DeucedcleverwomanthatAyahofyoursStoppedthepunkabjustattherighttimeAdashedgoodchance!No-youdon’tgoin。
  We’llpullherthroughyetIpromiseonmyreputation-underProvidenceSendamanwiththisnotetoBingleTwoheadsbetterthanone’SpeciallytheAyah!We’llpullherround。
  Retreatshastilytohouse。
  CAPTGHisheadonneckofM。’scharger。Jack!Ibub-bu-
  believe,I’mgoingtomakeabu-bub-bloodyexhibitiodofbyself。
  CAPTMSniffingopenlyandfeelmginhisleftcuff。I
  b-b-believe,I’bdoingitalreadyOldbad,whatcadIsay?I’baspleasedas-Coddabyou,Gaddy!You’reonebigidiotandI’badotherPullinghimselftogether。Sittight!HerecomestheDevil-dodger。
  JUNIORCHAPLAINWhoisnotintheDoctor’sconfidence。
  We-weareonlymeninthesethings,GadsbyIknowthatIcansaynothingnowtohelpCAPTMfealously。Thendon’tsayitLeavehimaloneIt’snotbadenoughtocroakoverHere,Gaddy,takethechittoBingleandridehell-for-leatherIt’lldoyougoodIcan’tgo。
  JUNIORCHAPLAINDohimgood!Smiling。GivemethechitandI’lldriveLethimliedownYourhorseisblockingmycart-please!
  CAPTMSlowlywithoutreiningback。Ibegyourpardon-I’llapologizeOnpaperifyoulike。
  JUNIORCHAPLAINFlickingM。’scharger。That’lldo,thanks。
  Turnin,Gadsby,andI’llbringBingleback-ahem-“hell-for-
  leather。”
  CAPTMSolus。Itwouldhaveservedmerightifhe’dcutmeacrossthefaceHecandrivetooIshouldn’tcaretogothatpaceinabamboocartWhatafaithhemusthaveinhisMaker-ofharness!
  Comehup,youbrute!Gallopsofftoparade,blowinghisnose,asthesunrises。
  INTERVALOF’FIVEWEEKS。
  MRSGVerywhiteandpinched,inmorningwrapperatbreakfasttable。Howbigandstrangetheroomlooks,andhowgladIamtoseeitagain!Whatdust,though!Imusttalktotheservants。
  Sugar,Pip?I’vealmostforgottenSeriously。Wasn’tIveryill?
  CAPTGIllerthanIlikedTenderly。Oh,youbadlittlePussy,whatastartyougaveme’
  MRSGI’llneverdoitagain。
  CAPTGYou’dbetternotAndnowgetthosepoorpalecheekspinkagain,orIshallbeangryDon’ttrytolifttheurnYou’llupsetitWaitComesroundtoheadoftableandliftsurn。
  MasGQuickly。Khitmatgar,howarchikhanaseekettlylao。
  Butler,getakettlefromthecook-houseDrawingdownG。’sfacetoherown。Pipdear,Iremember。
  CAPTGWhat?
  MasGThatlastterriblenight。
  CAPT’GThenjustyouforgetallaboutit。
  MasGSoftly,hereyesfilling。NeverIthasbroughtusveryclosetogether,myhusbandThere!Interlude。I’mgoingtogiveJundaasaree。
  CAPTGIgaveherfiftydibs。
  MasGSoshetoldmeItwasa’normousrewardWasIworthit?Severalinterludes。Don’t!Here’sthekhitmatgar-TwolumpsoroneSir?
  THESWELLINGOFJORDAN
  Ifthouhastrunwiththefootmenandtheyhaveweariedthee,thenhowcanstthoucontendwithhorses?Andifinthelandofpeacewhereinthoutrustedsttheyweariedthee,thenhowwiltthoudointheswellingofJordan?
  SCENE-TheGADSBYS’bungalowinthePlains,onaJanuarymorningMasGarguingwithbearerinbackveranda。
  CAPTMridesup。
  CAPTM’Mornin’,MrsGadsbyHow’stheInfantPhenomenonandtheProudProprietor?
  MasGYou’llfindtheminthefrontveranda;gothroughthehouseI’mMarthajustnow。
  CAPTM,’CumberedaboutwithcaresofKhitmatgars?Ifly。
  Passesintofrontveranda,whereGADSBViswatchingGADSBY
  JUNIOR,agedtenmonths,crawlingaboutthematting。
  CAPTMWhat’sthetrouble,Gaddy-spoilinganhonestman’sEuropemorningthisway?SeeingGJUNIOR。ByJove,thatyearling’scomm’onamaxingly!Anyamountofbonebelowthekneethere。
  CAPTGYes,he’sahealthylittlescoundrelDon’tyouthinkhishair’sgrowing?
  CAPTMLet’shavealookHi!HstComehere,GeneralLuck,andwe’llreportonyou。
  MRSGWithin。Whatabsurdnamewillyougivehimnext?
  Whydoyoucallhimthat?
  CAPTMIsn’theourInspector-GeneralofCavalry?Doesn’thecomedowninhisseventeen-twoperambulatoreverymorningthePinkHussarsparade?Don’twriggle,BrigadierGiveusyourprivateopiniononthewaythethirdsquadronwentpast’Trifleragged,werentthey?
  CAPTGAbiggersetoftailorsthanthenewdraftIdon’twishtoseeThey’vegivenmemorethanmyfairshare-knockingthesquadronoutofshapeIt’ssickening!
  CAPTMWhenyou’reincommand,you’lldobetter,young’un。
  Can’tyouwalkyet?GripmyfingerandtryToG。’Twon’thurthishocks,willit?
  CAPTGOh,noDon’tlethimflop,though,orhe’lllickalltheblackingoffyourboots。
  MRSGWithin。Who’sdestroymgmyson’scharacter?
  CAPTMAndmyGodson’sI’mashamedofyou,GaddyPunchyourfatherintheeye,Jack!Don’tyoustandit!HithimagainI
  CAPTGSottovoce。PutTheButchadownandcometotheendoftheverandaI’drathertheWifedidn’thear-justnow。
  CAPTMYoulookawf’lyseriousAnythingwrong?
  CAPTG’DependsonyourviewentirelyIsay,Jack,youwon’tthinkmorehardlyofmethanyoucanhelp,willyou?Comefurtherthisway-Thefactofthematteris,thatI’vemadeupmymind-atleastI’mthinkingseriouslyof-cuttingtheService。
  CAPTMHwhatt?
  CAPTGDon’tshoutI’mgoingtosendinmypapers。
  CAPTMYou!Areyoumad?
  CAPTGNo-onlymarried。
  CAPTMLookhere!What’sthemeaningofitall?YouneverintendtoleaveusYoucan’tIsn’tthebestsquadronofthebestregimentofthebestcavalryinalltheworldgoodenoughforyou?
  CAPTGJerkinghisheadoverhisshoulder。Shedoesn’tseemtothriveinthisGod-forsakencountry,andthere’sTheButchatobeconsideredandallthat,youknow。
  CAPTMDoesshesaythatshedoesn’tlikeIndia?
  CAPTGThat’stheworstofitShewon’tforfearofleavingme。
  CAPTMWhataretheHillsmadefor?
  CAPTGNotformywife,atanyrate。
  CAPTMYouknowtoomuch,Gaddy,and-Idon’tlikeyouanythebetterforit!
  CAPTGNevermindthatShewantsEngland,andTheButchawouldbeallthebetterforitI’mgoingtochuckYoudon’tunderstand。
  CAPTMHotly。IunderstandthisOnehundredandthirty-sevennewhorsetobelickedintoshapesomehowbeforeLuckcomesroundagain;ahairy-heeleddraftwho’llgivemoretroublethanthehorses;acampnextcoldweatherforacertainty;
  ourselvesthefirstontheroster;theRussianshindyreadytocometoaheadatfiveminutes’notice,andyou,thebestofusall,backingoutofitall!Thinkalittle,GaddyYouwon’tdoit。
  CAPTGHangit,amanhassomedutiestowardhisfamily,I
  suppose。
  CAPTMIrememberaman,though,whotoldme,thenightafterAmdheran,whenwewerepicketedunderJagai,andhe’dlefthissword-bytheway,didyoueverpayRankenforthatsword?-inanUtmanzai’shead-thatmantoldmethathe’dstickbymeandthePinksaslongashelivedIdon’tblamehimfornotstickingbyme-I’mnotmuchofaman-butIdoblamehimfornotstickingbythePinkHussars。
  CAPTGUneasily。WewerelittlemorethanboysthenCan’tyousee,Jack,howthingsstand?’Tisn’tasifwewereservingforourbreadWe’veallofus,moreorless,gotthefilthylucreI’mluckierthansome,perhapsThere’snocallformetoserveon。
  CAPTMNoneintheworldforyouorforus,excepttheRegimentalIfyoudon’tchoosetoanswertothat,ofcourse-
  CAPTGDon’tbetoohardonamanYouknowthatalotofusonlytakeupthethingforafewyearsandthengobacktoTownandcatchonwiththerest。
  CAPTMNotlots,andtheyaren’tsomeofUs。
  CAPTGAndthenthereareone’saffairsatHometobeconsidered-myplaceandtherents,andallthatIdon’tsupposemyfathercanlastmuchlonger,andthatmeansthetitle,andsoon。
  CAPTM’Fraidyouwon’tbeenteredintheStudBookcorrectlyunlessyougoHome?Takesixmonths,then,andcomeoutinOctoberIfIcouldslayoffabrotherortwo,Is’poseIshouldbeaMarquisofsortsAnyfoolcanbethat;butitneedsmen,Gaddy-
  menlikeyou-toleadflankingsquadronsproperlyDon’tyoudeludeyourselfintothebeliefthatyou’regoingHometotakeyourplaceandpranceaboutamongpink-nosedKabulidowagersYouaren’tbuiltthatwayIknowbetter。
  CAPTGAmanhasarighttolivehislifeashappilyashecan。
  Youaren’tmarried。
  CAPTMNo-praisebetoProvidenceandtheoneortwowomenwhohavehadthegoodsensetojawabme。
  CAPTGThenyoudon’tknowwhatitistogointoyourownroomandseeyourwife’sheadonthepillow,andwheneverythingelseissafeandthehouseshutupforthenight,towonderwhethertheroof-beamswon’tgiveandkillher。
  CAPTMAside。Revelationsfirstandsecond!Aloud。So-o!
  IknewamanwhogotsquiffyatourMessonceandconfidedtomethatheneverhelpedhiswifeontoherhorsewithoutpraymgthatshe’dbreakherneckbeforeshecamebackAllhusbandsaren’talike,yousee。
  CAPTGWhatonearthhasthattodowithmycase?Themanmustha’beenmad,orhiswifeasbadastheymake’em。
  CAPTMAside。’Nofaultofyoursifeitherweren’tallyousay。
  You’veforgottenthetimewhenyouwereinsaneabouttheHerriottwomanYoualwayswereagoodhandatforgettingAloud。NotmoremadthanmenwhogototheotherextremeBereasonable,GaddyYourroof-beamsaresoundenough。
  CAPTGThatwasonlyawayofspeakingI’vebeenuneasyandworriedabouttheWifeeversincethatawfulbusinessthreeyearsago-when-InearlylostherCanyouwonder?
  CAPTMOh,ashellneverfallstwiceinthesameplaceYou’vepaidyourtolltomisfortune-whyshouldyourWifebepickedoutmorethananybodyelse’s?
  CAPTGIcantalkjustasreasonablyasyoucan,butyoudon’tunderstand-youdon’tunderstandAndthenthere’sTheButcha。
  DeuceknowswheretheAyahtakeshimtositintheevening!HehasabitofacoughHaven’tyounoticedit?
  CAPTMBosh!TheBrigadier’sjumpingoutofhisskinwithpureconditionHe’sgotamuzzlelikearose-leafandthechestofatwo-year-oldWhat’sdemoralizedyou?
  CAPTGFunkThat’sthelongandtheshortofitFunk!
  CAPTMButwhatistheretofunk?
  CAPTGEverythingIt’sghastly。
  CAPTMAh!Isee。
  Youdon’twanttofight,AndbyJingowhenwedo,You’vegotthekid,you’vegottheWife,You’vegotthemoney,too。
  That’saboutthecase,eh?
  CAPTGIsupposethat’sitButit’snotbrmyselfIt’sbecauseofthemAtleastIthinkitis。
  CAPTMAreyousure?Lookingatthematterinacold-bloodedlight,theWifeisprovidedforevenifyouwerewipedouttonight。
  Shehasanancestralhometogoto,moneyandtheBrigadiertocarryontheillustriousname。
  CAPTGThenitisformyselforbecausetheyarepartofmeYoudon’tseeitMylife’ssogood,sopleasant,asitis,thatIwanttomakeitquitesafeCan’tyouunderstand?