`Why,yes,inamanner。Forawhile,hemanagedverywell;indeed,hewasamodelofmoderationandprudence——somethingtoomuchsoforthetastesofourwildcommunity;——but,somehow,Lowboroughhadnotthegiftofmoderation:Ifhestumbledalittletooneside,hemustgodownbeforehecouldrighthimself:ifheovershotthemarkonenight,theeffectsofitrenderedhimsomiserablethenextdaythathemustrepeattheoffencetomendit;andsoonfromdaytoday,tillhisclamorousconsciencebroughthimtoastand——Andthen,inhissobermoments,hesobotheredhisfriendswithhisremorse,andhisterrorsandwoes,thattheywereobliged,inself-defence,togethimtodrownhissorrowsinwine,oranymorepotentbeveragethatcametohand;andwhenhisfirstscruplesofconsciencewereovercome,hewouldneednomorepersuading,hewouldoftengrowdesperate,andbeasgreatablackguardasanyofthemcoulddesire——butonlytolamenthisownunutterablewickednessanddegradationthemorewhenthefitwasover。
`Atlast,onedaywhenheandIwerealonetogether,afterponderingawhileinoneofhisgloomy,abstractedmoods,withhisarmsfoldedandhisheadsunkonhisbreast,——hesuddenlywokeup,andvehementlygraspingmyarm,said,——
`Huntingdon,thiswon’tdo!I’mresolvedtohavedonewithit。’
`What,areyougoingtoshootyourself?’saidI。
`No;I’mgoingtoreform,’
`Oh,that’snothingnew]You’vebeengoingtoreformthesetwelvemonthsandmore。’
`Yes,butyouwouldn’tletme;andIwassuchafoolIcouldn’tlivewithoutyou。ButnowIseewhatitisthatkeepsmeback,andwhat’swantedtosaveme;andI’dcompassseaandlandtogetit——onlyI’mafraidthere’snchance。’Andbesighedasifhisheartwouldbreak。
`WhatisitLowborough?’saidI,thinkingbewasfairlycrackedatlast,`Awife,’heanswered;`forIcan’tlivealone,becausemyownminddistractsme,andIcan’tlivewithyou,becauseyoutakethedevil’spartagainstme。’
`Who——I?’
`Yes——allofyoudo,——andyoumorethananyofthem,youknow,ButifIcouldgetawife,withfortuneenoughtopayoffmydebtsandsetmestraightintheworld——`
`Tobesure,’saidI。
`Andsweetnessandgoodnessenough,’becontinued,`tomakehometolerable,andtoreconcilemetomyself,——IthinkIshoulddo,yet,I
shallneverbeinloveagain,that’scertain;butperhapsthatwouldbenogreatmatter,itwouldenablemetochoosewithmyeyesopen,——andI
shouldmakeagoodhusbandinspiteofit;butcouldanyonebeinlovewithme?——that’sthequestion——Withyourgoodlooksandpowersoffascination’
hewaspleasedtosay,`Imighthope;butasitis,Huntingdon,doyouthinkanybodywouldtakeme——ruinedandwretchedasIam?’
`Yes,certainly。’
`Who?’
`Why,anyneglectedoldmaid,fastingindespair,wouldbedelightedto——`
`No,no,’saidhe——`itmustbesomebodythatIcanlove。’
`Why,youjustsaidyounevercouldbeinloveagain!’
`Well,loveisnottheword,——butsomebodythatIcanlike——I’llsearchallEnglandthrough,atallevents!’hecried,withasuddenburstofhope,ordesperation。`Succeedorfall,itwillbebetterthanrushingheadlongtodestructionatthatd——dclub:sofarewelltoitandyou,WheneverImeetyouonhonestgroundorunderaChristianroof,Ishallbegladtoseeyou;butnevermoreshallyouenticemetothatdevil’sden!’
`Thiswasshamefullanguage,butIshookhandswithhim,andweparted。Hekepthisword;andfromthattimeforward,hehasbeenapatternofpropriety,asfarasIcantell;but,tilllately,Ihavenothadverymuchtodowithhim。Heoccasionallysoughtmycompanybutasfrequentlyshrunkfromit,fearinglestIshouldwilehimbacktodestruction,andIfoundhisnotveryentertaining,especiallyashesometimesattemptedtoawakenmyconscienceanddrawmefromtheperditionheconsideredhimselftohaveescaped;butwhenIdidhappentomeethim,Iseldomfailedtoaskaftertheprogressofhismatrimonialeffortsandresearches,and,ingeneralhecouldgivemebutapooraccount。Themotherswererepelledbyhisemptycoffersandhisreputationforgambling,andthedaughtersbyhiscloudybrowandmelancholytemper,——besides,hedidn’tunderstandthem;hewantedthespiritandassurancetocarryhispoint。
`IlefthimatitwhenIwenttothecontinent;andonmyreturn,attheyear’send,Ifoundhimstilladisconsolatebachelor——though,certainly,lookingsomewhatlesslikeanunblestexilefromthetombthanbefore。
Theyoungladieshadceasedtobeafraidofhim,andwerebeginningtothinkhimquiteinteresting;butthemammaswerestillunrelenting,Itwasaboutthistime,Helen,thatmygoodangelbroughtmeintoconjunctionwithyou;andthenIhadeyesandearsfornobodyelse,Butmeantime,Lowboroughbecameacquaintedwithourcharmingfriend,MissWilmot——throughinterventionofhisgoodangel,nodoubthewouldtellyou,thoughhedidnotdaretofixhishopesononesocourtedandadmired,tillaftertheywerebroughtintoclosercontacthereatStaningley,andshe,intheabsenceofherotheradmirers,indubitablycourtedhisnoticeandheldouteveryencouragementtohistimidadvances。Thenindeed,hebegantohopeforadawnofbrighterdays;andif,forawhile,Idarkenedhisprospectsbystandingbetweenhimandhissun——andso,nearlyplungedhimagainintotheabyssofdespair——itonlyintensifiedhisardourandstrengthenedhishopeswhenIchosetoabandonthefieldinthepursuitofabrightertreasure。Inaword,asItoldyou,heisfairlybesotted,Atfirst,hecoulddimlyperceiveherfaults,andtheygavehimconsiderableuneasiness;butnowhispassionandherarttogetherhaveblindedhimtoeverythingbutherperfectionsandhisamazinggoodfortune,Lastnight,hecametoruebrimfulofhisnew-foundfelicity:
`Huntingdon,Iamnotacastaway!’saidhe,seizingmyhandandsqueezingitlikeavice,`Thereishappinessinstoreformeyet——eveninthislife——shelovesme!’
`Indeed!’saidI。`Hasshetoldyouso?’
`No,butIcannolongerdoubtit。Doyounotseehowpointedlykindandaffectionatesheis?Andsheknowstheutmostextentofmypoverty,andcaresnothingaboutit!Sheknowsallthefollyandallthewickednessofmyformerlife,andisnotafraidtotrustme——andmyrankandtitlearenoallurementstoher;forthem,sheutterlydisregards。Sheisthemostgenerous,highmindedbeingthatcanbeconceivedof。Shewillsaveme,bodyandsoul,fromdestruction。Already,shehasennobledmeinmyownestimation,andmademethreetimesbetter,wiser,greaterthanIwas,Oh!ifIhadbutknownherbefore,howmuchdegradationandmiseryIshouldhavebeenspared!ButwhathaveIdonetodeservesomagnificentacreature?’
`Andthecreamofthejest,’continuedMrHuntingdon,laughing,`isthattheartfulminxlovesnothingabouthim,buthistitleandpedigree,and`thatdelightfuloldfamilyseat,’
`Howdoyouknow?’saidI。
`Shetoldmesoherself;shesaid,`Asforthemanhimself,I
thoroughlydespisehim;butthen,Isuppose,itistimetobemakingmychoice,andifIwaitedforsomeonecapableofelicitingmyesteemandaffection,Ishouldhavetopassmylifeinsingleblessedness,forIdetestyouall!’Ha,ha!Isuspectshewaswrongthere;——buthowever,itisevidentshehasnoloveforhim,poorfellow,’
`Thenyououghttotellhimso。’
`What,andspoilallherplansandprospects,poorgirl?No,no;
thatwouldbeabreachofconfidence,wouldn’tit,Helen?Ha,ha!Besides,itwouldbreakhisheart。’Andhelaughedagain。
`Well,MrHuntingdon,Idon’tknowwhatyouseesoamazinglydivertinginthematter:Iseenothingtolaughat。’
`I’mlaughingatyou,justnow,Jove,’saidhe,redoublinghiscachinnations,Andleavinghimtoenjoyhismerrimentalone,ItouchedRubywiththewhip,andcanteredontorejoinourcompanions;forwehadbeenwalkingourhorsesallthistime,andwereconsequentlyalongwaybehind。Arthurwassoonatmysideagain;butnotdisposedtotalktohim,Ibrokeintoagallop。Hedidthesame;andwedidnotslackenourpacetillwecameupwithMissWilmotandLordLowborough,whichwaswithinhalfamileoftheparkgates。Iavoidedallfurtherconversationwithhim,tillwecametotheendofourride,whenImeanttojumpoffmyhorseandvanishintothehouse,beforehecouldofferhisassistance;butwhileIwasdisengagingmyhabitfromthecrutch,heliftedmeoff;andheldmebybothhands,assertingthathewouldnotletmegotillIhadforgivenhim。
`Ihavenothingtoforgive,’saidI。Youhavenotinjuredme。’
`No,darling——GodforbidthatIshould!——butyouareangry,becauseitwastomethatAnnabellaconfessedherlackofesteemforherlover。’
`No,Arthur,itisnotthatthatdispleasesme:itisthewholesystemofyourconducttowardsyourfriend;andifyouwishmetoforgetit,go,now,andtellhimwhatsortofwomanitis,thatheadoressomadly,andonwhomhehashunghishopesoffuturehappiness。’
`Itellyou,Helen,itwouldbreakhisheart——itwouldbethedeathofhim,——besidesbeingascandaloustricktopoorAnnabella。Thereisnohelpforhimnow;heispastprayingfor。Besides,shemaykeepupthedeceptiontotheendofthechapter:andthenhewillbejustashappyintheillusionasifitwerereality;orperhapshewillonlydiscoverhismistakewhenhehasceasedtoloveher;——andifnot,itismuchbetterthatthetruthshoulddawngraduallyuponhim,Sonow,myangel,IhopeIhavemadeoutaclearcase,andfullyconvincedyouthatIcannotmaketheatonementyourequire。Whatotherrequisitionhaveyoutomake?Speak,andIwillgladlyobey。’
`Ihavenonebutthis,’saidI,asgravelyasbefore;`that,infuture,youwillnevermakeajestofthesufferingsofothers,andalwaysuseyourinfluencewithyourfriendsfortheirownadvantageagainsttheirevilpropensities,insteadofsecondingtheirevilpropensitiesagainstthemselves。’
`Iwilldomyutmost,’saidhe,`torememberandperformtheinjunctionsofmyangelmonitress,’andafterkissingbothmyglovedhands,heletmego。
WhenIenteredmyroom,IwassurprisedtoseeAnnabellaWilmotstandingbeforemytoilet-table,composedlysurveyingherfeaturesintheglass,withonehandflirtinghergold-mountedwhip,andtheotherholdingupherlonghabit。
`Shecertainlyisamagnificentcreature!’thoughtI,asIbeheldthattall,finely-developedfigure,andthereflectionofthehandsomefaceinthemirrorbeforeme,withtheglossydarkhair,slightlyandnotungracefullydisorderedbythebreezyride,therichbrowncomplexionglowingwithexercise,andtheblackeyessparklingwithunwontedbrilliance。Onperceivingme,sheturnedroundexclaiming,withalaughthatsavouredmoreofmalicethanofmirth,——
`WhyHelen!whathaveyoubeendoingsolong?——Icametotellyoumygoodfortune,’shecontinued,regardlessofRachel’spresence。
`LordLowboroughhasproposed,andIhavebeengraciouslypleasedtoaccepthim。Don’tyouenvyme,dear?’
`No,love,’saidI——`orhimeither,’Imentallyadded。`AnddoyoulikehimAnnabella?’
`Likehim!yes,tobesure——overheadandearsinlove!’
`Well,Ihopeyou’llmakehimagoodwife’
`Thankyou,mydear!Andwhatbesidesdoyouhope?’
`Ihopeyouwillbothloveeachother,andbothbehappy。’
`Thanks;——andIhopeyouwillmakeaverygoodwifetoMrHuntingdon!’saidshe,withaqueenlybow,andretired。
`Oh,miss!howcouldyousaysotoher?’criedRachel。
`Saywhat?’repliedI。
`Why,thatyouhopedshewouldmakehimagoodwife——Ineverheardsuchathing!’
`BecauseIdohopeit——orrather,Iwishit——she’salmostpasthope。’
`Well!’saidshe,`I’msureIhopehe’llmakeheragoodhusband。Theytellqueerthingsabouthimdownstairs。Theyweresaying——
`Iknow,Rachel——I’veheardallabouthim;buthe’sreformednow。
Andtheyhavenobusinesstotelltalesabouttheirmasters。’
`No,mum——orelse,theyhavesaidsomethingsaboutMrHuntingdontoo。’
`Iwon’thearthem,Rachel;theytelllies。’