OnleavingthecourtaletterfromMrDawsonwasputintomyhand。Itinformedmethathewasabsentonprofessionalduty,anditreiteratedtheofferIhadalreadyreceivedfromhimofanyassistancewhichImightrequireathishands。Iwroteback,warmlyacknowledgingmyobligationstohiskindness,andapologisingfornotexpressingmythankspersonally,inconsequenceofmyimmediaterecallonpressingbusinesstotown。
HalfanhourlaterIwasspeedingbacktoLondonbytheexpresstrain。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]WomaninWhite:Chapter37[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter37XIIItwasbetweennineandteno’clockbeforeIreachedFulham,andfoundmywaytoGower’sWalk。
BothLauraandMariancametothedoortoletmein。Ithinkwehadhardlyknownhowclosethetiewaswhichboundusthreetogether,untiltheeveningcamewhichunitedusagain。Wemetasifwehadbeenpartedformonthsinsteadofforafewdaysonly。Marian’sfacewassadlywornandanxious。IsawwhohadknownallthedangerandborneallthetroubleinmyabsencethemomentIlookedather。Laura’sbrighterlooksandbetterspiritstoldmehowcarefullyshehadbeensparedallknowledgeofthedreadfuldeathatWelmingham,andofthetruereasonofourchangeofabode。
Thestiroftheremovalseemedtohavecheeredandinterestedher。SheonlyspokeofitasahappythoughtofMarian’stosurprisemeonmyreturnwiththechangefromtheclose,noisystreettothepleasantneighbourhoodoftreesandfieldsandtheriver。Shewasfullofprojectsforthefuture——ofthedrawingsshewastofinish——ofthepurchasersIhadfoundinthecountrywhoweretobuythem——oftheshillingsandsixpencesshehadsaved,tillherpursewassoheavythatsheproudlyaskedmetoweighitinmyownhand。ThechangeforthebetterwhichhadbeenwroughtinherduringthefewdaysofmyabsencewasasurprisetomeforwhichI
wasquiteunprepared——andforalltheunspeakablehappinessofseeingit,IwasindebtedtoMarian’scourageandtoMarian’slove。
WhenLaurahadleftus,andwhenwecouldspeaktooneanotherwithoutrestraint,Itriedtogivesomeexpressiontothegratitudeandtheadmirationwhichfilledmyheart。Butthegenerouscreaturewouldnotwaittohearme。Thatsublimeself-forgetfulnessofwomen,whichyieldssomuchandaskssolittle,turnedallherthoughtsfromherselftome。
`Ihadonlyamomentleftbeforepost-time,’shesaid,`orIshouldhavewrittenlessabruptly。Youlookwornandweary,Walter。Iamafraidmylettermusthaveseriouslyalarmedyou?’
`Onlyatfirst,’Ireplied。`Mymindwasquieted,Marian,bymytrustinyou。WasIrightinattributingthissuddenchangeofplacetosomethreatenedannoyanceonthepartofCountFosco?’
`Perfectlyright,’shesaid。`Isawhimyesterday,andworsethanthat,Walter——Ispoketohim。’
`Spoketohim?Didheknowwherewelived?Didhecometothehouse?’
`Hedid。Tothehouse——butnotupstairs。Lauraneversawhim——Laurasuspectsnothing。Iwilltellyouhowithappened:thedanger,Ibelieveandhope,isovernow。Yesterday,Iwasinthesitting-room,atouroldlodgings。Laurawasdrawingatthetable,andIwaswalkingaboutandsettingthingstorights。Ipassedthewindow,andasIpassedit,lookedoutintothestreet。There,ontheoppositesideoftheway,IsawtheCount,withamantalkingtohim——’
`Didhenoticeyouatthewindow?’
`No——atleast,Ithoughtnot。Iwastooviolentlystartledtobequitesure。’
`Whowastheotherman?Astranger?’
`Notastranger,Walter。AssoonasIcoulddrawmybreathagain,I
recognisedhim。HewastheowneroftheLunaticAsylum。’
`WastheCountpointingoutthehousetohim?’
`No,theyweretalkingtogetherasiftheyhadaccidentallymetinthestreet。Iremainedatthewindowlookingatthemfrombehindthecurtain。
IfIhadturnedround,andifLaurahadseenmyfaceatthatmoment——
ThankGod,shewasabsorbedoverherdrawing!Theysoonparted。ThemanfromtheAsylumwentoneway,andtheCounttheother。Ibegantohopetheywereinthestreetbychance,tillIsawtheCountcomeback,stopoppositetousagain,takeouthiscard-caseandpencil,writesomething,andthencrosstheroadtotheshopbelowus。IranpastLaurabeforeshecouldseeme,andsaidIhadforgottensomethingupstairs。AssoonasI
wasoutoftheroomIwentdowntothefirstlandingandwaited——Iwasdeterminedtostophimifhetriedtocomeupstairs。Hemadenosuchattempt。
Thegirlfromtheshopcamethroughthedoorintothepassage,withhiscardinherhand——alargegiltcardwithhisname,andacoronetaboveit,andtheselinesunderneathinpencil:``Dearlady’’yes!thevillaincouldaddressmeinthatwaystill——``dearlady,oneword,Iimploreyou,onamatterserioustousboth。’’Ifonecanthinkatall,inseriousdifficulties,onethinksquickly。Ifeltdirectlythatitmightbeafatalmistaketoleavemyselfandtoleaveyouinthedark,wheresuchamanastheCountwasconcerned。Ifeltthatthedoubtofwhathemightdo,inyourabsence,wouldbetentimesmoretryingtomeifIdeclinedtoseehimthanifIconsented。``Askthegentlemantowaitintheshop,’’
Isaid。``Iwillbewithhiminamoment。’’Iranupstairsformybonnet,beingdeterminednottolethimspeaktomeindoors。Iknewhisdeepringingvoice,andIwasafraidLauramighthearit,evenintheshop。InlessthanaminuteIwasdownagaininthepassage,andhadopenedthedoorintothestreet。Hecameroundtomeetmefromtheshop。Therehewasindeepmourning,withhissmoothbowandhisdeadlysmile,andsomeidleboysandwomennearhim,staringathisgreatsize,hisfineblackclothes,andhislargecanewiththegoldknobtoit。AllthehorribletimeatBlackwatercamebacktomethemomentIseteyesonhim。Alltheoldloathingcreptandcrawledthroughme,whenhetookoffhishatwithaflourishandspoketome,asifwehadpartedonthefriendliesttermshardlyadaysince。’
`Yourememberwhathesaid?’
`Ican’trepeatit,Walter。Youshallknowdirectlywhathesaidaboutyou——butIcan’trepeatwhathesaidtome。Itwasworsethanthepoliteinsolenceofhisletter。Myhandstingledtostrikehim,asifIhadbeenaman!Ionlykeptthemquietbytearinghiscardtopiecesundermyshawl。Withoutsayingawordonmyside,IwalkedawayfromthehouseforfearofLauraseeingus,andhefollowed,protestingsoftlyalltheway。InthefirstbystreetIturned,andaskedhimwhathewantedwithme。Hewantedtwothings。First,ifIhadnoobjection,toexpresshissentiments。Ideclinedtohearthem。Secondly,torepeatthewarninginhisletter。Iasked,whatoccasiontherewasforrepeatingit。Hebowedandsmiled,andsaidhewouldexplain。TheexplanationexactlyconfirmedthefearsIexpressedbeforeyouleftus。Itoldyou,ifyouremember,thatSirPercivalwouldbetooheadstrongtotakehisfriend’sadvicewhereyouwereconcerned,andthattherewasnodangertobedreadedfromtheCounttillhisowninterestswerethreatened,andhewasrousedintoactingforhimself?’
`Irecollect,Marian。’
`Well,soithasreallyturnedout。TheCountofferedhisadvice,butitwasrefused。SirPercivalwouldonlytakecounselofhisownviolence,hisownobstinacy,andhisownhatredofyou。TheCountlethimhavehisway,firstprivatelyascertaining,incaseofhisowninterestsbeingthreatenednext,wherewelived。Youwerefollowed,Walter,onreturninghere,afteryourfirstjourneytoHampshire,bythelawyer’smenforsomedistancefromtherailway,andbytheCounthimselftothedoorofthehouse。Howhecontrivedtoescapebeingseenbyyouhedidnottellme,buthefoundusoutonthatoccasion,andinthatway。Havingmadethediscovery,hetooknoadvantageofittillthenewsreachedhimofSirPercival’sdeath,andthen,asItoldyou,heactedforhimself,becausehebelievedyouwouldnextproceedagainstthedeadman’spartnerintheconspiracy。HeatoncemadehisarrangementstomeettheowneroftheAsyluminLondon,andtotakehimtotheplacewherehisrunawaypatientwashidden,believingthattheresults,whicheverwaytheyended,wouldbetoinvolveyouininterminablelegaldisputesanddifficulties,andtotieyourhandsforallpurposesofoffence,sofarashewasconcerned。Thatwashispurpose,onhisownconfessiontome。Theonlyconsiderationwhichmadehimhesitate,atthelastmoment——’
`Yes?’
`Itishardtoacknowledgeit,Walter,andyetImust。Iwastheonlyconsideration。NowordscansayhowdegradedIfeelinmyownestimationwhenIthinkofit,buttheoneweakpointinthatman’sironcharacteristhehorribleadmirationhefeelsforme。Ihavetried,forthesakeofmyownself-respect,todisbelieveitaslongasIcould;
buthislooks,hisactions,forceonmetheshamefulconvictionofthetruth。Theeyesofthatmonsterofwickednessmoistenedwhilehewasspeakingtome——theydid,Walter!Hedeclaredthatatthemomentofpointingoutthehousetothedoctor,hethoughtofmymiseryifIwasseparatedfromLaura,ofmyresponsibilityifIwascalledontoanswerforeffectingherescape,andheriskedtheworsethatyoucoulddotohim,thesecondtime,formysake。AllheaskedwasthatIwouldrememberthesacrifice,andrestrainyourrashness,inmyowninterests——interestswhichhemightneverbeabletoconsultagain。Imadenosuchbargainwithhim——Iwouldhavediedfirst。Butbelievehimornot,whetheritistrueorfalsethathesentthedoctorawaywithanexcuse,onethingiscertain,Isawthemanleavehimwithoutsomuchasaglanceatourwindow,orevenatoursideoftheway。’
`Ibelieveit,Marian。Thebestmenarenotconsistentingood——whyshouldtheworstmenbeconsistentinevil?Atthesametime,Isuspecthimofmerelyattemptingtofrightenyou,bythreateningwhathecannotreallydo。Idoubthispowerofannoyingus,bymeansoftheowneroftheAsylum,nowthatSirPercivalisdead,andMrsCatherickisfreefromallcontrol。Butletmehearmore。WhatdidtheCountsayofme?’
`Hespokelastofyou。Hiseyesbrightenedandhardened,andhismannerchangedtowhatIrememberitinpasttimes——tothatmixtureofpitilessresolutionandmountebankmockerywhichmakesitsoimpossibletofathomhim。``WarnMrHartright!’’hesaidinhisloftiestmanner。``Hehasamanofbrainstodealwith,amanwhosnapshisbigfingersatthelawsandconventionsofsociety,whenhemeasureshimselfwithME。Ifmylamentedfriendhadtakenmyadvice,thebusinessoftheinquestwouldhavebeenwiththebodyofMrHartright。Butmylamentedfriendwasobstinate。See!
Imournhisloss——inwardlyinmysoul,outwardlyonmyhat。ThistrivialcrapeexpressessensibilitieswhichIsummonMrHartrighttorespect。Theymaybetransformedtoimmeasurableenmitiesifheventurestodisturbthem。