TheexternalrelationsofAlexeiAlexandrovichandhiswifehadremainedunchanged。Thesoledifferencelayinthefactthathewasmorebusilyoccupiedthanever。Asinformeryears,atthebeginningofthespringhehadgonetoaforeignwateringplaceforthesakeofhishealth,beingderangedeveryyearwithhisstrenuouswinterwork。AndjustasalwayshereturnedinJulyandatoncefelltohisusualworkwithincreasedenergy。Justasalways,too,hiswifehadmovedforthesummertoavillaoutoftown,whileheremainedinPeterburg。
  FromthedateoftheirconversationafterthepartyatPrincessTverskaia’shehadneverspokenagaintoAnnaofhissuspicionsandhisjealousies,andthathabitualtoneofhisofbanteringmimicrywasthemostconvenienttonepossibleforhispresentattitudetohiswife。Hewasalittlecoldertohiswife。Hesimplyseemedtobeslightlydispleasedwithherforthatfirstmidnightconversation,whichshehadrepelled。Inhisattitudetohertherewasashadeofvexation,butnothingmore。`Youwouldnotbeopenwithme,’heseemedtosay,mentallyaddressingher;`somuchtheworseforyou。Nowyoumaybegasyouplease,butIwon’tbeopenwithyou。Somuchtheworseforyou!’hesaidmentally,likeamanwho,aftervainlyattemptingtoextinguishafire,shouldflyinaragewithhisvaineffortsandsay,`Oh,verywellthen!Youshallburnforthis!’
  Thisman,sosubtleandastuteinofficiallife,didnotrealizealltheinsanityofsuchanattitudetohiswife。Hedidnotrealizeit,becauseitwastooterribletohimtorealizehisactualposition,andheshutdownandlockedandsealedupinhisheartthatsecretplacewherelayhidhisfeelingstowardhisfamily-thatis,hiswifeandson。Hewhohadbeensuchaconsideratefather,hadfromtheendofthatwinterbecomepeculiarlyfrigidtohisson,andadoptedtohimjustthesamebanteringtoneasheusedwithhiswife。`Aha,youngman!’wasthegreetingwithwhichhemethim。
  AlexeiAlexandrovichasserted,andbelieved,thathehadneverinanypreviousyearhadsomuchofficialbusinessasthatyear。Buthewasnotawarethathesoughtworkforhimselfthatyear,thatthiswasoneofthemeansforkeepingshutthatsecretplacewherelayhidhisfeelingstowardhiswifeandson,andhisthoughtsaboutthem,whichbecamemoreterriblethelongertheylaythere。IfanyonehadhadtherighttoaskAlexeiAlexandrovichwhathethoughtofhiswife’sbehavior,themildandpeaceableAlexeiAlexandrovichwouldhavemadenoanswer,buthewouldhavebeengreatlyangeredwithanymanwhoshouldquestionhimonthatsubject。ItwaspreciselyforthisreasonthattherecameintoAlexeiAlexandrovich’sfacealookofhaughtinessandseveritywheneveranyoneinquiredafterhiswife’shealth。AlexeiAlexandrovichdidnotwanttothinkatallabouthiswife’sbehaviorandfeelings,andheactuallysucceededinnotthinkingaboutthematall。
  AlexeiAlexandrovich’spermanentsummervillawasinPeterhof,andtheCountessLidiaIvanovnausedtospendthesummerthere,closetoAnna,andconstantlyseeingher。ThatyearCountessLidiaIvanovnadeclinedtosettleinPeterhof,didnotcallonceatAnnaArkadyevna’s,andhadhintedtoAlexeiAlexandrovichabouttheunsuitabilityofAnna’scloseintimacywithBetsyandVronsky。AlexeiAlexandrovichhadsternlycuthershort,roundlydeclaringhiswifetobeabovesuspicion,andfromthattimebegantoavoidCountessLidiaIvanovna。Hedidnotwanttosee,anddidnotsee,thatmanypeopleinsocietycastdubiousglancesonhiswife;hedidnotwanttounderstand,anddidnotunderstand,whyhiswifehadsoparticularlyinsistedonstayingatTsarskoe,whereBetsywasstaying,andnotfarfromthecampofVronsky’sregiment。Hedidnotallowhimselftothinkaboutit,andhedidnotthinkaboutit;but,allthesame,thoughheneveradmittedittohimself,andhadnoproofs,norevensuspiciousevidence,atthebottomofhisheartheknewbeyondalldoubtthathewasadeceivedhusband,andhewasprofoundlymiserableaboutit。
  HowoftenduringthoseeightyearsofhappylifewithhiswifehadAlexeiAlexandrovichlookedatothermen’sfaithlesswivesandotherdeceivedhusbandsandaskedhimself:`Howcanpeopledescendtothat?Howisittheydon’tputanendtosuchahideoussituation?’Butnow,whenthemisfortunehadcomeuponhimself,hewassofarfromthinkingofputtinganendtothesituationthathewouldnotrecognizeitatall-wouldnotrecognizeitjustbecauseitwastooawful,toounnatural。
  SincehisreturnfromabroadAlexeiAlexandrovichhadbeentwiceattheircountryvilla。Oncehedinedthere,anothertimehespenttheeveningtherewithapartyoffriends,buthehadnotoncestayedthenightthere,asithadbeenhishabittodoinpreviousyears。
  ThedayoftheraceshadbeenaverybusydayforAlexeiAlexandrovich;butwhensketchingoutthedayinthemorninghemadeuphismindtogoimmediatelyafterhisearlydinner,totheirsummervillatoseehiswifeandfromtheretotheraces,whichalltheCourtweretowitness,andatwhichhewasboundtobepresent。Hewasgoingtoseehiswife,becausehehaddeterminedtoseeheronceaweektokeepupappearances。Andbesides,onthatday,asitwasthefifteenth,hehadtogivehiswifesomemoneyforherexpenses,accordingtotheirusualarrangement。
  Withhishabitualcontroloverhisthoughts,thoughhethoughtallthisabouthiswife,hedidnotlethisthoughtsstrayfurtherinregardtoher。
  ThatmorningwasaveryfulloneforAlexeiAlexandrovich。Theeveningbefore,CountessLidiaIvanovnahadsenthimapamphletbyacelebratedtravelerinChina,whowasstayinginPeterburg,andwithitsheenclosedanotebegginghimtoseethetravelerhimself,ashewasanextremelyinterestingpersonfromvariouspointsofview,andlikelytobeuseful。AlexeiAlexandrovichhadnothadtimetoreadthepamphletthroughintheevening,andfinisheditinthemorning。Thenpeoplebeganarrivingwithpetitions,andthencamethereports,interviews,appointments,dismissals,apportionmentofrewards,pensions,payments,papers-theworkdayround,asAlexeiAlexandrovichcalledit,thatalwaystookupsomuchtime。Thentherewasaprivatebusinessofhisown,avisitfromthedoctor,andfromthestewardwhomanagedhisproperty。Thestewarddidnottakeupmuchtime。HesimplygaveAlexeiAlexandrovichthemoneyheneeded,togetherwithabriefstatementofthepositionofhisaffairs,whichwasnotaltogethersatisfactory,asduringthatyear,owingtoincreasedexpenses,morehadbeenpaidoutthanusual,andtherewasadeficit。Butthedoctor,acelebratedPeterburgdoctor,whowasanintimateacquaintanceofAlexeiAlexandrovich,hadtakenupagreatdealoftime。AlexeiAlexandrovichhadnotexpectedhimthatday,andwassurprisedathisvisit,andstillmoresowhenthedoctorquestionedhimverycarefullyabouthishealth,listenedtohisbreathing,andtappedathisliver。AlexeiAlexandrovichdidnotknowthathisfriendLidiaIvanovna,noticingthathewasnotaswellasusualthatyear,hadbeggedthedoctortogoandexaminehim。`Dothisformysake,’theCountessLidiaIvanovnahadsaidtohim。
  `IwilldoitforthesakeofRussia,Countess,’repliedthedoctor。
  `Apricelessman!’saidtheCountessLidiaIvanovna。
  ThedoctorwasextremelydissatisfiedwithAlexeiAlexandrovich。Hefoundtheliverconsiderablyenlarged,andthedigestivepowersweakened,whilethecourseofmineralwatershadbeenquitewithouteffect。Heprescribedmorephysicalexerciseasfaraspossible,andasfaraspossiblelessmentalstrain,andaboveallnoworry-inotherwords,justwhatwasasmuchoutofAlexeiAlexandrovich’spowerasabstainingfrombreathing。Thenhewithdrew,leavinginAlexeiAlexandrovichanunpleasantsensethatsomethingwaswrongwithhim,andthattherewasnochanceofcuringit。
  Ashewascomingaway,thedoctorchancedtomeetonthestepsanacquaintanceofhis,Sludin,whowasheadclerkinAlexeiAlexandrovich’soffice。Theyhadbeencomradesattheuniversity,and,thoughtheyrarelymet,theythoughthighlyofeachotherandwereexcellentfriends,andhencetherewasnoonetowhomthedoctorwouldhavegivenhisopinionofapatientsofreelyastoSludin。
  `HowgladIamyou’vebeenseeinghim!’saidSludin。`He’snotwell,andIfancy……Well,whatdoyouthinkofhim?’
  `I’lltellyou,’saidthedoctor,beckoningoverSludin’sheadtohiscoachmantobringthecarriageround。`It’sjustthis,’saidthedoctor,takingafingerofhiskidgloveinhiswhitehandsandpullingit,`ifyoudon’tstrainthestrings,andthentrytobreakthem,you’llfinditadifficultjob;butstrainastringtoitsveryutmost,andthemereweightofonefingeronthestrainedstringwillsnapit。Andwithhiscloseassiduity,hisconscientiousdevotiontohiswork,he’sstrainedtotheutmost;andthere’ssomeoutsideburdenweighingonhim,andthatnotalightone,’concludedthedoctor,raisinghiseyebrowssignificantly。`Willyoubeattheraces?’headded,ashecamedowntohiscarriage。`Yes,yes,tobesure;itdoeswastealotoftime,’thedoctorrespondedvaguelytosomereplyofSludin’shehadnotcaught。
  Directlyafterthedoctor,whohadtakenupsomuchtime,camethecelebratedtraveler,andAlexeiAlexandrovich,bymeansofthepamphlethehadonlyjustfinishedreading,andhispreviousacquaintancewiththesubject,impressedthetravelerbythedepthofhisknowledgeofthesubjectandthebreadthandenlightenmentofhisviewofit。
  AtthesametimewiththetravelertherewasannouncedaprovincialmarshalofnobilityonavisittoPeterburg,withwhomAlexeiAlexandrovichhadtohavesomeconversation。Afterhisdeparture,hehadtofinishthedailyroutineofbusinesswithhisheadclerk,andthenhestillhadtodriveroundtocallonacertainpersonageonamatterofgraveandseriousimport。AlexeiAlexandrovichhardlymanagedtobebackbyfiveo’clock,hisdinnerhour,and,afterdiningwithhisheadclerk,heinvitedhimtodrivewithhimtohissummervillaandtotheraces。
  Thoughhedidnotacknowledgeittohimself,AlexeiAlexandrovichalwaystriednowadaystosecurethepresenceofathirdpersoninhisinterviewswithhiswife。
  Annawasupstairs,standingbeforethelookingglass,and,withAnnushka’sassistance,pinningthelastribbononhergownwhensheheardcarriagewheelscrunchingthegravelattheentrance。
  `It’stooearlyforBetsy,’shethought,and,glancingoutofthewindow,shecaughtsightofthecarriageand,protrudedfromit,theblackhatofAlexeiAlexandrovich,andtheearsthatsheknewsowell。`Howunlucky!Canhebegoingtostaythenight?’shewondered,andthethoughtofallthatmightcomeofsuchachancestruckherassoawfulandterriblethat,withoutdwellingonitforamoment,shewentdowntomeethimwithabrightandradiantface;andconsciousofthepresenceofthatspiritoffalsehoodanddeceitinherselfthatshehadcometoknowoflate,sheabandonedherselftothatspiritandbegantalking,hardlyknowingwhatshewassaying。
  `Ah,howlovelyofyou!’shesaid,givingherhusbandherhand,andwithasmilegreetingSludin,whowaslikeoneofthefamily。`You’restayingthenight,Ihope?’wasthefirstwordthespiritoffalsehoodpromptedhertoutter。`Andnowwe’llgotogether。Onlyit’sapityI’vepromisedBetsy。She’scomingforme。’
  AlexeiAlexandrovichknithisbrowsatBetsy’sname。
  `Oh,I’mnotgoingtoseparatetheinseparables,’hesaidinhisusualbanteringtone。`I’mgoingwithMikhailVassilyevich。Eventhedoctorsordermetowalk。I’llwalk,andfancymyselfatthespringsagain。’
  `There’snohurry,’saidAnna。`Wouldyouliketea?’
  Sherang。
  `Bringintea,andtellSeriozhathatAlexeiAlexandrovichishere。Well,tellme,howhaveyoubeen?MikhailVassilyevich,you’venotbeentoseemebefore。Lookhowlovelyitisoutontheterrace,’shesaid,turningfirsttooneandthentotheother。
  Shespokeverysimplyandnaturally,buttoomuchandtoofast。ShewasthemoreawareofthisfromnoticingintheinquisitivelookwhichMikhailVassilyevichturnedonherthathewas,asitwere,keepingwatchonher。
  MikhailVassilyevichpromptlywentoutontheterrace。
  Shesatdownbesideherhusband。
  `Youdon’tlookquitewell,’shesaid。
  `Yes,’hesaid;`thedoctor’sbeenwithmetodayandwastedanhourofmytime。Ifeelthatsomeoneofourfriendsmusthavesenthim:myhealth’ssoprecious……’
  `Come:whatdidhesay?’
  Shequestionedhimabouthishealth,andwhathehadbeendoing,andtriedtopersuadehimtotakearestandcomeouttoher。
  Allthisshesaidbrightly,rapidly,andwithapeculiarbrillianceinhereyes。ButAlexeiAlexandrovichdidnotnowattachanyspecialsignificancetothistoneofhers。Heheardonlyherwordsandgavethemonlythedirectsensetheybore。Andheansweredsimply,thoughjestingly。Therewasnothingremarkableinallthisconversation,butneveraftercouldAnnarecallthisbriefscenewithoutanagonizingpangofshame。
  Seriozhacamein,precededbyhisgoverness。IfAlexeiAlexandrovichhadallowedhimselftoobservehewouldhavenoticedthetimidandbewilderedeyeswithwhichSeriozhaglancedfirstathisfatherandthenathismother。Buthewouldnotseeanything,andhedidnotseeit。
  `Ah,theyoungman!He’sgrown。Really,he’sgettingquiteaman。Howareyou,youngman?’
  Andhegavehishandtothescaredchild。
  Seriozhahadbeenshyofhisfatherbefore,andnow,eversinceAlexeiAlexandrovichhadtakentocallinghim`youngman,’andsincethatinsolvablequestionhadoccurredtohimastowhetherVronskywerefriendorfoe,heavoidedhisfather。Helookedroundtowardhismother,asthoughseekingrefuge。Itwasonlywithhismotherthathewasatease。Meanwhile,AlexeiAlexandrovichwasholdinghissonbytheshoulder,whilehewasspeakingtothegoverness,andSeriozhawassomiserablyuncomfortablethatAnnasawhewasonthepointoftears。
  Anna,whohadflushedalittletheinstanthersonhadcomein,noticingthatSeriozhawasuncomfortable,gotuphurriedly,tookAlexeiAlexandrovich’shandfromherson’sshoulder,and,kissingtheboy,ledhimoutontotheterrace,andquicklycameback。
  `It’stimetostart,though,’saidshe,glancingatherwatch。`HowisitBetsydoesn’tcome?……’
  `Yes,’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich,and,gettingup,hefoldedhishandsandcrackedhisfingers。`I’vecometobringyousomemoney,too-fornightingales,weknow,can’tliveonfairytales,’hesaid。`Youwantit,Iexpect?’
  `No,Idon’t……Yes,Ido,’shesaid,withoutlookingathim,andcrimsoningtotherootsofherhair。`Butyou’llcomebackhereaftertheraces,Isuppose?’
  `Oh,yes!’answeredAlexeiAlexandrovich。`Andhere’sthegloryofPeterhof-PrincessTverskaia,’headded,lookingoutofthewindowattheEnglishharnessedcarriage,withthetinyseatsplacedextremelyhigh。`Whatelegance!Charming!Well,letusbestartingtoo,then。’
  PrincessTverskaiadidnotgetoutofhercarriage,butherliveryman,inspatterdashes,acapeandblackhighhat,jumpedoffattheentrance。
  `I’mgoing;good-by!’saidAnna,and,kissingherson,shewentuptoAlexeiAlexandrovichandheldoutherhandtohim。`Itwaseversolovelyofyoutocome。’
  AlexeiAlexandrovichkissedherhand。
  `Well,aurevoir,then!You’llcomebackforsometea-that’llbedelightful!’shesaid,andwentout,radiantandgay。Butassoonashewasoutofsight,shebecameawareofthespotonherhandthathislipshadtouched,andsheshudderedwithrepulsion。
  WhenAlexeiAlexandrovichreachedtheracecourseAnnawasalreadysittinginthepavilionbesideBetsy,inthatpavilionwherethehighestsocietyhadgathered。Shecaughtsightofherhusbandinthedistance。Twomen,herhusbandandherlover,werethetwocentersofherexistence,and,unaidedbyherexternalsenses,shewasawareoftheirproximity。Shewasawareofherhusbandapproachingalongwayoff,andshecouldnothelpfollowinghiminthesurgingcrowdinthemidstofwhichhewasmoving。Shewatchedhisprogresstowardthepavilion,sawhimnowrespondingcondescendinglytoaningratiatingbow,nowexchangingfriendly,nonchalantgreetingswithhisequals,nowassiduouslytryingtocatchtheeyeofsomegreatoneofthisworld,andtakingoffhisbigroundhatthatpresseddownthetipsofhisears。Allthesewaysofhissheknew,andallwerehatefultoher。`Nothingbutambition,nothingbutdesiretogeton-that’sallthereisinhissoul,’shethought;`asforhisloftyideals,loveofculture,religion,theyareonlysomanytoolsforgettingon。’
  Fromhisglancestowardtheladies’pavilionhewasstaringstraightather,butdidnotdistinguishhiswifeintheseaofmuslin,ribbons,feathers,parasolsandflowersshesawthathewaslookingforher,butshepurposelyavoidednoticinghim。
  `AlexeiAlexandrovich!’PrincessBetsycalledtohim;`I’msureyoudon’tseeyourwife:heresheis。’
  Hesmiledhischillysmile。
  `There’ssomuchsplendorherethatone’seyesaredazzled,’hesaid,andhewentintothepavilion。Hesmiledtohiswifeasamanshouldsmileonmeetinghiswifeafteronlyjustpartingfromher,andgreetedtheprincessandotheracquaintances,givingtoeachwhatwasdue-thatistosay,jestingwiththeladiesanddealingoutfriendlygreetingsamongthemen。Below,nearthepavilion,wasstandinganadjutantgeneralofwhomAlexeiAlexandrovichhadahighopinion,notedforhisintelligenceandculture。AlexeiAlexandrovichenteredintoconversationwithhim。
  Therewasanintervalbetweentheraces,andsonothinghinderedconversation。Theadjutantgeneralexpressedhisdisapprovalofraces。AlexeiAlexandrovichreplieddefendingthem。Annaheardhishigh,measuredtones,withoutlosingoneword,andeverywordstruckherasfalse,andstabbedherearswithpain。
  Whenthefour-verstasteeplechasewasbeginning,shebentforwardandgazedwithfixedeyesatVronskyashewentuptohishorseandmounted,andatthesametimesheheardthatloathsome,never-ceasingvoiceofherhusband。ShewasinanagonyofterrorforVronsky,butastillgreateragonywasthenever-ceasing,asitseemedtoher,streamofherhusband’sshrillvoicewithitsfamiliarintonations。
  `I’mawickedwoman,alostwoman,’shethought;`butIdon’tlikelying,Ican’tendurefalsehood,whileasforhim[herhusband],falsehoodisthebreathoflifetohim。Heknowsallaboutit,heseesitall;whatdoeshecareifhecantalksocalmly?Ifheweretokillme,ifheweretokillVronsky,Imightrespecthim。No,allhewantsisfalsehoodandpropriety,’Annasaidtoherself,notconsideringexactlywhatitwasshewantedofherhusband,andhowshewouldhavelikedtoseehimbehave。ShedidnotunderstandeitherthatAlexeiAlexandrovich’speculiarloquacitythatday,soexasperatingtoher,wasmerelytheexpressionofhisinwarddistressanduneasiness。Asachildthathasbeenhurthopsabout,puttingallhismusclesintomovementtodrownthepain,inthesamewayAlexeiAlexandrovichneededmentalexercisetodrownthethoughtsofhiswife,thatinherpresenceandinVronsky’s,andwiththecontinualiterationofhisname,wouldforcethemselvesonhisattention。Anditisasnaturalforachildtohopabout,asitwasnaturalforhimtotalkwellandcleverly。Hewassaying:
  `Dangerintheracestoofficers,tocavalrymen,isanessentialelementintherace。IfEnglandcanpointtothemostbrilliantfeatsofcavalryinmilitaryhistory,itissimplyowingtothefactthatshehashistoricallydevelopedthisforcebothinbeastsandinmen。Sporthas,inmyopinion,agreatvalue,and,asisalwaysthecase,weseenothingbutwhatismostsuperficial。’
  `It’snotsuperficial,’saidPrincessTverskaia。`Oneoftheofficers,theysay,hasbrokentworibs。’
  AlexeiAlexandrovichsmiledhissmile,whichuncoveredhisteeth,butrevealednothingmore。
  `We’lladmit,Princess,thatthat’snotsuperficial,’hesaid,`butinternal。Butthat’snotthepoint,’andheturnedagaintothegeneralwithwhomhetalkedseriously;`wemustn’tforgetthatthosewhoaretakingpartintheracearemilitarymen,whohavechosenthatcareer,andonemustallowthateverycallinghasitsdisagreeableside。Itformsanintegralpartofthedutiesofanofficer。Lowsports,suchasprizefightingorSpanishbullfights,areasignofbarbarity。Butspecializedtrialsofskillareasignofdevelopment。’
  `No,Ishan’tcomeanothertime;it’stooupsetting,’saidPrincessBetsy。`Isn’tit,Anna?’
  `Itisupsetting,butonecan’ttearoneselfaway,’saidanotherlady。`IfI’dbeenaRomanwomanIshouldneverhavemissedasinglecircus。’
  Annasaidnothing,and,keepingheroperaglassup,gazedalwaysatthesamespot。
  Atthatmomentatallgeneralwalkedthroughthepavilion。Breakingoffwhathewassaying,AlexeiAlexandrovichgotuphurriedly,thoughwithdignity,andbowedlowtothegeneral。
  `You’renotracing?’theofficerasked,chaffinghim。
  `Myraceisaharderone,’AlexeiAlexandrovichrespondeddeferentially。
  Andthoughtheanswermeantnothing,thegenerallookedasthoughhehadheardawittyremarkfromawittyman,andfullyrelishedlapointedelasauce。
  `Therearetwoaspects,’AlexeiAlexandrovichresumed:`thosewhotakepartandthosewholookon;andloveforsuchspectaclesisanunmistakableproofofalowdegreeofdevelopmentinthespectator,Iadmit,but……’
  `Anybets,Princess?’soundedStepanArkadyevich’svoicefrombelow,addressingBetsy。`Who’syourfavorite?’
  `AnnaandIareforKuzovlev,’repliedBetsy。
  `I’mforVronsky。Apairofgloves?’
  `Done!’
  `Butitisaprettysight,isn’tit?’
  AlexeiAlexandrovichpausedwhiletheothersweretalkingnearhim,buthebeganagaindirectly。
  `Iadmitthatmanlysportsdonot……’hemadeanattempttocontinue。
  Butatthatmomenttheracersstarted,andallconversationceased。AlexeiAlexandrovichalsofellsilent,andeveryonestoodupandturnedtowardthestream。AlexeiAlexandrovichtooknointerestintherace,andsohedidnotwatchtheracers,butfelllistlesslytoscanningthespectatorswithhiswearyeyes。HiseyesresteduponAnna。
  Herfacewaswhiteandstern。Shewasobviouslyseeingnothingandnoonebutoneman。Herhandhadconvulsivelyclutchedherfan,andsheheldherbreath。Helookedatherandhastilyturnedaway,scrutinizingotherfaces。
  `Buthere’sthisladytoo,andothersverymuchmovedaswell;it’sverynatural,’AlexeiAlexandrovichtoldhimselfHetriednottolookather,butunconsciouslyhiseyesweredrawntoher。Heexaminedthatfaceagain,tryingnottoreadwhatwassoplainlywrittenonit,andagainsthisownwill,withhorror,readinitwhathedidnotwanttoknow。
  Thefirstfall-Kuzovlev’s,atthestream-agitatedeveryone,butAlexeiAlexandrovichsawdistinctlyonAnna’spale,triumphantfacethatthemanshewaswatchinghadnotfallen。When,afterMakhotinandVronskyhadclearedtheworstbarrier,thenextofficerhadbeenthrownstraightonhisheadatitandfatallyinjured,andashudderofhorrorpassedoverthewholepublic,AlexeiAlexandrovichsawthatAnnadidnotevennoticeit,andhadsomedifficultyinrealizingwhattheyweresayingaroundher。Butmoreandmoreoften,andwithgreaterpersistence,hewatchedher。Anna,whollyengrossedasshewaswiththesightofVronskyracing,becameawareofherhusband’scoldeyesfixeduponherfromaside。
  Sheglancedroundforaninstant,lookedinquiringlyathim,andwithaslightfrownturnedawayagain。
  `Ah,Idon’tcare!’sheseemedtosaytohim,andshedidnotonceglanceathimagain。
  Theracewasanunluckyone,andoftheseventeenofficerswhorodeinitmorethanhalfhadbeenthrownandhurt。Towardtheendoftheraceeveryonewasinastateofagitation,whichwasintensifiedbythefactthattheCzarwasdispleased。
  Everyonewasloudlyexpressingdisapprobation,everyonewasrepeatingaphrasesomeonehaduttered:`Thelionsandgladiatorswillbethenextthing,’andeveryonewasfeelinghorrified;sothatwhenVronskyfelltotheground,andAnnamoanedaloud,therewasnothingverymuchoutofthewayinit。ButafterwardachangecameoverAnna’sfacewhichreallywentbeyonddecorum。Sheutterlylostherhead。Shebeganflutteringlikeacagedbird,atonemomentwantingtogetupandmoveaway,andatthenextturningtoBetsy。
  `Letusgo,letusgo!’shesaid。
  ButBetsydidnothearher。Shewasbendingdown,talkingtoageneralwhohadcomeuptoher。
  AlexeiAlexandrovichwentuptoAnnaandcourteouslyofferedherhisarm。
  `Letusgo,ifyoulike,’hesaidinFrench,butAnnawaslisteningtothegeneralanddidnotnoticeherhusband。
  `He’sbrokenhislegtoo,sotheysay,’thegeneralwassaying。`Thissurpasseseverything。’
  Withoutansweringherhusband,AnnaliftedheroperaglassandgazedtowardtheplacewhereVronskyhadfallen;butitwassofaroff,andtherewassuchacrowdofpeopleaboutit,thatshecouldmakeoutnothing。Sheputdowntheoperaglass,andwouldhavemovedaway,butatthatmomentanofficergallopedupandmadesomeannouncementtotheCzar。Annacranedforward,listening。
  `Stiva!Stiva!’shecriedtoherbrother。
  Butherbrotherdidnothearher。Againshewouldhavemovedaway。
  `OncemoreIofferyoumyarmifyouwanttobegoing,’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich,reachingforherhand。
  Shedrewbackfromhimwithaversion,andwithoutlookingathisfaceanswered:
  `No,no,leavemealone-I’llstay。’
  ShesawnowthatfromtheplaceofVronsky’saccidentanofficerwasrunningacrossthecoursetowardthepavilion。Betsywavedherhandkerchieftohim。Theofficerbroughtthenewsthattheriderwasnotkilled,butthatthebackofthehorsehadbeenbroken。
  OnhearingthisAnnasatdownhurriedly,andhidherfaceinherfan。AlexeiAlexandrovichsawthatshewasweeping,andcouldnotcontrolhertears,noreventhesobsthatwereshakingherbosom。AlexeiAlexandrovichstoodsoastoscreenher,givinghertimetorecoverherself。
  `ForthethirdtimeIofferyoumyarm,’hesaidtoherafterashortinterval,turningtoher。Annagazedathimanddidnotknowwhattosay。PrincessBetsycametoherrescue。
  `No,AlexeiAlexandrovich;IbroughtAnnaandIpromisedtotakeherhome,’putinBetsy。
  `Excuseme,Princess,’hesaidsmilingcourteously,butlookingherveryfirmlyintheface,`butIseethatAnna’snotverywell,andIwishhertocomehomewithme。’
  Annalookedaboutherinafrightenedway,gotupsubmissively,andlaidherhandonherhusband’sarm。
  `I’llsendtohimandfindout,andletyouknow,’Betsywhisperedtoher。
  Astheyleftthepavilion,AlexeiAlexandrovich,asalways,talkedtothosehemet,andAnnahad,asalways,totalkandanswer;butshewasutterlybesideherself,andmovedhangingonherhusband’sarm,asthoughinadream。
  `Ishekilledornot?Isittrue?Willhecomeornot?ShallIseehimtoday?’shewasthinking。
  Shetookherseatinherhusband’scarriageinsilence,andinsilencedroveoutofthepressofcarriages。Inspiteofallhehadseen,AlexeiAlexandrovichstilldidnotallowhimselftoconsiderhiswife’srealcondition。Hemerelysawtheoutwardsymptoms。Hesawthatshewasbehavingunbecomingly,andconsideredithisdutytotellherso。Butitwasverydifficultforhimnottosaymore,totellhernothingbutthat。Heopenedhismouthtotellhershehadbehavedunbecomingly,buthecouldnothelpsayingsomethingutterlydifferent。
  `Whataninclinationweallhave,though,forthesecruelspectacles!hesaid。`Iobserve……’
  `Eh?Idon’tunderstand,’saidAnnacontemptuously。
  Hewasoffended,andatoncebegantosaywhathehadmeanttosay。
  `Iamobligedtotellyou……’hebegan。
  `Sonowwearetohaveitout,’shethought,andshefeltfrightened。
  `Iamobligedtotellyouthatyourbehaviorhasbeenunbecomingtoday,’hesaidtoher,inFrench。
  `Inwhatwayhasmybehaviorbeenunbecoming?’shesaidaloud,turningherheadswiftlyandlookinghimstraightintheface,notwiththebrightexpressionthatseemedcoveringsomething,butwithalookofdetermination,underwhichsheconcealedwithdifficultythedismayshewasfeeling。
  `Becareful,’hesaid,pointingtotheopenwindowoppositethecoachman。
  Hegotupandpulledupthewindow。
  `Whatdidyouconsiderunbecoming?’sherepeated。
  `Thedespairyouwereunabletoconcealattheaccidenttooneoftheriders。’
  Hewaitedforhertoretort,butshewassilent,lookingstraightbeforeher。
  `Ihavealreadybeggedyousotoconductyourselfinsocietythatevenmalicioustonguescanfindnothingtosayagainstyou。TherewasatimewhenIspokeofyourinwardattitude,butIamnotspeakingofthatnow。NowIspeakonlyofyourexternalattitude。Youhavebehavedimproperly,andIwouldwishitnottooccuragain。’
  Shedidnothearhalfofwhathewassaying;shefeltpanic-strickenbeforehim,andwasthinkingwhetheritwastruethatVronskywasnotkilled。Wasitofhimtheywerespeakingwhentheysaidtheriderwasunhurt,butthatthebackofthehorsehadbeenbroken?Shemerelysmiledwithaforcedsmilewhenhefinished,andmadenoreply,becauseshehadnotheardwhathesaid。AlexeiAlexandrovichhadbeguntospeakboldly,butasherealizedplainlywhathewasspeakingof,thedismayshewasfeelinginfectedhimtoo。Hesawthesmile,andastrangemisapprehensioncameoverhim。
  `Sheissmilingatmysuspicions。Yes,shewilltellmedirectlywhatshetoldmebefore;thatthereisnofoundationformysuspicions,thatthewholethingisabsurd。’
  Atthatmoment,whentherevelationofeverythingwashangingoverhim,therewasnothingheexpectedsomuchasthatshewouldanswermockingly,asbefore,thathissuspicionswereabsurdandutterlygroundless。Soterribletohimwaswhatheknewthatnowhewasreadytobelieveanything。Buttheexpressionofherface,scaredandgloomy,didnotnowpromiseevendeception。
  `PossiblyIwasmistaken,’saidhe。`Ifso,Ibegyourpardon。’
  `No,youwerenotmistaken,’shesaidslowly,lookingdesperatelyintohisfrigidface。`Youwerenotmistaken。Iwasindespair,norcouldIhelpbeingindespair。Iamlisteningtoyou,butIamthinkingofhim。Ilovehim,Iamhismistress;Ican’tbearyou;I’mafraidofyou,andIhateyou……Youcandowhatyouliketome。’
  Anddroppingbackintothecornerofthecarriage,shebrokeintosobs,hidingherfaceinherhands。AlexeiAlexandrovichdidnotstir,andkeptlookingstraightbeforehim。Buthiswholefacesuddenlyborethesolemnrigidityofthedead,andhisexpressiondidnotchangeduringthewholetimeofthedrivehome。Onreachingthehouseheturnedhisheadtoher,stillwiththesameexpression。
  `Verywell!ButIexpectastrictobservanceoftheexternalformsofproprietytillsuchtime’-hisvoiceshook-`asImaytakemeasurestosecuremyhonor,andcommunicatethemtoyou。’
  Hegotoutfirstandhelpedhertogetout。Beforetheservantshepressedherhand,tookhisseatinthecarriage,anddrovebacktoPeterburg。
  ImmediatelyafterwardafootmancamefromPrincessBetsyandbroughtAnnaanote。
  `IsenttoAlexeitofindouthowheis,andhewritesmeheisquitewellandunhurt,butindespair。’
  `Sohewillbehere,’shethought。`WhatagoodthingItoldhimall。’
  Sheglancedatherwatch。Shehadstillthreehourstowait,andthememoriesoftheirlastmeetingsetherbloodinflame。
  `MyGod,howlightitis!It’sdreadful,butIdolovetoseehisface,andIdolovethisfantasticlight……Myhusband!Oh!yes……Well,thankGod!everything’satanendwithhim。’
  InthelittleGermanwateringplacetowhichtheShcherbatskyshadbetakenthemselves,asinallplacesindeedwherepeoplearegatheredtogether,theusualprocess,asitwere,ofthecrystallizationofsocietywenton,assigningtoeachmemberofthatsocietyadefiniteandunalterableplace。Justastheparticleofwaterinfrost,definitelyandunalterably,takesthespecialformofthecrystalofsnow,soeachnewpersonthatarrivedatthespringswasatonceplacedinhisorherpeculiarplace。
  FürstShcherbatsky,samtGemahlinundTochter,bytheapartmentstheytook,andfromtheirnameandfromthefriendstheymade,wereimmediatelycrystallizedintoadefiniteplacemarkedoutforthem。
  TherewasvisitingthewateringplacethatyeararealGermanFürstin,inconsequenceofwhichthecrystallizingprocesswentonmorevigorouslythanever。PrincessShcherbatskywished,aboveeverything,topresentherdaughtertothisGermanPrincess,andthedayaftertheirarrivalshedulyperformedthisrite。Kittymadealowandgracefulcurtsyinthe`verysimple,’thatistosay,veryelegantfrockthathadbeenorderedforherfromParis。TheGermanPrincesssaid,`Ihopetheroseswillsooncomebacktothisprettylittleface,’andfortheShcherbatskygcertaindefinitelinesofexistencewereatoncelaiddown,fromwhichtherewasnodeparting。TheShcherbatskysmadetheacquaintancetooofthefamilyofanEnglishlady,andofaGermanCountessandherson,woundedinthelastwar,andofalearnedSwede,andofM。Canutandhissister。YetinevitablytheShcherbatskyswerethrownmostintothesocietyofaMoscowlady,MaryaEugenyevnaRtishchevaandherdaughter,whomKittydisliked,becauseshehadfallenill,likeherself,overaloveaffair;andaMoscowcolonel,whomKittyhadknownfromchildhood,andhadalwaysseeninuniformandepaulets,andwhonow,withhislittleeyesandhisopenneckandfloweredcravat,wasuncommonlyridiculousandtedious,becausetherewasnogettingridofhim。Whenallthiswassofirmlyestablished,Kittybegantobeverymuchbored,especiallyasthePrincewentofftoCarlsbadandshewasleftalonewithhermother。Shetooknointerestinthepeoplesheknew,feelingthatnothingfreshwouldcomeofthem。Herchiefmentalinterestinthewateringplaceconsistedinwatchingandmakingtheoriesaboutthepeopleshedidnotknow。ItwascharacteristicofKittythatshealwaysimaginedeverythinginpeopleinthemostfavorablelightpossible,especiallysointhoseshedidnotknow。Andnow,asshemadesurmisesastowhopeoplewere,whatweretheirrelationstooneanother,andwhattheywerelike,Kittyendowedthemwiththemostmarvelousandnoblecharacters,andfoundconfirmationinherobservations。
  OfthesepeopletheonethatattractedhermostwasaRussiangirlwhohadcometothewateringplacewithaninvalidRussianlady,MadameStahl,aseveryonecalledher。MadameStahlbelongedtothehighestsociety,butshewassoillthatshecouldnotwalk,andonlyonexceptionallyfinedaysmadeherappearanceatthespringsinaninvalidcarriage。Butitwasnotsomuchfromill-healthasfrompride-soPrincessShcherbatskaiainterpretedit-thatMadameStahlhadnotmadetheacquaintanceofanyoneamongtheRussiansthere。TheRussiangirllookedafterMadameStahl,andbesidesthat,shewas,asKittyobserved,onfriendlytermswithalltheinvalidswhowereseriouslyill-andthereweremanyofthematthesprings-andwassolicitousovertheminthemostnaturalway。ThisRussiangirlwasnot,asKittygathered,relatedtoMadameStahl,norwassheapaidattendant。MadameStahlcalledherVarenka,andotherpeoplecalledher`MademoiselleVarenka。’ApartfromtheinterestKittytookinthisgirl’srelationswithMadameStahlandwithotherunknownpersons,Kitty,asoftenhappened,feltaninexplicableattractiontoMademoiselleVarenka,andwasawarewhentheireyesmetthatshetoolikedher。
  OfMademoiselleVarenkaonewouldnotsaythatshehadpassedherfirstyouth,butshewas,asitwere,acreaturewithoutyouth;shemighthavebeentakenfornineteenorforthirty。Ifherfeatureswerecriticizedseparately,shewashandsomeratherthatplain,inspiteofthesicklyhueofherface。Herswouldhavebeenagoodfigure,too,ifithadnotbeenforherextremethinnessandthesizeofherhead,whichwastoolargeforhermediumheight。Butshewasnotlikelytobeattractivetomen。Shewaslikeafineflower,alreadypastitsbloomandwithoutfragrance,thoughthepetalswerestillunwithered。Moreover,shewouldhavebeenunattractivetomenalsofromthelackofjustwhatKittyhadtoomuchof-ofthesuppressedfireofvitality,andtheconsciousnessofherownattractiveness。
  Shealwaysseemedabsorbedinwork,beyondadoubt,andsoitseemedasifshecouldtakenointerestinanythingoutsideit。ItwasjustthiscontrastwithherownpositionthatwasforKittythegreatattractionofMademoiselleVarenka。Kittyfeltthatinher,inhermanneroflife,shewouldfindanexampleofwhatshewasnowsopainfullyseeking:interestinlife,adignityinlife-apartfromtheworldlyrelationsofgirlswithmen,whichsorevoltedKitty,andappearedtohernowasashamefulexhibitionofgoodsinsearchofapurchaser。ThemoreattentivelyKittywatchedherunknownfriend,themoreconvincedshewasthatthisgirlwastheperfectcreatureshefanciedher,andthemoreeagerlyshewishedtomakeheracquaintance。
  Thetwogirlsusedtomeetseveraltimesaday,andeverytimetheymetKitty’seyessaid:`Whoareyou?Whatareyou?AreyoureallytheexquisitecreatureIimagineyoutobe?Butforgoodness’sakedon’tsuppose,’hereyesadded,`thatIwouldforcemyacquaintanceonyou-Isimplyadmireyouandlikeyou。’`Ilikeyoutoo,andyou’revery,verysweet。AndIshouldlikeyoubetterstill,ifIhadtime,’answeredtheeyesoftheunknowngirl。Kittysaw,indeed,thatshewasalwaysbusy。EithershewastakingthechildrenofaRussianfamilyhomefromthesprings,orfetchingashawlforasicklady,andwrappingherupinit,ortryingtointerestanirritableinvalid,orselectingandbuyingteacakesforsomeone。
  SoonafterthearrivaloftheShcherbatskysthereappearedinthemorningcrowdatthespringstwopersonswhoattracteduniversalandunfavorableattention。Thesewereatallmanwithastoopingfigureandhugehands,inanoldcoattooshortforhim,withblack,simple,andyetterribleeyes,andapock-marked,kind-lookingwoman,verybadlyandtastelesslydressed。RecognizingthesepersonsasRussians,Kittyhadalreadyinherimaginationbegunconstructingadelightfulandtouchingromanceaboutthem。ButthePrincess,havingascertainedfromtheKurlistethatthiswasNikolaiLevinandMaryaNikolaevna,explainedtoKittywhatabadmanthisLevinwas,andallherfanciesaboutthesetwopeoplevanished。Notsomuchfromwhathermothertoldher,asfromthefactthatitwasKonstantin’sbrother,thispairsuddenlyseemedtoKittyinthehighestdegreeunpleasant。ThisLevin,withhiscontinualtwitchingofhishead,arousedinhernowanirrepressiblefeelingofdisgust。
  Itseemedtoherthathisbig,terribleeyes,whichpersistentlypursuedher,expressedafeelingofhatredandcontempt,andshetriedtoavoidmeetinghim。
  Itwasafoulday;ithadbeenrainingallthemorning,andtheinvalids,withtheirparasols,hadflockedintothearcades。
  KittywaswalkingtherewithhermotherandtheMoscowcolonel,smartandjauntyinhisEuropeancoat,boughtready-madeatFrankfort。Theywerewalkingononesideofthearcade,tryingtoavoidLevin,whowaswalkingontheotherside。Varenka,inherdarkdress,inablackhatwithaturndownbrim,waswalkingupanddownthewholelengthofthearcadewithablindFrenchwoman,and,everytimeshemetKitty,theyexchangedfriendlyglances。
  `Mamma,couldn’tIspeaktoher?’saidKitty,watchingherunknownfriend,andnoticingthatshewasgoinguptothespring,andthattheymightcometheretogether。
  `Oh,ifyouwanttosomuch,I’llfindoutaboutherfirstandmakeheracquaintancemyself,’answeredhermother。`Whatdoyouseeinheroutoftheway?Acompanion,mostprobably。Ifyoulike,I’llmakeacquaintancewithMadameStahl;Iusedtoknowherbelle-soeur,’addedthePrincess,liftingherheadhaughtily。
  KittyknewthatthePrincesswasoffendedbecauseMadameStahlhadapparentlyavoidedmakingheracquaintance。Kittydidnotinsist。
  `Howwonderfullysweetsheis!’shesaid,gazingatVarenkajustasshehandedaglasstotheFrenchwoman。`Lookhownaturalandsweetitallis。’
  `It’ssofunnytoseeyourengouements,’saidthePrincess。`No,we’dbettergoback,’sheadded,noticingLevincomingtowardthemwithhiscompanionandaGermandoctor,towhomhewastalkingverynoisilyandangrily。
  Theyturnedtogoback,whensuddenlytheyheard,notmerelynoisytalk,butactualshouting。Levin,stoppingshort,wasshoutingatthedoctor,andthedoctor,too,wasexcited。Acrowdgatheredaboutthem。ThePrincessandKittybeatahastyretreat,whilethecoloneljoinedthecrowdtofindoutwhatwasup。
  Afewminuteslaterthecolonelovertookthem。
  `Whatwasit?’inquiredthePrincess。
  `Scandalousanddisgraceful!’answeredthecolonel。`TheonethingtobedreadedismeetingRussiansabroad。Thattallgentlemanwasabusingthedoctor,flingingallsortsofinsultsathimbecausehewasn’ttreatinghimquiteasheliked,andhebeganwavinghisstickathim。It’ssimplyscandalous!’
  `Oh,howunpleasant!’saidthePrincess。`Well,andhowdiditend?’
  `Luckilyatthatpointthatmiss……theoneinthemushroomhat……intervened。SheisaRussianlady,Ithink,’saidthecolonel。
  `MademoiselleVarenka?’Kittyaskedjoyously。
  `Yes,yes。Shecametotherescuebeforeanyoneelse;shetookthemanbythearmandledhimaway。’
  `There,mamma,’saidKitty,`yetyouwonderwhyI’menthusiasticabouther。’
  Thenextday,asshewatchedherunknownfriend,KittynoticedthatMademoiselleVarenkawasalreadyonthesametermswithLevinandhiscompanionaswithherotherproteges。Shewentuptothem,enteredintoconversationwiththem,andservedasinterpreterforthewoman,whocouldnotspeakanyforeignlanguage。
  KittybegantoentreathermotherstillmoreurgentlytolethermakeacquaintancewithVarenka。And,disagreeableasitwastothePrincesstoseemtotakethefirststepinwishingtomaketheacquaintanceofMadameStahl,whothoughtfittogiveherselfairs,shemadeinquiriesaboutVarenka,and,havingascertainedparticularsabouthertendingtoprovethattherecouldhenoharm,eveniflittlegoodintheacquaintance,sheherselfapproachedVarenkaandmadeacquaintancewithher。
  Choosingatimewhenherdaughterhadgonetothespring,whileVarenkahadstoppedoutsidethebaker’s,thePrincessapproachedher。
  `Allowmetomakeyouracquaintance,’shesaid,withherdignifiedsmile。`Mydaughterhaslostherhearttoyou,’shesaid。`Possiblyyoudonotknowme。Iam……’
  `Thatfeelingismorethanreciprocal,Princess,’Varenkaansweredhurriedly。
  `Whatagooddeedyoudidyesterdaytoourpoorcompatriot!’saidthePrincess。
  Varenkaflushedalittle。
  `Idon’tremember。Idon’tthinkIdidanything,’shesaid。
  `Why,yousavedthatLevinfromdisagreeableconsequences。’
  `Yes,sacompagnecalledme,andItriedtopacifyhim;he’sveryill,andwasdissatisfiedwiththedoctor。I’musedtolookingaftersuchinvalids。’
  `Yes,I’veheardyouliveatMentonewithyouraunt-Ithink-MadameStahl:Iusedtoknowherbelle-soeur。’
  `No,she’snotmyaunt。Icallhermaman,butIamnotrelatedtoher;Iwasbroughtupbyher,’answeredVarenka,flushingalittleagain。
  Thiswassosimplysaid,andsosweetwasthetruthfulandcandidexpressionofherface,thatthePrincesssawwhyKittyhadtakensuchafancytoVarenka。
  `Well,andwhat’sthisLevingoingtodo?’askedthePrincess。
  `He’sgoingaway,’answeredVarenka。
  AtthatinstantKittycameupfromthespringbeamingwithdelightbecausehermotherhadbecomeacquaintedwithherunknownfriend。
  `See,Kitty,yourintensedesiretomakefriendswithMademoiselle……’
  `Varenka,’Varenkaputinsmiling,`that’swhateveryonecallsme。’
  Kittyblushedwithpleasure,andslowly,withoutspeaking,squeezedhernewfriend’shand,whichdidnotrespondtoherpressure,butlaymotionlessinherhand。Thehanddidnotrespondtoherpressure,butthefaceofMademoiselleVarenkaglowedwithasoft,glad,thoughrathermournful,smile,thatshowedlargebuthandsometeeth。
  `Ihavelongwishedforthistoo,’shesaid。
  `But`Butyouaresobusy……’
  `Oh,noI’mnotatallbusy,’answeredVarenka,butatthatmomentshehadtoleavehernewfriendsbecausetwolittleRussiangirls,childrenofaninvalid,ranuptoher。
  `Varenka,mamma’scalling!’theycried。
  AndVarenkawentafterthem。
  TheparticularswhichthePrincesshadlearnedinregardtoVarenka’spastandherrelationswithMadameStahlwereasfollows:
  MadameStahl,ofwhomsomepeoplesaidthatshehadworriedherhusbandoutofhislife,whileotherssaiditwashewhohadmadeherwretchedbyhisimmoralbehavior,hadalwaysbeenawomanofweakhealthandenthusiastictemperament。When,afterherseparationfromherhusband,shegavebirthtoheronlychild,thechildhaddiedalmostimmediately,andthefamilyofMadameStahl,knowinghersensibilityandfearingthenewswouldkillher,hadsubstitutedanotherchild,ababybornthesamenightandinthesamehouseinPeterburg,thedaughterofthechiefcookoftheImperialHousehold。ThiswasVarenka。MadameStahllearnedlateronthatVarenkawasnotherownchild,butshewentonbringingherup,especiallyasverysoonafterwardVarenkahadnotarelationofherownliving。
  MadameStahlhadnowbeenlivingwithoutabreak,morethantenyearsabroad,inthesouth,neverleavinghercouch。AndsomepeoplesaidthatMadameStahlhadmadehersocialpositionasaphilanthropic,highlyreligiouswoman;otherpeoplesaidshereallywasatheartthehighlyethicalbeing,livingfornothingbutthegoodofherfellowcreatures,whichsherepresentedherselftobe。Nooneknewwhatherfaithwas-Catholic,Protestant,orOrthodox。Butonefactwasindubitable-shewasinamicablerelationswiththehighestdignitariesofallthechurchesandsects。
  Varenkalivedwithherallthewhileabroad,andeveryonewhoknewMadameStahlknewandlikedMademoiselleVarenka,aseveryonecalledher。
  Havinglearnedallthesefacts,thePrincessfoundnothingtoobjecttoinherdaughter’sintimacywithVarenka,moreespeciallyasVarenka’sbreedingandeducationwereofthebest-shespokeFrenchandEnglishextremelywell-and,whatwasofthemostweight,broughtamessagefromMadameStahlexpressingherregretthatshehadbeenpreventedbyherill-healthfrommakingtheacquaintanceofthePrincess。
  AftergettingtoknowVarenka,Kittybecamemoreandmorefascinatedbyherfriend,andeverydayshediscoverednewvirtuesinher。
  ThePrincess,hearingthatVarenkahadagoodvoice,askedhertocomeandsingtothemintheevening。
  `Kittyplays,andwehaveapiano;notagoodone,it’strue,butyouwillgiveussomuchpleasure,’saidthePrincesswithheraffectedsmile,whichKittydislikedparticularlyjustthen,becauseshenoticedthatVarenkahadnoinclinationtosing。Varenkacame,however,intheevening,andbroughtarollofmusicwithher。ThePrincesshadinvitedMaryaEugenyevnaandherdaughter,andthecolonel。
  Varenkaseemedquiteunaffectedbythepresenceofpersonswhomshedidnotknow,andshewentdirectlytothepiano。Shecouldnotaccompanyherself,butshecouldsingmusicatsightverywell。Kitty,whoplayedwell,accompaniedher。
  `Youhaveanextraordinarytalent,’thePrincesssaidtoherafterVarenkahadsungthefirstsongexcellently。
  MaryaEugenyevnaandherdaughterexpressedtheirthanksandadmiration。
  `Look,’saidthecolonel,lookingoutofthewindow,`whatanaudiencehascollectedtolistentoyou。’
  Thereactuallywasaconsiderablecrowdunderthewindows。
  `Iamverygladitgivesyoupleasure,’Varenkaansweredsimply。
  Kittylookedwithprideatherfriend。Shewasenchantedbyhertalent,andhervoice,andherface,butmostofallbyhermanner,byVarenka’sobviouslythinkingnothingofhersingingandbeingquiteunmovedbytheirpraise。Sheseemedonlytobeasking:`AmItosingagain,oristhatenough?’
  `IfithadbeenI,’thoughtKitty,`howproudIshouldhavebeen!HowdelightedIshouldhavebeentoseethatcrowdunderthewindows!Butshe’sutterlyunmovedbyit。Heronlymotiveistoavoidrefusingandtopleasemaman。Whatisthereabouther?Whatisitgivesherthepowertolookdownoneverything,tobecalmindependentlyofeverything?HowIshouldliketoknowit,andtolearnitfromher!’thoughtKitty,gazingintohersereneface。ThePrincessaskedVarenkatosingagain,andVarenkasanganothersong,alsosmoothly,distinctly,andwell,standingerectatthepianoandbeatingtimeonitwithherthin,dark-skinnedhand。
  ThenextsonginthebookwasanItalianone。Kittyplayedtheopeningbars,andlookedroundatVarenka。
  `Let’sskipthat,’saidVarenka,flushingalittle。
  KittylethereyesrestonVarenka’sface,withalookofdismayandinquiry。
  `Verywell,thenextone,’shesaidhurriedly,turningoverthepages,andatoncefeelingthattherewassomethingconnectedwiththesong。
  `No,’answeredVarenkawithasmile,layingherhandonthemusic,`no,let’shavethatone。’Andshesangitjustasquietly,ascoolly,andaswellastheothers。
  Whenshehadfinished,theyallthankedheragain,andwentofftotea。KittyandVarenkawentoutintothelittlegardenthatadjoinedthehouse。
  `AmIright,thatyouhavesomereminiscencesconnectedwiththatsong?’saidKitty。`Don’ttellme,’sheaddedhastily,`onlysayifI’mright。’
  `No,whynot?I’lltellyou,’saidVarenkasimply,and,withoutwaitingforareply,shewenton:`Yes,itbringsupmemories,oncepainfulones。Icaredforsomeoneonce,andIusedtosinghimthatsong。’
  Kittywithbig,wide-openeyesgazedsilently,sympatheticallyatVarenka。
  `Icaredforhim,andhecaredforme;buthismotherwasopposed,andhemarriedanothergirl。He’slivingnownotfarfromus,andIseehimsometimes。Youdidn’tthinkIhadalovestory,too,’shesaid,andtherewasafaintgleaminherhandsomefaceofthatfirewhichKittyfeltmustoncehaveglowedalloverher。
  `Ididn’tthinkso?Why,ifIwereaman,Icouldnevercareforanyoneelseafterknowingyou。OnlyIcan’tunderstandhowhecould,topleasehismother,forgetyouandmakeyouunhappy;hehadnoheart。’
  `Oh,no,he’saverygoodman,andI’mnotunhappy;quitethecontrary-I’mveryhappy。Well,weshan’tbesinginganymorenow,’sheadded,turningtowardthehouse。
  `Howgoodyouare!Howgoodyouare!’criedKitty,andstoppingher,shekissedher。`IfIcouldonlybeevenalittlelikeyou!’
  `Whyshouldyoubelikeanyone?You’relovelyasyouare,’saidVarenka,smilinghergentle,wearysmile。
  `No,I’mnotlovelyatall。Come,tellme……Stopaminute,let’ssitdown,’saidKitty,makinghersitdownagainbesideher。`Tellme,isn’tithumiliatingtothinkthatamanhasdisdainedyourlove,thathehasn’tcaredforit?……’
  `Buthedidn’tdisdainit;Ibelievehecaredforme,buthewasadutifulson……’
  `Yes,butifithadn’tbeenonaccountofhismother,ifithadbeenhisowndoing?……’saidKitty,feelingshewasgivingawayhersecret,andthatherface,burningwiththeflushofshame,hadbetrayedheralready。
  `Inthatcasehewouldhavedonewrong,andIshouldnothaveregrettedhim,’answeredVarenka,evidentlyrealizingthattheywerenowtalkingnotofher,butofKitty。
  `Butthehumiliation,’saidKitty,`thehumiliationonecanneverforget-never!’shesaid,rememberingherlookatthelastballduringthepauseinthemusic。
  `Whereisthehumiliation?Why,youdidnothingwrong?’
  `Worsethanwrong-shameful。’
  VarenkashookherheadandlaidherhandonKitty’s。
  `Why,what’sshamefulaboutit?’shesaid。`Youdidn’ttellamanwhodidn’tcareforyou,thatyoulovedhim,didyou?’
  `Ofcoursenot;Ineversaidaword,butheknewit。No,no,therearelooks,thereareways;Ican’tforgetit,ifIliveahundredyears。’
  `Whyso?Idon’tunderstand。Thewholepointiswhetheryoulovehimnowornot,’saidVarenka,whocalledeverythingbyitsname。
  `Ihatehim;Ican’tforgivemyself。’
  `Why,whatfor?’
  `Theshame,thehumiliation!’
  `Oh!ifeveryonewereassensitiveasyouare!’saidVarenka。`Thereisn’tagirlwhohasn’tbeenthroughthesame。Andit’sallsounimportant。’
  `Why,whatisimportant?’saidKitty,lookingintoherfacewithinquisitivewonder。
  `Oh,there’ssomuchthat’simportant,’saidVarenka,smiling。
  `Why,what?’
  `Oh,somuchthat’smoreimportant,’answeredVarenka,notknowingwhattosay。ButatthatinstanttheyheardthePrincess’svoicefromthewindow。`Kitty,it’scold!Eithergetashawl,orcomeindoors。’
  `Itreallyistimetogoin!’saidVarenka,gettingup。`IhavetogoontoMadameBerthe’s;sheaskedmeto。’
  Kittyheldherbythehand,andwithpassionatecuriosityandentreatyhereyesaskedher:`Whatisit,whatisthisofsuchimportance,thatgivesyousuchtranquility?Youknow,tellme!’ButVarenkadidnotevenknowwhatKitty’seyeswereaskingher。ShemerelythoughtthatshehadtogotoseeMadameBerthetoothatevening,andtomakehastehomeintimeformaman’steaattwelveo’clock。Shewentindoors,collectedhermusic,andsayinggood-bytoeveryone,wasabouttogo。
  `Allowmetoseeyouhome,’saidthecolonel。
  `Yes,howcanyougoaloneatnightlikethis?’chimedinthePrincess。`Anyway,I’llsendParasha。’
  KittysawthatVarenkacouldhardlyrestrainasmileattheideathatsheneededanescort。
  `No,Ialwaysgoaboutaloneandnothingeverhappenstome,’shesaid,takingherhat。AndkissingKittyoncemore,withoutsayingwhatwasimportant,shesteppedoutcourageouslywiththemusicunderherarmandvanishedintothetwilightofthesummernight,bearingawaywithherhersecretofwhatwasimportant,andwhatgaveherthatcalmanddignitysomuchtobeenvied。
  KittymadetheacquaintanceofMadameStahltoo,andthisacquaintance,togetherwithherfriendshipwithVarenka,didnotmerelyexerciseagreatinfluenceonher-italsocomfortedherinhermentaldistress。Shefoundthiscomfortthroughacompletelynewworldbeingopenedtoherbymeansofthisacquaintance,aworldhavingnothingincommonwithherpast;anexalted,nobleworld,fromtheheightofwhichshecouldcontemplateherpastcalmly。ItwasrevealedtoherthatbesidestheinstinctivelifetowhichKittyhadgivenherselfuphithertotherewasaspirituallife。Thislifewasdisclosedinreligion,butareligionhavingnothingincommonwiththatonewhichKittyhadknownfromchildhood,andwhichfoundexpressioninmassesandeveningservicesattheWidow’sHome,whereonemightmeetone’sfriends;andinlearningbyheartSlavonictextswiththepriest。Thiswasalofty,mysteriousreligionconnectedwithawholeseriesofnoblethoughtsandfeelings,whichonecouldnotmerelybelievebecauseonewastoldtobelieve,butwhichonecouldlove。
  Kittyfoundallthisoutnotfromwords。MadameStahltalkedtoKittyastoacharmingchildthatoneregardswithpleasure,asoneregardsthememoryofone’syouth,andonlyonceshesaidinpassingthatinallhumansorrowsnothinggivescomfortbutloveandfaith,andthatinthesightofChrist’scompassionforusnosorrowistrifling-andimmediatelytalkedofotherthings。ButineverygestureofMadameStahl,ineveryword,ineveryheavenly-asKittycalledit-look;and,aboveall,inthewholestoryofherlife,whichsheheardfromVarenka,Kittyrecognizedthatsomething`thatwasimportant,’ofwhich,tillthen,shehadknownnothing。
  Yet,elevatedasMadameStahl’scharacterwas,touchingaswasherstory,andexaltedandmovingaswasherspeech,Kittycouldnothelpdetectinginhersometraitswhichperplexedher。Shenoticedthat,whenquestioningheraboutherfamily,MadameStahlhadsmiledcontemptuously,whichwasnotinaccordwithChristianmeekness。Kittynoticed,too,thatwhenshehadfoundaCatholicpriestwithher,MadameStahlhadstudiouslykeptherfaceintheshadowofthelampshadeandhadsmiledinapeculiarway。Trivialasthesetwoobservationswere,theyperplexedher,andshehadherdoubtsastoMadameStahl。ButontheotherhandVarenka,aloneintheworld,withoutfriendsorrelations,withamelancholydisappointmentinthepast,desiringnothing,regrettingnothing,wasjustthatperfectionofwhichKittydaredhardlydream。InVarenkasherealizedthatonehasbuttoforgetoneselfandloveothers,andonewillbecalm,happyandgood。AndthatwaswhatKittylongedtobe。Seeingnowclearlywhatwasmostimportant,Kittywasnotsatisfiedwithbeingenthusiasticoverit;sheatoncegaveherselfupwithherwholesoultothenewlifethatwasopeningtoher。FromVarenka’saccountsofthedoingsofMadameStahlandotherpeoplewhomshementioned,Kittyhadalreadyconstructedtheplanofherownfuturelife。Shewould,likeMadameStahl’sniece,Aline,ofwhomVarenkahadtalkedtoheragreatdeal,seekoutthosewhowereintrouble,wherevershemightbeliving,helpthemasfarasshecould,givingthemtheGospel;shewouldreadtheGospeltothesick,tothecriminals,tothedying。TheideaofreadingtheGospeltocriminals,asAlinedid,particularlyfascinatedKitty。Butalltheseweresecretdreams,ofwhichKittydidnottalkeithertohermotherortoVarenka。
  Whileawaitingthetimeforcarryingoutherplansonalargescale,however,Kitty,eventhenatthesprings,wherethereweresomanypeopleillandunhappy,readilyfoundachanceforpracticinghernewprinciplesinimitationofVarenka。
  AtfirstthePrincessnoticednothingbutthatKittywasmuchundertheinfluenceofherengouement,asshecalledit,forMadameStahl,andstillmoreforVarenka。ShesawthatKittydidnotmerelyimitateVarenkainherconduct,butunconsciouslyimitatedherinhermannerofwalking,oftalking,ofblinkinghereyes。ButlateronthePrincessnoticedthat,apartfromthisadoration,somekindofseriousspiritualchangewastakingplaceinherdaughter。
  ThePrincesssawthatintheeveningsKittyreadaFrenchTestamentthatMadameStahlhadgivenher-athingshehadneverdonebefore;thatsheavoidedsocietyacquaintancesandassociatedwiththesickpeoplewhowereunderVarenka’sprotection,andespeciallyonepoorfamily,thatofasickpainter,Petrov。Kittywasunmistakablyproudofplayingthepartofasisterofmercyinthatfamily。Allthiswaswellenough,andthePrincesshadnothingtosayagainstit,especiallyasPetrov’swifewasaperfectlyrespectablewoman,andthattheGermanPrincess,noticingKitty’sdevotion,praisedher,callingheranangelofconsolation。Allthiswouldhavebeenverywell,iftherehadbeennoexaggeration。ButthePrincesssawthatherdaughterwasrushingintoextremes,andsoindeedshetoldher。
  `Ilnefautjamaisrienoutrer,’shesaidtoher。
  Herdaughtermadehernoreply,butinherheartshethoughtthatonecouldnottalkaboutexaggerationwhereChristianitywasconcerned。Whatexaggerationcouldtherebeinthepracticeofadoctrinewhereinonewasbiddentoturntheothercheekwhenonewassmitten,andgiveone’sshirtifone’scoatweretaken?ButthePrincessdislikedthisexaggeration,anddislikedevenmorethefactthatshefeltherdaughterdidnotcaretoshowherallherheart。Kittydidinfactconcealhernewviewsandfeelingsfromhermother。Sheconcealedthemnotbecauseshedidnotrespectordidnotlovehermother,butsimplybecauseshewashermother。Shewouldhaverevealedthemtoanyonesoonerthantohermother。
  `HowisitAnnaPavlovna’snotbeentoseeusforsolong?’thePrincesssaidoneday,referringtoMadamePetrov。`I’veaskedher,butsheseemsputoutaboutsomething。’
  `No,I’venotnoticedit,maman,’saidKitty,flushinghotly。
  `Isitlongsinceyou’vebeentoseethem?’
  `Weintendmakinganexcursiontothemountainstomorrow,’answeredKitty。
  `Well,youmaygo,’answeredthePrincess,gazingatherdaughter’sembarrassedfaceandtryingtoguessthecauseofherembarrassment。
  ThatdayVarenkacametodinnerandtoldthemthatAnnaPavlovnahadchangedhermindandgivenuptheexcursionforthemorrow。AndthePrincessnoticedagainthatKittyreddened。
  `Kitty,haven’tyouhadsomemisunderstandingwiththePetrovs?’saidthePrincess,whentheywereleftalone。`Whyhasshegivenupsendingthechildrenandcomingtoseeus?’
  Kittyansweredthatnothinghadhappenedbetweenthem,andthatshecouldnottellwhyAnnaPavlovnaseemeddispleasedwithher。Kittyansweredperfectlytruthfully。ShedidnotknowthereasonAnnaPavlovnahadchangedtowardher,butsheguessedit。Sheguessedatsomethingwhichshecouldnottellhermother,whichshedidnotputintowordstoherselfItwasoneofthosethingswhichoneknowsbutwhichonecanneverspeakofeventooneself,soterribleandshamefulwoulditbetobemistaken。
  Againandagainshewentoverinhermemoryallherrelationswiththefamily。Sherememberedthesimpledelightexpressedontheround,good-naturedfaceofAnnaPavlovnaattheirmeetings;sherememberedtheirsecretconfabulationsabouttheinvalid,theirplotstodrawhimawayfromtheworkwhichwasforbiddenhim,andtogethimoutofdoors;thedevotionoftheyoungestboy,whousedtocallher`myKitty,’andwouldnotgotobedwithouther。Howlovelyitallwas!`Thensherecalledthethin,terriblythinfigureofPetrov,withhislongneck,inhisbrowncoat,hisscant,curlyhair,hisquestioningblueeyesthatweresoterribletoKittyatfirst,andhispainfulattemptstoseemheartyandlivelyinherpresence。Sherecalledtheeffortsshehadmadeatfirsttoovercometherepugnanceshefeltforhim,asforallconsumptivepeople,andthepainsithadcosthertothinkofthingstosaytohim。Sherecalledthetimid,softenedlookwithwhichhegazedather,andthestrangefeelingofcompassionandawkwardness,andlaterofasenseofherowngoodness,whichshehadfeltatit。Howlovelyitallwas!Butallthatwasatfirst。Now,afewdaysago,everythingwassuddenlyspoiled。AnnaPavlovnahadmetKittywithaffectedcordiality,andhadkeptcontinualwatchonherandonherhusband。
  CouldthattouchingpleasureheshowedwhenshecamenearbethecauseofAnnaPavlovna’scoolness?
  `Yes,’shemused,`therewassomethingunnaturalaboutAnnaPavlovna,andutterlyunlikehergoodnature,whenshesaidangrilythedaybeforeyesterday:``There,hewillkeepwaitingforyou;hewouldn’tdrinkhiscoffeewithoutyou,thoughhe’sgrownsodreadfullyweak。’’
  `Yes,perhaps,too,shedidn’tlikeitwhenIgavehimtherug。Itwasallsosimple,buthetookitsoawkwardly,andwassolongthankingme,thatIfeltawkwardtoo。Andthenthatportraitofmehedidsowell。Andmostofallthatlookofconfusionandtenderness!Yes,yes,that’sit!’Kittyrepeatedtoherselfwithhorror。`No,itcan’tbe,itoughtn’ttobe!He’ssomuchtobepitied!’shesaidtoherselfdirectlyafter。
  Thisdoubtpoisonedthecharmofhernewlife。