`“Ah！that’sbecauseyouthinkyourselfmorefittodie！”
　　`Therewasapainfulpause。Hewasevidentlyplungedingloomyreflections，butwhileIponderedforsomethingtosay，thatmightbenefitwithoutalarminghim，Hattersley，whosemindhadbeenpursuingalmostthesamecourse，brokesilencewith，——
　　`“Isay，Huntingdon，Icouldsendforaparson，ofsomesort——Ifyoudidn’tlikethevicar，youknow，youcouldhavehiscurate，orsomebodyelse。”
　　`“No；noneofthemcanbenefitmeifshecan’t。”wastheanswer。Andthetearsgushedfromhiseyesasheearnestlyexclaimed，——“Oh，Helen，ifIhadlistenedtoyou，itneverwouldhavecometothis！AndifIhadheardyoulongago——oh，God！howdifferentitwouldhavebeen！”
　　`“Hearmenow，then，Arthur。”saidI，gentlypressinghishand。
　　`“It’stoolatenow。”saidhedespondently。Andafterthatanotherparoxysmofpaincameon；andthenhismindbegantowander，andwefearedhisdeathwasapproaching；butanopiatewasadministered，hissufferingsbegantoabate，hegraduallybecamemorecomposed，andatlengthsankintoakindofslumber。Hehasbeenquietersince；andnowHattersleyhaslefthim，expressingahopethatheshallfindhimbetterwhenhecallsto-morrow。
　　`“Perhaps，Imayrecover。”hereplied，“whoknows？——thismayhavebeenthecrisis。Whatdoyouthink，Helen？”
　　`Unwillingtodepresshim，IgavethemostcheeringanswerIcould，butstillrecommendedhimtoprepareforthepossibilityofwhatIonlyfearedwasbuttoocertain。ButhewasdeterminedtohopeShortlyafter，herelapsedintoakindofdoze——butnowhegroansagain。
　　`Thereisachange。Suddenlyhecalledmetohisside，withsuchastrange，excitedmannerthatIfearedhewasdelirious——buthewasnot。
　　“Thatwasthecrisis，Helen！”saidhedelightedly。“Ihadaninfernalpainhere——itisquitegonenow；Ineverwassoeasysincethefall。bitegone，byHeaven！”andheclaspedandkissedmyhandintheveryfullnessofhisheart；but，findingIdidnotparticipatehisjoy，hequicklyflungitfromhim，andbitterlycursedmycoldnessandinsensibility。HowcouldIreply？Kneelingbesidehim，Itookhishandandfondlypressedittomylips——forthefirsttimesinceourseparation——andtoldhimaswellastearswouldletmespeak，thatitwasnotthatthatkeptmesilent；
　　itwasthefearthatthissuddencessationofpainwasnotsofavourableasymptomashesupposed。aimmediatelysentforthedoctor。Wearenowanxiouslyawaitinghim：Iwilltellyouwhathesays。Thereisstillthesamefreedomfrompain——thesamedeadnesstoallsensationwherethesufferingwasmostacute。
　　`Myworstfearsarerealized——mortificationhascommenced。Thedoctorhastoldhimthereisnohope——nowordscandescribehisanguish——I
　　canwritenomore。’
　　Thenextwasstillmoredistressinginthetenorofitscontents。Thesuffererwasfastapproachingdissolution——raggedalmosttothevergeofthatawfulchasmhetrembledtocontemplate，fromwhichnoagonyofprayersortearscouldsavehim。Nothingcouldcomforthimnow：Hattersley’sroughattemptsatconsolationwereutterlyinvain。Theworldwasnothingtohim：lifeandallitsinterests，itspettycaresandtransientpleasureswereacruelmockery。Totalkofthepast，wastotorturehimwithvainremorse；torefertothefuture，wastoincreasehisanguish；andyettobesilent，wastoleavehimapreytohisownregretsandapprehensions。
　　Oftenhedweltwithshudderingminutenessonthefateofhisperishingclay——theslow，piece-mealdissolutionalreadyinvadinghisframe；theshroud，thecoffin，thedark，lonelygrave，andallthehorrorsofcorruption。
　　`IfItry，’saidhisafflictedwife，`todiverthimfromthesethings——toraisehisthoughtstohigherthemes，itisnobetter：——“Worseandworse！”hegroans。“Iftherebereallylifebeyondthetomb，andjudgmentafterdeath，howcanIfaceit？”——Icannotdohimanygood；hewillneitherbeenlightened，norroused，norcomfortedbyanythingIsay；andyetheclingstomewithunrelentingpertinacity——withakindofchildishdesperation，asifIcouldsavehimfromthefatehedreads。Hekeepsmenightanddaybesidehim。Heisholdingmylefthandnow，whileIwrite；hehashelditthusforhours：sometimesquietly，withhispalefaceupturnedtomine：sometimesclutchingmyarmwithviolence：——thebigdropsstartingfromhisforehead，atthethoughtsofwhathesees，orthinksheseesbeforehim。IfIwithdrawmyhandforamoment，itdistresseshim：——
　　`“Staywithme，Helen。”hesays；“letmeholdyouso：itseemsasifharmcouldnotreachmewhileyouarehere。Butdeathwillcometiscomingnow——fast，fast！——and——oh，ifIcouldbelievetherewasnothingafter！’
　　“Don’ttrytobelieveit，Arthur；thereisjoyandgloryafter，ifyouwillbuttrytoreachit！”
　　`“What，forme？”hesaid，withsomethinglikealaugh。
　　“Arewenottobejudgedaccordingtothedeedsdoneinthebody？Where’stheuseofaprobationaryexistence，ifamanmayspenditashepleases，justcontrarytoGod’sdecrees，andthengotoHeavenwiththebest——ifthevilestsinnermaywintherewardoftheholiestsaint，bymerelysaying，“Irepent？”
　　“Butifyousincerelyrepent——“
　　“Ican’trepent；Ionlyfear。”
　　`“Youonlyregretthepastforitsconsequencestoyourself？”
　　`“Justso——exceptthatI’msorrytohavewrongedyouNell，becauseyou’resogoodtome。”
　　`“ThinkofthegoodnessofGod，andyoucannotbutbegrievedtohaveoffendedHim。”
　　`“WhatisGod？——IcannotseeHimorhearHim——Godisonlyanidea。”
　　`“GodisInfiniteWisdom，andPower，andGoodness——andLOVE；butifthisideaistoovastforyourhumanfaculties——ifyourmindlosesitselfinitsoverwhelminginfinitude，fixitonHimwhocondescendedtotakeournatureuponHim，whowasraisedtoHeaveneveninHisglorifiedhumanbody，inwhomthefullnessofthegodheadshines。”
　　`Butheonlyshookhisheadandsighed。Then，inanotherparoxysmofshudderinghorror，hetightenedhisgrasponmyhandandarm，andgroaningandlamenting，stillclungtomewiththatwild，desperateearnestnesssoharrowingtomysoul，becauseIknowIcannothelphim。Ididmybesttosoothandcomforthim。
　　“Deathissoterrible。”hecried，“Icannotbearit！Youdon’tknow，Helen——youcan’timaginewhatitis，becauseyouhaven’titbeforeyou；andwhenI’mburied，you’llreturntoyouroldwaysandbeashappyasever，andalltheworldwillgoonjustasbusyandmerryasifIhadneverbeen；whileI
　　Heburstintotears。
　　“Youneedn’tletthatdistressyou。”Isaid；“weshallallfollowyousoonenough。”
　　`“IwishtoGodIcouldtakeyouwithmenow！”heexclaimed，“youshouldpleadforme。”
　　`“Nomancandeliverhisbrother，normakeagreementuntoGodforhim。”Ireplied：“`itcostmoretoredeemtheirsouls’——itcostthebloodofanincarnateGod，perfectandsinlessinHimself，toredeemusfromthebondageoftheevilone；——letHimpleadforyou。”
　　`ButIseemtospeakinvain。Hedoesnotnow，asformerly，laughtheseblessedtruthstoscorn：butstillhecannottrust，orwillnotcomprehendthem。Hecannotlingerlong。Hesuffersdreadfully，andsodothosethatwaituponhim——ButIwillnotharassyouwithfurtherdetails：Ihavesaidenough，Ithink，toconvinceyouthatIdidwelltogoto’-
　　Poor，poorHelen！dreadfulindeedhertrialsmusthavebeen！AndIcoulddonothingtolessenthem——nay，italmostseemedasifIhadbroughtthemuponhermyself，bymyownsecretdesires；andwhetherIlookedatherhusband’ssufferingsorherown，itseemedalmostlikeajudgmentuponmyselfforhavingcherishedsuchawish。
　　Thenextdaybutone，therecameanotherletter。Thattoowasputintomyhandswithoutaremark，andtheseareitscontents：——
　　DEC。5th。
　　Heisgoneatlast。Isatbesidehimallnight，withmyhandfastlockedinhis，watchingthechangesofhisfeaturesandlisteningtohisfailingbreath。Hehadbeensilentalongtime，andIthoughthewouldneverspeakagain，whenhemurmured，faintlybutdistinctly——
　　`Prayforme，Helen！’
　　`Idoprayforyou——veryhourandeveryminute，Arthur；butyoumustprayforyourself。’
　　Hislipsmovedbutemittednosound；——whenhislooksbecameunsettled；
　　and，fromtheincoherenthalf-utteredwordsthatescapedhimfromtimetotime，supposinghimtobenowunconscious，Igentlydisengagedmyhandfromhis，intendingtostealawayforabreathofair，forIwasalmostreadytofaint；butaconvulsivemovementofthefingers，andafaintlywhispered`Don’tleaveme！’immediatelyrecalledme：Itookhishandagain，andheldittillhewasnomor——andthenIfainted；itwasnotgrief；itwasexhaustionthat，tillthen，Ihadbeenenabledsuccessfullytocombat。
　　OhFrederick！nonecanimaginethemiseries，bodilyandmental，ofthatdeathbed！HowcouldIenduretothinkthatthatpoortremblingsoulwashurriedawaytoeverlastingtorment？itwoulddrivememad！ButthankGodIhavehope——notonlyfromavaguedependenceonthepossibilitythatpenitenceandpardonmighthavereachedhimatthelast，butfromtheblessedconfidencethat，throughwhateverpurgingfirestheerringspiritmaybedoomedtopass——whateverfateawaitsit，still，itisnotlost，andGod，whohatethnothingthatHehathmade，willblessitintheend！
　　HisbodywillbeconsignedonThursdaytothatdarkgravehesomuchdreaded；butthecoffinmustbeclosedassoonaspossible。Ifyouwillattendthefuneralcomequickly，forIneedhelp。
　　HELENHUNTINGDON。
　　TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter50CHAPTERLDOUBTSANDDISAPPOINTMENTSOnreadingthis，IhadnoreasontodisguisemyjoyandhopefromFrederickLawrence，forIhadnonetobeashamedof。Ifeltnojoybutthathissisterwasatlengthreleasedfromherafflictive，overwhelmingtoil——nohopebutthatshewouldintimerecoverfromtheeffectsofit，andbesufferedtorestinpeaceandquietness，atleast，fortheremainderofherlife。
　　Iexperiencedapainfulcommiserationforherunhappyhusbandthoughfullyawarethathehadbroughteveryparticleofhissufferingsuponhimself，andbuttoowelldeservedthemall，andaprofoundsympathyforherownafflictions，anddeepanxietyfortheconsequencesofthoseharassingcares，thosedreadfulvigils，thatincessantanddeleteriousconfinementbesidealivingcorps——orIwaspersuadedshehadnothintedhalfthesufferingsshehadhadtoendure。
　　`Youwillgotoher，Lawrence？’saidI，asIputtheletterintohishand。
　　`Yes，immediately。’
　　`That’sright！I’llleaveyou，then，toprepareforyourdeparture。’
　　`I’vedonethat，already，whileyouwerereadingtheletter，andbeforeyoucame；andthecarriageisnowcomingroundtothedoor。’
　　Inlyapprovinghispromptitude，Ibadehimgoodmorning，andwithdrew。
　　Hegavemeasearchingglanceaswepressedeachother’shandsatparting；
　　butwhateverhesoughtinmycountenance，hesawtherenothingbutthemostbecominggravity，itmightbe，mingledwithalittlesternnessinmomentaryresentmentatwhatIsuspectedtobepassinginhismind。
　　HadIforgottenmyownprospects，myardentlove，mypertinacioushopes？Itseemedlikesacrilegetoreverttothemnow，butIhadnotforgottenthem。Itwas，however，withagloomysenseofthedarknessofthoseprospects，thefallacyofthosehopes，andthevanityofthataffection，thatIreflectedonthosethingsasIremountedmyhorseandslowlyjourneyedhomewards。
　　Mrs。Huntingdonwasfreenow；itwasnolongeracrimetothinkofher——Butdidsheeverthinkofme？——notnowcourseitwasnottobeexpected——Butwouldshe，whenthisshockwasover？——Inallthecourseofhercorrespondencewithherbrotherourmutualfriend，assheherselfhadcalledhim，shehadnevermentionedmebutonce——andthatwasfromnecessity。This，alone，affordedstrongpresumptionthatIwasalreadyforgotten；yetthiswasnottheworst：itmighthavebeenhersenseofdutythathadkepthersilent，shemightbeonlytryingtoforget；