`Oblonsky’scarriage!’theportershoutedinanangrybass。Thecarriagedroveupandbothgotin。Itwasonlyforthefirstfewmoments,whilethecarriagewasdrivingoutoftheclubhousegates,thatLevinwasstillundertheinfluenceoftheclubatmosphereofrepose,comfort,andunimpeachablegoodform。Butassoonasthecarriagedroveoutintothestreet,andhefeltitjoltingovertheunevenroad,heardtheangryshoutofadrivercomingtowardthem,sawintheuncertainlighttheredblindofatavernandtheshops,thisimpressionwasdissipated,andhebegantothinkoverhisactions,andtowonderwhetherhewasdoingrightingoingtoseeAnna。WhatwouldKittysay?ButStepanArkadyevichgavehimnotimeforreflection,and,asthoughdivininghisdoubts,hedispersedthem。
`HowgladIam,’hesaid,`thatyoushouldknowher!YouknowDollyhaslongwishedforit。AndLvov’sbeentoseeher,andoftengoes。Thoughsheismysister,’StepanArkadyevichpursued,`Idon’thesitatetosaythatshe’saremarkablewoman……Butyouwillsee。Herpositionisverypainful,especiallynow。’
`Whyespeciallynow?’
`Wearecarryingonnegotiationswithherhusbandaboutadivorce。Andhe’sagreed;buttherearedifficultiesinregardtotheson,andthebusiness,whichoughttohavebeenarrangedlongago,hasbeendraggingonforthreemonthspast。Assoonasthedivorceisover,shewillmarryVronsky。Howstupidtheseoldritualformsare-``Isaiah,rejoice!’-whichnoonebelievesin,andwhichonlypreventpeoplebeingcomfortable!’StepanArkadyevichputin。`Well,thentheirpositionwillbeasregularasmine,asyours。’
`Whatisthedifficulty?’saidLevin。
`Oh,it’salongandtediousstoryThewholebusinessisinsuchanindefinitestatewithus。Butthepointis,shehasbeenforthreemonthsinMoscow,whereeveryoneknowsher,waitingforthedivorce;shegoesoutnowhere,seesnowomanexceptDolly,because,doyouunderstand,shedoesn’tcaretohavepeoplecomeasafavor。ThatfoolPrincessVarvara,evenshehaslefther,consideringthisabreachofpropriety。Well,yousee,insuchapositionanyotherwomanwouldnothavefoundresourcesinherself。Butyou’llseehowshehasarrangedherlife-howcalm,howdignifiedsheis。Totheleft,inthealleyoppositethechurch!’shoutedStepanArkadyevich,leaningoutofthewindowofthecarriage。`Phew!Howhotitis!’hesaid,inspiteoftwelvedegreesoffrost,flingingopenhisunbuttonedovercoatstillmore。
`Butshehasadaughter:nodoubtshe’sbusylookingafterher?’saidLevin。
`Ibelieveyoupictureeverywomansimplyasafemale,unecouveuse,’saidStepanArkadyevich。`Ifshe’soccupied,itmustbewithherchildren。No,shebringsherupcapitally,Ibelieve,butonedoesn’thearabouther。She’sbusy,inthefirstplace,withwhatshewrites。Iseeyou’resmilingironically,butyou’rewrong。She’swritingachildren’sbook,anddoesn’ttalkaboutittoanyone,butshereadittomeandIgavethemanuscripttoVorkuev……youknow,thepublisher……Andhe’sanauthorhimselftoo,Ifancy。Heunderstandsthosethings,andhesaysit’saremarkablepieceofwork。Butareyoufancyingshe’sawritingwoman?Notabitofit。She’sawomanwithaheart,beforeeverything,butyou’llsee。NowshehasalittleEnglishgirlwithher,andawholefamilyshe’slookingafter。’
`Oh,somethinginaphilanthropicway?’
`Why,youwilllookateverythingintheworstlight。It’snotfromphilanthropy,it’sfromtheheart。They-thatis,Vronsky-hadatrainer,anEnglishman,first-rateinhisownline,butadrunkard。He’scompletelygivenuptodrink-deliriumtremens-andthefamilywerecastontheworld。Shesawthem,helpedthem,gotmoreandmoreinterestedinthem,andnowthewholefamilyisonherhands。Butnotbywayofpatronage,youknow,helpingwithmoney;she’sherselfpreparingtheboysinRussianforthehighschool,andshe’stakenthelittlegirltolivewithher。Butyou’llseeherforyourself。’
Thecarriagedroveintothecourtyard,andStepanArkadyevichrangloudlyattheentrancewhereasleighwasstanding。
And,withoutaskingtheservantwhoopenedthedoorwhethertheladywereathome,StepanArkadyevichwalkedintothehall。Levinfollowedhim,moreandmoredoubtfulwhetherheweredoingrightorwrong。
Lookingathimselfintheglass,Levinnoticedthathewasredintheface,buthefeltcertainhewasnotdrunk,andhefollowedStepanArkadyevichupthecarpetedstairs。AtthetopStepanArkadyevichinquiredofthefootman,whobowedtohimastoanintimatefriend,whowaswithAnnaArkadyevna,andreceivedtheanswerthatitwasM。Vorkuev。
`Wherearethey?’
`Inthestudy。’
Passingthroughthediningroom,aroomnotverylarge,withdarkpaneledwalls,StepanArkadyevichandLevinwalkedoverthesoftcarpettothehalf-darkstudy,lightedupbyasinglelampwithabigdarkshade。Anotherlampwithareflectorwashangingonthewall,lightingupabigfull-lengthportraitofawoman,whichLevincouldnothelplookingat。ItwastheportraitofAnna,paintedinItalybyMikhailov。WhileStepanArkadyevichwentbehindthetreillage,andtheman’svoicewhichhadbeenspeakingpaused,Levingazedattheportrait,whichstoodoutfromtheframeinthebrilliantlightthrownonit,andhecouldnottearhimselfawayfromit。Hepositivelyforgotwherehewas,andnotevenhearingwhatwassaid,hecouldnottakehiseyesoffthemarvelousportrait。Itwasnotapicture,butaliving,charmingwoman,withblackcurlinghair,withbarearmsandshoulders,withapensivesmileonthelips,coveredwithsoftdown;triumphantlyandsoftlyshelookedathimwitheyesthatbaffledhim。Shewasnotliving,onlybecauseshewasmorebeautifulthananylivingwomancanbe。
`Iamdelighted。’Heheardsuddenlynearhimavoice,unmistakablyaddressinghim,thevoiceoftheverywomanhehadbeenadmiringintheportrait。Annahadcomefrombehindthetreillagetomeethim,andLevinsawinthedimlightofthestudytheverywomanoftheportrait,inadark-bluegownofchangeableblue,notinthesamepositionnorwiththesameexpression,butwiththesameperfectionofbeautywhichtheartisthadcaughtintheportrait。Shewaslessdazzlinginreality,but,ontheotherhand,therewassomethingfreshandseductiveinthelivingwomanwhichwasnotintheportrait。
Shehadrisentomeethim,withoutconcealingherpleasureatseeinghim;andinthequieteasewithwhichsheheldoutherlittleandvigoroushand,introducedhimtoVorkuev,andindicatedared-haired,prettylittlegirlwhowassittingatwork,callingherherpupil,Levinrecognizedandlikedthemannersofawomanofthegreatworld,alwaysself-possessedandnatural。
`Iamdelighted,delighted,’sherepeated,andonherlipsthesesimplewordstookforLevin’searsaspecialsignificance。`Ihaveknownyouandlikedyouforalongwhile,bothfromyourfriendshipwithStivaandforyourwife’ssake……Iknewherforaveryshorttime,butsheleftonmetheimpressionofanexquisiteflower-justaflower。Andtothinkshewillsoonbeamother!’
Shespokeeasilyandwithouthaste,lookingnowandthenfromLevintoherbrother,andLevinfeltthattheimpressionhewasmakingwasgood,andhefeltimmediatelyathome,ateaseandhappywithher,asthoughhehadknownherfromchildhood。
`IvanPetrovichandIsettledinAlexei’sstudy,’shesaidinanswertoStepanArkadyevich’squestionwhetherhemightsmoke,`justsoastobeabletosmoke’-andglancingatLevin,insteadofaskingwhetherhewouldsmoke,shepulledcloseratortoise-shellcigarettecaseandtookacorn-leafcigarette。
`Howareyoufeelingtoday?’herbrotheraskedher。
`Oh,nothing。Nerves,asusual。’
`Yes,isn’titextraordinarilyfine?’saidStepanArkadyevich,noticingthatLevinwasglancingatthepicture。
`Ihaveneverseenabetterportrait。’
`Andextraordinarilylike,isn’tit?’saidVorkuev。
Levinlookedfromtheportraittotheoriginal。ApeculiarbrilliancelightedupAnna’sfacewhenshefelthiseyesonher。Levinflushed,andtocoverhisconfusionwouldhaveaskedwhethershehadseenDaryaAlexandrovnalately;butatthatmomentAnnaspoke:
`Wewerejusttalking,IvanPetrovichandI,ofVashchenkov’slastpictures。Haveyouseenthem?’
`Yes,Ihaveseenthem,’answeredLevin。
`But,Ibegyourpardon,Iinterruptedyou……Youweresaying?……’
LevinaskedifshehadseenDollylately。
`Shewashereyesterday。ShewasveryindignantwiththehighschoolpeopleonGrisha’saccount。TheLatinteacher,itseems,hadbeenunfairtohim。’
`Yes,Ihaveseenhispictures。Ididn’tcareforthemverymuch,’Levinwentbacktothesubjectshehadstarted。
Levintalkednownotatallwiththatpurelybusinesslikeattitudetothesubjectwithwhichhehadbeentalkingallthemorning。Everywordinhisconversationwithherhadaspecialsignificance。Andtalkingtoherwaspleasant;stillpleasanterwasittolistentoher。
Annatalkednotmerelynaturallyandcleverly,butcleverlyandcarelessly,attachingnovaluetoherownideasandgivinggreatweighttotheideasofthepersonshewastalkingto。
Theconversationturnedonthenewmovementinart,onthenewillustrationsoftheBiblebyaFrenchartist。Vorkuevattackedtheartistforarealismcarriedtothepointofcoarseness。LevinsaidthattheFrenchhadcarriedconventionalityfurtherthananyone,andthatconsequentlytheyseeagreatmeritinthereturntorealism。Inthefactofnotlyingtheyseepoetry。
NeverhadanythingcleversaidbyLevingivenhimsomuchpleasureasthisremark。Anna’sfacelightedupatonce,assheimmediatelyappreciatedthethought。Shelaughed。
`Ilaugh,’shesaid,`asonelaughswhenoneseesaverytrueportrait。WhatyousaidsoperfectlyhitsoffFrenchartnow,painting-andliteraturetoo,indeed-Zola,Daudet。Butperhapsitisalwaysso,thatmenformtheirconceptionsfromfictitious,conventionaltypes,andthen-allthecombinaisonsmade-theyaretiredofthefictitiousfiguresandbegintoinventmorenatural,truefigures。’
`That’sperfectlytrue,’saidVorkuev。
`Soyou’vebeenattheclub?’shesaidtoherbrother。
`Yes,yes,thisawoman!’Levinthought,forgettinghimselfandstaringpersistentlyatherlovely,mobileface,whichatthatmomentwasallatoncecompletelytransformed。Levindidnothearwhatshewastalkingofassheleanedovertoherbrother,buthewasstruckbythechangeofherexpression。Herface-sohandsomeamomentbeforeinitsrepose-suddenlyworealookofstrangecuriosity,anger,andpride。Butthislastedonlyaninstant。Shehalf-closedhereyes,asthoughrecollectingsomething。
`Oh,well,butthat’sofnointeresttoanyone,’shesaid,andsheturnedtotheEnglishgirl。
`Pleaseordertheteainthedrawingroom,’shesaidinEnglish。
Thegirlgotupandwentout。
`Well,howdidshegetthroughherexamination?’askedStepanArkadyevich。
`Splendidly!She’saverygiftedchildandasweetcharacter。’
`Itwillendinyourlovinghermorethanyourown。’
`Thereamanspeaks。Inlovethere’snosuchthingasmoreorless。Ilovemydaughterwithonelove,andherwithanother。’
`IwasjusttellingAnnaArkadyevna,’saidVorkuev,`thatifsheweretoputahundredthpartoftheenergyshedevotestothisEnglishgirltothepublicquestionoftheeducationofRussianchildren,shewouldbedoingagreatandusefulwork。’
`Yes,butIcan’thelpit;Icouldn’tdoit。CountAlexeiKirillovichurgedmeverymuch’assheutteredthewordsCountAlexeiKirillovichsheglancedwithappealingtimidityatLevin,andheunconsciouslyrespondedwitharespectfulandreassuringlook,`heurgedmetotakeuptheschoolinthevillage。Ivisiteditseveraltimes。Thechildrenwereverydear,butIcouldnotfeeldrawntothework。Youspeakofenergy。Energyrestsuponlove;and,comeasitwill,there’snoforcingit。Itooktothischild-Icouldnotmyselfsaywhy。’
AndsheglancedagainatLevin。Andhersmileandherglance-alltoldhimthatitwastohimonlyshewasaddressingherwords,valuinghisgoodopinion,andatthesametimesurebeforehandthattheyunderstoodoneanother。
`Iquiteunderstandthat,’Levinanswered。`It’simpossibletogiveone’shearttoaschoolorsuchinstitutionsingeneral,andIbelievethatthat’sjustwhyphilanthropicinstitutionsalwaysgivesuchpoorresults。’
Shewassilentforawhile,thenshesmiled。`Yes,yes,’sheagreed;`Inevercould。Jen’aipaslecoeurassezlargetoloveawholeasylumofhorridlittlegirls。Celanem’ajamaisréussi。Therearesomanywomenwhohavemadethemselvesunepositionsocialeinthatway。Andnowmorethanever,’shesaidwithamournful,confidingexpression,ostensiblyaddressingherbrother,butunmistakablyintendingherwordsonlyforLevin,`nowwhenIhavesuchneedofsomeoccupation,Icannot。’AndsuddenlyfrowningLevinsawthatshewasfrowningatherselffortalkingaboutherselfshechangedthesubject。`Iknowaboutyou,’shesaidtoLevin;`thatyou’renotapublic-spiritedcitizen,andIhavedefendedyoutothebestofmyability。’
`Howhaveyoudefendedme?’
`Oh,accordingtotheattacksmadeonyou。Butwon’tyouhavesometea?’Sheroseandtookupabookboundinmorocco。
`Giveittome,AnnaArkadyevna,’saidVorkuev,indicatingthebook。`It’swellworthtakingup。’
`Oh,no,it’sallsosketchy。’
`Itoldhimaboutit,’StepanArkadyevichsaidtohissister,noddingatLevin。
`Youshouldn’thave。MywritingissomethingafterthefashionofthoselittlebasketsandcarvingswhichLizaMertsalovausedtosellmefromtheprisons。Shehadthedirectionoftheprisondepartmentinthatsociety,’sheturnedtoLevin;`andtheyweremiraclesofpatience,theworkofthosepoorwretches。’
AndLevinsawanewtraitinthiswoman,whoattractedhimsoextraordinarily。Besideswit,grace,andbeauty,shehadtruth。Shehadnowishtohidefromhimallthebitternessofherposition。Asshesaidthatshesighed,andherface,suddenlyassumingahardexpression,looked,asitwere,turnedtostone。Withthatexpressiononherfaceshewasmorebeautifulthanever;buttheexpressionwasnew;itwasutterlyunlikethatexpression,radiantwithhappinessandcreatinghappiness,whichhadbeencaughtbythepainterinherportrait。Levinlookedmorethanonceattheportraitandatherfigure,astakingherbrother’sarmshewalkedwithhimtothehighdoors,andhefeltforheratendernessandpityatwhichhewonderedhimself。
SheaskedLevinandVorkuevtogointothedrawingroom,whileshestayedbehindtosayafewwordstoherbrother。`Aboutherdivorce,aboutVronsky,andwhathe’sdoingattheclub,aboutme?’wonderedLevin。AndhewassokeenlyinterestedbythequestionofwhatshewassayingtoStepanArkadyevich,thathescarcelyheardwhatVorkuevwastellinghimofthequalitiesofthestoryforchildrenAnnaArkadyevnahadwritten。
Atteathesamepleasantsortoftalk,fullofinterestingmatter,continued。Therewasnotasingleinstantwhenasubjectforconversationwastoseek;onthecontrary,itwasfeltthatonehadhardlytimetosaywhatonehadtosay,andeagerlyheldbacktohearwhattheothersweresaying。Andallthatwassaid,notonlybyher,butbyVorkuevandStepanArkadyevich-all,soitseemedtoLevin,gainedpeculiarsignificancefromherattentiontohimandhercriticism。
Whilehefollowedthisinterestingconversation,Levinwasallthetimeadmiringher-herbeauty,herintelligence,herculture,andatthesametimeherdirectnessandhercordiality。Helistenedandtalked,andallthewhilehewasthinkingofherinnerlife,tryingtodivineherfeelings。Andthoughhehadjudgedhersoseverelyhitherto,nowbysomestrangechainofreasoninghewasjustifyingherandalsowassorryforher,andafraidthatVronskydidnotfullyunderstandher。Atteno’clock,whenStepanArkadyevichgotuptogoVorkuevhadleftearlier,itseemedtoLevinthathehadonlyjustcome。RegretfullyLevintoorose。
`Good-by,’shesaid,holdinghishandandglancingintohisfacewithawinninglook。`Iamverygladquelaglaceestrompue。’
Shedroppedhishand,andhalf-closedhereyes。
`TellyourwifethatIloveherasbefore,andthatifshecannotpardonmemyposition,thenmywishforheristhatshemayneverpardonme。Topardonit,onemustgothroughwhatIhavegonethrough,andmayGodspareherthat。’
`Certainly,yes,Iwilltellher……’Levinsaid,blushing。
`Whatamarvelous,sweetandunhappywoman!’hewasthinking,ashesteppedoutintothefrostyairwithStepanArkadyevich。
`Well,didn’tItellyou?’saidStepanArkadyevich,seeingthatLevinhadbeencompletelywonover。
`Yes,’saidLevinpensively,`anextraordinarywoman!It’snothercleverness,butshehassuchwonderfuldepthoffeeling。I’mawfullysorryforher!’
`Now,pleaseGodeverythingwillsoonbesettled。Well,well,don’tbehardonpeopleinfuture,’saidStepanArkadyevich,openingthecarriagedoor。`Good-by;wedon’tgothesameway。’
StillthinkingofAnna,ofeverything,eventhesimplestphraseintheirconversationwithher,andrecallingtheminutestchangesinherexpression,enteringmoreandmoreintoherposition,andfeelingsympathyforher,Levinreachedhome。
AthomeKouzmatoldLevinthatKaterinaAlexandrovnawasquitewell,andthathersistershadjustgone,andhehandedhimtwoletters。Levinreadthematonceinthehall,thathemightnotoverlookthemlater。OnewasfromSokolov,hisbailiff。Sokolovwrotethatthewheatcouldnotbesold,thatthepricewasonlyfiveandahalfroubles,andthathedidnotknowwherehehadtogetthemoney。Theotherletterwasfromhissister。Shescoldedhimforherbusinessbeingstillunsettled。
`Well,wemustsellitatfiveandahalfifwecan’tgetmore,’Levindecidedonthespotthefirstquestionwhichhadalwaysbeforeseemedsuchaweightyone,withextraordinaryfacility。`It’sextraordinaryhowallone’stimeistakenuphere,’hethought,consideringthesecondletter。Hefelthimselftoblamefornothavinggotdonewhathissisterhadaskedhimtodoforher。`Today,again,I’venotbeentocourt,buttodayI’vecertainlynothadtime。’Andresolvingthathewouldnotfailtodoitnextday,hewentuptohiswife。Ashewentin,Levinmentallyranrapidlythroughthedayhehadspent。Alltheeventsofthedaywereconversations:conversationshehadheardandtakenpartin。Alltheconversationswereuponsubjectswhich,ifhehadbeenaloneinthecountry,hewouldneverhavetakenup,butheretheywereveryinteresting。Andalltheseconversationswererightenough,onlyintwoplacestherewassomethingnotquiteright。Onewaswhathehadsaidaboutthecarp,theotherwassomethingnotquitethethinginthetendersympathyhewasfeelingforAnna。
Levinfoundhiswifelow-spiritedanddull。Thedinnerofthethreesistershadgoneoffverywell,butthentheyhadwaitedandwaitedforhim,allofthemhadfeltdull,thesistershaddeparted,andshehadbeenleftalone。
`Well,andwhathaveyoubeendoing?’sheaskedhim,lookingstraightintohiseyes,whichshonewithratherasuspiciousbrightness。Butthatshemightnotpreventhistellinghereverything,sheconcealedherclosescrutinyofhim,andwithanapprovingsmilelistenedtohisaccountofhowhehadspenttheevening。
`Well,I’mverygladImetVronsky。Ifeltquiteateaseandnaturalwithhim。Youunderstand,Ishalltrynottoseehim,butI’mgladthatthisawkwardnessisallover,’hesaid,andrememberingthat,bywayoftryingnottoseehim,hehadimmediatelygonetocallonAnna,heblushed。`Wetalkaboutthepeasantsdrinking;Idon’tknowwhodrinksmost,thepeasantryorourownclass;thepeasantsdoitonholidays,but……’
ButKittytooknottheslightestinterestindiscussingthedrinkinghabitsofthepeasants。Shesawthatheblushed,andshewantedtoknowwhy。
`Well,andthenwheredidyougo?’
`StivaurgedmeawfullytogoandseeAnnaArkadyevna。’
Andashesaidthis,Levinblushedevenmore,andhisdoubtsastowhetherhehaddonerightingoingtoseeAnnaweresettledonceforall。Heknewnowthatheoughtnottohavedoneso。
Kitty’seyesopenedinacuriouswayandgleamedatAnna’sname,butcontrollingherselfwithaneffort,sheconcealedheremotionanddeceivedhim。
`Oh!’wasallshesaid。
`I’msureyouwon’tbeangryatmygoing。Stivabeggedmeto,andDollywishedit,’Levinwenton。
`Oh,no!’shesaid,buthesawinhereyesaconstraintthatbodedhimnogood。
`Sheisaverysweet,avery,veryunhappy,goodwoman,’hesaid,tellingheraboutAnna,heroccupations,andwhatshehadtoldhimtosaytoher。
`Yes,ofcourse,sheisverymuchtobepitied,’saidKitty,whenhehadfinished。`Whomwasyourletterfrom?’
Hetoldher,andbelievinginhercalmtone,hewenttochangehiscoat。
Comingback,hefoundKittyinthesameeasychair。Whenhewentuptoher,sheglancedathimandbrokeintosobs。
`What?Whatisit?’heasked,knowingbeforehandwhat。
`You’reinlovewiththathatefulwoman;shehasbewitchedyou!Isawitinyoureyes。Yes,yes!Whatcanitallleadto?Youweredrinkingattheclub,drinkingandgambling,andthenyouwent……Where?No,wemustgoaway……Ishallgoawaytomorrow。’
ItwasalongwhilebeforeLevincouldsoothehiswife。Atlasthesucceededincalmingher,onlybyconfessingthatafeelingofpity,inconjunctionwiththewinehehaddrunk,hadbeentoomuchforhim;thathehadsuccumbedtoAnna’sartfulinfluence,andthathewouldavoidher。OnethinghedidwithmoresincerityconfesstowasthatlivingsolonginMoscow,alifeofnothingbutconversation,eatinganddrinking,hewasgrowingcrazy。Theytalkedtillthreeo’clockinthemorning。Onlyatthreeo’clockweretheysufficientlyreconciledtobeabletogotosleep。
Aftertakingleaveofherguests,Annadidnotsitdown,butbeganwalkingupanddowntheroom。ShehadunconsciouslythewholeeveningdoneherutmosttoarouseinLevinafeelingoflove-asoflateshehadfallenintodoingwithallyoungmen-andsheknewshehadattainedheraim,asfaraswaspossibleinoneevening,withamarriedandconscientiousman。Shelikedhimverymuchindeed,and,inspiteofthestrikingdifference,fromthemasculinepointofview,betweenVronskyandLevin,asawomanshesawsomethingtheyhadincommon,whichhadmadeKittyabletoloveboth。Yetassoonashewasoutoftheroom,sheceasedtothinkofhim。
Onethought,andoneonly,pursuedherindifferentforms,andrefusedtobeshakenoff。`IfIhavesomucheffectonothers,onthisman,wholoveshishomeandhiswife,whyisitheissocoldtome?……Notcoldexactly-helovesme,Iknowthat!Butsomethingnewisdrawingusapartnow。Whywasn’theherealltheevening?HetoldStivatosayhecouldnotleaveIashvin,andmustwatchoverhisplay。IsIashvinachild?Butsupposingit’strue。Henevertellsahe。Butthere’ssomethingelseinitifit’strue。Heisgladofanopportunityofshowingmethathehasotherduties;Iknowthat,Isubmittothat。Butwhyprovethattome?Hewantstoshowmethathisloveformeisnottointerferewithhisfreedom。ButIneednoproofs-Ineedlove。HeoughttounderstandallthebitternessofthislifeformehereinMoscow。Isthislife?Iamnotliving,butwaitingforanevent,whichiscontinuallyputoffandputoff。Noansweragain!AndStivasayshecannotgotoAlexeiAlexandrovich。AndIcan’twriteagain。Icandonothing,canbeginnothing,canalternothing;Iholdmyselfin,Iwait,inventingamusementsformyself-theEnglishfamily,writing,reading-butit’sallnothingbutasham,it’sallthesameasmorphine。Heoughttofeelforme,’shesaid,feelingtearsofself-pitycomingintohereyes。
SheheardVronsky’sabruptringandhurriedlydriedhertears-notonlydriedhertears,butsatdownbyalampandopenedabook,affectingcomposure。Shewantedtoshowhimthatshewasdispleasedthathehadnotcomehomeashehadpromised-displeasedonly,andnotonanyaccounttolethimseeherdistress,and,leastofall,herself-pity。Shemightpityherself,buthemustnotpityher。Shedidnotwantstrife,sheblamedhimforwantingtoquarrel,butunconsciouslyputherselfintoanattitudeofantagonism。
`Well,you’venotbeendull?’hesaid,eagerlyandgood-humoredly,goinguptoher。`Whataterriblepassionitis-gambling!’
`No,I’venotbeendull;I’velearnedlongagonottobedull。Stivahasbeenhere,andLevin。’
`Yes,theymeanttocomeandseeyou。Well,howdidyoulikeLevin?’hesaid,sittingdownbesideher。
`Verymuch。Theyhavenotbeengonelong。WhatwasIashvindoing?’
`Hewaswinning-seventeenthousand。Igothimaway。Hehadreallystartedhome,buthewentbackagain,andnowhe’slosing。’
`Thenwhatdidyoustayfor?’sheasked,suddenlyliftinghereyestohim。Theexpressionofherfacewascoldandungracious。`YoutoldStivayouwerestayingontogetIashvinaway。Andyouhavelefthimthere。’
Thesameexpressionofcoldreadinessfortheconflictappearedonhisfacetoo。
`Inthefirstplace,Ididnotaskhimtogiveyouanymessage;andsecondly,Inevertelllies。Butthechiefpointis,Iwantedtostay,andIstayed,’hesaid,frowning。`Anna,whatisitfor,whywillyoudothis?’hesaidafteramoment’ssilence,bendingovertowardher;andheopenedhishand,hopingshewouldlayhersinit。
Shewasgladofthisappealfortenderness。Butsomestrangeforceofevilwouldnotlethergiveherselfuptoherfeelings,asthoughtherulesofwarfarewouldnotpermithertosurrender。
`Ofcourseyouwantedtostay,andyoustayed。Youdoeverythingyouwantto。Butwhatdoyoutellmethatfor?Withwhatobject?’shesaid,gettingmoreandmoreexcited。`Doesanyonecontestyourrights?Butyouwanttoberight,andyou’rewelcometoberight。’
Hishandclosed,heturnedaway,andhisfaceworeastillmoreobstinateexpression。
`Foryouit’samatterofobstinacy,’shesaid,watchinghimintentlyandsuddenlyfindingtherightwordforthatexpressionthatirritatedher,`simplyobstinacy。Foryouit’saquestionofwhetheryoukeeptheupperhandofme,whileforme……’Againshefeltsorryforherself,andshealmostburstintotears。`Ifyouknewwhatitisforme!WhenIfeelasIdonow,thatyouarehostile-yes,hostiletome-ifyouknewwhatthismeansforme!IfyouknewhowIfeelonthebrinkofcalamityatthisinstant,howafraidIamofmyself!’Andsheturnedaway,hidinghersobs。
`Butwhatareyoutalkingabout?’hesaid,horrifiedatherexpressionofdespairandagainbendingoverher,hetookherhandandkissedit。`Whatisitfor?DoIseekamusementsoutsideourhome?Don’tIavoidthesocietyofwomen?’
`Well,yes!Ifthatwereall!’shesaid。
`Come,tellmewhatIoughttodotogiveyoupeaceofmind?Iamreadytodoanythingtomakeyouhappy,’hesaid,touchedbyherexpressionofdespair;`whatwouldn’tIdotosaveyoufromdistressofanysort,asnow,Anna!’hesaid。
`It’snothing,nothing!’shesaid。`Idon’tknowmyselfwhetherit’sthesolitarylife,mynerves……Come,don’tletustalkofit。Whatabouttherace?Youhaven’ttoldme!’sheinquired,tryingtoconcealhertriumphatthevictory,whichhadbeenonhersideafterall。
Heaskedforsupper,andbegantellingherabouttheraces;butinhistone,inhiseyes,whichbecamemoreandmorecold,shesawthathedidnotforgiveherforhervictory,thatthefeelingofobstinacywithwhichshehadbeenstrugglinghadasserteditselfagaininhim。Hewascoldertoherthanbefore,asthoughhewereregrettinghissurrender。Andshe,rememberingthewordsthathadgivenherthevictory,`howIfeelonthebrinkofcalamity,howafraidIamofmyself,’sawthatthisweaponwasadangerousone,andthatitcouldnotbeusedasecondtime。Andshefeltthatbesidethelovethatboundthemtogethertherehadgrownupbetweenthemsomeevilspiritofstrife,whichshecouldnotexorcisefromhisheart,andstilllessfromherown。
Therearenoconditionstowhichamancannotbecomeused,especiallyifheseesthatallaroundhimarelivinginthesameway。Levincouldnothavebelievedthreemonthsbeforethathecouldhavegonequietlytosleepinthestateinwhichhewasthatday-thatleadinganaimless,irrationallife,alsolivingbeyondhismeans,afterdrinkingtoexcesshecouldnotcallwhathappenedattheclubanythingelse,forminginappropriatelyfriendlyrelationswithamanwithwhomhiswifehadoncebeeninlove,andafterastillmoreinappropriatecalluponawomanwhocouldonlybecalledalostwoman,afterbeingfascinatedbythatwomanandcausinghiswifedistress-hecouldstillgoquietlytosleep。Butundertheinfluenceoffatigue,asleeplessnight,andthewinehehaddrunk,hissleepwassoundanduntroubled。
Atfiveo’clockthecreakofadooropeningwakedhim。Hejumpedupandlookedround。Kittywasnotinbedbesidehim。Buttherewasalightmovingbehindthescreen,andheheardhersteps。
`Whatisit?……Whatisit?’hesaid,half-asleep。`Kitty!Whatisit?’
`Nothing,’shesaid,comingfrombehindthescreenwithacandleinherhand。`Ifeltunwell,’shesaid,smilingaparticularlysweetandmeaningsmile。
`What?Hasitbegun?’hesaidinterror。`Weoughttosend……’andhurriedlyhereachedafterhisclothes。
`No,no,’shesaid,smilingandholdinghishand。`It’ssuretobenothing。Iwasratherunwell,onlyalittle。It’sallovernow。’
And,gettingintobed,sheblewoutthecandle,laydownandwasstill。Thoughhethoughtherstillnesssuspicious,asthoughshewereholdingherbreath,andstillmoresuspicioustheexpressionofpeculiartendernessandexcitementwithwhich,asshecamefrombehindthescreen,shehadsaid`Nothing,’hewassosleepythathefellasleepatonce。Onlylaterherememberedthestillnessofherbreathing,andunderstoodallthatmusthavebeenpassinginhersweet,preciousheartwhileshelaybesidehim,notstirring,inanticipationofthegreatesteventinawoman’slife。Atseveno’clockhewaswakedbythetouchofherhandonhisshoulder,andagentlewhisper。Sheseemedstrugglingbetweenregretatwakinghim,andthedesiretotalktohim。
`Kostia,don’tbefrightened。It’sallright。ButIfancy……WeoughttosendforLizavetaPetrovna。’
Thecandlewaslightedagain。Shewassittingupinbed,holdingsomeknitting,whichshehadbeenbusyuponduringthelastfewdays。
`Please,don’tbefrightened,it’sallright。I’mnotabitafraid,’shesaid,seeinghisscaredface,andshepressedhishandtoherbosomandthentoherlips。
Hehurriedlyjumpedup,hardlyawake,andkepthiseyesfixedonher,asheputonhisdressinggown;thenhestopped,stilllookingather。Hehadtogo,buthecouldnottearhimselfawayfromhereyes。Hethoughthelovedherface,knewherexpression,hereyes,butneverhadheseenitlikethis。Howhatefulandhorribleheseemedtohimself,thinkingofthedistresshehadcausedheryesterday。Herflushedface,fringedwithsoftcurlinghairunderhernightcap,wasradiantwithjoyandcourage。
ThoughtherewassolittlethatwasartificialorpretendedinKitty’scharacteringeneral,Levinwasstruckbywhatwasrevealednow,whensuddenlyalldisguiseswerethrownoffandtheverykernelofhersoulshoneinhereyes。Andinthissimplicityandnakednessofhersoul,she,theverywomanhelovedinher,wasmoremanifestthanever。Shelookedathim,smiling;butallatonceherbrowstwitched,shethrewupherhead,and,goingquicklyuptohim,clutchedhishandandpressedcloseuptohim,breathingherhotbreathuponhim。Shewasinpainandwas,asitwere,complainingtohimofhersuffering。Andforthefirstminute,fromhabit,itseemedtohimthathewastoblame。Butinhereyestherewasatendernessthattoldhimthatshewasfarfromreproachinghim,thatshelovedhimforhersufferings。`IfnotI,whoistoblameforit?’hethoughtunconsciously,seekingsomeoneresponsibleforthissufferingforhimtopunish;buttherewasnooneresponsible。Shewassuffering,complaining,andtriumphinginhersufferings,andrejoicinginthem,andlovingthem。Hesawthatsomethingsublimewasbeingaccomplishedinhersoul,butwhat?Hecouldnotmakeitout。Itwasbeyondhisunderstanding。
`Ihavesenttomamma。YougoquicklytofetchLizavetaPetrovna……Kostia!……Nevermind-it’sover。’
Shemovedawayfromhimandrangthebell。
`Well,gonow;Pasha’scoming。Iamallright。’
AndLevinsawwithastonishmentthatshehadtakenuptheknittingshehadbroughtininthenight,andhadbegunworkingatitagain。
AsLevinwasgoingoutofonedoor,heheardthemaidservantcomeinattheother。HestoodatthedoorandheardKittygivingexactdirectionstothemaid,andbeginningtohelphermovethebedstead。
Hedressed,andwhiletheywereputtinginhishorse,astherewerenohacksaboutasyet,heranagainuptothebedroom,notontiptoe,itseemedtohim,butonwings。Twomaidservantswerecarefullyshiftingsomethingaboutinthebedroom。Kittywaswalkingaboutknittingrapidlyandgivingdirections。
`I’mgoingforthedoctor。TheyhavesentforLizavetaPetrovna,butI’llgoontheretoo。Isn’tthereanythingwanted?Yes-shallIgotoDolly’s?’
Shelookedathim,obviouslynothearingwhathewassaying。
`Yes,yes。Dogo,’shesaidquickly,frowningandwavingherhandtohim。
Hehadjustgoneintothedrawingroom,whensuddenlyaplaintivemoansoundedfromthebedroom,smotheredinstantly。Hestoodstill,andforalongwhilehecouldnotunderstand。
`Yes,thatisshe,’hesaidtohimself,and,clutchingathishead,herandownstairs。
`Lordhavemercyonus!Forgiveus!Helpus!’herepeatedthewordsthatforsomereasoncamesuddenlytohislips。Andhe,anunbeliever,repeatedthesewordsnotwithhislipsonly。Atthatinstantheknewthatallhisdoubts,eventheimpossibilityofbelievingwithhisreason,ofwhichhewasawareinhimself,didnotintheleasthinderhisturningtoGod。Allofthatnowfloatedoutofhissoullikedust。TowhomwashetoturnifnottoHiminwhosehandshefelthimself,hissoul,andhislove?
Thehorsewasnotyetready,butfeelingapeculiarconcentrationofhisphysicalforcesandhisintellectonwhathehadtodo,he,losingnominute,startedoffonfootwithoutwaitingforthehorse,andtoldKouzmatoovertakehim。
Atthecornerhemetanighthackdrivinghurriedly。Inthelittlesleigh,wrappedinavelvetcloak,satLizavetaPetrovnawithakerchiefroundherhead。`ThankGod!thankGod!’hesaid,overjoyedtorecognizeherlittlefairfacewhichworeapeculiarlyserious,evensternexpression。Tellingthedrivernottostop,heranalongbesideher。
`Fortwohours,then?Notmore?’sheinquired。`YoushouldletPiotrDmitrievichknow,butdon’thurryhim。Andgetsomeopiumatthechemist’s。’
`Soyouthinkthatitwillgowell?Lordhavemercyonusandhelpus!’Levinsaid,seeinghisownhorsedrivingoutofthegate。JumpingintothesleighbesideKouzma,hetoldhimtodrivetothedoctor’s。
Thedoctorwasnotyetup,andthefootmansaidthat`hehadbeenuplate,andhadgivenordersnottobewaked,butwouldgetupsoon。’Thefootmanwascleaningthelampchimneys,andseemedverybusyaboutthem。Thisconcentrationofthefootmanuponhislamps,andhisindifferencetowhatwaspassinginLevin,atfirstastoundedhim,butimmediatelyonconsideringthequestionherealizedthatnoonekneworwasboundtoknowhisfeelings,andthatitwasallthemorenecessarytoactcalmly,sensibly,andresolutelytogetthroughthiswallofindifferenceandattainhisaim。`Don’tbeinahurryorletanythingslip,’Levinsaidtohimself,feelingagreaterandgreaterflowofphysicalenergyandattentiontoallhehadyettodo。
Havingascertainedthatthedoctorwasnotgettingup,Levinconsideredvariousplans,anddecidedonthefollowingone;thatKouzmashouldgoforanotherdoctor,whilehehimselfshouldgotothechemist’sforopium,andif,whenhecameback,thedoctorhadnotyetbeguntogetup,hewould,eitherbytippingthefootman,orbyforce,wakethedoctoratallhazards。
Atthechemist’sthelankpharmacistwaferedapacketofpowdersforacoachmanwhostoodwaiting,andrefusedhimopiumwiththesamecallousnesswithwhichthedoctor’sfootmanhadcleanedhislampchimneys。Tryingnottogetflusteredoroutoftemper,Levinmentionedthenamesofthedoctorandmidwife,andexplainingwhattheopiumwasneededfor,triedtopersuadehim。TheassistantinquiredinGermanwhetherheshouldgiveit,andreceivinganaffirmativereplyfrombehindthepartition,hetookoutabottleandafunnel,deliberatelypouredtheopiumfromabiggerbottleintoalittleone,stuckonalabel,sealeditup,inspiteofLevin’srequestthathewouldnotdoso,andwasabouttowrapituptoo。ThiswasmorethanLevincouldstand;hetookthebottlefirmlyoutofhishands,andrantothebigglassdoors。Thedoctorwasnotevennowgettingup,andthefootman,busynowinputtingdowntherugs,refusedtowakehim。Levindeliberatelytookoutaten-roublenote,andcarefultospeakslowly,thoughlosingnotimeoverthebusiness,hehandedhimthenote,andexplainedthatPiotrDmitrievichwhatagreatandimportantpersonageheseemedtoLevinnow,thisPiotrDmitrievich,whohadbeenofsolittleconsequenceinhiseyesbeforehadpromisedtocomeatanytime;thathewouldcertainlynotbeangry!Andthathemustthereforewakehimatonce。
Thefootmanagreed,andwentupstairs,takingLevinintothewaitingroom。
Levincouldhearthroughthedoorthedoctorcoughing,movingabout,washing,andsayingsomething。Threeminutespassed;itseemedtoLevinthatmorethananhourhadgoneby。Hecouldnotwaitanylonger。
`PiotrDmitrievich,PiotrDmitrievich?’hesaidinanimploringvoiceattheopendoor。`ForGod’ssake,forgiveme!Seemeasyouare。It’sbeengoingonmorethantwohoursalready。’
`Inaminute;inaminute!’answeredavoice,andtohisamazementheardthatthedoctorwassmilingashespoke。
`Foroneinstant!’……
`Inaminute。’
Twominutesmorepassedwhilethedoctorwasputtingonhisboots,andtwominutesmorewhilethedoctorputonhiscoatandcombedhishair。
`PiotrDmitrievich!’Levinwasbeginningagaininaplaintivevoice,justasthedoctorcamein,dressedandready。`Thesepeoplehavenoconscience,’thoughtLevin。`Combinghishair,whilewe’redying!’
`Goodmorning!’thedoctorsaidtohim,shakinghands,and,asitwere,teasinghimwithhiscomposure。`There’snohurry。Well,now?’
Tryingtobeasaccurateaspossible,Levinbegantotellhimeveryunnecessarydetailofhiswife’scondition,interruptinghisaccountrepeatedlywithentreatiesthatthedoctorwouldcomewithhimatonce。
`Oh,youneedn’tbeinanyhurry。Youdon’tunderstand,youknow。I’mcertainI’mnotwanted;stillI’vepromised,and,ifyoulike,I’llcome。Butthere’snohurry。Pleasesitdown;won’tyouhavesomecoffee?’
Levinstaredathimwitheyesthataskedwhetherhewaslaughingathim;butthedoctorhadnonotionofmakingfunofhim。
`Iknow,Iknow,’thedoctorsaid,smiling;`I’mamarriedmanmyself;andatthesemomentswehusbandsareverymuchtobepitied。I’veapatientwhosehusbandalwaystakesrefugeinthestablesonsuchoccasions。’
`Butwhatdoyouthink,PiotrDmitrievich?Doyousupposeitwillgoallright?’
`Everythingpointstoafavorableissue。’
`Soyou’llcomeimmediately?’saidLevin,lookingwrathfullyattheservantwhowasbringinginthecoffee。
`Injustanhour。’
`Oh,forGod’ssake!’
`Well,letmedrinkmycoffee,anyway。’
Thedoctorstarteduponhiscoffee。Bothweresilent。
`TheTurksarereallygettingbeaten,though。Didyoureadyesterday’stelegrams?’saidthedoctor,thoroughlymasticatingaroll。
`No,Ican’tstandit!’saidLevin,jumpingup。`Soyou’llbewithusinaquarterofanhour?’
`Inhalfanhour。’
`Onyourhonor?’
WhenLevingothome,hedroveupatthesametimeasthePrincess,andtheywentuptothebedroomtogether。ThePrincesshadtearsinhereyes,andherhandswereshaking。SeeingLevin,sheembracedhim,andburstintotears。
`Well,mydearLizavetaPetrovna?’shequeried,claspingthehandofthemidwife,whocameouttomeetthemwithabeamingandanxiousface。
`Everythingisgoingonwell,’shesaid;`persuadehertoliedown。Shewillfeeleasierthatway。’
Fromthemomentwhenhehadwakedupandunderstoodwhatwasgoingon,Levinhadpreparedhismindtobearresolutelywhatwasbeforehim,andwithoutconsideringoranticipatinganything,toavoidupsettinghiswife,and,onthecontrary,tosootheherandkeepuphercourage。Withoutallowinghimselfeventothinkofwhatwastocome,ofhowitwouldend,judgingfromhisinquiriesastotheusualdurationoftheseordeals,Levinhadinhisimaginationbracedhimselftobearupandtokeepatightreinonhisfeelingsforfivehours,andithadseemedtohimhecoulddothis。Butwhenhecamebackfromthedoctor’sandsawhersufferingsagain,hefelltorepeatingmoreandmorefrequently:`Lord,havemercyonus,andsuccorus!’Hesighed,andflunghisheadup,andbegantofeelafraidhecouldnotbearit,thathewouldburstintotearsorrunaway-suchagonyitwastohim。Yetonlyonehourhadpassed。
Butafterthathourtherepassedanotherhour,twohours,three,thefullfivehourshehadfixedasthefurthestlimitofhissufferings,andthesituationwasstillunchanged;andhewasstillbearingitbecausetherewasnothingtobedonebutbearit-everyinstantfeelingthathehadreachedtheutmostlimitsofhisendurance,andthathisheartwouldbreakwithsympathyandpain。
Butstilltheminutespassedby,andthehours,andstillmorehours,andhismiseryandhorrorgrewandweremoreandmoreintense。
Alltheordinaryconditionsoflife,withoutwhichonecanformnoconceptionofanything,hadceasedtoexistforLevin。Helostallsenseoftime。Minutes-thoseminuteswhenshesentforhimandheheldhermoisthand,thatwouldsqueezehishandwithextraordinaryviolenceandthenpushitaway-seemedtohimhours,andhoursseemedtohimminutes。HewassurprisedwhenLizavetaPetrovnaaskedhimtolightacandlebehindascreen,andhefoundthatitwasfiveo’clockintheafternoon。Ifhehadbeentolditwasonlyteno’clockinthemorninghewouldnothavebeensurprised。Wherehewasallthistime,heknewaslittleasthetimeofanything。Hesawherswollenface,sometimesbewilderedandinagony,sometimessmilingandtryingtoreassurehim。HesawtheoldPrincesstoo,flushedandoverwrought,withhergraycurlsindisorder,forcingherselftogulpdownhertears,bitingherlips;hesawDollytoo,andthedoctor,smokingthickcigarettes,andLizavetaPetrovnawithafirm,resolute,reassuringface,andtheoldPrincewalkingupanddownthehallwithafrowningface。Butwhytheycameinandwentout,wheretheywere,hedidnotknow。ThePrincesswaswiththedoctorinthebedroom,theninthestudy,whereatablesetfordinnersuddenlyappeared;thenshewasnotthere,butDollywas。ThenLevinrememberedhehadbeensentsomewhere。Oncehehadbeensenttomoveatableandsofa。Hehaddonethiseagerly,thinkingithadtobedoneforhersake,andonlylateronhefounditwashisownbedhehadbeengettingready。Thenhehadbeensenttothestudytoaskthedoctorsomething。Thedoctorhadansweredandthenhadsaidsomethingabouttheirregularitiesinthemunicipalcouncil。ThenhehadbeensenttothebedroomtohelptheoldPrincessmovetheholyimageinitssilver-giltsetting,andwiththePrincess’soldwaitingmaidhehadclamberedonashelftoreachitandhadbrokenthelampad,andtheoldservanthadtriedtoreassurehimaboutthelampadandabouthiswife,andhecarriedtheholyimageinandsetitattheheadofKitty’sbed,carefullytuckingtheimageinbehindthepillow。Butwhere,when,andwhyallthishadhappened,hecouldnottell。HedidnotunderstandwhytheoldPrincesstookhishand,andlookingcompassionatelyathim,beggedhimnottoworryhimself,andDollypersuadedhimtoeatsomethingandledhimoutoftheroom,andeventhedoctorlookedseriouslyandwithcommiserationathim,andofferedhimadropofsomething。
AllheknewandfeltwasthatwhatwashappeningwaswhathadhappenednearlyayearbeforeinthehotelofthecountrytownatthedeathbedofhisbrotherNikolai。Butthathadbeengrief-thiswasjoy。Yetthatgriefandthisjoywerealikeoutsidealltheordinaryconditionsoflife;theywereloopholes,asitwere,inthatordinarylife,throughwhichtherecameglimpsesofsomethingsublime。Andinthecontemplationofthissublimesomethingthesoulwasexaltedtoinconceivableheightsofwhichithadbeforehadnoconception,whilereasonlaggedbehind,unabletokeepupwithit。
`Lord,havemercyonus,andsuccorus!’herepeatedtohimselfincessantly,feeling,inspiteofhislongand,asitseemed,completealienationfromreligion,thatheturnedtoGodjustastrustfullyandsimplyashehadinhischildhoodandfirstyouth。
Allthistimehehadtwodistinctmoods。Onewasawayfromher,withthedoctor,whokeptsmokingonethickcigaretteafteranotherandextinguishingthemontheedgeofafullashtray;withDolly,andwiththeoldPrince,wheretherewastalkaboutdinner,aboutpolitics,aboutMariaPetrovna’sillness,andwhereLevinsuddenlyforgotforaminutewhatwashappening,andfeltasthoughhehadwakedupfromsleep;theothermoodwasinherpresence,atherpillow,wherehisheartseemedbreaking,andstilldidnotbreak,fromsympatheticsuffering,andheprayedtoGodwithoutceasing。Andeverytimehewasbroughtbackfromamomentofoblivionbyascreamreachinghimfromthebedroom,hefellintothesamestrangeterrorthathadcomeuponhimthefirstminute。Everytimeheheardashriek,hejumpedup,rantojustifyhimself,rememberedonthewaythathewasnottoblame,andhelongedtodefendher,tohelpher。Butashelookedather,hesawagainthathelpwasimpossible,andhewasfilledwithterrorandprayed:`Lord,havemercyonus,andhelpus!’Andastimewenton,boththesemoodsbecamemoreintense;thecalmerhebecameawayfromher,completelyforgettingher,themoreagonizingbecamebothhersufferingsandhisfeelingofhelplessnessbeforethem。Hejumpedup,wouldhavelikedtorunaway,butrantoher。
Sometimes,whenagainandagainshecalleduponhim,heblamedher;butseeinghersubmissive,smilingface,andhearingthewords`Iamworryingyou,’hethrewtheblameonGod;butthinkingofGod,atoncehefellbeseechingGodtoforgivehimandhavemercy。
Hedidnotknowwhetheritwaslateorearly。Thecandleshadallburnedout。Dollyhadjustbeeninthestudyandhadsuggestedtothedoctorthatheshouldliedown。Levinsatlisteningtothedoctor’sstoriesofaquackmesmerizerandlookingattheashesofhiscigarette。Therehadbeenaperiodofrepose,andhehadsunkintooblivion。Hehadcompletelyforgottenwhatwasgoingonnow。Heheardthedoctor’schatandunderstoodit。Suddenlytherecameanunearthlyshriek。TheshriekwassoawfulthatLevindidnotevenjumpup,but,holdinghisbreath,gazedinterrifiedinquiryatthedoctor。Thedoctorputhisheadononeside,listened,andsmiledapprovingly。EverythingwassoextraordinarythatnothingcouldstrikeLevinasstrange。`Isupposeitmustbeso,’hethought,andstillsatwherehewas。Whosescreamwasthis?Hejumpedup,ranontiptoetothebedroom,edgedroundLizavetaPetrovnaandthePrincess,andtookuphispositionatKitty’spillow。Thescreamhadsubsided,buttherewassomechangenow。Whatitwashedidnotseeanddidnotcomprehend,andhehadnowishtoseeorcomprehend。ButhesawitbythefaceofLizavetaPetrovna。LizavetaPetrovna’sfacewassternandpale,andstillasresolute,thoughherjawsweretwitching,andhereyeswerefixedintentlyonKitty。Kitty’sswollenandagonizedface,atressofhairclingingtohermoistbrow,wasturnedtohimandsoughthiseyes。Herliftedhandsaskedforhishands。Clutchinghischillhandsinhermoistones,shebegansqueezingthemtoherface。
`Don’tgo,don’tgo!I’mnotafraid,I’mnotafraid!’shesaidrapidly。`Mamma,takemyearrings。Theybotherme。You’renotafraid?Soon,soon,LizavetaPetrovna……’
Shespokequickly,veryquickly,andtriedtosmile。Butsuddenlyherfacewasdrawn-shepushedhimaway。
`Oh,thisisawful!I’mdying,I’mdying!Goaway!’sheshrieked,andagainheheardthatunearthlyscream。
Levinclutchedathisheadandranoutoftheroom。
`It’snothing,it’snothing,it’sallright,’Dollycalledafterhim。
Buttheymightsaywhattheyliked,heknewnowthatallwasover。Hestoodinthenextroom,hisheadleaningagainstthedoorpost,andheardshrieks,howls,suchashehadneverheardbefore,andheknewthatwhathadbeenKittywasutteringtheseshrieks。Hehadlongagoceasedtowishforthechild。Bynowheloathedthischild。Hedidnotevenprayforherlifenow-allhelongedforwasthecessationofthisawfulanguish。
`Doctor!Whatisit?Whatisit?MyGod!’hesaid,snatchingatthedoctor’shandashecameup。
`It’stheend,’saidthedoctor。Andthedoctor’sfacewassograveashesaiditthatLevintooktheendasmeaningherdeath。
Besidehimself,heranintothebedroom。ThefirstthinghesawwasthefaceofLizavetaPetrovna。Itwasevenmorefrowningandstern。Kitty’sfacehedidnotknow。Intheplacewhereithadbeenwassomethingthatwasfearfulinitsstraineddistortionandinthesoundsthatcamefromit。Hefelldownwithhisheadonthewoodenframeworkofthebed,feelingthathisheartwasbursting。Theawfulscreamneverpaused,itbecamestillmoreawful,andasthoughithadreachedtheutmostlimitofterror,suddenlyitceased。Levincouldnotbelievehisears,buttherecouldbenodoubt;thescreamhadceasedandheheardasubduedstirandbustle,andhurriedbreathing,andhervoice,gasping,alive,tender,andblissful,utteredsoftly:`It’sover!’
Heliftedhishead。Withherhandshangingexhaustedonthequilt,lookingextraordinarilylovelyandserene,shelookedathiminsilenceandtriedtosmile,andcouldnot。
Andsuddenly,fromthemysteriousandawfulfarawayworldinwhichhehadbeenlivingforthelasttwenty-twohours,Levinfelthimselfallinaninstantbornebacktotheoldeverydayworld,thoughglorifiednowbysucharadianceofhappinessthathecouldnotbearit。Thestrainedchordssnapped;sobsandtearsofjoywhichhehadneverforeseenroseupwithsuchviolencethathiswholebodyshook,andforlongtheypreventedhimfromspeaking。
Fallingonhiskneesbeforethebed,heheldhiswife’shandbeforehislipsandkissedit,andthehand,withaweakmovementofthefingers,respondedtohiskiss。Andmeanwhile,thereatthefootofthebed,inthedefthandsofLizavetaPetrovna,likeaflickeringlightinalamp,laythelifeofahumancreature,whichhadneverexistedbefore,andwhichwouldnowwiththesameright,withthesameimportancetoitself,liveandcreateinitsownimage。
`Alive!alive!Andaboytoo!Setyourmindatrest!’LevinheardLizavetaPetrovnasaying,assheslappedthebaby’sbackwithashakinghand。
`Mamma,isittrue?’saidKitty’svoice。
ThePrincess’ssobswerealltheanswershecouldmake。
Andinthemidstofthesilencetherecameinunmistakablereplytothemother’squestion,avoicequiteunlikethesubduedvoicesspeakingintheroom。Itwasthebold,clamorous,self-assertivesquallofthenewhumanbeing,whichhadsoincomprehensiblyappeared。
IfLevinhadbeentoldbeforethatKittywasdead,andthathehaddiedwithher,andthattheirchildrenwereangels,andthatGodwasstandingbeforehim,hewouldhavebeensurprisedatnothing。Butnow,comingbacktotheworldofreality,hehadtomakegreatmentaleffortstotakeinthatshewasaliveandwell,andthatthecreaturesquallingsodesperatelywashisson。Kittywasalive,heragonywasover。Andhewasunutterablyhappy。Thatheunderstood;andhewascompletelyhappyinit。Butthebaby?Whence,why,whowashe?……Hecouldnotgetusedtotheidea。Itseemedtohimsomethingextraneous,superfluous,towhichhecouldnotaccustomhimself。
Atteno’clocktheoldPrince,SergeiIvanovich,andStepanArkadyevich,weresittingatLevin’s。HavinginquiredafterKitty,theyhaddroppedintoconversationuponothersubjects。Levinheardthem,andunconsciously,astheytalked,goingoverthepast,overwhattheyhadbeenuptothatmorning,hethoughtofhimselfashehadbeenyesterdaytillthatpoint。Itwasasthoughahundredyearshadpassedsincethen。Hefelthimselfexaltedtounattainableheights,fromwhichhestudiouslyloweredhimselfsoasnottowoundthepeoplehewastalkingto。Hetalked,andwasallthetimethinkingofhiswife,ofherpresentcondition,ofhisson,inwhoseexistencehetriedtoschoolhimselfintobelieving。Thewholeworldofwoman,whichhadtakenforhimsincehismarriageanewvaluehehadneversuspectedbefore,wasnowsoexaltedthathisimaginationcouldnotembraceit。Heheardthemtalkofyesterday’sdinnerattheclub,andthought:`Whatishappeningwithhernow?Issheasleep?Howisshe?Whatisshethinkingof?Ishecrying-mysonDmitrii?’Andinthemiddleoftheconversation,inthemiddleofasentence,hejumpedupandwentoutoftheroom。
`SendmewordifIcanseeher,’saidthePrince。
`Verywell,inaminute,’answeredLevin,andwithoutstopping,hewenttoherroom。
Shewasnotasleep,shewastalkinggentlywithhermother,makingplansaboutthechristening。
Carefullysettorights,withhairwellbrushed,inasmartlittlecapwithsomeblueinit,herarmsoutonthequilt,shewaslyingonherback。Meetinghiseyes,hereyesdrewhimtoher。Herface,brightbefore,brightenedstillmoreashedrewnearher。Therewasthesamechangeinitfromearthlytounearthlythatisseeninthefaceofthedead。Butthereitmeansfarewell-hereitmeantwelcome。Againarushofemotion,suchashehadfeltatthemomentofthechild’sbirth,floodedhisheart。Shetookhishandandaskedhimifhehadslept。Hecouldnotanswer,andturnedaway,realizinghisweakness。
`Ihavehadanap,Kostia!’shesaidtohim。`AndIamsocomfortablenow。’
Shelookedathim,butsuddenlyherexpressionchanged。
`Givehimtome,’shesaid,hearingthebaby’scry。`Givehimtome,LizavetaPetrovna,andheshalllookathim。’
`Tobesure,hispapashalllookathim,’saidLizavetaPetrovna,gettingupandbringingsomethingred,andqueerandwriggling。`Waitaminute,we’llarrayourselvesfirst,’andLizavetaPetrovnalaidtheredwobblingthingonthebed,beganuntrussingandtrussingupthebaby,liftingitupandturningitoverwithonefingerandpowderingitwithsomething。
Levin,lookingatthetiny,pitifulcreature,madestrenuouseffortstodiscoverinhisheartsometracesoffatherlyfeelingforit。Hefeltnothingtowarditbutdisgust。Butwhenitwasundressedandhecaughtaglimpseofwee,wee,littlehands,littlefeet,saffron-colored,withlittletoes,too;andevenwithalittlebigtoedifferentfromtherest,andwhenhesawLizavetaPetrovnaclosingthewide-openlittlehands,asthoughtheyweresoftsprings,andputtingthemintolinengarments,suchpityforthelittlecreaturecameuponhim,andsuchterrorthatshewouldhurtit,thatheheldherhandback。
LizavetaPetrovnalaughed。
`Don’tbefrightened,don’tbefrightened!’
Whenthebabyhadbeenarrayedandtransformedintoasoliddoll,LizavetaPetrovnadandleditasthoughproudofherhandiwork,andstoodalittleawaysothatLevinmightseehissoninallhisglory。
Kittylookedsidewaysinthesamedirection,nevertakinghereyesoffthebaby。`Givehimtome!Givehimtome!’shesaid,andevenmadeasthoughshewouldsitup。
`Whatareyouthinkingof,KaterinaAlexandrovna,youmustn’tmovelikethat!Waitaminute。I’llgivehimtoyou。Herewe’reshowingpapawhatafinefellowweare!’
AndLizavetaPetrovna,withonehandsupportingthewobblinghead,liftedupontheotherarmthestrange,limp,redcreature,whoseheadwaslostinitsswaddlingclothes。Butithadanose,too,andslantingeyes,andsmackinglips。
`Asplendidbaby!’saidLizavetaPetrovna。
Levinsighedwithmortification。Thissplendidbabyexcitedinhimnofeelingbutdisgustandcompassion。Itwasnotatallthefeelinghehadlookedforwardto。
HeturnedawaywhileLizavetaPetrovnaputthebabytotheunaccustomedbreast。
Suddenlylaughtermadehimlookround。Thebabyhadtakenthebreast。
`Comethat’senough,that’senough!’saidLizavetaPetrovna,butKittywouldnotletthebabygo。Hefellasleepinherarms。
`Look,now,’saidKitty,turningthebabysothathecouldseeit。Theaged-lookinglittlefacesuddenlypuckeredupstillmore,andthebabysneezed。
Smiling,hardlyabletorestrainhistears,Levinkissedhiswifeandwentoutofthedarkroom。
Whathefelttowardthislittlecreaturewasutterlyunlikewhathehadexpected。Therewasnothingcheerfulandjoyousinthefeeling;onthecontrary,itwasanewtortureofapprehension。Itwastheconsciousnessofanewsphereofliabilitytopain。Andthissensewassopainfulatfirst,theapprehensionlestthishelplesscreatureshouldsufferwassointense,thatitpreventedhimfromnoticingthestrangethrillofsenselessjoyandevenpridethathehadfeltwhenthebabyhadsneezed。
StepanArkadyevich’saffairswereinaverybadway。
Themoneyfortwo-thirdsoftheforesthadallbeenspentalready,andhehadborrowedfromthemerchantinadvanceattenpercentdiscountalmostalltheremainingthird。Themerchantwouldnotgivemore,especiallyasDaryaAlexandrovna,forthefirsttimethatwinterinsistingonherrighttoherownproperty,hadrefusedtosignthereceiptforthepaymentofthelastthirdoftheforest。Allhissalarywentonhouseholdexpensesandinpaymentofpettydebtsthatcouldnotbeputoff。Therewaspositivelynomoney。
Thiswasunpleasantandawkward,andinStepanArkadyevich’sopinionthingscouldnotgoonlikethis。Theexplanationofthepositionwas,inhisview,tobefoundinthefactthathissalarywastoosmall。Theposthefilledhadbeenunmistakablyverygoodfiveyearsago,butitwassonolonger。Petrov,thebankdirector,hadtwelvethousand;Sventitsky,acompanydirector,hadseventeenthousand;Mitin,whohadfoundedabank,receivedfiftythousand。`ClearlyI’vebeennapping,andthey’veoverlookedme,’StepanArkadyevichthoughtabouthimself。Andhebegankeepinghiseyesandearsopen,andtowardtheendofthewinterhehaddiscoveredaverygoodberthandhadformedaplanofattackuponit,atfirstfromMoscowthroughaunts,uncles,andfriends,andthen,whenthematterwaswelladvanced,inthespring,hewenthimselftoPeterburg。Itwasoneofthoseberthswithincomesrangingfromonethousandtofiftythousandroubles,ofwhichtherearesomanymorenowadaysthanthereweresnug,bribableonesinthepast。ItwasthepostofsecretaryofthecommitteeoftheamalgamatedagencyoftheSouthernRailways,andofcertainbankingcompanies。Thisposition,likeallsuchappointments,calledforsuchimmenseenergyandsuchvariedqualifications,thatitwasdifficultforthemtobefoundunitedinanyoneman。Andsinceamancombiningallthequalificationswasnottobefound,itwasatleastbetterthatthepostbefilledbyanhonestthanbyadishonestman。AndStepanArkadyevichwasnotmerelyanhonestman,unemphatically,inthecommonacceptationoftheword;hewasanhonestman,emphatically,inthatspecialsensewhichthewordhasinMoscow,whentheytalkofan`honest’politician,an`honest’writer,an`honest’newspaper,an`honest’institution,an`honest’tendency,meaningnotsimplythatthemanortheinstitutionisnotdishonest,butthattheyarecapableonoccasionofstingingtheauthorities。StepanArkadyevichmovedinthosecirclesinMoscowinwhichthatexpressionhadcomeintouse,wasregardedthereasanhonestman,andsohadmorerighttothisappointmentthanothers。
Theappointmentyieldedanincomeoffromseventotenthousandayear,andOblonskycouldfillitwithoutgivinguphisgovernmentposition。Itwasinthehandsoftwoministers,onelady,andtwoJews,andallthesepeople,thoughthewayhadbeenpavedalreadywiththem,StepanArkadyevichhadtoseeinPeterburg。Besidesthisbusiness,StepanArkadyevichhadpromisedhissisterAnnatoobtainfromKareninadefiniteansweronthequestionofdivorce。AndbeggingfiftyroublesfromDolly,hesetoffforPeterburg。
StepanArkadyevichsatinKarenin’sstudylisteningtohisreportonthecausesoftheunsatisfactorypositionofRussianfinance,andonlywaitingforthemomentwhenhewouldfinishtospeakabouthisownbusinessoraboutAnna。
`Yes,that’sverytrue,’hesaid,whenAlexeiAlexandrovichtookoffthepince-nez,withoutwhichhecouldnotreadnow,andlookedinquiringlyathisquondambrother-in-law,`that’sverytrueinparticularcases,butstill,theprincipleofourdayisfreedom。’
`Yes,butIlaydownanotherprinciple,embracingtheprincipleoffreedom,’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich,withemphasisontheword`embracing’,andheputonhispince-nezagain,soastoreadthepassageinwhichthisstatementwasmade。
Andturningoverthebeautifullywritten,wide-marginedmanuscript,AlexeiAlexandrovichreadaloudtheconclusivepassageoncemore。
`Idon’tadvocateprotectionforthesakeofprivateinterest,butforthepublicweal-andforthelowerandupperclassesequally,’hesaid,lookingoverhispince-nezatOblonsky。`Buttheycannotgraspthat,theyaretakenupnowwithpersonalinterests,andcarriedawaybyphrases。’
StepanArkadyevichknewthatwhenKareninbegantotalkofwhattheyweredoingandthinking,thepersonswhowouldnotaccepthisreportandwerethecauseofeverythingwronginRussia,thatitwascomingneartheend。Andsonowheeagerlyabandonedtheprincipleoffreetrade,andfullyagreed。AlexeiAlexandrovichpaused,thoughtfullyturningoverthepagesofhismanuscript。
`Oh,bytheway,’saidStepanArkadyevich,`Iwantedtoaskyou,sometimewhenyouseePomorsky,todrophimahintthatIshouldbeverygladtogetthatnewappointmentofmemberofthecommitteeoftheamalgamatedagencyoftheSouthernRailwaysandbankingcompanies。’StepanArkadyevichwasfamiliarbynowwiththetitleoftheposthecoveted,andhebroughtitoutrapidlywithoutmistake。
AlexeiAlexandrovichquestionedhimastothedutiesofthisnewcommittee,andpondered。Hewasconsideringwhetherthenewcommitteewouldnotbeactinginsomewaycontrarytotheviewshehadbeenadvocating。Butastheinfluenceofthenewcommitteewasofaverycomplexnature,andhisviewswereofverywideapplication,hecouldnotdecidethisstraightoff,andtakingoffhispince-nez,hesaid:
`Ofcourse,Icanmentionittohim;butwhatisyourreasonpreciselyforwishingtoobtaintheappointment?’
`It’sagoodsalary,risingtoninethousand,andmymeans……’
`Ninethousand!’repeatedAlexeiAlexandrovich,andhefrowned。
ThehighfigureofthesalarymadehimreflectthatonthatsideStepanArkadyevich’sproposedpositionrancountertothemaintendencyofhisownprojectsofreform,whichalwaysleanedtowardeconomy。
`Iconsider,andIhaveembodiedmyviewsinanoteonthesubject,thatinourdaytheseimmensesalariesareevidenceoftheunsoundeconomicassietteofourfinances。’
`Butwhat’stobedone?’saidStepanArkadyevich。`Supposeabankdirectorgetstenthousand-well,he’sworthit;oranengineergetstwentythousand-afterall,it’sagrowingthing,youknow!’
`Iassumethatasalaryisthepricepaidforacommodity,anditoughttoconformwiththelawofsupplyanddemand。Ifthesalaryisfixedwithoutanyregardforthatlaw,as,forinstance,whenIseetwoengineersleavingcollegetogether,bothequallywelltrainedandefficient,andonegettingfortythousandwhiletheotherissatisfiedwithtwo;orwhenIseelawyersandhussars,havingnospecialqualifications,appointeddirectorsofbankingcompanieswithimmensesalaries,Iconcludethatthesalaryisnotfixedinaccordancewiththelawofsupplyanddemand,butsimplythroughpersonalinterest。Andthisisanabuseofgreatgravityinitself,andonethatreactsinjuriouslyonthegovernmentservice。Iconsider……’
StepanArkadyevichmadehastetointerrupthisbrother-in-law。
`Yes;butyoumustagreethatthenewinstitutionbeingstartedisofundoubtedutility。Afterall,youknow,it’sagrowingthing!Whattheylayparticularstressonisthethingbeingcarriedonhonestly,’saidStepanArkadyevichwithemphasis。
ButtheMoscowsignificanceofthewordhonestwaslostonAlexeiAlexandrovich。
`Honestyisonlyanegativequalification,’hesaid。
`Well,you’lldomeagreatservice,anyway,’saidStepanArkadyevich,`byputtinginawordtoPomorsky-justinthewayofconversation……’
`ButIfancyitdependsmoreonBolgarinov,’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich。
`Bolgarinovhasfullyassented,asfarashe’sconcerned,’saidStepanArkadyevich,turningred。StepanArkadyevichreddenedatthementionofthatname,becausehehadbeenthatmorningattheJewBolgarinov’s,andthevisithadleftanunpleasantrecollection。
StepanArkadyevichbelievedmostpositivelythatthecommitteeinwhichhewastryingtogetanappointmentwasanew,genuine,andhonestpublicbody,butthatmorningwhenBolgarinovhad-intentionally,beyondadoubt-kepthimtwohourswaitingwithotherpetitionersinhiswaitingroom,hehadsuddenlyfeltuneasy。
Whetherhewasuncomfortablebecausehe,adescendantofRurik,PrinceOblonsky,hadbeenkeptfortwohourswaitingtoseeaJew,orthatforthefirsttimeinhisfifehewasnotfollowingtheexampleofhisancestorsinservingthegovernment,butwasturningoffintoanewcareer-atanyratehewasveryuncomfortable。DuringthosetwohoursinBolgarinov’swaitingroomStepanArkadyevich,steppingjauntilyabouttheroom,pullinghissidewhiskers,enteringintoconversationwiththeotherpetitioners,andinventingacalembourdealingwithhiswaitintheJew’santeroom,assiduouslyconcealedfromothers,andevenfromhimself,thefeelinghewasexperiencing。
Butallthetimehewasuncomfortableandperturbed,hecouldnothavesaidwhy-whetherbecausehecouldnotgethiscalembourjustright,orfromsomeotherreason。WhenatlastBolgarinovhadreceivedhimwithexaggeratedpolitenessandunmistakabletriumphathishumiliation,andhadallbutrefusedthefavoraskedofhim,StepanArkadyevichhadmadehastetoforgetitallassoonaspossible。Andnow,atthemererecollection,heblushed。