Theelderlylady,whenIwaspresentedtoher,provedtobeMissFairlie’sformergoverness,MrsVesey,whohadbeenbrieflydescribedtomebymylivelycompanionatthebreakfast-table,aspossessedof`allthecardinalvirtues,andcountingfornothing。’IcandolittlemorethanoffermyhumbletestimonytothetruthfulnessofMissHalcombe’ssketchoftheoldlady’scharacter。MrsVeseylookedthepersonificationofhumancomposureandfemaleamiability。Acalmenjoymentofacalmexistencebeamedindrowsysmilesonherplump,placidface。Someofusrushthroughlife,andsomeofussaunterthroughlife。MrsVeseysatthroughlife。Satinthehouse,earlyandlate;satinthegarden;satinunexpectedwindow-seatsinpassages;
satonacamp-stoolwhenherfriendstriedtotakeheroutwalking;satbeforeshelookedatanything,beforeshetalkedofanything,beforesheansweredYes,orNo,tothecommonestquestion——alwayswiththesameserenesmileonherlips,thesamevacantly-attentiveturnofthehead,thesamesnugly-comfortablepositionofherhandsandarms,undereverypossiblechangeofdomesticcircumstances。Amild,acompliant,anunutterablytranquilandharmlessoldlady,whoneverbyanychancesuggestedtheideathatshehadbeenactuallyalivesincethehourofherbirth。Naturehassomuchtodointhisworld,andisengagedingeneratingsuchavastvarietyofco-existentproductions,thatshemustsurelybenowandthentooflurriedandconfusedtodistinguishbetweenthedifferentprocessesthatsheiscarryingonatthesametime。Startingfromthispointofview,itwillalwaysremainmyprivatepersuasionthatNaturewasabsorbedinmakingcabbageswhenMrsVeseywasborn,andthatthegoodladysufferedtheconsequencesofavegetablepreoccupationinthemindoftheMotherofusall。
`Now,MrsVesey,’saidMissHalcombe,lookingbrighter,sharper,andreadierthanever,bycontrastwiththeundemonstrativeoldladyatherside,`whatwillyouhave?Acutlet?’
MrsVeseycrossedherdimpledhandsontheedgeofthetable,smiledplacidly,andsaid,`Yes。dear。’
`WhatisthatoppositeMrHartright?Boiledchicken,isitnot?Ithoughtyoulikedboiledchickenbetterthancutlet,MrsVesey?’
MrsVeseytookherdimpledhandsofftheedgeofthetableandcrossedthemonherlapinstead;noddedcontemplativelyattheboiledchicken,andsaid,`Yes,dear。’
`Well,butwhichwillyouhave,today?ShallMrHartrightgiveyousomechicken?orshallIgiveyousomecutlet?’
MrsVeseyputoneofherdimpledhandsbackagainontheedgeofthetable;hesitateddrowsily,andsaid,`Whichyouplease,dear。’
`Mercyonme!it’saquestionforyourtaste,mygoodlady,notformine。Supposeyouhavealittleofboth?andsupposeyoubeginwiththechicken,becauseMrHartrightlooksdevouredbyanxietytocarveforyou。’
MrsVeseyputtheotherdimpledhandbackontheedgeofthetable;
brighteneddimlyonemoment;wentoutagainthenext;bowedobediently,andsaid,`Ifyouplease,sir。’
Surelyamild,acompliant,anunutterablytranquilandharmlessoldlady!Butenough,perhaps,forthepresent,ofMrsVesey。
Allthistime,therewerenosignsofMissFairlie。Wefinishedourluncheon;andstillsheneverappeared。MissHalcombe,whosequickeyenothingescaped,noticedthelooksthatIcast,fromtimetotime,inthedirectionofthedoor。
`Iunderstandyou,MrHartright,’shesaid;`youarewonderingwhathasbecomeofyourotherpupil。Shehasbeendownstairs,andhasgotoverherheadache;buthasnotsufficientlyrecoveredherappetitetojoinusatlunch。Ifyouwillputyourselfundermycharge,IthinkIcanundertaketofindhersomewhereinthegarden。’
Shetookupaparasollyingonachairnearher,andledthewayout,byalongwindowatthebottomoftheroom,whichopenedontothelawn。
ItisalmostunnecessarytosaythatweleftMrsVeseystillseatedatthetable,withherdimpledhandsstillcrossedontheedgeofit;apparentlysettledinthatpositionfortherestoftheafternoon。
Aswecrossedthelawn,MissHalcombelookedatmesignificantly,andshookherhead。
`Thatmysteriousadventureofyours,’shesaid,`stillremainsinvolvedinitsownappropriatemidnightdarkness。Ihavebeenallthemorninglookingovermymother’sletters,andIhavemadenodiscoveriesyet。However,don’tdespair,MrHartright。Thisisamatterofcuriosity;andyouhavegotawomanforyourally。Undersuchconditionssuccessiscertain,soonerorlater。Thelettersarenotexhausted。Ihavethreepacketsstillleft,andyoumayconfidentlyrelyonmyspendingthewholeeveningoverthem。’
Here,then,wasoneofmyanticipationsofthemorningstillunfulfilled。
Ibegantowonder,next,whethermyintroductiontoMissFairliewoulddisappointtheexpectationsthatIhadbeenformingofhersincebreakfast-time。
`AndhowdidyougetonwithMrFairlie?’inquiredMissHalcombe,asweleftthelawnandturnedintoashrubbery。`Washeparticularlynervousthismorning?Nevermindconsideringaboutyouranswer,MrHartright。Themerefactofyourbeingobligedtoconsiderisenoughforme。Iseeinyourfacethathewasparticularlynervous;and,asIamamiablyunwillingtothrowyouintothesamecondition,Iasknomore。’
Weturnedoffintoawindingpathwhileshewasspeaking,andapproachedaprettysummer-house,builtofwood,intheformofaminiatureSwisschalet。Theoneroomofthesummerhouse,asweascendedthestepsofthedoor,wasoccupiedbyayounglady。Shewasstandingneararustictable,lookingoutattheinlandviewofmoorandhillpresentedbyagapinthetrees,andabsentlyturningovertheleavesofalittlesketch-bookthatlayatherside。ThiswasMissFairlie。
HowcanIdescribeher?HowcanIseparateherfrommyownsensations,andfromallthathashappenedinthelatertime?HowcanIseeheragainasshelookedwhenmyeyesfirstrestedonher——assheshouldlook,now,totheeyesthatareabouttoseeherinthesepages?
Thewater-colourdrawingthatImadeofLauraFairlie,atanafterperiod,intheplaceandattitudeinwhichIfirstsawher,liesonmydeskwhileIwrite。Ilookatit,andtheredawnsuponmebrightly,fromthedarkgreenish-brownbackgroundofthesummer-house,alight,youthfulfigure,clothedinasimplemuslindress,thepatternofitformedbybroadalternatestripesofdelicateblueandwhite。Ascarfofthesamematerialsitscrisplyandcloselyroundhershoulders,andalittlestrawhatofthenaturalcolour,plainlyandsparinglytrimmedwithribbontomatchthegown,coversherhead,andthrowsitssoftpearlyshadowovertheupperpartofherface。Herhairisofsofaintandpaleabrown——notflaxen,andyetalmostaslight;notgolden,andyetalmostasglossy——thatitnearlymelts,hereandthere,intotheshadowofthehat。Itisplainlypartedanddrawnbackoverherears,andthelineofitripplesnaturallyasitcrossesherforehead。Theeyebrowsareratherdarkerthanthehair;andtheeyesareofthatsoft,limpid,turquoiseblue,sooftensungbythepoets,soseldomseeninreallife。Lovelyeyesincolour,lovelyeyesinform——
largeandtenderandquietlythoughtful——butbeautifulaboveallthingsinthecleartruthfulnessoflookthatdwellsintheirinmostdepths,andshinesthroughalltheirchangesofexpressionwiththelightofapurerandabetterworld。Thecharm——mostgentlyandyetmostdistinctlyexpressed——whichtheyshedoverthewholeface,socoversandtransformsitslittlenaturalhumanblemisheselsewhere,thatitisdifficulttoestimatetherelativemeritsanddefectsoftheotherfeatures。Itishardtoseethatthelowerpartofthefaceistoodelicatelyrefinedawaytowardsthechintobeinfullandfairproportionwiththeupperpart;thatthenose,inescapingtheaquilinebendalwayshardandcruelinawoman,nomatterhowabstractedlyperfectitmaybe,haserredalittleintheotherextreme,andhasmissedtheidealstraightnessofline;andthatthesweet,sensitivelipsaresubjecttoaslightnervouscontraction,whenshesmiles,whichdrawsthemupwardalittleatonecorner,towardsthecheek。Itmightbepossibletonotetheseblemishesinanotherwoman’sface,butitisnoteasytodwellontheminhers,sosubtlyaretheyconnectedwithallthatisindividualandcharacteristicinherexpression,andsocloselydoestheexpressiondependforitsfullplayandlife,ineveryotherfeature,onthemovingimpulseoftheeyes。
Doesmypoorportraitofher,myfond,patientlabouroflongandhappydays,showmethesethings?Ah,howfewofthemareinthedimmechanicaldrawing,andhowmanyinthemindwithwhichIregardit!Afair,delicategirl,inaprettylightdress,triflingwiththeleavesofasketch-book,whileshelooksupfromitwithtruthful,innocentblueeyes——thatisallthedrawingcansay;all,perhaps,thateventhedeeperreachofthoughtandpencansayintheirlanguage,either。Thewomanwhofirstgiveslife,light,andformtoourshadowyconceptionsofbeauty,fillsavoidinourspiritualnaturethathasremainedunknowntoustillsheappeared。Sympathiesthatlietoodeepforwords,toodeepalmostforthoughts,aretouched,atsuchtimes,byothercharmsthanthosewhichthesensesfeelandwhichtheresourcesofexpressioncanrealise。Themysterywhichunderliesthebeautyofwomenisneverraisedabovethereachofallexpressionuntilithasclaimedkindredwiththedeepermysteryinourownsouls。Then,andthenonly,hasitpassedbeyondthenarrowregiononwhichlightfalls,inthisworld,fromthepencilandthepen。
Thinkofherasyouthoughtofthefirstwomanwhoquickenedthepulseswithinyouthattherestofhersexhadnoarttostir。Letthekind,candidblueeyesmeetyours,astheymetmine,withtheonematchlesslookwhichwebothremembersowell。Lethervoicespeakthemusicthatyouoncelovedbest,attunedassweetlytoyourearastomine。Letherfootstep,asshecomesandgoes,inthesepages,belikethatotherfootsteptowhoseairyfallyourownheartoncebeattime。Takeherasthevisionarynurslingofyourownfancy;andshewillgrowuponyou,allthemoreclearly,asthelivingwomanwhodwellsinmine。
Amongthesensationsthatcrowdedonme,whenmyeyesfirstlookeduponher——familiarsensationswhichweallknow,whichspringtolifeinmostofourhearts,dieagaininsomany,andrenewtheirbrightexistenceinsofew——therewasonethattroubledandperplexedme:onethatseemedstrangelyinconsistentandunaccountablyoutofplaceinMissFairlie’spresence。
Minglingwiththevividimpressionproducedbythecharmofherfairfaceandhead,hersweetexpression,andherwinningsimplicityofmanner,wasanotherimpression,which,inashadowyway,suggestedtometheideaofsomethingwanting。Atonetimeitseemedlikesomethingwantinginher:atanother,likesomethingwantinginmyself,whichhinderedmefromunderstandingherasIought。Theimpressionwasalwaysstrongestinthemostcontradictorymanner,whenshelookedatme;or,inotherwords,whenIwasmostconsciousoftheharmonyandcharmofherface,andyet,atthesametime,mosttroubledbythesenseofanincompletenesswhichitwasimpossibletodiscover。Somethingwanting,somethingwanting——andwhereitwas,andwhatitwas,Icouldnotsay。