DeucedcleverwomanthatAyahofyoursStoppedthepunkabjustattherighttimeAdashedgoodchance！No-youdon’tgoin。
　　We’llpullherthroughyetIpromiseonmyreputation-underProvidenceSendamanwiththisnotetoBingleTwoheadsbetterthanone’SpeciallytheAyah！We’llpullherround。
　　Retreatshastilytohouse。
　　CAPTGHisheadonneckofM。’scharger。Jack！Ibub-bu-
　　believe，I’mgoingtomakeabu-bub-bloodyexhibitiodofbyself。
　　CAPTMSniffingopenlyandfeelmginhisleftcuff。I
　　b-b-believe，I’bdoingitalreadyOldbad，whatcadIsay？I’baspleasedas-Coddabyou，Gaddy！You’reonebigidiotandI’badotherPullinghimselftogether。Sittight！HerecomestheDevil-dodger。
　　JUNIORCHAPLAINWhoisnotintheDoctor’sconfidence。
　　We-weareonlymeninthesethings，GadsbyIknowthatIcansaynothingnowtohelpCAPTMfealously。Thendon’tsayitLeavehimaloneIt’snotbadenoughtocroakoverHere，Gaddy，takethechittoBingleandridehell-for-leatherIt’lldoyougoodIcan’tgo。
　　JUNIORCHAPLAINDohimgood！Smiling。GivemethechitandI’lldriveLethimliedownYourhorseisblockingmycart-please！
　　CAPTMSlowlywithoutreiningback。Ibegyourpardon-I’llapologizeOnpaperifyoulike。
　　JUNIORCHAPLAINFlickingM。’scharger。That’lldo，thanks。
　　Turnin，Gadsby，andI’llbringBingleback-ahem-“hell-for-
　　leather。”
　　CAPTMSolus。Itwouldhaveservedmerightifhe’dcutmeacrossthefaceHecandrivetooIshouldn’tcaretogothatpaceinabamboocartWhatafaithhemusthaveinhisMaker-ofharness！
　　Comehup，youbrute！Gallopsofftoparade，blowinghisnose，asthesunrises。
　　INTERVALOF’FIVEWEEKS。
　　MRSGVerywhiteandpinched，inmorningwrapperatbreakfasttable。Howbigandstrangetheroomlooks，andhowgladIamtoseeitagain！Whatdust，though！Imusttalktotheservants。
　　Sugar，Pip？I’vealmostforgottenSeriously。Wasn’tIveryill？
　　CAPTGIllerthanIlikedTenderly。Oh，youbadlittlePussy，whatastartyougaveme’
　　MRSGI’llneverdoitagain。
　　CAPTGYou’dbetternotAndnowgetthosepoorpalecheekspinkagain，orIshallbeangryDon’ttrytolifttheurnYou’llupsetitWaitComesroundtoheadoftableandliftsurn。
　　MasGQuickly。Khitmatgar，howarchikhanaseekettlylao。
　　Butler，getakettlefromthecook-houseDrawingdownG。’sfacetoherown。Pipdear，Iremember。
　　CAPTGWhat？
　　MasGThatlastterriblenight。
　　CAPT’GThenjustyouforgetallaboutit。
　　MasGSoftly，hereyesfilling。NeverIthasbroughtusveryclosetogether，myhusbandThere！Interlude。I’mgoingtogiveJundaasaree。
　　CAPTGIgaveherfiftydibs。
　　MasGSoshetoldmeItwasa’normousrewardWasIworthit？Severalinterludes。Don’t！Here’sthekhitmatgar-TwolumpsoroneSir？
　　THESWELLINGOFJORDAN
　　Ifthouhastrunwiththefootmenandtheyhaveweariedthee，thenhowcanstthoucontendwithhorses？Andifinthelandofpeacewhereinthoutrustedsttheyweariedthee，thenhowwiltthoudointheswellingofJordan？
　　SCENE-TheGADSBYS’bungalowinthePlains，onaJanuarymorningMasGarguingwithbearerinbackveranda。
　　CAPTMridesup。
　　CAPTM’Mornin’，MrsGadsbyHow’stheInfantPhenomenonandtheProudProprietor？
　　MasGYou’llfindtheminthefrontveranda；gothroughthehouseI’mMarthajustnow。
　　CAPTM，’CumberedaboutwithcaresofKhitmatgars？Ifly。
　　Passesintofrontveranda，whereGADSBViswatchingGADSBY
　　JUNIOR，agedtenmonths，crawlingaboutthematting。
　　CAPTMWhat’sthetrouble，Gaddy-spoilinganhonestman’sEuropemorningthisway？SeeingGJUNIOR。ByJove，thatyearling’scomm’onamaxingly！Anyamountofbonebelowthekneethere。
　　CAPTGYes，he’sahealthylittlescoundrelDon’tyouthinkhishair’sgrowing？
　　CAPTMLet’shavealookHi！HstComehere，GeneralLuck，andwe’llreportonyou。
　　MRSGWithin。Whatabsurdnamewillyougivehimnext？
　　Whydoyoucallhimthat？
　　CAPTMIsn’theourInspector-GeneralofCavalry？Doesn’thecomedowninhisseventeen-twoperambulatoreverymorningthePinkHussarsparade？Don’twriggle，BrigadierGiveusyourprivateopiniononthewaythethirdsquadronwentpast’Trifleragged，werentthey？
　　CAPTGAbiggersetoftailorsthanthenewdraftIdon’twishtoseeThey’vegivenmemorethanmyfairshare-knockingthesquadronoutofshapeIt’ssickening！
　　CAPTMWhenyou’reincommand，you’lldobetter，young’un。
　　Can’tyouwalkyet？GripmyfingerandtryToG。’Twon’thurthishocks，willit？
　　CAPTGOh，noDon’tlethimflop，though，orhe’lllickalltheblackingoffyourboots。
　　MRSGWithin。Who’sdestroymgmyson’scharacter？
　　CAPTMAndmyGodson’sI’mashamedofyou，GaddyPunchyourfatherintheeye，Jack！Don’tyoustandit！HithimagainI
　　CAPTGSottovoce。PutTheButchadownandcometotheendoftheverandaI’drathertheWifedidn’thear-justnow。
　　CAPTMYoulookawf’lyseriousAnythingwrong？
　　CAPTG’DependsonyourviewentirelyIsay，Jack，youwon’tthinkmorehardlyofmethanyoucanhelp，willyou？Comefurtherthisway-Thefactofthematteris，thatI’vemadeupmymind-atleastI’mthinkingseriouslyof-cuttingtheService。
　　CAPTMHwhatt？
　　CAPTGDon’tshoutI’mgoingtosendinmypapers。
　　CAPTMYou！Areyoumad？
　　CAPTGNo-onlymarried。
　　CAPTMLookhere！What’sthemeaningofitall？YouneverintendtoleaveusYoucan’tIsn’tthebestsquadronofthebestregimentofthebestcavalryinalltheworldgoodenoughforyou？
　　CAPTGJerkinghisheadoverhisshoulder。Shedoesn’tseemtothriveinthisGod-forsakencountry，andthere’sTheButchatobeconsideredandallthat，youknow。
　　CAPTMDoesshesaythatshedoesn’tlikeIndia？
　　CAPTGThat’stheworstofitShewon’tforfearofleavingme。
　　CAPTMWhataretheHillsmadefor？
　　CAPTGNotformywife，atanyrate。
　　CAPTMYouknowtoomuch，Gaddy，and-Idon’tlikeyouanythebetterforit！
　　CAPTGNevermindthatShewantsEngland，andTheButchawouldbeallthebetterforitI’mgoingtochuckYoudon’tunderstand。
　　CAPTMHotly。IunderstandthisOnehundredandthirty-sevennewhorsetobelickedintoshapesomehowbeforeLuckcomesroundagain；ahairy-heeleddraftwho’llgivemoretroublethanthehorses；acampnextcoldweatherforacertainty；
　　ourselvesthefirstontheroster；theRussianshindyreadytocometoaheadatfiveminutes’notice，andyou，thebestofusall，backingoutofitall！Thinkalittle，GaddyYouwon’tdoit。
　　CAPTGHangit，amanhassomedutiestowardhisfamily，I
　　suppose。
　　CAPTMIrememberaman，though，whotoldme，thenightafterAmdheran，whenwewerepicketedunderJagai，andhe’dlefthissword-bytheway，didyoueverpayRankenforthatsword？-inanUtmanzai’shead-thatmantoldmethathe’dstickbymeandthePinksaslongashelivedIdon’tblamehimfornotstickingbyme-I’mnotmuchofaman-butIdoblamehimfornotstickingbythePinkHussars。
　　CAPTGUneasily。WewerelittlemorethanboysthenCan’tyousee，Jack，howthingsstand？’Tisn’tasifwewereservingforourbreadWe’veallofus，moreorless，gotthefilthylucreI’mluckierthansome，perhapsThere’snocallformetoserveon。
　　CAPTMNoneintheworldforyouorforus，excepttheRegimentalIfyoudon’tchoosetoanswertothat，ofcourse-
　　CAPTGDon’tbetoohardonamanYouknowthatalotofusonlytakeupthethingforafewyearsandthengobacktoTownandcatchonwiththerest。
　　CAPTMNotlots，andtheyaren’tsomeofUs。
　　CAPTGAndthenthereareone’saffairsatHometobeconsidered-myplaceandtherents，andallthatIdon’tsupposemyfathercanlastmuchlonger，andthatmeansthetitle，andsoon。
　　CAPTM’Fraidyouwon’tbeenteredintheStudBookcorrectlyunlessyougoHome？Takesixmonths，then，andcomeoutinOctoberIfIcouldslayoffabrotherortwo，Is’poseIshouldbeaMarquisofsortsAnyfoolcanbethat；butitneedsmen，Gaddy-
　　menlikeyou-toleadflankingsquadronsproperlyDon’tyoudeludeyourselfintothebeliefthatyou’regoingHometotakeyourplaceandpranceaboutamongpink-nosedKabulidowagersYouaren’tbuiltthatwayIknowbetter。
　　CAPTGAmanhasarighttolivehislifeashappilyashecan。
　　Youaren’tmarried。
　　CAPTMNo-praisebetoProvidenceandtheoneortwowomenwhohavehadthegoodsensetojawabme。
　　CAPTGThenyoudon’tknowwhatitistogointoyourownroomandseeyourwife’sheadonthepillow，andwheneverythingelseissafeandthehouseshutupforthenight，towonderwhethertheroof-beamswon’tgiveandkillher。
　　CAPTMAside。Revelationsfirstandsecond！Aloud。So-o！
　　IknewamanwhogotsquiffyatourMessonceandconfidedtomethatheneverhelpedhiswifeontoherhorsewithoutpraymgthatshe’dbreakherneckbeforeshecamebackAllhusbandsaren’talike，yousee。
　　CAPTGWhatonearthhasthattodowithmycase？Themanmustha’beenmad，orhiswifeasbadastheymake’em。
　　CAPTMAside。’Nofaultofyoursifeitherweren’tallyousay。
　　You’veforgottenthetimewhenyouwereinsaneabouttheHerriottwomanYoualwayswereagoodhandatforgettingAloud。NotmoremadthanmenwhogototheotherextremeBereasonable，GaddyYourroof-beamsaresoundenough。
　　CAPTGThatwasonlyawayofspeakingI’vebeenuneasyandworriedabouttheWifeeversincethatawfulbusinessthreeyearsago-when-InearlylostherCanyouwonder？
　　CAPTMOh，ashellneverfallstwiceinthesameplaceYou’vepaidyourtolltomisfortune-whyshouldyourWifebepickedoutmorethananybodyelse’s？
　　CAPTGIcantalkjustasreasonablyasyoucan，butyoudon’tunderstand-youdon’tunderstandAndthenthere’sTheButcha。
　　DeuceknowswheretheAyahtakeshimtositintheevening！HehasabitofacoughHaven’tyounoticedit？
　　CAPTMBosh！TheBrigadier’sjumpingoutofhisskinwithpureconditionHe’sgotamuzzlelikearose-leafandthechestofatwo-year-oldWhat’sdemoralizedyou？
　　CAPTGFunkThat’sthelongandtheshortofitFunk！
　　CAPTMButwhatistheretofunk？
　　CAPTGEverythingIt’sghastly。
　　CAPTMAh！Isee。
　　Youdon’twanttofight，AndbyJingowhenwedo，You’vegotthekid，you’vegottheWife，You’vegotthemoney，too。
　　That’saboutthecase，eh？
　　CAPTGIsupposethat’sitButit’snotbrmyselfIt’sbecauseofthemAtleastIthinkitis。
　　CAPTMAreyousure？Lookingatthematterinacold-bloodedlight，theWifeisprovidedforevenifyouwerewipedouttonight。
　　Shehasanancestralhometogoto，moneyandtheBrigadiertocarryontheillustriousname。
　　CAPTGThenitisformyselforbecausetheyarepartofmeYoudon’tseeitMylife’ssogood，sopleasant，asitis，thatIwanttomakeitquitesafeCan’tyouunderstand？