“Youarefondoffighting?”heaskedcarelessly。
“No,notvery,”Svidrigailovanswered,calmly。“AndMarfaPetrovnaandIscarcelyeverfought。Welivedveryharmoniously,andshewasalwayspleasedwithme。Ionlyusedthewhiptwiceinalloursevenyearsnotcountingathirdoccasionofaveryambiguouscharacter。Thefirsttime,twomonthsafterourmarriage,immediatelyafterwearrivedinthecountry,andthelasttimewasthatofwhichwearespeaking。DidyousupposeIwassuchamonster,suchareactionary,suchaslavedriver?Ha,ha!Bytheway,doyouremember,RodionRomanovitch,howafewyearsago,inthosedaysofbeneficentpublicity,anobleman,I’veforgottenhisname,wasputtoshameeverywhere,inallthepapers,forhavingthrashedaGermanwomanintherailwaytrain。Youremember?Itwasinthosedays,thatveryyearIbelieve,the‘disgracefulactionoftheAge’tookplaceyouknow,‘TheEgyptianNights,’thatpublicreading,youremember?Thedarkeyes,youknow!Ah,thegoldendaysofouryouth,wherearethey?。Well,asforthegentlemanwhothrashedtheGerman,Ifeelnosympathywithhim,becauseafterallwhatneedisthereforsympathy?ButImustsaythattherearesometimessuchprovoking‘Germans’thatIdon’tbelievethereisaprogressivewhocouldquiteanswerforhimself。Noonelookedatthesubjectfromthatpointofviewthen,butthat’sthetrulyhumanepointofview,Iassureyou。”
Aftersayingthis,Svidrigailovbrokeintoasuddenlaughagain。Raskolnikovsawclearlythatthiswasamanwithafirmpurposeinhismindandabletokeepittohimself。
“Iexpectyou’venottalkedtoanyoneforsomedays?”heasked。
“Scarcelyanyone。Isupposeyouarewonderingatmybeingsuchanadaptableman?”
“No,Iamonlywonderingatyourbeingtooadaptableaman。”
“BecauseIamnotoffendedattherudenessofyourquestions?Isthatit?Butwhytakeoffence?Asyouasked,soIanswered,”hereplied,withasurprisingexpressionofsimplicity。“Youknow,there’shardlyanythingItakeinterestin,”hewenton,asitweredreamily,“especiallynow,I’venothingtodo。…YouarequiteatlibertytoimaginethoughthatIammakinguptoyouwithamotive,particularlyasItoldyouIwanttoseeyoursisteraboutsomething。ButI’llconfessfrankly,Iamverymuchbored。Thelastthreedaysespecially,soIamdelightedtoseeyou。…Don’tbeangry,RodionRomanovitch,butyouseemtobesomehowawfullystrangeyourself。Saywhatyoulike,there’ssomethingwrongwithyou,andnow,too…notthisveryminute,Imean,butnow,generally。…Well,well,Iwon’t,Iwon’t,don’tscowl!Iamnotsuchabear,youknow,asyouthink。”
Raskolnikovlookedgloomilyathim。
“Youarenotabear,perhaps,atall,”hesaid。“Ifancyindeedthatyouareamanofverygoodbreeding,oratleastknowhowonoccasiontobehavelikeone。”
“Iamnotparticularlyinterestedinanyone’sopinion,”Svidrigailovanswered,drylyandevenwithashadeofhaughtiness,“andthereforewhynotbevulgarattimeswhenvulgarityissuchaconvenientcloakforourclimate…andespeciallyifonehasanaturalpropensitythatway,”headded,laughingagain。
“ButI’veheardyouhavemanyfriendshere。Youare,astheysay,‘notwithoutconnections。’Whatcanyouwantwithme,then,unlessyou’vesomespecialobject?”
“That’struethatIhavefriendshere,”Svidrigailovadmitted,notreplyingtothechiefpoint。“I’vemetsomealready。I’vebeenloungingaboutforthelastthreedays,andI’veseenthem,orthey’veseenme。That’samatterofcourse。Iamwelldressedandreckonednotapoorman;theemancipationoftheserfshasn’taffectedme;mypropertyconsistschieflyofforestsandwatermeadows。Therevenuehasnotfallenoff;but…Iamnotgoingtoseethem,Iwassickofthemlongago。I’vebeenherethreedaysandhavecalledonnoone。…Whatatownitis!Howhasitcomeintoexistenceamongus,tellmethat?Atownofofficialsandstudentsofallsorts。Yes,there’sagreatdealIdidn’tnoticewhenIwashereeightyearsago,kickingupmyheels。…Myonlyhopenowisinanatomy,byJove,itis!”
“Anatomy?”
“Butasfortheseclubs,Dussauts,parades,orprogress,indeed,maybe—well,allthatcangoonwithoutme,”hewenton,againwithoutnoticingthequestion。“Besides,whowantstobeacard-sharper?”
“Why,haveyoubeenacard-sharperthen?”
“HowcouldIhelpbeing?Therewasaregularsetofus,menofthebestsociety,eightyearsago;wehadafinetime。Andallmenofbreeding,youknow,poets,menofproperty。AndindeedasaruleinourRussiansocietythebestmannersarefoundamongthosewho’vebeenthrashed,haveyounoticedthat?I’vedeterioratedinthecountry。ButIdidgetintoprisonfordebt,throughalowGreekwhocamefromNezhin。ThenMarfaPetrovnaturnedup;shebargainedwithhimandboughtmeoffforthirtythousandsilverpiecesIowedseventythousand。Wewereunitedinlawfulwedlockandsheboremeoffintothecountrylikeatreasure。YouknowshewasfiveyearsolderthanI。Shewasveryfondofme。ForsevenyearsIneverleftthecountry。And,takenote,thatallmylifesheheldadocumentoverme,theIOUforthirtythousandroubles,soifIweretoelecttoberestiveaboutanythingIshouldbetrappedatonce!Andshewouldhavedoneit!Womenfindnothingincompatibleinthat。”
“Ifithadn’tbeenforthat,wouldyouhavegivenhertheslip?”
“Idon’tknowwhattosay。Itwasscarcelythedocumentrestrainedme。Ididn’twanttogoanywhereelse。MarfaPetrovnaherselfinvitedmetogoabroad,seeingIwasbored,butI’vebeenabroadbefore,andalwaysfeltsickthere。Fornoreason,butthesunrise,thebayofNaples,thesea—youlookatthemanditmakesyousad。What’smostrevoltingisthatoneisreallysad!No,it’sbetterathome。Hereatleastoneblamesothersforeverythingandexcusesoneself。IshouldhavegoneperhapsonanexpeditiontotheNorthPole,becausej’ailevinmauvaisandhatedrinking,andthere’snothingleftbutwine。Ihavetriedit。But,Isay,I’vebeentoldBergisgoingupinagreatballoonnextSundayfromtheYusupovGardenandwilltakeuppassengersatafee。Isittrue?”
“Why,wouldyougoup?”
“I…No,oh,no,”mutteredSvidrigailovreallyseemingtobedeepinthought。
“Whatdoeshemean?Isheinearnest?”Raskolnikovwondered。
“No,thedocumentdidn’trestrainme,”Svidrigailovwenton,meditatively。“Itwasmyowndoing,notleavingthecountry,andnearlyayearagoMarfaPetrovnagavemebackthedocumentonmyname-dayandmademeapresentofaconsiderablesumofmoney,too。Shehadafortune,youknow。‘YouseehowItrustyou,ArkadyIvanovitch’—thatwasactuallyherexpression。Youdon’tbelievesheusedit?ButdoyouknowImanagedtheestatequitedecently,theyknowmeintheneighbourhood。Iorderedbooks,too。MarfaPetrovnaatfirstapproved,butafterwardsshewasafraidofmyover-studying。”
“YouseemtobemissingMarfaPetrovnaverymuch?”
“Missingher?Perhaps。Really,perhapsIam。And,bytheway,doyoubelieveinghosts?”
“Whatghosts?”
“Why,ordinaryghosts。”
“Doyoubelieveinthem?”
“Perhapsnot,pourvousplaire。…Iwouldn’tsaynoexactly。”
“Doyouseethem,then?”
Svidrigailovlookedathimratheroddly。
“MarfaPetrovnaispleasedtovisitme,”hesaid,twistinghismouthintoastrangesmile。
“Howdoyoumean‘sheispleasedtovisityou’?”
“Shehasbeenthreetimes。Isawherfirstontheverydayofthefuneral,anhouraftershewasburied。ItwasthedaybeforeIlefttocomehere。Thesecondtimewasthedaybeforeyesterday,atdaybreak,onthejourneyatthestationofMalayaVishera,andthethirdtimewastwohoursagointheroomwhereIamstaying。Iwasalone。”
“Wereyouawake?”
“Quiteawake。Iwaswideawakeeverytime。Shecomes,speakstomeforaminuteandgoesoutatthedoor—alwaysatthedoor。Icanalmosthearher。”
“Whatmademethinkthatsomethingofthesortmustbehappeningtoyou?”Raskolnikovsaidsuddenly。
Atthesamemomenthewassurprisedathavingsaidit。Hewasmuchexcited。
“What!Didyouthinkso?”Svidrigailovaskedinastonishment。“Didyoureally?Didn’tIsaythattherewassomethingincommonbetweenus,eh?”
“Youneversaidso!”Raskolnikovcriedsharplyandwithheat。
“Didn’tI?”
“No!”
“IthoughtIdid。WhenIcameinandsawyoulyingwithyoureyesshut,pretending,Isaidtomyselfatonce,‘Here’stheman。’”
“Whatdoyoumeanby‘theman?’Whatareyoutalkingabout?”criedRaskolnikov。
“WhatdoImean?Ireallydon’tknow。…”Svidrigailovmutteredingenuously,asthoughhe,too,werepuzzled。
Foraminutetheyweresilent。Theystaredineachother’sfaces。
“That’sallnonsense!”Raskolnikovshoutedwithvexation。“Whatdoesshesaywhenshecomestoyou?”
“She!Wouldyoubelieveit,shetalksofthesilliesttriflesand—manisastrangecreature—itmakesmeangry。ThefirsttimeshecameinIwastiredyouknow:thefuneralservice,thefuneralceremony,thelunchafterwards。AtlastIwasleftaloneinmystudy。Ilightedacigarandbegantothink,shecameinatthedoor。‘You’vebeensobusyto-day,ArkadyIvanovitch,youhaveforgottentowindthedining-roomclock,’shesaid。AllthosesevenyearsI’vewoundthatclockeveryweek,andifIforgotitshewouldalwaysremindme。ThenextdayIsetoffonmywayhere。Igotoutatthestationatdaybreak;I’dbeenasleep,tiredout,withmyeyeshalfopen,Iwasdrinkingsomecoffee。IlookedupandtherewassuddenlyMarfaPetrovnasittingbesidemewithapackofcardsinherhands。‘ShallItellyourfortuneforthejourney,ArkadyIvanovitch?’Shewasagreathandattellingfortunes。Ishallneverforgivemyselffornotaskingherto。Iranawayinafright,and,besides,thebellrang。Iwassittingto-day,feelingveryheavyafteramiserabledinnerfromacookshop;Iwassittingsmoking,allofasuddenMarfaPetrovnaagain。Shecameinverysmartinanewgreensilkdresswithalongtrain。‘Goodday,ArkadyIvanovitch!Howdoyoulikemydress?Aniskacan’tmakelikethis。’Aniskawasadressmakerinthecountry,oneofourformerserfgirlswhohadbeentrainedinMoscow,aprettywench。Shestoodturningroundbeforeme。Ilookedatthedress,andthenIlookedcarefully,verycarefully,atherface。‘Iwonderyoutroubletocometomeaboutsuchtrifles,MarfaPetrovna。’‘Goodgracious,youwon’tletonedisturbyouaboutanything!’ToteaseherIsaid,‘Iwanttogetmarried,MarfaPetrovna。’‘That’sjustlikeyou,ArkadyIvanovitch;itdoesyouverylittlecredittocomelookingforabridewhenyou’vehardlyburiedyourwife。Andifyoucouldmakeagoodchoice,atleast,butIknowitwon’tbeforyourhappinessorhers,youwillonlybealaughing-stocktoallgoodpeople。’Thenshewentoutandhertrainseemedtorustle。Isn’titnonsense,eh?”
“Butperhapsyouaretellinglies?”Raskolnikovputin。
“Irarelylie,”answeredSvidrigailovthoughtfully,apparentlynotnoticingtherudenessofthequestion。
“Andinthepast,haveyoueverseenghostsbefore?”
“Y-yes,Ihaveseenthem,butonlyonceinmylife,sixyearsago。Ihadaserf,Filka;justafterhisburialIcalledoutforgetting‘Filka,mypipe!’Hecameinandwenttothecupboardwheremypipeswere。Isatstillandthought‘heisdoingitoutofrevenge,’becausewehadaviolentquarreljustbeforehisdeath。‘Howdareyoucomeinwithaholeinyourelbow?’Isaid。‘Goaway,youscamp!’Heturnedandwentout,andnevercameagain。Ididn’ttellMarfaPetrovnaatthetime。Iwantedtohaveaservicesungforhim,butIwasashamed。”
“Youshouldgotoadoctor。”
“IknowIamnotwell,withoutyourtellingme,thoughIdon’tknowwhat’swrong;IbelieveIamfivetimesasstrongasyouare。Ididn’taskyouwhetheryoubelievethatghostsareseen,butwhetheryoubelievethattheyexist。”
“No,Iwon’tbelieveit!”Raskolnikovcried,withpositiveanger。
“Whatdopeoplegenerallysay?”mutteredSvidrigailov,asthoughspeakingtohimself,lookingasideandbowinghishead。“Theysay,‘Youareill,sowhatappearstoyouisonlyunrealfantasy。’Butthat’snotstrictlylogical。Iagreethatghostsonlyappeartothesick,butthatonlyprovesthattheyareunabletoappearexcepttothesick,notthattheydon’texist。”
“Nothingofthesort,”Raskolnikovinsistedirritably。
“No?Youdon’tthinkso?”Svidrigailovwenton,lookingathimdeliberately。“Butwhatdoyousaytothisargumenthelpmewithit:ghostsare,asitwere,shredsandfragmentsofotherworlds,thebeginningofthem。Amaninhealthhas,ofcourse,noreasontoseethem,becauseheisaboveallamanofthisearthandisboundforthesakeofcompletenessandordertoliveonlyinthislife。Butassoonasoneisill,assoonasthenormalearthlyorderoftheorganismisbroken,onebeginstorealisethepossibilityofanotherworld;andthemoreseriouslyilloneis,thecloserbecomesone’scontactwiththatotherworld,sothatassoonasthemandieshestepsstraightintothatworld。Ithoughtofthatlongago。Ifyoubelieveinafuturelife,youcouldbelieveinthat,too。”
“Idon’tbelieveinafuturelife,”saidRaskolnikov。
Svidrigailovsatlostinthought。
“Andwhatifthereareonlyspidersthere,orsomethingofthatsort,”hesaidsuddenly。
“Heisamadman,”thoughtRaskolnikov。
“Wealwaysimagineeternityassomethingbeyondourconception,somethingvast,vast!Butwhymustitbevast?Insteadofallthat,whatifit’sonelittleroom,likeabathhouseinthecountry,blackandgrimyandspidersineverycorner,andthat’salleternityis?Isometimesfancyitlikethat。”
“Canitbeyoucanimaginenothingjusterandmorecomfortingthanthat?”Raskolnikovcried,withafeelingofanguish。
“Juster?Andhowcanwetell,perhapsthatisjust,anddoyouknowit’swhatIwouldcertainlyhavemadeit,”answeredSvidrigailov,withavaguesmile。
ThishorribleanswersentacoldchillthroughRaskolnikov。Svidrigailovraisedhishead,lookedathim,andsuddenlybeganlaughing。
“Onlythink,”hecried,“halfanhouragowehadneverseeneachother,weregardedeachotherasenemies;thereisamatterunsettledbetweenus;we’vethrownitaside,andawaywe’vegoneintotheabstract!Wasn’tIrightinsayingthatwewerebirdsofafeather?”
“Kindlyallowme,”Raskolnikovwentonirritably,“toaskyoutoexplainwhyyouhavehonouredmewithyourvisit…and…andIaminahurry,Ihavenotimetowaste。Iwanttogoout。”
“Byallmeans,byallmeans。Yoursister,AvdotyaRomanovna,isgoingtobemarriedtoMr。Luzhin,PyotrPetrovitch?”
“Canyourefrainfromanyquestionaboutmysisterandfrommentioninghername?Ican’tunderstandhowyoudareutterhernameinmypresence,ifyoureallyareSvidrigailov。”
“Why,butI’vecomeheretospeakabouther;howcanIavoidmentioningher?”
“Verygood,speak,butmakehaste。”
“IamsurethatyoumusthaveformedyourownopinionofthisMr。Luzhin,whoisaconnectionofminethroughmywife,ifyouhaveonlyseenhimforhalfanhour,orheardanyfactsabouthim。HeisnomatchforAvdotyaRomanovna。IbelieveAvdotyaRomanovnaissacrificingherselfgenerouslyandimprudentlyforthesakeof…forthesakeofherfamily。IfanciedfromallIhadheardofyouthatyouwouldbeverygladifthematchcouldbebrokenoffwithoutthesacrificeofworldlyadvantages。NowIknowyoupersonally,Iamconvincedofit。”
“Allthisisverynaive…excuseme,Ishouldhavesaidimpudentonyourpart,”saidRaskolnikov。
“YoumeantosaythatIamseekingmyownends。Don’tbeuneasy,RodionRomanovitch,ifIwereworkingformyownadvantage,Iwouldnothavespokenoutsodirectly。Iamnotquiteafool。Iwillconfesssomethingpsychologicallycuriousaboutthat:justnow,defendingmyloveforAvdotyaRomanovna,IsaidIwasmyselfthevictim。Well,letmetellyouthatI’venofeelingoflovenow,nottheslightest,sothatIwondermyselfindeed,forIreallydidfeelsomething…”
“Throughidlenessanddepravity,”Raskolnikovputin。
“Icertainlyamidleanddepraved,butyoursisterhassuchqualitiesthatevenIcouldnothelpbeingimpressedbythem。Butthat’sallnonsense,asIseemyselfnow。”
“Haveyouseenthatlong?”
“Ibegantobeawareofitbefore,butwasonlyperfectlysureofitthedaybeforeyesterday,almostatthemomentIarrivedinPetersburg。IstillfanciedinMoscow,though,thatIwascomingtotrytogetAvdotyaRomanovna’shandandtocutoutMr。Luzhin。”
“Excusemeforinterruptingyou;kindlybebrief,andcometotheobjectofyourvisit。Iaminahurry,Iwanttogoout…”
“Withthegreatestpleasure。Onarrivinghereanddeterminingonacertain…journey,Ishouldliketomakesomenecessarypreliminaryarrangements。Ileftmychildrenwithanaunt;theyarewellprovidedfor;andtheyhavenoneedofmepersonally。AndanicefatherIshouldmake,too!IhavetakennothingbutwhatMarfaPetrovnagavemeayearago。That’senoughforme。Excuseme,Iamjustcomingtothepoint。Beforethejourneywhichmaycomeoff,IwanttosettleMr。Luzhin,too。It’snotthatIdetesthimsomuch,butitwasthroughhimIquarrelledwithMarfaPetrovnawhenIlearnedthatshehaddishedupthismarriage。IwantnowtoseeAvdotyaRomanovnathroughyourmediation,andifyoulikeinyourpresence,toexplaintoherthatinthefirstplaceshewillnevergainanythingbutharmfromMr。Luzhin。Then,beggingherpardonforallpastunpleasantness,tomakeherapresentoftenthousandroublesandsoassisttherupturewithMr。Luzhin,arupturetowhichIbelievesheisherselfnotdisinclined,ifshecouldseethewaytoit。”
“Youarecertainlymad,”criedRaskolnikovnotsomuchangeredasastonished。“Howdareyoutalklikethat!”
“Iknewyouwouldscreamatme;butinthefirstplace,thoughIamnotrich,thistenthousandroublesisperfectlyfree;Ihaveabsolutelynoneedforit。IfAvdotyaRomanovnadoesnotacceptit,Ishallwasteitinsomemorefoolishway。That’sthefirstthing。Secondly,myconscienceisperfectlyeasy;Imaketheofferwithnoulteriormotive。Youmaynotbelieveit,butintheendAvdotyaRomanovnaandyouwillknow。Thepointis,thatIdidactuallycauseyoursister,whomIgreatlyrespect,sometroubleandunpleasantness,andso,sincerelyregrettingit,Iwant—nottocompensate,nottorepayherfortheunpleasantness,butsimplytodosomethingtoheradvantage,toshowthatIamnot,afterall,privilegedtodonothingbutharm。Iftherewereamillionthfractionofself-interestinmyoffer,Ishouldnothavemadeitsoopenly;andIshouldnothaveofferedhertenthousandonly,whenfiveweeksagoIofferedhermore,Besides,Imay,perhaps,verysoonmarryayounglady,andthataloneoughttopreventsuspicionofanydesignonAvdotyaRomanovna。Inconclusion,letmesaythatinmarryingMr。Luzhin,sheistakingmoneyjustthesame,onlyfromanotherman。Don’tbeangry,RodionRomanovitch,thinkitovercoollyandquietly。”
Svidrigailovhimselfwasexceedinglycoolandquietashewassayingthis。
“Ibegyoutosaynomore,”saidRaskolnikov。“Inanycasethisisunpardonableimpertinence。”
“Notintheleast。Thenamanmaydonothingbutharmtohisneighbourinthisworld,andispreventedfromdoingthetiniestbitofgoodbytrivialconventionalformalities。That’sabsurd。IfIdied,forinstance,andleftthatsumtoyoursisterinmywill,surelyshewouldn’trefuseit?”
“Verylikelyshewould。”
“Oh,no,indeed。However,ifyourefuseit,sobeit,thoughtenthousandroublesisacapitalthingtohaveonoccasion。InanycaseIbegyoutorepeatwhatIhavesaidtoAvdotyaRomanovna。”
“No,Iwon’t。”
“Inthatcase,RodionRomanovitch,Ishallbeobligedtotryandseehermyselfandworryherbydoingso。”
“AndifIdotellher,willyounottrytoseeher?”
“Idon’tknowreallywhattosay。Ishouldlikeverymuchtoseeheroncemore。”
“Don’thopeforit。”
“I’msorry。Butyoudon’tknowme。Perhapswemaybecomebetterfriends。”
“Youthinkwemaybecomefriends?”
“Andwhynot?”Svidrigailovsaid,smiling。Hestoodupandtookhishat。“Ididn’tquiteintendtodisturbyouandIcameherewithoutreckoningonit…thoughIwasverymuchstruckbyyourfacethismorning。”
“Wheredidyouseemethismorning?”Raskolnikovaskeduneasily。
“Isawyoubychance。…Ikeptfancyingthereissomethingaboutyoulikeme。…Butdon’tbeuneasy。Iamnotintrusive;Iusedtogetonallrightwithcard-sharpers,andIneverboredPrinceSvirbey,agreatpersonagewhoisadistantrelationofmine,andIcouldwriteaboutRaphael’sMadonnainMadamPrilukov’salbum,andIneverleftMarfaPetrovna’ssideforsevenyears,andIusedtostaythenightatViazemsky’shouseintheHayMarketintheolddays,andImaygoupinaballoonwithBerg,perhaps。”
“Oh,allright。Areyoustartingsoononyourtravels,mayIask?”
“Whattravels?”
“Why,onthat‘journey’;youspokeofityourself。”
“Ajourney?Oh,yes。Ididspeakofajourney。Well,that’sawidesubject。…ifonlyyouknewwhatyouareasking,”headded,andgaveasudden,loud,shortlaugh。“PerhapsI’llgetmarriedinsteadofthejourney。They’remakingamatchforme。”
“Here?”
“Yes。”
“Howhaveyouhadtimeforthat?”
“ButIamveryanxioustoseeAvdotyaRomanovnaonce。Iearnestlybegit。Well,good-byeforthepresent。Oh,yes。Ihaveforgottensomething。Tellyoursister,RodionRomanovitch,thatMarfaPetrovnarememberedherinherwillandleftherthreethousandroubles。That’sabsolutelycertain。MarfaPetrovnaarrangeditaweekbeforeherdeath,anditwasdoneinmypresence。AvdotyaRomanovnawillbeabletoreceivethemoneyintwoorthreeweeks。”
“Areyoutellingthetruth?”
“Yes,tellher。Well,yourservant。Iamstayingverynearyou。”
Ashewentout,SvidrigailovranupagainstRazumihininthedoorway。
Itwasnearlyeighto’clock。ThetwoyoungmenhurriedtoBakaleyev’s,toarrivebeforeLuzhin。
“Why,whowasthat?”askedRazumihin,assoonastheywereinthestreet。
“ItwasSvidrigailov,thatlandownerinwhosehousemysisterwasinsultedwhenshewastheirgoverness。Throughhispersecutingherwithhisattentions,shewasturnedoutbyhiswife,MarfaPetrovna。ThisMarfaPetrovnabeggedDounia’sforgivenessafterwards,andshe’sjustdiedsuddenly。Itwasofherweweretalkingthismorning。Idon’tknowwhyI’mafraidofthatman。Hecamehereatonceafterhiswife’sfuneral。Heisverystrange,andisdeterminedondoingsomething。…WemustguardDouniafromhim…that’swhatIwantedtotellyou,doyouhear?”
“Guardher!WhatcanhedotoharmAvdotyaRomanovna?Thankyou,Rodya,forspeakingtomelikethat。…Wewill,wewillguardher。Wheredoeshelive?”
“Idon’tknow。”
“Whydidn’tyouask?Whatapity!I’llfindout,though。”
“Didyouseehim?”askedRaskolnikovafterapause。
“Yes,Inoticedhim,Inoticedhimwell。”
“Youdidreallyseehim?Yousawhimclearly?”Raskolnikovinsisted。
“Yes,Irememberhimperfectly,Ishouldknowhiminathousand;Ihaveagoodmemoryforfaces。”
Theyweresilentagain。
“Hm!…that’sallright,”mutteredRaskolnikov。“Doyouknow,Ifancied…Ikeepthinkingthatitmayhavebeenanhallucination。”
“Whatdoyoumean?Idon’tunderstandyou。”
“Well,youallsay,”Raskolnikovwenton,twistinghismouthintoasmile,“thatIammad。IthoughtjustnowthatperhapsIreallyammad,andhaveonlyseenaphantom。”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Why,whocantell?PerhapsIamreallymad,andperhapseverythingthathappenedallthesedaysmaybeonlyimagination。”
“Ach,Rodya,youhavebeenupsetagain!…Butwhatdidhesay,whatdidhecomefor?”
Raskolnikovdidnotanswer。Razumihinthoughtaminute。
“Nowletmetellyoumystory,”hebegan,“Icametoyou,youwereasleep。ThenwehaddinnerandthenIwenttoPorfiry’s,Zametovwasstillwithhim。Itriedtobegin,butitwasnouse。Icouldn’tspeakintherightway。Theydon’tseemtounderstandandcan’tunderstand,butarenotabitashamed。IdrewPorfirytothewindow,andbegantalkingtohim,butitwasstillnouse。HelookedawayandIlookedaway。AtlastIshookmyfistinhisuglyface,andtoldhimasacousinI’dbrainhim。Hemerelylookedatme,Icursedandcameaway。Thatwasall。Itwasverystupid。ToZametovIdidn’tsayaword。But,yousee,IthoughtI’dmadeamessofit,butasIwentdownstairsabrilliantideastruckme:whyshouldwetrouble?Ofcourseifyouwereinanydangeroranything,butwhyneedyoucare?Youneedn’tcareahangforthem。Weshallhavealaughatthemafterwards,andifIwereinyourplaceI’dmystifythemmorethanever。Howashamedthey’llbeafterwards!Hangthem!Wecanthrashthemafterwards,butlet’slaughatthemnow!”
“Tobesure,”answeredRaskolnikov。“Butwhatwillyousayto-morrow?”hethoughttohimself。Strangetosay,tillthatmomentithadneveroccurredtohimtowonderwhatRazumihinwouldthinkwhenheknew。Ashethoughtit,Raskolnikovlookedathim。Razumihin’saccountofhisvisittoPorfiryhadverylittleinterestforhim,somuchhadcomeandgonesincethen。
InthecorridortheycameuponLuzhin;hehadarrivedpunctuallyateight,andwaslookingforthenumber,sothatallthreewentintogetherwithoutgreetingorlookingatoneanother。Theyoungmenwalkedinfirst,whilePyotrPetrovitch,forgoodmanners,lingeredalittleinthepassage,takingoffhiscoat。PulcheriaAlexandrovnacameforwardatoncetogreethiminthedoorway,Douniawaswelcomingherbrother。PyotrPetrovitchwalkedinandquiteamiably,thoughwithredoubleddignity,bowedtotheladies。Helooked,however,asthoughhewerealittleputoutandcouldnotyetrecoverhimself。PulcheriaAlexandrovna,whoseemedalsoalittleembarrassed,hastenedtomakethemallsitdownattheroundtablewhereasamovarwasboiling。DouniaandLuzhinwerefacingoneanotheronoppositesidesofthetable。RazumihinandRaskolnikovwerefacingPulcheriaAlexandrovna,RazumihinwasnexttoLuzhinandRaskolnikovwasbesidehissister。
Amoment’ssilencefollowed。PyotrPetrovitchdeliberatelydrewoutacambrichandkerchiefreekingofscentandblewhisnosewithanairofabenevolentmanwhofelthimselfslighted,andwasfirmlyresolvedtoinsistonanexplanation。Inthepassagetheideahadoccurredtohimtokeeponhisovercoatandwalkaway,andsogivethetwoladiesasharpandemphaticlessonandmakethemfeelthegravityoftheposition。Buthecouldnotbringhimselftodothis。Besides,hecouldnotendureuncertainty,andhewantedanexplanation:ifhisrequesthadbeensoopenlydisobeyed,therewassomethingbehindit,andinthatcaseitwasbettertofinditoutbeforehand;itrestedwithhimtopunishthemandtherewouldalwaysbetimeforthat。
“Itrustyouhadafavourablejourney,”heinquiredofficiallyofPulcheriaAlexandrovna。
“Oh,very,PyotrPetrovitch。”
“Iamgratifiedtohearit。AndAvdotyaRomanovnaisnotover-fatiguedeither?”
“Iamyoungandstrong,Idon’tgettired,butitwasagreatstrainformother,”answeredDounia。
“That’sunavoidable!ournationalrailwaysareofterriblelength。‘MotherRussia,’astheysay,isavastcountry。…Inspiteofallmydesiretodoso,Iwasunabletomeetyouyesterday。ButItrustallpassedoffwithoutinconvenience?”
“Oh,no,PyotrPetrovitch,itwasallterriblydisheartening,”PulcheriaAlexandrovnahastenedtodeclarewithpeculiarintonation,“andifDmitriProkofitchhadnotbeensentus,IreallybelievebyGodHimself,weshouldhavebeenutterlylost。Here,heis!DmitriProkofitchRazumihin,”sheadded,introducinghimtoLuzhin。
“Ihadthepleasure…yesterday,”mutteredPyotrPetrovitchwithahostileglancesidelongatRazumihin;thenhescowledandwassilent。
PyotrPetrovitchbelongedtothatclassofpersons,onthesurfaceverypoliteinsociety,whomakeagreatpointofpunctiliousness,butwho,directlytheyarecrossedinanything,arecompletelydisconcerted,andbecomemorelikesacksofflourthanelegantandlivelymenofsociety。Againallwassilent;Raskolnikovwasobstinatelymute,AvdotyaRomanovnawasunwillingtoopentheconversationtoosoon。Razumihinhadnothingtosay,soPulcheriaAlexandrovnawasanxiousagain。
“MarfaPetrovnaisdead,haveyouheard?”shebeganhavingrecoursetoherleadingitemofconversation。
“Tobesure,Iheardso。Iwasimmediatelyinformed,andIhavecometomakeyouacquaintedwiththefactthatArkadyIvanovitchSvidrigailovsetoffinhasteforPetersburgimmediatelyafterhiswife’sfuneral。SoatleastIhaveexcellentauthorityforbelieving。”
“ToPetersburg?here?”Douniaaskedinalarmandlookedathermother。
“Yes,indeed,anddoubtlessnotwithoutsomedesign,havinginviewtherapidityofhisdeparture,andallthecircumstancesprecedingit。”
“Goodheavens!won’theleaveDouniainpeaceevenhere?”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna。
“IimaginethatneitheryounorAvdotyaRomanovnahaveanygroundsforuneasiness,unless,ofcourse,youareyourselvesdesirousofgettingintocommunicationwithhim。FormypartIamonmyguard,andamnowdiscoveringwhereheislodging。”
“Oh,PyotrPetrovitch,youwouldnotbelievewhatafrightyouhavegivenme,”PulcheriaAlexandrovnawenton:“I’veonlyseenhimtwice,butIthoughthimterrible,terrible!IamconvincedthathewasthecauseofMarfaPetrovna’sdeath。”
“It’simpossibletobecertainaboutthat。Ihavepreciseinformation。Idonotdisputethathemayhavecontributedtoacceleratethecourseofeventsbythemoralinfluence,sotosay,oftheaffront;butastothegeneralconductandmoralcharacteristicsofthatpersonage,Iaminagreementwithyou。Idonotknowwhetherheiswelloffnow,andpreciselywhatMarfaPetrovnalefthim;thiswillbeknowntomewithinaveryshortperiod;butnodoubthereinPetersburg,ifhehasanypecuniaryresources,hewillrelapseatonceintohisoldways。Heisthemostdepraved,andabjectlyviciousspecimenofthatclassofmen。IhaveconsiderablereasontobelievethatMarfaPetrovna,whowassounfortunateastofallinlovewithhimandtopayhisdebtseightyearsago,wasofservicetohimalsoinanotherway。Solelybyherexertionsandsacrifices,acriminalcharge,involvinganelementoffantasticandhomicidalbrutalityforwhichhemightwellhavebeensentencedtoSiberia,washushedup。That’sthesortofmanheis,ifyoucaretoknow。”
“Goodheavens!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna。Raskolnikovlistenedattentively。
“Areyouspeakingthetruthwhenyousaythatyouhavegoodevidenceofthis?”Douniaaskedsternlyandemphatically。
“IonlyrepeatwhatIwastoldinsecretbyMarfaPetrovna。Imustobservethatfromthelegalpointofviewthecasewasfarfromclear。Therewas,andIbelievestillis,livinghereawomancalledResslich,aforeigner,wholentsmallsumsofmoneyatinterest,anddidothercommissions,andwiththiswomanSvidrigailovhadforalongwhilecloseandmysteriousrelations。Shehadarelation,anieceIbelieve,livingwithher,adeafanddumbgirloffifteen,orperhapsnotmorethanfourteen。Resslichhatedthisgirl,andgrudgedhereverycrust;sheusedtobeathermercilessly。Onedaythegirlwasfoundhanginginthegarret。Attheinquesttheverdictwassuicide。Aftertheusualproceedingsthematterended,but,lateron,informationwasgiventhatthechildhadbeen…cruellyoutragedbySvidrigailov。Itistrue,thiswasnotclearlyestablished,theinformationwasgivenbyanotherGermanwomanofloosecharacterwhosewordcouldnotbetrusted;nostatementwasactuallymadetothepolice,thankstoMarfaPetrovna’smoneyandexertions;itdidnotgetbeyondgossip。Andyetthestoryisaverysignificantone。Youheard,nodoubt,AvdotyaRomanovna,whenyouwerewiththemthestoryoftheservantPhilipwhodiedofilltreatmenthereceivedsixyearsago,beforetheabolitionofserfdom。”
“Iheard,onthecontrary,thatthisPhiliphangedhimself。”
“Quiteso,butwhatdrovehim,orratherperhapsdisposedhim,tosuicidewasthesystematicpersecutionandseverityofMr。Svidrigailov。”
“Idon’tknowthat,”answeredDounia,dryly。“IonlyheardaqueerstorythatPhilipwasasortofhypochondriac,asortofdomesticphilosopher,theservantsusedtosay,‘hereadhimselfsilly,’andthathehangedhimselfpartlyonaccountofMr。Svidrigailov’smockeryofhimandnothisblows。WhenIwastherehebehavedwelltotheservants,andtheywereactuallyfondofhim,thoughtheycertainlydidblamehimforPhilip’sdeath。”
“Iperceive,AvdotyaRomanovna,thatyouseemdisposedtoundertakehisdefenceallofasudden,”Luzhinobserved,twistinghislipsintoanambiguoussmile,“there’snodoubtthatheisanastuteman,andinsinuatingwhereladiesareconcerned,ofwhichMarfaPetrovna,whohasdiedsostrangely,isaterribleinstance。Myonlydesirehasbeentobeofservicetoyouandyourmotherwithmyadvice,inviewoftherenewedeffortswhichmaycertainlybeanticipatedfromhim。Formypartit’smyfirmconviction,thathewillendinadebtor’sprisonagain。MarfaPetrovnahadnottheslightestintentionofsettlinganythingsubstantialonhim,havingregardforhischildren’sinterests,and,ifshelefthimanything,itwouldonlybethemerestsufficiency,somethinginsignificantandephemeral,whichwouldnotlastayearforamanofhishabits。”
“PyotrPetrovitch,Ibegyou,”saidDounia,“saynomoreofMr。Svidrigailov。Itmakesmemiserable。”
“Hehasjustbeentoseeme,”saidRaskolnikov,breakinghissilenceforthefirsttime。
Therewereexclamationsfromall,andtheyallturnedtohim。EvenPyotrPetrovitchwasroused。
“Anhourandahalfago,hecameinwhenIwasasleep,wakedme,andintroducedhimself,”Raskolnikovcontinued。“Hewasfairlycheerfulandatease,andquitehopesthatweshallbecomefriends。Heisparticularlyanxious,bytheway,Dounia,foraninterviewwithyou,atwhichheaskedmetoassist。Hehasapropositiontomaketoyou,andhetoldmeaboutit。Hetoldme,too,thataweekbeforeherdeathMarfaPetrovnaleftyouthreethousandroublesinherwill,Dounia,andthatyoucanreceivethemoneyveryshortly。”
“ThankGod!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna,crossingherself。“Prayforhersoul,Dounia!”
“It’safact!”brokefromLuzhin。
“Tellus,whatmore?”DouniaurgedRaskolnikov。
“Thenhesaidthathewasn’trichandalltheestatewaslefttohischildrenwhoarenowwithanaunt,thenthathewasstayingsomewherenotfarfromme,butwhere,Idon’tknow,Ididn’task。…”
“Butwhat,whatdoeshewanttoproposetoDounia?”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovnainafright。“Didhetellyou?”
“Yes。”
“Whatwasit?”
“I’lltellyouafterwards。”
Raskolnikovceasedspeakingandturnedhisattentiontohistea。
PyotrPetrovitchlookedathiswatch。
“Iamcompelledtokeepabusinessengagement,andsoIshallnotbeinyourway,”headdedwithanairofsomepiqueandhebegangettingup。
“Don’tgo,PyotrPetrovitch,”saidDounia,“youintendedtospendtheevening。Besides,youwroteyourselfthatyouwantedtohaveanexplanationwithmother。”
“Preciselyso,AvdotyaRomanovna,”PyotrPetrovitchansweredimpressively,sittingdownagain,butstillholdinghishat。“Icertainlydesiredanexplanationwithyouandyourhonouredmotheruponaveryimportantpointindeed。ButasyourbrothercannotspeakopenlyinmypresenceofsomeproposalsofMr。Svidrigailov,I,too,donotdesireandamnotabletospeakopenly…inthepresenceofothers…ofcertainmattersofthegreatestgravity。Moreover,mymostweightyandurgentrequesthasbeendisregarded。…”
Assuminganaggrievedair,Luzhinrelapsedintodignifiedsilence。
“Yourrequestthatmybrothershouldnotbepresentatourmeetingwasdisregardedsolelyatmyinstance,”saidDounia。“Youwrotethatyouhadbeeninsultedbymybrother;Ithinkthatthismustbeexplainedatonce,andyoumustbereconciled。AndifRodyareallyhasinsultedyou,thenheshouldandwillapologise。”
PyotrPetrovitchtookastrongerline。
“Thereareinsults,AvdotyaRomanovna,whichnogoodwillcanmakeusforget。Thereisalineineverythingwhichitisdangeroustooverstep;andwhenithasbeenoverstepped,thereisnoreturn。”
“Thatwasn’twhatIwasspeakingofexactly,PyotrPetrovitch,”Douniainterruptedwithsomeimpatience。“Pleaseunderstandthatourwholefuturedependsnowonwhetherallthisisexplainedandsetrightassoonaspossible。ItellyoufranklyatthestartthatIcannotlookatitinanyotherlight,andifyouhavetheleastregardforme,allthisbusinessmustbeendedto-day,howeverhardthatmaybe。Irepeatthatifmybrotheristoblamehewillaskyourforgiveness。”
“Iamsurprisedatyourputtingthequestionlikethat,”saidLuzhin,gettingmoreandmoreirritated。“Esteeming,andsotosay,adoringyou,Imayatthesametime,verywellindeed,beabletodislikesomememberofyourfamily。ThoughIlayclaimtothehappinessofyourhand,Icannotacceptdutiesincompatiblewith…”
“Ah,don’tbesoreadytotakeoffence,PyotrPetrovitch,”Douniainterruptedwithfeeling,“andbethesensibleandgenerousmanIhavealwaysconsidered,andwishtoconsider,youtobe。I’vegivenyouagreatpromise,Iamyourbetrothed。Trustmeinthismatterand,believeme,Ishallbecapableofjudgingimpartially。Myassumingthepartofjudgeisasmuchasurpriseformybrotherasforyou。WhenIinsistedonhiscomingtoourinterviewto-dayafteryourletter,ItoldhimnothingofwhatImeanttodo。Understandthat,ifyouarenotreconciled,Imustchoosebetweenyou—itmustbeeitheryouorhe。Thatishowthequestionrestsonyoursideandonhis。Idon’twanttobemistakeninmychoice,andImustnotbe。ForyoursakeImustbreakoffwithmybrother,formybrother’ssakeImustbreakoffwithyou。Icanfindoutforcertainnowwhetherheisabrothertome,andIwanttoknowit;andofyou,whetherIamdeartoyou,whetheryouesteemme,whetheryouarethehusbandforme。”
“AvdotyaRomanovna,”Luzhindeclaredhuffily,“yourwordsareoftoomuchconsequencetome;Iwillsaymore,theyareoffensiveinviewofthepositionIhavethehonourtooccupyinrelationtoyou。Tosaynothingofyourstrangeandoffensivesettingmeonalevelwithanimpertinentboy,youadmitthepossibilityofbreakingyourpromisetome。Yousay‘youorhe,’showingtherebyofhowlittleconsequenceIaminyoureyes…Icannotletthispassconsideringtherelationshipand…theobligationsexistingbetweenus。”
“What!”criedDounia,flushing。“Isetyourinterestbesideallthathashithertobeenmostpreciousinmylife,whathasmadeupthewholeofmylife,andhereyouareoffendedatmymakingtoolittleaccountofyou。”
Raskolnikovsmiledsarcastically,Razumihinfidgeted,butPyotrPetrovitchdidnotacceptthereproof;onthecontrary,ateverywordhebecamemorepersistentandirritable,asthoughherelishedit。
“Loveforthefuturepartnerofyourlife,foryourhusband,oughttooutweighyourloveforyourbrother,”hepronouncedsententiously,“andinanycaseIcannotbeputonthesamelevel。…AlthoughIsaidsoemphaticallythatIwouldnotspeakopenlyinyourbrother’spresence,nevertheless,Iintendnowtoaskyourhonouredmotherforanecessaryexplanationonapointofgreatimportancecloselyaffectingmydignity。Yourson,”heturnedtoPulcheriaAlexandrovna,“yesterdayinthepresenceofMr。Razsudkinor…Ithinkthat’sit?excusemeIhaveforgottenyoursurname,”hebowedpolitelytoRazumihin“insultedmebymisrepresentingtheideaIexpressedtoyouinaprivateconversation,drinkingcoffee,thatis,thatmarriagewithapoorgirlwhohashadexperienceoftroubleismoreadvantageousfromtheconjugalpointofviewthanwithonewhohaslivedinluxury,sinceitismoreprofitableforthemoralcharacter。Yoursonintentionallyexaggeratedthesignificanceofmywordsandmadethemridiculous,accusingmeofmaliciousintentions,and,asfarasIcouldsee,relieduponyourcorrespondencewithhim。Ishallconsidermyselfhappy,PulcheriaAlexandrovna,ifitispossibleforyoutoconvincemeofanoppositeconclusion,andtherebyconsideratelyreassureme。KindlyletmeknowinwhattermspreciselyyourepeatedmywordsinyourlettertoRodionRomanovitch。”
“Idon’tremember,”falteredPulcheriaAlexandrovna。“IrepeatedthemasIunderstoodthem。Idon’tknowhowRodyarepeatedthemtoyou,perhapsheexaggerated。”
“Hecouldnothaveexaggeratedthem,exceptatyourinstigation。”
“PyotrPetrovitch,”PulcheriaAlexandrovnadeclaredwithdignity,“theproofthatDouniaandIdidnottakeyourwordsinaverybadsenseisthefactthatwearehere。”
“Good,mother,”saidDouniaapprovingly。
“Thenthisismyfaultagain,”saidLuzhin,aggrieved。
“Well,PyotrPetrovitch,youkeepblamingRodion,butyouyourselfhavejustwrittenwhatwasfalseabouthim,”PulcheriaAlexandrovnaadded,gainingcourage。
“Idon’trememberwritinganythingfalse。”
“Youwrote,”Raskolnikovsaidsharply,notturningtoLuzhin,“thatIgavemoneyyesterdaynottothewidowofthemanwhowaskilled,aswasthefact,buttohisdaughterwhomIhadneverseentillyesterday。Youwrotethistomakedissensionbetweenmeandmyfamily,andforthatobjectaddedcoarseexpressionsabouttheconductofagirlwhomyoudon’tknow。Allthatismeanslander。”
“Excuseme,sir,”saidLuzhin,quiveringwithfury。“Ienlargeduponyourqualitiesandconductinmylettersolelyinresponsetoyoursister’sandmother’sinquiries,howIfoundyou,andwhatimpressionyoumadeonme。Asforwhatyou’vealludedtoinmyletter,besogoodastopointoutonewordoffalsehood,show,thatis,thatyoudidn’tthrowawayyourmoney,andthattherearenotworthlesspersonsinthatfamily,howeverunfortunate。”
“Tomythinking,you,withallyourvirtues,arenotworththelittlefingerofthatunfortunategirlatwhomyouthrowstones。”
“Wouldyougosofarthenastoletherassociatewithyourmotherandsister?”
“Ihavedonesoalready,ifyoucaretoknow。Imadehersitdownto-daywithmotherandDounia。”
“Rodya!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna。Douniacrimsoned,Razumihinknittedhisbrows。Luzhinsmiledwithloftysarcasm。
“Youmayseeforyourself,AvdotyaRomanovna,”hesaid,“whetheritispossibleforustoagree。Ihopenowthatthisquestionisatanend,onceandforall。Iwillwithdraw,thatImaynothinderthepleasuresoffamilyintimacy,andthediscussionofsecrets。”Hegotupfromhischairandtookhishat。“Butinwithdrawing,IventuretorequestthatforthefutureImaybesparedsimilarmeetings,and,sotosay,compromises。Iappealparticularlytoyou,honouredPulcheriaAlexandrovna,onthissubject,themoreasmyletterwasaddressedtoyouandtonooneelse。”
PulcheriaAlexandrovnawasalittleoffended。
“Youseemtothinkwearecompletelyunderyourauthority,PyotrPetrovitch。Douniahastoldyouthereasonyourdesirewasdisregarded,shehadthebestintentions。Andindeedyouwriteasthoughyouwerelayingcommandsuponme。Arewetoconsidereverydesireofyoursasacommand?Letmetellyouonthecontrarythatyououghttoshowparticulardelicacyandconsiderationforusnow,becausewehavethrownupeverything,andhavecomehererelyingonyou,andsoweareinanycaseinasenseinyourhands。”
“Thatisnotquitetrue,PulcheriaAlexandrovna,especiallyatthepresentmoment,whenthenewshascomeofMarfaPetrovna’slegacy,whichseemsindeedveryapropos,judgingfromthenewtoneyoutaketome,”headdedsarcastically。
“Judgingfromthatremark,wemaycertainlypresumethatyouwerereckoningonourhelplessness,”Douniaobservedirritably。
“ButnowinanycaseIcannotreckononit,andIparticularlydesirenottohinderyourdiscussionofthesecretproposalsofArkadyIvanovitchSvidrigailov,whichhehasentrustedtoyourbrotherandwhichhave,Iperceive,agreatandpossiblyaveryagreeableinterestforyou。”
“Goodheavens!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna。
Razumihincouldnotsitstillonhischair。
“Aren’tyouashamednow,sister?”askedRaskolnikov。
“Iamashamed,Rodya,”saidDounia。“PyotrPetrovitch,goaway,”sheturnedtohim,whitewithanger。
PyotrPetrovitchhadapparentlynotatallexpectedsuchaconclusion。Hehadtoomuchconfidenceinhimself,inhispowerandinthehelplessnessofhisvictims。Hecouldnotbelieveitevennow。Heturnedpale,andhislipsquivered。
“AvdotyaRomanovna,ifIgooutofthisdoornow,aftersuchadismissal,then,youmayreckononit,Iwillnevercomeback。Considerwhatyouaredoing。Mywordisnottobeshaken。”
“Whatinsolence!”criedDounia,springingupfromherseat。“Idon’twantyoutocomebackagain。”
“What!Sothat’showitstands!”criedLuzhin,utterlyunabletothelastmomenttobelieveintheruptureandsocompletelythrownoutofhisreckoningnow。“Sothat’showitstands!Butdoyouknow,AvdotyaRomanovna,thatImightprotest?”
“Whatrighthaveyoutospeaktoherlikethat?”PulcheriaAlexandrovnaintervenedhotly。“Andwhatcanyouprotestabout?Whatrightshaveyou?AmItogivemyDouniatoamanlikeyou?Goaway,leaveusaltogether!Wearetoblameforhavingagreedtoawrongaction,andIaboveall。…”
“Butyouhaveboundme,PulcheriaAlexandrovna,”Luzhinstormedinafrenzy,“byyourpromise,andnowyoudenyitand…besides…Ihavebeenledonaccountofthatintoexpenses。…”
ThislastcomplaintwassocharacteristicofPyotrPetrovitch,thatRaskolnikov,palewithangerandwiththeeffortofrestrainingit,couldnothelpbreakingintolaughter。ButPulcheriaAlexandrovnawasfurious。
“Expenses?Whatexpenses?Areyouspeakingofourtrunk?Buttheconductorbroughtitfornothingforyou。Mercyonus,wehaveboundyou!Whatareyouthinkingabout,PyotrPetrovitch,itwasyouboundus,handandfoot,notwe!”
“Enough,mother,nomoreplease,”AvdotyaRomanovnaimplored。“PyotrPetrovitch,dobekindandgo!”
“Iamgoing,butonelastword,”hesaid,quiteunabletocontrolhimself。“YourmammaseemstohaveentirelyforgottenthatImadeupmymindtotakeyou,sotospeak,afterthegossipofthetownhadspreadalloverthedistrictinregardtoyourreputation。Disregardingpublicopinionforyoursakeandreinstatingyourreputation,Icertainlymightverywellreckononafittingreturn,andmightindeedlookforgratitudeonyourpart。Andmyeyeshaveonlynowbeenopened!IseemyselfthatImayhaveactedvery,veryrecklesslyindisregardingtheuniversalverdict。…”
“Doesthefellowwanthisheadsmashed?”criedRazumihin,jumpingup。
“Youareameanandspitefulman!”criedDounia。
“Notaword!Notamovement!”criedRaskolnikov,holdingRazumihinback;thengoingcloseuptoLuzhin,“Kindlyleavetheroom!”hesaidquietlyanddistinctly,“andnotawordmoreor…”
PyotrPetrovitchgazedathimforsomesecondswithapalefacethatworkedwithanger,thenheturned,wentout,andrarelyhasanymancarriedawayinhisheartsuchvindictivehatredashefeltagainstRaskolnikov。Him,andhimalone,heblamedforeverything。Itisnoteworthythatashewentdownstairshestillimaginedthathiscasewasperhapsnotutterlylost,andthat,sofarastheladieswereconcerned,allmight“verywellindeed”besetrightagain。
Thefactwasthatuptothelastmomenthehadneverexpectedsuchanending;hehadbeenoverbearingtothelastdegree,neverdreamingthattwodestituteanddefencelesswomencouldescapefromhiscontrol。Thisconvictionwasstrengthenedbyhisvanityandconceit,aconceittothepointoffatuity。PyotrPetrovitch,whohadmadehiswayupfrominsignificance,wasmorbidlygiventoself-admiration,hadthehighestopinionofhisintelligenceandcapacities,andsometimesevengloatedinsolitudeoverhisimageintheglass。Butwhathelovedandvaluedaboveallwasthemoneyhehadamassedbyhislabour,andbyallsortsofdevices:thatmoneymadehimtheequalofallwhohadbeenhissuperiors。
WhenhehadbitterlyremindedDouniathathehaddecidedtotakeherinspiteofevilreport,PyotrPetrovitchhadspokenwithperfectsincerityandhad,indeed,feltgenuinelyindignantatsuch“blackingratitude。”Andyet,whenhemadeDouniahisoffer,hewasfullyawareofthegroundlessnessofallthegossip。ThestoryhadbeeneverywherecontradictedbyMarfaPetrovna,andwasbythendisbelievedbyallthetownspeople,whowerewarminDounia’adefence。Andhewouldnothavedeniedthatheknewallthatatthetime。YethestillthoughthighlyofhisownresolutioninliftingDouniatohislevelandregardeditassomethingheroic。InspeakingofittoDounia,hehadletoutthesecretfeelinghecherishedandadmired,andhecouldnotunderstandthatothersshouldfailtoadmireittoo。HehadcalledonRaskolnikovwiththefeelingsofabenefactorwhoisabouttoreapthefruitsofhisgooddeedsandtohearagreeableflattery。Andashewentdownstairsnow,heconsideredhimselfmostundeservedlyinjuredandunrecognised。
Douniawassimplyessentialtohim;todowithoutherwasunthinkable。Formanyyearshehadhadvoluptuousdreamsofmarriage,buthehadgoneonwaitingandamassingmoney。Hebroodedwithrelish,inprofoundsecret,overtheimageofagirl—virtuous,poorshemustbepoor,veryyoung,verypretty,ofgoodbirthandeducation,verytimid,onewhohadsufferedmuch,andwascompletelyhumbledbeforehim,onewhowouldallherlifelookonhimashersaviour,worshiphim,admirehimandonlyhim。Howmanyscenes,howmanyamorousepisodeshehadimaginedonthisseductiveandplayfultheme,whenhisworkwasover!And,behold,thedreamofsomanyyearswasallbutrealised;thebeautyandeducationofAvdotyaRomanovnahadimpressedhim;herhelplesspositionhadbeenagreatallurement;inherhehadfoundevenmorethanhedreamedof。Herewasagirlofpride,character,virtue,ofeducationandbreedingsuperiortohisownhefeltthat,andthiscreaturewouldbeslavishlygratefulallherlifeforhisheroiccondescension,andwouldhumbleherselfinthedustbeforehim,andhewouldhaveabsolute,unboundedpoweroverher!…Notlongbefore,hehad,too,afterlongreflectionandhesitation,madeanimportantchangeinhiscareerandwasnowenteringonawidercircleofbusiness。Withthischangehischerisheddreamsofrisingintoahigherclassofsocietyseemedlikelytoberealised。…Hewas,infact,determinedtotryhisfortuneinPetersburg。Heknewthatwomencoulddoaverygreatdeal。Thefascinationofacharming,virtuous,highlyeducatedwomanmightmakehiswayeasier,mightdowondersinattractingpeopletohim,throwinganaureoleroundhim,andnoweverythingwasinruins!Thissuddenhorribleruptureaffectedhimlikeaclapofthunder;itwaslikeahideousjoke,anabsurdity。Hehadonlybeenatinybitmasterful,hadnoteventimetospeakout,hadsimplymadeajoke,beencarriedaway—andithadendedsoseriously。And,ofcourse,too,hedidloveDouniainhisownway;healreadypossessedherinhisdreams—andallatonce!No!Thenextday,theverynextday,itmustallbesetright,smoothedover,settled。Aboveallhemustcrushthatconceitedmilksopwhowasthecauseofitall。WithasickfeelinghecouldnothelprecallingRazumihintoo,but,hesoonreassuredhimselfonthatscore;asthoughafellowlikethatcouldbeputonalevelwithhim!ThemanhereallydreadedinearnestwasSvidrigailov。…Hehad,inshort,agreatdealtoattendto。…
“No,I,Iammoretoblamethananyone!”saidDounia,kissingandembracinghermother。“Iwastemptedbyhismoney,butonmyhonour,brother,Ihadnoideahewassuchabaseman。IfIhadseenthroughhimbefore,nothingwouldhavetemptedme!Don’tblameme,brother!”
“Godhasdeliveredus!Godhasdeliveredus!”PulcheriaAlexandrovnamuttered,buthalfconsciously,asthoughscarcelyabletorealisewhathadhappened。
Theywereallrelieved,andinfiveminutestheywerelaughing。OnlynowandthenDouniaturnedwhiteandfrowned,rememberingwhathadpassed。PulcheriaAlexandrovnawassurprisedtofindthatshe,too,wasglad:shehadonlythatmorningthoughtrupturewithLuzhinaterriblemisfortune。Razumihinwasdelighted。Hedidnotyetdaretoexpresshisjoyfully,buthewasinafeverofexcitementasthoughaton-weighthadfallenoffhisheart。Nowhehadtherighttodevotehislifetothem,toservethem。…Anythingmighthappennow!Buthefeltafraidtothinkoffurtherpossibilitiesanddarednotlethisimaginationrange。ButRaskolnikovsatstillinthesameplace,almostsullenandindifferent。ThoughhehadbeenthemostinsistentongettingridofLuzhin,heseemednowtheleastconcernedatwhathadhappened。Douniacouldnothelpthinkingthathewasstillangrywithher,andPulcheriaAlexandrovnawatchedhimtimidly。
“WhatdidSvidrigailovsaytoyou?”saidDounia,approachinghim。
“Yes,yes!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna。
Raskolnikovraisedhishead。
“Hewantstomakeyouapresentoftenthousandroublesandhedesirestoseeyouonceinmypresence。”
“Seeher!Onnoaccount!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna。“Andhowdareheofferhermoney!”
ThenRaskolnikovrepeatedratherdrylyhisconversationwithSvidrigailov,omittinghisaccountoftheghostlyvisitationsofMarfaPetrovna,wishingtoavoidallunnecessarytalk。
“Whatanswerdidyougivehim?”askedDounia。
“AtfirstIsaidIwouldnottakeanymessagetoyou。Thenhesaidthathewoulddohisutmosttoobtainaninterviewwithyouwithoutmyhelp。Heassuredmethathispassionforyouwasapassinginfatuation,nowhehasnofeelingforyou。Hedoesn’twantyoutomarryLuzhin。…Histalkwasaltogetherrathermuddled。”
“Howdoyouexplainhimtoyourself,Rodya?Howdidhestrikeyou?”
“ImustconfessIdon’tquiteunderstandhim。Heoffersyoutenthousand,andyetsaysheisnotwelloff。Hesaysheisgoingaway,andintenminutesheforgetshehassaidit。Thenhesaysishegoingtobemarriedandhasalreadyfixedonthegirl。…Nodoubthehasamotive,andprobablyabadone。Butit’soddthatheshouldbesoclumsyaboutitifhehadanydesignsagainstyou。…Ofcourse,Irefusedthismoneyonyouraccount,onceforall。Altogether,Ithoughthimverystrange。…Onemightalmostthinkhewasmad。ButImaybemistaken;thatmayonlybethepartheassumes。ThedeathofMarfaPetrovnaseemstohavemadeagreatimpressiononhim。”
“Godresthersoul,”exclaimedPulcheriaAlexandrovna。“Ishallalways,alwaysprayforher!Whereshouldwebenow,Dounia,withoutthisthreethousand!It’sasthoughithadfallenfromheaven!Why,Rodya,thismorningwehadonlythreeroublesinourpocketandDouniaandIwerejustplanningtopawnherwatch,soastoavoidborrowingfromthatmanuntilheofferedhelp。”
DouniaseemedstrangelyimpressedbySvidrigailov’soffer。Shestillstoodmeditating。
“Hehasgotsometerribleplan,”shesaidinahalfwhispertoherself,almostshuddering。
Raskolnikovnoticedthisdisproportionateterror。
“IfancyIshallhavetoseehimmorethanonceagain,”hesaidtoDounia。
“Wewillwatchhim!Iwilltrackhimout!”criedRazumihin,vigorously。“Iwon’tlosesightofhim。Rodyahasgivenmeleave。Hesaidtomehimselfjustnow。‘Takecareofmysister。’Willyougivemeleave,too,AvdotyaRomanovna?”
Douniasmiledandheldoutherhand,butthelookofanxietydidnotleaveherface。PulcheriaAlexandrovnagazedathertimidly,butthethreethousandroubleshadobviouslyasoothingeffectonher。
Aquarterofanhourlater,theywereallengagedinalivelyconversation。EvenRaskolnikovlistenedattentivelyforsometime,thoughhedidnottalk。Razumihinwasthespeaker。
“Andwhy,whyshouldyougoaway?”heflowedonecstatically。“Andwhatareyoutodoinalittletown?Thegreatthingis,youareallheretogetherandyouneedoneanother—youdoneedoneanother,believeme。Foratime,anyway。…Takemeintopartnership,andIassureyouwe’llplanacapitalenterprise。Listen!I’llexplainitallindetailtoyou,thewholeproject!Itallflashedintomyheadthismorning,beforeanythinghadhappened…Itellyouwhat;Ihaveanuncle,Imustintroducehimtoyouamostaccommodatingandrespectableoldman。Thisunclehasgotacapitalofathousandroubles,andhelivesonhispensionandhasnoneedofthatmoney。Forthelasttwoyearshehasbeenbotheringmetoborrowitfromhimandpayhimsixpercent。interest。Iknowwhatthatmeans;hesimplywantstohelpme。yearIhadnoneedofit,butthisyearIresolvedtoborrowitassoonashearrived。Thenyoulendmeanotherthousandofyourthreeandwehaveenoughforastart,sowe’llgointopartnership,andwhatarewegoingtodo?”
ThenRazumihinbegantounfoldhisproject,andheexplainedatlengththatalmostallourpublishersandbooksellersknownothingatallofwhattheyareselling,andforthatreasontheyareusuallybadpublishers,andthatanydecentpublicationspayasaruleandgiveaprofit,sometimesaconsiderableone。Razumihinhad,indeed,beendreamingofsettingupasapublisher。Forthelasttwoyearshehadbeenworkinginpublishers’offices,andknewthreeEuropeanlanguageswell,thoughhehadtoldRaskolnikovsixdaysbeforethathewas“schwach”inGermanwithanobjectofpersuadinghimtotakehalfhistranslationandhalfthepaymentforit。Hehadtoldaliethen,andRaskolnikovknewhewaslying。
“Why,whyshouldweletourchanceslipwhenwehaveoneofthechiefmeansofsuccess—moneyofourown!”criedRazumihinwarmly。“Ofcoursetherewillbealotofwork,butwewillwork,you,AvdotyaRomanovna,I,Rodion。…Yougetasplendidprofitonsomebooksnowadays!Andthegreatpointofthebusinessisthatweshallknowjustwhatwantstranslating,andweshallbetranslating,publishing,learningallatonce。IcanbeofusebecauseIhaveexperience。FornearlytwoyearsI’vebeenscuttlingaboutamongthepublishers,andnowIknoweverydetailoftheirbusiness。Youneednotbeasainttomakepots,believeme!Andwhy,whyshouldweletourchanceslip!Why,Iknow—andIkeptthesecret—twoorthreebookswhichonemightgetahundredroublessimplyforthinkingoftranslatingandpublishing。Indeed,andIwouldnottakefivehundredfortheveryideaofoneofthem。Andwhatdoyouthink?IfIweretotellapublisher,Idaresayhe’dhesitate—theyaresuchblockheads!Andasforthebusinessside,printing,paper,selling,youtrusttome,Iknowmywayabout。We’llbegininasmallwayandgoontoalarge。Inanycaseitwillgetusourlivingandweshallgetbackourcapital。”
Dounia’seyesshone。
“Ilikewhatyouaresaying,DmitriProkofitch!”shesaid。
“Iknownothingaboutit,ofcourse,”putinPulcheriaAlexandrovna,“itmaybeagoodidea,butagainGodknows。It’snewanduntried。Ofcourse,wemustremainhereatleastforatime。”ShelookedatRodya。
“Whatdoyouthink,brother?”saidDounia。
“Ithinkhe’sgotaverygoodidea,”heanswered。“Ofcourse,it’stoosoontodreamofapublishingfirm,butwecertainlymightbringoutfiveorsixbooksandbesureofsuccess。Iknowofonebookmyselfwhichwouldbesuretogowell。Andasforhisbeingabletomanageit,there’snodoubtaboutthateither。Heknowsthebusiness。…Butwecantalkitoverlater。…”
“Hurrah!”criedRazumihin。“Now,stay,there’saflathereinthishouse,belongingtothesameowner。It’saspecialflatapart,notcommunicatingwiththeselodgings。It’sfurnished,rentmoderate,threerooms。Supposeyoutakethemtobeginwith。I’llpawnyourwatchto-morrowandbringyouthemoney,andeverythingcanbearrangedthen。Youcanallthreelivetogether,andRodyawillbewithyou。Butwhereareyouoffto,Rodya?”
“What,Rodya,youaregoingalready?”PulcheriaAlexandrovnaaskedindismay。
“Atsuchaminute?”criedRazumihin。
Dounialookedatherbrotherwithincredulouswonder。Heheldhiscapinhishand,hewaspreparingtoleavethem。
“Onewouldthinkyouwereburyingmeorsayinggood-byeforever,”hesaidsomewhatoddly。Heattemptedtosmile,butitdidnotturnoutasmile。“Butwhoknows,perhapsitisthelasttimeweshallseeeachother…”heletslipaccidentally。Itwaswhathewasthinking,anditsomehowwasutteredaloud。
“Whatisthematterwithyou?”criedhismother。
“Whereareyougoing,Rodya?”askedDouniaratherstrangely。
“Oh,I’mquiteobligedto…”heansweredvaguely,asthoughhesitatingwhathewouldsay。Buttherewasalookofsharpdeterminationinhiswhiteface。
“Imeanttosay…asIwascominghere…Imeanttotellyou,mother,andyou,Dounia,thatitwouldbebetterforustopartforatime。Ifeelill,Iamnotatpeace。…Iwillcomeafterwards,Iwillcomeofmyself…whenit’spossible。Irememberyouandloveyou。…Leaveme,leavemealone。Idecidedthisevenbefore…I’mabsolutelyresolvedonit。Whatevermaycometome,whetherIcometoruinornot,Iwanttobealone。Forgetmealtogether,it’sbetter。Don’tinquireaboutme。WhenIcan,I’llcomeofmyselfor…I’llsendforyou。Perhapsitwillallcomeback,butnowifyouloveme,givemeup…elseIshallbegintohateyou,Ifeelit。…Good-bye!”
“GoodGod!”criedPulcheriaAlexandrovna。Bothhismotherandhissisterwereterriblyalarmed。Razumihinwasalso。
“Rodya,Rodya,bereconciledwithus!Letusbeasbefore!”criedhispoormother。
Heturnedslowlytothedoorandslowlywentoutoftheroom。Douniaovertookhim。
“Brother,whatareyoudoingtomother?”shewhispered,hereyesflashingwithindignation。
Helookeddullyather。
“Nomatter,Ishallcome。…I’mcoming,”hemutteredinanundertone,asthoughnotfullyconsciousofwhathewassaying,andhewentoutoftheroom。
“Wicked,heartlessegoist!”criedDounia。
“Heisinsane,butnotheartless。Heismad!Don’tyouseeit?You’reheartlessafterthat!”Razumihinwhisperedinherear,squeezingherhandtightly。“Ishallbebackdirectly,”heshoutedtothehorror-strickenmother,andheranoutoftheroom。
Raskolnikovwaswaitingforhimattheendofthepassage。
“Iknewyouwouldrunafterme,”hesaid。“Gobacktothem—bewiththem…bewiththemto-morrowandalways。…I…perhapsIshallcome…ifIcan。Good-bye。”
Andwithoutholdingouthishandhewalkedaway。
“Butwhereareyougoing?Whatareyoudoing?What’sthematterwithyou?Howcanyougoonlikethis?”Razumihinmuttered,athiswits’end。
Raskolnikovstoppedoncemore。
“Onceforall,neveraskmeaboutanything。Ihavenothingtotellyou。Don’tcometoseeme。MaybeI’llcomehere。…Leaveme,butdon’tleavethem。Doyouunderstandme?”
Itwasdarkinthecorridor,theywerestandingnearthelamp。Foraminutetheywerelookingatoneanotherinsilence。Razumihinrememberedthatminuteallhislife。Raskolnikov’sburningandintenteyesgrewmorepenetratingeverymoment,piercingintohissoul,intohisconsciousness。SuddenlyRazumihinstarted。Somethingstrange,asitwere,passedbetweenthem。…Someidea,somehint,asitwere,slipped,somethingawful,hideous,andsuddenlyunderstoodonbothsides。…Razumihinturnedpale。
“Doyouunderstandnow?”saidRaskolnikov,hisfacetwitchingnervously。“Goback,gotothem,”hesaidsuddenly,andturningquickly,hewentoutofthehouse。
IwillnotattempttodescribehowRazumihinwentbacktotheladies,howhesoothedthem,howheprotestedthatRodyaneededrestinhisillness,protestedthatRodyawassuretocome,thathewouldcomeeveryday,thathewasvery,verymuchupset,thathemustnotbeirritated,thathe,Razumihin,wouldwatchoverhim,wouldgethimadoctor,thebestdoctor,aconsultation。…InfactfromthateveningRazumihintookhisplacewiththemasasonandabrother。