Letmyunclehavehisway。Letushavenomoretroublesandheart-burningsthatanysacrificeofminecanprevent。Sayyouwilllivewithme，Marian，whenIammarried——andsaynomore。’
　　ButIdidsaymore。Iforcedbackthecontemptibletearsthatwerenorelieftome，andthatonlydistressedher，andreasonedandpleadedascalmlyasIcould。Itwasofnoavail。Shemademetwicerepeatthepromisetolivewithherwhenshewasmarried，andthensuddenlyaskedaquestionwhichturnedmysorrowandmysympathyforherintoanewdirection。
　　`WhilewewereatPolesdean，’shesaid，`youhadaletter，Man-an——’
　　Heralteredtone——theabruptmannerinwhichshelookedawayfrommeandhidherfaceonmyshoulder——thehesitationwhichsilencedherbeforeshehadcompletedherquestion，alltoldme，buttooplainly，towhomthehalf-expressedinquirypointed。
　　`Ithought，Laura，thatyouandIwerenevertorefertohimagain，’
　　Isaidgently。
　　`Youhadaletterfromhim？’shepersisted。
　　`Yes，’Ireplied，`ifyoumustknowit。’
　　`Doyoumeantowritetohimagain？’
　　Ihesitated。IhadbeenafraidtotellherofhisabsencefromEngland，orofthemannerinwhichmyexertionstoservehisnewhopesandprojectshadconnectedmewithhisdeparture。WhatanswercouldImake？Hewasgonewherenoletterscouldreachhimformonths，perhapsforyears，tocome。
　　`SupposeIdomeantowritetohimagain，’Isaidatlast。`Whatthen，Laura？’
　　Hercheekgrewburninghotagainstmyneck，andherarmstrembledandtightenedroundme。
　　`Don’ttellhimaboutthetwenty-second，’shewhispered。`Promise，Marian——praypromiseyouwillnotevenmentionmynametohimwhenyouwritenext。’
　　Igavethepromise。NowordscansayhowsorrowfullyIgaveit。Sheinstantlytookheramfrommywaist，walkedawaytothewindow。andstoodlookingoutwithherbacktome。Afteramomentshespokeoncemore，butwithoutturninground，withoutallowingmetocatchthesmallestglimpseofherface。
　　`Areyougoingtomyuncle’sroom？’sheasked。`WillyousaythatI
　　consenttowhateverarrangementhemaythinkbest？Nevermindleavingme，Marian。Ishallbebetteraloneforalittlewhile。’
　　Iwentout。If，assoonasIgotintothepassage，IcouldhavetransportedMrFairlieandSirPercivalGlydetotheuttermostendsoftheearthbyliftingoneofmyfingers，thatfingerwouldhavebeenraisedwithoutaninstant’shesitation。Foroncemyunhappytempernowstoodmyfriend。I
　　shouldhavebrokendownaltogetherandburstintoaviolentfitofcrying，ifmytearshadnotbeenallburntupintheheatofmyanger。Asitwas，IdashedintoMrFairlie’sroom——calledtohimasharshlyaspossible，`Lauraconsentstothetwenty-second’——anddashedoutagainwithoutwaitingforawordofanswer。Ibangedthedoorafterme，andIhopeIshatteredMrFairlie’snervoussystemfortherestoftheday。
　　28th——ThismorningIreadpoorHartright’sfarewellletteroveragain，adoubthavingcrossedmymindsinceyesterday，whetherIamactingwiselyinconcealingthefactofhisdeparturefromLaura。
　　Onreflection，IstillthinkIamright。TheallusionsinhislettertothepreparationsmadefortheexpeditiontoCentralAmerica，allshowthattheleadersofitknowittobedangerous。Ifthediscoveryofthismakesmeuneasy，whatwoulditmakeher？Itisbadenoughtofeelthathisdeparturehasdeprivedusofthefriendofallotherstowhosedevotionwecouldtrustinthehourofneed，ifeverthathourcomesandfindsushelpless；butitisfarworsetoknowthathehasgonefromustofacetheperilsofabadclimate，awildcountry，andadisturbedpopulation。
　　SurelyitwouldbeacruelcandourtotellLaurathis，withoutapressingandapositivenecessityforit？
　　IalmostdoubtwhetherIoughtnottogoastepfarther，andburntheletteratonce，forfearofitsonedayfallingintowronghands。ItnotonlyreferstoLauraintermswhichoughttoremainasecretforeverbetweenthewriterandme，butitreiterateshissuspicion——soobstinate，sounaccountable，andsoalarming——thathehasbeensecretlywatchedsinceheleftLimmeridge。HedeclaresthathesawthefacesofthetwostrangemenwhofollowedhimaboutthestreetsofLondon，watchinghimamongthecrowdwhichgatheredatLiverpooltoseetheexpeditionembark，andhepositivelyassertsthatheheardthenameofAnneCatherickpronouncedbehindhimashegotintotheboat。Hisownwordsare，`Theseeventshaveameaning，theseeventsmustleadtoaresult。ThemysteryofAnneCatherickisnotclearedupyet。Shemaynevercrossmypathagain，butifevershecrossesyours，makebetteruseoftheopportunity，MissHalcombe，thanImadeofit。Ispeakonstrongconviction——IentreatyoutorememberwhatIsay。’Thesearehisownexpressions。Thereisnodangerofmyforgettingthem——mymemoryisonlytooreadytodwellonanywordsofHartright’sthatrefertoAnneCatherick。Butthereisdangerinmykeepingtheletter。
　　Themerestaccidentmightplaceitatthemercyofstrangers。Imayfallill——Imaydie。Bettertoburniatonce，andhaveoneanxietytheless。
　　Itisburnt。Theashesofhisfarewellletter——thelasthemayeverwritetome——heinafewblackfragmentsonthehearth。Isthisthesadendtoallthatsadstory？Oh，nottheend——surely，surelynottheendalready！
　　29th——Thepreparationsforthemarriagehavebegun。Thedressmakerhascometoreceiveherorders。Lauraisperfectlyimpassive，perfectlycarelessaboutthequestionofallothersinwhichawoman’spersonalinterestsaremostcloselyboundup。Shehasleftitalltothedressmakerandtome。IfpoorHartrighthadbeenthebaronet，andthehusbandofherfather’schoice，howdifferentlyshewouldhavebehaved！Howanxiousandcapriciousshewouldhavebeen，andwhatahardtaskthebestofdressmakerswouldhavefoundittopleaseher！
　　30th——WeheareverydayfromSirPercival。Thelastnewsisthatthealterationsinhishousewilloccupyfromfourtosixmonthsbeforetheycanbeproperlycompleted。Ifpainters，paperhangers，andupholstererscouldmakehappinessaswellassplendour，IshouldbeinterestedabouttheirproceedingsinLaura’sfuturehome。Asitis，theonlypartofSirPercival’slastletterwhichdoesnotleavemeasitfoundme，perfectlyindifferenttoallhisplansandprojects，isthepartwhichreferstotheweddingtour。Heproposes，asLauraisdelicate，andasthewinterthreatenstobeunusuallysevere，totakehertoRome，andtoremaininItalyuntiltheearlypartofnextsummer。Ifthisplanshouldnotbeapproved，heisequallyready，althoughhehasnoestablishmentofhisownintown，tospendtheseasoninLondon，inthemostsuitablefurnishedhousethatcanbeobtainedforthepurpose。
　　Puttingmyselfandmyownfeelingsentirelyoutofthequestionwhichitismydutytodo，andwhichIhavedone，I，forone，havenodoubtoftheproprietyofadoptingthefirstoftheseproposals-IneithercaseaseparationbetweenLauraandmeisinevitable。Itwillbealongerseparation，intheeventoftheirgoingabroad，thanitwouldbeintheeventoftheirremaininginLondon——butwemustsetagainstthisdisadvantagethebenefittoLaura，ontheotherside，ofpassingthewinterinamildclimate，andmorethanthat，theimmenseassistanceinraisingherspirits，andreconcilinghertohernewexistence，whichthemerewonderandexcitementoftravellingforthefirsttimeinherlifeinthemostinterestingcountryintheworld，mustsurelyafford。SheisnotofadispositiontofindresourcesintheconventionalgaietiesandexcitementsofLondon。Theywouldonlymakethefirstoppressionofthislamentablemarriagefalltheheavieronher。I
　　dreadthebeginningofhernewlifemorethanwordscantell，butIseesomehopeforherifshetravels——noneifsheremainsathome。
　　Itisstrangetolookbackatthislatestentryinmyjournal，andtofindthatIamwritingofthemarriageandthepartingwithLaura，aspeoplewriteofasettledthing。Itseemssocoldandsounfeelingtobelookingatthefuturealreadyinthiscruellycomposedway。Butwhatotherwayispossible，nowthatthetimeisdrawingsonear？BeforeanothermonthisoverourheadsshewillbehisLaurainsteadofmine！HisLaura！
　　Iamaslittleabletorealisetheideawhichthosetwowordsconvey——
　　mymindfeelsalmostasdulledandstunnedbyit——asifwritingofhermarriagewerelikewritingofherdeath。
　　December1st——Asad，sadday——adaythatIhavenohearttodescribeatlength。Afterweaklyputtingitofflastnight，IwasobligedtospeaktoherthismorningofSirPercival’sproposalabouttheweddingtour。
　　InthefullconvictionthatIshouldbewithherwherevershewent，thepoorchild——forachildsheisstillinmanythings——wasalmosthappyattheprospectofseeingthewondersofFlorenceandRomeandNaples。
　　Itnearlybrokemyhearttodispelherdelusion，andtobringherfacetofacewiththehardtruth。Iwasobligedtotellherthatnomantoleratesarival——notevenawomanrival——inhiswife’saffections，whenhefirstmarries，whateverhemaydoafterwards。Iwasobligedtowarnherthatmychanceoflivingwithherpermanentlyunderherownroof，dependedentirelyonmynotarousingSirPercival’sjealousyanddistrustbystandingbetweenthematthebeginningoftheirmarriage，inthepositionofthechosendepositaryofhiswife’sclosestsecrets。DropbydropIpouredtheprofaningbitternessofthisworld’swisdomintothatpureheartandthatinnocentmind，whileeveryhigherandbetterfeelingwithinmerecoiledfrommymiserabletask。Itisovernow。Shehaslearntherhard，herinevitablelesson。Thesimpleillusionsofhergirlhoodaregone，andmyhandhasstrippedthemoff。Betterminethanhis——thatisallmyconsolation——
　　betterminethanhis。
　　Sothefirstproposalistheproposalaccepted。TheyaretogotoItaly，andIamtoarrange，withSirPercival’spermission，formeetingthemandstayingwiththemwhentheyreturntoEngland。Inotherwords，Iamtoaskapersonalfavour，forthefirsttimeinmylife，andtoaskitofthemanofallotherstowhomlleastdesiretooweaseriousobligationofanykind。Well！IthinkIcoulddoevenmorethanthat，forLaura’ssake。
　　2nd——Onlookingback，IfindmyselfalwaysreferringtoSirPercivalindisparagingterms。Intheturnaffairshavenowtaken，lmustandwillrootoutmyprejudiceagainsthim。Icannotthinkhowitfirstgotintomymind。Itcertainlyneverexistedinformertimes。