Yaletooktohimselfaglassoftheoldbrandy，threecheroots，andhisfriend，Martyn；andtheyalllefttheMesstogetherYaleandMartynconferredfortwohoursinYale’squarters；butonlythebull-terrierwhokeepswatchoverYale’sboot-treesknowswhattheysaidAhorse，hoodedandsheetedtohisears，leftYale’sstablesandwastaken，veryunwillingly，intotheCivilLinesYale’sgroomwentwithhimTwomenbrokeintotheRegimentalTheatreandtookseveralpaint-potsandsomelargescenerybrushesThennightfellovertheCantonments，andtherewasanoiseasofahorsekickinghisloose-boxtopiecesinYale’sstablesYalehadabig，old，whiteWalertrap-horse。
　　ThenextdaywasaThursday，andthemen，hearingthatYalewasgoingtoshoottheDrum-Horseintheevening，determinedtogivethebeastaregularregimentalfuneral——afineronethantheywouldhavegiventheColonelhadhediedjustthenTheygotabullock-cartandsomesacking，andmoundsandmoundsofroses，andthebody，undersacking，wascarriedouttotheplacewheretheanthraxcaseswerecremated；two-thirdsoftheRegimentfollowedTherewasnoBand，buttheyallsang“ThePlacewheretheoldHorsedied“assomethingrespectfulandappropriatetotheoccasionWhenthecorpsewasdumpedintothegraveandthemenbeganthrowingdownarmfulsofrosestocoverit，theFarrier-Sergeantrippedoutanoathandsaidaloud：——“Why，itain’ttheDrum-Horseanymorethanit’sme！”TheTroop-Sergeant-MajorsaskedhimwhetherhehadlefthisheadintheCanteenTheFarrier-SergeantsaidthatheknewtheDrum-Horse’sfeetaswellasheknewhisown；buthewassilencedwhenhesawtheregimentalnumberburntinonthepoorstiff，upturnednear-fore。
　　ThuswastheDrum-HorseoftheWhiteHussarsburied；theFarrier-
　　SergeantgrumblingThesackingthatcoveredthecorpsewassmearedinplaceswithblackpaint；andtheFarrier-SergeantdrewattentiontothisfactButtheTroop-Sergeant-MajorofETroopkickedhimseverelyontheshin，andtoldhimthathewasundoubtedlydrunk。
　　OntheMondayfollowingtheburial，theColonelsoughtrevengeontheWhiteHussarsUnfortunately，beingatthattimetemporarilyinCommandoftheStation，heorderedaBrigadefield-dayHesaidthathewishedtomaketheregiment“sweatfortheirdamnedinsolence。”andhecarriedouthisnotionthoroughlyThatMondaywasoneofthehardestdaysinthememoryoftheWhiteHussars。
　　Theywerethrownagainstaskeleton-enemy，andpushedforward，andwithdrawn，anddismounted，and“scientificallyhandled“ineverypossiblefashionoverdustycountry，tilltheysweatedprofusely。
　　Theironlyamusementcamelateintheday，whentheyfelluponthebatteryofHorseArtilleryandchaseditfortwomile’sThiswasapersonalquestion，andmostofthetroopershadmoneyontheevent；
　　theGunnerssayingopenlythattheyhadthelegsoftheWhiteHussarsTheywerewrongAmarch-pastconcludedthecampaign，andwhentheRegimentgotbacktotheirLines，themenwerecoatedwithdirtfromspurtochin-strap。
　　TheWhiteHussarshaveonegreatandpeculiarprivilegeTheywonitatFontenoy，Ithink。
　　ManyRegimentspossessspecialrights，suchaswearingcollarswithundressuniform，orabowofribbonbetweentheshoulders，orredandwhiterosesintheirhelmetsoncertaindaysoftheyearSomerightsareconnectedwithregimentalsaints，andsomewithregimentalsuccessesAllarevaluedhighly；butnonesohighlyastherightoftheWhiteHussarstohavetheBandplayingwhentheirhorsesarebeingwateredintheLinesOnlyonetuneisplayed。
　　andthattunenevervariesIdon’tknowitsrealname，buttheWhiteHussarscallit：——“TakemetoLondonagain。”Itsound’sveryprettyTheRegimentwouldsoonerbestruckofftherosterthanforegotheirdistinction。
　　Afterthe“dismiss“wassounded，theofficersrodeoffhometoprepareforstables；andthemenfiledintothelines，ridingeasy。
　　Thatistosay，theyopenedtheirtightbuttons，shiftedtheirhelmets，andbegantojokeortoswearasthehumortookthem；themorecarefulslippingoffandeasinggirthsandcurbsAgoodtroopervalueshismountexactlyasmuchashevalueshimself，andbelieves，orshouldbelieve，thatthetwotogetherareirresistiblewherewomenormen，girl’sorgun’s，areconcerned。
　　ThentheOrderly-Officergavetheorder：——“Waterhorses。”andtheRegimentloafedofftothesquadron-troughs，whichwereinrearofthestablesandbetweentheseandthebarracksTherewerefourhugetroughs，oneforeachsquadron，arrangedenechelon，sothatthewholeRegimentcouldwaterintenminutesifitlikedButitlingeredforseventeen，asarule，whiletheBandplayed。
　　Thebandstruckupasthesquadronsfiledoffthetroughsandthemenslippedtheirfeetoutofthestirrupsandchaffedeachother。
　　Thesunwasjustsettinginabig，hotbedofredcloud，andtheroadtotheCivilLinesseemedtorunstraightintothesun’seye。
　　TherewasalittledotontheroadItgrewandgrewtillitshowedasahorse，withasortofgridironthingonhisbackTheredcloudglaredthroughthebarsofthegridironSomeofthetroopersshadedtheireyeswiththeirhandsandsaid：——“Whatthemischiefasthatthere’orsegoton’im！”
　　Inanotherminutetheyheardaneighthateverysoul——horseandman——
　　intheRegimentknew，andsaw，headingstraighttowardstheBand，thedeadDrum-HorseoftheWhiteHussars！
　　Onhiswithersbangedandbumpedthekettle-drumsdrapedincrape，andonhisback，verystiffandsoldierly，satabare-headedskeleton。
　　Thebandstoppedplaying，and，foramoment，therewasahush。
　　ThensomeoneinEtroop——mensaiditwastheTroop-Sergeant-Major——
　　swunghishorseroundandyelledNoonecanaccountexactlyforwhathappenedafterwards；butitseemsthat，atleast，onemanineachtroopsetanexampleofpanic，andtherestfollowedlikesheepThehorsesthathadbarelyputtheirmuzzlesintothetrough’srearedandcapered；but，assoonastheBandbroke，whichitdidwhentheghostoftheDrum-Horsewasaboutafurlongdistant，allhoovesfollowedsuit，andtheclatterofthestampede——quitedifferentfromtheorderlythrobandroarofamovementonparade，ortheroughhorse-playofwateringincamp——madethemonlymoreterrifiedTheyfeltthatthemenontheirbackswereafraidofsomethingWhenhorsesonceknowTHAT，allisoverexceptthebutchery。
　　Troopaftertroopturnedfromthetroughsandran——anywhere，andeverywhere——likespitquicksilverItwasamostextraordinaryspectacle，formenandhorseswereinallstagesofeasiness，andthecarbine-bucketsfloppingagainsttheirsidesurgedthehorsesonMenwereshoutingandcursing，andtryingtopullclearoftheBandwhichwasbeingchasedbytheDrum-Horsewhoseriderhadfallenforwardandseemedtobespurringforawager。
　　TheColonelhadgoneovertotheMessforadrinkMostoftheofficerswerewithhim，andtheSubalternoftheDaywaspreparingtogodowntothelines，andreceivethewateringreportsfromtheTroop-SergeantMajorsWhen“TakemetoLondonagain“
　　stopped，aftertwentybars，everyoneintheMesssaid：——“Whatonearthhashappened？”Aminutelater，theyheardunmilitarynoises，andsaw，faracrosstheplain，theWhiteHussarsscattered，andbroken，andflying。
　　TheColonelwasspeechlesswithrage，forhethoughtthattheRegimenthadrisenagainsthimorwasunanimouslydrunkTheBand，adisorganizedmob，torepast，andatit’sheelslaboredtheDrum-
　　Horse——thedeadandburiedDrum-Horse——withthejolting，clatteringskeletonHogan-YalewhisperedsoftlytoMartyn：——“Nowirewillstandthattreatment。”andtheBand，whichhaddoubledlikeahare，camebackagainButtherestoftheRegimentwasgone，wasriotingallovertheProvince，fortheduskhadshutinandeachmanwashowlingtohisneighborthattheDrum-Horsewasonhisflank。
　　Troop-HorsesarefartootenderlytreatedasaruleTheycan，onemergencies，doagreatdeal，evenwithseventeenstoneontheirbacksAsthetroopersfoundout。
　　HowlongthispaniclastedIcannotsayIbelievethatwhenthemoonrosethemensawtheyhadnothingtofear，and，bytwosandthreesandhalf-troops，creptbackintoCantonmentsverymuchashamedofthemselvesMeantime，theDrum-Horse，disgustedathistreatmentbyoldfriends，pulledup，wheeledround，andtrotteduptotheMessverandah-stepsforbreadNoonelikedtorun；butnoonecaredtogoforwardtilltheColonelmadeamovementandlaidholdoftheskeleton’sfootTheBandhadhaltedsomedistanceaway，andnowcamebackslowlyTheColonelcalledit，individuallyandcollectively，everyevilnamethatoccurredtohimatthetime；
　　forhehadsethishandonthebosomoftheDrum-HorseandfoundfleshandbloodThenhebeatthekettle-drumswithhisclenchedfist，anddiscoveredthattheywerebutmadeofsilveredpaperandbambooNext，stillswearing，hetriedtodragtheskeletonoutofthesaddle，butfoundthatithadbeenwiredintothecantleThesightoftheColonel，withhisarmsroundtheskeleton’spelvisandhiskneeintheoldDrum-Horse’sstomach，wasstrikingNottosayamusingHeworriedthethingoffinaminuteortwo，andthrewitdownontheground，sayingtotheBand：——“Here，youcurs，that’swhatyou’reafraidof。”TheskeletondidnotlookprettyinthetwilightTheBand-Sergeantseemedtorecognizeit，forhebegantochuckleandchoke“ShallItakeitaway，sir？”saidtheBand-
　　Sergeant“Yes。”saidtheColonel，“takeittoHell，andridethereyourselves！”
　　TheBand-Sergeantsaluted，hoistedtheskeletonacrosshissaddle-
　　bow，andledofftothestablesThentheColonelbegantomakeinquiriesfortherestoftheRegiment，andthelanguageheusedwaswonderfulHewoulddisbandtheRegiment——hewouldcourt-martialeverysoulinit——hewouldnotcommandsuchasetofrabble，andsoon，andsoonAsthemendroppedin，hislanguagegrewwilder，untilatlastitexceededtheutmostlimitsoffreespeechallowedeventoaColonelofHorse。
　　MartyntookHogan-YaleasideandsuggestedcompulsoryretirementfromtheserviceasanecessitywhenallwasdiscoveredMartynwastheweakermanofthetwo，Hogan-Yaleputuphiseyebrowsandremarked，firstly，thathewasthesonofaLord，andsecondly，thathewasasinnocentasthebabeunbornofthetheatricalresurrectionoftheDrum-Horse。
　　“Myinstructions。”saidYale，withasingularlysweetsmile，“werethattheDrum-Horseshouldbesentbackasimpressivelyaspossible。
　　Iaskyou，AMIresponsibleifamule-headedfriendsendshimbackinsuchamannerastodisturbthepeaceofmindofaregimentofHerMajesty’sCavalry？”
　　Martynsaid：——“youareagreatmanandwillintimebecomeaGeneral；butI’dgivemychanceofatrooptobesafeoutofthisaffair。”
　　ProvidencesavedMartynandHogan-YaleTheSecond-in-CommandledtheColonelawaytothelittlecurtainedalcovewhereinthesubalternsofthewhiteHussarswereaccustomedtoplaypokerofnights；andthere，aftermanyoathsontheColonel’spart，theytalkedtogetherinlowtonesIfancythattheSecond-in-Commandmusthaverepresentedthescareastheworkofsometrooperwhomitwouldbehopelesstodetect；andIknowthathedweltuponthesinandtheshameofmakingapubliclaughingstockofthescare。
　　“Theywillcallus。”saidtheSecond-in-Command，whohadreallyafineimagination，“theywillcallusthe’Fly-by-Nights’；theywillcallusthe’GhostHunters’；theywillnicknameusfromoneendoftheArmylisttotheotherAlltheexplanationsintheworldwon’tmakeoutsidersunderstandthattheofficerswereawaywhenthepanicbeganForthehonoroftheRegimentandforyourownsakekeepthisthingquiet。”
　　TheColonelwassoexhaustedwithangerthatsoothinghimdownwasnotsodifficultasmightbeimaginedHewasmadetosee，gentlyandbydegrees，thatitwasobviouslyimpossibletocourt-martialthewholeRegiment，andequallyimpossibletoproceedagainstanysubalternwho，inhisbelief，hadanyconcerninthehoax。
　　“Butthebeast’salive！He’sneverbeenshotatall！”shoutedtheColonel“It’sflat，flagrantdisobedience！I’veknownamanbrokeforless，d——dsightlessThey’remockingme，Itellyou，Mutman！
　　They’remockingme！”
　　Oncemore，theSecond-in-CommandsethimselftosooththeColonel，andwrestledwithhimforhalf-an-hourAttheendofthattime，theRegimentalSergeant-MajorreportedhimselfThesituationwasrathernoveltelltohim；buthewasnotamantobeputoutbycircumstancesHesalutedandsaid：“Regimentallcomeback，Sir。”
　　Then，topropitiatetheColonel：——“An’noneofthehorsesanytheworse，Sir。”
　　TheColonelonlysnortedandanswered：——“You’dbettertuckthemenintotheircots，then，andseethattheydon’twakeupandcryinthenight。”TheSergeantwithdrew。
　　HislittlestrokeofhumorpleasedtheColonel，and，further，hefeltslightlyashamedofthelanguagehehadbeenusingTheSecond-in-Commandworriedhimagain，andthetwosattalkingfarintothenight。
　　Nextdaybutone，therewasaCommandingOfficer’sparade，andtheColonelharanguedtheWhiteHussarsvigorouslyThepithofhisspeechwasthat，sincetheDrum-HorseinhisoldagehadprovedhimselfcapableofcuttinguptheWholeRegiment，heshouldreturntohispostofprideattheheadoftheband，BUTtheRegimentwereasetofruffianswithbadconsciences。
　　TheWhiteHussarsshouted，andthreweverythingmovableaboutthemintotheair，andwhentheparadewasover，theycheeredtheColoneltilltheycouldn’tspeakNocheerswereputupforLieutenantHogan-Yale，whosmiledverysweetlyinthebackground。
　　SaidtheSecond-in-CommandtotheColonel，unofficially：——“Theselittlethingsensurepopularity，anddonottheleastaffectdiscipline。”
　　“ButIwentbackonmyword。”saidtheColonel。
　　“Nevermind。”saidtheSecond-in-Command“TheWhiteHussarswillfollowyouanywherefromto-dayRegiment’sarejustlikewomen。
　　Theywilldoanythingfortrinketry。”
　　Aweeklater，Hogan-Yalereceivedanextraordinaryletterfromsomeonewhosignedhimself“SecretaryCharityandZeal，3709，EC……”
　　andaskedfor“thereturnofourskeletonwhichwehavereasontobelieveisinyourpossession。”
　　“Whothedeuceisthislunaticwhotradesinbones？”saidHogan-
　　Yale。