CHAPTERXXXVI。
ANIGHT-WATCH。
Whenhereachedthebottomofthehill,thereatthegatewasForgue,walkingupanddown,apparentlywaitingforhim。Hewouldhavepassedhim,butForguesteppedinfrontofhim。
“Grant,“hesaid,“itiswellweshouldunderstandeachother!”
“Ithink,mylord,ifyoudonotyetunderstandme,itcanscarcelybemyfault。“
“Whatdidmyfathersay?”
“Iwoulddelivertoyourlordshipamessagehegavemeforyoubutfortworeasons——one,thatIbelievehechangedhismindthoughhedidnotpreciselysayso,andtheother,thatIwillnotservehimoryouinthematter。“
“Thenyouintendneithertomeddlenormake?”
“Thatismyaffair,mylord。Iwillnottakeyourlordshipintomyconfidence。“
“Don'tbeunreasonable,now!Dogetoffyourhighhorse。Can'tyouunderstandafellow?Everybodycan'tkeephistemperasyoudo!I
meanthegirlnoharm。“
“Iwillnottalkwithyouabouther。Andwhateveryouinsistonsayingtome,Iwilluseagainstyouwithoutscruple,shouldoccasionoffer。“
AshespokehecaughtalookonForgue'sfacewhichrevealedsomehowthatitwasnotforhimhehadbeenwaiting,butforEppy。Heturnedandwentbacktowardsthecastle:hemightmeether!Forguecalledafterhim,buthepaidnoheed。
Ashehastenedupthehill,notsomuchastherustleofbirdormousedidhehear。Helingeredaboutthetopoftheroadforhalfanhour,thenturnedandwenttothecobbler's。
HefoundDooryingreatdistress;forshewasnotmerelysoretroubledaboutherson'schild,butAndrewwasinbedandsufferinggreatpain。ThemomentDonalsawhimhewentforthedoctor。Hesaidaribwasbroken,boundhimup,andgavehimsomemedicine。Alldonethatcouldbedone,Donalsatdowntowatchbesidehim。
Helaystill,withclosedeyesandwhiteface。Sopatientwashethathisverypainfoundutteranceinasortofblindsmile。Donaldidnotknowmuchaboutpain:hecouldreadinAndrew'slookhisdevotiontothewillofhimwhosebeingwashispeace,buthedidnotknowabovewhatsufferinghisfaithliftedhim,andheldhimhoveringyetsafe。Hisfaithmadehimonewithlife,theeternalLife——andthatissalvation。
Inclosestcontactwiththedivine,theoriginalrelationrestored,thesourceoncemoreholdingitsissue,thedivinelovepouringitselfintothedeepestvesseloftheman'sbeing,itselfbutavesselfortheholdingofthedivineranddivinest,whocanwonderifkeenestpainshouldnotbeabletoquenchthesmileoftheprostrate!Fewindeedhavereachedthepointofhealthtolaughatdisease,butaretherenone?Letnotamansaybecausehecannotthatnoonecan。
Theoldwomanwasverycalm,onlyeverynowandthenshewouldliftherhandsandshakeherhead,andlookasiftheuniverseweregoingtopieces,becauseherhusbandlaytherebythestrokeoftheungodly。Andifhehadlainthereforgotten,thenindeedtheuniversewouldhavebeengoingtopieces!Whenhecoughed,everypangseemedtogothroughherbodytoherheart。Loveisaslovelyintheoldasintheyoung——lovelierwheninthem,asoften,itismoresympatheticandunselfish——thatis,moretrue。
DonalwrotetoMrs。Brookesthathewouldnotbehomethatnight;
andhavingfoundamessengerattheinn,settledhimselftowatchbyhisfriend。
Thehoursglidedquietlyover。Andrewsleptagooddeal,andseemedtohavepleasantvisions。Hewasfindingyetmoresaving。Nowandthenhislipswouldmoveasifhewereholdingtalkwithsomefriendlysoul。OnceDonalheardthemurmuredwords,“Lord,I'ma'
yerain;“andnotedthathissleepgrewdeeperthereafter。Hedidnotwaketillthedaybegantodawn。Thenheaskedforsomewater。
SeeingDonal,anddiviningthathehadbeenbyhisbedsideallthenight,hethankedhimwithasmileandalittlenod——whichsomehowbroughttohismemorycertainwordsAndrewhadspokenonanotheroccasion:“There'sane,an'there'sa';an'thea''sane,an'theane'sa'。“
WhenDonalreachedthecastle,hefoundhisbreakfastandMrs。
Brookeswaitingforhim。ShetoldhimthatEppy,meetingherinthepassagethenightbefore,hadburstintotears,butshecouldgetnothingoutofher,andhadsenthertoherroom;thismorningshehadnotcomedownatthepropertime,andwhenshesentafterher,didnotcome:shewentupherself,andfoundherdeterminedtoleavethecastlethatveryday;shewasnowpackingherthingstogo,nordidsheseeanygoodintryingtopreventher。
Donalsaidifshewouldgohome,therewasplentyforhertodothere;oldpeople'sboneswerenoteasytomend,anditwouldbesometimebeforehergrandfatherwaswellagain!
Mrs。Brookessaidshewouldnotkeephernowifshebeggedtostay;
shewasafraidshewouldcometogrief,andwouldrathershewenthome;shewouldtakeherhomeherself。
“Thelassisnoanillane,“sheadded:“butshedisnakenwhatshewudbeat。Shewantssomeo'theLord'saindiscipleen,I'mthinkin!”
“An'thatyemaybesureshe'llget,mistressBrookes!”saidDonal。
Eppywasquitereadytogohomeandhelpnursehergrandfather。Shethoughtherconductmustbythistimebethetalkofthecastle,andwasinmortalterroroflordMorven。Allthedomesticsfearedhim——itwouldbehardtosaypreciselywhy;itcameinpartofseeinghimsoseldomthathehadalmostcometorepresenttheghostsomesaidlivedintheinvisibleroomandhauntedthecastle。
ItwastheeasierforEppytogohomethathergrandmotherneededher,andthathergrandfatherwouldnotbeabletosaymuchtoher。
Shewasanaffectionategirl,andyethergrandfather'sconditionrousedinhernoindignation;fortheloveofbeinglovedissuchablindingthing,thatthegreatestinjusticefromthedearesttothenextdearestwillbysomenaturesbereadilytolerated。Godhelpus!
weareameanset——andmeanestthemanwhoisablesttojustifyhimself!
Mrs。Brookes,havingpreparedaheavybasketofgoodthingsforEppytocarryhometohergrandmother,andmadeittheheavierforthesakeofpunishingherwiththeweightofit,setoutwithher,sayingtoherself,“ThejaudwantsawheenharderwarknorIhaehaudentillherhan',an'doobtlessit'spreparin'forher!”
Shewaskindlyreceived,withoutawordofreproach,byhergrandmother;thesufferer,forgetfulof,orforgivingherwordsofrejectioninthegarden,smiledwhenshecamenearhisbedside;andsheturnedawaytoconcealthetearsshecouldnotrepress。Shelovedhergrand-parents,andshelovedtheyounglord,andshecouldnotgetthetwolovestodwelltogetherpeaceablyinhermind——acommondifficultywithourweak,easilydivided,hardlyunitednatures——frangible,friable,readilydistorted!ItneedsnolessthanGodhimself,notonlytouniteustooneanother,buttomakeawholeoftheill-fitting,roughlydisjointedportionsofourindividualbeings。Tearfullybutdiligentlyshesetaboutherduties;andnotonlytheheart,butthelimbsandjointsofhergrandmotherwererelievedbyherpresence;whiledoubtlesssheherselffoundsomerefugefromanxiousthoughtintheservicesherendered。Whatshesawasherprobablefuture,Icannotsay;onehourherconfidenceinherlover'sfaithfulnesswouldbecomplete,thenextitwouldbedashedwithhugeblotsofuncertainty;buthergrandmotherrejoicedoverherasoutofharm'sway。
CHAPTERXXXVII。
LORDFORGUEANDLADYARCTURA。
Atthecastlethingsfellintotheiroldroutine。NothinghadbeenarrangedbetweenlordForgueandEppy,andheseemedcontentthatitshouldbeso。Mrs。Brookestoldhimthatshehadgonehome:hemadeneitherremarknorinquiry,manifestingnointerest。
Itwouldbewellhisfathershouldnotseeitnecessarytopushthingsfarther!Hedidnotwanttoturnoutofthecastle!Withoutmeans,whatwashetodo?Themarriagecouldnotbeto-dayorto-morrow!andinthemeantimehecouldseeEppy,perhapsmoreeasilythanatthecastle!Hewouldcontrive!Hewassorryhehadhurttheoldfellow,buthecouldnothelpit!hewouldgetintheway!Thingswouldhavebeenmuchworseifhehadnotgotfirsttohisfather!Hewouldwaitabit,andseewhatwouldturnup!Forthetutor-fellow,hemustnotquarrelwithhimdownright!Nogoodwouldcomeofthat!Intheendhewouldhavehisway!andthatinspiteofthemall!
Butwhathereallywantedhedidnotknow。Heonlyknew,orimagined,thathewasoverheadandearsinlovewiththegirl:whatwastocomeofitwasallintheclouds。Hehadsaidhemeanttomarryher;buttothatstatementhehadbeendriven,morethanheknew,bythedesiretoescapethecontemptofthetutorhescorned;
andherejoicedthathehadatleastdiscomfitedhim。HeknewthatifhedidmarryEppy,oranyoneelseofwhomhisfatherdidnotapprove,hehadnothingtolookforbutabsolutepoverty,forheknewnowaytoearnmoney;hewasthereforeunpreparedtodefyhimimmediately——whateverhemightdobyandby。Hesaidtohimselfsometimesthathewasaswillingasanymantoworkforhiswifeifonlyheknewhow;butwhenhesaidso,hadhealwaysaclearvisionofEppyasthewifeinprospect?Alas,itwouldtakeyearstomakehimabletoearnevenawoman'swages!Itwouldbeafinethingforalordtolabourlikeacommonmanforthesupportofachildofthepeopleforwhomhehadsacrificedeverything;butwherewasthepossibility?Whenthoughtslikethesegrewtoomanyforhim,Forguewishedhehadneverseenthegirl。Hisheartwouldimmediatelyreproachhim;immediatelyhewouldcomforthisconsciencewiththereflectionthattowishhehadneverseenherwasaverydifferentthingfromwishingtoactasifhehad。Heloafedaboutinherneighbourhoodasmuchashedared,hauntedthehouseitselfinthetwilight,andatnightevenventuredsometimestocreepupthestair,butforsometimeheneverevensawher:fordaysEppyneverwentoutofdoorsexceptintothegarden。
Thoughshehadnotspokenofit,Arcturahadhadmorethanasuspicionthatsomethingwasgoingonbetweenhercousinandtheprettymaid;forthelittlewindowofhersittingroompartiallyoverlookedacertainretiredspotfavouredofthelovers;andafterEppyleftthehouse,Davie,thoughhedidnotassociatethefacts,notedthatshewasmorecheerfulthanbefore。ButtherewasnoenlargementofintercoursebetweenherandForgue。Theyknewitwasthewishoftheheadofthehousethattheyshouldmarry,buttheearlhadbeenwiseenoughtosaynothingopenlytoeitherofthem:
hebelievedthethingwouldhaveabetterchanceonitsownmerits;
andasyettheyhadshownnosignofdrawingtoeachother。Itmight,perhaps,havebeenotherwiseonhisparthadnottheyounglordbeentakenwiththeprettyhousemaid,thoughatfirsthehadthoughtofnothingmorethanalittlepassingflirtation,reckoninghisadvantagewithherbytheheightonwhichhestoodinhisownregard;butitwasfromnojealousythatArcturawasrelievedbythedepartureofEppy。Shehadneverseenanythingattractiveinhercousin,andherreligiousimpressionswouldhavebeenenoughtoprotectherfromanydrawingtohim:hadtheynotpoisonedinhereventhevirtueofcommonhouse-friendlinesstowardaverydifferentman?ThesenseofreliefshehadwhenEppywent,layinbeingdeliveredfromthepresenceofsomethingclandestine,withwhichshecouldnotinterferesofarastoconfessknowledgeofit。Ithadrenderedheruneasy;shehadfeltshyanduncomfortable。OnceortwiceshehadbeenonthepointofsayingtoMrs。BrookesthatshethoughthercousinandEppyveryoddlyfamiliar,buthadfailedofcourage。Itwasnowonderthereforethatsheshouldbemorecheerful。
CHAPTERXXXVIII。
ARCTURAANDSOPHIA。
Aboutthistimeherfriend,MissCarmichael,returnedfromaratherlengthenedvisit。ButaftertheatonementthathadtakenplacebetweenherandDonal,itwaswithsomeanxietythatladyArcturalookedforwardtoseeingher。Sheshrankfromtellingherwhathadcomeaboutthroughthewonderfulpoem,asshethoughtit,whichhadsobewitchedher。Sheshranktoofromshowinghertheverses:theywerenotofakind,shewassure,tomeetwithrecognitionfromher。
Sheknewshewouldmakegameofthem,andthatnotgood-humouredlylikeKate,whoyetconfessedtosomebeautyinthem。Forherself,thepoemandthestudyofitsgrowthhadministeredsomuchnourishmenttocertainhealthypoeticseedslyinghardanddryinherbosom,thattheyhadbeguntosprout,indeedtoshootrapidlyup。Donal'spoemcouldnotfailthereforetobetoherthenceforwardsomethingsacred。Arelatedresultalsowasthatithadmadeherawareofsomethingverydefectiveinherfriend'sconstitution:shedidnotknowwhetherinherconstitutionmental,moral,orspiritual:probablyitwasinallthree。Doubtless,thoughtArctura,sheknewmostthingsbetterthanshe,andcertainlyhadagreatdealmorecommonsense;but,ontheotherhand,wasshenotsatisfiedwithfarlessthanshecouldbesatisfiedwith?Tobelieveasherfriendbelievedwouldnotsaveherfrominsanity!Shemustbemadeonasmallerscaleofnecessitiesthanherself!HowwassheabletolovetheGodshesaidshebelievedin?Godshouldatleastbeasbeautifulashiscreaturecouldimaginehim!ButMissCarmichaelwouldsayherpoorearthlyimaginationwasnottooccupyitselfwithsuchahighsubject!Oh,whywouldnotGodtellhersomethingabouthimself——somethingdirect——straightfromhimself?Whyshouldsheonlyhearofhimatsecondhand——alwaysandalways?
Alas,poorgirl!secondhand?Fivehundredthhandrather?AndshemighthavebeenallthetimecommuningwiththeveryGodhimself,manifestinhisownshape,whichisoursalso!——allthetimelearningthatherimaginationcouldnever——nottosayoriginate,but,whenpresented,receiveintoittheunspeakableexcessofhisloveliness,ofhisabsolutedevotionandtendernesstothecreatures,thechildrenofhisfather!
IntheabsenceofMissCarmichaelshehadthoughtwithlessoppressionofmanythingsthatinherpresenceappearedghastly-hopeless;nowintheprospectofherreappearanceshebegantofeelwickedindaringathoughtofherownconcerningtheGodthatwasnearertoherthanherthoughts!Suchanunhealthymasteryhadshegainedoverher!WhatiftheymetDonal,andshesawhersmiletohimasshealwaysdidnow!Onethingshewasdeterminedupon——andhereinlaythepledgeofhercomingfreedom!——thatshewouldnotbehavetohimintheleastotherwisethanherwont。Ifshewouldbeworthy,shemustbestraightforward!
Donalandshehadneverhadanyfurthertalk,muchasshewouldhavelikedit,uponthingspoetic。Asamatterofsupposedduty——whereshehadgottheideaIdonotknow——certainlynotfromMissCarmichael,seeingsheapprovedoflittlepoetrybutthatofYoung,Cowper,Pollok,andJamesMontgomery——shehadbeenreadingtheParadiseLost,andwishedmuchtospeakofittoDonal,buthadnotthecourage。
WhenMissCarmichaelcame,sheatonceperceivedadifferenceinher,anditsetherthinking。Shewasnotonetodoorsayanythingwithoutthinkingoveritfirst。Shehadsuchathoroughconfidenceinherjudgment,andsuchapleasureinexercisingit,thatshealmostalwaysrejectedanimpulse。Judgmentwasonthethrone;
feelingunderthefootstool。TherewassomethinginArctura'scarriagewhichremindedheroftheonlytimewhenshehadstooduponherrankwithher。Thiswasonceshemadearemarkdisparagingafavouritedog:fortheanimalsArcturacouldbraveevenherspiritualnightmare:theywerenotunderthewrathandcurselikemenandwomen,thereforemightbedefended!ShehadonthatoccasionshownsomuchoffencethatMissCarmichaelsaw,ifshewastokeepherinfluenceoverher,shemustavoidrousingthephantomofrankindefenceofprejudice。Shewasnowthereforecareful——saidnexttonothing,butwatchedherkeenly,andnotthelessslylythatshelookedherstraightintheface。Thereisanefforttoseeintothesoulofothersthatisessentiallytreacherous;wherever,friendshipbeingtheostensiblebond,inquiryoutrunsregard,itistreachery——anendeavourtograspmorethanthefriendwouldknowinglygive。
Theywentforalittlewalkinthegrounds;astheyreturnedtheymetDonalgoingoutwithDavie。ArcturaandDonalpassedwithabowandafriendlysmile;Daviestoppedandspoketotheladies,thenboundedafterhisfriend。
“Haveyouattendedthescripture-lessonregularly?”askedMissCarmichael。
“Yes;Ihavebeenabsentonlyonce,Ithink,sinceyouleft,“
repliedArctura。
“Good,mydear!Youhavenotbeenleavingyourlambtothewolf!”
“Ibegintodoubtifhebeawolf。“
“Ah!doeshewearhissheepskinsowell?Areyousureheisnotplottingtodevoursheepandshepherdtogether?”saidMissCarmichael,withanopenglanceofsearch。
“Don'tyouthink,“suggestedArctura,“whenyouarenotabletosayanything,itwouldbebetternottobepresent?Yoursilencelookslikeagreement。“
“Butyoucanalwaysprotest!Youcanassertheisallwrong。Youcansayyoudonotintheleastagreewithhim!”
“Butwhatifyouarenotsurethatyoudonotagreewithhim?”
“Ithoughtasmuch!”saidMissCarmichaeltoherself。“Imighthaveforeseenthis!”——Hereshespoke——“Ifyouarenotsureyoudoagree,youcansay,'Ican'tsayIagreewithyou!'Itisalwayssafertoadmitlittlethanmuch。“
“Idonotquitefollowyou。Butspeakingoflittleandmuch,IamsureIwantagreatdealmorethanIknowyettosaveme。Ihaveneveryetheardwhatseemsenough。“
“IsthattosayGodhasnotdonehispart?”
“No;itisonlytosaythatIhopehehasdonemorethanIhaveyetheard。“
“Morethansendhissontodieforyoursins?”
“Morethanyousaythatmeans。“
“YouhavebuttobelieveChristdidso。“
“Idon'tknowthathediedformysins。“
“Hediedforthesinsofthewholeworld。“
“ThenImustbesaved!”
“Yes,ifyoubelievethathemadeatonementforyoursins。“
“ThenIcannotbesavedexceptIbelievethatIshallbesaved。AndIcannotbelieveIshallbesaveduntilIknowIshallbesaved!”
“Youarecavilling,Arctura!Ah,thisiswhatyouhavebeenlearningofMr。Grant!Ioughtnottohavegoneaway!”
“Nothingofthesort!”saidArctura,drawingherselfupalittle。“I
amsorryifIhavesaidanythingwrong;butreallyIcangetholdofnothing!IfeelsometimesasifIshouldgooutofmymind。“
“Arctura,Ihavedonemybestforyou!Ifyouthinkyouhavefoundabetterteacher,nowarning,Ifear,willanylongeravail!”
“IfIdidthinkIhadfoundabetterteacher,nowarningcertainlywould;IamonlyafraidIhavenot。ButofonethingIamsure——thatthethingsMr。Grantteachesaremuchmoretobedesiredthan——“
“Bytheunsanctifiedheart,nodoubt!”saidSophia。
“Theunsanctifiedheart,“rejoinedArctura,astonishedatherownboldness,andthesenseofpowerandfreedomgrowinginherasshespoke,“surelyneedsGodasmuchasthesanctified!ButcantheheartbealtogetherunsanctifiedthatdesirestofindGodsobeautifulandgoodthatitcanworshiphimwithitswholepowerofloveandadoration?OrisGodlessbeautifulandgoodthanthat?”
“WeoughttoworshipGodwhateverheis。“
“Butcouldwelovehimwithallourheartsifhewerenotaltogetherlovable?”
“Hemightnotbethelesstobeworshippedthoughheseemedsotous。Wemustworshiphisjusticeasmuchashislove,hispowerasmuchashisjustice。“
Arcturareturnednoanswer;thewordshadfallenonherheartlikeanice-berg。Shewasnot,however,soutterlyoverwhelmedbythemasshewouldhavebeensometimebefore;shethoughtwithherself,“I
willaskMr。Grant!Iamsurehedoesnotthinklikethat!Worshippowerasmuchaslove!Ibegintothinkshedoesnotunderstandwhatsheistalkingabout!IfIweretomakeacreatureneedingallmylovetomakelifeendurabletohim,andthennotbekindenoughtohim,shouldInotbecruel?WouldInotbetoblame?CanGodbeGodanddoanythingconceivablytoblame——anythingthatisnotaltogetherbeautiful?ShetellsmewecannotjudgewhatitwouldberightforGodtodobywhatitwouldberightforustodo:ifwhatseemsrighttomeisnotrighttoGod,Imustwrongmyconscienceandbeasinnerinordertoservehim!ThenmyconscienceisnotthevoiceofGodinme!HowthenamImadeinhisimage?Whatdoesitmean?Ah,butthatimagehasbeendefacedbythefall!SoIcannottellabitwhatGodislike?ThenhowamItolovehim?Inevercanlovehim!Iamverymiserable!IamnotGod'schild!
Thus,longafterMissCarmichaelhadtakenacoldlysorrowfulfarewellofher,Arcturawentroundandroundtheoldmill-horserackofherself-questioning:Godwasnottobetrustedinuntilshehaddonesomethingshecouldnotdo,uponwhichhewouldtakeherintohisfavour,andthenshecouldtrusthim!WhataGodtogiveallherheartto,tolongfor,todreamofbeingathomewith!ThenshecomparedMissCarmichaelandDonalGrant,andthoughtwhetherDonalmightnotbeaslikelytoberightasshe。Oh,wherewasassurance,wherewascertaintyaboutanything!Howwassheevertoknow?Whatifthethingshecametoknowforcertainshouldbe——aGodshecouldnotlove!
ThenextdaywasSunday。Davieandhistutorovertookhergoinghomefromchurch。Itcameasofitselftoherlips,andshesaid,“Mr。Grant,howarewetoknowwhatGodislike?”
“'Philipsaithuntohim,Lord,showustheFatheranditsufficethus。Jesussaithuntohim,HaveIbeensolongtimewithyou,andyethastthounotknownme,Philip?Hethathathseenmehathseenthefather,andhowsayestthouthen,Showusthefather?'“
ThusansweredDonal,withoutawordofhisown,andthoughthethreewalkedsidebyside,itwastenminutesbeforeanotherwasspoken。
ThenatlastsaidArctura,“IfIcouldbutseeChrist!”
“Itisnotnecessarytoseehimtoknowwhatheislike。Youcanreadwhatthosewhoknewhimsaidhewaslike;thatisthefirststeptounderstandinghim,whichisthetrueseeing;thesecondis,doingwhathetellsyou:whenyouunderstandhim——thereisyourGod!”
>FromthatdayArctura'ssearchtookanewdeparture。Itisstrangehowoftenonemayhearathing,yetneverhavereallyheardit!Theheartcanhearonlywhatitiscapableofhearing;therefore“thetimesofthisignoranceGodwinkedat;“butalasforhimwhowillnothearwhatheiscapableofhearing!
HisfailuretogetwordorevensightofEppy,togetherwithsomeuneasinessattheconditioninwhichhergrandfathercontinued,inducedlordForguetoaccepttheinvitation——whichhisfatherhadtakenpainstohavesenthim——tospendthreeweeksoramonthwitharelativeinthenorthofEngland。HewouldgladlyhavesentamessagetoEppybeforehewent,buthadnoonehecouldtrustwithit:Daviewastoomuchundertheinfluenceofhistutor!Sohedepartedwithoutsign,andEppysoonimaginedhehaddesertedher。
Foratimehertearsflowedyetmorefreely,butbyandbyshebegantofeelsomethingofreliefinhavingthemattersettled,forshecouldnotseehowtheywereevertobemarried。Shewouldhavebeencontenttolovehimalways,shesaidtoherself,weretherenoprospectofmarriage,orevenweretherenomarriageinquestion;
butwouldhecontinuetocareforherlove?Shedidnotthinkshecouldexpectthat。Sowithmanytearsshegavehimup——orthoughtshedid。Hehadlovedher,andthatwasagrandthing!
Therewasmuchthatwasgood,andsomethingthatwaswiseinthegirl,notwithstandingherfollyinallowingsuchalover。Thetemptationwasgreat:evenifhisattentionswereintheirnaturebuttransient,theyweresweetwhiletheypassed。Idoubtifherlovewasofthedeepestshehadtogive;butwhocantell?Awomanwilllovewhereamancanseenothinglovely。Solongassheisablestilltolove,sheisneverquitetobepitied;butwhenthereactioncomes——?
Sothedulldayswentby。
ButforladyArcturaagreathopehadbeguntodawn——thehope,namely,thattheworldwasinthehand,yeaintheheartofOnewhomsheherselfmightonedaysee,inherinmostsoul,andwithclearesteyes,tobeLoveitself——notaloveshecouldnotcarefor,buttheveryheart,generatingcentre,embracingcircumference,andcrownofallloves。
DonalprayedtoGodforladyArctura,andwaited。Herhourwasnotyetcome,butwascoming!EveryonethatisreadytheFatherbringstoJesus:thediscipleisnotgreaterthanhismaster,andmustnotthinktohastenthehour,orleadonewhoisnotyettaughtofGod;
hemustnotbemiserableaboutanotherasifGodhadforgottenhim。
StrangehelpersofGodweshallbe,if,thinkingtodohiswork,weactasifhewereneglectingit!TowaitforGod,believingithisonedesigntoredeemhiscreatures,readytoputthehandto,themomenthishourstrikes,isthefaithfitforafellow-workerwithhim!
CHAPTERXXXIX。
THECASTLE-ROOF。
OnestormyFridaynightinthemonthofMarch,whenabittereastwindwasblowing,Donal,seatedattheplaindeal-tablehehadgotMrs。Brookestofindhimthathemightuseitregardlessofink,wasdrawinguponitadiagram,inquestofasimplificationforDavie,whenasuddensenseofcoldmadehimcastaglanceathisfire。Hehadbeenawarethatitwassinking,but,astherewasnofuelintheroom,hadforgottenitagain:itwasverylow,andhemustatoncefetchbothwoodandcoal!Incertaindirectionsanddegreesofwindthiswasratheraticklishtask;buthehadtakentheprecautionofputtinguphereandthereabitofrope。Closingthedoorbehindhimtokeepinwhatwarmthhemight,andascendingthestairsafewfeethigher,hesteppedoutonthebartizan,andsoroundthetowertotheroof。Therehestoodforamomenttolookabouthim。
Itwasamoonlitnight,sofarastheclouds,blowninhugeandalmostcontinuousmassesovertheheavens,wouldpermitthelightofthemoontoemerge。Theroaringoftheseacamelikealowrollingmistacrosstheflats。Theairgloomedanddarkenedandlightenedagainaroundhim,asthefoldsofthecloud-blanketoverheadweretorn,ordroppedtrailing,orgatheredagaininthearmsofthehurryingwind。Ashestood,itseemedsuddenlytochange,andtakeatouchofsouthinitsblowing。Thesameinstantcametohisearaloudwail:itwastheghost-music!Therewasinitthecryofadiscord,minglingwithawildrollingchangeofharmonies。Hestood“likeoneforbid,“andlistenedwithallhispower。Itcameagain,andagain,andwasmorecontinuousthanhehadeverhearditbefore。
Herewasnowachanceindeedoftracingithome!Asagaze-houndwithhiseyes,asasleuth-houndwithhisnose,hestoodreadytostarthuntingwithhislistinglisteningear。Theseemingapproachandrecessionofthesoundsmightbeoccasionedbychangesintheirstrength,notbyanychangeofposition!
“Itmustcomefromsomewhereontheroof!”hesaid,andsettingdownthepailhehadbrought,hegotonhishandsandknees,firsttoescapethewindinhisears,andnexttodiminishitsholdonhisperson。Overroofafterroofhecreptlikeacat,stoppingtolisteneverytimeanewgushofthesoundcame,thenstartingafreshinthesearchforitssource。Uponagreatgatheringofroofslikethese,erectedatvarioustimesonvariouslevels,andwithallkindsofarchitecturalaccommodationsofoneparttoanother,soundwouldbevariouslydeflected,andasdifficulttotraceasinsidethehouse!
Carelessofcoldordanger,hepersisted,creepingup,creepingdown,overflatleads,overslopingslates,overgreatroofingstones,alonglowparapets,androundticklishcorners——followingthesoundever,asacataflittingunconsciousbird:whenitceased,hewouldkeepslowlyoninthedirectionlastchosen。
Sometimes,whenthemoonwasmoreprofoundlyobscured,hewouldhavetostopaltogether,unabletogetapeepofhisway。
Ononesuchoccasion,whenitwasnearlypitch-dark,andthesoundhadforsometimeceased,hewascrouchinguponahigh-pitchedroofofgreatslabs,hisfingersclutchedaroundtheedgesofoneofthem,andhismountaineeringhabitsstandinghimingoodstead,protectedalittlefromtheforceoftheblastbyahugestackofchimneysthatrosetowindward:whileheclungthuswaiting——louderthanhehadyetheardit,almostinhisveryear,arosethemusicalghost-cry——thistimelikethatofasoulintorture。Themooncameout,asatthecry,tosee,butDonalcouldspynothingtosuggestitsorigin。Asifdisappointed,themooninstantlywithdrew,thedarknessagainfell,andthewindrusheduponhimfullofkeenslantingrain,asifwithfierceintentofprotectingthesecret:
therewaslittlechanceofsuccessthatnight!hemustbreakoffthehunttilldaylight!Iftherewasanymaterialfactorinthesound,hewouldbebetterabletodiscoveritthen!Bythegreatchimney-stackhecouldidentifythespotwherehehadbeennearesttoit!Thereremainedforthepresentbutthetaskoffindinghiswaybacktohistower。
Adifficulttaskitwas——moredifficultthanheanticipated。Hehadnotanideainwhatdirectionhistowerlay——hadnotanideaofthetrack,iftrackitcouldbecalled,bywhichhehadcome。Onethingonlywasclear——itwassomewhereelsethanwherehewas。Hesetouttherefore,likeanyhonestpilgrimwhoknowsonlyhemustgosomewhereelse,andbeganhiswanderings。Hefoundhimselffarmoreobstructedthanincoming。Againandagainhecouldgonofartherinthedirectionhewastrying,againandagainhadtoturnandtryanother。Itwashalf-an-houratleastbeforehecametoaspotheknew,andbythattime,withtherainthewindhadfallenalittle。
Againstabreakinthecloudshesawtheoutlineofoneofhisstore-sheds,andhiswaywasthenceforwardplain。Hecaughtuphispail,filleditwithcoalandwood,andhastenedtohisnestasquicklyascrampedjointswouldcarryhim,hopelessalmostoffindinghisfirestillalive。
Butwhenhereachedthestair,andhadgonedownafewsteps,hesawastrangesight:belowhim,athisdoor,withasmallwax-taperinherhand,stoodtheformofawoman,inthepostureofonewhohadjustknocked,andwashearkeningforananswer。Sointentwasshe,andsoloudwasthewindamongtheroofs,thatshehadnotheardhisstep,andhestoodamomentafraidtospeaklestheshouldstartleher。Presentlysheknockedagain。Hemadeanattemptatventriloquy,sayinginavoicetosoundfartheroffthanitwas,“Comein。“A
handrosetothelatch,andopenedthedoor。BythehandheknewitwasladyArctura。
“Welcometothestormysky,mylady!”hesaid,asheenteredtheroomafterher——apleasantobjectafterhiscrawlingexcursion!
Shestartedalittleathisvoicebehindher,andturningwasmorestartledstill。
Donalwasmorelikeachimney-sweepthanatutorinalord'scastle。
Hewasbegrimedandblackenedfromheadtofoot,andcarriedapailfulofcoalsandwood。Readingreadilyherlook,hemadehastetoexplain。
“Ihavebeenontheroofforthelasthour,“hesaid。
“Whatwereyoudoingthere,“sheasked,withastrangeminglingofexpressions,“insuchanight?”
“Iheardthemusic,mylady——theghost-music,youknow,thathauntsthecastle,and——“
“Iheardittoo,“shemurmured,withalookalmostofterror。“I
haveoftenhearditbefore,butneversoloudasto-night。Haveyouanynotionaboutit,Mr。Grant?”
“Nonewhatever——exceptthatIamnearlysureitcomesfromsomewhereabouttheroof。“
“Ifyoucouldclearupthemystery!”
“Ihavesomehopeofit——Youarenotfrightened,mylady?”
Shehadcaughtholdofthebackofachair。
“Dositdown。Iwillgetyousomewater。“
“No,no;Ishallberightinamoment!”sheanswered。“Yourstairhastakenmybreathaway。ButmyuncleisinsuchastrangeconditionthatIcouldnothelpcomingtoyou。“
“Ihaveseenhimmyself,morethanonce,verystrange。“
“Willyoucomewithme?”
“Anywhere。“
“Comethen。“
Shelefttheroom,andledtheway,bythelightofherdimtaper,downthestair。Aboutthemiddleofit,shestoppedatadoor,andturningsaid,withasmilelikethatofachild,andthefirstuntroubledlookDonalhadyetseenuponherface——
“Howdelightfulitistobetakenoutoffear!Iamnottheleastafraidnow!”
“Iamveryglad,“saidDonal。“Ishouldliketokillfear;itistheshadowthatfollowsattheheelsofwrong——Doyouthinkthemusichasanythingtodowithyouruncle'scondition?”
“Idonotknow。“
Sheturnedagainhastily,andpassingthroughthedoor,enteredapartofthehousewithwhichDonalhadnoacquaintance。Withmanybewilderingturns,sheledhimtothegreatstaircase,downwhichshecontinuedhercourse。Thehousewasverystill:itmustsurelybelaterthanhehadthought——onlythereweresofewservantsinitforitsextent!Hisguidewentveryfast,withasteplightasabird's:atonemomenthehadallbutlostsightofherinthegreatcurve。AttheroominwhichDonalfirstsawtheearl,shestopped。
Thedoorwasopen,buttherewasnolightwithin。Sheledhimacrosstothedoorofthelittlechamberbehind。Amurmur,butnolight,camefromit。Inamomentitwasgone,andthedeepestsilencefilledtheworld。Arcturaentered。Onestepwithinthedoorshestoodstill,andheldhighhertaper。Donallookedinsideways。
Asmallboxwasontheflooragainstthefootofthefarthestwall,andonthebox,inalongdressinggownofrichfadedstuff,thesilkandgoldinwhichshonefeeblyinthedimlight,stoodthetallmeagreformoftheearl,withhisbacktothedoor,hisfacetothewall,closetoit,andhisarmsandhandsstretchedoutagainstit,likeoneuponacross。Hestoodwithoutmovingamuscleorutteringasound。Whatcoulditmean?Donalgazedinablankdismay。
Notaminutehadpassed,thoughitwastohimalongandpainfultime,whenthemurmuringcameagain。Helistenedastoavoicefromanotherworld——athingterribletothosewhosefeardwellsinanotherworld。ButtoDonalitwasterribleasavoicefromnootherworldcouldhavebeen;itcamefromanunseenworldofsinandsuffering——aworldalmostanegationoftheeternal,aworldofdarknessandtheshadowofdeath。Butsurelytherewashopeforthatworldyet!——forwhosewerethewordsinwhichitsindwellingdespairgrewaudible?
“Andweindeedjustly;forwereceivetheduerewardofourdeeds;
butthismanhathdonenothingamiss!”
Againthesilencefell,buttheformdidnotmove,andstilltheystoodregardinghim。
>Fromfarawaycamethesoundoftheghost-music。Theheadagainstthewallbegantomoveasifwakingfromsleep。Thehandssankalongthewallandfellbythesides。Theearlgaveadeepsigh,butstillstoodleaninghisforeheadagainstthewall。
Arcturaturned,andtheylefttheroom。
Shewentdownthestair,andontothelibrary。Itsdarkoakcasesandoldbindingsreflectedhardlyarayofthepoortapershecarried;butthefirewasnotyetquiteout。Shesetdownthelight,andlookedatDonalinsilence。
“Whatdoesitallmean?”heaskedinahoarsewhisper。
“Godknows!”shereturnedsolemnly。
“Arewesafe?”heasked。“Mayhenotcomehere?”
“Idonotthinkhewill。Ihaveseenhiminmanypartsofthehouse,butneverhere。“
Evenasshespokethedoorswungnoiselesslyopen,andtheearlentered。Hisfacewasghastlypale;hiseyeswerewideopen;hecamestraighttowardsthem。Buthedidnotseethem;orifhedid,hesawthembutasphantomsofthedreaminwhichhewaswalking——phantomswhichhadnotyetbecomeactiveinthedream。Hedrewachairtotheembers,inhisfancydoubtlessagreatfire,satforamomentortwogazingintothem,rose,wentthewholelengthoftheroom,tookdownabook,returnedwithittothefire,drewtowardshimArctura'stinytaper,openedthebook,andbegantoreadinanaudiblemurmur。
Donal,tryingafterwardstorecallandsetdownwhathehadheard,wrotenothingbetterthanthis:——
Intheheartoftheearth-caveLaytheking。
ThroughchancelandchoirandnaveThebellsring。
Saidthewormathisside,Sweetfool,Turntothybride;
Isthenightsocool?
WouldstthoulielikeastonetilltheachingmornOutofthedarkbeborn?
Heavilypressedthenightenorm,Butheheardthevoiceoftheworm,Likethesoundofamutteredthunderlow,Intherealmswherenofeetgo。
Andhesaid,Iwillrise,Iwillwillmyselfglad;
Iwillopenmyeyes,Andnomoresleepsad。
ForwhoisagodButthemanwhocanspringUpfromthesod,Andbehisownking?
Iwillmodelmygladness,Digmydespair——
AndletgoodnessorbadnessBefolly'sowncare!
Iwillhecontent,AndtheworldshallspinroundTillitsforcebeoutspent。
ItshalldropLikeatopSpunbyaboy,WhileIsitinmytent,Inafeaturelessjoy——
Sitwithoutsound,Andtossupmyworld,TillitburstandbedrownedIntheblacknessupcurled>Fromthedeephell-ground。
ThedreamsofagodAretheworldsofhisslaves:
Iwillbemyowngod,Andrulemyownknaves!
Hewentoninthiswayforsomeminutes;thentherimesgrewlessperfect,andtheutterancesankintomeasuredprose。Thetoneofthespeakershowedthathetookthestuffforglowingverse,andregardeditasembodyinghisownpresentconsciousness。Onemighthavethoughtthewormwouldhaveawordtosayinrejoinder;butno;
thewormhadvanished,andtheburieddreamerhadmadehimselfagod——hisowngod!Donalstoleupsoftlybehindhim,andpeepedattheopenbook:itwastheNovumOrganum!
Theyglidedoutoftheroom,andleftthedreamertohisdreams。
“Doyouthink,“saidDonal,“IoughttotellSimmons?”
“Itwouldbebetter。Doyouknowwheretofindhim?”
“Idonot。“
“Iwillshowyouabellthatringsinhisroom。Hewillthinkhislordshiphasrungit。“
Theywentandrangthebell。Inaminuteortwotheyheardthestepsofthefaithfulservantseekinghismaster,andbadeeachothergood-night。
CHAPTERXL。
ARELIGION-LESSON。
InthemorningDonallearnedfromSimmonsthathismasterwasveryill——couldnotraisehishead。
“Thewayhedomoanandcry!”saidSimmons。“Youwouldthinksurehewaseitheroutofhismind,orhadsomethingheavyuponit!AlltheyearsIknownhim,hebeenlikethateverynowan'then,andbacktohisoldselfagain,littletheworse!Onlythefitsdocomeoftener。“
Towardsthecloseofschool,asDonalwasbeginningtogivehislessoninreligion,ladyArcturaentered,andsatdownbesideDavie。
“Whatwouldyouthinkofme,Davie,“Donalwassaying,“ifIwereangrywithyoubecauseyoudidnotknowsomethingIhadnevertaughtyou?”
Davieonlylaughed。Itwastohimagrotesque,animpossiblesupposition。
“If,“Donalresumed,“IweretoshowyouapropositionofEuclidwhichyouhadneverseenbefore,andsaytoyou,'Now,Davie,thisisoneofthemostbeautifulofallEuclid'spropositions,andyoumustimmediatelyadmireit,andadmireEuclidforconstructingit!'——whatwouldyousay?”
Daviethought,andlookedpuzzled。
“Butyouwouldn'tdoit,sir!”hesaid。“——Iknowyouwouldn'tdoit!”headded,afteramoment。
“WhyshouldInot?”
“Itisn'tyourway,sir。“
“ButsupposeIweretotakethatway?”
“Youwouldnotthenbelikeyourself,sir!”
“TellmehowIshouldbeunlikemyself。Think。“
“Youwouldnotbereasonable。“
“Whatwouldyousaytome?”
“Ishouldsay,'Please,sir,letmelearnthepropositionfirst,andthenIshallbeabletoadmireit。Idon'tknowityet!'“
“Verygood!——Nowagain,suppose,whenyoutriedtolearnit,youwerenotabletodoso,andthereforecouldseenobeautyinit——shouldIblameyou?”
“No,sir;Iamsureyouwouldnot——becauseIshouldnotbetoblame,anditwouldnotbefair;andyouneverdowhatisnotfair!”
“Iamgladyouthinkso:Itrytobefair——Thatlooksasifyoubelievedinme,Davie!”
“OfcourseIdo,sir!”
“Why?”
“Justbecauseyouarefair。“
“Suppose,Davie,Isaidtoyou,'HereisaverybeautifulthingI
shouldlikeyoutolearn,'andyou,afteryouhadpartlylearnedit,weretosay'Idon'tseeanythingbeautifulinthis:IamafraidI
nevershall!'——wouldthatbetobelieveinme?”
“No,surely,sir!foryouknowbestwhatIamablefor。“
“Supposeyousaid,'Idaresayitisallasgoodasyousay,butI
don'tcaretotakesomuchtroubleaboutit,'——whatwouldthatbe?”
“Nottobelieveinyou,sir。Youwouldnotwantmetolearnathingthatwasnotworthmytrouble,orathingIshouldnotbegladofknowingwhenIdidknowit。“
“Supposeyousaid,'Sir,Idon'tdoubtwhatyousay,butIamsotired,Idon'tmeantodoanythingmoreyoutellme,'——wouldyouthenbebelievinginme?”
“No。Thatmightbetobelieveyourword,butitwouldnotbetotrustyou。Itwouldbetothinkmythinksbetterthanyourthinks,andthatwouldbenofaithatall。“
Daviehadattimesanoddlychildishwayofputtingthings。
“Supposeyouweretosaynothing,butgoawayanddonothingofwhatItoldyou——whatwouldthatbe?”
“Worseandworse;itwouldbesneaking。“
“Onequestionmore:whatisfaith——thebigfaithImean——notthelittlefaithbetweenequals——thebigfaithweputinoneaboveus?”
“Itistogoatonceanddothethinghetellsustodo。“
“Ifwedon't,thenwehaven'tfaithinhim?”
“No;certainlynot。“
“Butmightnotthatbehisfault?”
“Yes——ifhewasnotgood——andsoIcouldnottrusthim。IfhesaidI
wastodoonekindofthing,andhedidanotherkindofthinghimself,thenofcourseIcouldnothavefaithinhim。“
“Andyetyoumightfeelyoumustdowhathetoldyou!”
“Yes。“
“Wouldthatbefaithinhim?”
“No。“
“Wouldyoualwaysdowhathetoldyou?”
“Notifhetoldmetodowhatitwouldbewrongtodo。“
“Nowtellme,Davie,whatisthebiggestfaithofall——thefaithtoputintheoneonlyaltogethergoodperson。“
“YoumeanGod,Mr。Grant?”
“WhomelsecouldImean?”
“YoumightmeanJesus。“
“Theyareone;theymeanalwaysthesamething,doalwaysthesamething,alwaysagree。Thereisonlyonethingtheydon'tdothesamein——theydonotlovethesameperson。“
“Whatdoyoumean,Mr。Grant?”interruptedArctura。
Shehadbeenlisteningintently:wastheclovenfootofMr。Grant'sheresynowatlastabouttoappearplainly?
“Imeanthis,“answeredDonal,withasmilethatseemedtoArcturasuchalightasshehadneverseenonhumanface,“——thatGodlovesJesus,notGod;andJesuslovesGod,notJesus。Weloveoneanother,notourselves——don'twe,Davie?”
“Youdo,Mr。Grant,“answeredDaviemodestly。
“Nowtellme,Davie,whatisthegreatbigfaithofall——thatwhichwehavetoputintheFatherofus,whoisasgoodnotonlyasthoughtcanthink,butasgoodasheartcanwish——infinitelybetterthananybodybutJesusChristcanthink——whatisthefaithtoputinhim?”
“Oh,itiseverything!”answeredDavie。
“Butwhatfirst?”askedDonal。
“First,itistodowhathetellsus。“
“Yes,Davie:itistolearnhisproblemsbygoinganddoinghiswill;nottryingtounderstandthingsfirst,buttryingfirsttodothings。Wemustspreadoutourarmstohimasachilddoestohismotherwhenhewantshertotakehim;thenwhenhesetsusdown,saying,'Goanddothisorthat,'wemustmakeallthehasteinustogoanddoit。Andwhenwegethungrytoseehim,wemustlookathispicture。“
“Whereisthat,sir?”
“Ah,Davie,Davie!don'tyouknowthatyet?Don'tyouknowthat,besidesbeinghimself,andjustbecauseheishimself,JesusisthelivingpictureofGod?”
“Iknow,sir!Wehavetogoandreadabouthiminthebook。“
“MayIaskyouaquestion,Mr。Grant?”saidArctura。
“Withperfectfreedom,“answeredDonal。“IonlyhopeImaybeabletoanswerit。“
“WhenwereadaboutJesus,wehavetodrawforourselveshislikenessfromwords,andyouknowwhatkindofalikenessthebestartistwouldmakethatway,whohadneverseenwithhisowneyesthepersonwhoseportraithehadtopaint!”
“Iunderstandyouquite,“returnedDonal。“Somegotoothermentodrawitforthem;andsomegotootherstohearfromthemwhattheymustdraw——thusgettingalltheirblundersinadditiontothosetheymustmakeforthemselves。Butthenearestlikenessyoucanseeofhim,istheonedrawnbyyourselfwhiledoingwhathetellsyou。Hehaspromisedtocomeintothosewhokeephisword。Hewillthenbemuchnearertothemthaninbodilypresence;andsuchmaywellbeabletodrawforthemselvesthelikenessofGod——Butfirstofall,andbeforeeverythingelse,mind,Davie,OBEDIENCE!”
“Yes,Mr。Grant;Iknow,“saidDavie。
“Thenoffwithyou!OnlythinksometimesitisGodwhogaveyouyourgame。“
“I'mgoingtoflymykite,Mr。Grant。“
“Do。Godlikestoseeyouflyyourkite,anditisallinhisMarchwinditflies。Itcouldnotgoupafootbutforthat。“
Daviewent。
“Youhaveheardthatmyuncleisveryillto-day!”saidArctura。
“Ihave。Poorman!”repliedDonal。
“Hemustbeinaverypeculiarcondition。“
“Ofbodyandmindboth。Hegreatlyperplexesme。“
“YouwouldbequiteasmuchperplexedifyouhadknownhimaslongasIhave!Neversincemyfather'sdeath,whichseemsacenturyago,haveIfeltsafe;neverinmyuncle'spresenceatease。Igetnonearertohim。Itseemstome,Mr。Grant,thatthecauseofdiscomfortandstrifeisneverthatwearetoonearothers,butthatwearenotnearenough。“
ThiswasaremarkafterDonal'sownheart。
“Iunderstandyou,“hesaid,“andentirelyagreewithyou。“
“Ineverfeelthatmyunclecaresformeexceptasoneofthefamily,andtheholderofitschiefproperty。Hewouldhavelikedmebetter,perhaps,ifIhadbeendependentonhim。“
“Howlongwillhebeyourguardian?”askedDonal。
“Heisnolongermyguardianlegally。Thetimesetbymyfather'swillendedlastyear。Iamthreeandtwenty,andmyownmistress。
Butofcourseitismuchbettertohavetheheadofthehousewithme。Iwishhewerealittlemorelikeotherpeople!——Buttellmeabouttheghost-music:wehadnottimetotalkofitlastnight!”
“Igotprettyneartheplaceitcamefrom。Butthewindblewso,anditwassodark,thatIcoulddonothingmorethen。“
“Youwilltryagain?”
“Ishallindeed。“
“Iamafraid,ifyoufindanaturalcauseforit,Ishallbealittlesorry。“
“Howcantherebeanyotherthananaturalcause,mylady?GodandNatureareone。GodisthecausingNature——Tellme,isnotthemusicheardonlyinstormynights,oratleastnightswithagooddealofwind?”
“Ihavehearditinthedaytime!”
“Onastillday?”
“Ithinknot。IthinktooIneverhearditonastillsummernight。“
“Doyouthinkitcomesinallstorms?”
“Ithinknot。“
“Thenperhapsithassomethingtodonotmerelywiththewind,butwiththedirectionofthewind!”
“Perhaps。Icannotsay。“
“Thatmightaccountfortheuncertaintyofitsvisits!Theinstrumentmaybeaccessible,yetitsconversewiththeoperatingpowersorarethatithasnotyetbeendiscovered。Itisacaseinwhichexperimentisnotpermittedus:wecannotmakeawindblow,neithercanwevarythedirectionofthewindblowing;observationaloneisleftus,andthatcanbeonlyatsuchtimeswhenthesoundisheard。“
“Thenyoucandonothingtillthemusiccomesagain?”
“IthinkIcandosomethingnow;for,lastnightIseemedsoneartheplacewhencethesoundswerecoming,thattheeyemaynowbeabletosupplementtheear,andfindthemusic-birdsilentonhernest。Ifthewindfall,asIthinkitwillintheafternoon,IshallgoagainandseewhetherIcanfindanything。Inoticedlastnightthatsimultaneouslywiththesoundcameachangeinthewind——towardsthesouth,Ithink——WhatanightitwasafterIleftyou!”
“Ithink,“saidArctura,“thewindhassomethingtodowithmyuncle'sfits。Wasthereanythingverystrangeaboutitlastnight?
Whenthewindblowssoangrily,Ialwaysthinkofthatpassageabouttheprinceofthepoweroftheairbeingthespiritthatworksinthechildrenofdisobedience。Tellmewhatitmeans。“
“Idonotknowwhatitmeans,“answeredDonal;“butIsupposetheepithetinvolvesasymbolofthedifferencebetweenthewindofGodthatinspiresthespiritualtrueselfofman,andthewindoftheworldthatworksbythousandsofimpulsesandinfluencesinthelower,theselfishselfofchildrenthatwillnotobey。IwilllookatthepassageandseewhatIcanmakeoutofit。Onlythespiritualandthenaturalblendsothatwemayonedaybeastonished!——Wouldyouliketojointhemusic-hunt,mylady?”
“Doyoumean,goontheroof?ShouldIbeable?”
“Iwouldnothaveyougointhenight,andthewindblowing,“saidDonalwithalaugh;“butyoucancomeandsee,andjudgeforyourself。Thebartizanistheonlyanxiousplace,butasImeantotakeDaviewithme,youmaythinkIdonotcountitverydangerous!”
“WillitbesafeforDavie?”
“IcanventuremorewithDaviethanwithanother:heobeysinamoment。“
“Iwillobeytooifyouwilltakeme,“saidArctura。
“Then,please,cometotheschoolroomatfouro'clock。Butweshallnotgoexceptthewindbefallen。“
WhenDavieheardwhathistutorproposed,hewasfilledwiththerestlessnessofanticipation。OftenwhilehelpingDonalwithhisfuel,hehadgazedupathimontheroofwithlongingeyes,butDonalhadneverlethimgouponit。
CHAPTERXLI。
THEMUSIC-NEST。
Thehourcame,andwiththeverystrokeoftheclock,ladyArcturaandDaviewereintheschoolroom。Amomentmore,andtheysetouttoclimbthespiralofBaliol'stower。
ButwhatadifferentladywasArcturathisafternoon!Shewascheerful,evenmerry——withDavie,almostjolly。Hersoulhadmanyalternatinglightsandglooms,butitwasseldomornevernowsocloudedaswhenfirstDonalsawher。Inthesolitudeofherchamber,wheremostthesimplesoulshouldbeconsciousoflifeasablessedness,shewasyetoftenhauntedbyghastlyshapesoffear;
buttherealsootherformshadbeguntodrawnightoher;sweetestraysofhopewouldeverandanonbreakthroughtheclouds,andmockthedarknessfromherpresence。PerhapsGodmightmeanasthoroughlywellbyherasevenherimaginationcouldwish!
Doesadullreaderremarkthatherswasadiseasedstateofmind?——I
answer,Themoresheneededtobesavedfromitwiththeonlyrealdeliverancefromanyill!Buthermisery,howeverdiseased,wasinfinitelymorereasonablethanthehealthyjoyofsuchastroublethemselvesaboutnothing。Somesicknessesarebetterthananybutthetruehealth。
“Ineverthoughtyouwerelikethis,Arkie!”saidDavie。“YouarejustasifyouhadcometoschooltoMr。Grant!Youwouldsoonknowhowmuchhappieritistohavesomebodyyoumustmind!”
“Ifhavingme,Davie,“saidDonal,“doesn'thelpyoutobehappywithoutme,therewillnothavebeenmuchgooddone。WhatIwantmosttoteachyouis,toleavethedooralwaysonthelatch,forsomeone——youknowwhomImean——tocomein。“
“Racemeupthestair,Arkie,“saidDavie,whentheycametothefootofthespiral。
“Verywell,“assentedhiscousin。
“Whichsidewillyouhave——thebroadorthenarrow?”
“Thebroad。“
“Wellthen——one,two,three,andawaywego!”
Daviemountedlikeaclevergoat,hishandandarmonthenewel,andslippinglightlyroundit。Arctura'sascentwaseasierbutslower:
shefoundhergarmentsinherway,thereforeyieldedtherace,andwaitedforDonal。Davie,thinkingheheardherfootstepsbehindhimallthetime,flewupshriekingwiththesweetterroroflove'spursuit。
“Whatadarlingtheboyhasgrown!”saidArcturawhenDonalovertookher。
“Yes,“answeredDonal;“onewouldthinksuchachildmightrunstraightintothekingdomofheaven;butIsupposehemusthavehistemptationsandtrialsfirst:outofthestormalonecomesthetruepeace。“
“Willpeacecomeoutofallstorms?”
“Itrustso。Everypainandeveryfear,everydoubtisacryafterGod。Whatmotherrefusestogotoherchildbecauseheisonlycrying——notcallingherbyname!”
“Oh,ifIcouldbutbelievesoaboutGod!ForifitbeallrightwithGod——ImeanifGodbesuchaGodastobelovedwiththeheartandsoulofloving,thenalliswell。Isitnot,Mr。Grant?”
“Indeeditis!——Andyouarenotfarfromthekingdomofheaven,“hewasonthepointofsaying,butdidnot——becauseshewasinitalready,onlyunableyettoverifythethingsaroundher,likethemanwhohadbuthalf-wayreceivedhissight。
Whentheyreachedthetop,hetookthempasthisdoor,andhigherupthestairtothenext,openingonthebartizan。HerehesaidladyArcturamustcomewithhimfirst,andDaviemustwaittillhecamebackforhim。Whenhehadthembothsafeontheroof,hetoldDavietokeepclosetohiscousinorhimselfallthetime。Heshowedthemfirsthisstoresoffuel——hisammunition,hesaid,forfightingthewinter。Nexthepointedoutwherehestoodwhenfirstheheardthemusicthenightbefore,andsetdownhisbuckettofollowit;andwherehefoundthebucket,blownthitherbythewind,whenhecamebacktofeelforitinthedark。Thenhebegantoleadthem,asnearlyashecould,thewayhehadthengone,butwithsome,forArctura'ssake,desirabledetours:overonesteep-slopingrooftheyhadtocross,hefoundalittlestairupthemiddle,anddowntheotherside。
Theycametoapartwherehewasnotquitesureabouttheway。Ashestoppedtobethinkhimself,theyturnedandlookedeastward。Theseawasshininginthesun,andtheflatwetcountrybetweenwassobrightthattheycouldnottellwherethelandendedandtheseabegan。Butastheygazedagreatcloudcameoverthesun,theseaturnedcoldandgrayasdeath——atrueMarchsea,andthelandlaylowanddesolatebetween。Thespringwasgoneandthewinterwasthere。Agustofwind,fullofkeenhail,drovesharpintheirfaces。
“Ah,thatsettlesthequestion!”saidDonal。“Themusic-birdmustwait。Wewillcalluponheranotherday——Itisfunny,isn'tit,Davie,togoabird's-nestingaftermusicontheroofofahouse?”
“Hark!”saidArctura;“IthinkIheardthemusic-bird!——Shewantsustofindhernest!Ireallydon'tthinkweoughttogobackforalittleblastofwind,andafewpelletsofhail!Whatdoyouthink,Davie?”
“Oh,forme,Iwouldn'tturnforeversobigastorm!”saidDavie;
“butyouknow,Arkie,it'snotyouorme,Arkie!Mr。Grantisthecaptainofthisexpedition,andwemustdoashebidsus。“
“Oh,surely,Davie!Inevermeanttodisputethat。OnlyMr。Grantisnotatyrant;hewillletaladysaywhatshethinks!”
“Oh,yes,oraboyeither!HelikesmetosaywhatIthink!Hesayswecan'tgetateachotherwithout。Anddoyouknow——heobeysmesometimes!”
Arcturaglancedakeenquestionattheboy。
“Itisquitetrue!”saidDavie,whileDonallistenedsmiling。“Lastwinter,fordaystogether——notallday,youknow:Ihadtoobeyhimmostofthetime!butatcertaintimes,IwasassureofMr。GrantdoingasItoldhim,asheisnowofmedoingashetellsme。“
“Whattimeswerethose?”askedArctura,thinkingtohearofsomeoddpedagogicdevice。
“WhenIwasteachinghimtoskate!”answeredDavie,inatriumphofremembrance。“HesaidIknewbetterthanhethere,andsohewouldobeyme。Youwouldn'tbelievehowsplendidlyhedidit,Arkie——outandout!”concludedDavie,inatonealmostofawe。
“Oh,yes,Iwouldbelieveit——perfectly!”saidArctura。
Donalsuddenlythrewanarmroundeachofthem,andpulledthemdownsitting。Thesameinstantafierceblastburstupontheroof。Hehadseenthesquallwhiteningthesea,andlookingnearerhomesawthetopsofthetreesbetweenstreamingleveltowardsthecastle。Butseatedtheywereinnodanger。
“Hark!”saidArcturaagain;“thereitis!”