Sohefellawayfromalloldfriendsexceptmyselfandthreeorfouroldintimatesofmyown,whowereassuretotaketohimashetothem,andwholikemyselfenjoyedgettingholdofayoungfreshmind。Ernestattendedtothekeepingofmyaccountbookswhenevertherewasanythingwhichcouldpossiblybeattendedto,whichthereseldomwas,andspentthegreaterpartoftherestofhistimeinaddingtothemanynotesandtentativeessayswhichhadalreadyaccumulatedinhisportfolios。Anyonewhowasusedtowritingcouldseeataglancethatliteraturewashisnaturaldevelopment,andI
  waspleasedatseeinghimsettledowntoitsospontaneously。Iwaslesspleased,however,toobservethathewouldstilloccupyhimselfwithnonebutthemostserious,Ihadalmostsaidsolemn,subjects,justashenevercaredaboutanybutthemostseriouskindofmusic。
  IsaidtohimonedaythattheveryslenderrewardwhichGodhadattachedtothepursuitofseriousinquirywasasufficientproofthatHedisapprovedofit,oratanyratethatHedidnotsetmuchstorebyitnorwishtoencourageit。
  Hesaid:“Oh,don’ttalkaboutrewards。LookatMilton,whoonlygot5poundsfor’ParadiseLost。’“
  “Andagreatdealtoomuch。”Irejoinedpromptly。“Iwouldhavegivenhimtwiceasmuchmyselfnottohavewrittenitatall。”
  Ernestwasalittleshocked。“Atanyrate。”hesaidlaughingly,“I
  don’twritepoetry。”
  Thiswasacutatme,formyburlesqueswere,ofcourse,writteninrhyme。SoIdroppedthematter。
  Afteratimehetookitintohisheadtore-openthequestionofhisgetting300poundsayearfordoing,ashesaid,absolutelynothing,andsaidhewouldtrytofindsomeemploymentwhichshouldbringhiminenoughtoliveupon。
  Ilaughedatthisbutlethimalone。Hetriedandtriedveryhardforalongwhile,butIneedhardlysaywasunsuccessful。TheolderIgrow,themoreconvincedIbecomeofthefollyandcredulityofthepublic;butatthesametimetheharderdoIseeitistoimposeoneselfuponthatfollyandcredulity。
  Hetriededitoraftereditorwitharticleafterarticle。Sometimesaneditorlistenedtohimandtoldhimtoleavehisarticles;healmostinvariably,however,hadthemreturnedtohimintheendwithapolitenotesayingthattheywerenotsuitedfortheparticularpapertowhichhehadsentthem。Andyetmanyoftheseveryarticlesappearedinhislaterworks,andnoonecomplainedofthem,notatleastonthescoreofbadliteraryworkmanship。“Isee。”hesaidtomeoneday,“thatdemandisveryimperious,andsupplymustbeverysuppliant。”
  Once,indeed,theeditorofanimportantmonthlymagazineacceptedanarticlefromhim,andhethoughthehadnowgotafootingintheliteraryworld。Thearticlewastoappearinthenextissuebutone,andhewastoreceiveprooffromtheprintersinabouttendaysorafortnight;butweekafterweekpassedandtherewasnoproof;
  monthaftermonthwentbyandtherewasstillnoroomforErnest’sarticle;atlengthafteraboutsixmonthstheeditoronemorningtoldhimthathehadfilledeverynumberofhisreviewforthenexttenmonths,butthathisarticleshoulddefinitelyappear。OnthisheinsistedonhavinghisMS。returnedtohim。
  Sometimeshisarticleswereactuallypublished,andhefoundtheeditorhadeditedthemaccordingtohisownfancy,puttinginjokeswhichhethoughtwerefunny,orcuttingouttheverypassagewhichErnesthadconsideredthepointofthewholething,andthen,thoughthearticlesappeared,whenitcametopayingforthemitwasanothermatter,andheneversawhismoney。“Editors。”hesaidtomeonedayaboutthistime,“arelikethepeoplewhoboughtandsoldinthebookofRevelation;thereisnotonebuthasthemarkofthebeastuponhim。”
  Atlastaftermonthsofdisappointmentandmanyatedioushourwastedindingyante-roomsandofallanteroomsthoseofeditorsappeartometobethedreariest,hegotabonafideofferofemploymentfromoneofthefirstclassweeklypapersthroughanintroductionIwasabletogetforhimfromonewhohadpowerfulinfluencewiththepaperinquestion。Theeditorsenthimadozenlongbooksuponvariedanddifficultsubjects,andtoldhimtoreviewtheminasinglearticlewithinaweek。Inonebooktherewasaneditorialnotetotheeffectthatthewriterwastobecondemned。Ernestparticularlyadmiredthebookhewasdesiredtocondemn,andfeelinghowhopelessitwasforhimtodoanythinglikejusticetothebookssubmittedtohim,returnedthemtotheeditor。
  Atlastonepaperdidactuallytakeadozenorsoofarticlesfromhim,andgavehimcashdownacoupleofguineasapieceforthem,buthavingdonethisitexpiredwithinafortnightafterthelastofErnest’sarticleshadappeared。Itcertainlylookedverymuchasiftheothereditorsknewtheirbusinessindecliningtohaveanythingtodowithmyunluckygodson。
  Iwasnotsorrythathefailedwithperiodicalliterature,forwritingforreviewsornewspapersisbadtrainingforonewhomayaspiretowriteworksofmorepermanentinterest。Ayoungwritershouldhavemoretimeforreflectionthanhecangetasacontributortothedailyorevenweeklypress。Ernesthimself,however,waschagrinedatfindinghowunmarketablehewas。“Why。”
  hesaidtome,“IfIwasawell-bredhorse,orsheep,orapure-bredpigeonorlop-earedrabbitIshouldbemoresaleable。IfIwasevenacathedralinacolonialtownpeoplewouldgivemesomething,butasitistheydonotwantme“;andnowthathewaswellandrestedhewantedtosetupashopagain,butthis,ofcourse,Iwouldnothearof。
  “WhatcareI。”saidhetomeoneday,“aboutbeingwhattheycallagentleman?”Andhismannerwasalmostfierce。
  “Whathasbeingagentlemaneverdoneformeexceptmakemelessabletopreyandmoreeasytobepreyedupon?Ithaschangedthemannerofmybeingswindled,thatisall。ButforyourkindnesstomeIshouldbepenniless。ThankheavenIhaveplacedmychildrenwhereIhave。”
  Ibeggedhimtokeepquietalittlelongerandnottalkabouttakingashop。
  “Willbeingagentleman。”hesaid,“bringmemoneyatthelast,andwillanythingbringmeasmuchpeaceatthelastasmoneywill?
  TheysaythatthosewhohaverichesenterhardlyintothekingdomofHeaven。ByJove,theydo;theyarelikeStruldbrugs;theyliveandliveandliveandarehappyformanyalongyearaftertheywouldhaveenteredintothekingdomofHeaveniftheyhadbeenpoor。I
  wanttolivelongandtoraisemychildren,ifIseetheywouldbehappierfortheraising;thatiswhatIwant,anditisnotwhatI
  amdoingnowthatwillhelpme。BeingagentlemanisaluxurywhichIcannotafford,thereforeIdonotwantit。Letmegobacktomyshopagain,anddothingsforpeoplewhichtheywantdoneandwillpaymefordoingforthem。TheyknowwhattheywantandwhatisgoodforthembetterthanIcantellthem。”
  Itwashardtodenythesoundnessofthis,andifhehadbeendependentonlyonthe300poundsayearwhichhewasgettingfrommeIshouldhaveadvisedhimtoopenhisshopagainnextmorning。Asitwas,Itemporisedandraisedobstacles,andquietedhimfromtimetotimeasbestIcould。
  OfcoursehereadMrDarwin’sbooksasfastastheycameoutandadoptedevolutionasanarticleoffaith。“Itseemstome。”hesaidonce,“thatIamlikeoneofthosecaterpillarswhich,iftheyhavebeeninterruptedinmakingtheirhammock,mustbeginagainfromthebeginning。SolongasIwentbackalongwaydowninthesocialscaleIgotonallright,andshouldhavemademoneybutforEllen;
  whenItrytotakeuptheworkatahigherstageIfailcompletely。”
  Idonotknowwhethertheanalogyholdsgoodornot,butIamsureErnest’sinstinctwasrightintellinghimthatafteraheavyfallhehadbetterbeginlifeagainataverylowstage,andasIhavejustsaid,IwouldhavelethimgobacktohisshopifIhadnotknownwhatIdid。
  AsthetimefixeduponbyhisauntdrewnearerIpreparedhimmoreandmoreforwhatwascoming,andatlast,onhistwenty-eighthbirthday,Iwasabletotellhimallandtoshowhimthelettersignedbyhisauntuponherdeath-bedtotheeffectthatIwastoholdthemoneyintrustforhim。Hisbirthdayhappenedthatyear1863tobeonaSunday,butonthefollowingdayItransferredhissharesintohisownname,andpresentedhimwiththeaccountbookswhichhehadbeenkeepingforthelastyearandahalf。
  InspiteofallthatIhaddonetopreparehim,itwasalongwhilebeforeIcouldgethimactuallytobelievethatthemoneywashisown。Hedidnotsaymuch——nomoredidI,forIamnotsurethatI
  didnotfeelasmuchmovedathavingbroughtmylongtrusteeshiptoasatisfactoryconclusionasErnestdidatfindinghimselfownerofmorethan70,000pounds。Whenhedidspeakitwastojerkoutasentenceortwoofreflectionatatime。“IfIwererenderingthismomentinmusic。”hesaid,“Ishouldallowmyselffreeuseoftheaugmentedsixth。”AlittlelaterIrememberhissayingwithalaughthathadsomethingofafamilylikenesstohisaunt’s:“ItisnotthepleasureitcausesmewhichIenjoyso,itisthepainitwillcausetoallmyfriendsexceptyourselfandTowneley。”
  Isaid:“Youcannottellyourfatherandmother——itwoulddrivethemmad。”
  “No,no,no。”saidhe,“itwouldbetoocruel;itwouldbelikeIsaacofferingupAbrahamandnothicketwitharaminitnearathand。BesideswhyshouldI?Wehavecuteachotherthesefouryears。”
  ItalmostseemedasthoughourcasualmentionofTheobaldandChristinahadinsomewayexcitedthemfromadormanttoanactivestate。DuringtheyearsthathadelapsedsincetheylastappeareduponthescenetheyhadremainedatBattersby,andhadconcentratedtheiraffectionupontheirotherchildren。
  IthadbeenabitterpilltoTheobaldtolosehispowerofplaguinghisfirst-born;ifthetruthwereknownIbelievehehadfeltthismoreacutelythananydisgracewhichmighthavebeensheduponhimbyErnest’simprisonment。Hehadmadeoneortwoattemptstoreopennegotiationsthroughme,butIneversaidanythingaboutthemtoErnest,forIknewitwouldupsethim。Iwrote,however,toTheobaldthatIhadfoundhissoninexorable,andrecommendedhimforthepresent,atanyrate,todesistfromreturningtothesubject。ThisIthoughtwouldbeatoncewhatErnestwouldlikebestandTheobaldleast。
  Afewdays,however,afterErnesthadcomeintohisproperty,I
  receivedaletterfromTheobaldenclosingoneforErnestwhichI
  couldnotwithhold。
  Theletterranthus:-
  “TomysonErnest,——AlthoughyouhavemorethanoncerejectedmyoverturesIappealyetagaintoyourbetternature。Yourmother,whohaslongbeenailing,is,Ibelieve,nearherend;sheisunabletokeepanythingonherstomach,andDrMartinholdsoutbutlittlehopesofherrecovery。Shehasexpressedawishtoseeyou,andsayssheknowsyouwillnotrefusetocometoher,which,consideringhercondition,Iamunwillingtosupposeyouwill。