I’msosorryHowveryunfortunate！”。
ButMrsMallowehadpass~don。
“Forthepracticedequivocatoryousaidhewas。”murmuredMrs。
Hauksbee，“hestrikesmeasafailureNowwhereforeshouldhehavepreferredawalkwithTheDowdtoteawithus？Electiveaffinities，Isuppos~bothgrubbyPolly，I’dneverforgivethatwomanaslongastheworldrolls。”
“Iforgiveeverywomaneve“ything。”
saidMrsMallowe“Hewillbeasufficientpunishmentforher。
Whatacommonvoiceshehas！”
MrsDelville’svoicewasnotpretty，hercarriagewasevenlesslovely，andherraimentwasstrikinglyneglectedAllthesethingsMrsMallowenoticedoverthetopofamagazine。
“Nowwhatisthereinher？”saidMrsHauksbee“DoyouseewhatImeantabouttheclothesfallingoff？IfIwereamanIwouldperishsoonerthanbeseenwiththatrag-bagAndyet，shehasgoodeyes，but~h！”
“Whatisit？”
“Shedoesn’tknowhowtousethem！OnmyHonor，shedoesnot。
Look！Ohlook！UntidinessI
canendure，butignor~1cenever！Thewoman’safool。”
“Hsh！She’llhearyou。”
“AllthewomeninSimlaarefoolsShe’llthinkImeansomeoneelseNowshe’sgoingo~tWhatathoroughlyobjectionablecouplesheandTheDancingMastermake！WhichremindsmeDoyousupposethey’lleverdancetogether？”
“WaitandseeIdon’tenvybertheconversationofTheDancingMaster-loathlyman~Hiswifeoughttobeupherebeforelong。”
“Doyouknowanythingabouthim？”
“OnlywhathetoldmeItmaybea11afictionHemarriedagirlbredinthecountry，Ithink，and，beinganhonorable，chivalroussoul，toldmethatherepentedhisbargainandsenthertohermotherasoftenaspossible’~apersonwhohaslivedintheDoonsincethememoryofmanandgoestoMussooriewhenotherpeoplegoHomeThewifeiswithheratpresentSohesays。”
’Babies？’
“Oneonly，buthetalksofhiswifeinarevoltingwayIhatedhimforitHethoughthewasbeingepigrammaticandbrilliant。”
“ThatisavicepeculiartomenIdislikehimbecauseheisgenerallyinthewakeofsomegirl，disappointingtheEligiblesHewillpersecuteMayHoltnomore，unlessIammuchmistaken。”
“NoIthinkMrsDelvillemayoccupyhisattentionforawhile。”
“Doyousupposesheknowsthatheistheheadofafamily？”
“NotfromhislipsHesworemetoeternalsecrecyWhereforeI
tellyouDon’tyouknowthattypeofman？”
“Notintimately，thankgoodness！Asageneralrule，whenamanbeginstoabusehiswifetome，IfindthattheLordgivesmewherewithtoanswerhimaccordingtohisfolly；andwepartwithacoolnessbetweenusIlaugh。”
“I’mdifferentI’venosenseofhumor。”
“Cultivateit，thenIthasbeenmymainstayformoreyearsthanI
caretothinkaboutA
well-educatedsenseofHumorwillsaveawomanwhenReligion，Training，andHomeinfluencesfail；andwemayallneedsalvationsometimes。”
“DoyousupposethattheDelvillewomanhashumor？”
“HerdressbewraysherHowcanaThingwhowearsasupplementunderherleftarmhaveanynotionofthefitnessofthings-muchlesstheirfolly？IfshediscardsTheDancingMaste~afterhavingonceseenhimdance，Imayrespecther，Otherwise-“Butarewenotbothassumingagreatdealtoomuch，dear？Yousa“thewomanatPeliti’s-halfanhourASECOND-RATEWOMAN
literyousawherwalkingwithTheDancingMaster-anhourlateryoumetherhereattheLibrary。”
“StillwithTheDancingMaster，remember。”
“StillwithTheDancingMaster，Iadmit，butwhyonthestrengthofthatshouldyouimagine“-“I
imaginenothingIhavenoimaginationIamonlyconvincedthatTheDancingMasterisattractedtoTheDowdbecauseheisobjectionableineverywayandsheineveryotherIfIknowthemanasyouhavedescribedhim，heholdshiswifeinslaveryatpresent。”
“Sheistwentyyearsyoungerthanhe。”
“Poorwretch！And，intheend，afterlehasposedandswaggeredandlied-hehasamouthunderthatraggedmoustachesimplymadeforlies-hewillberswardedaccordingtohismerits。”
“Iwonderwhatthosereallyare。”saidMrsMallowe。
ButMrsHauksbee，herfacecloseto’heshelfofthenewbooks，washummingsoftly：“WhatshallhehavewhokilledtheDeer！”Shewasaladyofunfetteredspeech。
Onemonthlater，sheannouncedherintentionofcallinguponMrs。
DelvilleBothMrsHauksbeeandMrsMallowewereinmorningwrappers，andtherewasagreatpeaceintheland。
“IshouldgoasIwas。”saidMrsMallowe“Itwouldbeadelicatecomplimenttoherstyle。”
MrsHauksbeestudiedherselfintheglass。
“Assumingforamomentthatsheeverdarkenedthesedoors，I
shouldputonthisrobe，afteralltheothers，toshowherwhatamorningwrapperoughttobeItmightenlivenherAsitis，Ishallgointhedove-colored-sweetemblemofyouthandinnocence~andshallputonmynewgloves。”
“Ifyoureallyaregoing，dirtytauwouldbetoogood；andyouknowthatdove-colorspotswiththerain。”
“IcarenotImaymakeherenviousAtleastIshalltry，thoughonecannotexpectverymuchfromawomanwhoputsalacetuckerintoherhabit。”
“JustHeavens！Whendidshedothat？”
“Yesterday-ridingwithTheDancingMasterImetthematthebackofJakko，andtherainhadmadethelaceliedownTocompletetheeffect，shewaswearinganuncleanteraiwiththeelasticunderherchinIfeltalmosttoowellcontenttotakethetroubletodespiseher。”
“TheHawleyBoywasridingwithyouWhatdidhethink？”
“Doesaboyevernoticethesethings？ShouldIlikehimifhedid？
Hestaredintherudestway，andjustwhenIthoughthehadseentheelastic，hesaid，’There’ssomethingverytakingaboutthatface。’IrebukedhimonthespotIdon’tapproveofboysbeingtakenbyfaces。”
“OtherthanyourownIshouldn’tbeintheleastsurprisediftheHawleyBoyimmediatelywenttocall。”
“IforbadehimLetherbesatisfiedwithTheDancingMaster，andhiswifewhenshecomesup。
I’mrathercurioustoseeMrsBentandtheDelvillewomantogether。”
MrsHauksbeedepartedand，attheendofanhour，returnedslightlyflushed。
“Thereisnolimittothetreacheryof124
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t’outh！IorderedtheHawleyBoy，as’sevaluedmypatronage，nottocallThefirstpersonI
stumbleover-literallystumbleover-inherpoky，dark，jittledrawing-roomis，ofcourse，theilawleyBoyShekeptuswaitingtenruinutes，andthenemergedasthough~ehadbeentippedoutofthedirtyr。lothesbasketYouknowmyway，dear，whenI
amallputoutIwasSuperior，crrrushinglySuperior！’LiftedmyeyestoHeaven，andhadheardofnothing-’droppedmyeyesonthecarpetand’reallydidn’tknow’-’playedwitamycardcaseand’supposedso。’TheHawleyBoygiggledlikeagirl，andIhadtofreezehimwithscowlsbetweenthesentences。”
“Andshe？”
“Shesatinaheapontheedgeofacouch，andmanagedtoconveytheimpressionthatshewassufferingfromstomach-ache，attheveryleastItwasaHIcoulddonottoaskafterhersymptomsWhenIroseshegruntedjustlikeabuffalointhewater-toolazytomove。”
“Areyoucertain？”-“AmIblind，Polly？Laziness，sheerlaziness，nothingelse-orhergarmentswereonlyconstructedforsittingdowninIstayedforaquarterofanhourtryingtopenetratethegloom，toguesswhathersurroundingswerelike，whileshestuckouthertongue。”
’~Lu~cy！”
“Well-I’llwithdrawthetongue，thoughI’m~ureifshedidn’tdoitwhenIwasintheroom，shedidtheminuteIwasoutsideAtanyrate，shelayinalumpandgruntedAsktheHawleyBoy，dearIbelievethegruntsweremeantforsentencesbutshespokesoindistinctlythatIcan’tsweartoit。”
“Youareincorrigible，simply。”
“Iamnot！Treatmecivilly，givemepeacewithhonor，don’tputtheonlyavailableseatfacingthewindow，andachildmayeatjaminmylapbeforeChurchButIresentbeinggruntedat。
Wouldn’tyou？DoyousupposethatshecommunicatesherviewsonlifeandlovetoTheDancingMasterinasetofmodulated’Grmphs’？”
“YouattachtoomuchimportancetoTheDancingMaster。”
“Hecameaswewent，andTheDowdgrewalmostcordialatthesightofhimHesmiledgreasily，andmovedaboutthatdarkeneddog-kennelinasuspiciouslyfamiliarway。”
“Don’tbeuncharitableAnysinbutthatI’llforgive。”
“ListentothevoiceofHistoryIamonlydescribingwhatIsaw。
Heentered，theheaponthesofarevivedslightly，andtheHawleyBoyandIcameawaytogetherHeisdisillusioned，hutI
feltitmydutytolecturehimseverelyforgoingthereAndthat’sall。”
’~NowforPity’ssakeleavethewretchedcreatureandTheDancingMasteraloneTheyneverdidyouanyharm。”
“Noharm？Todress~sanexample~ndastumbling-blockforhalfSimla，andthentofindthisPersonwhoisdressedbythehandofGod-notthatIwishtodisparageHimforamoment，butyouknowthetikkadhurziewayHeattiresthoseliliesofthefield-thisPersondrawstheeyesofmen-andsomeofthemnicemen？It’salmostenough~omakeonediscardclothingItohItheHawleyBoyso。”
ASECOND-RATEWOMAN
“Andwhatdidthatsweetyouthdo？”
“Turnedshell-pinkandlookedacrossthefarbluehillslikeadistressedcherubAmItalkingwildly，Polly？Letmesaymysay，andIshallbecalmOtherwiseI
maygoabroadanddisturbSimlawithafeworiginalreflectionsExceptingalwaysyourownsweetself，thereisn’tasinglewomaninthelandwhounderstandsmewhenIam-what’stheword？”
“Tete-Fa7~e。”suggestedMrsMallowe。
“Exactly！AndnowletushavetiffinThedemandsofSocie~yare~xhausting，andasMrs。
Delvillesays“-HereMrsHauksbee，tothehorrorofthekhU。motgars，lapsedintoaseriesofgrunts，whileMrsMallowestaredinlazysurprise。
’Godgieusagudeconceitofoorselves，’“saidMrsHauksbee，piously，returningtohernaturalspeech“Now，inanyotherwomanthawouldhavebeenvulgarI
amconsumedwithcuriositytoseeMrsBentIexpectcomplications。”
“Womanofoneidea。”saidMrsMallowe，shortly；“allcomplicationsarea~oldasthehills！I
havelivedthroughornearall~ll-ALL！”
“Andyetdonotunderstandthatmciiandwomenneverbehavetwice~likeIamoldwhowasyoung-ifeverIputmyheadinyourlap，youdear，bigsceptic，youwilllearnthatmypartingisgauz~butnever，noneverhaveIlostmyinterestinmenandwomenPolly，IshallseethisbusinessOuttothebitterend。”
“Iamgoingtosleep。”saidMrsMallowe，calmly“IneverinterferewithmenorwomenunlessI
amcompelled。”
andsheretiredwithdignitytoherownroom。
MrsHauksbee’scuriositywasnotlongleftungratified，forMrs。
BentcameuptoSimlaafe~
daysaftertheconversationfaithfullyreportedabove，andpervadedtheMallbyherhusband’sside。
“Behold！”saidMrsHauksbee，thoughtfullyrubbinghernose。
“Thatisthelastlinkofthechain，ifweomitthehusbandoftheDelville，whoeverhemaybe。
LetmeconsiderTheBentsandtheDelvillesinhabitthesamehotel；andtheDelvilleisdetestedbytheWaddy-doyouknowtheWaddy？-
whoisalmostasbigadowdTheWaddyalsoabominatesthemaleBent，forwhich，ifherothersinsdonotweightooheavily，shewillev~tuallygotoHeaven。”
“Don’tbeirreverent。”saidMrsMallowe“IlikeMrsBent’sface。”
“IamdiscussingtheWaddy。”returnedMrsHauksbee，loftily。
“TheWaddywilltakethefemaleBentapart，atterhavingborrowed-yes！~everythingthatshecan，fromhairpinstobabies’
bottlesSuch，mydear，islifeinahotelTlicWaddywilltellthefemaleBentfactsandfictionsaboutTheDancingMasterandTheDowd。”
“Lucy，Ishouldlikeyoubetterifyouwerenotalwayslookingintopeople’sback-bed-rooms。”
“Aiiybodycanlookintotheirfrontdrawing-rooms；andrememberwhateverIdo，andwhateverI
look，Inevertalk-astheWaddywillLetushopethatTheDancingMaster’sgreasysmileandmannerofthepedagoguewillsoftentheheartofthatcow，hiswifeIfmouthsspeaktruth，Ishouldthinkthat226
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littleMrsBentcouldgetveryangryonoccasion。
“Butwhatreasonhassheforbeingangry？”
“Whatreason！TheDancingMasterinhimselfisareasonHowdoesitgo？’Ifinhislifesometrivialerrorsfall，Lookinhisfaceandyou’llbelievethemall~’I
ampreparedtocreditanyevilofTheDancingMaster，becauseIhatehimsoAndTheDowdissodisgustinglybadlydressed“-“Thatshe，too，iscapableofe~eryiniquity？IalwaysprefertobelievethebestofeverybodyItsavessomuchtrouble。”
“VerygoodIprefertobelievethe“orstItsavesuselessexpenditureofsympathyAndyoumaybequitecertainthattheWaddybelieveswithme。”
MrsMallowesighedandmadenoanswer。
TheconversationwasholdenafterdinnerwhileMrsHauksbeewasdressingforadance。
“Iamtootiredtogo。”pleadedMrsMallowe，andMrsHauksbeeleftherinpeacetilltwointhemorning，whenshewasawareofemphaticknockingatherdoor。
“Don’tbeveryangry，dear。”saidMrsHauksbee“Myidiotofanayahhasgonehome，and，asI
hopetosleepto-night，thereisn’tasoulintheplacetounlaceme。”
“Oh，thisistoobad！”saidMrsMallowesulkily。
“’Can’thelpitI’malone，lorngrass-widow，dear，butIwillnotsleepinmystaysAndsuchnews，too！Oh，dounlaceme，there’sadarling！TheDowd-TheDancingMaster-IandtheHawleyBoy-YouknowtheNortbveranda？”
“HowcanIdoanythingifyouspinroundlikethis？”protestedMrs。
Mallowe，fumblingwiththeknotofthelaces。
“Oh，IforgetImusttellmytalewithouttheaidofyoureyesDoyouknowyou’velovelyeyes，dear？Welltobeginwith，ItooktheHawleyBoytoakalo’
juggak。”
“Didhewantmuchtaking？”
“Lots！Therewasanarrangementofloose-boxesinkanats，andshewasinthenextonetalkingtohim。”
“Which？How？Explain。”
“YouknowwhatImean-TheDow1andTheDancingMasterWecouldheareverywordandwelistenedshamelessly-’speciallytheHawleyBoyPolly，Iquitelovethatwoman！”
“ThisisinterestingThere！NowturnroundWhathappened？”
“OnemomentAh-h！BlessedreliefI’vebeenlookingforwardtotakingthemoffforthelasthalf-hour-whichisominousatmytimeoflifeBut，asIwassaying，welistenedandheardTheDowddrawlworsethaneverShedropsherfinalg’slikeabarmaidorablue-bloodedAide-de-Camp’Lookhe-ere，you’regettin’toofond0’me，’shesaid，andTheDancingMasterowneditwassoinlanguagethatnearlymademei“TheDowdreflectedfoiawhileThenweheardhersay，’Lookhe-ere，MisterBent，whyareyousuchanaw-fulliar？’InearlyexplodedwhileTheDancingMasterdeniedthechargeItseemsthathenevertoldherhewa。”amarriedman。”
“Isaidhewouldn’t。”
’~Andshehadtakenthistoheart，o，~
ASECOND-RATEWOMAN