LovehadmadeCatherinemakeeachlover'sfortune，Unlikeourownhalf-chasteElizabeth，Whoseavaricealldisbursementsdidimportune，Ifhistory，thegrandliar，eversaithThetruth；andthoughgriefheroldagemightshorten，Becausesheputafavouritetodeath，Hervile，ambiguousmethodofflirtation，Andstinginess，disgracehersexandstation。
　　Butwhentheleveerose，andallwasbustleInthedissolvingcircle，allthenations'
　　Ambassadorsbeganas'tweretohustleRoundtheyoungmanwiththeircongratulations。
　　AlsothesoftersilkswereheardtorustleOfgentledames，amongwhoserecreationsItistospeculateonhandsomefaces，Especiallywhensuchleadtohighplaces。
　　Juan，whofoundhimself，heknewnothow，Ageneralobjectofattention，madeHisanswerswithaverygracefulbow，Asifbornfortheministerialtrade。
　　Thoughmodest，onhisunembarrass'dbrowNaturehadwritten'gentleman。'HesaidLittle，buttothepurpose；andhismannerFlunghoveringgraceso'erhimlikeabanner。
　　Anorderfromhermajestyconsign'dOuryounglieutenanttothegenialcareOfthoseinoffice：alltheworldlook'dkindAsitwilllooksometimeswiththefirststare，Whichyouthwouldnotactilltokeepinmind，AsalsodidMissProtasoffthenthere，Namedfromhermysticoffice'l'Eprouveuse，'
　　AterminexplicabletotheMuse。
　　Withherthen，asinhumbledutybound，Juanretired，-andsowillI，untilMyPegasusshalltireoftouchingground。
　　Wehavejustlitona'heaven-kissinghill，'
　　SoloftythatIfeelmybrainturnround，Andallmyfancieswhirlinglikeamill；
　　Whichisasignaltomynervesandbrain，TotakeaquietrideinsomegreenLane。
　　CANTOTHETENTH。
　　WHENNewtonsawanapplefall，hefoundInthatslightstartlefromhiscontemplation-
　　'TissaidforI'llnotanswerabovegroundForanysage'screedorcalculation-
　　Amodeofprovingthattheearthturn'droundInamostnaturalwhirl，called'gravitation；'
　　Andthisisthesolemortalwhocouldgrapple，SinceAdam，withafallorwithanapple。
　　Manfellwithapples，andwithapplesrose，Ifthisbetrue；forwemustdeemthemodeInwhichSirIsaacNewtoncoulddiscloseThroughthethenunpavedstarstheturnpikeroad，Athingtocounterbalancehumanwoes：
　　Foreversinceimmortalmanhathglow'dWithallkindsofmechanics，andfullsoonSteam-engineswillconducthimtothemoon。
　　Andwhereforethisexordium？-Why，justnow，Intakingupthispaltrysheetofpaper，Mybosomunderwentagloriousglow，Andmyinternalspiritcutacaper：
　　Andthoughsomuchinferior，asIknow，Tothosewho，bythedintofglassandvapour，Discoverstarsandsailinthewind'seye，Iwishtodoasmuchbypoesy。
　　Inthewind'seyeIhavesail'd，andsail；butforThestars，Iownmytelescopeisdim：
　　ButatleastIhaveshunn'dthecommonshore，Andleavinglandfaroutofsight，wouldskimTheoceanofeternity：theroarOfbreakershasnotdauntedmyslight，trim，Butstillsea-worthyskiff；andshemayfloatWhereshipshavefounder'd，asdothmanyaboat。
　　Weleftourhero，Juan，inthebloomOffavouritism，butnotyetintheblush；
　　AndfarbeitfrommyMusestopresumeForIhavemorethanoneMuseatapush
　　Tofollowhimbeyondthedrawing-room：
　　ItisenoughthatFortunefoundhimflushOfyouth，andvigour，beauty，andthosethingsWhichforaninstantclipenjoyment'swings。
　　Butsoontheygrowagainandleavetheirnest。
　　'Oh！'saiththePsalmist，'thatIhadadove'sPinionstofleeaway，andbeatrest！'
　　Andwhothatrecollectsyoungyearsandloves，-
　　Thoughhoarynow，andwithawitheringbreast，Andpalsiedfancy，whichnolongerrovesBeyonditsdimm'deye'ssphere，-butwouldmuchratherSighlikehisson，thancoughlikehisgrandfather？
　　Butsighssubside，andtearsevenwidows'shrink，LikeArnointhesummer，toashallow，Sonarrowastoshametheirwintrybrink，Whichthreatensinundationsdeepandyellow！
　　Suchdifferencedothafewmonthsmake。You'dthinkGriefarichfieldwhichneverwouldliefallow；
　　Nomoreitdoth，itsploughsbutchangetheirboys，Whofurrowsomenewsoiltosowforjoys。
　　Butcoughswillcomewhensighsdepart-andnowAndthenbeforesighscease；forofttheoneWillbringtheother，erethelake-likebrowIsruffledbyawrinkle，orthesunOflifereach'dteno'clock：andwhileaglow，Hecticandbriefassummer'sdaynighdone，O'erspreadsthecheekwhichseemstoopureforclay，Thousandsblaze，love，hope，die，-howhappythey！
　　ButJuanwasnotmeanttodiesosoon。
　　WelefthiminthefocusofsuchgloryAsmaybewonbyfavourofthemoonOrladies'fancies-rathertransitoryPerhaps；butwhowouldscornthemonthofJune，BecauseDecember，withhisbreathsohoary，Mustcome？Muchrathershouldhecourttheray，Tohoardupwarmthagainstawintryday。
　　Besides，hehadsomequalitieswhichfixMiddle-agedladiesevenmorethanyoung：
　　Theformerknowwhat'swhat；whilenew-fledgedchicksKnowlittlemoreoflovethanwhatissungInrhymes，ordreamtforfancywillplaytricks
　　InvisionsofthoseskiesfromwhenceLovesprung。
　　Somereckonwomenbytheirsunsoryears，Iratherthinkthemoonshoulddatethedears。
　　Andwhy？becauseshe'schangeableandchaste。
　　Iknownootherreason，whatsoe'erSuspiciouspeople，whofindfaultinhaste，Maychoosetotaxmewith；whichisnotfair，Norflatteringto'theirtemperortheirtaste，'
　　AsmyfriendJeffreywriteswithsuchanair：
　　However，Iforgivehim，andItrustHewillforgivehimself；-ifnot，Imust。
　　OldenemieswhohavebecomenewfriendsShouldsocontinue-'tisapointofhonour；
　　AndIknownothingwhichcouldmakeamendsForareturntohatred：IwouldshunherLikegarlic，howsoeversheextendsHerhundredarmsandlegs，andfainoutrunher。
　　Oldflames，newwives，becomeourbitterestfoes-
　　Convertedfoesshouldscorntojoinwiththose。
　　Thisweretheworstdesertion：-renegadoes，EvenshufflingSouthey，thatincarnatelie，Wouldscarcelyjoinagainthe'reformadoes，'
　　Whomheforsooktofillthelaureate'ssty：
　　AndhonestmenfromIcelandtoBarbadoes，WhetherinCaledonorItaly，Shouldnotveerroundwitheverybreath，norseizeTopain，themomentwhenyouceasetoplease。
　　ThelawyerandthecriticbutbeholdThebasersidesofliteratureandlife，Andnoughtremainsunseen，butmuchuntold，Bythosewhoscourthosedoublevalesofstrife。
　　Whilecommonmengrowignorantlyold，Thelawyer'sbriefislikethesurgeon'sknife，Dissectingthewholeinsideofaquestion，Andwithitalltheprocessofdigestion。
　　Alegalbroom'samoralchimney-sweeper，Andthat'sthereasonhehimself'ssodirty；
　　TheendlesssootbestowsatintfardeeperThancanbehidbyalteringhisshirt；heRetainsthesablestainsofthedarkcreeper，Atleastsometwenty-ninedooutofthirty，Inalltheirhabits；-notsoyou，Iown；
　　AsCaesarworehisrobeyouwearyourgown。
　　Andallourlittlefeuds，atleastallmine，DearJefferson，oncemymostredoubtedfoeAsfarasrhymeandcriticismcombineTomakesuchpuppetsofusthingsbelow，Areover：Here'sahealthto'AuldLangSyne！'
　　Idonotknowyou，andmayneverknowYourface-butyouhaveactedonthewholeMostnobly，andIownitfrommysoul。
　　AndwhenIusethephraseof'AuldLangSyne！'
　　'Tisnotaddress'dtoyou-themore'sthepityForme，forIwouldrathertakemywineWithyou，thanaughtsaveScottinyourproudcity。
　　Butsomehow，-itmayseemaschoolboy'swhine，AndyetIseeknottobegrandnorwitty，ButIamhalfaScotbybirth，andbredAwholeone，andmyheartfliestomyhead，-
　　As'AuldLangSyne'bringsScotland，oneandall，Scotchplaids，Scotchsnoods，thebluehills，andclearstreams，TheDee，theDon，Balgounie'sbrig'sblackwall，Allmyboyfeelings，allmygentlerdreamsOfwhatIthendreamt，clothedintheirownpall，LikeBanquo'soffspring；-floatingpastmeseemsMychildhoodinthischildishnessofmine：
　　Icarenot-'tisaglimpseof'AuldLangSyne。'
　　Andthough，asyouremember，inafitOfwrathandrhyme，whenjuvenileandcurly，Irail'datScotstoshowmywrathandwit，Whichmustbeown'dwassensitiveandsurly，Yet'tisinvainsuchsalliestopermit，Theycannotquenchyoungfeelingsfreshandearly：
　　I'scotch'dnotkill'd'theScotchmaninmyblood，Andlovethelandof'mountainandofflood。'
　　DonJuan，whowasreal，orideal，-
　　Forbotharemuchthesame，sincewhatmenthinkExistswhentheoncethinkersarelessrealThanwhattheythought，formindcanneversink，And'gainstthebodymakesastrongappeal；
　　Andyet'tisverypuzzlingonthebrinkOfwhatiscall'deternity，tostare，Andknownomoreofwhatishere，thanthere；-
　　DonJuangrewaverypolish'dRussian-
　　Howwewon'tmention，whyweneednotsay：
　　FewyouthfulmindscanstandthestrongconcussionOfanyslighttemptationintheirway；
　　ButhisjustnowwerespreadasisacushionSmooth'dforamonarch'sseatofhonour；gayDamsels，anddances，revels，readymoney，Madeiceseemparadise，andwintersunny。
　　Thefavouroftheempresswasagreeable；
　　Andthoughthedutywax'dalittlehard，YoungpeopleathistimeoflifeshouldbeableTocomeoffhandsomelyinthatregard。
　　Hewasnowgrowinguplikeagreentree，ableForlove，war，orambition，whichrewardTheirluckiervotaries，tilloldage'stediumMakesomepreferthecirculatingmedium。
　　Aboutthistime，asmighthavebeenanticipated，Seducedbyyouthanddangerousexamples，DonJuangrew，Ifear，alittledissipated；
　　Whichisasadthing，andnotonlytramplesOnourfreshfeelings，but-asbeingparticipatedWithallkindsofincorrigiblesamplesOffrailhumanity-mustmakeusselfish，Andshutoursoulsupinuslikeashell-fish。
　　Thiswepassover。WewillalsopassTheusualprogressofintriguesbetweenUnequalmatches，suchasare，alas！
　　Ayounglieutenant'swithanotoldqueen，ButonewhoisnotsoyouthfulasshewasInalltheroyaltyofsweetseventeen。
　　Sovereignsmayswaymaterials，butnotmatter，AndDeath，thesovereign'ssovereign，thoughthegreatGracchusofallmortality，wholevelsWithhisAgrarianlawsthehighestateOfhimwhofeasts，andfights，androars，andrevels，Toonesmallgrass-grownpatchwhichmustawaitCorruptionforitscropwiththepoordevilsWhoneverhadafootoflandtillnow，-
　　Death'sareformer，allmenmustallow。
　　HelivednotDeath，butJuaninahurryOfwaste，andhaste，andglare，andgloss，andglitter，Inthisgayclimeofbear-skinsblackandfurry-
　　WhichthoughIhatetosayathingthat'sbitter
　　Peepoutsometimes，whenthingsareinaflurry，Throughallthe'purpleandfinelinen，'fitterForBabylon'sthanRussia'sroyalharlot-
　　Andneutralizeheroutwardshowofscarlet。
　　Andthissamestatewewon'tdescribe：wewouldPerhapsfromhearsay，orfromrecollection；
　　ButgettingnighgrimDante's'obscurewood，'
　　Thathorridequinox，thathatefulsectionOfhumanyears，thathalf-wayhouse，thatrudeHut，whencewisetravellersdrivewithcircumspectionLife'ssadpost-horseso'erthedrearyfrontierOfage，andlookingbacktoyouth，giveonetear；-
　　Iwon'tdescribe，-thatis，ifIcanhelpDescription；andIwon'treflect，-thatis，IfIcanstaveoffthought，which-asawhelpClingstoitsteat-stickstomethroughtheabyssOfthisoddlabyrinth；orasthekelpHoldsbytherock；orasalover'skissDrainsitsfirstdraughtoflips：-but，asIsaid，Iwon'tphilosophise，andwillberead。
　　Juan，insteadofcourtingcourts，wascourted，-
　　Athingwhichhappensrarely：thisheowedMuchtohisyouth，andmuchtohisreportedValour；muchalsotothebloodheshow'd，Likearace-horse；muchtoeachdresshesported，Whichsetthebeautyoffinwhichheglow'd，Aspurplecloudsbefringethesun；butmostHeowedtoanoldwomanandhispost。
　　HewrotetoSpain：-andallhisnearrelations，PerceivingfiewasinahandsomewayOfgettingonhimself，andfindingstationsForcousinsalso，answer'dthesameday。
　　Severalpreparedthemselvesforemigrations；
　　Andeatingices，wereo'erheardtosay，Thatwiththeadditionofaslightpelisse，Madrid'sandMoscow'sclimeswereofapiece。
　　Hismother，DonnaInez，finding，too，Thatinthelieuofdrawingonhisbanker，Wherehisassetswerewaxingratherfew，Hehadbroughthisspendingtoahandsomeanchor，-
　　Replied，'thatshewasgladtoseehimthroughThosepleasuresafterwhichwildyouthwillhanker；
　　Asthesolesignofman'sbeinginhissensesIs，learningtoreducehispastexpenses。
　　'ShealsorecommendedhimtoGod，AndnolesstoGod'sSon，aswellasMother，Warn'dhimagainstGreekworship，whichlooksoddInCatholiceyes；buttoldhim，too，tosmotherOutwarddislike，whichdon'tlookwellabroad；
　　Inform'dhimthathehadalittlebrotherBorninasecondwedlock；andaboveAll，praisedtheempress'smaternallove。
　　'ShecouldnottoomuchgiveherapprobationUntoanempress，whopreferr'dyoungmenWhoseage，andwhatwasbetterstill，whosenationAndclimate，stopp'dallscandalnowandthen：-
　　Athomeitmighthavegivenhersomevexation；
　　Butwherethermometerssunkdowntoten，Orfive，orone，orzero，shecouldneverBelievethatvirtuethaw'dbeforetheriver。'
　　Ohforaforty-parsonpowertochantThypraise，Hypocrisy！OhforahymnLoudasthevirtuesthoudostloudlyvaunt，Notpractise！Ohfortrumpsofcherubim！
　　Ortheear-trumpetofmygoodoldaunt，Who，thoughherspectaclesatlastgrewdim，Drewquietconsolationthroughitshint，Whenshenomorecouldreadthepiousprint。
　　Shewasnohypocriteatleast，poorsoul，ButwenttoheaveninassincereawayAsanybodyontheelectedroll，WhichportionsoutuponthejudgmentdayHeaven'sfreeholds，inasortofdoomsdayscroll，SuchastheconquerorWilliamdidrepayHisknightswith，lottingothers'propertiesIntosomesixtythousandnewknights'fees。
　　Ican'tcomplain，whoseancestorsarethere，Erneis，Radulphus-eight-and-fortymanorsIfthatmymemorydothnotgreatlyerr
　　WeretheirrewardforfollowingBilly'sbanners：
　　AndthoughIcan'thelpthinking'twasscarcefairTostriptheSaxonsoftheirhydes，liketanners；
　　Yetastheyfoundedchurcheswiththeproduce，You'lldeem，nodoubt，theyputittoagooduse。
　　ThegentleJuanflourish'd，thoughattimesHefeltlikeotherplantscalledsensitive，Whichshrinkfromtouch，asmonarchsdofromrhymes，SavesuchasSoutheycanaffordtogive。
　　Perhapshelong'dinbitterfrostsforclimesInwhichtheNeva'sicewouldceasetoliveBeforeMay-day：perhaps，despitehisduty，Inroyalty'svastarmshesighdforbeauty：
　　Perhaps-but，sansperhaps，weneednotseekForcausesyoungorold：thecanker-wormWillfeeduponthefairest，freshestcheek，Aswellasfurtherdrainthewither'dform：
　　Care，likeahousekeeper，bringseveryweekHisbillsin，andhoweverwemaystorm，Theymustbepaid：thoughsixdayssmoothlyrun，Theseventhwillbringbluedevilsoradun。
　　Idon'tknowhowitwas，buthegrewsick：
　　Theempresswasalarm'd，andherphysicianThesamewhophysick'dPeterfoundthetickOfhisfiercepulsebetokenaconditionWhichaugur'dofthedead，howeverquickItself，andshow'dafeverishdisposition；
　　Atwhichthewholecourtwasextremelytroubled，Thesovereignshock'd，andallhismedicinesdoubled。
　　Lowwerethewhispers，manifoldtherumours：
　　Somesaidhehadbeenpoison'dbyPotemkin；
　　Otherstalk'dlearnedlyofcertaintumours，Exhaustion，ordisordersofthesamekin；
　　Somesaid'twasaconcoctionofthehumours，Whichwiththebloodtooreadilywillclaimkin；
　　Othersagainwerereadytomaintain，''Twasonlythefatigueoflastcampaign。'
　　Buthereisoneprescriptionoutofmany：
　　'Sodaesulphat。3vj。3fs。Mannaeoptim。
　　Aq。fervent。f。3ifs。3ij。tinct。SennaeHaustus'Andherethesurgeoncameandcupp'dhim
　　'RxPulvComgr。iij。Ipecacuanhae'
　　WithmorebesideifJuanhadnotstopp'd'em。
　　'BolusPotassaeSulphuret。sumendus，Ethaustusterindiecapiendus。'
　　Thisisthewayphysiciansmendorendus，Secundumartem：butalthoughwesneerInhealth-whenill，wecallthemtoattendus，Withouttheleastpropensitytojeer：
　　Whilethat'hiatusmaximedeflendus'
　　Tobefill'dupbyspadeormattock'snear，InsteadofglidinggraciouslydownLethe，WeteasemildBaillie，orsoftAbernethy。
　　Juandemurr'datthisfirstnoticetoQuit；andthoughdeathhadthreaten'danejection，Hisyouthandconstitutionborehimthrough，Andsentthedoctorsinanewdirection。
　　Butstillhisstatewasdelicate：thehueOfhealthbutflicker'dwithafaintreflectionAlonghiswastedcheek，andseem'dtogravelThefaculty-whosaidthathemusttravel。
　　Theclimatewastoocold，theysaid，forhim，Meridian-born，tobloomin。ThisopinionMadethechasteCatherinelookalittlegrim，Whodidnotlikeatfirsttoloseherminion：
　　Butwhenshesawhisdazzlingeyewaxdim，Anddroopinglikeaneagle'swithcliptpinion，Shethenresolvedtosendhimonamission，Butinastylebecominghiscondition。
　　Therewasjustthenakindofadiscussion，AsortoftreatyornegotiationBetweentheBritishcabinetandRussian，Maintain'dwithallthedueprevaricationWithwhichgreatstatessuchthingsareapttopushon；
　　SomethingabouttheBaltic'snavigation，Hides，train-oil，tallow，andtherightsofThetis，WhichBritonsdeemtheir'utipossidetis。'
　　SoCatherine，whohadahandsomewayOffittingoutherfavourites，conferr'dThissecretchargeonJuan，todisplayAtonceherroyalsplendour，andrewardHisservices。Hekiss'dhandsthenextday，Receivedinstructionshowtoplayhiscard，Wasladenwithallkindsofgiftsandhonours，Whichshow'dwhatgreatdiscernmentwasthedonor's。
　　Butshewaslucky，andluck'sall。YourqueensAregenerallyprosperousinreigning；
　　WhichpuzzlesustoknowwhatFortunemeans。
　　Buttocontinue：thoughheryearswerewaningHerclimactericteasedherlikeherteens；
　　Andthoughherdignitybrook'dnocomplaining，SomuchdidJuan'ssettingoffdistressher，Shecouldnotfindatfirstafitsuccessor。
　　Buttime，thecomforter，willcomeatlast；
　　Andfour-and-twentyhours，andtwicethatnumberOfcandidatesrequestingtobeplaced，MadeCatherinetastenextnightaquietslumber：-
　　Notthatshemeanttofixagaininhaste，Nordidshefindthequantityencumber，Butalwayschoosingwithdeliberation，Kepttheplaceopenfortheiremulation。
　　Whilethishighpostofhonour'sinabeyance，Foroneortwodays，reader，werequestYou'llmountwithouryoungherotheconveyanceWhichwaftedhimfromPetersburgh：thebestBarouche，whichhadtheglorytodisplayonceThefairczarina'sautocraticcrest，When，anewlphigene，shewenttoTauris，Wasgiventoherfavourite，andnowborehis。
　　Abull-dog，andabullfinch，andanermine，AllprivatefavouritesofDonJuan；-forLetdeepersagesthetruecausedetermine
　　Hehadakindofinclination，orWeakness，forwhatmostpeopledeemmerevermin，Liveanimals：anoldmaidofthreescoreForcatsandbirdsmorepenchantne'erdisplay'd，Althoughhewasnotold，norevenamaid；-
　　TheanimalsaforesaidoccupiedTheirstation：therewerevalets，secretaries，Inothervehicles；butathissideSatlittleLeila，whosurvivedtheparriesHemade'gainstCossacquesabres，inthewideSlaughterofIsmail。ThoughmywildMusevariesHernote，shedon'tforgettheinfantgirlWhomhepreserved，apureandlivingpearlPoorlittlething！Shewasasfairasdocile，Andwiththatgentle，seriouscharacter，AsrareinlivingbeingsasafossileMan，'midstthymouldymammoths，'grandCuvier！'
　　IllfittedwasherignorancetojostleWiththiso'erwhelmingworld，whereallmusterr：
　　Butshewasyetbuttenyearsold，andthereforeWastranquil，thoughsheknewnotwhyorwherefore。
　　DonJuanlovedher，andshelovedhim，asNorbrother，father，sister，daughterlove。
　　Icannottellexactlywhatitwas；
　　HewasnotyetquiteoldenoughtoproveParentalfeelings，andtheotherclass，Call'dbrotherlyaffection，couldnotmoveHisbosom，-forheneverhadasister：
　　Ah！ifhehad，howmuchhewouldhavemiss'dher！
　　Andstilllesswasitsensual；forbesidesThathewasnotanancientdebaucheeWholikesourfruit，tostirtheirveins'salttides，Asacidsrouseadormantalkali，Although'twillhappenasourplanetguides
　　Hisyouthwasnotthechastestthatmightbe，TherewasthepurestPlatonismatbottomOfallhisfeelings-onlyheforgot'em。
　　Justnowtherewasnoperiloftemptation；
　　Helovedtheinfantorphanhehadsaved，Aspatriotsnowandthenmayloveanation；
　　Hispride，too，feltthatshewasnotenslavedOwingtohim；-asalsohersalvationThroughhismeansandthechurch'smightbepaved。
　　Butonething'sodd，whichheremustbeinserted，ThelittleTurkrefusedtobeconverted。
　　'TwasstrangeenoughsheshouldretaintheimpressionThroughsuchasceneofchange，anddread，andslaughter；
　　Butthoughthreebishopstoldherthetransgression，Sheshow'dagreatdisliketoholywater：
　　Shealsohadnopassionforconfession；
　　Perhapsshehadnothingtoconfess：-nomatter，Whate'erthecause，thechurchmadelittleofit-
　　ShestillheldoutthatMahometwasaprophet。
　　Infact，theonlyChristianshecouldbearWasJuan；whomsheseem'dtohaveselectedInplaceofwhatherhomeandfriendsoncewere。
　　Henaturallylovedwhatheprotected：
　　Andthustheyform'darathercuriouspair，Aguardiangreeninyears，awardconnectedInneitherclime，time，blood，withherdefender；
　　Andyetthiswantoftiesmadetheirsmoretender。
　　Theyjourney'donthroughPolandandthroughWarsaw，Famousforminesofsaltandyokesofiron：
　　ThroughCourlandalso，whichthatfamousfarcesawWhichgaveherdukesthegracelessnameof'Biron。'
　　'TisthesamelandscapewhichthemodernMarssaw，Whomarch'dtoMoscow，ledbyFame，thesiren！
　　Tolosebyonemonth'sfrostsometwentyyearsOfconquest，andhisguardofgrenadiers。
　　Letthisnotseemananti-climax：-'Oh！
　　Myguard！myoldguardexclaim'd！'exclaim'dthatgodofday。
　　ThinkoftheThunderer'sfallingdownbelowCarotid-artery-cuttingCastlereagh！
　　Alas，thatgloryshouldbechill'dbysnow！
　　ButshouldwewishtowarmusonourwayThroughPoland，thereisKosciusko'snameMightscatterfirethroughice，likeHecla'sflame。
　　FromPolandtheycameonthroughPrussiaProper，AndKonigsbergthecapital，whosevaunt，Besidessomeveinsofiron，lead，orcopper，HaslatelybeenthegreatProfessorKant。
　　Juan，whocarednotatobacco-stopperAboutphilosophy，pursuedhisjauntToGermany，whosesomewhattardymillionsHaveprinceswhospurmorethantheirpostilions。
　　AndthencethroughBerlin，Dresden，andthelike，Untilhereach'dthecastellatedRhine：-
　　YegloriousGothicscenes！howmuchyestrikeAllphantasies，notevenexceptingmine；
　　Agreywall，agreenruin，rustypike，MakemysoulpasstheequinoctiallineBetweenthepresentandpastworlds，andhoverUpontheirairyconfine，half-seas-over。
　　ButJuanpostedonthroughManheim，Bonn，WhichDrachenfelsfrownsoverlikeaspectreOfthegoodfeudaltimesforevergone，OnwhichIhavenottimejustnowtolecture。
　　FromthencehewasdrawnonwardstoCologne，AcitywhichpresentstotheinspectorEleventhousandmaidenheadsofbone，Thegreatestnumberfleshhatheverknown。
　　FromthencetoHolland'sHagueandHelvoetsluys，Thatwater-landofDutchmenandofditches，Wherejuniperexpressesitsbestjuice，Thepoorman'ssparklingsubstituteforriches。
　　Senatesandsageshavecondemn'ditsuse-
　　Buttodenythemobacordial，whichisToooftenalltheclothing，meat，orfuel，Goodgovernmenthasleftthem，seemsbutcruel。
　　Hereheembark'd，andwithaflowingsailWentboundingfortheislandofthefree，Towardswhichtheimpatientwindblewhalfagale；
　　Highdash'dthespray，thebowsdipp'dinthesea，Andsea-sickpassengersturn'dsomewhatpale；
　　ButJuan，season'd，ashewellmightbe，Byformervoyages，stoodtowatchtheskiffsWhichpass'd，orcatchthefirstglimpseofthecliffs。
　　Atlengththeyrose，likeawhitewallalongThebluesea'sborder；andIDonJuanfelt-
　　WhatevenyoungstrangersfeelalittlestrongAtthefirstsightofAlbion'schalkybelt-
　　AkindofpridethatheshouldbeamongThosehaughtyshopkeepers，whosternlydealtTheirgoodsandedictsoutfrompoletopole，Andmadetheverybillowspaythemtoll。
　　I'venogreatcausetolovethatspotofearth，Whichholdswhatmighthavebeenthenoblestnation；
　　ButthoughIoweitlittlebutmybirth，Ifeelamix'dregretandvenerationForitsdecayingfameandformerworth。
　　Sevenyearstheusualtermoftransportation
　　Ofabsencelayone'soldresentmentslevel，Whenaman'scountry'sgoingtothedevil。
　　Alas！couldshebutfully，truly，knowHowhergreatnameisnowthroughoutabhorr'd：
　　HoweageralltheearthisfortheblowWhichshalllaybareherbosomtothesword；
　　Howallthenationsdeemhertheirworstfoe，Thatworsethanworstoffoes，theonceadoredFalsefriend，whoheldoutfreedomtomankind，Andnowwouldchainthem，totheverymind：-
　　Wouldshebeproud，orboastherselfthefree，Whoisbutfirstofslaves？ThenationsareInprison，-butthegaoler，whatishe？
　　Nolessavictimtotheboltandbar。
　　IsthepoorprivilegetoturnthekeyUponthecaptive，freedom？He'sasfarFromtheenjoymentoftheearthandairWhowatcheso'erthechain，astheywhowear。
　　DonJuannowsawAlbion'searliestbeauties，Thycliffs，dearDover！harbour，andhotel；
　　Thycustom-house，withallitsdelicateduties；
　　Thywaitersrunningmucksateverybell；
　　Thypackets，allwhosepassengersarebootiesTothosewhouponlandorwaterdwell；
　　Andlast，notleast，tostrangersuninstructed，Thylong，longbills，whencenothingisdeducted。
　　Juan，thoughcareless，young，andmagnifique，Andrichinrubles，diamonds，cash，andcredit，Whodidnotlimitmuchhisbillsperweek，Yetstaredatthisalittle，thoughhepaiditHisMaggiorDuomo，asmart，subtleGreek，Beforehimsumm'dtheawfulscrollandreadit；
　　Butdoubtlessastheair，thoughseldomsunny，Isfree，therespiration'sworththemoney。
　　Onwiththehorses！OfftoCanterbury！
　　Tramp，trampo'erpebble，andsplash，splashthroughpuddle；
　　Hurrah！howswiftlyspeedsthepostsomerry！
　　NotlikeslowGermany，whereintheymuddleAlongtheroad，asiftheywenttoburyTheirfare；andalsopausebesides，tofuddleWith'schnapps'-saddogs！whom'Hundsfot，'or'Verflucter，'
　　Affectnomorethanlightningaconductor。
　　Nowthereisnothinggivesamansuchspirits，Leaveninghisbloodascayennedothacurry，Asgoingatfullspeed-nomatterwhereitsDirectionbe，so'tisbutinahurry，Andmerelyforthesakeofitsownmerits；
　　Forthelesscausethereisforallthisflurry，ThegreateristhepleasureinarrivingAtthegreatendoftravel-whichisdriving。
　　TheysawatCanterburythecathedral；
　　BlackEdward'shelm，andBecket'sbloodystone，Werepointedoutasusualbythebedral，Inthesamequaint，uninterestedtone：-
　　There'sgloryagainforyou，gentlereader！AllEndsinarustycasqueanddubiousbone，Half-solvedintothesesodasormagnesias；
　　Whichformthatbitterdraught，thehumanspecies。
　　TheeffectonJuanwasofcoursesublime：
　　HebreathedathousandCressys，ashesawThatcasque，whichneverstoop'dexcepttoTime。
　　EventheboldChurchman'stombexcitedawe，WhodiedinthethengreatattempttoclimbO'erkings，whonowatleastmusttalkoflawBeforetheybutcher。LittleLeilagazed，Andask'dwhysuchastructurehadbeenraised：
　　Andbeingtolditwas'God'shouse，'shesaidHewaswelllodged，butonlywonder'dhowHesuffer'dInfidelsinhishomestead，ThecruelNazarenes，whohadlaidlowHisholytemplesinthelandswhichbredTheTrueBelievers：-andherinfantbrowWasbentwithgriefthatMahometshouldresignAmosquesonoble，flunglikepearlstoswine。
　　Oh！oh！throughmeadowsmanagedlikeagarden，Aparadiseofhopsandhighproduction；
　　ForafteryearsoftravelbyabardinCountriesofgreaterheat，butlessersuction，AgreenfieldisasightwhichmakeshimpardonTheabsenceofthatmoresublimeconstruction，Whichmixesupvines，olives，precipices，Glaciers，volcanos，oranges，andices。
　　AndwhenIthinkuponapotofbeer-
　　ButIwon'tweep！-andsodriveon，postilions！
　　Asthesmartboysspurr'dfastintheircareer，Juanadmiredthesehighwaysoffreemillions；
　　AcountryinallsensesthemostdearToforeignerornative，savesomesillyones，Who'kickagainstthepricks'justatthisjuncture，Andfortheirpainsgetonlyafreshpuncture。
　　Whatadelightfulthing'saturnpikeroad！
　　Sosmooth，solevel，suchamodeofshavingTheearth，asscarcetheeagleinthebroadAircanaccomplish，withhiswidewingswaving。
　　HadsuchbeencutinPhaeton'stime，thegodHadtoldhissontosatisfyhiscravingWiththeYorkmail；-butonwardasweroll，'Surgitamarialiquid'-thetollAlas，howdeeplypainfulisallpayment！
　　Takelives，takewives，takeaughtexceptmen'spurses：
　　AsMachiavelshowsthoseinpurpleraiment，Suchistheshortestwaytogeneralcurses。
　　TheyhateamurderermuchlessthanaclaimantOnthatsweetorewhicheverybodynurses；-
　　Killaman'sfamily，andhemaybrookit，Butkeepyourhandsoutofhisbreeches'pocket。
　　SosaidtheFlorentine：yemonarchs，hearkenToyourinstructor。Juannowwasborne，Justasthedaybegantowaneanddarken，O'erthehighhill，whichlookswithprideorscornTowardthegreatcity-YewhohaveasparkinYourveinsofCockneyspirit，smileormournAccordingasyoutakethingswellorill；-
　　BoldBritons，wearenowonShooter'sHill！
　　Thesunwentdown，thesmokeroseup，asfromAhalf-unquench'dvolcano，o'eraspaceWhichwellbeseem'dthe'Devil'sdrawing-room，'
　　Assomehavequalifiedthatwondrousplace：
　　ButJuanfelt，thoughnotapproachinghome，Asonewho，thoughhewerenotoftherace，Reveredthesoil，ofthosetruesonsthemother，Whobutcher'dhalftheearth，andbulliedt'other。
　　Amightymassofbrick，andsmoke，andshipping，Dirtyanddusky，butaswideaseyeCouldreach，withhereandthereasailjustskippingInsight，thenlostamidsttheforestryOfmasts；awildernessofsteeplespeepingOntiptoethroughtheirsea-coalcanopy；
　　Ahuge，duncupola，likeafoolscapcrownOnafool'shead-andthereisLondonTown！
　　ButJuansawnotthis：eachwreathofsmokeAppear'dtohimbutasthemagicvapourOfsomealchymicfurnace，fromwhencebrokeThewealthofworldsawealthoftaxandpaper：
　　Thegloomyclouds，whicho'eritasayokeArebow'd，andputthesunoutlikeataper，Werenothingbutthenaturalatmosphere，Extremelywholesome，thoughbutrarelyclear。
　　Hepaused-andsowillI；asdothacrewBeforetheygivetheirbroadside。Byandby，Mygentlecountrymen，wewillrenewOuroldacquaintance；andatleastI'lltryTotellyoutruthsyouwillnottakeastrue，Becausetheyareso；-amaleMrs。Fry，WithasoftbesomwillIsweepyourhalls，Andbrushawebortwofromoffthewalls。
　　OhMrs。Fry！WhygotoNewgate？WhyPreachtopoorrogues？AndwhereforenotbeginWithCarlton，orwithotherhouses？TryYourheadatharden'dandimperialsin。
　　Tomendthepeople'sanabsurdity，Ajargon，amerephilanthropicdin，Unlessyoumaketheirbettersbetter：-Fy！
　　Ithoughtyouhadmorereligion，Mrs。Fry。
　　Teachthemthedecenciesofgoodthreescore；
　　Curethemoftours，hussarandhighlanddresses；
　　Tellthemthatyouthoncegonereturnsnomore，Thathiredhuzzasredeemnoland'sdistresses；
　　TellthemSirWilliamCurtisisabore，Toodullevenforthedullestofexcesses，ThewitlessFalstaffofahoaryHal，Afoolwhosebellshaveceasedtoringatall。
　　Tellthem，thoughitmaybeperhapstoolate，Onlife'swornconfine，jaded，bloated，sated，Tosetupvainpretenceofbeinggreat，'Tisnotsotobegood；andbeitstated，Theworthiestkingshaveeverlovedleaststate；
　　Andtellthem-Butyouwon't，andIhavepratedJustnowenough；butbyandbyI'llprattleLikeRoland'shorninRoncesvalles'battle。
　　CANTOTHEELEVENTH。
　　WHENBishopBerkeleysaid'therewasnomatter，'
　　Andprovedit-'twasnomatterwhathesaid：
　　Theysayhissystem'tisinvaintobatter，Toosubtlefortheairiesthumanhead；
　　Andyetwhocanbelieveit？IwouldshatterGladlyallmattersdowntostoneorlead，Oradamant，tofindtheworldaspirit，Andwearmyhead，denyingthatIwearit。
　　Whatasublimediscovery'twastomaketheUniverseuniversalegotism，Thatall'sideal-allourselves：I'llstaketheWorldbeitwhatyouwillthatthat'snoschism。
　　OhDoubt！-ifthoube'stDoubt，forwhichsometakethee；
　　ButwhichIdoubtextremely-thousoleprismOftheTruth'srays，spoilnotmydraughtofspirit！
　　Heaven'sbrandy，thoughourbraincanhardlybearit。
　　ForeverandanoncomesIndigestion，Notthemost'daintyAriel'andperplexesOursoaringswithanothersortofquestion：
　　Andthatwhichafterallmyspiritvexes，Is，thatIfindnospotwheremancanresteyeon，Withoutconfusionofthesortsandsexes，Ofbeings，stars，andthisunriddledwonder，Theworld，whichattheworst'sagloriousblunder-
　　Ifitbechance；orifitbeaccordingTotheoldtext，stillbetter：-lestitshouldTurnoutso，we'llsaynothing'gainstthewording，Asseveralpeoplethinksuchhazardsrude。
　　They'reright；ourdaysaretoobriefforaffordingSpacetodisputewhatnooneevercouldDecide，andeverybodyonedaywillKnowveryclearly-oratleastliestill。
　　AndthereforewillIleaveoffmetaphysicalDiscussion，whichisneitherherenorthere：
　　IfIagreethatwhatis，is；thenthisIcallBeingquiteperspicuousandextremelyfair；
　　Thetruthis，I'vegrownlatelyratherphthisical：
　　Idon'tknowwhatthereasonis-theairPerhaps；butasIsufferfromtheshocksOfillness，Igrowmuchmoreorthodox。
　　ThefirstattackatonceprovedtheDivinityButthatIneverdoubted，northeDevil；
　　Thenext，theVirgin'smysticalvirginity；
　　Thethird，theusualOriginofEvil；
　　Thefourthatonceestablish'dthewholeTrinityOnsouncontrovertiblealevel，ThatIdevoutlywish'dthethreewerefour，Onpurposetobelievesomuchthemore。
　　ToourTheme-ThemanwhohasstoodontheAcropolis，Andlook'ddownoverAttica；orheWhohassail'dwherepicturesqueConstantinopleis，OrseenTimbuctoo，orhathtakenteaInsmall-eyedChina'scrockery-waremetropolis，OrsatamidstthebricksofNineveh，MaynotthinkmuchofLondon'sfirstappearance-
　　Butaskhimwhathethinksofitayearhence？
　　DonJuanhadgotoutonShooter'sHill；
　　Sunsetthetime，theplacethesamedeclivityWhichlooksalongthatvaleofgoodandillWhereLondonstreetsfermentinfullactivity；
　　Whileeverythingaroundwascalmandstill，Exceptthecreakofwheels，whichontheirpivotheHeard，-andthatbee-like，bubbling，busyhumOfcities，thatboiloverwiththeirscum：-
　　Isay，DonJuan，wraptincontemplation，Walk'donbehindhiscarriage，o'erthesummit，Andlostinwonderofsogreatanation，Gavewayto't，sincehecouldnotovercomeit。
　　'Andhere，'hecried，'isFreedom'schosenstation；
　　Herepealsthepeople'svoice，norcanentombitRacks，prisons，inquisitions；resurrectionAwaitsit，eachnewmeetingorelection。
　　'Herearechastewives，purelives；herepeoplepayButwhattheyplease；andifthatthingsbedear，'TisonlythattheylovetothrowawayTheircash，toshowhowmuchtheyhavea-year。
　　Herelawsareallinviolate；nonelayTrapsforthetraveller；everyhighway'sclear：
　　Here-'hewasinterruptedbyaknife，With，-'Damnyoureyes！yourmoneyoryourlife！'
　　ThesefreebornsoundsproceededfromfourpadsInambushlaid，whohadperceivedhimloiterBehindhiscarriage；and，likehandylads，Hadseizedtheluckyhourtoreconnoitre，InwhichtheheedlessgentlemanwhogadsUpontheroad，unlessheproveafighter，MayfindhimselfwithinthatisleofrichesExposedtolosehislifeaswellasbreeches。
　　Juan，whodidnotunderstandawordOfEnglish，savetheirshibboleth，'Goddamn！'
　　Andeventhathehadsorarelyheard，Hesometimesthought'twasonlytheir'Salam，'
　　Or'Godbewithyou！'-and'tisnotabsurdTothinkso：forhalfEnglishasIamTomymisfortune，nevercanIsayIheardthemwish'Godwithyou，'savethatway；-
　　Juanyetquicklyunderstoodtheirgesture，Andbeingsomewhatcholericandsudden，Drewforthapocketpistolfromhisvesture，Andfireditintooneassailant'spudding-
　　Whofell，asrollsanoxo'erinhispasture，Androar'dout，ashewrithedhisnativemudin，Untohisnearestfollowerorhenchman，'OhJack！I'mfloor'dbythat'erebloodyFrenchman！'
　　OnwhichJackandhistrainsetoffatspeed，AndJuan'ssuite，latescatter'datadistance，Cameup，allmarvellingatsuchadeed，Andoffering，asusual，lateassistance。
　　Juan，whosawthemoon'slateminionbleedAsifhisveinswouldpourouthisexistence，Stoodcallingoutforbandagesandlint，Andwish'dhehadbeenlesshastywithhisflint。
　　'Perhaps，'thoughthe，'itisthecountry'swontTowelcomeforeignersinthisway：nowIrecollectsomeinnkeeperswhodon'tDiffer，exceptinrobbingwithabow，Inlieuofabarebladeandbrazenfront。
　　Butwhatistobedone？Ican'tallowThefellowtoliegroaningontheroad：
　　Sotakehimup；I'llhelpyouwiththeload。'
　　Buteretheycouldperformthispiousduty，Thedyingmancried，'Hold！I'vegotmygruel！
　　Ohforaglassofmax！We'vemiss'dourbooty；
　　LetmediewhereIam！'AndasthefuelOflifeshrunkinhisheart，andthickandsootyThedropsfellfromhisdeath-wound，andhedrewillHisbreath，-hefromhisswellingthroatuntiedAkerchief，crying，'GiveSalthat！'-anddied。
　　Thecravatstain'dwithbloodydropsfelldownBeforeDonJuan'sfeet：hecouldnottellExactlywhyitwasbeforehimthrown，Norwhatthemeaningoftheman'sfarewell。
　　PoorTomwasonceakiddyupontown，Athoroughvarmint，andarealswell，Fullflash，allfancy，untilfairlydiddled，Hispocketsfirstandthenhisbodyriddled。
　　DonJuan，havingdonethebesthecouldInallthecircumstancesofthecase，Assoonas'Crowner'squest'allow'd，pursuedHistravelstothecapitalapace；-
　　EsteemingitalittlehardheshouldIntwelvehours'time，andverylittlespace，HavebeenobligedtoslayafreebornnativeInself-defence：thismadehimmeditative。
　　Hefromtheworldhadcutoffagreatman，Whoinhistimehadmadeheroicbustle。
　　WhoinarowlikeTomcouldleadthevan，Boozeintheken，oratthespellkenhustle？
　　Whoqueeraflat？WhospiteofBowStreet'sban
　　Onthehightoby-spicesoflashthemuzzle？
　　Whoonalark，withblack-eyedSalhisblowing，Soprime，soswell，sonutty，andsoknowing？
　　ButTom'snomore-andsonomoreofTom。
　　Heroesmustdie；andbyGod'sblessing'tisNotlongbeforethemostofthemgohome。
　　Hail！Thamis，Hail！UponthyvergeitisThatJuan'schariot，rollinglikeadrumInthunder，holdsthewayitcan'twellmiss，ThroughKenningtonandalltheother'tons，'
　　Whichmakesuswishourselvesintownatonce；-
　　ThroughGroves，socall'dasbeingvoidoftreesLikelucusfromnolight；throughprospectsnamedMountPleasant，ascontainingnoughttoplease，Normuchtoclimb；throughlittleboxesframedOfbricks，toletthedustinatyourease，With'Tobelet'upontheirdoorsproclaim'd；
　　Through'Rows'mostmodestlycall'd'Paradise，'
　　WhichEvemightquitwithoutmuchsacrifice；-
　　Throughcoaches，drays，chokedturnpikes，andawhirlOfwheels，androarofvoices，andconfusion；
　　Heretavernswooingtoapintof'purl，'
　　Theremailsfastflyingofflikeadelusion；
　　Therebarbers'blockswithperiwigsincurlInwindows；herethelamplighter'sinfusionSlowlydistill'dintotheglimmeringglassForinthosedayswehadnotgottogas；-
　　Throughthis，andmuch，andmore，istheapproachOftravellerstomightyBabylon：
　　Whethertheycomebyhorse，orchaise，orcoach，Withslightexceptions，allthewaysseemone。
　　Icouldsaymore，butdonotchoosetoencroachUpontheGuide-book'sprivilege。ThesunHadsetsometime，andnightwasontheridgeOftwilight，asthepartycross'dthebridge，-
　　That'sratherfine。ThegentlesoundofThamis-
　　Whovindicatesamoment，too，hisstream，Thoughhardlyheardthroughmultifarious'damme's'-
　　ThelampsofWestminster'smoreregulargleam，Thebreadthofpavement，andyonshrinewherefameisAspectralresident-whosepallidbeamInshapeofmoonshinehoverso'erthepile-
　　MakethisasacredpartofAlbion'sisle。
　　TheDruids'grovesaregone-somuchthebetter：
　　Stone-Hengeisnot-butwhatthedevilisit？-
　　ButBedlamstillexistswithitssagefetter，Thatmadmenmaynotbiteyouonavisit；
　　TheBenchtooseatsorsuitsfullmanyadebtor；
　　TheMansionHousetoothoughsomepeoplequizit
　　Tomeappearsastiffyetgranderection；
　　ButthentheAbbey'sworththewholecollection。
　　Thelineoflights，too，uptoCharingCross，PallMall，andsoforth，haveacoruscationLikegoldasincomparisontodross，Match'dwiththeContinent'sillumination，WhosecitiesNightbynomeansdeignstogloss。
　　TheFrenchwerenotyetalamp-lightingnation，Andwhentheygrewso-ontheirnew-foundlantern，Insteadofwicks，theymadeawickedmanturn。
　　ArowofgentlemenalongthestreetsSuspendedmayilluminatemankind，Asalsobonfiresmadeofcountryseats；
　　Buttheoldwayisbestforthepurblind：
　　Theotherlookslikephosphorusonsheets，Asortofignisfatuustothemind，Which，though'tiscertaintoperplexandfrighten，Mustburnmoremildlyereitcanenlighten。
　　ButLondon'ssowelllit，thatifDiogenesCouldrecommencetohunthishonestman，AndfoundhimnotamidstthevariousprogeniesOfthisenormouscity'sspreadingspan，'TwerenotforwantoflampstoaidhisdodginghisYetundiscover'dtreasure。WhatIcan，I'vedonetofindthesamethroughoutlife'sjourney，Butseetheworldisonlyoneattorney。
　　OverthestonesstillrattlingupPallMall，Throughcrowdsandcarriages，butwaxingthinnerAsthunder'dknockersbrokethelongseal'dspellOfdoors'gainstduns，andtoanearlydinnerAdmittedasmallpartyasnightfell，-
　　DonJuan，ouryoungdiplomaticsinner，Pursuedhispath，anddrovepastsomehotels，St。James'sPalaceandSt。James's'Hells。'
　　Theyreach'dthehotel：forthstream'dfromthefrontdoorAtideofwell-cladwaiters，andaroundThemobstood，andasusualseveralscoreOfthosepedestrianPaphianswhoaboundIndecentLondonwhenthedaylight'so'er；
　　Commodiousbutimmoral，theyarefoundUseful，likeMalthus，inpromotingmarriage-
　　ButJuannowissteppingfromhiscarriageIntooneofthesweetestofhotels，Especiallyforforeigners-andmostlyForthosewhomfavourorwhomfortuneswells，Andcannotfindabill'ssmallitemscostly。
　　TheremanyanenvoyeitherdweltordwellsThedenofmanyadiplomaticlostlie，Untiltosomeconspicuoussquaretheypass，Andblazono'erthedoortheirnamesinbrass。
　　Juan，whosewasadelicatecommission，Private，thoughpubliclyimportant，boreNotitletopointoutwithdueprecisionTheexactaffaironwhichhewassento'er。
　　'Twasmerelyknown，thatonasecretmissionAforeignerofrankhadgracedourshore，Young，handsome，andaccomplish'd，whowassaidInwhisperstohaveturn'dhissovereign'shead。
　　SomerumouralsoofsomestrangeadventuresHadgonebeforehim，andhiswarsandloves；
　　Andasromanticheadsareprettypainters，And，aboveall，anEnglishwoman'srovesIntotheexcursive，breakingtheindenturesOfsoberreasonwheresoe'eritmoves，Hefoundhimselfextremelyinthefashion，Whichservesourthinkingpeopleforapassion。
　　Idon'tmeanthattheyarepassionless，butquiteThecontrary；butthen'tisinthehead；
　　YetastheconsequencesareasbrightAsiftheyactedwiththeheartinstead，WhatafterallcansignifythesiteOfladies'lucubrations？SotheyleadInsafetytotheplaceforwhichyoustart，Whatmattersiftheroadbeheadorheart？
　　Juanpresentedintheproperplace，Toproperplacemen，everyRusscredential；
　　AndwasreceivedwithalltheduegrimaceBythosewhogoverninthemoodpotential，Who，seeingahandsomestriplingwithsmoothface，Thoughtwhatinstateaffairsismostessential
　　Thattheyaseasilymightdotheyoungster，Ashawksmaypounceuponawoodlandsongster。
　　Theyerr'd，asagedmenwilldo；butbyAndbywe'lltalkofthat；andifwedon't，'TwillbebecauseournotionisnothighOfpoliticiansandtheirdoublefront，Wholivebylies，yetdarenotboldlylie：-
　　NowwhatIloveinwomenis，theywon'tOrcan'tdootherwisethanlie，butdoitSowell，theverytruthseemsfalsehoodtoit。
　　And，afterall，whatisalie？'TisbutThetruthinmasquerade；andIdefyHistorians，heroes，lawyers。priests，toputAfactwithoutsomeleavenofalie。
　　TheveryshadowoftrueTruthwouldshutUpannals，revelations，poesy，Andprophecy-exceptitshouldbedatedSomeyearsbeforetheincidentsrelated。
　　Praisedbeallliarsandalllies！WhonowCantaxmymildMusewithmisanthropy？
　　Sheringstheworld's'TeDeum，'andherbrowBlushesforthosewhowillnot：-buttosighIsidle；letuslikemostothersbow，Kisshands，feet，anypartofmajesty，Afterthegoodexampleof'GreenErin，'
　　Whoseshamrocknowseemsratherworseforwearing。
　　DonJuanwaspresented，andhisdressAndmienexcitedgeneraladmiration-
　　Idon'tknowwhichwasmoreadmiredorless：
　　Onemonstrousdiamonddrewmuchobservation，WhichCatherineinamomentof'ivresse'
　　Inloveorbrandy'sferventfermentation
　　Bestow'duponhim，asthepubliclearn'd；
　　And，tosaytruth，ithadbeenfairlyearn'd。
　　Besidestheministersandunderlings，WhomustbecourteoustotheaccreditedDiplomatistsofratherwaveringkings，Untiltheirroyalriddle'sfullyread，Theveryclerks，-thosesomewhatdirtyspringsOfoffice，orthehouseofoffice，fedByfoulcorruptionintostreams，-eventheyWerehardlyrudeenoughtoearntheirpay：
　　AndinsolencenodoubtiswhattheyareEmploy'dfor，sinceitistheirdailylabour，Inthedearofficesofpeaceorwar；
　　Andshouldyoudoubt，prayaskofyournextneighbour，Whenforapassport，orsomeotherbarTofreedom，heappliedagriefandabore，Ifhefoundnothisspawnoftaxbornriches，ButJuanwasreceivedwithmuch'empressement：'-
　　ThesephrasesofrefinementImustborrowFromournextneighbours'land，where，likeachessman，ThereisamovesetdownforjoyorsorrowNotonlyinmeretalking，butthepress。ManInislandsis，itseems，downrightandthorough，Morethanoncontinents-asiftheseaSeeBillingsgatemadeeventhetonguemorefree。
　　AndyettheBritish'Damme''sratherAttic：
　　Yourcontinentaloathsarebutincontinent，AndturnonthingswhichnoaristocraticSpiritwouldname，andthereforeevenIwon'tanentThissubjectquote；asitwouldbeschismaticInpolitesse，andhaveasoundaffrontingin't：-
　　But'Damme''squiteethereal，thoughtoodaring-
　　Platonicblasphemy，thesoulofswearing。
　　Fordownrightrudeness，yemaystayathome；
　　FortrueorfalsepolitenessandscarcethatNowyoumaycrossthebluedeepandwhitefoam-
　　ThefirsttheemblemrarelythoughofwhatYouleavebehind，thenextofmuchyoucomeTomeet。However，'tisnotimetochatOngeneraltopics：poemsmustconfineThemselvestounity，likethisofmine。
　　Inthegreatworld，-which，beinginterpreted，Meaneththewestorworstendofacity，AndabouttwicetwothousandpeoplebredBynomeanstobeverywiseorwitty，Buttositupwhileotherslieinbed，Andlookdownontheuniversewithpity，-
　　Juan，asaninveteratepatrician，Waswellreceivedbypersonsofcondition。
　　Hewasabachelor，whichisamatterOfimportbothtovirginandtobride，Theformer'shymenealhopestoflatter；
　　Andshouldshenotholdfastbyloveorpride
　　'Tisalsoofsomemomenttothelatter：
　　Arib'sathorninawedgallant'sside，Requiresdecorum，andisapttodoubleThehorridsin-andwhat'sstillworse，thetrouble。
　　ButJuanwasabachelor-ofarts，Andparts，andhearts：hedancedandsung，andhadAnairassentimentalasMozart'sSoftestofmelodies；andcouldbesadOrcheerful，withoutany'flawsorstarts，'
　　Justatthepropertime；andthoughalad，Hadseentheworld-whichisacurioussight，Andverymuchunlikewhatpeoplewrite。
　　Fairvirginsblush'duponhim；weddeddamesBloom'dalsoinlesstransitoryhues；
　　ForbothcommoditiesdwellbytheThames，Thepaintingandthepainted；youth，ceruse，Againsthisheartpreferr'dtheirusualclaims，Suchasnogentlemancanquiterefuse：
　　Daughtersadmiredhisdress，andpiousmothersInquiredhisincome，andifhehadbrothers。
　　Themillinerswhofurnish'draperyMisses'
　　Throughouttheseason，uponspeculationOfpaymenterethehoney-moon'slastkissesHavewanedintoacrescent'scoruscation，Thoughtsuchanopportunityasthisis，Ofarichforeigner'sinitiation，Nottobeoverlook'd-andgavesuchcredit，Thatfuturebridegroomsswore，andsigh'd，andpaidit。
　　TheBlues，thattendertribewhosigho'ersonnets，AndwiththepagesofthelastReviewLinetheinterioroftheirheadsorbonnets，Advancedinalltheirazure'shighesthue：
　　Theytalk'dbadFrenchorSpanish，anduponitsLateauthorsask'dhimforahintortwo；
　　Andwhichwassoftest，RussianorCastilian？
　　AndwhetherinhistravelshesawIlion？
　　Juan，whowasalittlesuperficial，AndnotinliteratureagreatDrawcansir，ExaminedbythislearnedandespecialJuryofmatrons，scarceknewwhattoanswer：
　　Hisdutieswarlike，lovingorofficial，Hissteadyapplicationasadancer，HadkepthimfromthebrinkofHippocrene，Whichnowhefoundwasblueinsteadofgreen。
　　However，herepliedathazard，withAmodestconfidenceandcalmassurance，Whichlenthislearnedlucubrationspith，Andpass'dforargumentsofgoodendurance。
　　Thatprodigy，MissAramintaSmithWhoatsixteentranslated'HerculesFurens'
　　IntoasfuriousEnglish，withherbestlook，Setdownhissayingsinhercommon-placebook。
　　Juanknewseverallanguages-aswellHemight-andbroughtthemupwithskill，intimeTosavehisfamewitheachaccomplish'dbelle，Whostillregrettedthathedidnotrhyme。
　　TherewantedbutthisrequisitetoswellHisqualitieswiththemintosublime：
　　LadyFitz-Frisky，andMissMaeviaMannish，Bothlong'dextremelytobesunginSpanish。
　　However，hedidprettywell，andwasAdmittedasanaspiranttoallThecoteries，and，asinBanquo'sglass，Atgreatassembliesorinpartiessmall，Hesawtenthousandlivingauthorspass，Thatbeingabouttheiraveragenumeral；
　　Alsotheeighty'greatestlivingpoets，'
　　Aseverypaltrymagazinecanshowits。
　　Intwicefiveyearsthe'greatestlivingpoet，'
　　Liketothechampioninthefistyring，Iscall'dontosupporthisclaim，orshowit，Although'tisanimaginarything。
　　EvenI-albeitI'msureIdidnotknowit，Norsoughtoffoolscapsubjectstobeking-
　　Wasreckon'daconsiderabletime，ThegrandNapoleonoftherealmsofrhyme。
　　ButJuanwasmyMoscow，andFalieroMyLeipsic，andmyMountSaintJeanseemsCain：
　　'LaBelleAlliance'ofduncesdownatzero，NowthattheLion'sfall'n，mayriseagain：
　　ButIwillfallatleastasfellmyhero；
　　Norreignatall，orasamonarchreign；
　　Ortosomelonelyisleofgaolersgo，WithturncoatSoutheyformyturnkeyLowe。