DuringthissameabsencewhathadMrsGoodhewandoldMissWrighttakentodoingbutturningtowardstheeastwhilerepeatingtheBelief?Theobalddislikedthisevenworsethanchanting。Whenhesaidsomethingaboutitinatimidwayatdinnerafterservice,Charlottesaid,“Really,papadear,youMUSTtaketocallingitthe’Creed’andnotthe’Belief’“;andTheobaldwincedimpatientlyandsnortedmeekdefiance,butthespiritofherauntsJaneandElizawasstronginCharlotte,andthethingwastoosmalltofightabout,andheturneditoffwithalaugh。“AsforCharlotte。”thoughtChristina,“IbelievesheknowsEVERYTHING。”SoMrsGoodhewandoldMissWrightcontinuedtoturntotheeastduringthetimetheCreedwassaid,andby-and-byothersfollowedtheirexample,anderelongthefewwhohadstoodoutyieldedandturnedeastwardtoo;andthenTheobaldmadeasthoughhehadthoughtitallveryrightandproperfromthefirst,butlikeithedidnot。By-and-byCharlottetriedtomakehimsay“Alleluia“insteadof“Hallelujah。”butthiswasgoingtoofar,andTheobaldturned,andshegotfrightenedandranaway。
Andtheychangedthedoublechantsforsingleones,andalteredthempsalmbypsalm,andinthemiddleofpsalms,justwhereacursoryreaderwouldseenoreasonwhytheyshoulddoso,theychangedfrommajortominorandfromminorbacktomajor;andthentheygot“HymnsAncientandModern。”and,asIhavesaid,theyrobbedhimofhisbelovedbands,andtheymadehimpreachinasurplice,andhemusthavecelebrationoftheHolyCommuniononceamonthinsteadofonlyfivetimesintheyearasheretofore,andhestruggledinvainagainsttheunseeninfluencewhichhefelttobeworkinginseasonandoutofseasonagainstallthathehadbeenaccustomedtoconsidermostdistinctiveofhisparty。Whereitwas,orwhatitwas,heknewnot,norexactlywhatitwoulddonext,butheknewexceedinglywellthatgowherehewoulditwasundermininghim;thatitwastoopersistentforhim;thatChristinaandCharlottelikeditagreatdealbetterthanhedid,andthatitcouldendinnothingbutRome。Easterdecorationsindeed!Christmasdecorations——inreason——wereproperenough,butEasterdecorations!well,itmightlasthistime。
ThiswasthecoursethingshadtakenintheChurchofEnglandduringthelastfortyyears。Thesethasbeensteadilyinonedirection。
Afewmenwhoknewwhattheywantedmadecats’pawsoftheChristmasandtheCharlottes,andtheChristmasandtheCharlottesmadecats’
pawsoftheMrsGoodhewsandtheoldMissWrights,andMrsGoodhewsandoldMissWrightstoldtheMrGoodhewsandyoungMissWrightswhattheyshoulddo,andwhentheMrGoodhewsandtheyoungMissWrightsdiditthelittleGoodhewsandtherestofthespiritualflockdidastheydid,andtheTheobaldswentfornothing;stepbystep,daybyday,yearbyyear,parishbyparish,diocesebydiocesethiswashowitwasdone。AndyettheChurchofEnglandlookswithnofriendlyeyesuponthetheoryofEvolutionorDescentwithModification。
Myherothoughtoverthesethings,andrememberedmanyaruseonthepartofChristinaandCharlotte,andmanyadetailofthestrugglewhichIcannotfurtherinterruptmystorytoreferto,andherememberedhisfather’sfavouriteretortthatitcouldonlyendinRome。Whenhewasaboyhehadfirmlybelievedthis,buthesmilednowashethoughtofanotheralternativeclearenoughtohimself,butsohorriblethatithadnotevenoccurredtoTheobald——Imeanthetopplingoverofthewholesystem。AtthattimehewelcomedthehopethattheabsurditiesandunrealitiesoftheChurchwouldendinherdownfall。Sincethenhehascometothinkverydifferently,notasbelievinginthecowjumpingoverthemoonmorethanheusedto,ormore,probably,thannine-tenthsoftheclergythemselves——whoknowaswellashedoesthattheiroutwardandvisiblesymbolsareoutofdate——butbecauseheknowsthebafflingcomplexityoftheproblemwhenitcomestodecidingwhatisactuallytobedone。
Also,nowthathehasseenthemmoreclosely,heknowsbetterthenatureofthosewolvesinsheep’sclothing,whoarethirstingforthebloodoftheirvictim,andexultingsoclamorouslyoveritsanticipatedearlyfallintotheirclutches。ThespiritbehindtheChurchistrue,thoughherletter——trueonce——isnowtruenolonger。
ThespiritbehindtheHighPriestsofScienceisaslyingasitsletter。TheTheobalds,whodowhattheydobecauseitseemstobethecorrectthing,butwhointheirheartsneitherlikeitnorbelieveinit,areinrealitytheleastdangerousofallclassestothepeaceandlibertiesofmankind。Themantofearishewhogoesatthingswiththecocksurenessofpushingvulgarityandself-
conceit。ThesearenotviceswhichcanbejustlylaidtothechargeoftheEnglishclergy。
ManyofthefarmerscameuptoErnestwhenservicewasover,andshookhandswithhim。Hefoundeveryoneknewofhishavingcomeintoafortune。ThefactwasthatTheobaldhadimmediatelytoldtwoorthreeofthegreatestgossipsinthevillage,andthestorywasnotlonginspreading。“Itsimplifiedmatters。”hehadsaidtohimself,“agooddeal。”ErnestwasciviltoMrsGoodhewforherhusband’ssake,buthegaveMissWrightthecutdirect,forheknewthatshewasonlyCharlotteindisguise。
Aweekpassedslowlyaway。TwoorthreetimesthefamilytookthesacramenttogetherroundChristina’sdeath-bed。Theobald’simpatiencebecamemoreandmoretransparentdaily,butfortunatelyChristinawhoevenifshehadbeenwellwouldhavebeenreadytoshuthereyestoitbecameweakerandlesscoherentinmindalso,sothatshehardly,ifatall,perceivedit。AfterErnesthadbeeninthehouseaboutaweekhismotherfellintoacomatosestatewhichlastedacoupleofdays,andintheendwentawaysopeacefullythatitwasliketheblendingofseaandskyinmid-oceanuponasofthazydaywhennonecansaywheretheearthendsandtheheavensbegin。Indeedshediedtotherealitiesoflifewithlesspainthanshehadwakedfrommanyofitsillusions。
“Shehasbeenthecomfortandmainstayofmylifeformorethanthirtyyears。”saidTheobaldassoonasallwasover,“butonecouldnotwishitprolonged。”andheburiedhisfaceinhishandkerchieftoconcealhiswantofemotion。
Ernestcamebacktotownthedayafterhismother’sdeath,andreturnedtothefuneralaccompaniedbymyself。HewantedmetoseehisfatherinordertopreventanypossiblemisapprehensionaboutMissPontifex’sintentions,andIwassuchanoldfriendofthefamilythatmypresenceatChristina’sfuneralwouldsurprisenoone。WithallherfaultsIhadalwaysratherlikedChristina。ShewouldhavechoppedErnestoranyoneelseintolittlepiecesofmincemeattogratifytheslightestwishofherhusband,butshewouldnothavechoppedhimupforanyoneelse,andsolongashedidnotcrosshershewasveryfondofhim。Bynatureshewasofaneventemper,morewillingtobepleasedthanruffled,veryreadytodoagood-naturedaction,provideditdidnotcosthermuchexertion,norinvolveexpensetoTheobald。Herownlittlepursedidnotmatter;anyonemighthaveasmuchofthatasheorshecouldgetaftershehadreservedwhatwasabsolutelynecessaryforherdress。IcouldnothearofherendasErnestdescribedittomewithoutfeelingverycompassionatetowardsher,indeedherownsoncouldhardlyhavefeltmoreso;Iatonce,therefore,consentedtogodowntothefuneral;perhapsIwasalsoinfluencedbyadesiretoseeCharlotteandJoey,inwhomIfeltinterestedonhearingwhatmygodsonhadtoldme。
IfoundTheobaldlookingremarkablywell。Everyonesaidhewasbearingitsobeautifully。Hedidindeedonceortwiceshakehisheadandsaythathiswifehadbeenthecomfortandmainstayofhislifeforoverthirtyyears,buttherethematterended。IstayedoverthenextdaywhichwasSunday,andtookmydepartureonthefollowingmorningafterhavingtoldTheobaldallthathissonwishedmetotellhim。TheobaldaskedmetohelphimwithChristina’sepitaph。
“Iwouldsay。”saidhe,“aslittleaspossible;eulogiesofthedepartedareinmostcasesbothunnecessaryanduntrue。Christina’sepitaphshallcontainnothingwhichshallbeeithertheoneortheother。Ishouldgivehername,thedatesofherbirthanddeath,andofcoursesayshewasmywife,andthenIthinkIshouldwindupwithasimpletext——herfavouriteoneforexample,noneindeedcouldbemoreappropriate,’BlessedarethepureinheartfortheyshallseeGod。’“
IsaidIthoughtthiswouldbeverynice,anditwassettled。SoErnestwassenttogivetheordertoMrProsser,thestonemasoninthenearesttown,whosaiditcamefrom“theBeetitudes。”
OnourwaytotownErnestbroachedhisplansforspendingthenextyearortwo。Iwantedhimtotryandgetmoreintosocietyagain,buthebrushedthisasideatonceastheverylastthinghehadafancyfor。Forsocietyindeedofallsorts,exceptofcoursethatofafewintimatefriends,hehadanunconquerableaversion。“I
alwaysdidhatethosepeople。”hesaid,“andtheyalwayshavehatedandalwayswillhateme。IamanIshmaelbyinstinctasmuchasbyaccidentofcircumstances,butifIkeepoutofsocietyIshallbelessvulnerablethanIshmaelsgenerallyare。Themomentamangoesintosociety,hebecomesvulnerableallround。”
Iwasverysorrytohearhimtalkinthisway;forwhateverstrengthamanmayhaveheshouldsurelybeabletomakemoreofitifheactinconcertthanalone。Isaidthis。
“Idon’tcare。”heanswered,“whetherImakethemostofmystrengthornot;Idon’tknowwhetherIhaveanystrength,butifIhaveI
daresayitwillfindsomewayofexertingitself。IwillliveasI
likeliving,notasotherpeoplewouldlikemetolive;thankstomyauntandyouIcanaffordtheluxuryofaquietunobtrusivelifeofself-indulgence。”saidhelaughing,“andImeantohaveit。YouknowIlikewriting。”headdedafterapauseofsomeminutes,“I
havebeenascribblerforyears。IfIamtocometotheforeatallitmustbebywriting。”
Ihadalreadylongsincecometothatconclusionmyself。