BillJoneshadbeenunconventionalinotherrelationsbesidesthatofsheriff。HeoncecasuallymentionedtomethathehadservedonthepoliceforceofBismarck，buthehadleftbecausehe“beattheMayorovertheheadwithhisgunoneday。”Headded：“TheMayor，hedidn’tmindit，buttheSuperintendentofPolicesaidheguessedI’dbetterresign。”Hisfeeling，obviously，wasthattheSuperintendentofPolicewasamartinet，unfittotakelargeviewsoflife。
　　ItwaswhilewithBillJonesthatIfirstmadeacquaintancewithSethBullock。SethwasatthattimesheriffintheBlackHillsdistrict，andamanhehadwanted——ahorsethief——Ifinallygot，Ibeingatthetimedeputysherifftwoorthreehundredmilestothenorth。ThemanwentbyanicknamewhichIwillcall“CrazySteve“；ayearortwoafterwardsIreceivedaletteraskingabouthimfromhisuncle，athoroughlyrespectablemaninaWesternState；andlaterthisuncleandImetatWashingtonwhenIwasPresidentandheaUnitedStatesSenator。Itwassometimeafter“Steve’s“capturethatIwentdowntoDeadwoodonbusiness，SylvaneFerrisandIonhorseback，whileBillJonesdrovethewagon。Atalittletown，Spearfish，Ithink，aftercrossingthelasteightyorninetymilesofgumboprairies，wemetSethBullock。Wehadhadratheraroughtrip，andhadlainoutforafortnight，soIsupposewelookedsomewhatunkempt。Sethreceiveduswithratherdistantcourtesyatfirst，butunbentwhenhefoundoutwhowewere，remarking，“Yousee，byyourlooksIthoughtyouweresomekindofatin-horngamblingoutfit，andthatImighthavetokeepaneyeonyou！”Hetheninquiredafterthecaptureof“Steve“——withalittleoftheairofonesportsmanwhenanotherhasshotaquailthateithermighthaveclaimed——“Mybird，Ibelieve？”LaterSethBullockbecame，andhaseversinceremained，oneofmystanchestandmostvaluedfriends。HeservedasMarshalforSouthDakotaundermeasPresident。When，afterthecloseofmyterm，IwenttoAfrica，ongettingbacktoEuropeIcabledSethBullocktobringoverMrs。
　　BullockandmeetmeinLondon，whichhedid；bythattimeIfeltthatIjusthadtomeetmyownpeople，whospokemyneighborhooddialect。
　　WhenservingasdeputysheriffIwasimpressedwiththeadvantagetheofficerofthelawhasoverordinarywrong-doers，providedhethoroughlyknowshisownmind。Thereareexceptionaloutlaws，menwithapriceontheirheadsandofremarkableprowess，whoareutterlyindifferenttotakinglife，andwhosewarfareagainstsocietyisasopenasthatofasavageonthewar-path。Thelawofficerhasnoadvantagewhateveroverthesemensavewhathisownprowessmay——ormaynot——givehim。SuchamanwasBillytheKid，thenotoriousman-
　　killeranddesperadoofNewMexico，whowashimselffinallyslainbyafriendofmine，PatGarrett，whom，whenIwasPresident，ImadecollectorofcustomsatElPaso。Buttheordinarycriminal，evenwhenmurderouslyinclined，feelsjustamoment’shesitationastowhetherhecarestokillanofficerofthelawengagedinhisduty。ItookinmorethanonemanwhowasprobablyabettermanthanIwaswithbothrifleandrevolver；butineachcaseIknewjustwhatIwantedtodo，and，likeDavidHarum，I“diditfirst。”whereasthefractionofasecondthattheothermanhesitatedputhiminapositionwhereitwasuselessforhimtoresist。
　　IowemorethanIcaneverexpresstotheWest，whichofcoursemeanstothemenandwomenImetintheWest。Therewereafewpeopleofbadtypeinmyneighborhood——thatwouldbetrueofeverygroupofmen，eveninatheologicalseminary——butIcouldnotspeakwithtoogreataffectionandrespectofthegreatmajorityofmyfriends，thehard-
　　workingmenandwomenwhodweltforaspaceofperhapsahundredandfiftymilesalongtheLittleMissouri。Iwasalwaysaswelcomeattheirhousesastheywereatmine。Everybodyworked，everybodywaswillingtohelpeverybodyelse，andyetnobodyaskedanyfavors。ThesamethingwastrueofthepeoplewhomIgottoknowfiftymileseastandfiftymileswestofmyownrange，andofthemenImetontheround-ups。Theysoonacceptedmeasafriendandfellow-workerwhostoodonanequalfootingwiththem，andIbelievethemostofthemhavekepttheirfeelingformeeversince。NoguestswereevermorewelcomeattheWhiteHousethantheseoldfriendsofthecattleranchesandthecowcamps——themenwithwhomIhadriddenthelongcircleandeatenatthetail-boardofachuck-wagon——whenevertheyturnedupatWashingtonduringmyPresidency。IrememberoneofthemwhoappearedatWashingtononedayjustbeforelunch，ahuge，powerfulmanwho，whenIknewhim，hadbeendistinctlyafightingcharacter。Ithappenedthatonthatdayanotheroldfriend，theBritishAmbassador，Mr。Bryce，wasamongthosecomingtolunch。JustbeforewewentinI
　　turnedtomycow-puncherfriendandsaidtohimwithgreatsolemnity，“Remember，Jim，thatifyoushotatthefeetoftheBritishAmbassadortomakehimdance，itwouldbelikelytocauseinternationalcomplications“；towhichJimrespondedwithunaffectedhorror，“Why，Colonel，Ishouldn’tthinkofit，Ishouldn’tthinkofit！”
　　NotonlydidthemenandwomenwhomImetinthecowcountryquiteunconsciouslyhelpme，bytheinsightwhichworkingandlivingwiththemenabledmetogetintothemindandsouloftheaverageAmericanoftherighttype，buttheyhelpedmeinanotherway。Imadeupmymindthatthemenwereofjustthekindwhomitwouldbewelltohavewithmeifeveritbecamenecessarytogotowar。WhentheSpanishWarcame，Igavethisthoughtpracticalrealization。
　　Fortunately，WisterandRemington，withpenandpencil，havemadethesemenliveaslongasourliteraturelives。IhavesometimesbeenaskedifWister’s“Virginian“isnotoverdrawn；why，oneofthemenI
　　havementionedinthischapterwasinallessentialstheVirginianinreallife，notonlyinhisforcebutinhischarm。HalfofthemenI
　　workedwithorplayedwithandhalfofthemenwhosoldieredwithmeafterwardsinmyregimentmighthavewalkedoutofWister’sstoriesorRemington’spictures。
　　TherewerebadcharactersintheWesterncountryatthattime，ofcourse，andundertheconditionsoflifetheywereprobablymoredangerousthantheywouldhavebeenelsewhere。Ihardlyeverhadanydifficulty，however。Ineverwentintoasaloon，andinthelittlehotelsIkeptoutofthebar-roomunless，assometimeshappened，thebar-roomwastheonlyroomonthelowerfloorexceptthedining-room。
　　Ialwaysendeavoredtokeepoutofaquarreluntilself-respectforbademymakinganyfurtherefforttoavoidit，andIveryrarelyhadeventhesemblanceoftrouble。
　　Ofcourseamusingincidentsoccurrednowandthen。UsuallythesetookplacewhenIwashuntinglosthorses，forinhuntinglosthorsesIwasordinarilyalone，andoccasionallyhadtotravelahundredorahundredandfiftymilesawayfrommyowncountry。OnonesuchoccasionIreachedalittlecowtownlongafterdark，stabledmyhorseinanemptyoutbuilding，andwhenIreachedthehotelwasinformedinresponsetomyrequestforabedthatIcouldhavethelastoneleft，astherewasonlyoneothermaninit。TheroomtowhichIwasshowncontainedtwodoublebeds；onecontainedtwomenfastasleep，andtheotheronlyoneman，alsoasleep。Thismanprovedtobeafriend，oneoftheBillJoneseswhomIhavepreviouslymentioned。Iundressedaccordingtothefashionofthedayandplace，thatis，Iputmytrousers，boots，shaps，andgundownbesidethebed，andturnedin。A
　　coupleofhourslaterIwasawakenedbythedoorbeingthrownopenandalanternflashedinmyface，thelightgleamingonthemuzzleofacocked。45。Anothermansaidtothelantern-bearer，“Itain’thim“；
　　thenextmomentmybedfellowwascoveredwithtwoguns，andaddressed，“Now，Bill，don’tmakeafuss，butcomealongquiet。”“I’mnotthinkingofmakingafuss。”saidBill。“That’sright。”wastheanswer；
　　“we’reyourfriends；wedon’twanttohurtyou；wejustwantyoutocomealong，youknowwhy。”AndBillpulledonhistrousersandbootsandwalkedoutwiththem。Uptothistimetherehadnotbeenasoundfromtheotherbed。Nowamatchwasscratched，acandlelit，andoneofthemenintheotherbedlookedroundtheroom。AtthispointI
　　committedthebreachofetiquetteofaskingquestions。“IwonderwhytheytookBill。”Isaid。Therewasnoanswer，andIrepeated，“I
　　wonderwhytheytookBill。”“Well。”saidthemanwiththecandle，dryly，“Ireckontheywantedhim。”andwiththatheblewoutthecandleandconversationceased。LaterIdiscoveredthatBillinafitofplayfulnesshadhelduptheNorthernPacifictrainatanear-bystationbyshootingatthefeetoftheconductortomakehimdance。
　　ThiswaspurelyajokeonBill’spart，buttheNorthernPacificpeoplepossessedalessrobustsenseofhumor，andontheircomplainttheUnitedStatesMarshalwassentafterBill，onthegroundthatbydelayingthetrainhehadinterferedwiththemails。
　　TheonlytimeIeverhadserioustroublewasatanevenmoreprimitivelittlehotelthantheoneinquestion。ItwasalsoonanoccasionwhenIwasoutafterlosthorses。Belowthehotelhadmerelyabar-room，adining-room，andalean-tokitchen；abovewasaloftwithfifteenortwentybedsinit。ItwaslateintheeveningwhenIreachedtheplace。Iheardoneortwoshotsinthebar-roomasIcameup，andI
　　dislikedgoingin。Buttherewasnowhereelsetogo，anditwasacoldnight。Insidetheroomwereseveralmen，who，includingthebartender，werewearingthekindofsmilewornbymenwhoaremakingbelievetolikewhattheydon’tlike。Ashabbyindividualinabroadhatwithacockedgunineachhandwaswalkingupanddownthefloortalkingwithstridentprofanity。Hehadevidentlybeenshootingattheclock，whichhadtwoorthreeholesinitsface。
　　Hewasnota“badman“ofthereallydangeroustype，thetrueman-
　　killertype，buthewasanobjectionablecreature，awould-bebadman，abullywhoforthemomentwashavingthingsallhisownway。Assoonashesawmehehailedmeas“Foureyes。”inreferencetomyspectacles，andsaid，“Foureyesisgoingtotreat。”Ijoinedinthelaughandgotbehindthestoveandsatdown，thinkingtoescapenotice。Hefollowedme，however，andthoughItriedtopassitoffasajestthismerelymadehimmoreoffensive，andhestoodleaningoverme，agunineachhand，usingveryfoullanguage。Hewasfoolishtostandsonear，and，moreover，hisheelswereclosetogether，sothathispositionwasunstable。Accordingly，inresponsetohisreiteratedcommandthatIshouldsetupthedrinks，Isaid，“Well，ifI’vegotto，I’vegotto。”androse，lookingpasthim。
　　AsIrose，Istruckquickandhardwithmyrightjusttoonesideofthepointofhisjaw，hittingwithmyleftasIstraightenedout，andthenagainwithmyright。Hefiredtheguns，butIdonotknowwhetherthiswasmerelyaconvulsiveactionofhishandsorwhetherhewastryingtoshootatme。Whenhewentdownhestruckthecornerofthebarwithhishead。Itwasnotacaseinwhichonecouldaffordtotakechances，andifhehadmovedIwasabouttodroponhisribswithmyknees；buthewassenseless。Itookawayhisguns，andtheotherpeopleintheroom，whowerenowloudintheirdenunciationofhim，hustledhimoutandputhiminashed。Igotdinnerassoonaspossible，sittinginacornerofthedining-roomawayfromthewindows，andthenwentupstairstobedwhereitwasdarksothattherewouldbenochanceofanyoneshootingatmefromtheoutside。
　　However，nothinghappened。Whenmyassailantcameto，hewentdowntothestationandleftonafreight。
　　AsIhavesaid，mostofthemenofmyregimentwerejustsuchmenasthoseIknewintheranchcountry；indeed，someofmyranchfriendswereintheregiment——FredHerrig，theforestranger，forinstance，inwhosecompanyIshotmybiggestmountainram。Aftertheregimentwasdisbandedthecareersofcertainofthemenwerediversifiedbyoddincidents。Ourrelationswereofthefriendliest，and，astheyexplained，theyfelt“asifIwasafather“tothem。Themanifestationsofthisfeelingweresometimeslessattractivethanthephrasesounded，asitwaschieflyusedbythefewwhowerebehavinglikeverybadchildrenindeed。Thegreatmajorityofthemenwhentheregimentdisbandedtookupthebusinessoftheirliveswheretheyhaddroppeditafewmonthspreviously，andthesemenmerelytriedtohelpmeorhelponeanotherastheoccasionarose；nomaneverhadmorecausetobeproudofhisregimentthanIhadofmine，bothinwarandinpeace。Buttherewasaminorityamongthemwhoincertainwayswereunsuitedforalifeofpeacefulregularity，althoughoftenenoughtheyhadbeenfirst-classsoldiers。
　　Itwasfromthesementhatletterscamewithastereotypedopeningwhichalwayscausedmyhearttosink——“DearColonel：IwriteyoubecauseIamintrouble。”Thetroublemighttakealmostanyform。Onecorrespondentcontinued：“Ididnottakethehorse，buttheysayI
　　did。”Anothercomplainedthathismother-in-lawhadputhiminjailforbigamy。Inthecaseofanothertheincidentwasmoremarkworthy。I
　　willcallhimGritto。Hewrotemealetterbeginning：“DearColonel：I
　　writeyoubecauseIamintrouble。Ihaveshotaladyintheeye。But，Colonel，Iwasnotshootingatthelady。Iwasshootingatmywife。”
　　whichheapparentlyregardedasasufficientexcuseasbetweenmenoftheworld。IansweredthatIdrewthelineatshootingatladies，anddidnothearanymoreoftheincidentforseveralyears。
　　Then，whileIwasPresident，amemberoftheregiment，MajorLlewellyn，whowasFederalDistrictAttorneyundermeinNewMexico，wrotemealetterfilled，ashislettersusuallywere，withbitsofinterestinggossipaboutthecomrades。Itraninpartasfollows：