CHAPTERXLIX
  WHICHTREATSOFTHESHREWDCONVERSATIONWHICHSANCHOPANZAHELDWITH
  HISMASTERDONQUIXOTE
  “AHA,Ihavecaughtyou,“saidSancho;“thisiswhatinmyheartandsoulIwaslongingtoknow。Comenow,senor,canyoudenywhatiscommonlysaidaroundus,whenapersonisoutofhumour,'Idon'tknowwhatailsso-and-so,thatheneithereats,nordrinks,norsleeps,norgivesaproperanswertoanyquestion;onewouldthinkhewasenchanted'?Fromwhichitistobegatheredthatthosewhodonoteat,ordrink,orsleep,ordoanyofthenaturalactsIamspeakingof-
  thatsuchpersonsareenchanted;butnotthosethathavethedesireyourworshiphas,anddrinkwhendrinkisgiventhem,andeatwhenthereisanythingtoeat,andanswereveryquestionthatisaskedthem。“
  “Whatthousayestistrue,Sancho,“repliedDonQuixote;“butIhavealreadytoldtheetherearemanysortsofenchantments,anditmaybethatinthecourseoftimetheyhavebeenchangedoneforanother,andthatnowitmaybethewaywithenchantedpeopletodoallthatIdo,thoughtheydidnotdosobefore;soitisvaintoargueordrawinferencesagainsttheusageofthetime。IknowandfeelthatIamenchanted,andthatisenoughtoeasemyconscience;
  foritwouldweighheavilyonitifIthoughtthatIwasnotenchanted,andthatinaaint-heartedandcowardlywayIallowedmyselftolieinthiscage,defraudingmultitudesofthesuccourI
  mightaffordtothoseinneedanddistress,whoatthisverymomentmaybeinsorewantofmyaidandprotection。“
  “Stillforallthat,“repliedSancho,“Isaythat,foryourgreaterandfullersatisfaction,itwouldbewellifyourworshipweretotrytogetoutofthisprisonandIpromisetodoallinmypowertohelp,andeventotakeyououtofit,andseeifyoucouldoncemoremountyourgoodRocinante,whoseemstobeenchantedtoo,heissomelancholyanddejected;andthenwemighttryourchanceinlookingforadventuresagain;andifwehavenolucktherewillbetimeenoughtogobacktothecage;inwhich,onthefaithofagoodandloyalsquire,Ipromisetoshutmyselfupalongwithyourworship,ifsobeyouaresounfortunate,orIsostupid,asnottobeabletocarryoutmyplan。“
  “Iamcontenttodoasthousayest,brotherSancho,“saidDonQuixote,“andwhenthouseestanopportunityforeffectingmyreleaseIwillobeytheeabsolutely;butthouwiltsee,Sancho,howmistakenthouartinthyconceptionofmymisfortune。“
  Theknight-errantandtheill-errantsquirekeptuptheirconversationtilltheyreachedtheplacewherethecurate,thecanon,andthebarber,whohadalreadydismounted,werewaitingforthem。Thecarteratonceunyokedtheoxenandleftthemtoroamatlargeaboutthepleasantgreenspot,thefreshnessofwhichseemedtoinvite,notenchantedpeoplelikeDonQuixote,butwide-awake,sensiblefolklikehissquire,whobeggedthecuratetoallowhismastertoleavethecageforalittle;foriftheydidnotlethimout,theprisonmightnotbeascleanastheproprietyofsuchagentlemanashismasterrequired。Thecurateunderstoodhim,andsaidhewouldverygladlycomplywithhisrequest,onlythathefearedhismaster,findinghimselfatliberty,wouldtaketohisoldcoursesandmakeoffwherenobodycouldeverfindhimagain。
  “Iwillanswerforhisnotrunningaway,“saidSancho。
  “AndIalso,“saidthecanon,“especiallyifhegivesmehiswordasaknightnottoleaveuswithoutourconsent。“
  DonQuixote,whowaslisteningtoallthis,said,“Igiveit;-
  moreoveronewhoisenchantedasIamcannotdoashelikeswithhimself;forhewhohadenchantedhimcouldpreventhismovingfromoneplaceforthreeages,andifheattemptedtoescapewouldbringhimbackflying。“-Andthatbeingso,theymightaswellreleasehim,particularlyasitwouldbetotheadvantageofall;for,iftheydidnotlethimout,heprotestedhewouldbeunabletoavoidoffendingtheirnostrilsunlesstheykepttheirdistance。
  Thecanontookhishand,tiedtogetherastheybothwere,andonhiswordandpromisetheyunboundhim,andrejoicedbeyondmeasurehewastofindhimselfoutofthecage。Thefirstthinghedidwastostretchhimselfallover,andthenhewenttowhereRocinantewasstandingandgivinghimacoupleofslapsonthehaunchessaid,“I
  stilltrustinGodandinhisblessedmother,Oflowerandmirrorofsteeds,thatweshallsoonseeourselves,bothofus,aswewishtobe,thouwiththymasteronthyback,andImounteduponthee,followingthecallingforwhichGodsentmeintotheworld。“Andsosaying,accompaniedbySancho,hewithdrewtoaretiredspot,fromwhichhecamebackmuchrelievedandmoreeagerthanevertoputhissquire'sschemeintoexecution。
  Thecanongazedathim,wonderingattheextraordinarynatureofhismadness,andthatinallhisremarksandrepliesheshouldshowsuchexcellentsense,andonlylosehisstirrups,ashasbeenalreadysaid,whenthesubjectofchivalrywasbroached。Andso,movedbycompassion,hesaidtohim,astheyallsatonthegreengrassawaitingthearrivaloftheprovisions:
  “Isitpossible,gentlesir,thatthenauseousandidlereadingofbooksofchivalrycanhavehadsuchaneffectonyourworshipastoupsetyourreasonsothatyoufancyyourselfenchanted,andthelike,allasfarfromthetruthasfalsehooditselfis?HowcantherebeanyhumanunderstandingthatcanpersuadeitselfthereeverwasallthatinfinityofAmadisesintheworld,orallthatmultitudeoffamousknights,allthoseemperorsofTrebizond,allthoseFelixmartesofHircania,allthosepalfreys,anddamsels-errant,andserpents,andmonsters,andgiants,andmarvellousadventures,andenchantmentsofeverykind,andbattles,andprodigiousencounters,splendidcostumes,love-sickprincesses,squiresmadecounts,drolldwarfs,loveletters,billingsandcooings,swashbucklerwomen,and,inaword,allthatnonsensethebooksofchivalrycontain?Formyself,IcanonlysaythatwhenIreadthem,solongasIdonotstoptothinkthattheyareallliesandfrivolity,theygivemeacertainamountofpleasure;butwhenIcometoconsiderwhattheyare,Iflingtheverybestofthematthewall,andwouldflingitintothefireiftherewereoneathand,asrichlydeservingsuchpunishmentascheatsandimpostorsoutoftherangeofordinarytoleration,andasfoundersofnewsectsandmodesoflife,andteachersthatleadtheignorantpublictobelieveandacceptastruthallthefollytheycontain。Andsuchistheiraudacity,theyevendaretounsettlethewitsofgentlemenofbirthandintelligence,asisshownplainlybythewaytheyhaveservedyourworship,whentheyhavebroughtyoutosuchapassthatyouhavetobeshutupinacageandcarriedonanox-cartasonewouldcarryalionoratigerfromplacetoplacetomakemoneybyshowingit。Come,SenorDonQuixote,havesomecompassionforyourself,returntothebosomofcommonsense,andmakeuseoftheliberalshareofitthatheavenhasbeenpleasedtobestowuponyou,employingyourabundantgiftsofmindinsomeotherreadingthatmayservetobenefityourconscienceandaddtoyourhonour。Andif,stillledawaybyyournaturalbent,youdesiretoreadbooksofachievementsandofchivalry,readtheBookofJudgesintheHolyScriptures,forthereyouwillfindgrandreality,anddeedsastrueastheyareheroic。LusitaniahadaViriatus,RomeaCaesar,CarthageaHannibal,GreeceanAlexander,CastileaCountFernanGonzalez,ValenciaaCid,AndalusiaaGonzaloFernandez,EstremaduraaDiegoGarciadeParedes,JerezaGarciPerezdeVargas,ToledoaGarcilaso,SevilleaDonManueldeLeon,toreadofwhosevaliantdeedswillentertainandinstructtheloftiestmindsandfillthemwithdelightandwonder。Here,SenorDonQuixote,willbereadingworthyofyoursoundunderstanding;fromwhichyouwillriselearnedinhistory,inlovewithvirtue,strengthenedingoodness,improvedinmanners,bravewithoutrashness,prudentwithoutcowardice;andalltothehonourofGod,yourownadvantageandthegloryofLaMancha,whence,Iaminformed,yourworshipderivesyourbirth。“
  DonQuixotelistenedwiththegreatestattentiontothecanon'swords,andwhenhefoundhehadfinished,afterregardinghimforsometime,herepliedtohim:
  “Itappearstome,gentlesir,thatyourworship'sdiscourseisintendedtopersuademethatthereneverwereanyknights-errantintheworld,andthatallthebooksofchivalryarefalse,lying,mischievousanduselesstotheState,andthatIhavedonewronginreadingthem,andworseinbelievingthem,andstillworseinimitatingthem,whenIundertooktofollowthearduouscallingofknight-errantrywhichtheysetforth;foryoudenythatthereeverwereAmadisesofGaulorofGreece,oranyotheroftheknightsofwhomthebooksarefull。“
  “Itisallexactlyasyoustateit,“saidthecanon;towhichDonQuixotereturned,“Youalsowentontosaythatbooksofthiskindhaddonememuchharm,inasmuchastheyhadupsetmysenses,andshutmeupinacage,andthatitwouldbebetterformetoreformandchangemystudies,andreadothertruerbookswhichwouldaffordmorepleasureandinstruction。“
  “Justso,“saidthecanon。
  “Wellthen,“returnedDonQuixote,“tomyminditisyouwhoaretheonethatisoutofhiswitsandenchanted,asyouhaveventuredtouttersuchblasphemiesagainstathingsouniversallyacknowledgedandacceptedastruethatwhoeverdeniesit,asyoudo,deservesthesamepunishmentwhichyousayyouinflictonthebooksthatirritateyouwhenyoureadthem。FortotrytopersuadeanybodythatAmadis,andalltheotherknights-adventurerswithwhomthebooksarefilled,neverexisted,wouldbeliketryingtopersuadehimthatthesundoesnotyieldlight,oricecold,orearthnourishment。WhatwitintheworldcanpersuadeanotherthatthestoryofthePrincessFloripesandGuyofBurgundyisnottrue,orthatofFierabrasandthebridgeofMantible,whichhappenedinthetimeofCharlemagne?Forbyallthatisgooditisastrueasthatitisdaylightnow;andifitbealie,itmustbealietoothattherewasaHector,orAchilles,orTrojanwar,orTwelvePeersofFrance,orArthurofEngland,whostillliveschangedintoaraven,andisunceasinglylookedforinhiskingdom。OnemightjustaswelltrytomakeoutthatthehistoryofGuarinoMezquino,orofthequestoftheHolyGrail,isfalse,orthatthelovesofTristramandtheQueenYseultareapocryphal,aswellasthoseofGuinevereandLancelot,whentherearepersonswhocanalmostrememberhavingseentheDameQuintanona,whowasthebestcupbearerinGreatBritain。Andsotrueisthis,thatI
  recollectagrandmotherofmineonthefather'sside,whenevershesawanydameinavenerablehood,usedtosaytome,'Grandson,thatoneislikeDameQuintanona,'fromwhichIconcludethatshemusthaveknownher,oratleasthadmanagedtoseesomeportraitofher。ThenwhocandenythatthestoryofPierresandthefairMagalonaistrue,wheneventothisdaymaybeseenintheking'sarmourythepinwithwhichthevaliantPierresguidedthewoodenhorseherodethroughtheair,anditisatriflebiggerthanthepoleofacart?
  AndalongsideofthepinisBabieca'ssaddle,andatRoncesvallesthereisRoland'shorn,aslargeasalargebeam;whencewemayinferthattherewereTwelvePeers,andaPierres,andaCid,andotherknightslikethem,ofthesortpeoplecommonlycalladventurers。
  OrperhapsIshallbetold,too,thattherewasnosuchknight-errantasthevaliantLusitanianJuandeMerlo,whowenttoBurgundyandinthecityofArrasfoughtwiththefamouslordofCharny,MosenPierresbyname,andafterwardsinthecityofBaslewithMosenEnriquedeRemesten,comingoutofbothencounterscoveredwithfameandhonour;oradventuresandchallengesachievedanddelivered,alsoinBurgundy,bythevaliantSpaniardsPedroBarbaandGutierreQuixadaofwhosefamilyIcomeinthedirectmaleline,whentheyvanquishedthesonsoftheCountofSanPolo。
  Ishallbetold,too,thatDonFernandodeGuevaradidnotgoinquestofadventurestoGermany,whereheengagedincombatwithMicerGeorge,aknightofthehouseoftheDukeofAustria。IshallbetoldthatthejoustsofSuerodeQuinones,himofthe'Paso,'andtheempriseofMosenLuisdeFalcesagainsttheCastilianknight,DonGonzalodeGuzman,weremeremockeries;aswellasmanyotherachievementsofChristianknightsoftheseandforeignrealms,whicharesoauthenticandtrue,that,Irepeat,hewhodeniesthemmustbetotallywantinginreasonandgoodsense。“
  ThecanonwasamazedtohearthemedleyoftruthandfictionDonQuixoteuttered,andtoseehowwellacquaintedhewaswitheverythingrelatingorbelongingtotheachievementsofhisknight-errantry;sohesaidinreply:
  “Icannotdeny,SenorDonQuixote,thatthereissometruthinwhatyousay,especiallyasregardstheSpanishknights-errant;andIamwillingtogranttoothattheTwelvePeersofFranceexisted,butIamnotdisposedtobelievethattheydidallthethingsthattheArchbishopTurpinrelatesofthem。ForthetruthofthematteristheywereknightschosenbythekingsofFrance,andcalled'Peers'becausetheywereallequalinworth,rankandprowessatleastiftheywerenottheyoughttohavebeen,anditwasakindofreligiousorderlikethoseofSantiagoandCalatravainthepresentday,inwhichitisassumedthatthosewhotakeitarevaliantknightsofdistinctionandgoodbirth;andjustaswesaynowaKnightofSt。
  John,orofAlcantara,theyusedtosaythenaKnightoftheTwelvePeers,becausetwelveequalswerechosenforthatmilitaryorder。ThattherewasaCid,aswellasaBernardodelCarpio,therecanbenodoubt;butthattheydidthedeedspeoplesaytheydid,Iholdtobeverydoubtful。InthatothermatterofthepinofCountPierresthatyouspeakof,andsayisnearBabieca'ssaddleintheArmoury,I
  confessmysin;forIameithersostupidorsoshort-sighted,that,thoughIhaveseenthesaddle,Ihaveneverbeenabletoseethepin,inspiteofitbeingasbigasyourworshipsaysitis。“
  “Forallthatitisthere,withoutanymannerofdoubt,“saidDonQuixote;“andmorebytokentheysayitisinclosedinasheathofcowhidetokeepitfromrusting。“
  “Allthatmaybe,“repliedthecanon;“but,bytheordersIhavereceived,Idonotrememberseeingit。However,grantingitisthere,thatisnoreasonwhyIamboundtobelievethestoriesofallthoseAmadisesandofallthatmultitudeofknightstheytellusabout,norisitreasonablethatamanlikeyourworship,soworthy,andwithsomanygoodqualities,andendowedwithsuchagoodunderstanding,shouldallowhimselftobepersuadedthatsuchwildcrazythingsasarewritteninthoseabsurdbooksofchivalryarereallytrue。“
  CHAPTERL
  OFTHESHREWDCONTROVERSYWHICHDONQUIXOTEANDTHECANONHELD,TOGETHERWITHOTHERINCIDENTS
  “AGOODjoke,that!”returnedDonQuixote。“Booksthathavebeenprintedwiththeking'slicence,andwiththeapprobationofthosetowhomtheyhavebeensubmitted,andreadwithuniversaldelight,andextolledbygreatandsmall,richandpoor,learnedandignorant,gentleandsimple,inawordbypeopleofeverysort,ofwhateverrankorconditiontheymaybe-thattheseshouldbelies!Andaboveallwhentheycarrysuchanappearanceoftruthwiththem;fortheytellusthefather,mother,country,kindred,age,place,andtheachievements,stepbystep,anddaybyday,performedbysuchaknightorknights!Hush,sir;utternotsuchblasphemy;trustmeIamadvisingyounowtoactasasensiblemanshould;onlyreadthem,andyouwillseethepleasureyouwillderivefromthem。For,come,tellme,cantherebeanythingmoredelightfulthantosee,asitwere,herenowdisplayedbeforeusavastlakeofbubblingpitchwithahostofsnakesandserpentsandlizards,andferociousandterriblecreaturesofallsortsswimmingaboutinit,whilefromthemiddleofthelaketherecomesaplaintivevoicesaying:'Knight,whosoeverthouartwhobeholdestthisdreadlake,ifthouwouldstwintheprizethatlieshiddenbeneaththeseduskywaves,provethevalourofthystoutheartandcastthyselfintothemidstofitsdarkburningwaters,elsethoushaltnotbeworthytoseethemightywonderscontainedinthesevencastlesofthesevenFaysthatliebeneaththisblackexpanse;'andthentheknight,almosteretheawfulvoicehasceased,withoutstoppingtoconsider,withoutpausingtoreflectuponthedangertowhichheisexposinghimself,withoutevenrelievinghimselfoftheweightofhismassivearmour,commendinghimselftoGodandtohislady,plungesintothemidstoftheboilinglake,andwhenhelittlelooksforit,orknowswhathisfateistobe,hefindshimselfamongflowerymeadows,withwhichtheElysianfieldsarenottobecompared。Theskyseemsmoretransparentthere,andthesunshineswithastrangebrilliancy,andadelightfulgroveofgreenleafytreespresentsitselftotheeyesandcharmsthesightwithitsverdure,whiletheearissoothedbythesweetuntutoredmelodyofthecountlessbirdsofgayplumagethatflittoandfroamongtheinterlacingbranches。Hereheseesabrookwhoselimpidwaters,likeliquidcrystal,rippleoverfinesandsandwhitepebblesthatlooklikesiftedgoldandpurestpearls。Thereheperceivesacunninglywroughtfountainofmany-colouredjasperandpolishedmarble;hereanotherofrusticfashionwherethelittlemussel-shellsandthespiralwhiteandyellowmansionsofthesnaildisposedinstudiousdisorder,mingledwithfragmentsofglitteringcrystalandmockemeralds,makeupaworkofvariedaspect,whereart,imitatingnature,seemstohaveoutdoneit。Suddenlythereispresentedtohissightastrongcastleorgorgeouspalacewithwallsofmassygold,turretsofdiamondandgatesofjacinth;inshort,somarvellousisitsstructurethatthoughthematerialsofwhichitisbuiltarenothinglessthandiamonds,carbuncles,rubies,pearls,gold,andemeralds,theworkmanshipisstillmorerare。Andafterhavingseenallthis,whatcanbemorecharmingthantoseehowabevyofdamselscomesforthfromthegateofthecastleingayandgorgeousattire,suchthat,wereItosetmyselfnowtodepictitasthehistoriesdescribeittous,Ishouldneverhavedone;andthenhowshewhoseemstobethefirstamongthemalltakestheboldknightwhoplungedintotheboilinglakebythehand,andwithoutaddressingawordtohimleadshimintotherichpalaceorcastle,andstripshimasnakedaswhenhismotherborehim,andbatheshiminlukewarmwater,andanointshimalloverwithsweet-smellingunguents,andclotheshiminashirtofthesoftestsendal,allscentedandperfumed,whileanotherdamselcomesandthrowsoverhisshouldersamantlewhichissaidtobeworthattheveryleastacity,andevenmore?Howcharmingitis,then,whentheytellushow,afterallthis,theyleadhimtoanotherchamberwherehefindsthetablessetoutinsuchstylethatheisfilledwithamazementandwonder;toseehowtheypouroutwaterforhishandsdistilledfromamberandsweet-scentedflowers;howtheyseathimonanivorychair;toseehowthedamselswaitonhimallinprofoundsilence;howtheybringhimsuchavarietyofdaintiessotemptinglypreparedthattheappetiteisatalosswhichtoselect;tohearthemusicthatresoundswhileheisattable,bywhomorwhenceproducedheknowsnot。Andthenwhentherepastisoverandthetablesremoved,fortheknighttoreclineinthechair,pickinghisteethperhapsasusual,andadamsel,muchlovelierthananyoftheothers,toenterunexpectedlybythechamberdoor,andherselfbyhisside,andbegintotellhimwhatthecastleis,andhowsheisheldenchantedthere,andotherthingsthatamazetheknightandastonishthereaderswhoareperusinghishistory。ButIwillnotexpatiateanyfurtheruponthis,asitmaybegatheredfromitthatwhateverpartofwhateverhistoryofaknight-errantonereads,itwillfillthereader,whoeverhebe,withdelightandwonder;andtakemyadvice,sir,and,asIsaidbefore,readthesebooksandyouwillseehowtheywillbanishanymelancholyyoumayfeelandraiseyourspiritsshouldtheybedepressed。FormyselfIcansaythatsinceIhavebeenaknight-errantIhavebecomevaliant,polite,generous,well-bred,magnanimous,courteous,dauntless,gentle,patient,andhavelearnedtobearhardships,imprisonments,andenchantments;andthoughitbesuchashorttimesinceIhaveseenmyselfshutupinacagelikeamadman,I
  hopebythemightofmyarm,ifheavenaidmeandfortunethwartmenot,toseemyselfkingofsomekingdomwhereImaybeabletoshowthegratitudeandgenerositythatdwellinmyheart;forbymyfaith,senor,thepoormanisincapacitatedfromshowingthevirtueofgenerositytoanyone,thoughhemaypossessitinthehighestdegree;andgratitudethatconsistsofdispositiononlyisadeadthing,justasfaithwithoutworksisdead。ForthisreasonIshouldbegladwerefortunesoontooffermesomeopportunityofmakingmyselfanemperor,soastoshowmyheartindoinggoodtomyfriends,particularlytothispoorSanchoPanza,mysquire,whoisthebestfellowintheworld;andIwouldgladlygivehimacountyIhavepromisedhimthiseversolong,onlythatIamafraidhehasnotthecapacitytogovernhisrealm。“
  Sanchopartlyheardtheselastwordsofhismaster,andsaidtohim,“Strivehardyou,SenorDonQuixote,togivemethatcountysooftenpromisedbyyouandsolonglookedforbyme,forIpromiseyoutherewillbenowantofcapacityinmetogovernit;andevenifthereis,Ihaveheardsaytherearemenintheworldwhofarmseigniories,payingsomuchayear,andtheythemselvestakingchargeofthegovernment,whilethelord,withhislegsstretchedout,enjoystherevenuetheypayhim,withouttroublinghimselfaboutanythingelse。That'swhatI'lldo,andnotstandhagglingovertrifles,butwashmyhandsatonceofthewholebusiness,andenjoymyrentslikeaduke,andletthingsgotheirownway。“
  “That,brotherSancho,“saidthecanon,“onlyholdsgoodasfarastheenjoymentoftherevenuegoes;butthelordoftheseigniorymustattendtotheadministrationofjustice,andherecapacityandsoundjudgmentcomein,andaboveallafirmdeterminationtofindoutthetruth;forifthisbewantinginthebeginning,themiddleandtheendwillalwaysgowrong;andGodascommonlyaidsthehonestintentionsofthesimpleashefrustratestheevildesignsofthecrafty。“
  “Idon'tunderstandthosephilosophies,“returnedSanchoPanza;“allIknowisIwouldIhadthecountyassoonasIshallknowhowtogovernit;forIhaveasmuchsoulasanother,andasmuchbodyasanyone,andIshallbeasmuchkingofmyrealmasanyotherofhis;
  andbeingsoIshoulddoasIliked,anddoingasIlikedIshouldpleasemyself,andpleasingmyselfIshouldbecontent,andwhenoneiscontenthehasnothingmoretodesire,andwhenonehasnothingmoretodesirethereisanendofit;soletthecountycome,andGodhewithyou,andletusseeoneanother,asoneblindmansaidtotheother。“
  “Thatisnotbadphilosophythouarttalking,Sancho,“saidthecanon;“butforallthatthereisagooddealtobesaidonthismatterofcounties。“
  TowhichDonQuixotereturned,“Iknownotwhatmorethereistobesaid;IonlyguidemyselfbytheexamplesetmebythegreatAmadisofGaul,whenhemadehissquirecountoftheInsulaFirme;andso,withoutanyscruplesofconscience,IcanmakeacountofSanchoPanza,forheisoneofthebestsquiresthateverknight-erranthad。“
  ThecanonwasastonishedatthemethodicalnonsenseifnonsensebecapableofmethodthatDonQuixoteuttered,atthewayinwhichhehaddescribedtheadventureoftheknightofthelake,attheimpressionthatthedeliberateliesofthebookshereadhadmadeuponhim,andlastlyhemarvelledatthesimplicityofSancho,whodesiredsoeagerlytoobtainthecountyhismasterhadpromisedhim。
  Bythistimethecanon'sservants,whohadgonetotheinntofetchthesumptermule,hadreturned,andmakingacarpetandthegreengrassofthemeadowserveasatable,theyseatedthemselvesintheshadeofsometreesandmadetheirrepastthere,thatthecartermightnotbedeprivedoftheadvantageofthespot,ashasbeenalreadysaid。Astheywereeatingtheysuddenlyheardaloudnoiseandthesoundofabellthatseemedtocomefromamongsomebramblesandthickbushesthatwerecloseby,andthesameinstanttheyobservedabeautifulgoat,spottedalloverblack,white,andbrown,springoutofthethicketwithagoatherdafterit,callingtoitandutteringtheusualcriestomakeitstoporturnbacktothefold。Thefugitivegoat,scaredandfrightened,rantowardsthecompanyasifseekingtheirprotectionandthenstoodstill,andthegoatherdcomingupseizeditbythehornsandbegantotalktoitasifitwerepossessedofreasonandunderstanding:“Ahwanderer,wanderer,Spotty,Spotty;
  howhaveyougonelimpingallthistime?Whatwolveshavefrightenedyou,mydaughter?Won'tyoutellmewhatisthematter,mybeauty?Butwhatelsecanitbeexceptthatyouareashe,andcannotkeepquiet?Aplagueonyourhumoursandthehumoursofthoseyoutakeafter!Comeback,comeback,mydarling;andifyouwillnotbesohappy,atanyrateyouwillbesafeinthefoldorwithyourcompanions;forifyouwhooughttokeepandleadthem,gowanderingastray,whatwillbecomeofthem?”
  Thegoatherd'stalkamusedallwhoheardit,butespeciallythecanon,whosaidtohim,“Asyoulive,brother,takeiteasy,andbenotinsuchahurrytodrivethisgoatbacktothefold;for,beingafemale,asyousay,shewillfollowhernaturalinstinctinspiteofallyoucandotopreventit。Takethismorselanddrinkasup,andthatwillsootheyourirritation,andinthemeantimethegoatwillrestherself,“andsosaying,hehandedhimtheloinsofacoldrabbitonafork。
  Thegoatherdtookitwiththanks,anddrankandcalmedhimself,andthensaid,“IshouldbesorryifyourworshipsweretotakemeforasimpletonforhavingspokensoseriouslyasIdidtothisanimal;
  butthetruthisthereisacertainmysteryinthewordsIused。I
  amaclown,butnotsomuchofonebutthatIknowhowtobehavetomenandtobeasts。“
  “ThatIcanwellbelieve,“saidthecurate,“forIknowalreadybyexperiencethatthewoodsbreedmenoflearning,andshepherds'
  harbourphilosophers。“
  “Atallevents,senor,“returnedthegoatherd,“theysheltermenofexperience;andthatyoumayseethetruthofthisandgraspit,thoughImayseemtoputmyselfforwardwithoutbeingasked,Iwill,ifitwillnottireyou,gentlemen,andyouwillgivemeyourattentionforalittle,tellyouatruestorywhichwillconfirmthisgentleman'swordandhepointedtothecurateaswellasmyown。“
  TothisDonQuixotereplied,“Seeingthatthisaffairhasacertaincolourofchivalryaboutit,Iformypart,brother,willhearyoumostgladly,andsowillallthesegentlemen,fromthehighintelligencetheypossessandtheirloveofcuriousnoveltiesthatinterest,charm,andentertainthemind,asIfeelquitesureyourstorywilldo。Sobegin,friend,forweareallpreparedtolisten。“
  “Idrawmystakes,“saidSancho,“andwillretreatwiththispastytothebrookthere,whereImeantovictualmyselfforthreedays;forIhaveheardmylord,DonQuixote,saythataknight-errant'ssquireshouldeatuntilhecanholdnomore,wheneverhehasthechance,becauseitoftenhappensthemtogetbyaccidentintoawoodsothickthattheycannotfindawayoutofitforsixdays;andifthemanisnotwellfilledorhisalforjaswellstored,therehemaystay,asveryoftenhedoes,turnedintoadriedmummy。“
  “Thouartintherightofit,Sancho,“saidDonQuixote;“gowherethouwiltandeatallthoucanst,forIhavehadenough,andonlywanttogivemyminditsrefreshment,asIshallbylisteningtothisgoodfellow'sstory。“
  “Itiswhatweshallalldo,“saidthecanon;andthenbeggedthegoatherdtobeginthepromisedtale。
  Thegoatherdgavethegoatwhichheheldbythehornsacoupleofslapsontheback,saying,“Liedownherebesideme,Spotty,forwehavetimeenoughtoreturntoourfold。“Thegoatseemedtounderstandhim,forashermasterseatedhimself,shestretchedherselfquietlybesidehimandlookedupinhisfacetoshowhimshewasallattentiontowhathewasgoingtosay,andtheninthesewordshebeganhisstory。
  CHAPTERLI
  WHICHDEALSWITHWHATTHEGOATHERDTOLDTHOSEWHOWERECARRYING
  OFFDONQUIXOTE
  THREEleaguesfromthisvalleythereisavillagewhich,thoughsmall,isoneoftherichestinallthisneighbourhood,andinittherelivedafarmer,averyworthyman,andsomuchrespectedthat,althoughtobesoisthenaturalconsequenceofbeingrich,hewasevenmorerespectedforhisvirtuethanforthewealthhehadacquired。Butwhatmadehimstillmorefortunate,ashesaidhimself,washavingadaughterofsuchexceedingbeauty,rareintelligence,gracefulness,andvirtue,thateveryonewhoknewherandbeheldhermarvelledattheextraordinarygiftswithwhichheavenandnaturehadendowedher。Asachildshewasbeautiful,shecontinuedtogrowinbeauty,andattheageofsixteenshewasmostlovely。Thefameofherbeautybegantospreadabroadthroughallthevillagesaround-butwhydoIsaythevillagesaround,merely,whenitspreadtodistantcities,andevenmadeitswayintothehallsofroyaltyandreachedtheearsofpeopleofeveryclass,whocamefromallsidestoseeherasiftoseesomethingrareandcurious,orsomewonder-workingimage?
  Herfatherwatchedoverherandshewatchedoverherself;fortherearenolocks,orguards,orboltsthatcanprotectayounggirlbetterthanherownmodesty。Thewealthofthefatherandthebeautyofthedaughterledmanyneighboursaswellasstrangerstoseekherforawife;buthe,asonemightwellbewhohadthedisposalofsorichajewel,wasperplexedandunabletomakeuphismindtowhichofhercountlesssuitorsheshouldentrusther。Iwasoneamongthemanywhofeltadesiresonatural,and,asherfatherknewwhoIwas,andIwasofthesametown,ofpureblood,inthebloomoflife,andveryrichinpossessions,Ihadgreathopesofsuccess。
  Therewasanotherofthesameplaceandqualificationswhoalsosoughther,andthismadeherfather'schoicehanginthebalance,forhefeltthatoneitherofushisdaughterwouldbewellbestowed;sotoescapefromthisstateofperplexityheresolvedtoreferthemattertoLeandraforthatisthenameoftherichdamselwhohasreducedmetomisery,reflectingthataswewerebothequalitwouldbebesttoleaveittohisdeardaughtertochooseaccordingtoherinclination-acoursethatisworthyofimitationbyallfatherswhowishtosettletheirchildreninlife。Idonotmeanthattheyoughttoleavethemtomakeachoiceofwhatiscontemptibleandbad,butthattheyshouldplacebeforethemwhatisgoodandthenallowthemtomakeagoodchoiceastheyplease。IdonotknowwhichLeandrachose;Ionlyknowherfatherputusbothoffwiththetenderageofhisdaughterandvaguewordsthatneitherboundhimnordismissedus。MyrivaliscalledAnselmoandImyselfEugenio-thatyoumayknowthenamesofthepersonagesthatfigureinthistragedy,theendofwhichisstillinsuspense,thoughitisplaintoseeitmustbedisastrous。
  AboutthistimetherearrivedinourtownoneVicentedelaRoca,thesonofapoorpeasantofthesametown,thesaidVicentehavingreturnedfromserviceasasoldierinItalyanddiversotherparts。
  Acaptainwhochancedtopassthatwaywithhiscompanyhadcarriedhimofffromourvillagewhenhewasaboyofabouttwelveyears,andnowtwelveyearslatertheyoungmancamebackinasoldier'suniform,arrayedinathousandcolours,andalloverglasstrinketsandfinesteelchains。To-dayhewouldappearinonegaydress,to-morrowinanother;butallflimsyandgaudy,oflittlesubstanceandlessworth。Thepeasantfolk,whoarenaturallymalicious,andwhentheyhavenothingtodocanbemaliceitself,remarkedallthis,andtooknoteofhisfineryandjewellery,piecebypiece,anddiscoveredthathehadthreesuitsofdifferentcolours,withgartersandstockingstomatch;buthemadesomanyarrangementsandcombinationsoutofthem,thatiftheyhadnotcountedthem,anyonewouldhaveswornthathehadmadeadisplayofmorethantensuitsofclothesandtwentyplumes。DonotlookuponallthisthatIamtellingyouabouttheclothesasuncalledfororspunout,fortheyhaveagreatdealtodowiththestory。Heusedtoseathimselfonabenchunderthegreatpoplarinourplaza,andtherehewouldkeepusallhangingopen-mouthedonthestorieshetoldusofhisexploits。
  Therewasnocountryonthefaceoftheglobehehadnotseen,norbattlehehadnotbeenengagedin;hehadkilledmoreMoorsthanthereareinMoroccoandTunis,andfoughtmoresinglecombats,accordingtohisownaccount,thanGarcilaso,DiegoGarciadeParedesandathousandothershenamed,andoutofallhehadcomevictoriouswithoutlosingadropofblood。Ontheotherhandheshowedmarksofwounds,which,thoughtheycouldnotbemadeout,hesaidweregunshotwoundsreceivedindiversencountersandactions。Lastly,withmonstrousimpudenceheusedtosay“you“tohisequalsandeventhosewhoknewwhathewas,anddeclarethathisarmwashisfatherandhisdeedshispedigree,andthatbeingasoldierhewasasgoodasthekinghimself。Andtoaddtotheseswaggeringwayshewasatrifleofamusician,andplayedtheguitarwithsuchaflourishthatsomesaidhemadeitspeak;nordidhisaccomplishmentsendhere,forhewassomethingofapoettoo,andoneverytriflethathappenedinthetownhemadeaballadaleaguelong。
  Thissoldier,then,thatIhavedescribed,thisVicentedelaRoca,thisbravo,gallant,musician,poet,wasoftenseenandwatchedbyLeandrafromawindowofherhousewhichlookedoutontheplaza。Theglitterofhisshowyattiretookherfancy,hisballadsbewitchedherforhegaveawaytwentycopiesofeveryonehemade,thetalesofhisexploitswhichhetoldabouthimselfcametoherears;andinshort,asthedevilnodoubthadarrangedit,shefellinlovewithhimbeforethepresumptionofmakinglovetoherhadsuggesteditselftohim;andasinlove-affairsnonearemoreeasilybroughttoanissuethanthosewhichhavetheinclinationoftheladyforanally,LeandraandVicentecametoanunderstandingwithoutanydifficulty;andbeforeanyofhernumeroussuitorshadanysuspicionofherdesign,shehadalreadycarrieditintoeffect,havingleftthehouseofherdearlybelovedfatherformothershehadnone,anddisappearedfromthevillagewiththesoldier,whocamemoretriumphantlyoutofthisenterprisethanoutofanyofthelargenumberhelaidclaimto。Allthevillageandallwhoheardofitwereamazedattheaffair;Iwasaghast,Anselmothunderstruck,herfatherfullofgrief,herrelationsindignant,theauthoritiesallinaferment,theofficersoftheBrotherhoodinarms。Theyscouredtheroads,theysearchedthewoodsandallquarters,andattheendofthreedaystheyfoundtheflightyLeandrainamountaincave,stripttohershift,androbbedofallthemoneyandpreciousjewelsshehadcarriedawayfromhomewithher。Theybroughtherbacktoherunhappyfather,andquestionedherastohermisfortune,andsheconfessedwithoutpressurethatVicentedelaRocahaddeceivedher,andunderpromiseofmarryingherhadinducedhertoleaveherfather'shouse,ashemeanttotakehertotherichestandmostdelightfulcityinthewholeworld,whichwasNaples;andthatshe,ill-advisedanddeluded,hadbelievedhim,androbbedherfather,andhandedoveralltohimthenightshedisappeared;andthathehadcarriedherawaytoaruggedmountainandshutherupintheeavewheretheyhadfoundher。Shesaid,moreover,thatthesoldier,withoutrobbingherofherhonour,hadtakenfromhereverythingshehad,andmadeoff,leavingherinthecave,athingthatstillfurthersurprisedeverybody。Itwasnoteasyforustocredittheyoungman'scontinence,butsheasserteditwithsuchearnestnessthatithelpedtoconsoleherdistressedfather,whothoughtnothingofwhathadbeentakensincethejewelthatoncelostcanneverberecoveredhadbeenlefttohisdaughter。ThesamedaythatLeandramadeherappearanceherfatherremovedherfromoursightandtookherawaytoshutherupinaconventinatownnearthis,inthehopethattimemaywearawaysomeofthedisgraceshehasincurred。Leandra'syouthfurnishedanexcuseforherfault,atleastwiththosetowhomitwasofnoconsequencewhethershewasgoodorbad;butthosewhoknewhershrewdnessandintelligencedidnotattributehermisdemeanourtoignorancebuttowantonnessandthenaturaldispositionofwomen,whichisforthemostpartflightyandill-regulated。
  Leandrawithdrawnfromsight,Anselmo'seyesgrewblind,oratanyratefoundnothingtolookatthatgavethemanypleasure,andminewereindarknesswithoutarayoflighttodirectthemtoanythingenjoyablewhileLeandrawasaway。Ourmelancholygrewgreater,ourpatiencegrewless;wecursedthesoldier'sfineryandrailedatthecarelessnessofLeandra'sfather。AtlastAnselmoandIagreedtoleavethevillageandcometothisvalley;and,hefeedingagreatflockofsheepofhisown,andIalargeherdofgoatsofmine,wepassourlifeamongthetrees,givingventtooursorrows,togethersingingthefairLeandra'spraises,orupbraidingher,orelsesighingalone,andtoheavenpouringforthourcomplaintsinsolitude。
  Followingourexample,manymoreofLeandra'slovershavecometotheserudemountainsandadoptedourmodeoflife,andtheyaresonumerousthatonewouldfancytheplacehadbeenturnedintothepastoralArcadia,sofullisitofshepherdsandsheep-folds;noristhereaspotinitwherethenameofthefairLeandraisnotheard。
  Hereonecursesherandcallshercapricious,fickle,andimmodest,thereanothercondemnsherasfrailandfrivolous;thispardonsandabsolvesher,thatspurnsandrevilesher;oneextolsherbeauty,anotherassailshercharacter,andinshortallabuseher,andalladoreher,andtosuchapitchhasthisgeneralinfatuationgonethattherearesomewhocomplainofherscornwithouteverhavingexchangedawordwithher,andevensomethatbewailandmourntheragingfeverofjealousy,forwhichshenevergaveanyonecause,for,asIhavealreadysaid,hermisconductwasknownbeforeherpassion。Thereisnonookamongtherocks,nobrookside,noshadebeneaththetreesthatisnothauntedbysomeshepherdtellinghiswoestothebreezes;whereverthereisanechoitrepeatsthenameofLeandra;themountainsringwith“Leandra,““Leandra“murmurthebrooks,andLeandrakeepsusallbewilderedandbewitched,hopingwithouthopeandfearingwithoutknowingwhatwefear。OfallthissillysettheonethatshowstheleastandalsothemostsenseismyrivalAnselmo,forhavingsomanyotherthingstocomplainof,heonlycomplainsofseparation,andtotheaccompanimentofarebeck,whichheplaysadmirably,hesingshiscomplaintsinversesthatshowhisingenuity。Ifollowanother,easier,andtomymindwisercourse,andthatistorailatthefrivolityofwomen,attheirinconstancy,theirdoubledealing,theirbrokenpromises,theirunkeptpledges,andinshortthewantofreflectiontheyshowinfixingtheiraffectionsandinclinations。This,sirs,wasthereasonofwordsandexpressionsImadeuseoftothisgoatwhenIcameupjustnow;forassheisafemaleIhaveacontemptforher,thoughsheisthebestinallmyfold。ThisisthestoryIpromisedtotellyou,andifIhavebeentediousintellingit,Iwillnotbeslowtoserveyou;myhutiscloseby,andIhavefreshmilkanddaintycheesethere,aswellasavarietyoftoothsomefruit,nolesspleasingtotheeyethantothepalate。
  CHAPTERLII
  OFTHEQUARRELTHATDONQUIXOTEHADWITHTHEGOATHERD,TOGETHERWITH
  THERAREADVENTUREOFTHEPENITENTS,WHICHWITHANEXPENDITUREOF
  SWEATHEBROUGHTTOAHAPPYCONCLUSION
  THEgoatherd'stalegavegreatsatisfactiontoallthehearers,andthecanonespeciallyenjoyedit,forhehadremarkedwithparticularattentionthemannerinwhichithadbeentold,whichwasasunlikethemannerofaclownishgoatherdasitwaslikethatofapolishedcitywit;andheobservedthatthecuratehadbeenquiterightinsayingthatthewoodsbredmenoflearning。TheyallofferedtheirservicestoEugeniobuthewhoshowedhimselfmostliberalinthiswaywasDonQuixote,whosaidtohim,“Mostassuredly,brothergoatherd,ifIfoundmyselfinapositiontoattemptanyadventure,Iwould,thisveryinstant,setoutonyourbehalf,andwouldrescueLeandrafromthatconventwherenodoubtsheiskeptagainstherwill,inspiteoftheabbessandallwhomighttrytopreventme,andwouldplaceherinyourhandstodealwithheraccordingtoyourwillandpleasure,observing,however,thelawsofchivalrywhichlaydownthatnoviolenceofanykindistobeofferedtoanydamsel。ButItrustinGodourLordthatthemightofonemalignantenchantermaynotprovesogreatbutthatthepowerofanotherbetterdisposedmayprovesuperiortoit,andthenIpromiseyoumysupportandassistance,asIamboundtodobymyprofession,whichisnoneotherthantogiveaidtotheweakandneedy。“
  Thegoatherdeyedhim,andnoticingDonQuixote'ssorryappearanceandlooks,hewasfilledwithwonder,andaskedthebarber,whowasnexthim,“Senor,whoisthismanwhomakessuchafigureandtalksinsuchastrain?”
  “Whoshoulditbe,“saidthebarber,“butthefamousDonQuixoteofLaMancha,theundoerofinjustice,therighterofwrongs,theprotectorofdamsels,theterrorofgiants,andthewinnerofbattles?”
  “That,“saidthegoatherd,“soundslikewhatonereadsinthebooksoftheknights-errant,whodidallthatyousaythismandoes;
  thoughitismybeliefthateitheryouarejoking,orelsethisgentlemanhasemptylodgingsinhishead。“
  “Youareagreatscoundrel,“saidDonQuixote,“anditisyouwhoareemptyandafool。Iamfullerthaneverwasthewhoresonbitchthatboreyou;“andpassingfromwordstodeeds,hecaughtupaloafthatwasnearhimandsentitfullinthegoatherd'sface,withsuchforcethatheflattenedhisnose;butthegoatherd,whodidnotunderstandjokes,andfoundhimselfroughlyhandledinsuchgoodearnest,payingnorespecttocarpet,tablecloth,ordiners,spranguponDonQuixote,andseizinghimbythethroatwithbothhandswouldnodoubthavethrottledhim,hadnotSanchoPanzathatinstantcometotherescue,andgraspinghimbytheshouldersflunghimdownonthetable,smashingplates,breakingglasses,andupsettingandscatteringeverythingonit。DonQuixote,findinghimselffree,strovetogetontopofthegoatherd,who,withhisfacecoveredwithblood,andsoundlykickedbySancho,wasonallfoursfeelingaboutforoneofthetable-knivestotakeabloodyrevengewith。Thecanonandthecurate,however,preventedhim,butthebarbersocontriveditthathegotDonQuixoteunderhim,andraineddownuponhimsuchashoweroffisticuffsthatthepoorknight'sfacestreamedwithbloodasfreelyashisown。Thecanonandthecuratewereburstingwithlaughter,theofficerswerecaperingwithdelight,andboththeoneandtheotherhissedthemonastheydodogsthatareworryingoneanotherinafight。Sanchoalonewasfrantic,forhecouldnotfreehimselffromthegraspofoneofthecanon'sservants,whokepthimfromgoingtohismaster'sassistance。
  Atlast,whiletheywereall,withtheexceptionofthetwobruiserswhoweremaulingeachother,inhighgleeandenjoyment,theyheardatrumpetsoundanotesodolefulthatitmadethemalllookinthedirectionwhencethesoundseemedtocome。ButtheonethatwasmostexcitedbyhearingitwasDonQuixote,whothoughsorelyagainsthiswillhewasunderthegoatherd,andsomethingmorethanprettywellpummelled,saidtohim,“Brotherdevilforitisimpossiblebutthatthoumustbeonesincethouhasthadmightandstrengthenoughtoovercomemine,Iasktheetoagreetoatruceforbutonehourforthesolemnnoteofyondertrumpetthatfallsonourearsseemstometosummonmetosomenewadventure。“Thegoatherd,whowasbythistimetiredofpummellingandbeingpummelled,releasedhimatonce,andDonQuixoterisingtohisfeetandturninghiseyestothequarterwherethesoundhadbeenheard,suddenlysawcomingdowntheslopeofahillseveralmencladinwhitelikepenitents。
  Thefactwasthatthecloudshadthatyearwithheldtheirmoisturefromtheearth,andinallthevillagesofthedistricttheywereorganisingprocessions,rogations,andpenances,imploringGodtoopenthehandsofhismercyandsendtherain;andtothisendthepeopleofavillagethatwashardbyweregoinginprocessiontoaholyhermitagetherewasononesideofthatvalley。DonQuixotewhenhesawthestrangegarbofthepenitents,withoutreflectinghowoftenhehadseenitbefore,tookitintohisheadthatthiswasacaseofadventure,andthatitfelltohimaloneasaknight-erranttoengageinit;andhewasallthemoreconfirmedinthisnotion,bytheideathatanimagedrapedinblacktheyhadwiththemwassomeillustriousladythatthesevillainsanddiscourteousthieveswerecarryingoffbyforce。AssoonasthisoccurredtohimheranwithallspeedtoRocinantewhowasgrazingatlarge,andtakingthebridleandthebucklerfromthesaddle-bow,hehadhimbridledinaninstant,andcallingtoSanchoforhisswordhemountedRocinante,bracedhisbuckleronhisarm,andinaloudvoiceexclaimedtothosewhostoodby,“Now,noblecompany,yeshallseehowimportantitisthatthereshouldbeknightsintheworldprofessingtheofknight-errantry;now,Isay,yeshallsee,bythedeliveranceofthatworthyladywhoisbornecaptivethere,whetherknights-errantdeservetobeheldinestimation,“andsosayinghebroughthislegstobearonRocinante-
  forhehadnospurs-andatafullcanterforinallthisveracioushistoryweneverreadofRocinantefairlygallopingsetofftoencounterthepenitents,thoughthecurate,thecanon,andthebarberrantopreventhim。Butitwasoutoftheirpower,nordidheevenstopfortheshoutsofSanchocallingafterhim,“Whereareyougoing,SenorDonQuixote?WhatdevilshavepossessedyoutosetyouonagainstourCatholicfaith?Plaguetakeme!mind,thatisaprocessionofpenitents,andtheladytheyarecarryingonthatstandthereistheblessedimageoftheimmaculateVirgin。Takecarewhatyouaredoing,senor,forthistimeitmaybesafelysaidyoudon'tknowwhatyouareabout。“Sancholabouredinvain,forhismasterwassobentoncomingtoquarterswiththesesheetedfiguresandreleasingtheladyinblackthathedidnothearaword;andevenhadheheard,hewouldnothaveturnedbackifthekinghadorderedhim。HecameupwiththeprocessionandreinedinRocinante,whowasalreadyanxiousenoughtoslackenspeedalittle,andinahoarse,excitedvoiceheexclaimed,“Youwhohideyourfaces,perhapsbecauseyouarenotgoodsubjects,payattentionandlistentowhatIamabouttosaytoyou。“Thefirsttohaltwerethosewhowerecarryingtheimage,andoneofthefourecclesiasticswhowerechantingtheLitany,struckbythestrangefigureofDonQuixote,theleannessofRocinante,andtheotherludicrouspeculiaritiesheobserved,saidinreplytohim,“Brother,ifyouhaveanythingtosaytoussayitquickly,forthesebrethrenarewhippingthemselves,andwecannotstop,norisitreasonableweshouldstoptohearanything,unlessindeeditisshortenoughtobesaidintwowords。“
  “Iwillsayitinone,“repliedDonQuixote,“anditisthis;thatatonce,thisveryinstant,yereleasethatfairladywhosetearsandsadaspectshowplainlythatyearecarryingheroffagainstherwill,andthatyehavecommittedsomescandalousoutrageagainsther;andI,whowasbornintotheworldtoredressallsuchlikewrongs,willnotpermityoutoadvanceanotherstepuntilyouhaverestoredtoherthelibertyshepinesforanddeserves。“
  Fromthesewordsallthehearersconcludedthathemustbeamadman,andbegantolaughheartily,andtheirlaughteractedlikegunpowderonDonQuixote'sfury,fordrawinghisswordwithoutanotherwordhemadearushatthestand。Oneofthosewhosupportedit,leavingtheburdentohiscomrades,advancedtomeethim,flourishingaforkedstickthathehadforproppingupthestandwhenresting,andwiththishecaughtamightycutDonQuixotemadeathimthatsevereditintwo;butwiththeportionthatremainedinhishandhedealtsuchathwackontheshoulderofDonQuixote'sswordarmwhichthebucklercouldnotprotectagainsttheclownishassaultthatpoorDonQuixotecametothegroundinasadplight。
  SanchoPanza,whowascomingonclosebehindpuffingandblowing,seeinghimfall,criedouttohisassailantnottostrikehimagain,forhewaspoorenchantedknight,whohadneverharmedanyoneallthedaysofhislife;butwhatcheckedtheclownwas,notSancho'sshouting,butseeingthatDonQuixotedidnotstirhandorfoot;andso,fancyinghehadkilledhim,hehastilyhitcheduphistunicunderhisgirdleandtooktohisheelsacrossthecountrylikeadeer。
  BythistimeallDonQuixote'scompanionshadcomeuptowherehelay;buttheprocessionistsseeingthemcomerunning,andwiththemtheofficersoftheBrotherhoodwiththeircrossbows,apprehendedmischief,andclusteringroundtheimage,raisedtheirhoods,andgraspedtheirscourges,asthepriestsdidtheirtapers,andawaitedtheattack,resolvedtodefendthemselvesandeventotaketheoffensiveagainsttheirassailantsiftheycould。Fortune,however,arrangedthematterbetterthantheyexpected,forallSanchodidwastoflinghimselfonhismaster'sbody,raisingoverhimthemostdolefulandlaughablelamentationthateverwasheard,forhebelievedhewasdead。Thecuratewasknowntoanothercuratewhowalkedintheprocession,andtheirrecognitionofoneanothersetatresttheapprehensionsofbothparties;thefirstthentoldtheotherintwowordswhoDonQuixotewas,andheandthewholetroopofpenitentswenttoseeifthepoorgentlemanwasdead,andheardSanchoPanzasaying,withtearsinhiseyes,“Ohflowerofchivalry,thatwithoneblowofastickhastendedthecourseofthywell-spentlife!Ohprideofthyrace,honourandgloryofallLaMancha,nay,ofalltheworld,thatforwantoftheewillbefullofevil-doers,nolongerinfearofpunishmentfortheirmisdeeds!Ohthou,generousabovealltheAlexanders,sinceforonlyeightmonthsofservicethouhastgivenmethebestislandtheseagirdsorsurrounds!Humblewiththeproud,haughtywiththehumble,encountererofdangers,endurerofoutrages,enamouredwithoutreason,imitatorofthegood,scourgeofthewicked,enemyofthemean,inshort,knight-errant,whichisallthatcanbesaid!”
  AtthecriesandmoansofSancho,DonQuixotecametohimself,andthefirstwordhesaidwas,“Hewholivesseparatedfromyou,sweetestDulcinea,hasgreatermiseriestoendurethanthese。Aidme,friendSancho,tomounttheenchantedcart,forIamnotinaconditiontopressthesaddleofRocinante,asthisshoulderisallknockedtopieces。“
  “ThatIwilldowithallmyheart,senor,“saidSancho;“andletusreturntoourvillagewiththesegentlemen,whoseekyourgood,andtherewewillprepareformakinganothersally,whichmayturnoutmoreprofitableandcreditabletous。“
  “Thouartright,Sancho,“returnedDonQuixote;“Itwillbewisetoletthemaligninfluenceofthestarswhichnowprevailspassoff。“
  Thecanon,thecurate,andthebarbertoldhimhewouldactverywiselyindoingashesaid;andso,highlyamusedatSanchoPanza'ssimplicities,theyplacedDonQuixoteinthecartasbefore。Theprocessiononcemoreformeditselfinorderandproceededonitsroad;
  thegoatherdtookhisleaveoftheparty;theofficersoftheBrotherhooddeclinedtogoanyfarther,andthecuratepaidthemwhatwasduetothem;thecanonbeggedthecuratetolethimknowhowDonQuixotedid,whetherhewascuredofhismadnessorstillsufferedfromit,andthenbeggedleavetocontinuehisjourney;inshort,theyallseparatedandwenttheirways,leavingtothemselvesthecurateandthebarber,DonQuixote,SanchoPanza,andthegoodRocinante,whoregardedeverythingwithasgreatresignationashismaster。ThecarteryokedhisoxenandmadeDonQuixotecomfortableonatrussofhay,andathisusualdeliberatepacetooktheroadthecuratedirected,andattheendofsixdaystheyreachedDonQuixote'svillage,andentereditaboutthemiddleoftheday,whichitsohappenedwasaSunday,andthepeoplewereallintheplaza,throughwhichDonQuixote'scartpassed。Theyallflockedtoseewhatwasinthecart,andwhentheyrecognisedtheirtownsmantheywerefilledwithamazement,andaboyranofftobringthenewstohishousekeeperandhisniecethattheirmasterandunclehadcomebackallleanandyellowandstretchedonatrussofhayonanox-cart。
  Itwaspiteoustohearthecriesthetwogoodladiesraised,howtheybeattheirbreastsandpouredoutfreshmaledictionsonthoseaccursedbooksofchivalry;allwhichwasrenewedwhentheysawDonQuixotecominginatthegate。
  AtthenewsofDonQuixote'sarrivalSanchoPanza'swifecamerunning,forshebythistimeknewthatherhusbandhadgoneawaywithhimashissquire,andonseeingSancho,thefirstthingsheaskedhimwasiftheasswaswell。Sanchorepliedthathewas,betterthanhismasterwas。
  “ThanksbetoGod,“saidshe,“forbeingsogoodtome;butnowtellme,myfriend,whathaveyoumadebyyoursquirings?Whatgownhaveyoubroughtmeback?Whatshoesforyourchildren?”
  “Ibringnothingofthatsort,wife,“saidSancho;“thoughIbringotherthingsofmoreconsequenceandvalue。“
  “Iamverygladofthat,“returnedhiswife;“showmethesethingsofmorevalueandconsequence,myfriend;forIwanttoseethemtocheermyheartthathasbeensosadandheavyalltheseagesthatyouhavebeenaway。“
  “Iwillshowthemtoyouathome,wife,“saidSancho;“becontentforthepresent;forifitpleaseGodthatweshouldagaingoonourtravelsinsearchofadventures,youwillsoonseemeacount,orgovernorofanisland,andthatnotoneofthoseeverydayones,butthebestthatistobehad。“
  “Heavengrantit,husband,“saidshe,“forindeedwehaveneedofit。Buttellme,what'sthisaboutislands,forIdon'tunderstandit?”
  “Honeyisnotforthemouthoftheass,“returnedSancho;“allingoodtimethoushaltsee,wife-nay,thouwiltbesurprisedtohearthyselfcalled'yourladyship'byallthyvassals。“
  “Whatareyoutalkingabout,Sancho,withyourladyships,islands,andvassals?”returnedTeresaPanza-forsoSancho'swifewascalled,thoughtheywerenotrelations,forinLaManchaitiscustomaryforwivestotaketheirhusbands'surnames。
  “Don'tbeinsuchahurrytoknowallthis,Teresa,“saidSancho;
  “itisenoughthatIamtellingyouthetruth,soshutyourmouth。ButImaytellyouthismuchbytheway,thatthereisnothingintheworldmoredelightfulthantobeapersonofconsideration,squiretoaknight-errant,andaseekerofadventures。Tobesuremostofthoseonefindsdonotendaspleasantlyasonecouldwish,foroutofahundred,ninety-ninewillturnoutcrossandcontrary。Iknowitbyexperience,foroutofsomeIcameblanketed,andoutofothersbelaboured。Still,forallthat,itisafinethingtobeonthelook-outforwhatmayhappen,crossingmountains,searchingwoods,climbingrocks,visitingcastles,puttingupatinns,allatfreequarters,anddeviltakethemaraveditopay。“
  WhilethisconversationpassedbetweenSanchoPanzaandhiswife,DonQuixote'shousekeeperandniecetookhiminandundressedhimandlaidhiminhisoldbed。Heeyedthemaskance,andcouldnotmakeoutwherehewas。Thecuratechargedhisniecetobeverycarefultomakeherunclecomfortableandtokeepawatchoverhimlestheshouldmakehisescapefromthemagain,tellingherwhattheyhadbeenobligedtodotobringhimhome。Onthisthepaironcemorelifteduptheirvoicesandrenewedtheirmaledictionsuponthebooksofchivalry,andimploredheaventoplungetheauthorsofsuchliesandnonsenseintothemidstofthebottomlesspit。Theywere,inshort,keptinanxietyanddreadlesttheiruncleandmastershouldgivethemtheslipthemomenthefoundhimselfsomewhatbetter,andastheyfearedsoitfellout。
  Buttheauthorofthishistory,thoughhehasdevotedresearchandindustrytothediscoveryofthedeedsachievedbyDonQuixoteinhisthirdsally,hasbeenunabletoobtainanyinformationrespectingthem,atanyratederivedfromauthenticdocuments;
  traditionhasmerelypreservedinthememoryofLaManchathefactthatDonQuixote,thethirdtimehesalliedforthfromhishome,betookhimselftoSaragossa,wherehewaspresentatsomefamousjoustswhichcameoffinthatcity,andthathehadadventuresthereworthyofhisvalourandhighintelligence。Ofhisendanddeathhecouldlearnnoparticulars,norwouldhehaveascertaineditorknownofit,ifgoodfortunehadnotproducedanoldphysicianforhimwhohadinhispossessionaleadenbox,which,accordingtohisaccount,hadbeendiscoveredamongthecrumblingfoundationsofanancienthermitagethatwasbeingrebuilt;inwhichboxwerefoundcertainparchmentmanuscriptsinGothiccharacter,butinCastilianverse,containingmanyofhisachievements,andsettingforththebeautyofDulcinea,theformofRocinante,thefidelityofSanchoPanza,andtheburialofDonQuixotehimself,togetherwithsundryepitaphsandeulogiesonhislifeandcharacter;butallthatcouldbereadanddecipheredwerethosewhichthetrustworthyauthorofthisnewandunparalleledhistoryherepresents。AndthesaidauthorasksofthosethatshallreaditnothinginreturnforthevasttoilwhichithascosthiminexaminingandsearchingtheMancheganarchivesinordertobringittolight,savethattheygivehimthesamecreditthatpeopleofsensegivetothebooksofchivalrythatpervadetheworldandaresopopular;forwiththishewillconsiderhimselfamplypaidandfullysatisfied,andwillbeencouragedtoseekoutandproduceotherhistories,ifnotastruthful,atleastequalininventionandnotlessentertaining。Thefirstwordswrittenontheparchmentfoundintheleadenboxwerethese:
  THEACADEMICIANSOF
  ARGAMASILLA,AVILLAGEOF
  LAMANCHA,ONTHELIFEANDDEATH
  OFDONQUIXOTEOFLAMANCHA,HOCSCRIPSERUNT
  MONICONGO,ACADEMICIANOFARGAMASILLA,ONTHETOMBOFDONQUIXOTE
  EPITAPH
  ThescatterbrainthatgaveLaManchamoreRichspoilsthanJason's;whoapointsokeenHadtohiswit,andhappierfarhadbeenIfhiswit'sweathercockablunterbore;
  ThearmrenownedfarasGaeta'sshore,Cathay,andallthelandsthatliebetween;
  ThemusediscreetandterribleinmienAseverwroteonbrassindaysofyore;
  HewhosurpassedtheAmadisesall,AndwhoasnaughttheGalaorsaccounted,Supportedbyhisloveandgallantry:
  WhomadetheBelianisessingsmall,AndsoughtrenownonRocinantemounted;
  Here,underneaththiscoldstone,dothhelie。
  PANIAGUADO,ACADEMICIANOFARGAMASILLA,INLAUDEMDULCINEAEDELTOBOSO
  SONNET
  She,whosefullfeaturesmaybeheredescried,High-bosomed,withabearingofdisdain,IsDulcinea,sheforwhominvainThegreatDonQuixoteofLaManchasighed。
  Forher,Toboso'squeen,fromsidetosideHetraversedthegrimsierra,thechampaignOfAranjuez,andMontiel'sfamousplain:
  OnRocinanteoftawearyride。
  Malignantplanets,crueldestiny,Pursuedthemboth,thefairManchegandame,Andtheunconqueredstarofchivalry。
  NoryouthnorbeautysavedherfromtheclaimOfdeath;hepaidlove'sbitterpenalty,Andleftthemarbletopreservehisname。
  CAPRICHOSO,AMOSTACUTEACADEMICIAN
  OFARGAMASILLA,INPRAISEOFROCINANTE,STEEDOFDONQUIXOTEOFLAMANCHA
  SONNET
  Onthatproudthroneofdiamantinesheen,Whichtheblood-reekingfeetofMarsdegrade,ThemadManchegan'sbannernowhathbeenByhiminallitsbraverydisplayed。
  TherehathhehunghisarmsandtrenchantbladeWherewith,achievingdeedstillnowunseen,Heslays,layslow,cleaves,hews;butarthathmadeAnovelstyleforournewpaladin。
  IfAmadisbetheproudboastofGaul,IfbyhisprogenythefameofGreeceThroughalltheregionsoftheearthbespread,GreatQuixotecrownedingrimBellona'shallTo-dayexaltsLaManchaoverthese,AndaboveGreeceorGaulsheholdsherhead。
  Norendshisgloryhere,forhisgoodsteedDothBrilladorandBayardfarexceed;
  AsmettledsteedscomparedwithRocinante,Thereputationtheyhavewonisscanty。
  BURLADOR,ACADEMICIANOFARGAMASILLA,ONSANCHOPANZA
  SONNET
  TheworthySanchoPanzahereyousee;
  Agreatsouloncewasinthatbodysmall,NorwastheresquireuponthisearthlyballSoplainandsimple,orofguilesofree。
  WithinanaceofbeingCountwashe,AndwouldhavebeenbutforthespiteandgallOfthisvileage,meanandilliberal,Thatcannotevenletadonkeybe。
  Formountedonanassexcusetheword,ByRocinante'ssidethisgentlesquireWaswonthiswanderingmastertoattend。
  DelusivehopesthatlurethecommonherdWithpromisesofease,theheart'sdesire,Inshadows,dreams,andsmokeyealwaysend。
  CACHIDIABLO,ACADEMICIANOFARGAMASILLA,ONTHETOMBOFDONQUIXOTE
  EPITAPH
  Theknightliesherebelow,Ill-errantandbruisedsore,WhomRocinanteboreInhiswanderingstoandfro。
  BythesideoftheknightislaidStolidmanSanchotoo,ThanwhomasquiremoretrueWasnotintheesquiretrade。
  TIQUITOC,ACADEMICIANOFARGAMASILLA,ONTHETOMBOFDULCINEADELTOBOSO
  EPITAPH
  HereDulcinealies。
  Plumpwassheandrobust:
  Nowsheisashesanddust:
  Theendofallfleshthatdies。
  Aladyofhighdegree,Withtheportofaloftydame,AndthegreatDonQuixote'sflame,Andtheprideofhervillagewasshe。
  Thesewerealltheversesthatcouldbedeciphered;therest,thewritingbeingworm-eaten,werehandedovertooneoftheAcademicianstomakeouttheirmeaningconjecturally。Wehavebeeninformedthatatthecostofmanysleeplessnightsandmuchtoilhehassucceeded,andthathemeanstopublishtheminhopesofDonQuixote'sthirdsally。
  “Forsealtrocanteraconmigliorplectro。“