Gelstraphadoftenponderedoverthisbottle。IthadbeenplacedtherebyMrPontifexhimselfaboutadozenyearspreviously，onhisreturnfromavisittohisfriendthecelebratedtravellerDrJones——
　　buttherewasnotabletabovethebinwhichmightgiveacluetothenatureofitscontents。Onmorethanoneoccasionwhenhismasterhadgoneoutandlefthiskeysaccidentallybehindhim，ashesometimesdid，Gelstraphadsubmittedthebottletoallthetestshecouldventureupon，butitwassocarefullysealedthatwisdomremainedquiteshutoutfromthatentranceatwhichhewouldhavewelcomedhermostgladly——andindeedfromallotherentrances，forhecouldmakeoutnothingatall。
　　Andnowthemysterywastobesolved。Butalas！itseemedasthoughthelastchanceofsecuringevenasipofthecontentswastoberemovedforever，forMrPontifextookthebottleintohisownhandsandheldituptothelightaftercarefullyexaminingtheseal。Hesmiledandleftthebinwiththebottleinhishands。
　　Thencameacatastrophe。Hestumbledoveranemptyhamper；therewasthesoundofafall——asmashofbrokenglass，andinaninstantthecellarfloorwascoveredwiththeliquidthathadbeenpreservedsocarefullyforsomanyyears。
　　WithhisusualpresenceofmindMrPontifexgaspedoutamonth’swarningtoGelstrap。Thenhegotup，andstampedasTheobaldhaddonewhenChristinahadwantednottoorderhisdinner。
　　“It’swaterfromtheJordan。”heexclaimedfuriously，“whichIhavebeensavingforthebaptismofmyeldestgrandson。Damnyou，Gelstrap，howdareyoubesoinfernallycarelessastoleavethathamperlitteringaboutthecellar？”
　　Iwonderthewaterofthesacredstreamdidnotstanduprightasanheapuponthecellarfloorandrebukehim。Gelstraptoldtheotherservantsafterwardsthathismaster’slanguagehadmadehisbackbonecurdle。
　　Themoment，however，thatheheardtheword“water。”hesawhiswayagain，andflewtothepantry。Beforehismasterhadwellnotedhisabsencehereturnedwithalittlespongeandabasin，andhadbegunsoppingupthewatersoftheJordanasthoughtheyhadbeenacommonslop。
　　“I’llfilterit，Sir。”saidGelstrapmeekly。“It’llcomequiteclean。”
　　MrPontifexsawhopeinthissuggestion，whichwasshortlycarriedoutbythehelpofapieceofblottingpaperandafunnel，underhisowneyes。Eventuallyitwasfoundthathalfapintwassaved，andthiswasheldtobesufficient。
　　ThenhemadepreparationsforavisittoBattersby。Heorderedgoodlyhampersofthechoicesteatables，heselectedagoodlyhamperofchoicedrinkables。Isaychoiceandnotchoicest，foralthoughinhisfirstexaltationhehadselectedsomeofhisverybestwine，yetonreflectionhehadfeltthattherewasmoderationinallthings，andashewaspartingwithhisbestwaterfromtheJordan，hewouldonlysendsomeofhissecondbestwine。
　　BeforehewenttoBattersbyhestayedadayortwoinLondon，whichhenowseldomdid，beingoverseventyyearsold，andhavingpracticallyretiredfrombusiness。TheJohnPontifexes，whokeptasharpeyeonhim，discoveredtotheirdismaythathehadhadaninterviewwithhissolicitors。
　　ForthefirsttimeinhislifeTheobaldfeltthathehaddonesomethingright，andcouldlookforwardtomeetinghisfatherwithoutalarm。Theoldgentleman，indeed，hadwrittenhimamostcordialletter，announcinghisintentionofstandinggodfathertotheboy——nay，Imayaswellgiveitinfull，asitshowsthewriterathisbest。Itruns：
　　“DearTheobald，——Yourlettergavemeverysincerepleasure，themoresobecauseIhadmadeupmymindfortheworst；prayacceptmymostheartycongratulationsformydaughter-in-lawandforyourself。
　　“IhavelongpreservedaphialofwaterfromtheJordanforthechristeningofmyfirstgrandson，shoulditpleaseGodtograntmeone。ItwasgivenmebymyoldfriendDrJones。Youwillagreewithmethatthoughtheefficacyofthesacramentdoesnotdependuponthesourceofthebaptismalwaters，yet，ceterisparibus，thereisasentimentattachingtothewatersoftheJordanwhichshouldnotbedespised。Smallmatterslikethissometimesinfluenceachild’swholefuturecareer。
　　“Ishallbringmyowncook，andhavetoldhimtogeteverythingreadyforthechristeningdinner。Askasmanyofyourbestneighboursasyourtablewillhold。Bytheway，IhavetoldLesueurNOTTOGETALOBSTER——youhadbetterdriveoveryourselfandgetonefromSaltnessforBattersbywasonlyfourteenorfifteenmilesfromtheseacoast；theyarebetterthere，atleastIthinkso，thananywhereelseinEngland。
　　“Ihaveputyourboydownforsomethingintheeventofhisattainingtheageoftwenty-oneyears。IfyourbrotherJohncontinuestohavenothingbutgirlsImaydomorelateron，butI
　　havemanyclaimsuponme，andamnotaswelloffasyoumayimagine——Youraffectionatefather，“G。PONTIFEX。”
　　AfewdaysafterwardsthewriteroftheabovelettermadehisappearanceinaflywhichhadbroughthimfromGildenhamtoBattersby，adistanceoffourteenmiles。TherewasLesueur，thecook，ontheboxwiththedriver，andasmanyhampersastheflycouldcarryweredisposedupontheroofandelsewhere。NextdaytheJohnPontifexeshadtocome，andElizaandMaria，aswellasAlethea，who，byherownspecialrequest，wasgodmothertotheboy，forMrPontifexhaddecidedthattheyweretoformahappyfamilyparty；socometheyallmust，andbehappytheyallmust，oritwouldbetheworseforthem。Nextdaytheauthorofallthishubbubwasactuallychristened。TheobaldhadproposedtocallhimGeorgeafteroldMrPontifex，butstrangetosay，MrPontifexover-ruledhiminfavourofthenameErnest。Theword“earnest“wasjustbeginningtocomeintofashion，andhethoughtthepossessionofsuchanamemight，likehishavingbeenbaptisedinwaterfromtheJordan，haveapermanenteffectupontheboy’scharacter，andinfluencehimforgoodduringthemorecriticalperiodsofhislife。
　　Iwasaskedtobehissecondgodfather，andwasrejoicedtohaveanopportunityofmeetingAlethea，whomIhadnotseenforsomefewyears，butwithwhomIhadbeeninconstantcorrespondence。SheandIhadalwaysbeenfriendsfromthetimewehadplayedtogetheraschildrenonwards。WhenthedeathofhergrandfatherandgrandmotherseveredherconnectionwithPalehammyintimacywiththePontifexeswaskeptupbymyhavingbeenatschoolandcollegewithTheobald，andeachtimeIsawherIadmiredhermoreandmoreasthebest，kindest，wittiest，mostlovable，and，tomymind，handsomestwomanwhomIhadeverseen。NoneofthePontifexesweredeficientingoodlooks；theywereawell-grownshapelyfamilyenough，butAletheawasthefloweroftheflockevenasregardsgoodlooks，whileinrespectofallotherqualitiesthatmakeawomanlovable，itseemedasthoughthestockthathadbeenintendedforthethreedaughters，andwouldhavebeenaboutsufficientforthem，hadallbeenallottedtoherself，hersistersgettingnone，andsheall。
　　ItisimpossibleformetoexplainhowitwasthatsheandInevermarried。Wetwoknewexceedinglywell，andthatmustsufficeforthereader。Therewasthemostperfectsympathyandunderstandingbetweenus；weknewthatneitherofuswouldmarryanyoneelse。I
　　hadaskedhertomarrymeadozentimesover；havingsaidthismuchIwillsaynomoreuponapointwhichisinnowaynecessaryforthedevelopmentofmystory。Forthelastfewyearstherehadbeendifficultiesinthewayofourmeeting，andIhadnotseenher，though，asIhavesaid，keepingupaclosecorrespondencewithher。
　　NaturallyIwasoverjoyedtomeetheragain；shewasnowjustthirtyyearsold，butIthoughtshelookedhandsomerthanever。
　　Herfather，ofcourse，wasthelionoftheparty，butseeingthatwewereallmeekandquitewillingtobeeaten，heroaredtousratherthanatus。Itwasafinesighttoseehimtuckinghisnapkinunderhisrosyoldgills，andlettingitfalloverhiscapaciouswaistcoatwhilethehighlightfromthechandelierdancedaboutthebumpofbenevolenceonhisbaldoldheadlikeastarofBethlehem。
　　Thesoupwasrealturtle；theoldgentlemanwasevidentlywellpleasedandhewasbeginningtocomeout。Gelstrapstoodbehindhismaster’schair。IsatnextMrsTheobaldonherlefthand，andwasthusjustoppositeherfather-in-law，whomIhadeveryopportunityofobserving。
　　Duringthefirsttenminutesorso，whichweretakenupwiththesoupandthebringinginofthefish，Ishouldprobablyhavethought，ifIhadnotlongsincemadeupmymindabouthim，whatafineoldmanhewasandhowproudhischildrenshouldbeofhim；butsuddenlyashewashelpinghimselftolobstersauce，heflushedcrimson，alookofextremevexationsuffusedhisface，andhedartedtwofurtivebutfieryglancestothetwoendsofthetable，oneforTheobaldandoneforChristina。They，poorsimplesouls，ofcoursesawthatsomethingwasexceedinglywrong，andsodidI，butI
　　couldn’tguesswhatitwastillIheardtheoldmanhissinChristina’sear：“Itwasnotmadewithahenlobster。What’stheuse。”hecontinued，“ofmycallingtheboyErnest，andgettinghimchristenedinwaterfromtheJordan，ifhisownfatherdoesnotknowacockfromahenlobster？”
　　Thiscutmetoo，forIfeltthattillthatmomentIhadnotsomuchasknownthattherewerecocksandhensamonglobsters，buthadvaguelythoughtthatinthematterofmatrimonytheywereevenastheangelsinheaven，andgrewupalmostspontaneouslyfromrocksandsea-weed。
　　BeforethenextcoursewasoverMrPontifexhadrecoveredhistemper，andfromthattimetotheendoftheeveninghewasathisbest。HetoldusallaboutthewaterfromtheJordan；howithadbeenbroughtbyDrJonesalongwithsomestonejarsofwaterfromtheRhine，theRhone，theElbeandtheDanube，andwhattroublehehadhadwiththemattheCustomHouses，andhowtheintentionhadbeentomakepunchwithwatersfromallthegreatestriversinEurope；andhowhe，MrPontifex，hadsavedtheJordanwaterfromgoingintothebowl，etc。，etc。“No，no，no。”hecontinued，“itwouldn’thavedoneatall，youknow；veryprofaneidea；soweeachtookapintbottleofithomewithus，andthepunchwasmuchbetterwithoutit。Ihadanarrowescapewithmine，though，theotherday；
　　Ifelloverahamperinthecellar，whenIwasgettingituptobringtoBattersby，andifIhadnottakenthegreatestcarethebottlewouldcertainlyhavebeenbroken，butIsavedit。”AndGelstrapwasstandingbehindhischairallthetime！
　　NothingmorehappenedtoruffleMrPontifex，sowehadadelightfulevening，whichhasoftenrecurredtomewhilewatchingtheaftercareerofmygodson。