Thistalewaspublishedinsuccessivepartsinthe“AtlanticMonthly。”underthenameof“TheProfessor’sStory。”thefirstnumberhavingappearedinthethirdweekofDecember，1859。ThecriticwhoiscuriousincoincidencesmustrefertotheMagazineforthedateofpublicationofthechapterheisexamining。
Incallingthisnarrativea“romance。”theAuthorwishestomakesureofbeingindulgedinthecommonprivilegesofthepoeticlicense。
Throughallthedisguiseoffictionagravescientificdoctrinemaybedetectedlyingbeneathsomeofthedelineationsofcharacter。Hehasusedthisdoctrineasapartofthemachineryofhisstorywithoutpledginghisabsolutebeliefinittotheextenttowhichitisassertedorimplied。Itwasadoptedasaconvenientmediumoftruthratherthanasanacceptedscientificconclusion。Thereadermustjudgeforhimselfwhatisthevalueofvariousstoriescitedfromoldauthors。Hemustdecidehowmuchofwhathasbeentoldhecanaccepteitherashavingactuallyhappened，oraspossibleandmoreorlessprobable。TheAuthormustbepermitted，however，tosayhere，inhispersonalcharacter，andasresponsibletothestudentsofthehumanmindandbody，thatsincethisstoryhasbeeninprogresshehasreceivedthemoststartlingconfirmationofthepossibilityoftheexistenceofacharacterlikethatwhichhehaddrawnasapurelyimaginaryconceptioninElsieVenner。
BOSTON，January，1861。
ASECONDPREFACE。
Thisisthestorywhichadearoldlady，myverygoodfriend，spokeofas“amedicatednovel。”andquiteproperlyrefusedtoread。Iwasalwayspleasedwithherdiscriminatingcriticism。Itisamedicatednovel，andifshewishedtoreadformereamusementandhelpfulrecreationtherewasnoneedoftroublingherselfwithastorywrittenwithadifferentendinview。
Thisstoryhascalledforthsomanycuriousinquiriesthatitseemsworthwhiletoanswerthemoreimportantquestionswhichhaveoccurredtoitsreaders。
Inthefirstplace，itisnotbasedonanywell-ascertainedphysiologicalfact。Thereareoldfablesaboutpatientswhohavebarkedlikedogsorcrowedlikecocks，afterbeingbittenorwoundedbythoseanimals。ThereisnothingimpossibleintheideathatRomulusandRemusmayhaveimbibedwolfishtraitsofcharacterfromthewetnursethelegendassignedthem，butthelegendisnotsoundhistory，andthesuppositionisnothingmorethanaspeculativefancy。Still，thereisalimboofcuriousevidencebearingonthesubjectofpre-natalinfluencessufficienttoformthestarting-pointofanimaginativecomposition。
Therealaim，ofthestorywastotestthedoctrineof“originalsin“
andhumanresponsibilityforthedisorderedvolitioncomingunderthattechnicaldenomination。WasElsieVenner，poisonedbythevenomofacrotalusbeforeshewasborn，morallyresponsibleforthe“volitional“aberrations，whichtranslatedintoactsbecomewhatisknownassin，and，itmaybe，whatispunishedascrime？If，onpresentationoftheevidence，shebecomesbytheverdictofthehumanconscienceaproperobjectofdivinepityandnotofdivinewrath，asasubjectofmoralpoisoning，whereinliesthedifferencebetweenherpositionatthebarofjudgment，humanordivine，andthatoftheunfortunatevictimwhoreceivedamoralpoisonfromaremoteancestorbeforehedrewhisfirstbreath？
ItmightbesupposedthatthecharacterofElsieVeneerwassuggestedbysomeofthefabulouspersonagesofclassicalormediaevalstory。
IrememberthataFrenchcriticspokeofherascettepauvreMelusine。Ioughttohavebeenashamed，perhaps，butIhad，nottheslightestideawhoMelusinawasuntilIhuntedupthestory，andfoundthatshewasafairy，whoforsomeoffencewaschangedeverySaturdaytoaserpentfromherwaistdownward。IwasofcoursefamiliarwithKeats’sLamia，anotherimaginarybeing，thesubjectofmagicaltransformationintoaserpent。MystorywaswelladvancedbeforeHawthorne’swonderful“MarbleFaun。”whichmightbethoughttohavefurnishedmewiththehintofamixednature，——human，withanalienelement，——waspublishedorknowntome。Sothatmypoorheroinefoundherorigin，notinfableorromance，butinaphysiologicalconceptionfertilizedbyatheologicaldogma。
Ihadthedissatisfactionofenjoyingfromaquietcornerawell-
meantefforttodramatize“ElsieVeneer。”Unfortunately，aphysiologicalromance，asIknewbeforehand，ishardlyadaptedforthemelodramaticeffortsofstagerepresentation。Icanthereforesay，withperfecttruth，thatIwasnotdisappointed。Itistothemind，andnottothesenses，thatsuchastorymustappeal，andallattemptstorenderthecharacterandeventsobjectiveonthestage，ortomakethemrealbyartisticillustrations，arealmostofnecessityfailures。Thestoryhaswontheattentionandenjoyedthefavorofalimitedclassofreaders，andifitstillcontinuestointerestothersofthesametastesandhabitsofthoughtIcanasknothingmoreofit。
January23，1883。
PREFACETOTHENEWEDITION。
IhavenothingofimportancetoaddtothetwoprecedingPrefaces。
Thecontinuedcallforthisstory，whichwasnotwrittenforpopularity，butwithaveryseriouspurpose，hassomewhatsurprisedand，Ineednotadd，gratifiedme。Icanonlyrestatethemotiveideaofthetaleinalittledifferentlanguage。Believing，asIdo，thatourprevailingtheologiesarefoundeduponanutterlyfalseviewoftherelationofmantohisCreator，Iattemptedtoillustratethedoctrineofinheritedmoralresponsibilityforotherpeople’smisbehavior。ItriedtomakeoutacaseformypoorElsie，whomthemosthardenedtheologianwouldfindithardtoblameforherinheritedophidiantastesandtendencies。How，then，ishetoblamemankindforinheriting“sinfulness“fromtheirfirstparents？MaynottheserpenthavebittenEvebeforethebirthofCain，herfirst-
born？ThatwouldhavemadeanexcuseforCain’schildren，asElsie’sante-natalmisfortunemadeanexcuseforher。Butwhatdifferencedoesitmakeinthechild’sresponsibilitywhetherhisinheritedtendenciescomefromasnake-biteorsomeothersourcewhichheknewnothingaboutandcouldnothavepreventedfromacting？Allthisisplainenough，andtheonlyuseofthestoryistobringthedogmaofinheritedguiltanditsconsequencesintoaclearerpointofview。
But，afterall，thetalemusthaveprovedreadableasastorytoaccountforthelargenumberofeditionswhichithasreached。
Somereadershavebeencuriousaboutthelocalitythewriterwasthoughttohaveinview。Noparticularplacewasintended。Someofthecharactersmayhavebeenthoughttohavebeendrawnfromlife；
butthepersonagesmentionedaremostlycomposites，likeMr。Galton’scompoundphotographiclikenesses，andarenotcalculatedtoprovokescandalorsuitsforlibel。
O。W。H。
BEVERLYFARMS，MASS。，August3，1891。
ELSIEVENNER。
CHAPTERI。
THEBRAHMINCASTEOFNEWENGLAND。
ThereisnothinginNewEnglandcorrespondingatalltothefeudalaristocraciesoftheOldWorld。Whetheritbeowingtothestockfromwhichwewerederived，ortothepracticalworkingofourinstitutions，ortotheabrogationofthetechnical“lawofhonor。”
whichdrawsasharplinebetweenthepersonallyresponsibleclassof“gentlemen“andtheunnamedmultitudeofthosewhoarenotexpectedtorisktheirlivesforanabstraction，——whateverbethecause，wehavenosucharistocracyhereasthatwhichgrewupoutofthemilitarysystemsoftheMiddleAges。
Whatwemeanby“aristocracy“ismerelythericherpartofthecommunity，thatliveinthetallesthouses，driverealcarriages，not“kerridges。”kidglovetheirhands，andFrench-bonnettheirladies’heads，givepartieswherethepersonswhocallthembytheabovetitlearenotinvited，andhaveaprovokinglyeasywayofdressing，walking，talking，andnoddingtopeople，asiftheyfeltentirelyathome，andwouldnotbeembarrassedintheleast，iftheymettheGovernor，oreventhePresidentoftheUnitedStates，facetoface。Someofthesegreatfolksarereallywell-bred，someofthemareonlypurse-proudandassuming，——buttheyformaclass，andarenamedasaboveinthecommonspeech。
Itisinthenatureoflargefortunestodiminishrapidly，whensubdividedanddistributed。Amillionistheunitofwealth，nowandhereinAmerica。Itsplitsintofourhandsomeproperties；eachoftheseintofourgoodinheritances；these，again，intoscantycompetencesforfourancientmaidens，——withwhomitisbestthefamilyshoulddieout，unlessitcanbeginagainasitsgreat-
grandfatherdid。Nowamillionisakindofgoldencheese，whichrepresentsinacompendiousformthesummer’sgrowthofafatmeadowofcraftorcommerce；andasthiskindofmeadowrarelybearsmorethanonecrop，itisprettycertainthatsonsandgrandsonswillnotgetanothergoldencheeseoutofit，whethertheymilkthesamecowsorturninnewones。Inotherwords，themillionocracy，consideredinalargeway，isnotatallanaffairofpersonsandfamilies，butaperpetualfactofmoneywithavariablehumanelement，whichaphilosophermightleaveoutofconsiderationwithoutfallingintoseriouserror。Ofcourse，thistrivialand，fugitivefactofpersonalwealthdoesnotcreateapermanentclass，unlesssomespecialmeansaretakentoarresttheprocessofdisintegrationinthethirdgeneration。Thisissorarelydone，atleastsuccessfully，thatoneneednotliveaverylonglifetoseemostoftherichfamiliesheknewinchildhoodmoreorlessreduced，andthemillionsshiftedintothehandsofthecountry-boyswhoweresweepingstoresandcarryingparcelswhenthenowdecayedgentryweredrivingtheirchariots，eatingtheirvenisonoversilverchafing-dishes，drinkingMadeirachilledinembossedcoolers，wearingtheirhairinpowder，andcasingtheirlegsinlongbootswithsilkentassels。
Thereis，however，inNewEngland，anaristocracy，ifyouchoosetocallitso，whichhasafargreatercharacterofpermanence。Ithasgrowntobeacaste，——notinanyodioussense；——but，bytherepetitionofthesameinfluences，generationaftergeneration，ithasacquiredadistinctorganizationandphysiognomy，whichnottorecognizeismerestupidity，andnottobewillingtodescribewouldshowadistrustofthegood-natureandintelligenceofourreaders，wholiketohaveusseeallwecanandtellallwesee。
Ifyouwilllookcarefullyatanyclassofstudentsinoneofourcolleges，youwillhavenodifficultyinselectingspecimensoftwodifferentaspectsofyouthfulmanhood。OfcourseIshallchooseextremecasestoillustratethecontrastbetweenthem。Inthefirst，thefigureisperhapsrobust，butoftenotherwise，——inelegant，partlyfromcarelessattitudes，partlyfromill-dressing，——thefaceisuncouthinfeature，oratleastcommon，——themouthcoarseandunformed，——theeyeunsympathetic，evenifbright，——themovementsofthefaceareclumsy，likethoseofthelimbs，——thevoiceisunmusical，——andtheenunciationasifthewordswerecoarsecastings，insteadoffinecarvings。Theyouthoftheotheraspectiscommonlyslender，hisfaceissmooth，andapttobepallid，——hisfeaturesareregularandofacertaindelicacy，——hiseyeisbrightandquick，——hislipsplayoverthethoughtheuttersasapianist’sfingersdanceovertheirmusic，andhiswholeair，thoughitmaybetimid，andevenawkward，hasnothingclownish。Ifyouareateacher，youknowwhattoexpectfromeachoftheseyoungmen。Withequalwillingness，thefirstwillbeslowatlearning；thesecondwilltaketohisbooksasapointerorasettertohisfield-work。
Thefirstyouthisthecommoncountry-boy，whoseracehasbeenbredtobodilylabor。Naturehasadaptedthefamilyorganizationtothekindoflifeithaslived。Thehandsandfeetbyconstantusehavegotmorethantheirshareofdevelopment，——theorgansofthoughtandexpressionlessthantheirshare。Thefinerinstinctsarelatentandmustbedeveloped。Ayouthofthiskindisrawmaterialinitsfirststageofelaboration。Youmustnotexpecttoomuchofanysuch。
Manyofthemhaveforceofwillandcharacter，andbecomedistinguishedinpracticallife；butveryfewofthemeverbecomegreatscholars。Ascholaris，inalargeproportionofcases，thesonofscholarsorscholarlypersons。
Thatisexactlywhattheotheryoungmanis。HecomesoftheBrahmincasteofNewEngland。Thisistheharmless，inoffensive，untitledaristocracyreferredto，andwhichmanyreaderswillatonceacknowledge。Thereareracesofscholarsamongus，inwhichaptitudeforlearning，andallthesemarksofitIhavespokenof，arecongenitalandhereditary。Theirnamesarealwaysonsomecollegecatalogueorother。Theybreakouteverygenerationortwoinsomelearnedlaborwhichcallsthemupaftertheyseemtohavediedout。
Atlastsomenewernametakestheirplace，itmaybe，——butyouinquirealittleandyoufinditisthebloodoftheEdwardsesortheChauncysortheEllerysorsomeoftheoldhistoricscholars，disguisedunderthealterednameofafemaledescendant。
ThereprobablyisnotanexperiencedinstructoranywhereinourNorthernStateswhowillnotrecognizeatoncethetruthofthisgeneraldistinction。Butthereaderwhohasneverbeenateacherwillveryprobablyobject，thatsomeofourmostillustriouspublicmenhavecomedirectfromthehomespun-cladclassofthepeople，——andhemay，perhaps，evenfindanotedscholarortwowhoseparentsweremastersoftheEnglishalphabet，butofnoother。
Itisnotfairtopitafewchosenfamiliesagainstthegreatmultitudeofthosewhoarecontinuallyworkingtheirwayupintotheintellectualclasses。Theresultswhicharehabituallyreachedbyhereditarytrainingareoccasionallybroughtaboutwithoutit。Therearenaturalfiltersaswellasartificialones；andthoughthegreatriversarecommonlymoreorlessturbid，ifyouwilllooklongenough，youmayfindaspringthatsparklesasnowaterdoeswhichdripsthroughyourapparatusofsandsandsponges。Sotherearefamilieswhichrefinethemselvesintointellectualaptitudewithouthavinghadmuchopportunityforintellectualacquirements。Aseriesoffelicitouscrossesdevelopsanimprovedstrainofblood，andreachesitsmaximumperfectionatlastinthelargeuncombedyouthwhogoestocollegeandstartlesthehereditaryclass-leadersbystridingpastthemall。ThatisNature’srepublicanism；thankGodforit，butdonotletitmakeyouillogical。Theraceofthehereditaryscholarhasexchangedacertainportionofitsanimalvigorforitsnewinstincts，anditishardtoleadmenwithoutagooddealofanimalvigor。ThescholarwhocomesbyNature’sspecialgracefromanunwornstockofbroad-chestedsiresanddeep-bosomedmothersmustalwaysovermatchanequalintelligencewithacompromisedandloweredvitality。Aman’sbreathinganddigestiveapparatusoneistemptedtoaddmusculararejustasimportanttohimontheflooroftheSenateashisthinkingorgans。Youbrokedowninyourgreatspeech，didyou？Yes，yourgrandfatherhadanattackofdyspepsiain’82，afterworkingtoohardonhisfamousElectionSermon。Allthisdoesnottouchthemainfact：ourscholarscomechieflyfromaprivilegedorder，justasourbestfruitscomefromwell-knowngrafts，thoughnowandthenaseedlingapple，liketheNorthernSpy，oraseedlingpear，liketheSeckel，springsfromanamelessancestryandgrowstobetheprideofallthegardensintheland。
LetmeintroduceyoutoayoungmanwhobelongstotheBrahmincasteofNewEngland。
CHAPTERII。
THESTUDENTANDHISCERTIFICATE。
BernardC。Langdon，ayoungmanattendingMedicalLecturesattheschoolconnectedwithoneofourprincipalcolleges，remainedaftertheLectureonedayandwishedtospeakwiththeProfessor。Hewasastudentofmark，——firstfavoriteofhisyear，astheysayoftheDerbycolts。Thereareineveryclasshalfadozenbrightfacestowhichtheteachernaturally，directshisdiscourse，andbytheintermediationofwhoseattentionheseemstoholdthatofthemassoflisteners。Amongthesesomeoneisprettysuretotakethelead，byvirtueofapersonalmagnetism，orsomepeculiarityofexpression，whichplacesthefaceinquicksympatheticrelationswiththelecturer。Thiswasayoungmanwithsuchaface；andIfound，——foryouhaveguessedthatIwasthe“Professor“above-mentioned，——that，whentherewasanythingdifficulttobeexplained，orwhenIwasbringingoutsomefavoriteillustrationofanicepoint，as，forinstance；whenIcomparedthecell-growth，bywhichNaturebuildsupaplantorananimal，totheglassblower’ssimilarmodeofbeginning，——alwayswithahollowsphere，orvesicle，whateverheisgoingtomake，Inaturallylookedinhisfaceandgaugedmysuccessbyitsexpression。
Itwasahandsomeface，——alittletoopale，perhaps，andwouldhavebornesomethingmoreoffulnesswithoutbecomingheavy。IputtheorganizationtowhichitbelongsinSectionBofClass1ofmyAnglo-
AmericanAnthropologyunpublished。Thejawinthissectionisbutslightlynarrowed，——justenoughtomakethewidthoftheforeheadtellmoredecidedly。Themoustacheoftengrowsvigorously，butthewhiskersarethin。TheskinislikethatofJacob，ratherthanlikeEsau’s。Onestringoftheanimalnaturehasbeentakenaway，butthisgivesonlyagreaterpredominancetotheintellectualchords。
Toseejusthowthevitalenergyhasbeentoneddown，youmustcontrastoneofthissectionwithaspecimenofSectionAofthesameclass，——say，forinstance，oneoftheold-fashioned，full-whiskered，red-faced，roaring，bigCommodoresofthelastgeneration，whomyouremember，atleastbytheirportraits，inruffledshirts，lookingasheartyasbutchersandaspluckyasbull-terriers，withtheirhaircombedstraightupfromtheirforeheads，whichwerenotcommonlyveryhighorbroad。ThespecialformofphysicallifeIhavebeendescribinggivesyouarighttoexpectmoredelicateperceptionsandamorereflective，naturethanyoucommonlyfindinshaggy-throatedmen，cladinheavysuitsofmuscles。
Thestudentlingeredinthelecture-room，lookingallthetimeasifhewantedtosaysomethinginprivate，andwaitingfortwoorthreeothers，whowerestillhangingabout，tobegone。
Somethingiswrong！——Isaidtomyself，whenInoticedhisexpression——Well，Mr。Langdon，——Isaidtohim，whenwewerealone，——canIdoanythingforyouto-day？
Youcan，Sir，——hesaid——Iamgoingtoleavetheclass，forthepresent，andkeepschool。
Why，that’sapity，andyousoneargraduating！You’dbetterstayandfinishthiscourseandtakeyourdegreeinthespring，ratherthanbreakupyourwholeplanofstudy。
Ican’thelpmyself，Sir，——theyoungmananswered——There’stroubleathome，andtheycannotkeepmehereastheyhavedone。SoImustlookoutformyselfforawhile。It’swhatI’vedonebefore，andamreadytodoagain。Icametoaskyouforacertificateofmyfitnesstoteachacommonschool，orahighschool，ifyouthinkIamuptothat。Areyouwillingtogiveittome？
Willing？Yes，tobesure，——butIdon’twantyoutogo。Stay；we’llmakeiteasyforyou。There’safundwilldosomethingforyou，perhaps。Thenyoucantakeboththeannualprizes，ifyoulike，——andclaimtheminmoney，ifyouwantthatmorethanmedals。
Ihavethoughtitallover，——heanswered，——andhaveprettymuchmadeupmymindtogo。
Aperfectlygentlemanlyyoungman，ofcourteousaddressandmildutterance，butmeansatleastasmuchashesays。Therearesomepeoplewhoserhetoricconsistsofaslighthabitualunder-statement。
IoftentellMrs。Professorthatoneofher“Ithinkit’ssos“isworththeBible-oathofalltherestofthehouseholdthatthey“knowit’sso。”Whenyoufindapersonalittlebetterthanhisword，alittlemoreliberalthanhispromise，alittlemorethanborneoutinhisstatementbyhisfacts，alittlelargerindeedthaninspeech，yourecognizeakindofeloquenceinthatperson’sutterancenotlaiddowninBlairorCampbell。
Thiswasaproudfellow，self-trusting，sensitive，withfamily-
recollectionsthatmadehimunwillingtoacceptthekindofaidwhichmanystudentswouldhavethankfullywelcomed。Iknewhimtoowelltourgehim，afterthefewwordswhichimpliedthathewasdeterminedtogo。Besides，Ihavegreatconfidenceinyoungmenwhobelieveinthemselves，andareaccustomedtorelyontheirownresourcesfromanearlyperiod。Whenaresoluteyoungfellowstepsuptothegreatbully，theWorld，andtakeshimboldlybythebeard，heisoftensurprisedtofinditcomeoffinhishand，andthatitwasonlytiedontoscareawaytimidadventurers。Ihaveseenyoungmenmorethanonce，whocametoagreatcitywithoutasinglefriend，supportthemselvesandpayfortheireducation，layupmoneyinafewyears，growrichenoughtotravel，andestablishthemselvesinlife，withouteveraskingadollarofanypersonwhichtheyhadnotearned。Buttheseareexceptionalcases。Therearehorse-tamers，bornso，——asweallknow；therearewoman-tamers，whobewitchthesexasthepiedpiperbedeviledthechildrenofHamelin；andthereareworld-tamers，whocanmakeanycommunity，evenaYankeeone，getdownandletthemjumponitsbackaseasilyasMr。RareysaddledCruiser。
WhetherLangdonwasofthissortornotIcouldnotsaypositively；
buthehadspirit，and，asIhavesaid，afamily-pridewhichwouldnotlethimbedependent。TheNewEnglandBrahmincasteoftengetsblendedwithconnectionsofpoliticalinfluenceorcommercialdistinction。Itisacharmingthingforthescholar，whenhisfortunecarrieshiminthiswayintosomeofthe“oldfamilies“whohavefineoldhouses，andcity-lotsthathaveriseninthemarket，andnameswritteninallthestock-booksofallthedividend-payingcompanies。Hisnarrowstudyexpandsintoastatelylibrary，hisbooksarecountedbythousandsinsteadofhundreds，andhisfavoritesaredressedingildedcalfinplaceofplebeiansheepskinoritspaupersubstitutesofclothandpaper。
TheReverendJedediahLangdon，grandfatherofouryounggentleman，hadmadeanadvantageousallianceofthiskind。MissDorotheaWentworthhadreadoneofhissermonswhichhadbeenprinted“byrequest。”andbecamedeeplyinterestedintheyoungauthor，whomshehadneverseen。Outofthiscircumstancegrewacorrespondence，aninterview，adeclaration，amatrimonialalliance，andafamilyofhalfadozenchildren。WentworthLangdon，Esquire，wastheoldestofthese，andlivedintheoldfamily-mansion。Unfortunately，thatprincipleofthediminutionofestatesbydivision，towhichIhavereferred，rendereditsomewhatdifficulttomaintaintheestablishmentuponthefractionalincomewhichtheproprietorreceivedfromhisshareoftheproperty。WentworthLangdon，Esq。，representedacertainintermediateconditionoflifenotatallinfrequentinouroldfamilies。Hewastheconnectinglinkbetweenthegenerationwhichlivedinease，andevenakindofstate，uponitsownresources，andthenewbrood，whichmustlivemainlybyitswitsorindustry，andmakeitselfrich，orshabbilysubsideintothatlowerstratumknowntosocialgeologistsbyadepositofKidderminstercarpetsandthepeculiaraspectofthefossilsconstitutingthefamilyfurnitureandwardrobe。Thisslack-waterperiodofarace，whichcomesbeforetherapidebbofitsprosperity，isfamiliartoallwholiveincities。Therearenomorequiet，inoffensivepeoplethanthesechildrenofrichfamilies，justabovethenecessityofactiveemployment，yetnotinaconditiontoplacetheirownchildrenadvantageously，iftheyhappentohavefamilies。
Manyofthemarecontenttoliveunmarried。Somemendtheirbrokenfortunesbyprudentalliances，andsomeleaveanumerousprogenytopassintotheobscurityfromwhichtheirancestorsemerged；sothatyoumayseeonhandcartsandcobblers’stallsnameswhich，afewgenerationsback，wereuponparchmentswithbroadseals，andtombstoneswitharmorialbearings。
Inalargecity，thisclassofcitizensisfamiliartousinthestreets。Theyareverycourteousintheirsalutations；theyhavetimeenoughtobowandtaketheirhatsoff，——which，ofcourse，nobusinessmancanaffordtodo。Theirbeaversaresmoothlybrushed，andtheirbootswellpolished；alltheirappointmentsaretidy；theylooktherespectablewalkinggentlemantoperfection。Theyarepronetohabits，——theyfrequentreading-rooms，——insurance-offices，——theywalkthesamestreetsatthesamehours，——sothatonebecomesfamiliarwiththeirfacesandpersons，asapartofthestreet-
furniture。
Thereisonecuriouscircumstance，thatallcity-peoplemusthavenoticed，whichisoftenillustratedinourexperienceoftheslack-
watergentry。Weshallknowacertainpersonbyhislooks，familiarly，foryears，butneverhavelearnedhisname。Aboutthispersonweshallhaveaccumulatednolittlecircumstantialknowledge；——
thus，hisface，figure，gait，hismodeofdressing，ofsaluting，perhapsevenofspeaking，maybefamiliartous；yetwhoheisweknownot。Inanotherdepartmentofourconsciousness，thereisaveryfamiliarname，whichwehaveneverfoundthepersontomatch。
Wehavehearditsooften，thatithasidealizeditself，andbecomeoneofthatmultitudeofpermanentshapeswhichwalkthechambersofthebraininvelvetslippersinthecompanyofFalstaffandHamletandGeneralWashingtonandMr。Pickwick。Sometimesthepersondies，butthenamelivesonindefinitely。Butnowandthenithappens，perhapsafteryearsofthisindependentexistenceofthenameanditsshadowyimageinthebrain，ontheonepart，andthepersonandallitsrealattributes，asweseethemdaily，ontheother，thatsomeaccidentrevealstheirrelation，andwefindthenamewehavecarriedsolonginourmemorybelongstothepersonwehaveknownsolongasafellow-citizen。Nowtheslack——watergentryareamongthepersonsmostlikelytobethesubjectsofthiscuriousdivorceoftitleandreality，——forthereason，that，playingnoimportantpartinthecommunity，thereisnothingtotiethefloatingnametotheactualindividual，asisthecasewiththemenwhobelonginanywaytothepublic，whileyettheirnameshaveacertainhistoricalcurrency，andwecannothelpmeetingthem，eitherintheirhaunts，orgoingtoandfromthem。
TothisclassbelongedWentworthLangdon，Esq。Hehadbeen“dead-
headed“intotheworldsomefiftyyearsago，andhadsatwithhishandsinhispocketsstaringattheshoweversince。Ishallnottellyou，forreasonsbeforehinted，thewholenameoftheplaceinwhichhelived。Iwillonlypointyouintherightdirection，bysayingthattherearethreetownslyinginalinewitheachother，asyougo“downEast。”eachofthemwithaPortinitsname，andeachofthemhavingapeculiarinterestwhichgivesitindividuality，inadditiontotheOrientalcharactertheyhaveincommon。IneednottellyouthatthesetownsareNewburyport，Portsmouth，andPortland。
TheOrientalcharactertheyhaveincommonconsistsintheirlarge，square，palatialmansions，withsunnygardensroundthem。Thetwofirsthaveseenbetterdays。Theyareinperfectharmonywiththeconditionofweakened，butnotimpoverished，gentility。Eachofthemisa“paradiseofdemi-fortunes。”Eachofthemisofthatintermediatesizebetweenavillageandacitywhichanyplacehasoutgrownwhenthepresenceofawell-dressedstrangerwalkingupanddownthemainstreetceasestobeamatterofpubliccuriosityandprivatespeculation，asfrequentlyhappens，duringthebusiermonthsoftheyear，inconsiderablecommercialcentreslikeSalem。Theybothhavegrandoldrecollectionstofallbackupon，——timeswhentheylookedforwardtocommercialgreatness，andwhentheportlygentlemenincockedhats，whobuilttheirnowdecayingwharvesandsentouttheirshipsallovertheworld，dreamedthattheirfast-growingportwastobetheTyreortheCarthageoftherichBritishColony。Greathouses，likethatoncelivedinbyLordTimothyDexter，inNewburyport，remainasevidenceofthefortunesamassedintheseplacesofold。Othermansions——liketheRockinghamHouseinPortsmouthlookatthewhitehorse’stailbeforeyoumountthebroadstaircase——showthattherewasnotonlywealth，butstyleandstate，inthesequietoldtownsduringthelastcentury。Itisnotwithanythoughtofpityordepreciationthatwespeakofthemasinacertainsensedecayedtowns；theydidnotfulfiltheirearlypromiseofexpansion，buttheyremainincomparablythemostinterestingplacesoftheirsizeinanyofthethreenorthernmostNewEnglandStates。
Theyhaveevennowprosperityenoughtokeepthemingoodcondition，andofferthemostattractiveresidencesforquietfamilies，which，iftheyhadbeenEnglish，wouldhavelivedinapalazzoatGenoaorPisa，orsomeotherContinentalNewburyportorPortsmouth。
AsforthelastofthethreePorts，orPortland，itisgettingtooprosperoustobeasattractiveasitslessnortherlyneighbors。
Meantforafineoldtown，toripenlikeaCheshirecheesewithinitswallsofancientrind，burrowedbycrookedalleysandmottledwithvenerablemould，itseemslikelytosacrificeitsmellowfuturetoavulgarmaterialprosperity。Stillitremainsinvestedwithmanyofitsoldcharms，asyet，andwillforfeititsplaceamongthisadmirabletrioonlywhenitgetsahotelwithunequivocalmarksofhavingbeenbuiltandorganizedinthepresentcentury——
ItwasoneoftheoldsquarepalacesoftheNorth，inwhichBernardLangdon，thesonofWentworth，wasborn。Ifhehadhadthelucktobeanonlychild，hemighthavelivedashisfatherhaddone，lettinghismeagrecompetencesmoulderonalmostwithoutconsuming，likethefuelinanair-tightstove。ButafterMasterBernardcameMissDorotheaElizabethWentworthLangdon，andthenMasterWilliamPepperellLangdon，andothers，equallywellnamed，——astringofthem，looking，whentheystoodinarowinprayer-time，asiftheywouldfitasetofPandeanpipes，offromthreefeetupwardindimensions。
Thedooroftheair-tightstovehastobeopened，undersuchcircumstances，youmaywellsuppose！Soithappenedthatouryoungmanhadbeenobliged，fromanearlyperiod，todosomethingtosupporthimself，andfoundhimselfstoppedshortinhisstudiesbytheinabilityofthegoodpeopleathometofurnishhimthepresentmeansofsupportasastudent。
Youwillunderstandnowwhytheyoungmanwantedmetogivehimacertificateofhisfitnesstoteach，andwhyIdidnotchoosetourgehimtoaccepttheaidwhichameekcountry-boyfromafamilywithoutante-Revolutionaryrecollectionswouldhavethankfullyreceived。Gohemust，——thatwasplainenough。Hewouldnotbecontentotherwise。
Hewasnot，however，togiveuphisstudies；andasitiscustomarytoallowhalf-timetostudentsengagedinschool-keeping，——thatis，tocountayear，soemployed，ifthestudentalsokeeponwithhisprofessionalstudies，asequaltosixmonthsofthethreeyearsheisexpectedtobeunderaninstructorbeforeapplyingforhisdegree，——
hewouldnotnecessarilylosemorethanafewmonthsoftime。Hehadasmalllibraryofprofessionalbooks，whichhecouldtakewithhim。
Soheleftmyteachingandthatofmyestimablecolleagues，carryingwithhimmycertificate，thatMr。BernardC。Langdonwasayounggentlemanofexcellentmoralcharacter，ofhighintelligenceandgoodeducation，andthathisserviceswouldbeofgreatvalueinanyschool，academy，orotherinstitution，whereyoungpersonsof-eithersexweretobeinstructed。
Iconfess，thatexpression，“eithersex。”ranalittlethick，asI
maysay，frommypen。For，althoughtheyoungmanboreaveryfaircharacter，andtherewasnospecialcausefordoubtinghisdiscretion，Iconsideredhimaltogethertoogood-looking，inthefirstplace，tobeletlooseinaroomfulofyounggirls。Ididn’twanthimtofallinlovejustthen——andifhalfadozengirlsfellinlovewithhim，astheymostassuredlywould，ifbroughtintotoonearrelationswithhim，why，therewasnotellingwhatgratitudeandnaturalsensibilitymightbringabout。
Certificatesare，forthemostpart，likeostrich-eggs；thegiverneverknowswhatishatchedoutofthem。Butonceinathousandtimestheyactascursesaresaidto，——comehometoroost。Givethemoftenenough，untilitgetstobeamechanicalbusiness，and，somedayorother，youwillgetcaughtwarrantingsomebody’sicenottomeltinanyclimate，orsomebody’srazorstobesafeinthehandsoftheyoungestchildren。
Ihadanuneasyfeeling，aftergivingthiscertificate。Itmightbeallrightenough；butifithappenedtoendbadly，Ishouldalwaysreproachmyself。Therewasachance，certainly，thatitwouldleadhimorothersintodangerorwretchedness。Anyonewholookedatthisyoungmancouldnotfailtoseethathewascapableoffascinatingandbeingfascinated。Thoselarge，darkeyesofhiswouldsinkintothewhitesoulofayounggirlastheblackclothsunkintothesnowinFranklin’sfamousexperiment。Or，ontheotherhand，iftheraysofapassionatenatureshouldeverbeconcentratedonthem，theywouldbeabsorbedintotheverydepthsofhisnature，andthenhisbloodwouldturntoflameandburnhislifeoutofhim，untilhischeeksgrewaswhiteastheashesthatcoveraburningcoal。
IwishIhadnotsaideithersexinmycertificate。Anacademyforyounggentlemen，now；thatsoundscoolandunimaginative。Aboys’
school，thatwouldbeaverygoodplaceforhim；——someofthemareprettyrough，butthereisnerveenoughinthatoldWentworthstrainofblood；hecangiveanycountryfellow，ofthecommonstock，twentypounds，andhithimoutoftimeintenminutes。Buttosendsuchayoungfellowasthatoutagirl’s-nesting！togivethisfalconafreepassintoallthedove-cotes！Iwasafool，——that’sall。
Ibroodedoverthemischiefwhichmightcomeoutofthesetwowordsuntilitseemedtomethattheywerechargedwithdestiny。IcouldhardlysleepforthinkingwhatatrainImighthavebeenlaying，whichmighttakeasparkanyday，andblowupnobodyknowswhosepeaceorprospects。WhatIdreadedmostwasoneofthosemiserablematrimonialmisallianceswhereayoungfellowwhodoesnotknowhimselfasyetflingshismagnificentfutureintothecheckedapron-
lapofsomefresh-faced，half-bredcountry-girl，nomorefittobematedwithhimthanherfather’shorsetogoindoubleharnesswithFloraTemple。Tothinkoftheeagle’swings，beingclippedsothatheshallneverlifthimselfoverthefarm-yardfence！Suchthingshappen，andalwaysmust，——because，asoneofussaidawhileago，amanalwaysloves，awoman，andawomanaman，unlesssomegoodreasonexiststothecontrary。Youthinkyourselfaveryfastidiousyoungman，myfriend；butthereareprobablyatleastfive-thousandyoungwomenintheseUnitedStates，anyoneofwhomyouwouldcertainlymarry，ifyouwerethrownmuchintohercompany，andnobodymoreattractivewerenear，andshehadnoobjection。Andyou，mydearyounglady，justlyprideyourselfonyourdiscerningdelicacy；butifIshouldsaythattherearetwentythousandyoungmen，anyoneofwhom，ifheofferedhishandandheartunderfavorablecircumstances，youwould“Firstendure，thenpity，thenembrace。”
IshouldbemuchmoreimprudentthanImeantobe，andyouwould，nodoubt，throwdownastoryinwhichIhopetointerestyou。
Ihadsettleditinmymindthatthisyoungfellowhadacareermarkedoutforhim。Heshouldbegininthenaturalway，bytakingcareofpoorpatientsinoneofthepubliccharities，andworkhiswayuptoabetterkindofpractice，——better，thatis，inthevulgar，worldlysense。ThegreatandgoodBoerhaaveusedtosay，asI
rememberverywell，thatthepoorwerehisbestpatients；forGodwastheirpaymaster。ButeverybodyisnotaspatientasBoerhaave，norasdeserving；sothattherich，thoughnot，perhaps，thebestpatients，aregoodenoughforcommonpractitioners。IsupposeBoerhaaveputupwiththemwhenhecouldnotgetpoorones，ashelefthisdaughtertwomillionsofflorinswhenhedied。
Nowifthisyoungmanoncegotintothewidestreets，hewouldsweepthemclearofhisrivalsofthesamestanding；andasIwasgettingindifferenttobusiness，andoldDr。Kilhamwasgrowingcareless，andhadonceortwiceprescribedmorphinewhenhemeantquinine，therewouldsoonbeanopeningintotheDoctor’sParadise，——thestreetswithonlyonesidetothem。ThenIwouldhavehimstrikeaboldstroke，——setupanicelittlecoach，andbedrivenroundlikeafirst-classLondondoctor，insteadofcoastingaboutinashabbyone-
horseconcernandcastinganchoroppositehispatients’doorslikeaCapeAnnfishing-smack。Bythetimehewasthirty，hewouldhaveknockedthesocialpawnsoutofhisway，andbereadytochallengeawifefromtherowofgreatpiecesinthebackground。Iwouldnothaveamanmarryabovehislevel，soastobecometheappendageofapowerfulfamily-connection；butIwouldnothavehimmarryuntilheknewhislevel，——thatis，again，lookingatthematterinapurelyworldlypointofview，andnottakingthesentimentsatallintoconsideration。Butremember，thatayoungman，usinglargeendowmentswiselyandfortunately，mayputhimselfonalevelwiththehighestinthelandintenbrilliantyearsofspirited，unflagginglabor。Andtostandattheverytopofyourcallinginagreatcityissomethinginitself，——thatis，ifyoulikemoney，andinfluence，andaseatontheplatformatpubliclectures，andgratuitousticketstoallsortsofplaceswhereyoudon’twanttogo，and，whatisagooddealbetterthananyofthesethings，asenseofpower，limited，itmaybe，butabsoluteinitsrange，sothatalltheCaesarsandNapoleonswouldhavetostandaside，iftheycamebetweenyouandtheexerciseofyourspecialvocation。
ThatiswhatIthoughtthisyoungfellowmighthavecometo；andnowIhavelethimgooffintothecountrywithmycertificate，thatheisfittoteachinaschoolforeithersex！Tentoonehewillrunlikeamothintoacandle，rightintooneofthosegirls’-nests，andgettangledupinsomesentimentalfollyorother，andtherewillbetheendofhim。Oh，yes！countrydoctor，——halfadollaravisit，——
drive，drive，driveallday，——getupatnightandharnessyourownhorse，——driveagaintenmilesinasnow-storm，shakepowdersoutoftwophials，pulv。glycyrrhiz。，pulv。gum。acac。aspartesequates，——drivebackagain，ifyoudon’thappentogetstuckinadrift，nohome，nopeace，nocontinuousmeals，nounbrokensleep，noSunday，noholiday，nosocialintercourse，butoneeternaljog，jog，jog，inasulky，untilyoufeellikethemummyofanIndianwhohadbeenburiedinthesittingposture，andwasdugupahundredyearsafterwards！Whydidn’tIwarnhimaboutloveandallthatnonsense？
Whydidn’tItellhimhehadnothingtodowithit，yetawhile？Whydidn’tIholduptohimthoseawfulexamplesIcouldhavecited，wherepooryoungfellowswhocouldjustkeepthemselvesafloathavehungamatrimonialmillstoneroundtheirnecks，takingitforalife-
preserver？Allthisoftwowordsinacertificate！
CHAPTERIII。
MR。BERNARDTRIESHISHAND。
WhethertheStudentadvertisedforaschool，orwhetherhefellinwiththeadvertisementofaschool-committee，isnotcertain。Atanyrate，itwasnotlongbeforehefoundhimselftheheadofalargedistrict，or，asitwascalledbytheinhabitants，“deestric“
school，intheflourishinginlandvillageofPequawkett，or，asitiscommonlyspelt，PigwacketCentre。Thenativesofthisplacewouldbesurprised，iftheyshouldhearthatanyofthereadersofaworkpublishedinBostonwereunacquaintedwithsoremarkablealocality。
As，however，somecopiesofitmaybereadatadistancefromthisdistinguishedmetropolis，itmaybewelltogiveafewparticularsrespectingtheplace，takenfromtheUniversalGazetteer。
“PIGWACKET，sometimesspeltPequawkett。Apost-villageandtownshipin_________Co。，Stateof_________，situatedinafineagriculturalregion，2thrivingvillages，PigwacketCentreandSmithville，3
churches，severalschoolhouses，andmanyhandsomeprivateresidences。MinkRiverrunsthroughthetown，navigableforsmallboatsafterheavyrains。MuddyPondatN。E。section，wellstockedwithhornpouts，eels，andshiners。Products，beef，pork，butter，cheese。Manufactures，shoe-pegs，clothes-pins，andtin-ware。Pop。
1373。”
Thereadermaythinkthereisnothingveryremarkableimpliedinthisdescription。If，howeverhehadreadthetown-history，bytheRev。
JabezGrubb，hewouldhavelearned，that，likethecelebratedLittlePedlington，itwasdistinguishedbymanyveryremarkableadvantages。
Thus：
“ThesituationofPigwacketiseminentlybeautiful，lookingdownthelovelyvalleyofMinkRiver，atributaryoftheMusquash。Theairissalubrious，andmanyoftheinhabitantshaveattainedgreatage，severalhavingpassedtheallottedperiodof’three-scoreyearsandten’beforesuccumbingtoanyofthevarious’illsthatfleshisheirto。’WidowComfortLeevinsdiedin1836AEt。LXXXVII。years。
Venus，anAfrican，diedin1841，supposedtobeC。yearsold。Thepeoplearedistinguishedforintelligence，ashasbeenfrequentlyremarkedbyeminentlyceum-lecturers，whohaveinvariablyspokeninthehighesttermsofaPigwacketaudience。Thereisapubliclibrary，containingnearlyahundredvolumes，freetoallsubscribers。Thepreachedwordiswellattended，thereisaflourishingtemperancesociety，andtheschoolsareexcellent。ItisaresidenceadmirablyadaptedtorefinedfamilieswhorelishthebeautiesofNatureandthecharmsofsociety。TheHonorableJohnSmith，formerlyamemberoftheStateSenate，wasanativeofthistown。”
Thatisthewaytheyalltalk。Afterall，itisprobablyprettymuchlikeotherinlandNewEnglandtownsinpointof“salubrity。”——thatis，givespeopletheirchoiceofdysenteryorfevereveryautumn，withaseason-ticketforconsumption，goodalltheyearround。Andsooftheotherpretences。“Pigwacketaudience。”forsooth！Wasthereeveranaudienceanywhere，thoughtherewasn’tapairofeyesinitbrighterthanpickledoysters，thatdidn’tthinkitwas“distinguishedforintelligence“？——“Thepreachedword“！ThatmeanstheRev。JabezGrubb’ssermons。“Temperancesociety“！“Excellentschools“！Ah，thatisjustwhatweweretalkingabout。
Thetruthwas，thatDistrictNo。1，PigwacketCentre，hadhadagooddealoftroubleoflatewithitsschoolmasters。Thecommitteehaddonetheirbest，buttherewereanumberofwell-grownandprettyroughyoungfellowswhohadgottheupper-handofthemasters，andmeanttokeepit。Twodynastieshadfallenbeforetheuprisingofthisfiercedemocracy。Thiswasathingthatusedtobenotveryuncommon；butinso“intelligent“acommunityasthatofPigwacketCentre，inaneraofpubliclibrariesandlyceum-lectures，itwasportentousandalarming。
TherebellionbeganundertheferuleofMasterWeeks，aslenderyouthfromacountrycollege，underfed，thin-blooded，sloping-shouldered，knock-kneed，straight-haired，weak-bearded，pale-eyed，wide-pupilled，half-colored；acommontypeenoughinin-doorraces，notrichenoughtopickandchooseintheiralliances。Naturekillsoffagoodmanyofthissortinthefirstteething-time，afewinlaterchildhood，agoodmanyagaininearlyadolescence；buteverynowandthenonerunsthegauntletofhervariousdiseases，orratherformsofonedisease，andgrowsup，asMasterWeekshaddone。
ItwasaveryfoolishthingforhimtotrytoinflictpersonalpunishmentonsuchalustyyoungfellowasAbnerBriggs，Junior，oneofthe“hardestcustomers“inthewayofarough-and-tumblefightthattherewereanywhereround。Nodoubthehadbeeninsolent，butitwouldhavebeenbettertooverlookit。Itpainsmetoreporttheeventswhichtookplacewhenthemastermadehisrashattempttomaintainhisauthority。AbnerBriggs，Junior，wasagreat，hulkingfellow，whohadbeenbredtobutchering，buturgedbyhisparentstoattendschool，inordertolearntheelegantaccomplishmentsofreadingandwriting，inwhichhewassadlydeficient。Hewasinthehabitoftalkingandlaughingprettyloudinschool-hours，ofthrowingwadsofpaperreducedtoapulpbyanaturalandeasyprocess，ofoccasionalinsolenceandgeneralnegligence。Oneofthesoft，butunpleasantmissilesjustalludedtoflewbythemaster’sheadonemorning，andflatteneditselfagainstthewall，whereitadheredintheformofaconvexmassinaltorilievo。Themasterlookedroundandsawtheyoungbutcher’sarminanattitudewhichpointedtoitunequivocallyasthesourcefromwhichtheprojectilehadtakenitsflight。
MasterWeeksturnedpale。Hemust“lick“AbnerBriggs，Junior，orabdicate。SohedeterminedtolickAbnerBriggs，Junior。
“Comehere，Sir！“hesaid；“youhaveinsultedmeandoutragedthedecencyoftheschoolroomoftenenough！Holdoutyourhand！“
Theyoungfellowgrinnedandhelditout。Themasterstruckatitwithhisblackruler，withawillintheblowandasnappingoftheeyes，asmuchastosaythathemeanttomakehimsmartthistime。
Theyoungfellowpulledhishandbackastherulercamedown，andthemasterhithimselfaviciousblowwithitontherightknee。Therearethingsnomancanstand。Themastercaughttherefractoryyouthbythecollarandbeganshakinghim，orrathershakinghimselfagainsthim。
“Le’goo’thatarecoat，naow。”saidthefellow，“orI’llmakeye！
’T’lltaketewonyet’handleme，Itellye，’n’thenyecaantdewit！“——andtheyoungpupilreturnedthemaster’sattentionbycatchingholdofhiscollar。
Whenitcomestothat，thebestman，notexactlyinthemoralsense，butratherinthematerial，andmoreespeciallythemuscularpointofview，isveryapttohavethebestofit，irrespectivelyofthemeritsofthecase。Soithappenednow。Theunfortunateschoolmasterfoundhimselftakingthemeasureofthesandedfloor，amidstthegeneraluproaroftheschool。Fromthatmomenthisferulewasbroken，andtheschool-committeeverysoonhadavacancytofill。
MasterPigeon，thesuccessorofMasterWeeks，wasofbetterstature，butlooselyputtogether，andslender-limbed。Adreadfullynervouskindofmanhewas，walkedontiptoe，startedatsuddennoises，wasdistressedwhenheheardawhisper，hadaquick，suspiciouslook，andwasalwayssaying，“Hush？“andputtinghishandstohisears。Theboyswerenotlonginfindingoutthisnervousweakness，ofcourse。
Inlessthanaweekaregularsystemoftormentswasinaugurated，fullofthemostdiabolicalmaliceandingenuity。Theexercisesoftheconspiratorsvariedfromdaytoday，butconsistedmainlyoffoot-scraping，solosontheslate-pencil，makingitscreechontheslate，fallingofheavybooks，attacksofcoughing，bangingofdesk-
lids，boot-creaking，withsoundsasofdrawingacorkfromtimetotime，followedbysuppressedchuckles。
MasterPigeongrewworseandworseundertheseinflictions。Therascallyboysalwayshadanexcuseforanyonetricktheywerecaughtat。“Couldn’helpcoughin’，Sir。”“Slippedouto’m’han’，Sir。”
“Didn’goto，Sir。”“Didn’dew’to’purpose，Sir。”Andsoon，——
alwaysthebestofreasonsforthemostoutrageousofbehavior。Themasterweighedhimselfatthegrocer’sonaplatformbalance，sometendaysafterhebegankeepingtheschool。Attheendofaweekheweighedhimselfagain。Hehadlosttwopounds。Attheendofanotherweekhehadlostfive。Hemadealittlecalculation，basedonthesedata，fromwhichhelearnedthatinacertainnumberofmonths，goingonatthisrate，heshouldcometoweighpreciselynothingatall；andasthiswasasuminsubtractionhedidnotcaretoworkoutinpractice，MasterPigeontooktohimselfwingsandlefttheschool-committeeinpossessionofaletterofresignationandavacantplacetofilloncemore。
ThiswastheschooltowhichMr。BernardLangdonfoundhimselfappointedasmaster。Heacceptedtheplaceconditionally，withtheunderstandingthatheshouldleaveitattheendofamonth，ifheweretiredofit。
TheadventofMasterLangdontoPigwacketCentrecreatedamuchmorelivelysensationthanhadattendedthatofeitherofhispredecessors。Looksgoagoodwayalltheworldover，andthoughtherewereseveralgood-lookingpeopleintheplace，andMajorBushwaswhatthenativesofthetowncalleda“hahnsomemahn。”thatis，big，fat，andred，yetthesightofareallyelegantyoungfellow，withthenaturalairwhichgrowsupwithcarefully-bredyoungpersons，wasanovelty。TheBrahminbloodwhichcamefromhisgrandfatheraswellasfromhismother，adirectdescendantoftheoldFlyntfamily，wellknownbythefamoustutor，HenryFlynt，seeCat。Harv。Anno1693，hadbeenenlivenedandenrichedbythatoftheWentworths，whichhadhadagooddealofripeoldMadeiraandothergenerouselementsmingledwithit，sothatitrantogoutsometimesintheoldfolksandtohighspirit，warmcomplexion，andcurlyhairinsomeoftheyoungerones。ThesoftcurlinghairMr。
Bernardhadinherited，——something，perhaps，ofthehighspirit；butthatweshallhaveachanceoffindingoutbyandby。ButthelongsermonsandthefrugalboardofhisBrahminancestry，withhisownhabitsofstudy，hadtolduponhiscolor，whichwassubduedtosomethingmoreofdelicacythanonewouldcaretoseeinayoungfellowwithroughworkbeforehim。This，however，madehimlookmoreinteresting，or，astheyoungladiesatMajorBush’ssaid，“interestin’。”
WhenMr。Bernardshowedhimselfatmeeting，onthefirstSundayafterhisarrival，itmaybesupposedthatagoodmanyeyeswereturnedupontheyoungschoolmaster。Therewassomethingheroicinhiscomingforwardsoreadilytotakeaplacewhichcalledforastronghand，andaprompt，steadywilltoguideit。Infact，hispositionwasthatofamilitarychieftainontheeveofabattle。EverybodykneweverythinginPigwacketCentre；anditwasanunderstoodthingthattheyoungrebelsmeanttoputdownthenewmaster，iftheycould。Itwasnaturalthatthetwoprettiestgirlsinthevillage，calledinthelocaldialect，asnearlyasourlimitedalphabetwillrepresentit，AlminyCutterr，andArvillyBraowne，shouldfeelandexpressaninterestinthegood-lookingstranger，andthat，whentheirflatteringcommentswererepeatedinthehearingoftheirindigenousadmirers，amongwhomweresomeoftheolder“boys“oftheschool，itshouldnotaddtotheamiabledispositionsoftheturbulentyouth。
Mondaycame，andthenewschoolmasterwasinhischairattheupperendoftheschoolhouse，ontheraisedplatform。Therusticslookedathishandsomeface，thoughtful，peaceful，pleasant，cheerful，butsharplycutroundthelipsandproudlylightedabouttheeyes。Theringleaderofthemischief-makers，theyoungbutcherwhohasbeforefiguredinthisnarrative，lookedathimstealthily，wheneverhegotachancetostudyhimunobserved；forthetruthwas，hefeltuncomfortable，wheneverhefoundthelarge，darkeyesfixedonhisownlittle，sharp，deep-set，grayones。Buthemanagedtostudyhimprettywell，——firsthisface，thenhisneckandshoulders，thesetofhisarms，thenarrowingattheloins，themakeofhislegs，andthewayhemoved。Inshort，heexaminedhimashewouldhaveexaminedasteer，toseewhathecoulddoandhowhewouldcutup。Ifhecouldonlyhavegonetohimandfeltofhismuscles，hewouldhavebeenentirelysatisfied。Hewasnotaverywiseyouth，buthedidknowwellenough，that，thoughbigarmsandlegsareverygoodthings，thereissomethingbesidessizethatgoestomakeaman；andhehadheardstoriesofafighting-man，called“TheSpider。”fromhisattenuatedproportions，whowasyetaterriblehitterinthering，andhadwhippedmanyabig-limbedfellow，inandoutoftheropedarena。
Nothingcouldbesmootherthanthewayinwhicheverythingwentonforthefirstdayortwo。Thenewmasterwassokindandcourteous，heseemedtotakeeverythinginsuchanatural，easyway，thattherewasnochancetopickaquarrelwithhim。Heinthemeantimethoughtitbesttowatchtheboysandyoungmenforadayortwowithaslittleshowofauthorityaspossible。Itwaseasyenoughtoseethathewouldhaveoccasionforitbeforelong。
Theschoolhousewasagrim，old，red，one-storybuilding，perchedonabarerockatthetopofahill，——partlybecausethiswasaconspicuoussiteforthetempleoflearning，andpartlybecauselandischeapwherethereisnochanceevenforryeorbuckwheat，andtheverysheepfindnothingtonibble。Aboutthelittleporchwerecarvedinitialsanddates，atvariousheights，fromthestatureofninetothatofeighteen。Insidewereoldunpainteddesks，——
unpainted，butbrownedwiththeumberofhumancontact，——andhackedbyinnumerablejack-knives。Itwaslongsincethewallshadbeenwhitewashed，asmightbeconjecturedbythevarioustracesleftuponthem，whereveridlehandsorsleepyheadscouldreachthem。A
curiousappearancewasnoticeableonvarioushigherpartsofthewall：namely，awart-likeeruption，asonewouldbetemptedtocallit，beinginrealityacropofthesoftmissilesbeforementioned，which，adheringinconsiderablenumbers，andhardeningaftertheusualfashionofpapier-mache，formedatlastpermanentornamentsoftheedifice。
Theyoungmaster’squickeyesoonnoticedthataparticularpartofthewallwasmostfavoredwiththeseornamentalappendages。Theirpositionpointedsufficientlyclearlytothepartoftheroomtheycamefrom。Infact，therewasanestofyoungmutineersjustthere，whichmustbebrokenupbyacoupd’etat。Thiswaseasilyeffectedbyredistributingtheseatsandarrangingthescholarsaccordingtoclasses，sothatamischievousfellow，chargedfulloftherebelliousimponderable，shouldfindhimselfbetweentwonon-conductors，intheshapeofsmallboysofstudioushabits。Itwasmanagedquietlyenough，insuchaplausiblesortofwaythatitsmotivewasnotthoughtof。Butitseffectsweresoonfelt；andthenbeganasystemofcorrespondencebysigns，andthethrowingoflittlescrawlsdoneupinpellets，andannouncedbypreliminarya’h’ms！tocalltheattentionofthedistantyouthaddressed。Someofthesewereincendiarydocuments，devotingtheschoolmastertothelowerdivinities，as“astuck-updandy。”as“apurse-proudaristocrat。”as“asighttoobigforhis，etc……”andholdinghimupinavarietyofequallyforciblephrasestotheindignationoftheyouthfulcommunityofSchoolDistrictNo。1，PigwacketCentre。
Presentlythedraughtsmanoftheschoolsetacaricatureincirculation，labelled，topreventmistakes，withtheschoolmaster’sname。Animmensebell-crownedhat，andalong，pointed，swallow-
tailedcoatshowedthattheartisthadinhismindtheconventionaldandy，asshowninprintsofthirtyorfortyyearsago，ratherthananyactualhumanaspectofthetime。Butitwaspassedroundamongtheboysandmadeitslaugh，helpingofcoursetounderminethemaster’sauthority，as“Punch“orthe“Charivari“takesthedignityoutofanobnoxiousminister。Onemorning，ongoingtotheschoolroom，MasterLangdonfoundanenlargedcopyofthissketch，withitslabel，pinnedonthedoor。Hetookitdown，smiledalittle，putitintohispocket，andenteredtheschoolroom。Aninsidioussilenceprevailed，whichlookedasifsomeplotwerebrewing。Theboyswereripeformischief，butafraid。Theyhadreallynofaulttofindwiththemaster，exceptthathewasdressedlikeagentleman，whichacertainclassoffellowsalwaysconsiderapersonalinsulttothemselves。Buttheolderoneswereevidentlyplotting，andmorethanoncethewarninga’h’m！washeard，andadirtylittlescrapofpaperrolledintoawadshotfromoneseattoanother。Oneofthesehappenedtostrikethestove-funnel，andlodgedonthemaster’sdesk。Hewascoolenoughnottoseemtonoticeit。Hesecuredit，however，andfoundanopportunitytolookatit，withoutbeingobservedbytheboys。Itrequirednoimmediatenotice。
HewhoshouldhaveenjoyedtheprivilegeoflookinguponMr。BernardLangdonthenextmorning，whenhistoiletwasabouthalffinished，wouldhavehadaverypleasantgratuitousexhibition。Firsthebuckledthestrapofhistrousersprettytightly。Thenhetookupapairofheavydumb-bells，andswungthemforafewminutes；thentwogreat“Indianclubs。”withwhichheenactedallsortsofimpossible-
lookingfeats。Hislimbswerenotverylarge，norhisshouldersremarkablybroad；butifyouknewasmuchofthemusclesasallpersonswholookatstatuesandpictureswithacriticaleyeoughttohavelearned，——ifyouknewthetrapezius，lyingdiamond-shapedoverthebackandshoulderslikeamonk’scowl，——orthedeltoid，whichcapstheshoulderlikeanepaulette，——orthetriceps，whichfurnishesthecalfoftheupperarm，——orthehard-knottedbiceps，——anyofthegreatsculpturallandmarks，infact，——youwouldhavesaidtherewasaprettyshowofthem，beneaththewhitesatinyskinofMr。BernardLangdon。Andifyouhadseenhim，whenhehadlaiddowntheIndianclubs，catchholdofaleatherstrapthathungfromthebeamoftheold-fashionedceiling，——andliftandlowerhimselfoverandoveragainbyhislefthandalone，youmighthavethoughtitaverysimpleandeasythingtodo，untilyoutriedtodoityourself。Mr。Bernardlookedathimselfwiththeeyeofanexpert。“Prettywell！“hesaid；——“notsomuchfallenoffasIexpected。”Thenhesetuphisbolsterinaveryknowingsortofway，anddeliveredtwoorthreeblowsstraightasrulersandswiftaswinks。“Thatwilldo。”hesaid。Then，asifdeterminedtomakeacertaintyofhiscondition，hetookadynamometerfromoneofthedrawersinhisoldveneeredbureau。Firsthesqueezeditwithhistwohands。Thenheplaceditonthefloorandlifted，steadily，strongly。Thespringscreakedandcracked；theindexsweptwithagreatstridefarupintothehighfiguresofthescale；itwasagoodlift。Hewassatisfied。Hesatdownontheedgeofhisbedandlookedathiscleanly-shapedarms。
“IfIstrikeoneofthoseboobies，IamafraidIshallspoilhim。”hesaid。Yetthisyoungman，whenweighedwithhisclassatthecollege，couldbarelyturnonehundredandforty-twopoundsinthescale，——notaheavyweight，surely；butsomeofthemiddleweights，asthepresentEnglishchampion，forinstance，seemtobeofafarfinerqualityofmusclethanthebulkierfellows。
Themastertookhisbreakfastwithagoodappetitethatmorning，butwasperhapsrathermorequietthanusual。Afterbreakfasthewentup-stairsandput，onalightloosefrock，insteadofthatwhichhecommonlywore，whichwasaclose-fittingandratherstylishone。OnhiswaytoschoolhemetAlminyCutterr，whohappenedtobewalkingintheotherdirection。“Good-morning，MissCutter。”hesaid；forsheandanotheryoungladyhadbeenintroducedtohim，onaformeroccasion，intheusualphraseofpolitesocietyinpresentingladiestogentlemen，——“Mr。Langdon，letmemakey’acquaintedwithMissCutterr；——letmemakey’acquaintedwithMissBraowne。”Sohesaid，“Good-morning“；towhichshereplied，“Good-mornin’，Mr。Langdon。
Haow’syourhaalth？“Theanswertothisquestionoughtnaturallytohavebeentheendofthetalk；butAlminyCutterrlingeredandlookedasifshehadsomethingmoreonhermind。
Ayoungfellowdoesnotrequireagreatexperiencetoreadasimplecountry-girl’sfaceasifitwereasign-board。Alminywasagoodsoul，withredcheeksandbrighteyes，kind-heartedasshecouldbe，anditwasoutofthequestionforhertohideherthoughtsorfeelingslikeafinelady。Herbrighteyesweremoistandherredcheekspalerthantheirwont，asshesaid，withherlipsquivering，“Oh，Mr。Langdon，themboys’llbethedeathofye，ifyedon’ttakecaar！“
“Why，what’sthematter，mydear？“saidMr。Bernard——Don’tthinktherewasanythingveryoddinthat“mydear。”atthesecondinterviewwithavillagebelle；——someofthesewoman-tamerscallagirl“Mydear。”afterfiveminutes’acquaintance，anditsoundsallrightastheysayit。Butyouhadbetternottryitataventure。
ItsoundedallrighttoAlminy，asMr。Bernardsaidit——“I’lltellyewhat’sthemahtterr。”shesaid，inafrightenedvoice。“Ahbner’sgo’n’tocar’hisdog，’n’he’llsethimonye’zsure’zy’’r’
alive。’T’sthesamecreturthathaafeatupEbenSquires’slittleJo，ayearcomenex’Faastday。”
Nowthislaststatementwasundoubtedlyovercolored；aslittleJoSquireswasrunningaboutthevillage，——withanuglyscaronhisarm，itistrue，wherethebeasthadcaughthimwithhisteeth，ontheoccasionofthechild’stakinglibertieswithhim，ashehadbeenaccustomedtodowithagood-temperedNewfoundlanddog，whoseemedtolikebeingpulledandhauledroundbychildren。Afterthisthecreaturewascommonlymuzzled，and，ashewasfedonrawmeatchiefly，wasalwaysreadyforafight，whichhewasoccasionallyindulgedin，whenanythingstoutenoughtomatchhimcouldbefoundinanyoftheneighboringvillages。
Tiger，or，morebriefly，Tige，thepropertyofAbnerBriggs，Junior，belongedtoaspeciesnotdistinctlynamedinscientificbooks，butwellknowntoourcountry-folksunderthename“Yallahdog。”Theydonotusethisexpressionastheywouldsayblackdogorwhitedog，butwithalmostasdefiniteameaningaswhentheyspeakofaterrieroraspaniel。A“yallahdog“isalargecaninebrute，ofadingyold-
flannelcolor，ofnoparticularbreedexcepthisown，whohangsroundatavernorabutcher’sshop，ortrotsalongsideofateam，lookingasifheweredisgustedwiththeworld，andtheworldwithhim。Ourinlandpopulation，whiletheytoleratehim，speakofhimwithcontempt。Old______，ofMeredithBridge，usedtotwitthesunfornotshiningoncloudydays，swearing，that，ifhehunguphis“yallahdog。”hewouldmakeabettershowofdaylight。Acountryfellow，abusingahorseofhisneighbor’s，vowed，that，“ifhehadsuchahoss，he’dswaphimfora`yallahdog，’——andthenshootthedog。”
Tigewasanill-conditionedbrutebynature，andarthadnotimprovedhimbycroppinghisearsandtailandinvestinghimwithaspikedcollar。Heboreonhisperson，also，variousnotornamentalscars，marksofoldbattles；forTigehadfightinhim，aswassaidbefore，andasmightbeguessedbyacertainbluntnessaboutthemuzzle，withaprojectionofthelowerjaw，whichlookedasiftheremightbeabull-dogstripeamongthenumerousbar-sinistersofhislineage。
Itwashardlyfair，however，toleaveAlminyCutterrwaitingwhilethispieceofnaturalhistorywastelling——AsshespokeoflittleJo，whohadbeen“haafeatup“byTige，shecouldnotcontainhersympathies，andbegantocry。
“Why，mydearlittlesoul。”saidMr。Bernard，“whatareyouworriedabout？IusedtoplaywithabearwhenIwasaboy；andthebearusedtohugme，andIusedtokisshim，——so！“
ItwastoobadofMr。Bernard，onlythesecondtimehehadseenAlminy；butherkindfeelingshadtouchedhim，andthatseemedthemostnaturalwayofexpressinghisgratitude。Ahninylookedroundtoseeifanybodywasnear；shesawnobody，soofcourseitwoulddonogoodto“holler。”Shesawnobody；butastoutyoungfellow，leadingayellowdog，muzzled，sawherthroughacrackinapicketfence，notagreatwayofftheroad。Manyayearhehadbeen“hangin’’raoun’“
Alminy，andneverdidheseeanyencouraginglook，orhearany“Behave，naow！“or“Come，naow，a’n’tye’shamed？“orotherforbiddingphraseofacquiescence，suchasvillagebellesunderstandaswellaseverdidthenymphwhofledtothewillowsintheeclogueweallremember。
Nowonderhewasfurious，whenhesawtheschoolmaster，whohadneverseenthegirluntilwithinaweek，touchingwithhislipsthoserosycheekswhichhehadneverdaredtoapproach。Butthatwasall；
itwasasuddenimpulse；andthemasterturnedawayfromtheyounggirl，laughing，andtellinghernottofretherselfabouthim，——hewouldtakecareofhimself。
SoMasterLangdonwalkedontowardhisschool-house，notdispleased，perhaps，withhislittleadventure，norimmenselyelatedbyit；forhewasoneofthenaturalclassofthesex-subduers，andhadhadmanyasmilewithoutasking，whichhadbeendeniedtothefeebleyouthwhotrytowinfavorbypleadingtheirpassioninrhyme，andeventothemoreformidableapproachesofyoungofficersinvolunteercompanies，consideredbymanytobequiteirresistibletothefairwhohaveoncebeheldthemfromtheirwindowsintheepaulettesandplumesandsashesofthe“PigwacketInvincibles。”orthe“HackmatackRangers。”
MasterLangdontookhisseatandbegantheexercisesofhisschool。
Thesmallerboysrecitedtheirlessonswellenough，butsomeofthelargeroneswerenegligentandsurly。Henoticedoneortwoofthemlookingtowardthedoor，asifexpectingsomebodyorsomethinginthatdirection。Athalfpastnineo’clock，AbnerBriggs，Junior，whohadnotyetshownhimself，madehisappearance。Hewasfollowedbyhis“yallahdog。”withouthismuzzle，whosquatteddownverygrimlynearthedoor，andgaveawolfishlookroundtheroom，asifhewereconsideringwhichwastheplumpestboytobeginwith。Theyoungbutcher，meanwhile，wenttohisseat，lookingsomewhatflushed，exceptroundthelips，whichwerehardlyasredascommon，andsetprettysharply。
“Putoutthatdog，AbnerBriggs！“——Themasterspokeasthecaptainspeakstothehelmsman，whentherearerocksfoamingatthelips，rightunderhislee。
AbnerBriggsansweredasthehelmsmananswers，whenheknowshehasamutinouscrewroundhimthatmeantoruntheshiponthereef，andisoneofthemutineershimself。“Puthimaouty’rself，’fyea’n’tafeardonhim！“
Themastersteppedintotheaisle：Thegreatcurshowedhisteeth，——
andthedevilishinstinctsofhisoldwolf-ancestrylookedoutofhiseyes，andflashedfromhissharptusks，andyawnedinhiswidemouthanddeepredgullet。
Themovementsofanimalsaresomuchquickerthanthoseofhumanbeingscommonlyare，thattheyavoidblowsaseasilyasoneofusstepsoutofthewayofanox-cart。Itmustbeaverystupiddogthatletshimselfberunoverbyafastdriverinhisgig；hecanjumpoutofthewheel’swayafterthetirehasalreadytouchedhim。
So，whileoneisliftingasticktostrikeordrawingbackhisfoottokick，thebeastmakeshisspring，andthebloworthekickcomestoolate。
Itwasnotsothistime。Themasterwasafencer，andsomethingofaboxer；hehadplayedatsinglestick，andwasusedtowatchinganadversary’seyeandcomingdownonhimwithoutanyofthosepremonitorysymptomsbywhichunpractisedpersonsshowlongbeforehandwhatmischieftheymeditate。
“Outwithyou！“hesaid，fiercely，——andexplainedwhathemeantbyasuddenflashofhisfootthatclashedtheyellowdog’swhiteteethtogetherlikethespringingofabear-trap。Thecurknewhehadfoundhismasteratthefirstwordandglance，aslowanimalsonfourlegs，orasmallernumber，alwaysdo；andtheblowtookhimsobysurprise，thatitcurledhimupinaninstant，andhewentbundlingoutoftheopenschoolhouse-doorwithamostpitiableyelp，andhisstumpofatailshutdownascloseashisownerevershuttheshort，stubbedbladeofhisjack-knife。
Itwastimefortheothercurtofindwhohismaster。
“Followyourdog，AbnerBriggs！“saidMasterLangdon。
Thestoutbutcher-youthlookedround，buttherebelswereallcowedandsatstill。
“I’llgowhenI’mready。”hesaid，——“’n’IguessIwon’tgoaforeI’mready。”
“You’rereadynow。”saidMasterLangdon，turninguphiscuffssothatthelittleboysnoticedtheyellowgleamofapairofgoldsleeve-
buttons，oncewornbyColonelPercyWentworth，famousintheOldFrenchWar。
AbnerBriggs，Junior，didnotapparentlythinkhewasready，atanyrate；forheroseupinhisplace，andstoodwithclenchedfists，defiant，asthemasterstrodetowardshim。Themasterknewthefellowwasreallyfrightened，forallhislooks，andthathemusthavenotimetorally。Sohecaughthimsuddenlybythecollar，and，withonegreatpull，hadhimoutoverhisdeskandontheopenfloor。
Hegavehimasharpflingbackwardsandstoodlookingathim。
Therough-and-tumblefightersallclinch，aseverybodyknows；andAbnerBriggs，Junior，wasoneofthatkind。HerememberedhowhehadflooredMasterWeeks，andhehadjust“spunk“enoughleftinhimtotrytorepeathisformersuccessfulexperimentanthenewmaster。Hesprangathim，open-handed，toclutchhim。Sothemasterhadtostrike，——once，butveryhard，andjustintheplacetotell。Nodoubt，theauthoritythatdothhedgeaschoolmasteraddedtotheeffectoftheblow；buttheblowwasitselfaneatone，anddidnotrequiretoberepeated。
“Nowgohome。”saidthemaster，“anddon’tletmeseeyouoryourdoghereagain。”Andheturnedhiscuffsdownoverthegoldsleeve-
buttons。