AfterthisreplyChichikovinvoluntarilythrewaglanceatSobakevitch；andthoughthatlandowner'sfacewasasmotionlessasevery，theotherseemedtodetectinit：“Youliar！Don'ttellME
　　thatyouownbothariverandalake，aswellasthelandwhichyousayyoudo。“
　　Whilsttheforegoingconversationhadbeeninprogress，variouswitnesseshadbeenarrivingonthescene。TheyconsistedoftheconstantlyblinkingPublicProsecutor，theInspectoroftheMedicalDepartment，andothers——all，toquoteSobakevitch，“menwhocumberedthegroundfornothing。“Withsomeofthem，however，Chichikovwasaltogetherunacquainted，sincecertainsubstitutesandsupernumerarieshadtobepressedintotheservicefromamongtheranksofthesubordinatestaff。Therealsoarrived，inanswertothesummons，notonlythesonofFatherCyrilbeforementioned，butalsoFatherCyrilhimself。Eachsuchwitnessappendedtohissignatureafulllistofhisdignitiesandqualifications：onemaninprintedcharacters，anotherinaflowinghand，athirdintopsy-turvycharactersofakindneverbeforeseenintheRussianalphabet，andsoforth。MeanwhileourfriendIvanAntonovitchcomportedhimselfwithnotalittleaddress；
　　andaftertheindentureshadbeensigned，docketed，andregistered，ChichikovfoundhimselfcalledupontopayonlythemeresttrifleinthewayofGovernmentpercentageandfeesforpublishingthetransactionintheOfficialGazette。ThereasonofthiswasthatthePresidenthadgivenordersthatonlyhalftheusualchargesweretobeexactedfromthepresentpurchaser——theremaininghalfbeingsomehowdebitedtotheaccountofanotherapplicantforserfregistration。
　　“Andnow，“saidIvanGrigorievitchwhenallwascompleted，“weneedonlytowetthebargain。“
　　“ForthattooIamready，“saidChichikov。“Doyoubutnamethehour。
　　If，inreturnforyourmostagreeablecompany，Iwerenottosetafewchampagnecorksflying，Ishouldbeindeedindefault。“
　　“Butwearenotgoingtoletyouchargeyourselfwithanythingwhatsoever。WEmustprovidethechampagne，foryouareourguest，anditisforus——itisourduty，itisourboundenobligation——toentertainyou。Lookhere，gentlemen。LetusadjourntothehouseoftheChiefofPolice。Heisthemagicianwhoneedsbuttowinkwhenpassingafishmonger'sorawinemerchant's。Notonlyshallwefarewellathisplace，butalsoweshallgetagameofwhist。“
　　Tothisproposalnoonehadanyobjectiontooffer，forthemerementionofthefishshoparousedthewitnesses'appetite。
　　Consequently，theceremonybeingover，therewasageneralreachingforhatsandcaps。Asthepartywerepassingthroughthegeneraloffice，IvanAntonovitchwhisperedinChichikov'sear，withacourteousinclinationofhisjug-shapedphysiognomy：
　　“Youhavegivenahundredthousandroublesfortheserfs，buthavepaidMEonlyatrifleformytrouble。“
　　“Yes，“repliedChichikovwithasimilarwhisper，“butwhatsortofserfsdoyousupposethemtobe？Theyareapoor，uselesslot，andnotworthevenhalfthepurchasemoney。“
　　ThisgaveIvanAntonovitchtounderstandthatthevisitorwasamanofstrongcharacter——amanfromwhomnothingmorewastobeexpected。
　　“WhyhaveyougoneandpurchasedsoulsfromPlushkin？”whisperedSobakevitchinChichikov'sotherear。
　　“WhydidYOUgoandaddthewomanVorobeitoyourlist？”retortedChichikov。
　　“Vorobei？WhoisVorobei？”
　　“Thewoman'Elizabet'Vorobei——'Elizabet，'not'Elizabeta？'“
　　“Iaddednosuchname，“repliedSobakevitch，andstraightwayjoinedtheotherguests。
　　AtlengththepartyarrivedattheresidenceoftheChiefofPolice。
　　Thelatterprovedindeedamanofspells，fornosoonerhadhelearntwhatwasafootthanhesummonedabriskyoungconstable，whisperedinhisear，addinglaconically，“Youunderstand，doyounot？”andbroughtitaboutthat，duringthetimethattheguestswerecuttingforpartnersatwhistinanadjoiningroom，thedining-tablebecameladenwithsturgeon，caviare，salmon，herrings，cheese，smokedtongue，freshroe，andapottedvarietyofthesame——allprocuredfromthelocalfishmarket，andreinforcedwithadditionsfromthehost'sownkitchen。ThefactwasthattheworthyChiefofPolicefilledtheofficeofasortoffatherandgeneralbenefactortothetown，andthathemovedamongthecitizensasthoughtheyconstitutedpartandparcelofhisownfamily，andwatchedovertheirshopsandmarketsasthoughthoseestablishmentsweremerelyhisownprivatelarder。
　　Indeed，itwouldbedifficulttosay——sothoroughlydidheperformhisdutiesinthisrespect——whetherthepostmostfittedhim，orhethepost。Matterswerealsosoarrangedthatthoughhisincomemorethandoubledthatofhispredecessors，hehadneverlosttheaffectionofhisfellowtownsmen。Inparticulardidthetradesmenlovehim，sincehewasneverabovestandinggodfathertotheirchildrenordiningattheirtables。True，hehaddifferencesofopinionwiththem，andseriousdifferencesatthat；butalwaysthesewereskilfullyadjustedbyhisslappingtheoffendedonesjoviallyontheshoulder，drinkingaglassofteawiththem，promisingtocallattheirhousesandplayagameofchess，askingaftertheirbelongings，and，shouldhelearnthatachildoftheirswasill，prescribingthepropermedicine。Inshort，heborethereputationofbeingaverygoodfellow。
　　Onperceivingthefeasttobeready，thehostproposedthathisguestsshouldfinishtheirwhistafterluncheon；whereuponallproceededtotheroomwhenceforsometimepastanagreeableodourhadbeenticklingthenostrilsofthosepresent，andtowardsthedoorofwhichSobakevitchinparticularhadbeenglancingsincethemomentwhenhehadcaughtsightofahugesturgeonreposingonthesideboard。Afteraglassfulofwarm，olive-colouredvodkaapiece——vodkaofthetinttobeseenonlyinthespeciesofSiberianstonewhereofsealsarecut——thecompanyappliedthemselvestoknife-and-forkwork，and，insodoing，evincedtheirseveralcharacteristicsandtastes。Forinstance，Sobakevitch，disdaininglessertrifles，tackledthelargesturgeon，and，duringthetimethathisfellowguestswereeatingminorcomestibles，anddrinkingandtalking，contrivedtoconsumemorethanaquarterofthewholefish；sothat，onthehostrememberingthecreature，and，withforkinhand，leadingthewayinitsdirectionandsaying，“What，gentlemen，thinkyouofthisstrikingproductofnature？”thereensuedthediscoverythatofthesaidproductofnaturethereremainedlittlebeyondthetail，whileSobakevitch，withanairasthoughatleastHEhadnoteatenit，wasengagedinplunginghisforkintoamuchmorediminutivepieceoffishwhichhappenedtoberestingonanadjacentplatter。Afterhisdivorcefromthesturgeon，Sobakevitchateanddranknomore，butsatfrowningandblinkinginanarmchair。
　　Apparentlythehostwasnotamanwhobelievedinsparingthewine，forthetoastsdrunkwereinnumerable。ThefirsttoastasthereadermayguesswasquaffedtothehealthofthenewlandownerofKherson；
　　thesecondtotheprosperityofhispeasantsandtheirsafetransferment；andthethirdtothebeautyofhisfuturewife——acomplimentwhichbroughttoourhero'slipsaflickeringsmile。
　　Lastly，hereceivedfromthecompanyapressing，aswellasanunanimous，invitationtoextendhisstayintownforatleastanotherfortnight，and，inthemeanwhile，toallowawifetobefoundforhim。
　　“Quiteso，“agreedthePresident。“Fightustoothandnailthoughyoumay，weintendtohaveyoumarried。Youhavehappeneduponusbychance，andyoushallhavenoreasontorepentofit。Weareinearnestonthissubject。“
　　“ButwhyshouldIfightyoutoothandnail？”saidChichikov，smiling。
　　“Marriagewouldnotcomeamisstome，wereIbutprovidedwithabetrothed。“
　　“Thenabetrothedyoushallhave。Whynot？Wewilldoasyouwish。“
　　“Verywell，“assentedChichikov。
　　“Bravo，bravo！”thecompanyshouted。“LonglivePaulIvanovitch！
　　Hurrah！Hurrah！”Andwiththateveryoneapproachedtoclinkglasseswithhim，andhereadilyacceptedthecompliment，andaccepteditmanytimesinsuccession。Indeed，asthehourspassedon，thehilarityofthecompanyincreasedyetfurther，andmorethanoncethePresidentamanofgreaturbanitywhenthoroughlyinhiscupsembracedthechiefguestofthedaywiththeheartfeltwords，“Mydearestfellow！Myownmostpreciousoffriends！”Nay，heevenstartedtocrackhisfingers，todancearoundChichikov'schair，andtosingsnatchesofapopularsong。TothechampagnesucceededHungarianwine，whichhadtheeffectofstillfurtherhearteningandenliveningthecompany。Bythistimeeveryonehadforgottenaboutwhist，andgivenhimselfuptoshoutinganddisputing。Everyconceivablesubjectwasdiscussed，includingpoliticsandmilitaryaffairs；andinthisconnectionguestsvoicedjejuneopinionsfortheexpressionofwhichtheywould，atanyothertime，havesoundlyspankedtheiroffspring。Chichikov，liketherest，hadneverbeforefeltsogay，and，imagininghimselfreallyandtrulytobealandownerofKherson，spokeofvariousimprovementsinagriculture，ofthethree-fieldsystemoftillage[5]，andofthebeatificfelicityofaunionbetweentwokindredsouls。Also，hestartedtorecitepoetrytoSobakevitch，whoblinkedashelistened，forhegreatlydesiredtogotosleep。Atlengththeguestoftheeveningrealisedthatmattershadgonefarenough，sobeggedtobegivenalifthome，andwasaccommodatedwiththePublicProsecutor'sdrozhki。Luckilythedriverofthevehiclewasapractisedmanathiswork，for，whiledrivingwithonehand，hesucceededinleaningbackwardsand，withtheother，holdingChichikovsecurelyinhisplace。Arrivedattheinn，ourherocontinuedbabblingawhileaboutaflaxen-haireddamselwithrosylipsandadimpleinherrightcheek，aboutvillagesofhisinKherson，andabouttheamountofhiscapital。
　　Nay，heevenissuedseignorialinstructionsthatSelifanshouldgoandmusterthepeasantsabouttobetransferred，andmakeacompleteanddetailedinventoryofthem。ForawhileSelifanlistenedinsilence；
　　thenhelefttheroom，andinstructedPetrushkatohelpthebarintoundress。Asithappened，Chichikov'sbootshadnosoonerbeenremovedthanhemanagedtoperformtherestofhistoiletwithoutassistance，torollontothebedwhichcreakedterriblyashedidso，andtosinkintoasleepineverywayworthyofalandownerofKherson。
　　MeanwhilePetrushkahadtakenhismaster'scoatandtrousersofbilberry-colouredcheckintothecorridor；where，spreadingthemoveraclothes'horse，hestartedtoflickandtobrushthem，andtofillthewholecorridorwithdust。Justashewasabouttoreplacetheminhismaster'sroomhehappenedtoglanceovertherailingofthegallery，andsawSelifanreturningfromthestable。Glanceswereexchanged，andinaninstantthepairhadarrivedataninstinctiveunderstanding——anunderstandingtotheeffectthatthebarinwassoundasleep，andthatthereforeonemightconsiderone'sownpleasurealittle。AccordinglyPetrushkaproceededtorestorethecoatandtrouserstotheirappointedplaces，andthendescendedthestairs；
　　whereafterheandSelifanleftthehousetogether。Notawordpassedbetweenthemastotheobjectoftheirexpedition。Onthecontrary，theytalkedsolelyofextraneoussubjects。Yettheirwalkdidnottakethemfar；ittookthemonlytotheothersideofthestreet，andthenceintoanestablishmentwhichimmediatelyconfrontedtheinn。
　　Enteringamean，dirtycourtyardcoveredwithglass，theypassedthenceintoacellarwhereanumberofcustomerswereseatedaroundsmallwoodentables。WhatthereafterwasdonebySelifanandPetrushkaGodaloneknows。Atallevents，withinanhour'stimetheyissued，arminarm，andinprofoundsilence，yetremainingmarkedlyassiduoustooneanother，andeverreadytohelponeanotheraroundanawkwardcorner。Stilllinkedtogether——neveroncereleasingtheirmutualhold——theyspentthenextquarterofanhourinattemptingtonegotiatethestairsoftheinn；butatlengtheventhatascenthadbeenmastered，andtheyproceededfurtherontheirway。Haltingbeforehismeanlittlepallet，Petrushkastoodawhileinthought。Hisdifficultywashowbesttoassumearecumbentposition。Eventuallyhelaydownonhisface，withhislegstrailingoverthefloor；afterwhichSelifanalsostretchedhimselfuponthepallet，withhisheadrestinguponPetrushka'sstomach，andhismindwhollyobliviousofthefactthatheoughtnottohavebeensleepingthereatall，butintheservant'squarters，orinthestablebesidehishorses。Scarcelyamomenthadpassedbeforethepairwereplungedinslumberandemittingthemostraucoussnores；towhichtheirmasternextdoorrespondedwithsnoresofawhistlingandnasalorder。Indeed，beforelongeveryoneintheinnhadfollowedtheirsoothingexample，andthehostelrylayplungedincompleterestfulness。Onlyinthewindowoftheroomofthenewly-arrivedlieutenantfromRiazandidalightremainburning。
　　Evidentlyhewasadevoteeofboots，forhehadpurchasedfourpairs，andwasnowtryingonafifth。Severaltimesheapproachedthebedwithaviewtotakingoffthebootsandretiringtorest；buteachtimehefailed，forthereasonthatthebootsweresoalluringintheirmakethathehadnochoicebuttoliftupfirstonefoot，andthentheother，forthepurposeofscanningtheirelegantwelts。
　　[5]Thesystembywhich，inannualrotation，two-thirdsofagivenareaarecultivated，whiletheremainingthirdisleftfallow。
　　CHAPTERVIII
　　ItwasnotlongbeforeChichikov'spurchaseshadbecomethetalkofthetown；andvariousweretheopinionsexpressedastowhetherornotitwasexpedienttoprocurepeasantsfortransferment。Indeedsuchwastheinteresttakenbycertaincitizensinthematterthattheyadvisedthepurchasertoprovidehimselfandhisconvoywithanescort，inordertoensuretheirsafearrivalattheappointeddestination；butthoughChichikovthankedthedonorsofthisadviceforthesame，anddeclaredthatheshouldbeveryglad，incaseofneed，toavailhimselfofit，hedeclaredalsothattherewasnorealneedforanescort，seeingthatthepeasantswhomhehadpurchasedwereexceptionallypeace-lovingfolk，andthat，beingthemselvesconsentingpartiestothetransferment，theywouldundoubtedlyproveineverywaytractable。
　　Oneparticularlygoodresultofthisadvertisementofhisschemewasthathecametorankasneithermorenorlessthanamillionaire。
　　Consequently，muchastheinhabitantshadlikedourherointhefirstinstanceasseeninChapterI。，theynowlikedhimmorethanever。
　　Asamatteroffact，theywerecitizensofanexceptionallyquiet，good-natured，easy-goingdisposition；andsomeofthemwereevenwell-educated。Forinstance，thePresidentoftheLocalCouncilcouldrecitethewholeofZhukovski'sLUDMILLAbyheart，andgivesuchanimpressiverenderingofthepassage“Thepineforestwasasleepandthevalleyatrest“aswellasoftheexclamation“Phew！”thatonefelt，ashedidso，thatthepineforestandthevalleyreallyWERE
　　ashedescribedthem。Theeffectwasalsofurtherheightenedbythemannerinwhich，atsuchmoments，heassumedthemostportentousfrown。Forhispart，thePostmasterwentinmoreforphilosophy，anddiligentlyperusedsuchworksasYoung'sNightThoughts，andEckharthausen'sAKeytotheMysteriesofNature；ofwhichlatterworkhewouldmakecopiousextracts，thoughnoonehadtheslightestnotionwhattheyreferredto。Fortherest，hewasawitty，floridlittleindividual，andmuchaddictedtoapracticeofwhathecalled“embellishing“whatsoeverhehadtosay——afeatwhichheperformedwiththeaidofsuchby-the-wayphrasesas“mydearsir，““mygoodSo-and-So，““youknow，““youunderstand，““youmayimagine，“
　　“relativelyspeaking，““forinstance，“and“etcetera“；ofwhichphraseshewouldaddsackfulstohisspeech。Hecouldalso“embellish“
　　hiswordsbythesimpleexpedientofhalf-closing，half-winkingoneeye；whichtrickcommunicatedtosomeofhissatiricalutterancesquiteamordanteffect。Norwerehiscolleaguesawitinferiortohiminenlightenment。Forinstance，oneofthemmadearegularpracticeofreadingKaramzin，anotherofconningtheMoscowGazette，andathirdofneverlookingatabookatall。Likewise，althoughtheywerethesortofmentowhom，intheirmoreintimatemovements，theirwiveswouldverynaturallyaddresssuchnicknamesas“TobyJug，““Marmot，“
　　“Fatty，““PotBelly，““Smutty，““Kiki，“and“Buzz-Buzz，“theyweremenalsoofgoodheart，andveryreadytoextendtheirhospitalityandtheirfriendshipwhenonceaguesthadeatenoftheirbreadandsalt，orspentaneveningintheircompany。Particularly，therefore，didChichikovearnthesegoodfolk'sapprovalwithhistakingmethodsandqualities——somuchsothattheexpressionofthatapprovalbidfairtomakeitdifficultforhimtoquitthetown，seeingthat，whereverhewent，theonephrasedinnedintohisearswas“Stayanotherweekwithus，PaulIvanovitch。“Inshort，heceasedtobeafreeagent。Butincomparablymorestrikingwastheimpressionamatterforunboundedsurprise！whichheproducedupontheladies。ProperlytoexplainthisphenomenonIshouldneedtosayagreatdealabouttheladiesthemselves，andtodescribeinthemostvividofcolourstheirsocialintercourseandspiritualqualities。Yetthiswouldbeadifficultthingformetodo，since，ontheonehand，IshouldbehamperedbymyboundlessrespectforthewomenfolkofallCivilServiceofficials，and，ontheotherhand——well，simplybytheinnatearduousnessofthetask。TheladiesofN。were——Butno，Icannotdoit；myhearthasalreadyfailedme。Come，come！TheladiesofN。weredistinguishedfor——Butitisofnouse；somehowmypenseemstorefusetomoveoverthepaper——itseemstobeweightedaswithaplummetoflead。Verywell。Thatbeingso，IwillmerelysayawordortwoconcerningthemostprominenttintsonthefemininepaletteofN——merelyawordortwoconcerningtheoutwardappearanceofitsladies，andawordortwoconcerningtheirmoresuperficialcharacteristics。TheladiesofN。
　　werepre-eminentlywhatisknownas“presentable。“Indeed，inthatrespecttheymighthaveservedasamodeltotheladiesofmanyanothertown。Thatistosay，inwhateverpertainedto“tone，“
　　etiquette，theintricaciesofdecorum，andstrictobservanceoftheprevailingmode，theysurpassedeventheladiesofMoscowandSt。
　　Petersburg，seeingthattheydressedwithtaste，droveaboutincarriagesinthelatestfashions，andneverwentoutwithouttheescortofafootmaningold-lacedlivery。Again，theylookeduponavisitingcard——evenuponamake-shiftaffairconsistingofanaceofdiamondsoratwoofclubs——asasacredthing；sosacredthatononeoccasiontwocloselyrelatedladieswhohadalsobeencloselyattachedfriendswereknowntofalloutwithoneanotheroverthemerefactofanomissiontoreturnasocialcall！Yes，inspiteofthebesteffortsofhusbandsandkinsfolktoreconciletheantagonists，itbecameclearthat，thoughallelseintheworldmightconceivablybepossible，nevercouldthehatchetbeburiedbetweenladieswhohadquarrelledoveraneglectedvisit。Likewisestrenuousscenesusedtotakeplaceoverquestionsofprecedence——scenesofakindwhichhadtheeffectofinspiringhusbandstogreatandknightlyideasonthesubjectofprotectingthefair。True，neverdidaduelactuallytakeplace，sinceallthehusbandswereofficialsbelongingtotheCivilService；butatleastagivencombatantwouldstrivetoheapcontumelyuponhisrival，and，asweallknow，thatisaresourcewhichmayproveevenmoreeffectualthanaduel。Asregardsmorality，theladiesofN。werenothingifnotcensorious，andwouldatoncebefiredwithvirtuousindignationwhentheyheardofacaseofviceorseduction。Nay，eventomerefrailtytheywouldawardthelashwithoutmercy。Ontheotherhand，shouldanyinstanceofwhattheycalled“thirdpersonism“occuramongTHEIROWNcircle，itwasalwayskeptdark——notahintofwhatwasgoingonbeingallowedtotranspire，andeventhewrongedhusbandholdinghimselfready，shouldhemeetwith，orhearof，the“thirdperson，“toquote，inamildandrationalmanner，theproverb，“Whomconcernsitthatafriendshouldconsortwithfriend？”Inaddition，I
　　maysaythat，likemostofthefemaleworldofSt。Petersburg，theladiesofN。werepre-eminentlycarefulandrefinedintheirchoiceofwordsandphrases。Neverdidaladysay，“Iblewmynose，“or“I
　　perspired，“or“Ispat。“No，ithadtobe，“Irelievedmynosethroughtheexpedientofwipingitwithmyhandkerchief，“andsoforth。Again，tosay，“Thisglass，orthisplate，smellsbadly，“wasforbidden。No，notevenahinttosuchaneffectwastobedropped。Rather，theproperphrase，insuchacase，was“Thisglass，orthisplate，isnotbehavingverywell，“——orsomesuchformula。
　　Infact，torefinetheRussiantonguethemorethoroughly，somethinglikehalfthewordsinitwerecutout：whichcircumstancenecessitatedveryfrequentrecoursetothetongueofFrance，sincethesamewords，ifspokeninFrench，wereanothermatteraltogether，andonecoulduseevenblunteronesthantheonesoriginallyobjectedto。
　　SomuchfortheladiesofN。，providedthatoneconfinesone'sobservationstothesurface；yethardlyneeditbesaidthat，shouldonepenetratedeeperthanthat，agreatdealmorewouldcometolight。
　　Atthesametime，itisneveraverysafeproceedingtopeerdeeplyintotheheartsofladies；wherefore，restrictingourselvestotheforegoingsuperficialities，letusproceedfurtheronourway。
　　HithertotheladieshadpaidChichikovnoparticularattention，thoughgivinghimfullcreditforhisgentlemanlyandurbanedemeanour；butfromthemomentthattherearoserumoursofhisbeingamillionaireotherqualitiesofhisbegantobecanvassed。Nevertheless，notALL
　　theladiesweregovernedbyinterestedmotives，sinceitisduetotheterm“millionaire“ratherthantothecharacterofthepersonwhobearsit，thatthemeresoundofthewordexercisesuponrascals，upondecentfolk，anduponfolkwhoareneithertheonenortheother，anundeniableinfluence。Amillionairesuffersfromthedisadvantageofeverywherehavingtobeholdmeanness，includingthesortofmeannesswhich，thoughnotactuallybaseduponcalculationsofself-interest，yetrunsafterthewealthymanwithsmiles，anddoffshishat，andbegsforinvitationstohouseswherethemillionaireisknowntobegoingtodine。ThatasimilarinclinationtomeannessseizedupontheladiesofN。goeswithoutsaying；withtheresultthatmanyadrawing-roomhearditwhisperedthat，ifChichikovwasnotexactlyabeauty，atleasthewassufficientlygood-lookingtoserveforahusband，thoughhecouldhavebornetohavebeenalittlemorerotundandstout。Tothattherewouldbeaddedscornfulreferencestoleanhusbands，andhintsthattheyresembledtooth-brushesratherthanmen——withmanyotherfeminineadditions。Also，suchcrowdsoffeminineshoppersbegantorepairtotheBazaarasalmosttoconstituteacrush，andsomethinglikeaprocessionofcarriagesensued，solonggrewtherankofvehicles。Fortheirpart，thetradesmenhadthejoyofseeinghighlypriceddressmaterialswhichtheyhadbroughtatfairs，andthenbeenunabletodisposeof，nowsuddenlybecometradeable，andgooffwitharush。Forinstance，ononeoccasionaladyappearedatMassinabustlewhichfilledthechurchtoanextentwhichledthevergerondutytobidthecommonerfolkwithdrawtotheporch，lestthelady'stoiletshouldbesoiledinthecrush。EvenChichikovcouldnothelpprivatelyremarkingtheattentionwhichhearoused。Ononeoccasion，whenhereturnedtotheinn，hefoundonhistableanoteaddressedtohimself。Whenceithadcome，andwhohaddeliveredit，hefailedtodiscover，forthewaiterdeclaredthatthepersonwhohadbroughtithadomittedtoleavethenameofthewriter。
　　Beginningabruptlywiththewords“IMUSTwritetoyou，“theletterwentontosaythatbetweenacertainpairofsoulsthereexistedabondofsympathy；andthisveritytheepistlefurtherconfirmedwithrowsoffullstopstotheextentofnearlyhalfapage。NexttherefollowedafewreflectionsofacorrectitudesoremarkablethatIhavenochoicebuttoquotethem。“What，Iwouldask，isthislifeofours？”inquiredthewriter。“'Tisnoughtbutavaleofwoe。Andwhat，Iwouldask，istheworld？'Tisnoughtbutamobofunthinkinghumanity。“Thereafter，incidentallyremarkingthatshehadjustdroppedateartothememoryofherdearmother，whohaddepartedthislifetwenty-fiveyearsago，thepresumablyladywriterinvitedChichikovtocomeforthintothewilds，andtoleaveforeverthecitywhere，pennedinnoisomehaunts，folkcouldnotevendrawtheirbreath。Inconclusion，thewritergavewaytounconcealeddespair，andwoundupwiththefollowingverses：
　　“Twoturtledovestothee，oneday，Mydustwillshow，congealedindeath；
　　And，cooingwearily，they'llsay：
　　'Ingriefandlonelinessshedrewherclosingbreath。'“
　　True，thelastlinedidnotscan，butthatwasatrifle，sincethequatrainatleastconformedtothemodethenprevalent。Neithersignaturenordatewereappendedtothedocument，butonlyapostscriptexpressingaconjecturethatChichikov'sownheartwouldtellhimwhothewriterwas，andstating，inaddition，thatthesaidwriterwouldbepresentattheGovernor'sballonthefollowingnight。
　　ThisgreatlyinterestedChichikov。Indeed，therewassomuchthatwasalluringandprovocativeofcuriosityintheanonymousmissivethathereaditthroughasecondtime，andthenathird，andfinallysaidtohimself：“ISHOULDliketoknowwhosentit！”Inshort，hetookthethingseriously，andspentoveranhourinconsideringthesame。Atlength，mutteringacommentupontheepistle'sefflorescentstyle，herefoldedthedocument，andcommittedittohisdispatch-boxincompanywithaplay-billandaninvitationtoawedding——thelatterofwhichhadforthelastsevenyearsreposedintheself-samereceptacleandintheself-sameposition。ShortlyafterwardstherearrivedacardofinvitationtotheGovernor'sballalreadyreferredto。Inpassing，itmaybesaidthatsuchfestivitiesarenotinfrequentphenomenaincountytowns，forthereasonthatwhereGovernorsexisttheremusttakeplaceballsiffromthelocalgentrythereistobeevokedthatrespectfulaffectionwhichiseveryGovernor'sdue。
　　Thenceforthallextraneousthoughtsandconsiderationswerelaidasideinfavourofpreparingforthecomingfunction。Indeed，thisconjunctionofexcitingandprovocativemotivesledtoChichikovdevotingtohistoiletanamountoftimeneverwitnessedsincethecreationoftheworld。Merelyinthecontemplationofhisfeaturesinthemirror，ashetriedtocommunicatetothemasuccessionofvaryingexpressions，wasanhourspent。Firstofallhestrovetomakehisfeaturesassumeanairofdignityandimportance，andthenanairofhumble，butfaintlysatirical，respect，andthenanairofrespectguiltlessofanyalloywhatsoever。Next，hepractisedperformingaseriesofbowstohisreflection，accompaniedwithcertainmurmursintendedtobeararesemblancetoaFrenchphrasethoughChichikovknewnotasinglewordoftheGallictongue。LastlycametheperformingofaseriesofwhatImightcall“agreeablesurprises，“intheshapeoftwitchingsofthebrowandlipsandcertainmotionsofthetongue。Inshort，hedidallthatamanisapttodowhenheisnotonlyalone，butalsocertainthatheishandsomeandthatnooneisregardinghimthroughachink。Finallyhetappedhimselflightlyonthechin，andsaid，“Ah，goodoldface！”Inthesameway，whenhestartedtodresshimselffortheceremony，thelevelofhishighspiritsremainedunimpairedthroughouttheprocess。Thatistosay，whileadjustinghisbracesandtyinghistie，heshuffledhisfeetinwhatwasnotexactlyadance，butmightbecalledtheentr'acteofadance：whichperformancehadthenotveryseriousresultofsettingawardrobea-rattle，andcausingabrushtoslidefromthetabletothefloor。
　　Later，hisentryintotheballroomproducedanextraordinaryeffect。
　　Everyonepresentcameforwardtomeethim，somewithcardsintheirhands，andonemanevenbreakingoffaconversationatthemostinterestingpoint——namely，thepointthat“theInferiorLandCourtmustbemaderesponsibleforeverything。“Yes，inspiteoftheresponsibilityoftheInferiorLandCourt，thespeakercastallthoughtsofittothewindsashehurriedtogreetourhero。Fromeverysideresoundedacclamationsofwelcome，andChichikovfelthimselfengulfedinaseaofembraces。Thus，scarcelyhadheextricatedhimselffromthearmsofthePresidentoftheLocalCouncilwhenhefoundhimselfjustasfirmlyclaspedinthearmsoftheChiefofPolice，who，inturn，surrenderedhimtotheInspectoroftheMedicalDepartment，who，inturn，handedhimovertotheCommissionerofTaxes，who，again，committedhimtothechargeoftheTownArchitect。EventheGovernor，whohithertohadbeenstandingamonghiswomenfolkwithaboxofsweetsinonehandandalap-dogintheother，nowthrewdownbothsweetsandlap-dogthelap-doggivingventtoayelpashedidsoandaddedhisgreetingtothoseoftherestofthecompany。Indeed，notafacewastheretobeseenonwhichecstaticdelight——or，atallevents，thereflectionofotherpeople'secstaticdelight——wasnotpainted。Thesameexpressionmaybediscernedonthefacesofsubordinateofficialswhen，thenewlyarrivedDirectorhavingmadehisinspection，thesaidofficialsarebeginningtogetovertheirfirstsenseofaweonperceivingthathehasfoundmuchtocommend，andthathecanevengosofarastojestandutterafewwordsofsmilingapproval。Thereuponeverytchinovnikrespondswithasmileofdoublestrength，andthosewhoitmaybehavenotheardasinglewordoftheDirector'sspeechsmileoutofsympathywiththerest，andeventhegendarmewhoispostedatthedistantdoor——aman，perhaps，whohasneverbeforecompassedasmile，butismoreaccustomedtodealingoutblowstothepopulace——summonsupakindofgrin，eventhoughthegrinresemblesthegrimaceofamanwhoisabouttosneezeafterinadvertentlytakinganover-largepinchofsnuff。ToallandsundryChichikovrespondedwithabow，andfeltextraordinarilyathiseaseashedidso。Torightandleftdidheinclinehisheadinthesidelong，yetunconstrained，mannerthatwashiswontandneverfailedtocharmthebeholder。Asfortheladies，theyclusteredaroundhiminashiningbevythatwasredolentofeveryspeciesofperfume——ofroses，ofspringviolets，andofmignonette；somuchsothatinstinctivelyChichikovraisedhisnosetosnufftheair。
　　Likewisetheladies'dressesdisplayedanendlessprofusionoftasteandvariety；andthoughthemajorityoftheirwearersevincedatendencytoembonpoint，thosewearersknewhowtocalluponartfortheconcealmentofthefact。Confrontingthem，Chichikovthoughttohimself：“Whichofthesebeautiesisthewriteroftheletter？”Thenagainhesnuffedtheair。Whentheladieshad，toacertainextent，returnedtotheirseats，heresumedhisattemptstodiscernfromglancesandexpressionswhichofthemcouldpossiblybetheunknownauthoress。Yet，thoughthoseglancesandexpressionsweretoosubtle，tooinsufficientlyopen，thedifficultyinnowaydiminishedhishighspirits。Easilyandgracefullydidheexchangeagreeablebandinagewithonelady，andthenapproachanotheronewiththeshort，mincingstepsusuallyaffectedbyyoung-olddandieswhoareflutteringaroundthefair。Asheturned，notwithoutdexterity，torightandleft，hekeptonelegslightlydraggingbehindtheother，likeashorttailorcomma。Thistricktheladiesparticularlyadmired。Inshort，theynotonlydiscoveredinhimahostofrecommendationsandattractions，butalsobegantoseeinhisfaceasortofgrand，Mars-like，militaryexpression——athingwhich，asweknow，neverfailstopleasethefeminineeye。Certainoftheladieseventooktobickeringoverhim，and，onperceivingthathespentmostofhistimestandingnearthedoor，someoftheirnumberhastenedtooccupychairsnearertohispostofvantage。Infact，whenacertaindamechancedtohavethegoodfortunetoanticipateahatedrivalintheracethereverynearlyensuedamostlamentablescene——which，tomanyofthosewhohadbeendesirousofdoingexactlythesamething，seemedapeculiarlyhorribleinstanceofbrazen-facedaudacity。
　　SodeeplydidChichikovbecomeplungedinconversationwithhisfairpursuers——orrather，sodeeplydidthosefairpursuersenmeshhiminthetoilsofsmalltalkwhichtheyaccomplishedthroughtheexpedientofaskinghimendlesssubtleriddleswhichbroughtthesweattohisbrowinhisattemptstoguessthem——thatheforgottheclaimsofcourtesywhichrequiredhimfirstofalltogreethishostess。Infact，herememberedthoseclaimsonlyonhearingtheGovernor'swifeherselfaddressinghim。Shehadbeenstandingbeforehimforseveralminutes，andnowgreetedhimwithsuaveexpressementandthewords，“SoHEREyouare，PaulIvanovitch！”ButwhatshesaidnextIamnotinapositiontoreport，forshespokeintheultra-refinedtoneandveinwhereinladiesandgentlemencustomarilyexpressthemselvesinhigh-classnovelswhichhavebeenwrittenbyexpertsmorequalifiedthanIamtodescribesalons，andabletoboastofsomeacquaintancewithgoodsociety。Ineffect，whattheGovernor'swifesaidwasthatshehoped——shegreatlyhoped——thatMonsieurChichikov'sheartstillcontainedacorner——eventhesmallestpossiblecorner——forthosewhomhehadsocruellyforgotten。UponthatChichikovturnedtoher，andwasonthepointofreturningareplyatleastnoworsethanthatwhichwouldhavebeenreturned，undersimilarcircumstances，bytheheroofafashionablenovelette，whenhestoppedshort，asthoughthunderstruck。
　　BeforehimtherewasstandingnotonlyMadame，butalsoayounggirlwhomshewasholdingbythehand。Thegoldenhair，thefine-drawn，delicatecontours，thefacewithitsbewitchingoval——afacewhichmighthaveservedasamodelforthecountenanceoftheMadonna，sinceitwasofatyperarelytobemetwithinRussia，wherenearlyeverything，fromplainstohumanfeet，is，rather，onthegiganticscale；thesefeatures，Isay，werethoseoftheidenticalmaidenwhomChichikovhadencounteredontheroadwhenhehadbeenfleeingfromNozdrev's。Hisemotionwassuchthathecouldnotformulateasingleintelligiblesyllable；hecouldmerelymurmurthedevilonlyknowswhat，thoughcertainlynothingofthekindwhichwouldhaverisentothelipsoftheheroofafashionablenovel。
　　“Ithinkthatyouhavenotmetmydaughterbefore？”saidMadame。“Sheisjustfreshfromschool。“
　　HerepliedthatheHADhadthehappinessofmeetingMademoisellebefore，andunderratherunexpectedcircumstances；butonhistryingtosaysomethingfurtherhistonguecompletelyfailedhim。TheGovernor'swifeaddedawordortwo，andthencarriedoffherdaughtertospeaktosomeoftheotherguests。
　　Chichikovstoodrootedtothespot，likeamanwho，afterissuingintothestreetforapleasantwalk，hassuddenlycometoahaltonrememberingthatsomethinghasbeenleftbehindhim。Inamoment，ashestrugglestorecallwhatthatsomethingis，themienofcarelessexpectancydisappearsfromhisface，andhenolongerseesasinglepersonorasingleobjectinhisvicinity。InthesamewaydidChichikovsuddenlybecomeoblivioustothescenearoundhim。Yetallthewhilethemelodioustonguesofladieswereplyinghimwithmultitudinoushintsandquestions——hintsandquestionsinspiredwithadesiretocaptivate。“Mightwepoorcumberersofthegroundmakesoboldastoaskyouwhatyouarethinkingof？”“Praytelluswhereliethehappyregionsinwhichyourthoughtsarewandering？”“Mightwebeinformedofthenameofherwhohasplungedyouintothissweetabandonmentofmeditation？”——suchwerethephrasesthrownathim。Buttoeverythingheturnedadeadear，andthephrasesinquestionmightaswellhavebeenstonesdroppedintoapool。Indeed，hisrudenesssoonreachedthepitchofhiswalkingawayaltogether，inorderthathemightgoandreconnoitrewithertheGovernor'swifeanddaughterhadretreated。Buttheladieswerenotgoingtolethimoffsoeasily。
　　Everyoneofthemhadmadeuphermindtouseuponhimhereveryweapon，andtoexhibitwhatsoevermightchancetoconstituteherbestpoint。Yettheladies'wilesproveduseless，forChichikovpaidnotthesmallestattentiontothem，evenwhenthedancinghadbegun，butkeptraisinghimselfontiptoetopeeroverpeople'sheadsandascertaininwhichdirectionthebewitchingmaidenwiththegoldenhairhadgone。Also，whenseated，hecontinuedtopeepbetweenhisneighbours'backsandshoulders，untilatlasthediscoveredhersittingbesidehermother，whowaswearingasortofOrientalturbanandfeather。Uponthatonewouldhavethoughtthathispurposewastocarrythepositionbystorm；for，whethermovedbytheinfluenceofspring，orwhethermovedbyapushfrombehind，hepressedforwardwithsuchdesperateresolutionthathiselbowcausedtheCommissionerofTaxestostaggeronhisfeet，andwouldhavecausedhimtolosehisbalancealtogetherbutforthesupportingrowofguestsintherear。
　　LikewisethePostmasterwasmadetogiveground；whereuponheturnedandeyedChichikovwithmingledastonishmentandsubtleirony。ButChichikovneverevennoticedhim；hesawinthedistanceonlythegolden-hairedbeauty。Atthatmomentshewasdrawingonalonggloveand，doubtless，piningtobeflyingoverthedancing-floor，where，withclickingheels，fourcoupleshadnowbeguntothreadthemazesofthemazurka。Inparticularwasamilitarystaff-captainworkingbodyandsoulandarmsandlegstocompasssuchaseriesofstepsaswereneverbeforeperformed，eveninadream。However，Chichikovslippedpastthemazurkadancers，and，almosttreadingontheirheels，madehiswaytowardsthespotwhereMadameandherdaughterwereseated。
　　Yetheapproachedthemwithgreatdiffidenceandnoneofhislatemincingandprancing。Nay，heevenfalteredashewalked；hiseverymovementhadaboutitanairofawkwardness。
　　Itisdifficulttosaywhetherornotthefeelingwhichhadawakenedinourhero'sbreastwasthefeelingoflove；foritisproblematicalwhetherornotmenwhoareneitherstoutnorthinarecapableofanysuchsentiment。Nevertheless，somethingstrange，somethingwhichhecouldnotaltogetherexplain，hadcomeuponhim。Itseemedasthoughtheball，withitstalkanditsclatter，hadsuddenlybecomeathingremote——thattheorchestrahadwithdrawnbehindahill，andthescenegrownmisty，likethecarelesslypainted-inbackgroundofapicture。
　　Andfromthatmistyvoidtherecouldbeseenglimmeringonlythedelicateoutlinesofthebewitchingmaiden。Somehowherexquisiteshaperemindedhimofanivorytoy，insuchfair，white，transparentreliefdiditstandoutagainstthedullblurofthesurroundingthrong。
　　Hereinweseeaphenomenonnotinfrequentlyobserved——thephenomenonoftheChichikovsofthisworldbecomingtemporarilypoets。Atallevents，foramomentortwoourChichikovfeltthathewasayoungmanagain，ifnotexactlyamilitaryofficer。Onperceivinganemptychairbesidethemotheranddaughter，hehastenedtooccupyit，andthoughconversationatfirsthungfire，thingsgraduallyimproved，andheacquiredmoreconfidence。
　　AtthispointImustreluctantlydeviatetosaythatmenofweightandhighofficearealwaysatrifleponderouswhenconversingwithladies。
　　Younglieutenants——or，atallevents，officersnotabovetherankofcaptain——arefarmoresuccessfulatthegame。HowtheycontrivetobesoGodonlyknows。Letthembutmakethemostinaneofremarks，andatoncethemaidenbytheirsidewillberockingwithlaughter；whereas，shouldaStateCouncillorenterintoconversationwithadamsel，andremarkthattheRussianEmpireisoneofvastextent，orutteracomplimentwhichhehaselaboratednotwithoutacertainmeasureofintelligencehoweverstronglythesaidcomplimentmaysmackofabook，ofasuretythethingwillfallflat。Evenawitticismfromhimwillbelaughedatfarmorebyhimhimselfthanitwillbytheladywhomayhappentobelisteningtohisremarks。
　　ThesecommentsIhaveinterposedforthepurposeofexplainingtothereaderwhy，asourheroconversed，themaidenbegantoyawn。Blindtothis，however，hecontinuedtorelatetohersundryadventureswhichhadbefallenhimindifferentpartsoftheworld。Meanwhileasneedhardlybesaidtherestoftheladieshadtakenumbrageathisbehaviour。Oneofthempurposelystalkedpasthimtointimatetohimthefact，aswellastojostletheGovernor'sdaughter，andlettheflyingendofascarfflickherface；whilefromaladyseatedbehindthepaircamebothawhiffofvioletsandaveryvenomousandsarcasticremark。Nevertheless，eitherhedidnotheartheremarkorhePRETENDEDnottohearit。Thiswasunwiseofhim，sinceitneverdoestodisregardladies'opinions。Later-buttoolate——hewasdestinedtolearnthistohiscost。
　　Inshort，dissatisfactionbegantodisplayitselfoneveryfeminineface。NomatterhowhighChichikovmightstandinsociety，andnomatterhowmuchhemightbeamillionaireandincludeinhisexpressionofcountenanceanindefinableelementofgrandnessandmartialardour，therearecertainthingswhichnoladywillpardon，whosoeverbethepersonconcerned。WeknowthatatGovernor'sballsitiscustomaryfortheonlookerstocomposeversesattheexpenseofthedancers；andinthiscasetheversesweredirectedtoChichikov'saddress。Briefly，theprevailingdissatisfactiongrewuntilatacitedictofproscriptionhadbeenissuedagainstbothhimandthepooryoungmaiden。
　　Butanevenmoreunpleasantsurprisewasinstoreforourhero；forwhilsttheyoungladywasstillyawningasChichikovrecountedtohercertainofhispastadventuresandalsotouchedlightlyuponthesubjectofGreekphilosophy，thereappearedfromanadjoiningroomthefigureofNozdrev。Whetherhehadcomefromthebuffet，orwhetherhehadissuedfromalittlegreenretreatwhereagamemorestrenuousthanwhisthadbeeninprogress，orwhetherhehadleftthelatterresortunaided，orwhetherhehadbeenexpelledtherefrom，isunknown；
　　butatalleventswhenheenteredtheballroom，hewasinanelevatedcondition，andleadingbythearmthePublicProsecutor，whomheseemedtohavebeendraggingaboutforalongwhilepast，seeingthatthepoormanwasglancingfromsidetosideasthoughseekingameansofputtinganendtothispersonallyconductedtour。Certainlyhemusthavefoundthesituationalmostunbearable，inviewofthefactthat，afterderivinginspirationfromtwoglassesofteanotwhollyundilutedwithrum，Nozdrevwasengagedinlyingunmercifully。Onsightinghiminthedistance，Chichikovatoncedecidedtosacrificehimself。Thatistosay，hedecidedtovacatehispresentenviablepositionandmakeoffwithallpossiblespeed，sincehecouldseethatanencounterwiththenewcomerwoulddohimnogood。UnfortunatelyatthatmomenttheGovernorbuttonholedhimwitharequestthathewouldcomeandactasarbiterbetweenhimtheGovernorandtwoladies——thesubjectofdisputebeingthequestionastowhetherornotwoman'sloveislasting。SimultaneouslyNozdrevdescriedourheroandboredownuponhim。
　　“Ah，myfinelandownerofKherson！”hecriedwithasmilewhichsethisfresh，spring-rose-pinkcheeksa-quiver。“Haveyoubeendoingmuchtradeindepartedsoulslately？”WiththatheturnedtotheGovernor。
　　“IsupposeyourExcellencyknowsthatthismantrafficsindeadpeasants？”hebawled。“Lookhere，Chichikov。Itellyouinthemostfriendlywaypossiblethateveryoneherelikesyou——yes，includingeventheGovernor。Nevertheless，hadImyway，Iwouldhangyou！Yes，byGodIwould！”
　　Chichikov'sdiscomfiturewascomplete。
　　“And，wouldyoubelieveit，yourExcellency，“wentonNozdrev，“butthisfellowactuallysaidtome，'Sellmeyourdeadsouls！'Why，I
　　laughedtillInearlybecameasdeadasthesouls。And，behold，nosoonerdoIarriveherethanIamtoldthathehasboughtthreemillionroubles'worthofpeasantsfortransferment！Fortransferment，indeed！AndhewantedtobargainwithmeformyDEADones！Lookhere，Chichikov。Youareaswine！Yes，byGod，youareanutterswine！
　　Isnotthatso，yourExcellency？Isnotthatso，friendProkurator[1]？”
　　[1]PublicProsecutor。
　　ButbothhisExcellency，thePublicProsecutor，andChichikovweretootakenabacktoreply。Thehalf-tipsyNozdrev，withoutnoticingthem，continuedhisharangueasbefore。
　　“Ah，myfinesir！”hecried。“THIStimeIdon'tmeantoletyougo。
　　No，notuntilIhavelearntwhatallthispurchasingofdeadpeasantsmeans。Lookhere。Yououghttobeashamedofyourself。Yes，_I_saythat——_I_whoamoneofyourbestfriends。“HereheturnedtotheGovernoragain。“YourExcellency，“hecontinued，“youwouldneverbelievewhatinseperablesthismanandIhavebeen。Indeed，ifyouhadstoodthereandsaidtome，'Nozdrev，tellmeonyourhonourwhichofthetwoyoulovebest——yourfatherorChichikov？'Ishouldhavereplied，'Chichikov，byGod！'“Withthathetackledourheroagain，“Come，come，myfriend！”heurged。“Letmeimprintuponyourcheeksabaiserortwo。YouwillexcusemeifIkisshim，willyounot，yourExcellency？No，donotresistme，Chichikov，butallowmetoimprintatleastonebaiseruponyourlily-whitecheek。“AndinhiseffortstoforceuponChichikovwhathetermedhis“baisers“hecameneartomeasuringhislengthuponthefloor。
　　Everyonenowedgedaway，andturnedadeafeartohisfurtherbabblings；buthiswordsonthesubjectofthepurchaseofdeadsoulshadnonethelessbeenutteredatthetopofhisvoice，andbeenaccompaniedwithsuchuproariouslaughterthatthecuriosityevenofthosewhohadhappenedtobesittingorstandingintheremotercornersoftheroomhadbeenaroused。Sostrangeandnovelseemedtheideathatthecompanystoodwithfacesexpressiveofnothingbutadumb，dullwonder。OnlysomeoftheladiesasChichikovdidnotfailtoremarkexchangedmeaning，ill-naturedwinksandaseriesofsarcasticsmiles：whichcircumstancestillfurtherincreasedhisconfusion。ThatNozdrevwasanotoriousliareveryone，ofcourse，knew，andthatheshouldhavegivenventtoanidioticoutburstofthissorthadsurprisednoone；butadeadsoul——well，whatwasonetomakeofNozdrev'sreferencetosuchacommodity？
　　Naturallythisunseemlycontretempshadgreatlyupsetourhero；for，howeverfoolishbeamadman'swords，theymayyetprovesufficienttosowdoubtinthemindsofsanerindividuals。Hefeltmuchasdoesamanwho，shodwithwell-polishedboots，hasjuststeppedintoadirty，stinkingpuddle。Hetriedtoputawayfromhimtheoccurrence，andtoexpand，andtoenjoyhimselfoncemore。Nay，heeventookahandatwhist。Butallwasofnoavail——matterskeptgoingasawryasabadly-benthoop。Twiceheblunderedinhisplay，andthePresidentoftheCouncilwasatalosstounderstandhowhisfriend，PaulIvanovitch，latelysogoodandsocircumspectaplayer，couldperpetratesuchamauvaispasastothrowawayaparticularkingofspadeswhichthePresidenthasbeen“trusting“astoquotehisownexpression“hewouldhavetrustedGod。“Atsupper，too，mattersfeltuncomfortable，eventhoughthesocietyatChichikov'stablewasexceedinglyagreeableandNozdrevhadbeenremoved，owingtothefactthattheladieshadfoundhisconducttooscandaloustobeborne，nowthatthedelinquenthadtakentoseatinghimselfonthefloorandpluckingattheskirtsofpassingladydancers。AsIsay，therefore，Chichikovfoundthesituationnotalittleawkward，andeventuallyputanendtoitbyleavingthesupperroombeforethemealwasover，andlongbeforethehourwhenusuallyhereturnedtotheinn。
　　Inhislittleroom，withitsdoorofcommunicationblockedwithawardrobe，hisframeofmindremainedasuncomfortableasthechairinwhichhewasseated。Hisheartachedwithadull，unpleasantsensation，withasortofoppressiveemptiness。
　　“Thedeviltakethosewhofirstinventedballs！”washisreflection。
　　“Whoderivesanyrealpleasurefromthem？Inthisprovincethereexistwantandscarcityeverywhere：yetfolkgoinforballs！Howabsurd，too，werethoseoverdressedwomen！Oneofthemmusthavehadathousandroublesonherback，andallacquiredattheexpenseoftheovertaxedpeasant，or，worsestill，atthatoftheconscienceofherneighbour。Yes，weallknowwhybribesareaccepted，andwhymenbecomecrookedinsoul。Itisalldonetoprovidewives——yes，maythepitswallowthemup！——withfal-lals。Andforwhatpurpose？Thatsomewomanmaynothavetoreproachherhusbandwiththefactthat，say，thePostmaster'swifeiswearingabetterdressthansheis——adresswhichhascostathousandroubles！'Ballsandgaiety，ballsandgaiety'istheconstantcry。Yetwhatfollyballsare！TheydonotconsortwiththeRussianspiritandgenius，andthedevilonlyknowswhywehavethem。Agrown，middle-agedman——amandressedinblack，andlookingasstiffasapoker——suddenlytakesthefloorandbeginsshufflinghisfeetabout，whileanotherman，eventhoughconversingwithacompaniononimportantbusiness，will，thewhile，keepcaperingtorightandleftlikeabilly-goat！Mimicry，sheermimicry！ThefactthattheFrenchmanisatfortypreciselywhathewasatfifteenleadsustoimaginethatwetoo，forsooth，oughttobethesame。No；aballleavesonefeelingthatonehasdoneawrongthing——somuchsothatonedoesnotcareeventothinkofit。Italsoleavesone'sheadperfectlyempty，evenasdoestheexertionoftalkingtoamanoftheworld。Amanofthatkindchattersaway，andtoucheslightlyuponeveryconceivablesubject，andtalksinsmooth，fluentphraseswhichhehasculledfrombookswithoutgrazingtheirsubstance；whereasgoandhaveachatwithatradesmanwhoknowsatleastONEthingthoroughly，andthroughthemediumofexperience，andseewhetherhisconversationwillnotbeworthmorethantheprattleofathousandchatterboxes。Forwhatgooddoesonegetoutofballs？Supposethatacompetentwriterweretodescribesuchasceneexactlyasitstands？
　　Why，eveninabookitwouldseemsenseless，evenasitcertainlyisinlife。Are，therefore，suchfunctionsrightorwrong？Onewouldanswerthatthedevilaloneknows，andthenspitandclosethebook。“
　　SuchweretheunfavourablecommentswhichChichikovpasseduponballsingeneral。Withitall，however，therewentasecondsourceofdissatisfaction。Thatistosay，hisprincipalgrudgewasnotsomuchagainstballsasagainstthefactthatatthisparticularonehehadbeenexposed，hehadbeenmadetodisclosethecircumstancethathehadbeenplayingastrange，anambiguouspart。Ofcourse，whenhereviewedthecontretempsinthelightofpurereason，hecouldnotbutseethatitmatterednothing，andthatafewrudewordswereofnoaccountnowthatthechiefpointhadbeenattained；yetmanisanoddcreature，andChichikovactuallyfeltpainedbythecould-shoulderingadministeredtohimbypersonsforwhomhehadnotanatomofrespect，andwhosevanityandloveofdisplayhehadonlythatmomentbeencensuring。Stillmore，onviewingthematterclearly，hefeltvexedtothinkthathehimselfhadbeensolargelythecauseofthecatastrophe。
　　YethewasnotangrywithHIMSELF——ofthatyoumaybesure，seeingthatallofushaveaslightweaknessforsparingourownfaults，andalwaysdoourbesttofindsomefellow-creatureuponwhomtoventourdispleasure——whetherthatfellow-creaturebeaservant，asubordinateofficial，orawife。InthesamewayChichikovsoughtascapegoatuponwhoseshouldershecouldlaytheblameforallthathadannoyedhim。
　　HefoundoneinNozdrev，andyoumaybesurethatthescapegoatinquestionreceivedagooddrubbingfromeveryside，evenasanexperiencedcaptainorchiefofpolicewillgiveaknavishstarostaorpostboyaratingnotonlyinthetermsbecomeclassical，butalsoinsuchtermsasthesaidcaptainorchiefofpolicemayinventforhimself。Inshort，Nozdrev'swholelineagewaspassedinreview；andmanyofitsmembersintheascendinglinefaredbadlyintheprocess。
　　Meanwhile，attheotherendofthetowntherewasinprogressaneventwhichwasdestinedtoaugmentstillfurthertheunpleasantnessofourhero'sposition。Thatistosay，throughtheoutlyingstreetsandalleysofthetowntherewasclatteringavehicletowhichitwouldbedifficultpreciselytoassignaname，seeingthat，thoughitwasofaspeciespeculiartoitself，itmostnearlyresembledalarge，ricketywatermelononwheels。Eventuallythismonstrositydrewupatthegatesofahousewherethearchpriestofoneofthechurchesresided，andfromitsdoorsthereleaptadamselcladinajerkinandwearingascarfoverherhead。Forawhileshethumpedthegatessovigorouslyastosetallthedogsbarking；thenthegatesstifflyopened，andadmittedthisunwieldyphenomenonoftheroad。Lastly，thebariniaherselfalighted，andstoodrevealedasMadameKorobotchka，widowofaCollegiateSecretary！ThereasonofhersuddenarrivalwasthatshehadfeltsouneasyaboutthepossibleoutcomeofChichikov'swhim，thatduringthethreenightsfollowinghisdepartureshehadbeenunabletosleepawink；whereafter，inspiteofthefactthatherhorseswerenotshod，shehadsetoffforthetown，inordertolearnatfirsthandhowthedeadsoulswerefaring，andwhetherwhichmightGodforfend！shehadnotsoldthematsomethinglikeathirdoftheirtruevalue。Theconsequencesofherventurethereaderwilllearnfromaconversationbetweentwoladies。Wewillreserveitfortheensuingchapter。
　　CHAPTERIX
　　Nextmorning，beforetheusualhourforpayingcalls，theretrippedfromtheportalsofanorange-colouredwoodenhousewithanatticstoreyandarowofbluepillarsaladyinanelegantplaidcloak。
　　Withhercameafootmaninamany-capedgreatcoatandapolishedtophatwithagoldband。Hastily，butgracefully，theladyascendedthestepsletdownfromakoliaskawhichwasstandingbeforetheentrance，andassoonasshehaddonesothefootmanshutherin，putupthestepsagain，and，catchingholdofthestrapbehindthevehicle，shoutedtothecoachman，“Rightaway！”Thereasonofallthiswasthattheladywasthepossessorofapieceofintelligencethatshewasburningtocommunicatetoafellow-creature。Everymomentshekeptlookingoutofthecarriagewindow，andperceiving，withalmostspeechlessvexation，that，asyet，shewasbuthalf-wayonherjourney。Thefrontsofthehousesappearedtoherlongerthanusual，andinparticulardidthefrontofthewhitestonehospital，withitsrowsofnarrowwindows，seeminterminabletoadegreewhichatlengthforcedhertoejaculate：“Oh，thecursedbuilding！Positivelythereisnoendtoit！”Also，shetwiceadjuredthecoachmanwiththewords，“Goquicker，Andrusha！Youareahorriblylongtimeoverthejourneythismorning。“Butatlengththegoalwasreached，andthekoliaskastoppedbeforeaone-storiedwoodenmansion，darkgreyincolour，andhavingwhitecarvingsoverthewindows，atallwoodenfenceandnarrowgardeninfrontofthelatter，andafewmeagretreesloomingwhitewithanincongruouscoatingofroaddust。Inthewindowsofthebuildingwerealsoafewflowerpotsandaparrotthatkeptalternatelydancingonthefloorofitscageandhangingontotheringofthesamewithitsbeak。Also，inthesunshinebeforethedoortwopetdogsweresleeping。Heretherelivedthelady'sbosomfriend。
　　Assoonasthebosomfriendinquestionlearntofthenewcomer'sarrival，sherandownintothehall，andthetwoladieskissedandembracedoneanother。Thentheyadjournedtothedrawing-room。
　　“HowgladIamtoseeyou！”saidthebosomfriend。“WhenIheardsomeonearrivingIwonderedwhocouldpossiblybecallingsoearly。
　　ParashadeclaredthatitmustbetheVice-Governor'swife，so，asI
　　didnotwanttobeboredwithher，IgaveordersthatIwastobereported'notathome。'“
　　Forherpart，theguestwouldhavelikedtohaveproceededtobusinessbycommunicatinghertidings，butasuddenexclamationfromthehostessimpartedtemporarilyanewdirectiontotheconversation。
　　“Whataprettychintz！”shecried，gazingattheother'sgown。
　　“Yes，itISpretty，“agreedthevisitor。“Ontheotherhand，PraskoviaThedorovnathinksthat——“
　　Inotherwords，theladiesproceededtoindulgeinaconversationonthesubjectofdress；andonlyafterthishadlastedforaconsiderablewhiledidthevisitorletfallaremarkwhichledherentertainertoinquire：
　　“Andhowistheuniversalcharmer？”
　　“MyGod！”repliedtheother。“TherehasbeenSUCHabusiness！Infact，doyouknowwhyIamhereatall？”Andthevisitor'sbreathingbecamemorehurried，andfurtherwordsseemedtobehoveringbetweenherlipslikehawkspreparingtostoopupontheirprey。Onlyapersonoftheunhumanityofa“truefriend“wouldhavehadthehearttointerrupther；butthehostesswasjustsuchafriend，andatonceinterposedwith：
　　“Iwonderhowanyonecanseeanythinginthemantopraiseortoadmire。Formyownpart，Ithink——andIwouldsaythesamethingstraighttohisface——thatheisaperfectrascal。“
　　“Yes，butdolistentowhatIhavegottotellyou。“
　　“Oh，Iknowthatsomepeoplethinkhimhandsome，“continuedthehostess，unmoved；“but_I_saythatheisnothingofthekind——that，inparticular，hisnoseisperfectlyodious。“
　　“Yes，butletmefinishwhatIwassaying。“Theguest'stonewasalmostpiteousinitsappeal。
　　“Whatisit，then？”
　　“Youcannotimaginemystateofmind！Yousee，thismorningIreceivedavisitfromFatherCyril'swife——theArchpriest'swife——youknowher，don'tyou？Well，whomdoyousupposethatfinegentlemanvisitorofourshasturnedouttobe？”
　　“ThemanwhohasbuilttheArchpriestapoultry-run？”
　　“Ohdearno！Hadthatbeenall，itwouldhavebeennothing。No。ListentowhatFatherCyril'swifehadtotellme。Shesaidthat，lastnight，aladylandownernamedMadameKorobotchkaarrivedattheArchpriest'shouse——arrivedallpaleandtrembling——andtoldher，oh，suchthings！
　　Theysoundlikeapieceoutofabook。Thatistosay，atdeadofnight，justwheneveryonehadretiredtorest，therecamethemostdreadfulknockingimaginable，andsomeonescreamedout，'Openthegates，orwewillbreakthemdown！'Justthink！Afterthis，howanyonecansaythatthemanischarmingIcannotimagine。“
　　“Well，whatofMadameKorobotchka？Issheayoungwomanorgoodlooking？”
　　“Ohdearno！Quiteanoldwoman。“
　　“Splendidindeed！Soheisactuallyengagedtoapersonlikethat？Onemayheartilycommendthetasteofourladiesforhavingfalleninlovewithhim！”
　　“Nevertheless，itisnotasyousuppose。Think，now！Armedwithweaponsfromheadtofoot，hecalleduponthisoldwoman，andsaid：
　　'Sellmeanysoulsofyourswhichhavelatelydied。'Ofcourse，MadameKorobotchkaanswered，reasonablyenough：'Icannotsellyouthosesouls，seeingthattheyhavedepartedthisworld；'buthereplied：
　　'No，no！TheyareNOTdead。'TisIwhotellyouthat——Iwhooughttoknowthetruthofthematter。Iswearthattheyarestillalive。'Inshort，hemadesuchascenethatthewholevillagecamerunningtothehouse，andchildrenscreamed，andmenshouted，andnoonecouldtellwhatitwasallabout。Theaffairseemedtomesohorrible，soutterlyhorrible，thatItrembledbeyondbeliefasIlistenedtothestory。
　　'Mydearestmadam，'saidmymaid，Mashka，'praylookatyourselfinthemirror，andseehowwhiteyouare。''ButIhavenotimeforthat，'
　　Ireplied，'asImustbeofftotellmyfriend，AnnaGrigorievna，thenews。'NordidIloseamomentinorderingthekoliaska。Yetwhenmycoachman，Andrusha，askedmefordirectionsIcouldnotgetawordout——Ijuststoodstaringathimlikeafool，untilIthoughthemustthinkmemad。Oh，AnnaGrigorievna，ifyoubutknewhowupsetIam！”
　　“Whatastrangeaffair！”commentedthehostess。“Whatonearthcanthemanhavemeantby'deadsouls'？Iconfessthatthewordspassmyunderstanding。Curiouslyenough，thisisthesecondtimeIhaveheardspeakofthosesouls。True，myhusbandaversthatNozdrevwaslying；
　　yetinhisliesthereseemstohavebeenagrainoftruth。“
　　“Well，justthinkofmystatewhenIheardallthis！'Andnow，'
　　apparentlysaidKorobotchkatotheArchpriest'swife，'Iamaltogetheratalosswhattodo，for，throwingmefifteenroubles，themanforcedmetosignaworthlesspaper——yes，me，aninexperienced，defencelesswidowwhoknowsnothingofbusiness。'Thatsuchthingsshouldhappen！
　　TRYandimaginemyfeelings！”
　　“Inmyopinion，thereisinthismorethanthedeadsoulswhichmeettheeye。“
　　“Ithinksotoo，“agreedtheother。Asamatteroffact，herfriend'sremarkhadstruckherwithcompletesurprise，aswellasfilledherwithcuriositytoknowwhattheword“more“mightpossiblysignify。Infact，shefeltdriventoinquire：“WhatdoYOUsupposetobehiddenbeneathitall？”
　　“No；tellmewhatYOUsuppose？”
　　“What_I_suppose？Iamatalosstoconjecture。“
　　“Yes，buttellmewhatisinyourmind？”
　　Uponthisthevisitorhadtoconfessherselfnonplussed；for，thoughcapableofgrowinghysterical，shewasincapableofpropoundinganyrationaltheory。Consequentlyshefeltthemorethatsheneededtendercomfortandadvice。
　　“ThenTHISiswhatIthinkaboutthedeadsouls，“saidthehostess。
　　Instantlytheguestprickedupherearsor，rather，theyprickedthemselvesupandstraightenedherselfandbecame，somehow，moremodish，and，despitehernotinconsiderableweight，posedherselftolooklikeapieceofthistledownfloatingonthebreeze。
　　“Thedeadsouls，“beganthehostess。
　　“Arewhat，arewhat？”inquiredtheguestingreatexcitement。
　　“Are，are——“
　　“Tellme，tellme，forheaven'ssake！”
　　“Theyareaninventiontoconcealsomethingelse。Theman'srealobjectis，is——TOABDUCTTHEGOVERNOR'SDAUGHTER。“
　　Sostartlingandunexpectedwasthisconclusionthattheguestsatreducedtoastateofpale，petrified，genuineamazement。
　　“MyGod！”shecried，clappingherhands，“IshouldNEVERhaveguessedit！”
　　“Well，totellyouthetruth，Iguesseditassoonaseveryouopenedyourmouth。“
　　“Somuch，then，foreducatinggirlsliketheGovernor'sdaughteratschool！Justseewhatcomesofit！”
　　“Yes，indeed！AndtheytellmethatshesaysthingswhichIhesitateeventorepeat。“
　　“Trulyitwringsone'shearttoseetowhatlengthsimmoralityhascome。“
　　“Someofthemenhavequitelosttheirheadsabouther，butformypartIthinkhernotworthnoticing。“
　　“Ofcourse。Andhermannersareunbearable。ButwhatpuzzlesmemostishowatravelledmanlikeChichikovcouldcometolethimselfinforsuchanaffair。Surelyhemusthaveaccomplices？”
　　“Yes；andIshouldsaythatoneofthoseaccomplicesisNozdrev。“
　　“Surelynot？”
　　“CERTAINLYIshouldsayso。Why，Ihaveknownhimeventrytosellhisownfather！Atalleventshestakedhimatcards。“
　　“Indeed？Youinterestme。Ishouldneverhadthoughthimcapableofsuchthings。“
　　“Ialwaysguessedhimtobeso。“
　　ThetwoladieswerestilldiscussingthematterwithacumenandsuccesswhentherewalkedintotheroomthePublicProsecutor——bushyeyebrows，motionlessfeatures，blinkingeyes，andall。Atoncetheladieshastenedtoinformhimoftheeventsrelated，adducingtherewithfulldetailsbothastothepurchaseofdeadsoulsandastotheschemetoabducttheGovernor'sdaughter；afterwhichtheydepartedindifferentdirections，forthepurposeofraisingtherestofthetown。Fortheexecutionofthisundertakingnotmorethanhalfanhourwasrequired。Sothoroughlydidtheysucceedinthrowingdustinthepublic'seyesthatforawhileeveryone——moreespeciallythearmyofpublicofficials——wasplacedinthepositionofaschoolboywho，whilestillasleep，hashadabagofpepperthrowninhisfacebyapartyofmoreearly-risingcomrades。Thequestionsnowtobedebatedresolvedthemselvesintotwo——namely，thequestionofthedeadsoulsandthequestionoftheGovernor'sdaughter。Tothisendtwopartieswereformed——themen'spartyandthefemininesection。Themen'sparty——themoreabsolutelysenselessofthetwo——devoteditsattentiontothedeadsouls：thewomen'spartyoccupieditselfexclusivelywiththeallegedabductionoftheGovernor'sdaughter。Andhereitmaybesaidtotheladies'creditthatthewomen'spartydisplayedfarmoremethodandcautionthandiditsrivalfaction，probablybecausethefunctioninlifeofitsmembershadalwaysbeenthatofmanagingandadministeringahousehold。Withtheladies，therefore，matterssoonassumedvividanddefiniteshape；theybecameclearlyandirrefutablymaterialised；theystoodstrippedofalldoubtandotherimpedimenta。
　　Saidsomeoftheladiesinquestion，Chichikovhadlongbeeninlovewiththemaiden，andthepairhadkepttrystbythelightofthemoon，whiletheGovernorwouldhavegivenhisconsentseeingthatChichikovwasasrichasaJewbutfortheobstaclethatChichikovhaddesertedawifealreadyhowtheworthydamescametoknowthathewasmarriedremainsamystery，andthesaiddesertedwife，piningwithloveforherfaithlesshusband，hadsenttheGovernoraletterofthemosttouchingkind，sothatChichikov，onperceivingthatthefatherandmotherwouldnevergivetheirconsent，haddecidedtoabductthegirl。
　　Inothercirclesthematterwasstatedinadifferentway。Thatistosay，thissectionaverredthatChichikovdidNOTpossessawife，butthat，asamanofsubtletyandexperience，hehadbethoughthimofobtainingthedaughter'shandthroughtheexpedientoffirsttacklingthemotherandcarryingonwithheranardentliaison，andthat，thereafter，hehadmadeanapplicationforthedesiredhand，butthatthemother，fearingtocommitasinagainstreligion，andfeelinginherheartcertaingnawingsofconscience，hadreturnedablankrefusaltoChichikov'srequest；whereuponChichikovhaddecidedtocarryouttheabductionalleged。Totheforegoing，ofcourse，therebecameappendedvariousadditionalproofsanditemsofevidence，inproportionasthesensationspreadtomoreremotecornersofthetown。
　　Atlength，withtheseperfectings，theaffairreachedtheearsoftheGovernor'swifeherself。Naturally，asthemotherofafamily，andasthefirstladyinthetown，andasamatronwhohadneverbeforebeensuspectedofthingsofthekind，shewashighlyoffendedwhensheheardthestories，andveryjustlyso：withtheresultthatherpooryoungdaughter，thoughinnocent，hadtoendureaboutasunpleasantatete-a-teteaseverbefellamaidenofsixteen，while，forhispart，theSwissfootmanreceivedordersneveratanytimetoadmitChichikovtothehouse。
　　HavingdonetheirbusinesswiththeGovernor'swife，theladies'partydescendeduponthemalesection，withaviewtoinfluencingittotheirownsidebyassertingthatthedeadsoulswereaninventionusedsolelyforthepurposeofdivertingsuspicionandsuccessfullyaffectingtheabduction。And，indeed，morethanonemanwasconverted，andjoinedthefemininecamp，inspiteofthefactthattherebysuchsecedersincurredstrongnamesfromtheirlatecomrades——namessuchas“oldwomen，““petticoats，“andothersofanaturepeculiarlyoffensivetothemalesex。