Elbridgestoppedaminutetothink,afterAbelhadfinished。
“Who’stookcareo’themthingsthatwasonthehoss?“hesaid,gravely。
“Waal,Langden,heseemedtokin’o’thinkI’doughttohave’em,——
’n’theSquire;hedidn’seemtohaveno’bjection;’n’so,——waal,I
calc’lateIsh’lljes’holtonto’emmyself;theya’n’tgoodf’rmuch,butthey’recur’oust’keept’lookat。”
Mr。Veneer’smandidnotappearmuchgratifiedbythisarrangement,especiallyashehadashrewdsuspicionthatsomeoftheornamentsofthebridlewereofpreciousmetal,havingmadeoccasionalexaminationsofthemwiththeedgeofafile。Buthedidnotseeexactlywhattodoaboutit,excepttogetthemfromAbelinthewayofbargain。
“Waal,no,——theya’n’tgoodformuch’xcep’tolookat。’Fy’everridonthatseddleonce,y’wouldn’tryitag’in,veryspry,——not’fy’c’dhaalpy’rsaalf。
Itriedit,——darned’fIsotdaownf’rth’nex’week,——eatallmyvictualsstan’in’。Ish’dliket’hevthemthingswalenoughtohengup’nthestable;’fy’wantt’tradesomeday,fetch’emalongdaown。”
AbelratherexpectedthatElbridgewouldhavelaidclaimtothesaddleandbridleonthestrengthofsomepromiseorotherpresumptivetitle,andthoughthimselfluckytogetoffwithonlyofferingtothinkabaouttradin’。
WhenElbridgereturnedtothehouse,hefoundthefamilyinastateofgreatexcitement。Mr。VennerhadtoldOldSophy,andshehadinformedtheotherservants。Everybodyknewwhathadhappened,exceptingElsie。Herfatherhadchargedthemalltosaynothingaboutittoher;hewouldtellher,whenshecamedown。
Heheardherstepatlast,——alight,glidingstep,——solightthathercomingwasoftenunheard,exceptbythosewhoperceivedthefaintrustlethatwentwithit。Shewaspalerthancommonthismorning,asshecameintoherfather’sstudy。
Afterafewwordsofsalutation,hesaidquietly,“Elsie,mydear,yourcousinRichardhasleftus。”
Shegrewstillpaler,assheasked,“Ishedead?“
DudleyVennerstartedtoseetheexpressionwithwhichElsieputthisquestion。
“Heisliving,——butdeadtousfromthisdayforward。”saidherfather。
Heproceededtotellher,inageneralway,thestoryhehadjustheardfromAbel。Therecouldbenodoubtingit;——herememberedhimastheDoctor’sman;andasAbelhadseenallwithhisowneyes,asDick’schamber,whenunlockedwithasparekey,wasfoundempty,andhisbedhadnotbeensleptin,heacceptedthewholeaccountastrue。
WhenhetoldofDick’sattemptontheyoungschoolmaster,“YouknowMr。Langdonverywell,Elsie,——aperfectlyinoffensiveyoungman,asIunderstand。”Elsieturnedherfaceawayandslidalongbythewalltothewindowwhichlookedoutohthelittlegrass-plotwiththewhitestonestandinginit。Herfathercouldnotseeherface,butheknewbyhermovementsthatherdangerousmoodwasonher。Whensheheardthesequelofthestory,thediscomfitureandcaptureofDick,sheturnedroundforaninstant,withalookofcontemptandofsomethingliketriumphuponherface。Herfathersawthathercousinhadbecomeodioustoher:Heknewwell,byeverychangeofhercountenance,byhermovements,byeveryvaryingcurveofhergracefulfigure,thetransitionsfrontpassiontorepose,fromfierceexcitementtothedulllanguorwhichoftensucceededherthreateningparoxysms。
Sheremainedlookingoutatthewindow。Agroupofwhitefan-tailedpigeonshadlightedonthegreenplotbeforeitandclusteredaboutoneoftheircompanionswholayonhisback,flutteringinastrangeway,withoutspreadwingsandtwitchingfeet。Elsieutteredafaintcry;thesewereherspecialfavoritesandoftenfedfromherhand。
Shethrewopenthelongwindow,sprangout,caughtupthewhitefantail,andheldittoherbosom。Thebirdstretchedhimselfout,andthenlaystill,withopeneyes,lifeless。Shelookedathimamoment,and,slidinginthroughtheopenwindowandthroughthestudy,soughtherownapartment,whereshelockedherselfin,andbegantosobandmoanlikethosethatweep。Butthegracioussolaceoftearsseemedtobedeniedher,andhergrief,likeheranger,wasadullache,longing,likethat,tofinishitselfwithafierceparoxysm,butwantingitsnaturaloutlet。
Thisseeminglytriflingincidentofthedeathofherfavoriteappearedtochangeallthecurrentofherthought。Whetheritwerethesightofthedyingbird,orthethoughtthatherownagencymighthavebeepconcernedinit,orsomedeepergrief,whichtookthisoccasiontodeclareitself,——somedarkremorseorhopelesslonging,——
whateveritmightbe,therewasanunwontedtumultinhersoul。Towhomshouldshegoinhervaguemisery?OnlytoHimwhoknowsallHiscreatures’sorrows,andlistenstothefaintesthumancry。Sheknelt,asshehadbeentaughttokneelfromherchildhood,andtriedtopray。Butherthoughtsrefusedtoflowinthelanguageofsupplication。Shecouldnotpleadforherselfasotherwomenpleadintheirhoursofanguish。Sheroselikeonewhoshouldstooptodrink,andfinddustintheplaceofwater。Partlyfromrestlessness,partlyfromanattractionshehardlyavowedtoherself,shefollowedherusualhabitandstrolledlistlesslyalongtotheschool。
OfcourseeverybodyattheInstitutewasfulloftheterribleadventureoftheprecedingevening。Mr。Bernardfeltpoorlyenough;
buthehadmadeitapointtoshowhimselfthenextmorning,asifnothinghadhappened。HelenDarleyknewnothingofitalluntilshehardrisen,whenthegossipymatronoftheestablishmentmadeheracquaintedwithallitsdetails,embellishedwithsuchadditionalornamentalappendagesasithadcaughtupintransmissionfromliptolip。Shedidnotlovetobetrayhersensibilities,butshewaspaleandtremulousandverynearlytearfulwhenMr。Bernardenteredthesitting-room,showingonhisfeaturestracesoftheviolentshockhehadreceivedandtheheavyslumberfromwhichhehadrisenwiththrobbingbrows。Whatthepoorgirl’simpulsewas,onseeinghim,weneednotinquiretoocuriously。Ifhehadbeenherownbrother,shewouldhavekissedhimandcriedonhisneck;butsomethingheldherback。Thereisnogalvanisminkiss-your-brother;itiscopperagainstcopper:butalienbloodsdevelopstrangecurrents,whentheyflowclosetoeachother,withonlythefilmsthatcoverlipandcheekbetweenthem。Mr。Bernard,assomeofusmayremember,violatedtheproprietiesandlaidhimselfopentoreproachbyhisenterprisewithabouncingvillage-girl,towhoserosycheekanhonestsmackwasnotprobablyanabsolutenovelty。Hemadeitallupbyhisdiscretionandgoodbehaviornow。HesawbyHelen’smoisteyeandtremblinglipthatherwoman’sheartwasoffitsguard,andheknew,bytheinfallibleinstinctofsex,thatheshouldbeforgiven,ifhethankedherforhersisterlysympathiesinthemostnaturalway,——expressive,andatthesametimeeconomicalofbreathandutterance。Hewouldnotgiveafalselooktotheirfriendshipbyanysuchdemonstration。Helenwasalittleolderthanhimself,buttheaureoleofyoungwomanhoodhadnotyetbeguntofadefromaroundher。
Shewassurroundedbythatenchantedatmosphereintowhichthegirlwalkswithdreamyeyes,andoutofwhichthewomanpasseswithastorywrittenonherforehead。Somepeoplethinkverylittleoftheserefinements;theyhavenotstudiedmagnetismandthelawofthesquareofthedistance。
SoMr。BernardthankedHelenforherinterestwithouttheaidofthetwenty-seventhletterofthealphabet,——thelovelabial,——thelimpingconsonantwhichittakestwotospeakplain。Indeed,hescarcelylethersayaword,atfirst;forhesawthatitwashardforhertoconcealheremotion。Nowonder;hehadcomewithinahair’s-breadthoflosinghislife,andhehadbeenaverykindfriendandaverydearcompaniontoher。
Thereweresomecuriousspiritualexperiencesconnectedwithhislastevening’sadventurewhichwereworkingverystronglyinhismind。ItwasborneinuponhimirresistiblythathehadbeendeadsincehehadseenHelen,——asdeadasthesonoftheWidowofNainbeforethebierwastouchedandhesatupandbegantospeak。Therewasanintervalbetweentwoconsciousmomentswhichappearedtohimlikeatemporaryannihilation,andthethoughtsitsuggestedwereworryinghimwithstrangeperplexities。
Herememberedseeingthedarkfigureonhorsebackriseinthesaddleandsomethingleapfromitshand。Herememberedthethrillhefeltasthecoilsettledonhisshoulders,andthesuddenimpulsewhichledhimtofireashedid。Withthereportofthepistolallbecameblank,untilhefoundhimselfinastrange,bewilderedstate,gropingaboutfortheweapon,whichhehadavagueconsciousnessofhavingdropped。But,accordingtoAbel’saccount,theremusthavebeenanintervalofsomeminutesbetweentheserecollections,andhecouldnothelpasking,Wherewasthemind,thesoul,thethinkingprinciple,allthistime?
Amanisstunnedbyablowwithastickonthehead。Hebecomesunconscious。Anothermangetsaharderblowontheheadfromabiggerstick,anditkillshim。Doeshebecomeunconscious,too?Ifso,whendoeshecometohisconsciousness?Themanwhohashadaslightormoderateblowcomestohimselfwhentheimmediateshockpassesoffandtheorgansbegintoworkagain,orwhenabitoftheskullispriedup,ifthathappenstobebroken。Supposetheblowishardenoughtospoilthebrainandstoptheplayoftheorgans,whathappensthem?
ABritishcaptainwasstruckbyacannon-ballonthehead,justashewasgivinganorder,attheBattleoftheNile。FifteenmonthsafterwardshewastrephinedatGreenwichHospital,havingbeeninsensibleallthattime。Immediatelyaftertheoperationhisconsciousnessreturned,andheatoncebegancarryingouttheorderhewasgivingwhentheshotstruckhim。Supposehehadneverbeentrephined,whenwouldhisconsciousnesshavereturned?Whenhisbreathceasedandhisheartstoppedbeating?
WhenMr。BernardsaidtoHelen,“IhavebeendeadsinceIsawyou。”
itstartledhernotalittle;forhisexpressionwasthatofperfectgoodfaith,andshefearedthathismindwasdisordered。Whenheexplained,notashasbeendonejustnow,atlength,butinahurried,imperfectway,themeaningofhisstrangeassertion,andthefearfulSadduceeismswhichithadsuggestedtohismind,shelookedtroubledatfirst,andthenthoughtful。Shedidnotfeelabletoanswerallthedifficultiesheraised,butshemetthemwiththatfaithwhichisthestrengthaswellastheweaknessofwomen,——whichmakesthemweakinthehandsofman,butstronginthepresenceoftheUnseen。
“Itisastrangeexperience。”shesaid;“butIoncehadsomethinglikeit。Ifainted,andlostsomefiveortenminutesoutofmylife,asmuchasifIhadbeendead。ButwhenIcametomyself,I
wasthesamepersoneveryway,inmyrecollectionsandcharacter。SoIsupposethatlossofconsciousnessisnotdeath。AndifIwasbornoutofunconsciousnessintoinfancywithmanyfamily-traitsofmindandbody,Icanbelieve,frommyownreason,evenwithouthelpfromRevelation,thatIshallbebornagainoutoftheunconsciousnessofdeathwithmyindividualtraitsofmindandbody。Ifdeathis,asitshouldseemtobe,alossofconsciousness,thatdoesnotshakemyfaith;forIhavebeenputintoabodyoncealreadytofitmeforlivinghere,andIhopetobeinsomewayfittedafterthislifetoenjoyabetterone。ButitisalltrustinGodandinhisWord。
Theseareenoughforme;Ihopetheyareforyou。”
Helenwasaminister’sdaughter,andfamiliarfromherchildhoodwiththisclassofquestions,especiallywithallthedoubtsandperplexitieswhicharesuretoassaileverythinkingchildbredinanyinorganicornotthoroughlyvitalizedfaith,——asistoooftenthecasewiththechildrenofprofessionaltheologians。ThekindofdisciplinetheyaresubjectedtoislikethatoftheFlat-HeadIndianpappooses。Atfiveortenorfifteenyearsoldtheyputtheirhandsuptotheirforeheadsandask,Whataretheystrappingdownmybrainsinthiswayfor?SotheytearoffthesacredbandagesofthegreatFlat-Headtribe,andtherefollowsamightyrushofbloodtothelong-compressedregion。Thisaccounts,inthemostlucidmanner,forthosesuddenfreakswithwhichcertainchildrenofthisclassastonishtheirworthyparentsattheperiod,oflifewhentheyaregrowingfast,and,thefrontalpressurebeginningtobefeltassomethingintolerable,theytearofftheholycompresses。
Thehourforschoolcame,andtheywenttothegreathallforstudy。
ItwouldnothaveoccurredtoMr。SilasPeckhamtoaskhisassistantwhetherhefeltwellenoughtoattendtohisduties;andMr。Bernardchosetobeathispost。Alittleheadacheandconfusionwereallthatremainedofhissymptoms。
Later,inthecourseoftheforenoon,ElsieVennercameandtookherplace。Thegirlsallstaredather——naturallyenough;foritwashardlytohavebeenexpectedthatshewouldshowherself,aftersuchaneventinthehouseholdtowhichshebelonged。Herexpressionwassomewhatpeculiar,and,ofcourse,wasattributedtotheshockherfeelingshadundergoneonhearingofthecrimeattemptedbyhercousinanddailycompanion。Whenshewaslookingonherbook,oronanyindifferentobject,hercountenancebetrayedsomeinwarddisturbance,whichknittedherdarkbrows,andseemedtothrowadeepershadowoverherfeatures。But,fromtimetotime,shewouldlifthereyestowardMr。Bernard,andletthemrestuponhim,withoutathought,seemingly,thatsheherselfwasthesubjectofobservationorremark。Thentheyseemedtolosetheircoldglitter,andsoftenintoastrange,dreamytenderness。Thedeepinstinctsofwomanhoodwerestrivingtogropetheirwaytothesurfaceofherbeingthroughallthealieninfluenceswhichoverlaidthem。Shecouldbesecretandcunninginworkingoutanyofherdangerousimpulses,butshedidnotknowhowtomasktheunwontedfeelingwhichfixedhereyesandherthoughtsupontheonlypersonwhohadeverreachedthespringofherhiddensympathies。
ThegirlsalllookedatElsie,whenevertheycouldstealaglanceunperceived,andmanyofthemwerestruckwiththissingularexpressionherfeatureswore。Theyhadlongwhispereditaroundamongeachotherthatshehadalikingforthemaster;butthereweretoomanyofthemofwhomsomethinglikethiscouldbesaid,tomakeitveryremarkable。Now,however,whensomanylittleheartswereflutteringatthethoughtoftheperilthroughwhichthehandsomeyoungmasterhadsorecentlypassed,theyweremorealivethanevertothesupposedrelationbetweenhimandthedarkschool-girl。Somehadsupposedtherewasamutualattachmentbetweenthem;therewasastorythattheyweresecretlybetrothed,inaccordancewiththerumorwhichhadbeencurrentinthevillage。Atanyrate,someconflictwasgoingoninthatstill,remote,cloudedsoul,andallthegirlswholookeduponherfacewereimpressedandawedastheyhadneverbeenbeforebytheshadowsthatpassedoverit。
OneofthesegirlswasmorestronglyarrestedbyElsie’slookthantheothers。Thiswasadelicate,pallidcreature,withahighforehead,andwide-openpupils,whichlookedasiftheycouldtakeinalltheshapesthatflitinwhat,tocommoneyes,isdarkness,——agirlsaidtobeclairvoyantundercertaininfluences。Intherecess,asitwascalled,orintervalofsuspendedstudiesinthemiddleoftheforenoon,thisgirlcarriedherautograph-book,——forshehadoneofthoseindispensableappendagesoftheboarding-schoolmissofeverydegree,——andaskedElsietowritehernameinit。Shehadanirresistiblefeeling,that,soonerorlater,andperhapsverysoon,therewouldattachanunusualinteresttothisautograph。Elsietookthepenandwrote,inhersharpItalianhand,ElsieVenner,Infelix。
Itwasaremembrance,doubtless,oftheforlornqueenofthe“AEneid“;butitscomingtoherthoughtinthiswayconfirmedthesensitiveschool-girlinherfearsforElsie,andsheletfallatearuponthepagebeforesheclosedit。
Ofcourse,thekeenandpractisedobservationofHelenDarleycouldnotfailtonoticethechangeofElsie’smannerandexpression。Shehadlongseenthatshewasattractedtotheyoungmaster,andhadthought,astheoldDoctordid,thatanyimpressionwhichacteduponheraffectionsmightbethemeansofawakeninganewlifeinhersingularlyisolatednature。Now,however,theconcentrationofthepoorgirl’sthoughtsupontheoneobjectwhichhadhadpowertoreachherdeepersensibilitieswassopainfullyrevealedinherfeatures,thatHelenbegantofearoncemore,lestMr。Bernard,inescapingthetreacherousviolenceofanassassin,hadbeenlefttotheequallydangerousconsequencesofaviolent,engrossingpassioninthebreastofayoungcreaturewhoseloveitwouldberuintoadmitandmightbedeadlytoreject。Sheknewherownhearttoowelltofearthatanyjealousymightminglewithhernewapprehensions。ItwasunderstoodbetweenBernardandHelenthattheyweretoogoodfriendstotamperwiththesilencesandedgingproximitiesoflovemaking。Sheknew,too,thesimplyhuman,notmasculine,interestwhichMr。BernardtookinElsie;hehadbeenfrankwithHelen,andmorethansatisfiedherthatwithallthepityandsympathywhichoverflowedhissoul,whenhethoughtofthestrickengirl,thereminglednotonedropofsuchloveasayouthmayfeelforamaiden。
ItmayhelpthereadertogainsomeunderstandingoftheanomalousnatureofElsieVeneer,ifwelookwithHelenintoMr。Bernard’sopinionsandfeelingswithreferencetoher,astheyhadshapedthemselvesinhisconsciousnessattheperiodofwhichwearespeaking。
Atfirsthehadbeenimpressedbyherwildbeauty,andthecontrastofallherlooksandwayswiththoseofthegirlsaroundher。
Presentlyasenseofsomeill-definedpersonalelement,whichhalf-
attractedandhalf-repelledthosewholookeduponher,andespeciallythoseonwhomshelooked,begantomakeitselfobvioustohim,ashesoonfounditwaspainfullysensibletohismoresusceptiblecompanion,thelady-teacher。Itwasnotmerelyinthecoldlightofherdiamondeyes,butinallhermovements,inhergracefulposturesasshesat,inhercostume,and,hesometimesthought,eveninherspeech,thatthisobscureandexceptionalcharacterbetrayeditself。
WhenHelenhadsaid,that,iftheywerelivingintimeswhenhumanbeingsweresubjecttopossession,sheshouldhavethoughttherewassomethingnothumanaboutElsie,itstruckanunsuspectedveinofthoughtinhisownmind,whichhehatedtoputinwords,butwhichwascontinuallytryingtoarticulateitselfamongthedumbthoughtswhichlieundertheperpetualstreamofmentalwhispers。
Mr。Bernard’sprofessionaltraininghadmadehimslowtoacceptmarvellousstoriesandmanyformsofsuperstition。Yet,asamanofscience,hewellknewthatjustonthevergeofthedemonstrablefactsofphysicsandphysiologythereisanebulousborder-landwhichwhatiscalled“commonsense“perhapsdoeswiselynottoenter,butwhichuncommonsense,orthefineapprehensionofprivilegedintelligences,maycautiouslyexplore,andinsodoingfinditselfbehindthesceneswhichmakeupforthegazingworldtheshowwhichiscalledNature。
Itwaswithsomethingofthisfinerperception,perhapswithsomedegreeofimaginativeexaltation,thathesethimselftosolvingtheproblemofElsie’sinfluencetoattractandrepelthosearoundher。
Hisletteralreadysubmittedtothereaderhintsinwhatdirectionhisthoughtsweredisposedtoturn。Herewasamagnificentorganization,superbinvigorouswomanhood,withabeautysuchasnevercomesbutaftergenerationsofculture;yetthroughallthisrichnaturethereransomealiencurrentofinfluence,sinuousanddark,aswhenacloudedstreakseamsthewhitemarbleofaperfectstatue。
Itwouldbeneedlesstorepeattheparticularsuggestionswhichhadcomeintohismind,astheymustprobablyhavecomeintothatofthereaderwhohasnotedthesingularitiesofElsie’stastesandpersonaltraits。Theimageswhichcertainpoetshaddreamedofseemedtohavebecomearealitybeforehisowneyes。ThencamethatunexplainedadventureofTheMountain,——almostlikeadreaminrecollection,yetassuredlyrealinsomeofitsmainincidents,——withallthatitrevealedorhinted。Thisgirldidnotfeartovisitthedreadedregion,wheredangerlurkedineverynookandbeneatheverytuftofleaves。Didthetenantsofthefatalledgerecognizesomemysteriousaffinitywhichmadethemtributarytothecoldglitterofherdiamondeyes,?Wasshefromherbirthoneofthosefrightfulchildren,suchashehadreadabout,andtheProfessorhadtoldhimof,whoformunnaturalfriendshipswithcold,writhingophidians?Therewasnoneedofsounwelcomeathoughtasthis;shehaddrawnhimawayfromthedarkopeningintherockatthemomentwhenheseemedtobethreatenedbyoneofitsmalignantdenizens;thatwasallhecouldbesureof;thecounter-fascinationmighthavebeenadream,afancy,acoincidence。Allwonderfulthingssoongrowdoubtfulinourownminds,asdoevencommonevents,ifgreatinterestsprovesuddenlytoattachtotheirtruthorfalsehood——
I,whoamtellingoftheseoccurrences,sawafriendinthegreatcity,onthemorningofamostmemorabledisaster,hoursafterthetimewhenthetrainwhichcarrieditsvictimstotheirdoomhadleft。
Italkedwithhim,andwasforsomeminutes,atleast,inhiscompany。WhenIreachedhome,Ifoundthatthestoryhadgonebeforethathewasamongthelost,andIalonecouldcontradictittohisweepingfriendsandrelatives。Ididcontradictit;but,alas!I
begansoontodoubtmyself,penetratedbythecontagionoftheirsolicitude;myrecollectionbegantoquestionitself;theorderofeventsbecamedislocated;andwhenIheardthathehadreachedhomeinsafety,thereliefwasalmostasgreattomeastothosewhohadexpectedtoseetheirownbrother’sfacenomore。
Mr。Bernardwasdisposed,then,nottoacceptthethoughtofanyodiouspersonalrelationshipofthekindwhichhadsuggesteditselftohimwhenhewrotetheletterreferredto。Thatthegirlhadsomethingoftheferalnature,herwild,lawlessramblesinforbiddenandblastedregionsofTheMountainatallhours,herfamiliaritywiththelonelyhauntswhereanyotherhumanfootwassorarelyseen,provedclearlyenough。Butthemorehethoughtofallherstrangeinstinctsandmodesofbeing,themorehebecameconvincedthatwhateveralienimpulseswayedherwillandmodulatedordivertedordisplacedheraffectionscamefromsomeimpressionthatreachedfarbackintothepast,beforethedayswhenthefaithfulOldSophyhadrockedherinthecradle。Hebelievedthatshehadbroughtherrulingtendency,whateveritwas,intotheworldwithher。
Whentheschoolwasoverandthegirlshadallgone,HelenlingeredintheschoolroomtospeakwithMr。Bernard。
“DidyouremarkElsie’swaysthisforenoon?“shesaid。
“No,notparticularly;IhavenotnoticedanythingassharplyasI
commonlydo;myheadhasbeenalittlequeer,andIhavebeenthinkingoverwhatweweretalkingabout,andhownearIcametosolvingthegreatproblemwhicheverydaymakescleartosuchmultitudesofpeople。WhataboutElsie?“
“Bernard,herlikingforyouisgrowingintoapassion。Ihavestudiedgirlsforalongwhile,andIknowthedifferencebetweentheirpassingfanciesandtheirrealemotions。Itoldyou,youremember,thatRosawouldhavetoleaveus;webarelymissedascene,Ithink,ifnotawholetragedy,byhergoingattherightmoment。
ButElsieisinfinitelymoredangeroustoherselfandothers。
Women’sloveisfierceenough,ifitoncegetsthemasteryofthem,always;butthispoorgirldoesnotknowwhattodowithapassion。”
Mr。BernardhadnevertoldHelenthestoryoftheflowerinhisVirgil,orthatotheradventure——whichhewouldhavefeltawkwardlytoreferto;butithadbeenperfectlyunderstoodbetweenthemthatElsieshowedinherownsingularwayawell-markedpartialityfortheyoungmaster。
“Whydon’ttheytakeherawayfromtheschool,ifsheisinsuchastrange,excitablestate?“saidMr。Bernard。
“Ibelievetheyareafraidofher。”Helenanswered。“Itisjustoneofthosecasesthataretenthousandthousandtimesworsethaninsanity。Idon’tthinkfromwhatIhear,thatherfatherhasevergivenuphopingthatshewilloutgrowherpeculiarities。Oh,thesepeculiarchildrenforwhomparentsgoonhopingeverymorninganddespairingeverynight!IfIcouldtellyouhalfthatmothershavetoldme,youwouldfeelthattheworstofalldiseasesofthemoralsenseandthewillarethosewhichalltheBedlamsturnawayfromtheirdoorsasnotbeingcasesofinsanity!“
“Doyouthinkherfatherhastreatedherjudiciously?“saidMr。
Bernard。
“Ithink。”saidHelen,withalittlehesitation,whichMr。Bernarddidnothappentonotice,——“Ithinkhehasbeenverykindandindulgent,andIdonotknowthathecouldhavetreatedherotherwisewithabetterchanceofsuccess。”
“Hemustofcoursebefondofher。”Mr。Bernardsaid;“thereisnothingelseintheworldforhimtolove。”
Helendroppedabooksheheldinherhand,and,stoopingtopickitup,thebloodrushedintohercheeks。
“Itisgettinglate。”shesaid;“youmustnotstayanylongerinthiscloseschoolroom。Pray,goandgetalittlefreshairbeforedinner-
time。”
CHAPTERXXVII。
ASOULINDISTRESS。
Theeventstoldinthelasttwochaptershadtakenplacetowardthecloseoftheweek。OnSaturdayeveningtheReverendChauncyFairweatherreceivedanotewhichwasleftathisdoorbyanunknownpersonwhodepartedwithoutsayingaword。Itswordswerethese:
“OnewhoisindistressofmindrequeststheprayersofthiscongregationthatGodwouldbepleasedtolookinmercyuponthesoulthathehasafflicted。”
Therewasnothingtoshowfromwhomthenotecame,orthesexorageorspecialsourceofspiritualdiscomfortoranxietyofthewriter。
Thehandwritingwasdelicateandmightwellbeawoman’s。Theclergymanwasnotawareofanyparticularafflictionamonghisparishionerswhichwaslikelytobemadethesubjectofarequestofthiskind。SurelyneitheroftheVennerswouldadvertisetheattemptedcrimeoftheirrelativeinthisway。Butwhoelsewasthere?Themorehethoughtaboutit,themoreitpuzzledhim,andashedidnotliketoprayinthedark,withoutknowingforwhomhewaspraying,hecouldthinkofnothingbetterthantostepintooldDoctorKittredge’sandseewhathehadtosayaboutit。
TheoldDoctorwassittingaloneinhisstudywhentheReverendMr。
Fairweatherwasusheredin。Hereceivedhisvisitorverypleasantly,expecting,asamatterofcourse,thathewouldbeginwithsomenewgrievance,dyspeptic,neuralgic,bronchitic,orother。Theminister,however,beganwithquestioningtheoldDoctoraboutthesequeloftheothernight’sadventure;forhewasalreadygettingalittleJesuitical,andkeptbacktheobjectofhisvisituntilitshouldcomeupasifaccidentallyinthecourseofconversation。
“Itwasaprettyboldthingtogooffalonewiththatreprobate,asyoudid。”saidtheminister。
“Idon’tknowwhattherewasboldaboutit。”theDoctoranswered。
“Allhewantedwastogetaway。Hewasnotquiteareprobate,yousee;hedidn’tlikethethoughtofdisgracinghisfamilyorfacinghisuncle。Ithinkhewasashamedtoseehiscousin,too,afterwhathehaddone。”
“Didhetalkwithyouontheway?“
“Notmuch。Forhalfanhourorsohedidn’tspeakaword。ThenheaskedwhereIwasdrivinghim。Itoldhim,andheseemedtobesurprisedintoasortofgratefulfeeling。Badenough,nodoubt,butmightbeworse。Hassomehumanityleftinhimyet。Lethimgo。Godcanjudgehim,——Ican’t。”
“Youaretoocharitable,Doctor。”theministersaid。“Icondemnhimjustasifhehadcarriedouthisproject,which,theysay,wastomakeitappearasiftheschoolmasterhadcommittedsuicide。That’swhatpeoplethinktheropefoundbyhimwasfor。Hehassavedhisneck,——buthissoulisalostone,Iamafraid,beyondquestion。”
“Ican’tjudgemen’ssouls。”theDoctorsaid。“Icanjudgetheiracts,andholdthemresponsibleforthose,——butIdon’tknowmuchabouttheirsouls。IfyouorIhadfoundoursoulinahalf-breedbody;andbeenturnedloosetorunamongtheIndians,wemighthavebeenplayingjustsuchtricksasthisfellowhasbeentrying。WhatifyouorIhadinheritedallthetendenciesthatwerebornwithhiscousinElsie?“
“Oh,thatremindsme。”——theministersaid,inasuddenway,——“Ihavereceivedanote,whichIamrequestedtoreadfromthepulpittomorrow。Iwishyouwouldjusthavethekindnesstolookatitandseewhereyouthinkitcamefrom。”
TheDoctorexamineditcarefully。Itwasawoman’sorgirl’snote,hethought。Mightcomefromoneoftheschool-girlswhowasanxiousaboutherspiritualcondition。Handwritingwasdisguised;lookedalittlelikeElsieVeneer’s,butnotcharacteristicenoughtomakeitcertain。Itwouldbeanewthing,ifshehadaskedpublicprayersforherself,andaveryfavorableindicationofachangeinhersingularmoralnature。ItwasjustpossibleElsiemighthavesentthatnote。Nobodycouldforetellheractions。Itwouldbewelltoseethegirlandfindoutwhetheranyunusualimpressionhadbeenproducedonhermindbytherecentoccurrenceorbyanyothercause。
TheReverendMr。Fairweatherfoldedthenoteandputitintohispocket。
“Ihavebeenagooddealexercisedinmindlately,myself。”hesaid。
TheoldDoctorlookedathimthroughhisspectacles,andsaid,inhisusualprofessionaltone,“Putoutyourtongue。”
Theministerobeyedhiminthatfeeblewaycommonwithpersonsofweakcharacter,——forpeopledifferasmuchintheirmodeofperformingthistriflingactasGideon’ssoldiersintheirwayofdrinkingatthebrook。TheDoctortookhishandandplacedafingermechanicallyonhiswrist。
“Itismorespiritual,Ithink,thanbodily。”saidtheReverendMr。
Fairweather。
“Isyourappetiteasgoodasusual?“theDoctorasked。
“Prettygood。”theministeranswered;“butmysleep,mysleep,Doctor,——Iamgreatlytroubledatnightwithlyingawakeandthinkingofmyfuture,Iamnotateaseinmind。”
Helookedroundatallthedoors,tobesuretheywereshut,andmovedhischairupclosetotheDoctor’s。
“YoudonotknowthementaltrialsIhavebeengoingthroughforthelastfewmonths。”
“IthinkIdo。”theoldDoctorsaid。“Youwanttogetoutofthenewchurchintotheoldone,don’tyou?“
Theministerblusheddeeply;hethoughthehadbeengoingoninaveryquietway,andthatnobodysuspectedhissecret。AstheoldDoctorwashiscounsellorinsickness,andalmosteverybody’sconfidantintrouble,hehadintendedtoimpartcautiouslytohimsomehintsofthechangeofsentimentsthroughwhichhehadbeenpassing。Hewastoolatewithhisinformation,itappeared,andtherewasnothingtobedonebuttothrowhimselfontheDoctor’sgoodsenseandkindness,whicheverybodyknew,andgetwhathintshecouldfromhimastothepracticalcourseheshouldpursue。Hebegan,afteranawkwardpause,“YouwouldnothavemestayinacommunionwhichIfeeltobealientothetruechurch,wouldyou?“
“Haveyoustay,myfriend?“saidtheDoctor,withapleasant,friendlylook,——“haveyoustay?Notamonth,noraweek,noraday,ifIcouldhelpit。Youhavegotintothewrongpulpit,andIhaveknownitfromthefirst。Thesooneryougowhereyoubelong,thebetter。AndI’mverygladyoudon’tmeantostophalf-way。Don’tyouknowyou’vealwayscometomewhenyou’vebeendyspepticorsickanyhow,andwantedtoputyourselfwhollyintomyhands,sothatI
mightorderyoulikeachildjustwhattodoandwhattotake?That’sexactlywhatyouwantinreligion。Idon’tblameyouforit。Youneverlikedtotaketheresponsibilityofyourownbody;Idon’tseewhyyoushouldwanttohavethechargeofyourownsoul。ButI’mgladyou’regoingtotheOldMotherofall。Youwouldn’thavebeencontentedshortofthat。”
TheReverendMr。Fairweatherbreathedwithmorefreedom。TheDoctorsawintohissoulthroughthoseawfulspectaclesofhis,——intoitandbeyondit,asoneseesthroughathinfog。Butitwaswitharealhumankindness,afterall。Hefeltlikeachildbeforeastrongman;
butthestrongmanlookedonhimwithafather’sindulgence。Manyandmanyatime,whenhehadcomedespondingandbemoaninghimselfonaccountofsomecontemptiblebodilyinfirmity,theoldDoctorhadlookedathimthroughhisspectacles,listenedpatientlywhilehetoldhisailments,andthen,inhislargeparentalway,givenhimafewwordsofwholesomeadvice,andcheeredhimupsothathewentoffwithalightheart,thinkingthattheheavenhewassomuchafraidofwasnotsoverynear,afterall。Itwasthesamethingnow。Hefelt,asfeeblenaturesalwaysdointhepresenceofstrongones,overmastered,circumscribed,shutin,humbled;butyetitseemedasiftheoldDoctordidnotdespisehimanymoreforwhatheconsideredweaknessofmindthanheusedtodespisehimwhenhecomplainedofhisnervesorhisdigestion。
Menwhoseeintotheirneighborsareveryapttobecontemptuous;butmenwhoseethroughthemfindsomethinglyingbehindeveryhumansoulwhichitisnotforthemtositinjudgmenton,ortoattempttosneeroutoftheorderofGod’smanifolduniverse。
LittleastheDoctorhadsaidoutofwhichcomfortcouldbeextracted,hisgenialmannerhadsomethinggratefulinit。Afilmofgratitudecameoverthepoorman’scloudy,uncertaineye,andalookoftremulousreliefandsatisfactionplayedabouthisweakmouth。Hewasgravitatingtothemajority,wherehehopedtofind“rest“;buthewasdreadfullysensitivetotheopinionsoftheminorityhewasonthepointofleaving。
TheoldDoctorsawplainlyenoughwhatwasgoingoninhismind。
“Isha’n’tquarrelwithyou。”hesaid,——“youknowthatverywell;butyoumustn’tquarrelwithme,ifItalkhonestlywithyou;itisn’teverybodythatwilltakethetrouble。Youflatteryourselfthatyouwillmakeagoodmanyenemiesbyleavingyouroldcommunion。Notsomanyasyouthink。Thisisthewaythecommonsortofpeoplewilltalk:——’Youhavegotyourtickettothefeastoflife,asmuchasanyothermanthateverlived。Protestantismsays,——“Helpyourself;
here’sacleanplate,andaknifeandforkofyourown,andplentyoffreshdishestochoosefrom。”TheOldMothersays,——“Givemeyourticket,mydear,andI’llfeedyouwithmygoldspoonoffthesebeautifuloldwoodentrenchers。Suchnicebitsasthosegoodoldgentlemenhaveleftforyou!“Thereisnoquarrellingwithamanwhoprefersbrokenvictuals。’That’swhattheroughersortwillsay;andthen,whereonescolds,tenwilllaugh。But,mindyou,Idon’teitherscoldorlaugh。Idon’tfeelsurethatyoucouldverywellhavehelpeddoingwhatyouwillsoondo。Youknowyouwerenevereasywithoutsomemedicinetotakewhenyoufeltillinbody。I’mafraidI’vegivenyoutrashystuffsometimes,justtokeepyouquiet。
Now,letmetellyou,thereisjustthesamedifferenceinspiritualpatientsthatthereisinbodilyones。Onesetbelievesinwholesomewaysofliving,andanothermusthaveagreatlistofspecificsforallthesoul’scomplaints。Youbelongwiththelast,andgotaccidentallyshuffledinwiththeothers。”
Theministersmiledfaintly,butdidnotreply。Ofcourse,heconsideredthatwayoftalkingastheresultoftheDoctor’sprofessionaltraining。Itwouldnothavebeenworthwhiletotakeoffenceathisplainspeech,ifhehadbeensodisposed;forhemightwishtoconsulthimthenextdayasto“whatheshouldtake“forhisdyspepsiaorhisneuralgia。
HelefttheDoctorwithahollowfeelingatthebottomofhissoul,asifagoodpieceofhismanhoodhadbeenscoopedoutofhim。Hishollowachingdidnotexplainitselfinwords,butitgrumbledandworrieddownamongtheunshapedthoughtswhichliebeneaththem。Heknewthathehadbeentryingtoreasonhimselfoutofhisbirthrightofreason。Heknewthattheinspirationwhichgavehimunderstandingwaslosingitsthroneinhisintelligence,andthealmightyMajority-
Votewasproclaimingitselfinitsstead。Heknewthatthegreatprimaltruths,whicheachsuccessiverevelationonlyconfirmed,werefastbecominghiddenbeneaththemechanicalformsofthought,which,aswithallnewconverts,engrossedsolargeashareofhisattention。The“peace。”the“rest。”whichhehadpurchasedweredearlyboughttoonewhohadbeentrainedtothearmsofthought,andwhosenobleprivilegeitmighthavebeentoliveinperpetualwarfarefortheadvancingtruthwhichthenextgenerationwillclaimasthelegacyofthepresent。
TheReverendMr。Fairweatherwasgettingcarelessabouthissermons。
Hemustwaitthefittingmomenttodeclarehimself;andinthemeantimehewaspreachingtoheretics。Itdidnotmattermuchwhathepreached,undersuchcircumstances。Hepulledouttwooldyellowsermonsfromaheapofsuch,andbeganlookingoverthatfortheforenoon。Naturallyenough,hefellasleepoverit,and,sleeping,hebegantodream。
Hedreamedthathewasunderthehigharchesofanoldcathedral,amidstathrongofworshippers。Thelightstreamedinthroughvastwindows,darkwiththepurplerobesofroyalsaints,orblazingwithyellowgloriesaroundtheheadsofearthlymartyrsandheavenlymessengers。Thebillowsofthegreatorganroaredamongtheclusteredcolumns,astheseabreaksamidstthebasalticpillarswhichcrowdthestormycavernoftheHebrides。Thevoiceofthealternatechoirsofsingingboysswungbackandforward,asthesilvercenserswunginthehandsofthewhiterobedchildren。Thesweetcloudofincenseroseinsoft,fleecymists,fullofpenetratingsuggestionsoftheEastanditsperfumedaltars。Thekneesoftwentygenerationshadwornthepavement;theirfeethadhollowedthesteps;theirshouldershadsmoothedthecolumns。Deadbishopsandabbotslayunderthemarbleofthefloorintheircrumbledvestments;deadwarriors,inrustedarmor,werestretchedbeneaththeirsculpturedeffigies。Andallatoncealltheburiedmultitudeswhohadeverworshippedtherecamethronginginthroughtheaisles。Theychokedeveryspace,theyswarmedintoallthechapels,theyhunginclustersovertheparapetsofthegalleries,theyclungtotheimagesineveryniche,andstillthevastthrongkeptflowingandflowingin,untilthelivingwerelostintherushofthereturningdeadwhohadreclaimedtheirown。Then,ashisdreambecamemorefantastic,thehugecathedralitselfseemedtochangeintothewreckofsomemightyantediluvianvertebrate;itsflying-buttressesarchedroundlikeribs,itspiersshapedthemselvesintolimbs,andthesoundoftheorgan-blastchangedtothewindwhistlingthroughitsthousand-jointedskeleton。
Andpresentlythesoundlulled,andsoftenedandsoftened,untilitwasasthemurmurofadistantswarmofbees。Aprocessionofmonkswoundalongthroughanoldstreet,chanting,astheywalked。Inhisdreamheglidedinamongthemandborehispartintheburdenoftheirsong。Heenteredwiththelongtrainunderalowarch,andpresentlyhewaskneelinginanarrowcellbeforeanimageoftheBlessedMaidenholdingtheDivineChildinherarms,andhislipsseemedtowhisper,SanctaMaria,orapronobis!
Heturnedtothecrucifix,and,prostratinghimselfbeforethespare,agonizingshapeoftheHolySufferer,fellintoalongpassionoftearsandbrokenprayers。Heroseandflunghimself,worn-out,uponhishardpallet,and,seemingtoslumber,dreamedagainwithinhisdream。Oncemoreinthevastcathedral,withthrongsofthelivingchokingitsaisles,amidstjubilantpealsfromthecavernousdepthsofthegreatorgan,andchoralmelodiesringingfromtheflutythroatsofthesingingboys。Adayofgreatrejoicings,——foraprelatewastobeconsecrated,andthebonesofthemightyskeleton-
minsterwereshakingwithanthems,asiftherewerelifeofitsownwithinitsbuttressedribs。Helookeddownathisfeet;thefoldsofthesacredrobewereflowingaboutthem:heputhishandtohishead;
itwascrownedwiththeholymitre。Alongsigh,asofperfectcontentintheconsummationofallhisearthlyhopes,breathedthroughthedreamer’slips,andshapeditself,asitescaped,intotheblissfulmurmur,EgosumEpiscopus!
Onegrinninggargoylelookedinfrombeneaththeroofthroughanopeninginastainedwindow。Itwasthefaceofamockingfiend,suchastheoldbuilderslovedtoplaceundertheeavestospouttherainthroughtheiropenmouths。Itlookedathim,ashesatinhismitredchair,withitshideousgringrowingbroaderandbroader,untilitlaughedoutaloud,suchahard,stony,mockinglaugh,thatheawokeoutofhisseconddreamthroughhisfirstintohiscommonconsciousness,andshivered,asheturnedtothetwoyellowsermonswhichhewastopickoverandweedofthelittlethoughttheymightcontain,forthenextday’sservice。
TheReverendChauncyFairweatherwastoomuchtakenupwithhisownbodilyandspiritualconditiontobedeeplymindfulofothers。Hecarriedthenoterequestingtheprayersofthecongregationinhispocketallday;andthesoulindistress,whichasingletenderpetitionmighthavesoothed,andperhapshavesavedfromdespairorfatalerror,foundnovoiceinthetempletopleadforitbeforetheThroneofMercy!
CHAPTERXXVIII。
THESECRETISWHISPERED。
TheReverendChauncyFairweather’scongregationwasnotlarge,butselect。Thelinesofsocialcleavagerunthroughreligiouscreedsasiftheywereofapiecewithpositionandfortune。Itisexpectedofpersonsofacertainbreeding,insomepartsofNewEngland,thattheyshallbeeitherEpiscopaliansorUnitarians。Themansion-housegentryofRocklandwereprettyfairlydividedbetweenthelittlechapel,withthestainedwindowandthetrainedrector,andthemeeting-housewheretheReverendMr。Fairweatherofficiated。
ItwasinthelatterthatDudleyVennerworshipped,whenheattendedserviceanywhere,——whichdependedverymuchonthecapriceofElsie。
Hesawplainlyenoughthatagenerousandliberallycultivatednaturemightfindarefugeandcongenialsoulsineitherofthesetwopersuasions,butheobjectedtosomepointsoftheformalcreedoftheolderchurch,andespeciallytothemechanismwhichrendersithardtogetfreefromitsoutwornandoffensiveformulae,——
rememberinghowArchbishopTillotsonwishedinvainthatitcouldbe“wellridof“theAthanasianCreed。This,andthefactthatthemeeting-housewasnearerthanthechapel,determinedhim,whenthenewrector,whowasnotquiteuptohismarkineducation,wasappointed,totakeapewinthe“liberal“worshippers’edifice。
Elsiewasveryuncertaininherfeelingaboutgoingtochurch。Insummer,shelovedrathertostrolloverTheMountain,onSundays。
Therewasevenastory,thatshehadoneofthecavesbeforementionedfittedupasanoratory,andthatshehadherownwildwayofworshippingtheGodwhomshesoughtinthedarkchasmsofthedreadedcliffs。Merefables,doubtless;buttheyshowedthecommonbelief,thatElsie,withallherstrangeanddangerouselementsofcharacter,hadyetstrongreligiousfeelingmingledwiththem。Thehymn-bookwhichDickhadfound,inhismidnightinvasionofherchamber,openedtofavoritehymns,especiallysomeoftheMethodistandQuietistcharacter。Manyhadnoticed,thatcertaintunes,assungbythechoir,seemedtoimpressherdeeply;andsomesaid,thatatsuchtimesherwholeexpressionwouldchange,andherstormylookwouldsoftensoastoremindthemofherpoor,sweetmother。
OntheSundaymorningafterthetalkrecordedinthelastchapter,Elsiemadeherselfreadytogotomeeting。Shewasdressedmuchasusual,exceptingthatsheworeathickveil,turnedaside,butreadytoconcealherfeatures。Itwasnaturalenoughthatsheshouldnotwishtobelookedinthefacebycuriouspersonswhowouldbestaringtoseewhateffecttheoccurrenceofthepastweekhadhadonherspirits。Herfatherattendedherwillingly;andtheytooktheirseatsinthepew,somewhattothesurpriseofmany,whohadhardlyexpectedtoseethem,aftersohumiliatingafamilydevelopmentastheattemptedcrimeoftheirkinsmanhadjustbeenfurnishingfortheastonishmentofthepublic。
TheReverendMr。Fairweatherwasnowinhiscoldestmood。Hehadpassedthroughtheperiodoffeverishexcitementwhichmarksachangeofreligiousopinion。Atfirst,whenhehadbegantodoubthisowntheologicalpositions,hehaddefendedthemagainsthimselfwithmoreingenuityandinterest,perhaps,thanhecouldhavedoneagainstanother;becausemenrarelytakethetroubletounderstandanybody’sdifficultiesinaquestionbuttheirown。Afterthis,ashebegantodrawofffromdifferentpointsofhisoldbelief,thecautiousdisentanglingofhimselffromonemeshafteranothergavesharpnesstohisintellect,andthetremulouseagernesswithwhichheseizeduponthedoctrinewhich,piecebypiece,undervariouspretextsandwithvariousdisguises,hewasappropriating,gaveinterestandsomethinglikepassiontohiswords。Butwhenhehadgraduallyaccustomedhispeopletohisnewphraseology,andwasreallyadjustinghissermonsandhisservicetodisguisehisthoughts,helostatonceallhisintellectualacutenessandallhisspiritualfervor。
Elsiesatquietlythroughthefirstpartoftheservice,whichwasconductedinthecold,mechanicalwaytobeexpected。Herfacewashiddenbyherveil;butherfatherknewherstateoffeeling,aswellbyhermovementsandattitudesasbytheexpressionofherfeatures。
Thehymnhadbeensung,theshortprayeroffered,theBibleread,andthelongprayerwasabouttobegin。Thiswasthetimeatwhichthe“notes“ofanywhowereinafflictionfromlossoffriends,thesickwhoweredoubtfulofrecovery,thosewhohadcausetobegratefulforpreservationoflifeorothersignalblessing,werewonttoberead。
JustthenitwasthatDudleyVeneernoticedthathisdaughterwastrembling,——athingsorare,sounaccountable,indeed,underthecircumstances,thathewatchedherclosely,andbegantofearthatsomenervousparoxysm,orothermalady,mighthavejustbeguntoshowitselfinthiswayuponher。
Theministerhadinhispockettwonotes。One,inthehandwritingofDeaconSoper,wasfromamemberofthiscongregation,returningthanksforhispreservationthroughaseasonofgreatperil,supposedtobetheexposurewhichhehadsharedwithothers,whenstandinginthecirclearoundDickVeneer。Theotherwastheanonymousone,inafemalehand,whichhehadreceivedtheeveningbefore。Heforgotthemboth。Histhoughtswerealtogethertoomuchtakenupwithmoreimportantmatters。Heprayedthroughallthefrozenpetitionsofhisexpurgatedformofsupplication,andnotasingleheartwassoothedorlifted,orremindedthatitssorrowswerestrugglingtheirwayuptoheaven,borneonthebreathfromahumansoulthatwaswarmwithlove。
Thepeoplesatdownasifrelievedwhenthedrearyprayerwasfinished。Elsiealoneremainedstandinguntilherfathertouchedher。Thenshesatdown,liftedherveil,andlookedathimwithablank,sadlook,asifshehadsufferedsomepainorwrong,butcouldnotgiveanynameorexpressiontohervaguetrouble。Shedidnottrembleanylonger,butremainedominouslystill,asifshehadbeenfrozenwhereshesat——
Canamanlovehisownsoultoowell?Who,onthewhole,constitutethenoblerclassofhumanbeings?thosewhohavelivedmainlytomakesureoftheirownpersonalwelfareinanotherandfutureconditionofexistence,ortheywhohaveworkedwithalltheirmightfortheirrace,fortheircountry,fortheadvancementofthekingdomofGod,andleftallpersonalarrangementsconcerningthemselvestothesolechargeofHimwhomadethemandisresponsibletohimselffortheirsafe-keeping?Isananchoritewhohaswornthestonefloorofhiscellintobasinswithhiskneesbentinprayer,moreacceptablethanthesoldierwhogiveshislifeforthemaintenanceofanysacredrightortruth,withoutthinkingwhatwillspeciallybecomeofhiminaworldwheretherearetwoorthreemillioncolonistsamonth,fromthisoneplanet,tobecaredfor?
Thesearegravequestions,whichmustsuggestthemselvestothosewhoknowthattherearemanyprofoundlyselfishpersonswhoaresincerelydevoutandperpetuallyoccupiedwiththeirownfuture,whilethereareotherswhoareperfectlyreadytosacrificethemselvesforanyworthyobjectinthisworld,butarereallytoolittleoccupiedwiththeirexclusivepersonalitytothinksomuchasmanydoaboutwhatistobecomeoftheminanother。
TheReverendChauncyFairweatherdidnot,mostcertainly,belongtothislatterclass。Thereareseveralkindsofbelievers,whosehistorywefindamongtheearlyconvertstoChristianity。
Therewasthemagistrate,whosesocialpositionwassuchthathepreferredaprivateinterviewintheeveningwiththeTeachertofollowinghim——withthestreet-crowd。HehadseenextraordinaryfactswhichhadsatisfiedhimthattheyoungGalileanhadadivinecommission。Butstillhecross-questionedtheTeacherhimself。Hewasnotreadytoacceptstatementswithoutexplanation。Thatwastherightkindofman。SeehowhestoodupforthelegalrightsofhisMaster,whenthepeoplewereforlayinghandsonhim!
Andagain,therewasthegovernmentofficial,intrustedwithpublicmoney,which,inthosedays,impliedthathewassupposedtobehonest。Asinglelookofthatheavenlycountenance,andtwowordsofgentlecommand,wereenoughforhim。Neitherofthesemen,theearlydisciple,northeevangelist,seemstohavebeenthinkingprimarilyabouthisownpersonalsafety。
Butnowlookatthepoor,miserableturnkey,whoseoccupationshowswhathewasliketobe,andwhohadjustbeenthrustingtworespectablestrangers,takenfromthehandsofamob,coveredwithstripesandstrippedofclothing,intotheinnerprison,andmakingtheirfeetfastinthestocks。Histhought,inthemomentofterror,isforhimself:first,suicide;then,whatheshalldo,——nottosavehishousehold,——nottofulfilhisdutytohisoffice,——nottorepairtheoutragehehasbeencommitting,——buttosecurehisownpersonalsafety。Truly,charactershowsitselfasmuchinaman’swayofbecomingaChristianasinanyother!——
Elsiesat,statue-like,throughthesermon。Itwouldnotbefairtothereadertogiveanabstractofthat。Whenamanwhohasbeenbredtofreethoughtandfreespeechsuddenlyfindshimselfsteppingabout,likeadanceramidsthiseggs,amongtheoldaddledmajority-
voteswhichhemustnottreadupon,heisaspectacleformenandangels。Submissiontointellectualprecedentandauthoritydoesverywellforthosewhohavebeenbredtoit;weknowthattheundergroundcoursesoftheirmindsarelaidintheRomancementoftradition,andthatstatelyandsplendidstructuresmayberearedonsuchafoundation。Buttoseeonelayingaplatformoverhereticalquicksands,thirtyorfortyorfiftyyearsdeep,andthenbeginningtobuilduponit,isasorrysight。Anewconvertfromthereformedtotheancientfaithmaybeverystronginthearms,buthewillalwayshaveweaklegsandshakyknees。Hemayusehishandswell,andhithardwithhisfists,buthewillneverstandonhislegsinthewaythemandoeswhoinheritshisbelief。
Theserviceswereoveratlast,andDudleyVennerandhisdaughterwalkedhometogetherinsilence。Healwaysrespectedhermoods,andsawclearlyenoughthatsomeinwardtroublewasweighinguponher。
Therewasnothingtobesaidinsuchcases,forElsiecouldnevertalkofhergriefs。Anhour,oraday,oraweekofbrooding,withperhapsasuddenflashofviolence:thiswasthewayinwhichtheimpressionswhichmakeotherwomenweep,andtelltheirgriefsbywordorletter,showedtheireffectsinhermindandacts。
ShewanderedoffupintotheremoterpartsofTheMountain,thatday,aftertheirreturn。Noonesawjustwhereshewent,——indeed,nooneknewitsforest-recessesandrockyfastnessesasshedid。Shewasgoneuntillateatnight;andwhenOldSophy,whohadwatchedforher,boundupherlonghairforhersleep,itwasdampwiththecolddews。
Theoldblackwomanlookedatherwithoutspeaking,butquestioningherwitheveryfeatureastothesorrowthatwasweighingonher。
SuddenlysheturnedtoOldSophy。
“Youwanttoknowwhatthereistroublingme;“shesaid。“Nobodylovesme。Icannotloveanybody。Whatislove,Sophy?“
“It’swhatpoorOl’Sophy’sgotforherElsie。”theoldwomananswered。“Tellme,darlin’,——don’youlovesomebody?——don’youlove?youknow,——oh,tellme,darlin’,don’youlovetoseethegen’l’manthatkeepsupattheschoolwhereyougo?Theysayhe’sthepootiestgen’l’manthatwaseverinthetownhere。Don’be’fraidofpoorOl’Sophy,darlin’,——shelovedamanonce,——seehere!
Oh,I’veshowedyouthisoftenenough!“
ShetookfromherpocketahalfofoneoftheoldSpanishsilvercoins,suchaswerecurrentintheearlierpartofthiscentury。Theotherhalfofithadbeenlyinginthedeepsea-sandformorethanfiftyyears。
Elsielookedherintheface,butdidnotanswerinwords。Whatstrangeintelligencewasthatwhichpassedbetweenthemthroughthediamondeyesandthelittlebeadyblackones?——whatsubtileintercommunication,penetratingsomuchdeeperthanarticulatespeech?ThiswasthenearestapproachtosympatheticrelationsthatElsieeverhad:akindofdumbintercourseoffeeling,suchasoneseesintheeyesofbrutemotherslookingontheiryoung。But,subtileasitwas,itwasnarrowandindividual;whereasanemotionwhichcanshapeitselfinlanguageopensthegateforitselfintothegreatcommunityofhumanaffections;foreverywordwespeakisthemedalofadeadthoughtorfeeling,struckinthedieofsomehumanexperience,wornsmoothbyinnumerablecontacts,andalwaystransferredwarmfromonetoanother。Bywordswesharethecommonconsciousnessoftherace,whichhasshapeditselfinthesesymbols。
Bymusicwereachthosespecialstatesofconsciousnesswhich,beingwithoutform,cannotbeshapedwiththemosaicsofthevocabulary。
Thelanguageoftheeyesrunsdeeperintothepersonalnature,butitispurelyindividual,andperishesintheexpression。
Ifweconsiderthemallasgrowingoutoftheconsciousnessastheirroot,languageistheleaf,musicistheflower;butwhentheeyesmeetandsearcheachother,itistheuncoveringoftheblanchedstemthroughwhichthewholeliferuns,butwhichhasnevertakencolororformfromthesunlight。
ForthreedaysElsiedidnotreturntotheschool。Muchofthetimeshewasamongthewoodsandrocks。Theseasonwasnowbeginningtowane,andtheforesttoputonitsautumnalglory。Thedreamyhazewasbeginningtosoftenthelandscape,andthemastdeliciousdaysoftheyearwerelendingtheirattractiontothesceneryofTheMountain。ItwasnotverysingularthatElsieshouldbelingeringinheroldhaunts,fromwhichthechangeofseasonmustsoondriveher。
ButOldSophysawclearlyenoughthatsomeinternalconflictwasgoingon,andknewverywellthatitmusthaveitsownwayandworkitselfoutasitbestcould。AsmuchaslookscouldtellElsiehadtoldher。Shehadsaidinwords,tobesure,thatshecouldnotlove。Somethingwarpedandthwartedtheemotionwhichwouldhavebeenloveinanother,nodoubt;butthatsuchanemotionwasstrivingwithheragainstallmaligninfluenceswhichinterferedwithittheoldwomanhadaperfectcertaintyinherownmind。
Everybodywhohasobservedtheworkingofemotionsinpersonsofvarioustemperamentsknowswellenoughthattheyhaveperiodsofincubation,whichdifferwiththeindividual,andwiththeparticularcauseanddegreeofexcitement,yetevidentlygothroughastrictlyself-limitedseriesofevolutions,attheendofwhich,theirresult——anactofviolence,aparoxysmoftears,agradualsubsidenceintorepose,orwhateveritmaybe——declaresitself,likethelaststageofanattackoffeverandague。Noonecanobservechildrenwithoutnoticingthatthereisapersonalequation,tousetheastronomer’slanguage,intheirtempers,sothatonesulksanhouroveranoffencewhichmakesanotherafuryforfiveminutes,andleaveshimorheranangelwhenitisover。
Attheendofthreedays,Elsiebraidedherlong,glossy,blackhair,andshotagoldenarrowthroughit。Shedressedherselfwithmorethanusualcare,andcamedowninthemorningsuperbinherstormybeauty。Thebroodingparoxysmwasover,oratleastherpassionhadchangeditsphase。Herfathersawitwithgreatrelief;hehadalwaysmanyfearsforherinherhoursanddaysofgloom,but,forreasonsbeforeassigned,hadfeltthatshemustbetrustedtoherself,withoutappealingtoactualrestraint,oranyothersupervisionthansuchasOldSophycouldexercisewithoutoffence。
Shewentoffattheaccustomedhourtotheschool。Allthegirlshadtheireyesonher。Nonesokeenastheseyoungmissestoknowaninwardmovementbyanoutwardsignofadornment:iftheyhavenotasmanysignalsastheshipsthatsailthegreatseas,thereisnotanendofribbonoraturnofaringletwhichisnotahieroglyphicwithahiddenmeaningtotheselittlecruisersovertheoceanofsentiment。
ThegirlsalllookedatElsiewithanewthought;forshewasmoresumptuouslyarrayedthanperhapseverbeforeattheschool;andtheysaidtothemselvesthatshehadcomemeaningtodrawtheyoungmaster’seyesuponher。Thatwasit;whatelsecoulditbe?Thebeautifulcoldgirlwiththediamondeyesmeanttodazzlethehandsomeyounggentleman。Hewouldbeafraidtoloveher;itcouldn’tbetrue,thatwhichsomepeoplehadsaidinthevillage;shewasn’tthekindofyoungladytomakeMr。Langdonhappy。Thosedarkpeopleareneversafe:sooneoftheyoungblondessaidtoherself。
Elsiewasnotliteraryenoughforsuchascholar:sothoughtMissCharlotteAnnWood,theyoungpoetess。Shecouldn’thave,agoodtemper,withthosescowlingeyebrows:thiswastheopinionofseveralbroad-faced,smilinggirls,whothought,eachinherownsnuglittlementalsanctum,that,if,etc。,etc。,shecouldmakehimsohappy!
Elsiehadnoneofthestill,wickedlightinhereyes,thatmorning。
Shelookedgentle,butdreamy;playedwithherbooks;didnottroubleherselfwithanyoftheexercises,——whichinitselfwasnotveryremarkable,asshewasalwaysallowed,undersomepretextorother,tohaveherownway。
Theschool-hourswereoveratlength。Thegirlswentout,butshelingeredtothelast。ShethencameuptoMr。Bernard,withabookinherhand,asiftoaskaquestion。
“Willyouwalktowardsmyhomewithmetoday?“shesaid,inaverylowvoice,littlemorethanawhisper。
Mr。Bernardwasstartledbytherequest,putinsuchaway。Hehadapresentimentofsomepainfulsceneorother。Buttherewasnothingtobedonebuttoassureherthatitwouldgivehimgreatpleasure。
SotheywalkedalongtogetherontheirwaytowardtheDudleymansion。
“Ihavenofriend。”Elsiesaid,allatonce。“Nothinglovesmebutoneoldwoman。Icannotloveanybody。Theytellmethereissomethinginmyeyesthatdrawspeopletomeandmakesthemfaint:
Lookintothem,willyou?“
Sheturnedherfacetowardhim。Itwasverypale,andthediamondeyeswereglitteringwithafilm,suchasbeneathotherlidswouldhaveroundedintoatear。
“Beautifuleyes,Elsie。”hesaid,——“sometimesverypiercing,——butsoftnow,andlookingasifthereweresomethingbeneaththemthatfriendshipmightdrawout。Iamyourfriend,Elsie。TellmewhatI
candotorenderyourlifehappier。”
“Loveme!“saidElsieVenner。
Whatshallamando,whenawomanmakessuchademand,involvingsuchanavowal?Itwasthetenderest,cruellest,humblestmomentofMr。
Bernard’slife。Heturnedpale,hetrembledalmost,asifhehadbeenawomanlisteningtoherlover’sdeclaration。
“Elsie。”hesaid,presently,“Isolongtobeofsomeusetoyou,tohaveyourconfidenceandsympathy,thatImustnotletyousayordoanythingtoputusinfalserelations。Idoloveyou,Elsie,asasufferingsisterwithsorrowsofherown,——asonewhomIwouldsaveattheriskofmyhappinessandlife,——asonewhoneedsatruefriendmorethan——anyofalltheyounggirlsIhaveknown。Morethanthisyouwouldnotaskmetosay。Youhavebeenthroughexcitementandtroublelately,andithasmadeyoufeelsuchaneedmorethanever。
Givemeyourhand,dearElsie,andtrustmethatIwillbeastrueafriendtoyouasifwewerechildrenofthesamemother。”
Elsiegavehimherhandmechanically。Itseemedtohimthatacoldaurashotfromitalonghisarmandchilledthebloodrunningthroughhisheart。Hepresseditgently,lookedatherwithafacefullofgravekindnessandsadinterest,thensoftlyrelinquishedit。
ItwasalloverwithpoorElsie。Theywalkedalmostinsilencetherestoftheway。Mr。Bernardleftheratthegateofthemansion-
house,andreturnedwithsadforebodings。Elsiewentatoncetoherownroom,anddidnotcomefromitattheusualhours。AtlastOldSophybegantobealarmedabouther,wenttoherapartment,and,findingthedoorunlocked,enteredcautiously。ShefoundElsielyingonherbed,herbrowsstronglycontracted,hereyesdull,herwholelookthatofgreatsuffering。Herfirstthoughtwasthatshehadbeendoingherselfaharmbysomedeadlymeansorother。ButElsie,sawherfear,andreassuredher。
“No。”shesaid,“thereisnothingwrong,suchasyouarethinkingof;
Iamnotdying。YoumaysendfortheDoctor;perhapshecantakethepainfrommyhead。ThatisallIwanthimtodo。Thereisnouseinthepain,thatIknowof;ifhecanstopit,lethim。”
SotheysentfortheoldDoctor。ItwasnotlongbeforethesolidtrotofCaustic,theoldbayhorse,andthecrashingofthegravelunderthewheels,gavenoticethatthephysicianwasdrivinguptheavenue。
TheoldDoctorwasamodelforvisitingpractitioners。Healwayscameintothesick-roomwithaquiet,cheerfullook,asifhehadaconsciousnessthathewasbringingsomesurereliefwithhim。Thewayapatientsnatcheshisfirstlookathisdoctor’sface,toseewhetherheisdoomed,whetherheisreprieved,whetherheisunconditionallypardoned,hasreallysomethingterribleaboutit。Itisonlytobemetbyanimperturbablemaskofserenity,proofagainstanythingandeverythinginapatient’saspect。Thephysicianwhosefacereflectshispatient’sconditionlikeamirrormaydowellenoughtoexaminepeopleforalife-insuranceoffice,butdoesnotbelongtothesickroom。TheoldDoctordidnotkeeppeoplewaitingindreadsuspense,whilehestayedtalkingaboutthecase,——thepatientallthetimethinkingthatheandthefriendsarediscussingsomealarmingsymptomorformidableoperationwhichhehimselfisby-
and-by——tohearof。
HewasinElsie’sroomalmostbeforesheknewhewasinthehouse。
Hecametoherbedsideinsuchanatural,quietway,thatitseemedasifhewereonlyafriendwhohaddroppedinforamomenttosayapleasantword。YethewasveryuneasyaboutElsieuntilhehadseenher;heneverknewwhatmighthappentoherorthoseabouther,andcamepreparedfortheworst。
“Sick,mychild?“hesaid,inaverysoft,lowvoice。
Elsienodded,withoutspeaking。
TheDoctortookherhand,——whetherwithprofessionalviews,oronlyinafriendlyway,itwouldhavebeenhardtotell。Sohesatafewminutes,lookingatherallthetimewithakindoffatherlyinterest,butwithitallnotinghowshelay,howshebreathed,hercolor,herexpression,allthatteachesthepractisedeyesomuchwithoutasinglequestionbeingasked。Hesawshewasinsuffering,andsaidpresently,“Youhavepainsomewhere;whereisit?“
Sheputherhandtoherhead。
Asshewasnotdisposedtotalk,hewatchedherforawhile,questionedOldSophyshrewdlyafewminutes,andsomadeuphismindastotheprobablecauseofdisturbanceandtheproperremediestobeused。
SomeverysillypeoplethoughttheoldDoctordidnotbelieveinmedicine,becausehegavelessthancertainpoorhalf-taughtcreaturesinthesmallerneighboringtowns,whotookadvantageofpeople’ssicknesstodisgustanddisturbthemwithallmannerofill-
smellingandill-behavingdrugs。Intruth,hehatedtogiveanythingnoxiousorloathsometothosewhowereuncomfortableenoughalready,unlesshewasverysureitwoulddogood,——inwhichcase,heneverplayedwithdrugs,butgavegood,honest,efficientdoses。Sometimeshelostafamilyofthemoreboorishsort,becausetheydidnotthinktheygottheirmoney’sworthoutofhim,unlesstheyhadsomethingmorethanatasteofeverythinghecarriedinhissaddlebags。
HeorderedsomeremedieswhichhethoughtwouldrelieveElsie,andlefther,sayinghewouldcallthenextday,hopingtofindherbetter。Butthenextdaycame,andthenext,andstillElsiewasonherbed,feverish,restless,wakeful,silent。Atnightshetossedaboutandwandered,anditbecameatlengthapparentthattherewasasettledattack,somethinglikewhattheycalled,formerly,a“nervousfever。”
Onthefourthdayshewasmorerestlessthancommon。Oneofthewomenofthehousecameintohelptotakecareofher;butsheshowedanaversiontoherpresence。
“SendmeHelenDarley。”shesaid,atlast。
TheoldDoctortoldthem,that,ifpossible,theymustindulgethisfancyofhers。Thecapricesofsickpeoplewerenevertobedespised,leastofallofsuchpersonsasElsie,whenrenderedirritableandexactingbypainandweakness。
SoamessagewassenttoMr。SilasPeckhamattheApollineanInstitute,toknowifhecouldnotspareMissHelenDarleyforafewdays,ifrequired,togiveherattentiontoayoungladywhoattendedhisschoolandwhowasnowlyingill,——nootherpersonthanthedaughterofDudleyVenner。
Ameanmanneveragreestoanythingwithoutdeliberatelyturningitover,sothathemayseeitsdirtyside,and,ifhecan,sweatingthecoinhepaysforit。Ifanarchangelshouldoffertosavehissoulforsixpence,hewouldtrytofindasixpencewithaholeinit。A
gentlemansaysyestoagreatmanythingswithoutstoppingtothink:
ashabbyfellowisknownbyhiscautioninansweringquestions,forfearof,compromisinghispocketorhimself。
Mr。SilasPeckhamlookedverygraveattherequest。ThedootiesofMissDarleyattheInstitootwereimportant,veryimportant。Hepaidherlargesumsofmoneyforhertime,——morethanshecouldexpecttogetinanyotherinstitootionfortheedoocationoffemaleyouth。A
deductionfromherselarywouldbenecessary,incasesheshouldretirefromthesphereofherdootiesforaseason。Heshouldbeputtoextryexpense,andhavetoperformadditionallaborshimself。Hewouldconsiderofthematter。Ifanyarrangementcouldbemade,hewouldsendwordtoSquireVenner’sfolks。
“MissDarley。”saidSilasPeckham,“the’’samessagefromSquireVenner’sthathisdaughterwantsyoudownatthemansion-housetoseeher。She’sgotafever,sotheyinformme。Ifit’sanykindofketchin’fever,ofcourseyouwon’tthinkofgoin’nearthemansion-
house。IfDoctorKittredgesaysit’ssafe,perfec’lysafe,Ican’tobjecttoyourgoin’,onsechconditionsasseemtobefairtoall’
concerned。Youwillgiveupyourpayforthewholetimeyouare。
absent,——portionsofdaystobecaountedaswholedays。Youwillbechargedwithboardthesameasifyoueatyourvictualswiththehousehold。Thevictualsareofnouseafterthey’recookedbuttobeeat,andyourbein’awayisnosavin’toourfolks。Ishallchargeyouareasonablecompensationforthedemagetotheschoolbytheabsenceofateacher。IfMissCrabsundertakesanydootiesbelongin’
toyourdepartmentofinstruction,shewilllooktoyouforsechpecooniaryconsiderationsasyoumayagreeuponbetweenyou。OntheseconditionsIamwillin’togivemyconsenttoyourtemporaryabsencefromthepostofdooty。IwillstepdowntoDoctorKittredge’smyself,andmakeinquiriesastothenatur’ofthecomplaint。”
Mr。Peckhamtookuparustyandverynarrow-brimmedhat,whichhecockedupononesideofhishead,withanairpeculiartotheruralgentry。ItwasthehourwhentheDoctorexpectedtobeinhisoffice,unlesshehadsomespecialcallwhichkepthimfromhome。
HefoundtheReverendChauncyFairweatherjusttakingleaveoftheDoctor。Hishandwasonthepitofhisstomach,andhiscountenancewasexpressiveofinwarduneasiness。
“Shakeitbeforeusing。”saidtheDoctor;“andthesooneryoumakeupyourmindtospeakrightout,thebetteritwillbeforyourdigestion。”
“Oh,Mr。Peckham!Walkin,Mr。Peckham!Nobodysickupattheschool,Ihope?“
“Thehaalthoftheschoolisfust-rate。”repliedMr。Peckham。“Thesitooationisuncommonlyfavorabletosaloobrity。”TheselastwordswerefromtheAnnualReportofthepastyear。“Providencehassparedourfemaleyouthinaremarkablemeasure。I’vecomewithreferencetoanotherconsideration。Dr。Kittredge,isthereanyketchin’
complaintgoin’aboutinthevillage?“
“Well,yes。”saidtheDoctor,“Ishouldsaytherewassomethingofthatsort。Measles。Mumps。AndSin,——that’salwayscatching。”
TheoldDoctor’seyetwinkled;onceinawhilehehadhislittletouchofhumor。
SilasPeckhamslantedhiseyeupsuspiciouslyattheDoctor,asifhewasgettingsomekindofadvantageoverhim。Thatisthewaypeopleofhisconstitutionareapttotakeabitofpleasantry。