Ipromptlycanceledmyticket,waited,andmethim。Heprovedtobeapersonofhappilytreacherousmemory,sothatthesimpleexpedientofarranginghisstatementsinpairswassufficienttoreducehimtoconfusion。Forinstance,hehadbeentrappedintomakingtheunwaryremark,“IdonotwanttorepealtheCivilServiceLaw,andIneversaidso。”Iproducedthefollowingextractfromoneofhisspeeches:
  “Iwillvotenotonlytostrikeoutthisprovision,butIwillvotetorepealthewholelaw。”Tothishemerelyrepliedthattherewas“noinconsistencybetweenthosetwostatements。”Heassertedthat“RufusP。Putnam,fraudulentlycreditedtoWashingtonCounty,Ohio,neverlivedinWashingtonCounty,Ohio,orinmyCongressionaldistrict,orinOhioasfarasIknow。”Weproducedaletterwhich,thankstoabeneficentProvidence,hehadhimselfwrittenaboutMr。RufusP。
  Putnam,inwhichhesaid:“Mr。RufusP。Putnamisalegalresidentofmydistrictandhasrelativeslivingtherenow。”Heexplained,first,thathehadnotwrittentheletter;second,thathehadforgottenhehadwrittentheletter;and,third,thathewasgrosslydeceivedwhenhewroteit。Hesaid:“Ihavenotbeeninformedofoneapplicantwhohasfoundaplaceintheclassifiedservicefrommydistrict。”Weconfrontedhimwiththenamesofeight。Helookedthemoverandsaid,“Yes,theeightmenarelivinginmydistrictasnowconstituted。”butaddedthathisdistricthadbeengerrymanderedsothathecouldnolongertellwhodidandwhodidn’tliveinit。WhenIstartedfurthertoquestionhim,heaccusedmeofalackofhumorinnotappreciatingthathisstatementsweremade“inajestingway。”andthenannouncedthat“aCongressmanmakingaspeechontheflooroftheHouseofRepresentativeswasperhapsinalittledifferentpositionfromawitnessonthewitnessstand“——afrankadmissionthathedidnotconsiderexactitudeofstatementnecessarywhenhewasspeakingasaCongressman。Finallyherosewithgreatdignityandsaidthatitwashis“constitutionalright“nottobequestionedelsewhereastowhathesaidontheflooroftheHouseofRepresentatives;andaccordinglyheleftthedelightedcommitteetopursueitsinvestigationswithoutfurtheraidfromhim。
  AmoreimportantopponentwasthethenDemocraticleaderoftheSenate,Mr。Gorman。InaspeechattackingtheCommissionMr。Gormandescribedwithmovingpathoshowafriendofhis,“abrightyoungmanfromBaltimore。”aSunday-schoolscholar,wellrecommendedbyhispastor,wishedtobealetter-carrier;andhowhewentbeforeustobeexamined。Thefirstquestionweaskedhim,saidMr。Gorman,wastheshortestroutefromBaltimoretoChina,towhichthe“brightyoungman“respondedthathedidn’twanttogotoChina,andhadneverstudiedupthatroute。Thereupon,saidMr。Gorman,weaskedhimallaboutthesteamshiplinesfromtheUnitedStatestoEurope,thenbranchedhimoffintogeology,triedhiminchemistry,andfinallyturnedhimdown。
  ApparentlyMr。Gormandidnotknowthatwekeptfullrecordsofourexaminations。IatoncewrotetohimstatingthatIhadcarefullylookedthroughallourexaminationpapersandhadnotbeenabletofindonequestionevenremotelyresemblinganyofthesequestionswhichheallegedhadbeenasked,andthatIwouldbegreatlyobligedifhewouldgivemethenameofthe“brightyoungman“whohaddeceivedhim。
  However,that“brightyoungman“remainedpermanentlywithoutaname。
  IalsoaskedMr。Gorman,ifhedidnotwishtogiveusthenameofhisinformant,togiveusthedateoftheexaminationinwhichhewassupposedtohavetakenpart;andIoffered,ifhewouldsenddownarepresentativetolookthroughourfiles,togivehimalltheaidwecouldinhisefforttodiscoveranysuchquestions。ButMr。Gorman,nothithertoknownasasensitivesoul,expressedhimselfassoshockedatthethoughtthattheveracityofthe“brightyoungman“
  shouldbedoubtedthathecouldnotbringhimselftoanswermyletter。
  SoImadeapublicstatementtotheeffectthatnosuchquestionshadeverbeenasked。Mr。Gormanbroodedoverthis;andduringthenextsessionofCongressheroseandcomplainedthathehadreceivedavery“impudent“letterfrommemyletterwasarespectfulnotecallingattentiontothefactthat,ifhewished,hecouldbypersonalexaminationsatisfyhimselfthathisstatementshadnofoundationinfact。Hefurtherstatedthathehadbeen“cruelly“calledtoaccountbymebecausehehadbeenendeavoringtorighta“greatwrong“thattheCivilServiceCommissionhadcommitted;buthenever,thenorafterwards,furnishedanycluetotheidentityofthatchildofhisfondestfancy,thebrightyoungmanwithoutaname。[*]
  [*]ThisisacondensationofaspeechIatthetimemadetotheSt。
  LouisCivilServiceReformAssociation。SenatorGormanwasthentheSenateleaderofthepartythathadjustbeenvictoriousintheCongressionalelections。
  Theincidentisofnotechieflyassheddinglightonthementalmake-
  upofthemanwhoatthetimewasoneofthetwoorthreemostinfluentialleadersoftheDemocraticparty。Mr。GormanhadbeenMr。
  Cleveland’spartymanagerinthePresidentialcampaign,andwastheDemocraticleaderinCongress。Itseemedextraordinarythatheshouldbesorecklessastomakestatementswithnofoundationinfact,whichhemighthaveknownthatIwouldnotpermittopassunchallenged。
  Then,asnow,theordinarynewspaper,inNewYorkandelsewhere,wasquiteasrecklessinitsmisstatementsoffactaboutpublicmenandmeasures;butforamaninMr。Gorman’spositionofresponsibleleadershipsuchactionseemedhardlyworthwhile。However,itisatleasttobesaidforMr。Gormanthathewasnottryingbyfalsehoodtotakeawayanyman’scharacter。ItwouldbewellforwritersandspeakerstobearinmindtheremarkofPudd’nheadWilsontotheeffectthatwhilethereareninehundredandninety-ninekindsoffalsehood,theonlykindspecificallycondemnedinScripture,justasmurder,theft,andadulteryarecondemned,isbearingfalsewitnessagainstone’sneighbor。
  Oneoftheworstfeaturesoftheoldspoilssystemwastheruthlesscrueltyandbrutalityitsooftenbredinthetreatmentoffaithfulpublicservantswithoutpoliticalinfluence。Lifeishardenoughandcruelenoughatbest,andthisisastrueofpublicserviceasofprivateservice。Undernosystemwillitbepossibletodoawaywithallfavoritismandbrutalityandmeannessandmalice。Butatleastwecantrytominimizetheexhibitionofthesequalities。IoncecameacrossacaseinWashingtonwhichverykeenlyexcitedmysympathy。
  UnderanAdministrationpriortotheonewithwhichIwasconnectedaladyhadbeenoustedfromaGovernmentposition。Shecametometoseeifshecouldbereinstated。Thiswasnotpossible,butbyactiveworkIdidgetherputbackinasomewhatlowerposition,andthisonlybyanappealtothesympathyofacertainofficial。ShewassopallidandsocarewornthatsheexcitedmysympathyandImadeinquiriesabouther。Shewasapoorwomanwithtwochildren,awidow。Sheandhertwochildrenwereinactualwant。Shecouldbarelykeepthetwochildrendecentlyclad,andshecouldnotgivethemthefoodgrowingchildrenneed。ThreeyearsbeforeshehadbeenemployedinabureauinadepartmentofWashington,doingherworkfaithfully,atasalaryofabout$800。Itwasenoughtokeepherandhertwochildreninclothing,food,andshelter。Onedaythechiefofthebureaucalledherupandtoldherhewasverysorrythathehadtodismissher。Ingreatdistresssheaskedhimwhy;shethoughtthatshehadbeendoingherworksatisfactorily。Heansweredherthatshehadbeendoingwell,andthathewishedverymuchthathecouldkeepher,thathewoulddosoifhepossiblycould,butthathecouldnot;foracertainSenator,givinghisname,averyinfluentialmemberoftheSenate,haddemandedherplaceforafriendofhiswhohadinfluence。Thewomantoldthebureauchiefthatitmeantturningherouttostarve。Shehadbeenthirteenorfourteenyearsinthepublicservice;shehadlostalltouchwithherfriendsinhernativeState;dismissalmeantabsolutewantforherandherchildren。Onthisthechief,whowasakindman,saidhewouldnothaveherturnedout,andsentherbacktoherwork。
  Butthreeweeksafterwardshecalledherupagainandtoldherhecouldnotsayhowsorryhewas,butthethinghadtobedone。TheSenatorhadbeenaroundinpersontoknowwhythechangehadnotbeenmade,andhadtoldthechiefthathewouldbehimselfremovediftheplacewerenotgivenhim。TheSenatorwasanextremelyinfluentialman。Hiswantshadtobeattendedto,andthewomanhadtogo。Andgoshedid,andturnedoutshewas,tosufferwithherchildrenandtostarveoutright,ortoliveinsemi-starvation,justasmightbefall。
  Idonotblamethebureauchief,whohatedtodowhathedid,althoughhelackedthecouragetorefuse;IdonotevenverymuchblametheSenator,whodidnotknowthehardshipthathewascausing,andwhohadbeencallousedbylongtraininginthespoilssystem;butthissystem,asystemwhichpermitsandencouragessuchdeeds,isasystemofbrutaliniquity。
  AnymanaccustomedtodealingwithpracticalpoliticscanwithdifficultykeepastraightfacewhenhereadsorlistenstosomeoftheargumentsadvancedagainstCivilServiceReform。Oneofthesearguments,afavoritewithmachinepoliticians,takestheformofanappealto“partyloyalty“infillingminoroffices。Why,againandagaintheseverysamemachinepoliticianstakejustasgoodcareofhenchmenoftheoppositepartyasofthoseoftheirownparty。Intheunderworldofpoliticstheclosesttiesaresometimesthosewhichknittogethertheactiveprofessionalworkersofoppositepoliticalparties。AfriendofmineintheNewYorkLegislature——theheroofthealphaandomegaincident——onceremarkedtome:“Whenyouhavebeeninpubliclifealittlelonger,Mr。Roosevelt,youwillunderstandthattherearenopoliticsinpolitics。”Inthepoliticstowhichhewasreferringthisremarkcouldbetakenliterally。
  Anotherillustrationofthistruthwasincidentallygivenme,ataboutthesametime,byanacquaintance,aTammanymannamedCostigan,agoodfellowaccordingtohislights。IhadbeenspeakingtohimofafightinoneoftheNewYorkdowntowndistricts,aDemocraticdistrictinwhichtheRepublicanpartywasinahopelessminority,and,moreover,wassplitintotheHalf-BreedandStalwartfactions。Ithadbeenaninterestingfightinmorethanoneway。Forinstance,theRepublicanparty,atthegeneralelection,polledsomethinglikefivehundredandfiftyvotes,andyetattheprimarythetwofactionspolledsevenhundredandtwenty-fivealltold。Thesumofthepartswasthusconsiderablygreaterthanthewhole。Therehadbeenotherlittledetailsthatmadethecontestworthyofnote。ThehallinwhichtheprimarywasheldhadbeenhiredbytheStalwartsfromaconscientiousgentleman。TohimtheHalf-Breedsappliedtoknowwhethertheycouldnothirethehallawayfromtheiropponents,andofferedhimasubstantialmoneyadvance。Theconscientiousgentlemanrepliedthathiswordwasasgoodashisbond,thathehadhiredthehalltotheStalwarts,andthatitmustbetheirs。ButheaddedthathewaswillingtohirethedoorwaytotheHalf-Breedsiftheypaidhimtheadditionalsumofmoneytheyhadmentioned。Thebargainwasstruck,andthemeetingofthehostilehostswasspirited,whenthemenwhohadrentedthedoorwaysoughttobarthepathofthemenwhohadrentedthehall。IwasaskingmyfriendCostiganaboutthedetailsofthestruggle,asheseemedthoroughlyacquaintedwiththem,andhesmiledgood-naturedlyovermysurpriseattherehavingbeenmorevotescastthanthereweremembersofthepartyinthewholedistrict。SaidI,“Mr。Costigan,youseemtohaveagreatdealofknowledgeaboutthis;howdidithappen?”Towhichhereplied,“Comenow,Mr。
  Roosevelt,youknowit’sthesamegangthatvotesinalltheprimaries。”
  Somuchformostoftheoppositiontothereform。Therewas,however,somehonestandatleastpartiallyjustifiableoppositionbothtocertainofthemethodsadvocatedbyCivilServiceReformersandtocertainoftheCivilServiceReformersthemselves。Thepetshibbolethsoftheopponentsofthereformwerethatthesystemweproposedtointroducewouldgiverisetomerered-tapebureaucracy,andthatthereformerswerepharisees。Neitherstatementwastrue。Eachstatementcontainedsometruth。
  Ifmenarenottobeappointedbyfavoritism,wiseorunwise,honestordishonest,theymustbeappointedinsomeautomaticway,whichgenerallymeansbycompetitiveexamination。Theeasiestkindofcompetitiveexaminationisanexaminationinwriting。Thisisentirelyappropriateforcertainclassesofwork,forlawyers,stenographers,typewriters,clerks,mathematicians,andassistantsinanastronomicalobservatory,forinstance。Itisutterlyinappropriateforcarpenters,detectives,andmountedcattleinspectorsalongtheRioGrande——toinstancethreetypesofemploymentastowhichIhadtodobattletopreventwell-meaningbureaucratsfrominsistingonwrittencompetitiveentranceexaminations。Itwouldbequitepossibletoholdaverygoodcompetitiveexaminationformountedcattleinspectorsbymeansofpracticaltestsinbrandreadingandshootingwithrifleandrevolver,inriding“mean“horsesandinropingandthrowingsteers。Ididmybesttohaveexaminationsofthiskindinstituted,butmyproposalwasofpreciselythetypewhichmostshockstheroutineofficialmind,andIwasneverabletogetitputintopracticaleffect。