IowedittoMariantoconsultherbeforeIspoketoLaura,andtobeguidedafterwardsbyheradvice。
OnthethirddayfromourarrivalIfoundafitopportunityofspeakingtoheralone。Themomentwelookedatoneanother,herquickinstinctdetectedthethoughtinmymindbeforeIcouldgiveitexpression。Withhercustomaryenergyanddirectnessshespokeatonce,andspokefirst。
`YouarethinkingofthatsubjectwhichwasmentionedbetweenusontheeveningofyourreturnfromHampshire,’shesaid。`Ihavebeenexpectingyoutoalludetoitforsometimepast。Theremustbeachangeinourlittlehousehold,Walter,wecannotgoonmuchlongeraswearenow。Iseeitasplainlyasyoudo——asplainlyasLauraseesit,thoughshesaysnothing。
HowstrangelytheoldtimesinCumberlandseemtohavecomeback!YouandIaretogetheragain,andtheonesubjectofinterestbetweenusisLauraoncemore。Icouldalmostfancythatthisroomisthesummer-houseatLimmeridge,andthatthosewavesbeyondusarebeatingonourseashore。’
`Iwasguidedbyyouradviceinthosepastdays,’Isaid,`andnow,Marian,withreliancetenfoldgreaterIwillbeguidedbyitagain。’
Sheansweredbypressingmyhand。Isawthatshewasdeeplytouchedbymyreferencetothepast。Wesattogethernearthewindow,andwhileIspokeandshelistened,welookedatthegloryofthesunlightshiningonthemajestyofthesea。
`Whateverconiesofthisconfidencebetweenus,’Isaid,`whetheritendshappilyorsorrowfullyforme,Laura’sinterestswillstillbetheinterestsofmylife。Whenweleavethisplace,onwhatevertermsweleaveit,mydeterminationtowrestfromCountFoscotheconfessionwhichIfailedtoobtainfromhisaccomPlice,goesbackwithmetoLondon,ascertainlyasIgobackmyself。NeitheryounorIcantellhowthatmanmayturnonme,ifIbringhimtobay;weonlyknow,byhisownwordsandactions,thatheiscapableofstrikingatmethroughLaura,withoutamoment’shesitation,oramoment’sremorse。InourpresentpositionIhavenoclaimonherwhichsocietysanctions,whichthelawallows,tostrengthenmeinresistinghim,andinprotectingher。Thisplacesmeataseriousdisadvantage。
IfIamtofightourcausewiththeCount,strongintheconsciousnessofLaura’ssafety,ImustfightitformyWife。Doyouagreetothat,Marian,sofar?’
`Toeverywordofit,’sheanswered。
`Iwillnotpleadoutofmyownheart,’Iwenton;`Iwillnotappealtothelovewhichhassurvivedallchangesandallshocks——Iwillrestmyonlyvindicationofmyselfforthinkingofher,andspeakingofherasmywife,onwhatIhavejustsaid。IfthechanceofforcingaconfessionfromtheCountis,asIbelieveittobe,thelastchanceleftofpubliclyestablishingthefactofLaura’sexistence,theleastselfishreasonthatIcanadvanceforourmarriageisrecognisedbyusboth。ButImaybewronginmyconviction——othermeansofachievingourpurposemaybeinourpower,whicharelessuncertainandlessdangerous。Ihavesearchedanxiously,inmyownmind,forthosemeans,andIhavenotfoundthem。Haveyou?’
`No。Ihavethoughtaboutittoo,andthoughtinvain。’
`Inalllikelihood,’Icontinued,`thesamequestionshaveoccurredtoyou,inconsideringthisdifficultsubject,whichhaveoccurredtome。
OughtwetoreturnwithhertoLimmeridge,nowthatsheislikeherselfagain,andtrusttotherecognitionofherbythepeopleofthevillage,orbythechildrenattheschool?Oughtwetoappealtothepracticaltestofherhandwriting?Supposewedidso。Supposetherecognitionofherobtained,andtheidentityofthehandwritingestablished。Wouldsuccessinboththosecasesdomorethansupplyanexcellentfoundationforatrialinacourtoflaw?WouldtherecognitionandthehandwritingproveheridentitytoMrFairlieandtakeherbacktoLimmeridgeHouse,againsttheevidenceofheraunt,againsttheevidenceofthemedicalcertificate,againstthefactofthefuneralandthefactoftheinscriptiononthetomb?No!Wecouldonlyhopetosucceedinthrowingaseriousdoubtontheassertionofherdeath,adoubtwhichnothingshortofalegalinquirycansettle。
Iwillassumethatwepossesswhatwehavecertainlynotgotmoneyenoughtocarrythisinquiryonthroughallitsstages。IwillassumethatMrFairlie’sprejudicesmightbereasonedaway——thatthefalsetestimonyoftheCountandhiswife,andalltherestofthefalsetestimony,mightbeconfuted——thattherecognitioncouldnotpossiblybeascribedtoamistakebetweenLauraandAnneCatherick,orthehandwritingbedeclaredbyourenemiestobeacleverfraud——alltheseareassumptionswhich,moreorless,setplainprobabilitiesatdefiance;butletthempass——
andletusaskourselveswhatwouldbethefirstconsequenceorthefirstquestionsputtoLauraherselfonthesubjectoftheconspiracy。Weknowonlytoowellwhattheconsequencewouldbe,forweknowthatshehasneverrecoveredhermemoryofwhathappenedtoherinLondon。Examineherprivately,orexamineherpublicly,sheisutterlyincapableofassistingtheassertionofherowncase。Ifyoudon’tseethis,Marian,asplainlyasIseeit,wewillgotoLimmeridgeandtrytheexperimenttomorrow。’
`Idoseeit,Walter。Evenifwehadthemeansofpayingallthelawexpenses,evenifwesucceededintheend,thedelayswouldbeunendurable,theperpetualsuspense,afterwhatwehavesufferedalready,wouldbeheartbreaking。
YouarerightaboutthehopelessnessofgoingtoLimmeridge。IwishIcouldfeelsurethatyouarerightalsoindeterminingtotrythatlastchancewiththeCount。Isitachanceatall?’
`Beyondadoubt,Yes。ItisthechanceofrecoveringthelostdateofLaura’sjourneytoLondon。WithoutreturningtothereasonsIgaveyousometimesince,Iamstillasfirmlypersuadedaseverthatthereisadiscrepancybetweenthedateofthatjourneyandthedateonthecertificateofdeath。Thereliestheweakpointofthewholeconspiracy——itcrumblestopiecesifweattackitinthatway,andthemeansofattackingitareinpossessionoftheCount。IfIsucceedinwrestingthemfromhim,theobjectofyourlifeandmineisfulfilled。IfIfail,thewrongthatLaurahassufferedwill,inthisworld,neverberedressed。’
`Doyoufearfailureyourself,Walter?’
`Idarenotanticipatesuccess,andforthatveryreason,Marian,I
speakopenlyandplainlyasIhavespokennow。InmyheartandmyconscienceIcansayit,Laura’shopesforthefutureareattheirlowestebb。Iknowthatherfortuneisgone——Iknowthatthelastchanceofrestoringhertoherplaceintheworldliesatthemercyofherworstenemy,ofamanwhoisnowabsolutelyunassailable,andwhomayremainunassailabletotheend。Witheveryworldlyadvantagegonefromher,withallprospectofrecoveringherrankandstationmorethandoubtful,withnoclearerfuturebeforeherthanthefuturewhichherhusbandcanprovide,thepoordrawing-mastermayharmlesslyopenhisheartatlast。Inthedaysofherprosperity,Marian,Iwasonlytheteacherwhoguidedherhand——Iaskforit,inheradversity,asthehandofmywife!’
Marian’seyesmetmineaffectionately——Icouldsaynomore。Myheartwasfull,mylipsweretrembling。InspiteofmyselfIwasindangerofappealingtoherpity。Igotuptoleavetheroom。Sheroseatthesamemoment,laidherhandgentlyonmyshoulder,andstoppedme。
`Walter!’shesaid,`Ioncepartedyouboth,foryourgoodandforhers。
Waithere,mybrother!——wait,mydearest,bestfriend,tillLauracomes,andtellsyouwhatIhavedonenow!’
ForthefirsttimesincethefarewellmorningatLimmeridgeshetouchedmyforeheadwithherlips。Ateardroppedonmyfaceasshekissedme。
Sheturnedquickly,PointedtothechairfromwhichIhadrisen,andlefttheroom。
Isatdownaloneatthewindowtowaitthroughthecrisisofmylife。
Mymindinthatbreathlessintervalfeltlikeatotalblank。Iwasconsciousofnothingbutapainfulintensityofallfamiliarperceptions。Thesungrewblindingbright,thewhiteseabirdschasingeachotherfarbeyondmeseemedtobeflittingbeforemyface,themellowmurmurofthewavesonthebeachwaslikethunderinmyears。
Thedooropened,andLauracameinalone。Soshehadenteredthebreakfast-roomatLimmeridgeHouseonthemorningwhenweparted。Slowlyandfalteringly,insorrowandinhesitation,shehadonceapproachedme。Nowshecamewiththehasteofhappinessinherfeet,withthelightofhappinessradiantinherface。Oftheirownaccordthosedeararmsclaspedthemselvesroundme,oftheirownaccordthesweetlipscametomeetmine。`Mydarling!’
shewhispered,`wemayownweloveeachothernow?’Herheadnestledwithatendercontentednessonmybosom。`Oh,’shesaidinnocently,`Iamsohappyatlast!’
Tendayslaterwewerehappierstill。Weweremarried。IIThecourseofthisnarrative,steadilyflowingon,bearsmeawayfromthemorning-timeofourmarriedlife,andcarriesmeforwardtotheend。
InafortnightmorewethreewerebackinLondon,andtheshadowwasstealingoverusofthestruggletocome。
MarianandIwerecarefultokeepLaurainignoranceofthecausethathadhurriedusback——thenecessityofmakingsureoftheCount。ItwasnowthebeginningofMay,andhistermofoccupationatthehouseinforestRoadexpiredinJune。IfhereneweditandIhadreasons,shortlytobementioned,foranticipatingthathewould,Imightbecertainofhisnotescapingme。Butifbyanychancehedisappointedmyexpectationsandleftthecountry,thenIhadnotimetoloseinarmingmyselftomeethimasIbestmight。
Inthefirstfullnessofmynewhappiness,therehadbeenmomentswhenmyresolutionfaltered——momentswhenIwastemptedtobesafelycontent,nowthatthedearestaspirationofmylifewasfulfilledinthepossessionofLaura’slove。ForthefirsttimeIthoughtfaint-heartedlyofthegreatnessoftherisk,oftheadversechancesarrayedagainstme,ofthefairpromiseofournewlife,andoftheperilinwhichImightplacethehappinesswhichwehadsohardlyearned。Yes!letmeownithonestly。ForabrieftimeIwandered,inthesweetguidingoflove,farfromthepurposetowhichIhadbeentrueundersternerdisciplineandindarkerdays。InnocentlyLaurahadtemptedmeasidefromthehardpath——innocentlyshewasdestinedtoleadmebackagain。