Lookathispestiferoussimplifiedspelling。Imaginethecalamityontwosidesoftheoceanwhenhefoistedhissimplifiedspellingonthewholehumanrace。We’vegotitallnowsothatnobodycouldspell……
　　IfMr。Carnegiehadleftspellingalonewewouldn’thavehadanyspotsonthesun，oranySanFranciscoquake，oranybusinessdepression。
　　There，Itrusthefeelsbetternowandthathehasenjoyedmyabusemorethanhedidhiscompliments。AndnowthatIthinkIhavehimsmootheddownandfeelingcomfortableIjustwanttosayonethingmore——thathissimplifiedspellingisallrightenough，but，likechastity，youcancarryittoofar。
　　Ashewasabouttogo，Carnegiecalledhisattentiontothebeautifulsouvenirbronzeandgold—platedgobletsthatstoodateachguest’splate。
　　Carnegiesaid：
　　"TheclubhadthoseespeciallymadeatTiffany’sforthisoccasion。Theycosttendollarsapiece。"
　　Clemenssand："Isthatso？Well，Ionlymeanttotakemyown；butifthat’sthecaseI’llloadmycabwiththem。"
　　Wemadeanattempttoreformonthematterofbilliards。Thecontinuedstrainoflatehourswasdoingneitherofusanyparticulargood。MorethanonceIjourneyedintothecountryononeerrandandanother，mainlyforrest；butacardsayingthathewaslonelyandupset，forlackofhiseveninggames，quicklybroughtmebackagain。Itwasmywishonlytoservehim；itwasaprivilegeandanhonortogivehimhappiness。
　　Billiards，however，wasnothisonlyrecreationjustthen。Hewalkedoutagooddeal，andespeciallyofapleasantSundaymorninghelikedthestrollupFifthAvenue。SometimeswewentashighasCarnegie’s，onNinety—secondStreet，androdehomeontopoftheelectricstage——alwaysoneofMarkTwain’sfavoritediversions。
　　Fromthathighseathelikedtolookdownonthepanoramaofthestreets，andinthatfree，openairhecouldsmokewithoutinterference。Oftener，however，weturnedatFifty—ninthStreet，walkingbothways。
　　WhenitwaspleasantwesometimessatonabenchinCentralPark；andoncehemusthaveleftahandkerchiefthere，forafewdayslateroneofhishandkerchiefscametohimaccompaniedbyanote。Itsfinder，aMr。
　　Lockwood，receivedareward，forMarkTwainwrotehim：
　　Thereismorerejoicinginthishouseoverthatonehandkerchiefthatwaslostandisfoundagainthanovertheninetyandninethatneverwenttothewashatall。Heavenwillrewardyou，Iknowitwill。
　　OnSundaymorningsthereturnwalkwouldbetimedforaboutthehourthatthechurcheswouldbedismissed。OnthefirstSundaymorningwehadstartedalittleearly，andIthoughtlesslysuggested，whenwereachedFifty—ninthStreet，thatifwereturnedatoncewewouldavoidthethrong。Hesaid，quietly：
　　"Ilikethethrong。"
　　SowerestedinthePlazaHoteluntiltheappointedhour。Menandwomennoticedhim，andcameovertoshakehishand。Thegiganticmaninuniform；inchargeofthecarriagesatthedoor，cameinforaword。HehadopenedcarriagesforMr。ClemensattheTwenty—thirdStreetstation，andnowwantedtoclaimthathonor。Ithinkhereceivedthemostcordialwelcomeofanyonewhocame。Iamsurehedid。ItwasMarkTwain’swaytowarmtothemanofthelowersocialrank。Hewasnevertoobusy，nevertoopreoccupied，tograspthehandofsuchaman；tolistentohisstory，andtosayjustthewordsthatwouldmakethatmanhappyrememberingthem。
　　WeleftthePlazaHotelandpresentlywereamidthethrongofoutpouringcongregations。Ofcoursehewastheobjectonwhicheverypassingeyeturned；thepresencetowhicheveryhatwaslifted。Irealizedthatthisopenandeagerlypaidhomageofthemultitudewasstilldeartohim，notinanysmallandpettyway，butasthetributeofanation，theexpressionofthataffectionwhichinhisLondonandLiverpoolspeecheshehaddeclaredtobethelastandfinalandmostpreciousrewardthatanymancanwin，whetherbycharacterorachievement。Itwashisfinalharvest，andhehadthecouragetoclaimit——theaftermathofallhisyearsofhonorablelaborandnobleliving。
　　CCLXII
　　FROMMARKTWAIN’sMAIL
　　Ifthereaderhasanycuriosityastosomeofthelessusualletterswhichamanofwidepublicnotemayinspire，perhapshewillfindacertaininterestinafewselectedfromthethousandswhichyearlycametoMarkTwain。
　　Foronething，hewasconstantlyreceivingprescriptionsandremedieswheneverthepapersreportedoneofhisbronchialorrheumaticattacks。
　　Itishardlynecessarytoquoteexamplesofthese，butonlyaformofhisoccasionalreply，whichwaslikelytobeinthiswise：
　　DEARSIR[orMADAM]，——Itryeveryremedysenttome。IamnowonNo。87。Yoursis2，653。Iamlookingforwardtoitsbeneficialresults。
　　Ofcoursealargenumberofthenostrumsandpalliativesofferedwerepreparationsmadebythewildestandlongest—hairedmedicalcranks。OneofthesesentanadvertisementofacertainElixirofLife，whichwasguaranteedtocureeverything——to"washandcleansethehumanmolecules，andsorestoreyouthandpreservelifeeverlasting。"
　　Anonymouslettersarenotusuallypopularortobeencouraged，butMarkTwainhadanespecialweaknessforcomplimentsthatcameinthatway。
　　Theywerenotmercenarycompliments。Thewriterhadnothingtogain。
　　Twosuchlettersfollow——bothwritteninEnglandjustatthetimeofhisreturn。
　　MARKTWAIN。
　　DEARSIR，——Pleaseacceptapoorwidow’sgood—byandkindestwishes。
　　Ihavehadsomeofyourbookssenttome；haveenjoyedthemverymuch——onlywishIcouldaffordtobuysome。
　　Ishouldverymuchliketohaveseenyou。IhavemanyphotosofyouwhichIhavecutfromseveralpaperswhichIread。Ihaveonewhereyouarewritinginbed，whichIcutfromtheDailyNews。Likemyself，youbelieveinlotsofsleepandrest。Iam70andIfindI
　　needplenty。PleaseforgivethelibertyIhavetakeninwritingtoyou。IfIcan’tcometoyourfuneralmaywemeetbeyondtheriver。
　　MayGodguardyou，isthewishofalonelyoldwidow。
　　Yourssincerely，Theotherletteralsotellsitsownstory：
　　DEAR，KINDMARKTWAIN，——ForyearsIhavewantedtowriteandthankyouforthecomfortyouweretomeonce，onlyIneverquiteknewwhereyouwere，andbesidesIdidnotwanttobotheryou；butto—dayIwastoldbysomeonewhosawyougoingintotheliftattheSavoythatyoulookedsadandIthoughtitmightcheeryoualittletinybittohearhowyoukeptapoorlonelygirlfromruininghereyeswithcryingeverynightforlongmonths。
　　TenyearsagoIhadtoleavehomeandearnmylivingasagovernessandFatesentmetospendawinterwithaverydulloldcountryfamilyinthedepthsofStaffordshire。AccordingtothegenialEnglishcustom，aftermyfivechargeshadgonetobed，Itookmyeveningmealaloneintheschool—room，where"HenryTudorhadsuppedthenightbeforeBosworth，"andthereIhadtostaywithoutasoultospeaktotillIwenttobed。AtfirstIusedtocryeverynight，butafriendsentmeacopyofyourHuckleberryFinnandInevercriedanymore。Ikepthimhandyunderthecopy—booksandmaps，andwhenHenryTudorcommencedtostretchouthischillyhandstowardmeIgrabbedmydearHuckandheneveroncefailedme；IopenedhimatrandomandintwominutesIwasinanotherworld。That’swhyIamsogratefultoyouandsofondofyou，andIthoughtyoumightliketoknow；foritisyourselfthathasthekindheart，asiseasilyseenfromthewayyouwroteaboutthepooroldnigger。Iamastenographernowandliveathome，butIshallneverforgethowyouhelpedme。Godblessyouandspareyoulongtothoseyouaredearto。
　　AletterwhichcametohimsoonafterhisreturnfromEnglandcontainedaclippingwhichreportedthegoodworkdonebyChristianmissionariesintheCongo，especiallyamongnativesafflictedbytheterriblesleepingsickness。Theletteritselfconsistedmerelyofaline，whichsaid：
　　Won’tyougiveyourfriends，themissionaries，agoodmarkforthis？
　　Thewriter’snamewassigned，andMarkTwainanswered：
　　InChinathemissionariesarenotwanted，&sotheyoughttobedecent&goaway。ButIhavenotheardthatintheCongothemissionaryservantsofGodareunwelcometothenative。
　　Evidentlythosemissionariesaxepitying，compassionate，kind。HowitwouldimproveGodtotakealessonfromthem！Heinvented&
　　distributedthegermofthatawfuldiseaseamongthosehelpless，poorsavages，&nowHesitswithHiselbowsonthebalusters&looksdown&enjoysthiswantoncrime。Confidently，&betweenyou&me—
　　well，nevermind，ImightgetstruckbylightningifIsaidit。
　　Thosearegoodandkindlymen，thosemissionaries，buttheyareameasurelesssatireupontheirMaster。
　　Towhichthewriteranswered：
　　OwickedMr。Clemens！IhavetoaskSaintJoanofArctoprayforyou；thenoneofthesedays，whenweallstandbeforetheGoldenGatesandwenolonger"seethroughaglassdarklyandknowonlyinpart，"therewillbeastruggleattheheavenlyportalsbetweenJoanofArcandSt。Peter，butyourblessedJoanwillconquerandshe’llleadMr。Clemensthroughthegatesofpearlandapologizeandpleadforhim。
　　Ofthelettersthatirritatedhim，perhapsthefollowingisasfairasampleasany，andithasadditionalinterestinitssequel。
　　DEARSIR，——Ihavewrittenabook——naturally——whichfact，however，sinceIamnotyourenemy，needgiveyounooccasiontorejoice。
　　Norneedyougrieve，thoughIamsendingyouacopy。IfIknewofanywayofcompellingyoutoreaditIwoulddoso，butunlessthefirstfewpageshavethateffectIcandonothing。Trythefirstfewpages。Ihavedoneagreatdealmorethanthatwithyourbooks，soperhapsyouowemesomething——saytenpages。IfafterthatattemptyouputitasideIshallbesorry——foryou。
　　Iamafraidthattheabovelooksflippant——butthinkofthetwitteringsofthesoulofhimwhobringsinhishandanunbiddenbook，writtenbyhimself。Tosuchaonemuchisdueinthewayofindulgence。Willyourememberthat？Haveyouforgottenearlytwitteringsofyourown？
　　InamemorandummadeonthisletterMarkTwainwrote：
　　Anotheroneofthosepeculiarlydepressingletters——alettercastinartificiallyhumorousform，whilstnoartcouldmakethesubjecthumorous——tome。
　　Commentingfurther，hesaid：
　　AsIhaveremarkedbeforeaboutonethousandtimesthecoatofarmsofthehumanraceoughttoconsistofamanwithanaxonhisshoulderproceedingtowardagrindstone，oritoughttorepresenttheseveralmembersofthehumanraceholdingoutthehattooneanother；forweareallbeggars，eachinhisownway。Onebeggaristooproudtobegforpennies，butwillbegforanintroductionintosociety；anotherdoesnotcareforsociety，buthewantsapostmastership；anotherwillinveiglealawyerintoconversationandthenspongeonhimforfreeadvice。Themanwhowouldn’tdoanyofthesethingswillbegforthePresidency。Eachadmireshisowndignityandgreatlyguardsit，butinhisopiniontheothershaven’tany。
　　Mendicancyisamatteroftasteandtemperament，nodoubt，butnohumanbeingiswithoutsomeformofit。Iknowmyownform，youknowyours。Letusconcealthemfromviewandabusetheothers。
　　Thereisnomansopoorbutwhatatintervalssomemancomestohimwithanaxtogrind。Byandbytheax’saspectbecomesfamiliartotheproprietorofthegrindstone。Heperceivesthatitisthesameoldax。Ifyouareagovernoryouknowthatthestrangerwantsanoffice。Thefirsttimehearrivesyouaredeceived；hepoursoutsuchnoblepraisesofyouandyourpoliticalrecordthatyouaremovedtotears；there’salumpinyourthroatandyouarethankfulthatyouhavelivedforthishappiness。Thenthestrangerdiscloseshisax，andyouareashamedofyourselfandyourrace。Sixrepetitionswillcureyou。Afterthatyouinterruptthecomplimentsandsay，"Yes，yes，that’sallright；nevermindaboutthat。Whatisityouwant？"
　　ButyouandIareinthebusinessourselves。Everynowandthenwecarryouraxtosomebodyandaskawhet。Idon’tcarryminetostrangers——Idrawthelinethere；perhapsthatisyourway。Thisisboundtosetusuponahighandholypinnacleandmakeuslookdownincoldrebukeonpersonswhocarrytheiraxestostrangers。
　　Idonotknowhowtoanswerthatstranger’sletter。Iwishhehadsparedme。Nevermindabouthim——Iamthinkingaboutmyself。I
　　wishhehadsparedme。Thebookhasnotarrivedyet；butnomatter，Iamprejudicedagainstit。
　　Itwasafewdayslaterthatheadded：
　　Iwrotetothatman。IfellbackupontheoldOverworked，politelie，andthankedhimforhisbookandsaidIwaspromisingmyselfthepleasureofreadingit。Ofcoursethatsetmefree；Iwasnotobligedtoreaditnowatall，and，beingfree，myprejudicewasgone，andassoonasthebookcameIopenedittoseewhatitwaslike。IwasnotabletoputitdownuntilIhadfinished。Itwasanembarrassingthingtohavetowritetothatmanandconfessthatfact，butIhadtodoit。Thatfirstletterwasmerelyalie。DoyouthinkIwrotethesecondonetogivethatmanpleasure？Well，I
　　did，butitwassecond—handpleasure。Iwroteitfirsttogivemyselfcomfort，tomakemyselfforgettheoriginallie。
　　MarkTwain’sinterestwasoncearousedbythefollowing：
　　DEARSIR，——Ihavehadmoreorlessofyourworksonmyshelvesforyears，andbelieveIhavepracticallyacompletesetnow。Thisisnothingunusual，ofcourse，butIpresumeitwillseemtoyouunusualforanyonetokeepbooksconstantlyinsightwhichtheownerregretseverhavingread。
　　EverytimemyglancerestsonthebooksIdoregrethavingreadthem，anddonothesitatetotellyousotoyourface，andcarenotwhomayknowmyfeelings。You，whomustbekeptbusyattendingtoyourcorrespondence，willprobablypaylittleornoattentiontothissmallfractionofit，yetmyreasons，Ibelieve，aresoundandareprobablysharedbymorepeoplethanyouareawareof。
　　Probablyyouwillnotreadfarenoughthroughthistoseewhohassignedit，butifyoudo，andcaretoknowwhyIwishIhadleftyourworkunread，Iwilltellyouasbrieflyaspossibleifyouwillaskme。
　　GEORGEB。LAUDER。
　　Clemensdidnotanswertheletter，butputitinhispocket，perhapsintendingtodoso，andafewdayslater，inBoston，whenareportercalled，hehappenedtorememberit。Thereporteraskedpermissiontoprintthequeerdocument，anditappearedinhisMarkTwaininterviewnextmorning。Afewdayslaterthewriterofitsentasecondletter，thistimeexplaining：
　　MYDEARSIR，——Isawinto—day’spaperacopyoftheletterwhichI
　　wroteyouOctober26th。
　　Ihavereadandre—readyourworksuntilIcanalmostrecallsomeofthemwordforword。MyfamiliaritywiththemisaconstantsourceofpleasurewhichIwouldnothavemissed，andthereforetheregretwhichIhaveexpressedismorethanoffsetbythankfulness。
　　Believeme，theregretwhichIfeelforhavingreadyourworksisentirelyduetotheunalterablefactthatIcanneveragainhavethepleasureofreadingthemforthefirsttime。
　　Yoursincereadmirer，GEORGEB。LADDER。
　　MarkTwainpromptlyrepliedthistime：
　　DEARSIR，Youfooledmecompletely；Ididn’tdivinewhattheletterwasconcealing，neitherdidthenewspapermen，soyouareaverycompetentdeceiver。
　　Trulyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。
　　Itwasabouttheendof1907thatthenewSt。LouisHarborboat，wascompleted。TheeditoroftheSt。LouisRepublicreportedthatithasbeenchristened"MarkTwain，"andaskedforawordofcomment。Clemenssentthisline：
　　Maymynamesakefollowinmyrighteousfootsteps，thenneitherofuswillneedanyfireinsurance。
　　CCLXIII
　　SOMELITERARYLUNCHEONS
　　Howells，inhisbook，referstotheHumanRaceLuncheonClub，whichClemensonceorganizedfortheparticularpurposeofdamningthespeciesinconcert。Itwastoconsist，besideClemenshimself，ofHowells，ColonelHarvey，andPeterDunne；butitsomehowneverhappenedthateventhissmallmembershipcouldbeassembledwhiletheideawasstillfresh，andthereforepotent。
　　Outofit，however，grewanumberofthoseprivatesocialgatheringswhichClemenssodearlyloved——smallluncheonsanddinnersgivenathisowntable。Thefirstofthesecamealongtowardtheendof1907，whenHowellswasplanningtospendthewinterinItaly。
　　"Howellsisgoingaway，"hesaid，"andIshouldliketogivehimastag—
　　party。We’llenlargetheHumanRaceClubfortheoccasion。"
　　SoHowells，ColonelHarvey，MartinLittleton，AugustusThomas，RobertPorter，andPaderewskiwereinvited。Paderewskiwasunabletocome，andseveninallassembled。
　　Howellswasfirsttoarrive。
　　"HerecomesHowells，"Clemenssaid。"OldHowellsathousandyearsold。"
　　ButHowellsdidn’tlookit。Hisfacewasfullofgood—natureandapparenthealth，andhewasbynomeansvenerable，eitherinspeechoraction。Thomas，Porter，Littleton，andHarveydriftedin。Cocktailswereservedandluncheonwasannounced。
　　Claude，thebutler，hadpreparedthetablewithfineartistry——itscenteramassofroses。Therewastobenowomanintheneighborhood——Clemensannouncedthisfactasasortofwarrantforgeneralfreedomofexpression。
　　Thomas’splay，"TheWitchingHour，"wasthenattheheightofitsgreatacceptance，andthetalknaturallybeganthere。Thomastoldsomethingofthedifficultywhichhefoundinbeingabletoconvinceamanagerthatitwouldsucceed，anddeclaredittobehisownfavoritework。Ibelievetherewasnodissentingopinionastoitsartisticvalue，orconcerningitspurposeandpsychology，thoughthesehadbeenthestumbling—blocksfromamanagerialpointofview。
　　Whenthesubjectwasconcluded，andtherehadcomealull，ColonelHarvey，whowasseatedatClemens’sleft，said：
　　"UncleMark"——heoftencalledhimthat——"MajorLeighhandedmeareportoftheyear’ssalesjustasIwasleaving。Itshowsyourroyaltyreturnsthisyeartobeveryclosetofiftythousanddollars。Idon’tbelievethereisanothersuchreturnfromoldbooksonrecord。"
　　Thiswassaidinanundertone，toClemensonly，butwasoverheardbyoneortwoofthosewhosatnearest。Clemenswasnotunwillingtorepeatitforthebenefitofall，anddidso。Howellssaid：
　　"Astatementlikethatarousesmybasestpassions。Thebooksarenogood；it’sjusttheadvertisingtheyget。"
　　Clemenssaid："Yes，mycontractcompelsthepublishertoadvertise。Itcoststhemtwohundreddollarseverytimetheyleavetheadvertisementoutofthemagazines。"
　　"Andthreehundredeverytimeweputitin，"saidHarvey。"Weoftendebatewhetheritismoreprofitabletoputintheadvertisementortoleaveitout。"
　　Thetalkswitchedbacktoplaysandacting。ThomasrecalledanincidentofBeerbohmTree’sperformanceof"Hamlet。"W。S。Gilbert，oflight—
　　operacelebrity，waspresentataperformance，andwhentheplayendedMrs。Treehurriedovertohimandsaid：
　　"Oh，Mr。Gilbert，whatdidyouthinkofMr。Tree’srenditionofHamlet？"
　　"Remarkable，"saidGilbert。"Funnywithoutbeingvulgar。"
　　Itwaswithsuchidletalesandtalk—playthattheafternoonpassed。Notmuchofitallislefttome，butIrememberHowellssaying，"Diditeveroccurtoyouthatthenewspapersabolishedhell？Well，theydid——itwasneverdonebythechurch。Therewasaconsensusofnewspaperopinionthattheoldhellwithitslakeoffireandbrimstonewasanantiquatedinstitution；infactadeadletter。"Andagain，"IwascomingdownBroadwaylastnight，andIstoppedtolookatoneofthestreet—venderssellingthoselittletoyfightingroosters。Itwasableak，desolateevening；nobodywasbuyinganything，andashepulledthestringandkeptthoselittleroostersdancingandfightinghisremarksgrewmoreandmorecheerlessandsardonic。
　　"’Japanesegamechickens，’hesaid；’prettytoys，amusethechildrenwiththeirantics。Childofthreecanoperateit。TakethemhomeforChristmas。Chicken—fightatyourownfireside。’ItriedtocatchhiseyetoshowhimthatIunderstoodhisdesolationandsorrow，butitwasnouse。Hewentondancinghistoychickens，andsaying，overandover，’Chicken—fightatyourownfireside。’"
　　Theluncheonover，wewanderedbackintothedrawing—room，andpresentlyallleftbutColonelHarvey。ClemensandtheColonelwentuptothebilliard—roomandengagedinagameofcushioncaroms，attwenty—fivecentsagame。Iwasumpireandstakeholder，anditwasamostinterestingoccupation，fortheserieswascloseandaverycheerfulone。
　　ItendedthedaymuchtoMarkTwain’ssatisfaction，forhewasoftenestwinner。Thateveninghesaid：
　　"Wewillrepeatthatluncheon；weoughttorepeatitonceamonth。
　　Howellswillbegone，butwemusthavetheothers。Wecannothaveathinglikethattoooften。"
　　Therewas，infact，asecondstag—luncheonverysoonafter，atwhichGeorgeRiggswaspresentandthatrareIrishmusician，DenisO’Sullivan。
　　Itwasanotherchoiceafternoon，withamysticalqualitywhichcameofthemusicmadebyO’SullivanonsomeHindureeds—pipesofPan。ButweshallhavemoreofO’Sullivanpresently——alltoolittle，forhisdayswerefewandfleeting。
　　Howellscouldnotgetawayjustyet。ColonelHarvey，who，likeJamesOsgood，wouldnotfailtofindexcuseforentertainment，charteredtwodrawing—roomcars，andwithMrs。Harveytookapartyoffifty—fiveorsixtycongenialmenandwomentoLakewoodforagood—byluncheontoHowells。ItwasadayborrowedfromJune，warmandbeautiful。
　　Thetripdownwasasortofreception。Mostoftheguestswereacquainted，butmanyofthemdidnotoftenmeet。Therewasconstantvisitingbackandforththefulllengthofthetwocoaches。DenisO’Sullivanwasamongtheguests。Helookedinthebloomofhealth，andhehadhispipesandplayedhismysticairs；thenhebroughtoutthetin—
　　whistleofIreland，andblewsuchrollickingmelodiesascaperingfairiesinventedalongtimeago。Thiswasonthetraingoingdown。
　　Therewasabriefprogramfollowingthelight—heartedfeasting——aninformalprogramfittingtothatsunnyday。ItopenedwithsomerecitationsbyMissKittyCheatham；thenColonelHarveyintroducedHowells，withmentionofhiscomingjourney。Asarule，Howellsdoesnotenjoyspeaking。Heiswillingtoreadanaddressonoccasion，buthehasownedthattheprospectoftalkingwithouthisnotesterrifieshim。Thistime，however，therewasnoreluctance，thoughhehadpreparednospeech。
　　Hewasamongfriends。Helookedevenhappywhenhegotonhisfeet，andhespokelikeahappyman。HetalkedaboutMarkTwain。Itwasalldelicate，deliciouschaffingwhichshowedHowellsathisverybest——alltooshortforhislisteners。
　　Clemens，replying，returnedthechaff，andrambledamusinglyamonghisfancies，closingwithafewbeautifulwordsof"Godspeedandsafereturn"
　　tohisoldcomradeandfriend。
　　ThenoncemorecameDenisandhispipes。Noonewilleverforgethispartoftheprogram。ThelittlesampleswehadheardonthetrainwereexpandedandmultipliedandelaboratedinawaythatfairlyswepthislistenersoutofthemselvesintothatlandwhereperhapsDenishimselfwandersplayingnow；foramonthlater，strongandlustyandbeautifulasheseemedthatday，hesuddenlyvanishedfromamongusandhisreedsweresilent。ItneveroccurredtousthenthatDeniscoulddie；andashefinishedeachmelodyandsongtherewasashoutforarepetition，andI
　　thinkwecouldhavesatthereandletthedaysandyearsslipawayunheeded，fortimeisbanishedbymusiclikethat，andonewondersifitmightnotevendivertdeath。
　　Itwasdarkwhenwecrossedtheriverhomeward；themyriadlightsfromheaven—climbingwindowsmadeanenchantedcityinthesky。Theevening，liketheday，waswarm，andsomeoftheparty。lefttheferry—cabintoleanoverandwatchthemagicspectacle，thelikeofwhichisnottobefoundelsewhereontheearth。
　　CCLXIV
　　"CAPTAINSTORMFIELD"INPRINT
　　Duringthefortyyearsorsothathadelapsedsincethepublicationofthe"GatesAjar"andtheperpetrationofMarkTwain’sintendedburlesque，builtonCaptainNedWakeman’sdream，theChristianreligioninitsmoreorthodoxaspectshadundergonesomelargemodifications。Itwasnolongerregardedasdangeroustospeaklightlyofhell，oreventosuggestthatthegoldenstreetsandjeweledarchitectureoftheskymightberegardedassymbolsofhoperatherthanexhibitsofactualbullionandlapidaryconstruction。Clemensre—readhisextravaganza，CaptainStoymfieldsVisittoHeaven，gaveitamodernizingtouchhereandthere，andhandedittohispublishers，whomusthaveagreedthatitwasnolongerdangerous，foritwaspromptlyacceptedandappearedintheDecemberandJanuarynumbers1907—8ofHarper’sMagazine，andwasalsoissuedasasmallbook。Iftherewereanyreaderswhostillfounditblasphemous，orevenirreverent，theydidnotsayso；thelettersthatcame——andtheywereagoodmany——expressedenjoymentandapproval，alsosomeofthemagooddealofsatisfactionthatMarkTwain"hadreturnedtohisearlierform。"
　　ThepublicationofthisstoryrecalledtoClemens’smindanotherheresysomewhatsimilarwhichhehadwrittenduringthewinterof1891and1892
　　inBerlin。Thiswasadreamofhisown，inwhichhehadsetoutonatrainwiththeevangelistSamJonesandtheArchbishopofCanterburyfortheotherworld。HehadnoticedthathisticketwastoadifferentdestinationthantheArchbishop’s，andso，whentheprelatenoddedandfinallywenttosleep，hechangedtheticketsintheirhatswithdisturbingresults。Clemensthoughtagooddealofthisfancywhenhewroteit，andwhenMrs。ClemenshadrefusedtoallowittobeprintedhehadlaboriouslytranslateditintoGerman，withsomeideaofpublishingitsurreptitiously；buthisconsciencehadbeentoomuchforhim。Hehadconfessed，andeventheGermanversionhadbeensuppressed。
　　Clemensoftenallowedhisfancytoplaywiththeideaoftheorthodoxheaven，itscuriositiesofarchitecture，anditsemploymentsofcontinuousprayer，psalm—singing，andharpistry。
　　"Whatachildishnotionitwas，"hesaid，"andhowcuriousthatonlyalittlewhileagohumanbeingsweresowillingtoacceptsuchfragileevidencesaboutaplaceofsomuchimportance。Ifweshouldfindsomewhereto—dayanancientbookcontaininganaccountofabeautifulandbloomingtropicalParadisesecretedinthecenterofeternalicebergs——anaccountwrittenbymenwhodidnotevenclaimtohaveseenitthemselves——nogeographicalsocietyonearthwouldtakeanystockinthatbook，yetthataccountwouldbequiteasauthenticasanywehaveofheaven。IfGodhassuchaplacepreparedforus，andreallywantedustoknowit，Hecouldhavefoundsomebetterwaythanabooksoliabletoalterationsandmisinterpretation。Godhashadnotroubletoprovetomanthelawsoftheconstellationsandtheconstructionoftheworld，andsuchthingsasthat，noneofwhichagreewithHisso—calledbook。Astoahereafter，wehavenottheslightestevidencethatthereisany——noevidencethatappealstologicandreason。Ihaveneverseenwhattomeseemedanatomofproofthatthereisafuturelife。"
　　Then，afteralongpause，headded：
　　"Andyet——Iamstronglyinclinedtoexpectone。"
　　CCLXV
　　LOTOSCLUBHONORS
　　ItwasonJanuary11，1908，thatMarkTwainwasgivenhislastgreatbanquetbytheLotosClub。Theclubwasabouttomoveagain，intosplendidnewquarters，anditwishedtoentertainhimoncemoreinitsoldrooms。
　　Heworewhite，andamidthethrongofblack—cladmenwaslikeawhitemothamongahordeofbeetles。Theroomfairlyswarmedwiththem，andtheyseemedlikelytooverwhelmhim。
　　PresidentLawrencewastoast—masteroftheevening，andheendedhiscustomaryaddressbyintroducingRobertPorter，whohadbeenMarkTwain’shostatOxford。PortertoldsomethingofthegreatOxfordweek，andendedbyintroducingMarkTwain。IthadbeenexpectedthatClemenswouldtellofhisLondonexperiences。Insteadofdoingthis，hesaidhehadstartedanewkindofcollection，acollectionofcompliments。Hehadpickedupanumberofvaluableonesabroadandsomeathome。Hereadselectionsfromthem，andkeptthecompanygoingwithcheersandmerrimentuntiljustbeforethecloseofhisspeech。Thenherepeated，inhismostimpressivemanner，thatstatelyconclusionofhisLiverpoolspeech，andtheroombecamestillandtheeyesofhishearersgrewdim。
　　Itmayhavebeenevenmoremovingthanwhenoriginallygiven，fornowtheclosingwords，"homewardbound，"hadonlythedeepermeaning。
　　Dr。JohnMacArthurfollowedwithaspeechthatwasasgoodasermonasanyheeverdelivered，andcloseditbysaying：
　　"Idonotwantmentoprepareforheaven，buttopreparetoremainonearth，anditissuchmenasMarkTwainwhomakeothermennotfittodie，butfittolive。"
　　AndrewCarnegiealsospoke，andColonelHarvey，andasthespeakingendedRobertPortersteppedupbehindClemensandthrewoverhisshouldersthescarletOxfordrobewhichhadbeensurreptitiouslybrought，andplacedthemortar—boardcapuponhishead，whilethedinersvociferatedtheirapproval。Clemenswasquitecalm。
　　"Ilikethis，"hesaid，whenthenoisehadsubsided。"Ilikeitssplendidcolor。Iwoulddressthatwayallthetime，ifIdared。"
　　InthecabgoinghomeImentionedthesuccessofhisspeech，howwellithadbeenreceived。
　　"Yes，"hesaid；"butthenIhavetheadvantageofknowingnowthatIamlikelytobefavorablyreceived，whateverIsay。Iknowthatmyaudiencesarewarmandresponseful。Itisanimmenseadvantagetofeelthat。Therearecoldplacesinalmosteveryspeech，andifyouraudiencenoticesthemandbecomescool，yougetachillyourselfinthosezones，anditishardtowarmupagain。Perhapstherehaven’tbeensomanylately；butIhavebeenacquaintedwiththemmorethanonce。"AndthenI
　　couldnothelprememberingthatdeadlyWhittierbirthdayspeechofmorethanthirtyyearsbefore——thatbleak，arcticexperiencefrombeginningtoend。
　　"Wehavejusttimeforfourgames，"hesaid，aswereachedthebilliard—
　　room；buttherewasnosignofstoppingwhenthefourgameswereover。
　　Wewerewinningalternately，andneithernotedthetime。Iwasleavingbyanearlytrain，andwaswillingtoplayallnight。Themilk—wagonswererattlingoutsidewhenhesaid：
　　"Well，perhapswe’dbetterquitnow。Itseemsprettyearly，though。"I
　　lookedatmywatch。Itwasquartertofour，andwesaidgoodnight。
　　CCLXVI
　　AWINTERINBERMUDA
　　EdmundClarenceStedmandiedsuddenlyathisdesk，January18，1908，andClemens，inresponsetotelegrams，sentthismessage：
　　Idonotwishtotalkaboutit。Hewasavaluedfriendfromdaysthatdatebackthirty—fiveyears。Hislossstunsmeandunfitsmetospeak。
　　HerecalledtheNewEnglanddinnerswhichheusedtoattend，andwherehehadoftenmetStedman。
　　"Thoseweregreataffairs，"hesaid。"Theybeganearly，andtheyendedearly。IusedtogodownfromHartfordwiththefeelingthatitwasn’tanall—nightsupper，andthatitwasgoingtobeanenjoyabletime。
　　ChoateandDepewandStedmanwereintheirprimethen——wewereallyoungmentogether。Theirspeecheswerealwaysworthlisteningto。Stedmanwasaprominentfigurethere。Theredon’tseemtobeanysuchmennow——
　　oranysuchoccasions。"
　　Stedmanwasoneofthelastoftheoldliterarygroup。Aldrichhaddiedtheyearbefore。HowellsandClemenswerethelingering"lastleaves。"
　　Clemensgavesomefurtherluncheonentertainmentstohisfriends，andaddedthefeatureof"doe"luncheons——prettyaffairswhere，withClaraClemensashostess，wereentertainedagroupofbrilliantwomen，suchasMrs。KateDouglasRiggs，GeraldineFarrax，Mrs。RobertCollier，Mrs。
　　FrankDoubleday，andothers。Icannotreportthoseluncheons，forIwasnotpresent，andthedriftoftheproceedingscametomelaterintoofragmentaryaformtobeusedashistory；butIgatheredfromClemenshimselfthathehaddoneallofthetalking，andIthinktheymusthavebeenverypleasantafternoons。Amongtheacknowledgmentsthatfollowedoneoftheseaffairsisthischaracteristicword—playfromMrs。Riggs：
　　N。B。——Aladywhoisinvitedtoandattendsadoeluncheonis，ofcourse，adoe。Thequestionis，ifsheattendstwodoeluncheonsinsuccessionissheadoe—doe？Ifsoissheextinctandcanneverattendathird？
　　Luncheonsandbilliards，however，failedtogivesufficientbrightnesstothedullwinterdays，ortoinsurehimagainstanimpendingbronchialattack，andtowardtheendofJanuaryhesailedawaytoBermuda，whereskieswerebluerandroadsidesgaywithbloom。Hissojournwasbriefthistime，butlongenoughtocurehim，hesaid，andhecamebackfullofhappiness。Hehadbeendrivingaboutovertheislandwithanewlyadoptedgranddaughter，littleMargaretBlackmer，whomhehadmetonemorninginthehoteldining—room。Apartofhisdictatedstorywillconveyherethisprettyexperience。
　　MyfirstdayinBermudapaidadividend——infactadoubledividend：
　　itbrokethebackofmycoldanditaddedajeweltomycollection。
　　AsIenteredthebreakfast—roomthefirstobjectIsawinthatspaciousandfar—reachingplacewasalittlegirlseatedsolitaryatatablefortwo。Ibentdownoverherandpattedhercheekandsaid：
　　"Idon’tseemtorememberyourname；whatisit？"
　　Bythesparkleinherbrowneyesitamusedher。Shesaid：
　　"Why，you’veneverknownit，Mr。Clemens，becauseyou’veneverseenmebefore。"
　　"Why，thatistrue，nowthatIcometothink；itcertainlyistrue，anditmustbeoneofthereasonswhyIhaveforgottenyourname。
　　ButIrememberitnowperfectly——it’sMary。"
　　Shewasamusedagain；amusedbeyondsmiling；amusedtoachuckle，andshesaid：
　　"Ohno，itisn’t；it’sMargaret。"
　　Ifeignedtobeashamedofmymistakeandsaid：
　　"Ah，well，Icouldn’thavemadethatmistakeafewyearsago；butI
　　amold，andoneofage’searliestinfirmitiesisadamagedmemory；
　　butIamclearernow——clearer—headed——itallcomesbacktomejustasifitwereyesterday。It’sMargaretHolcomb。"
　　Shewassurprisedintoalaughthistime，theripplinglaughthatahappybrookmakeswhenitbreaksoutoftheshadeintothesunshine，andshesaid：
　　"Oh，youarewrongagain；youdon’tgetanythingright。Itisn’tHolcomb，it’sBlackmer。"
　　Iwasashamedagain，andconfessedit；then：
　　"Howoldareyou，dear？"
　　"Twelve；New—Year’s。Twelveandamonth。"
　　Wewereclosecomrades—inseparables，infact—foreightdays。Everydaywemadepedestrianexcursions——calledthemthatanyway，andhonestlytheywereintendedforthat，andthatiswhattheywouldhavebeenbutforthepersistentintrusionofagrayandgraveandrough—coateddonkeybythenameofMaud。Maudwasfourfeetlong；
　　shewasmountedonfourslenderlittlestilts，andhadearsthatdoubledheraltitudewhenshestoodthemupstraight。Hertenderwasalittlebitofacartwithseatroomfortwoinit，andyoucouldfalloutofitwithoutknowingit，itwassoclosetotheground。Thisbatterywasincommandofanice，grave，dignified，gentlefacedlittleblackboywhoseagewasabouttwelve，andwhosename，forsomereasonorother，wasReginald。ReginaldandMaud——I
　　shallnoteasilyforgetthosenames，northecombinationtheystoodfor。Thetripsgoingandcomingwerefiveorsixmiles，anditgenerallytookusthreehourstomakeit。ThiswasbecauseMaudsetthepace。Whenevershedetectedanascendinggradesherespectedit；shestoppedandsaidwithherears：
　　"Thisisgettingunsatisfactory。Wewillcamphere。"
　　ThewholeideaoftheseexcursionswasthatMargaretandIshouldemploythemforthegatheringofstrength，bywalking，yetwewereoftenerinthecartthanoutofit。ShedroveandIsuperintended。
　　InthecourseofthefirstexcursionsIfoundabeautifullittleshellonthebeachatSpanishPoint；itshingewasoldanddry，andthetwohalvescameapartinmyhand。IgaveoneofthemtoMargaretandsaid：
　　"Nowdear，sometimeorotherinthefutureIshallrunacrossyousomewhere，anditmayturnoutthatitisnotyouatall，butwillbesomegirlthatonlyresemblesyou。Ishallbesayingtomyself’IknowthatthisisaMargaretbythelookofher，butIdon’tknowforsurewhetherthisismyMargaretorsomebodyelse’s’；but，nomatter，Icansoonfindout，forIshalltakemyhalfshelloutofmypocketandsay，’IthinkyouaremyMargaret，butIamnotcertain；ifyouaremyMargaretyoucanproducetheotherhalfofthisshell。’"
　　NextmorningwhenIenteredthebreakfast—roomandsawthechildI
　　approachedandscannedhersearchinglyallover，thensaid，sadly：
　　"No，Iammistaken；itlookslikemyMargaret，——butitisn’t，andI
　　amsosorry。Ishallgoawayandcrynow。"
　　Hereyesdancedtriumphantly，andshecriedout：
　　"No，youdon’thaveto。There！"andshefetchedouttheidentifyingshell。
　　Iwasbesidemyselfwithgratitudeandjoyfulsurprise，andrevealeditfromeverypore。Thechildcouldnothaveenjoyedthisthrillinglittledramamoreifwehadbeenplayingitonthestage。Manytimesafterwardsheplayedthechiefpartherself，pretendingtobeindoubtastomyidentityandchallengingmetoproducemyhalfoftheshell。Shewasalwayshopingtocatchmewithoutit，butI
　　alwaysdefeatedthatgame——whereforeshecametorecognizeatlastthatIwasnotonlyold，butverysmart。
　　Sometimes，whentheywerenotwalkingordriving，theysatontheveranda，andhepreparedhistory—lessonsforlittleMargaretbymakinggrotesquefiguresoncardswithnumerouslegsandarmsandotherfantasticsymbolsendfeaturestofixthelengthofsomeking’sreign。
　　ForWilliamtheConqueror，forinstance，whoreignedtwenty—oneyears，hedrewafigureofelevenlegsandtenarms。Itwasthepropermethodofimpressingfactsuponthemindofachild。ItcarriedhimbacktothosedaysatElmirawhenhehadarrangedforhisownlittlegirlsthegameofkings。AMissWallace，afriendofMargaret’s，andusuallyoneofthepedestrianparty，haswrittenadaintybookofthoseBermudiandays。
　　——[MarkTwainandtheHappyIslands，byElizabethWallace。]
　　MissWallacesays：
　　Margaretfeltforhimthedeepaffectionthatchildrenhaveforanolderpersonwhounderstandsthemandtreatsthemwithrespect。Mr。
　　Clemensnevertalkeddowntoher，butconsideredheropinionswithasweetdignity。
　　Thereweresomeprettysequelstotheshellincident。AfterMarkTwainhadreturnedtoNewYork，andMargaretwasthere，shecalledonedaywithhermother，andsentuphercard。Hesentbackword，saying：
　　"Iseemtorememberthename；butifthisisreallythepersonwhomIthinkitisshecanidentifyherselfbyacertainshellIoncegaveher，ofwhichIhavetheotherhalf。Ifthetwohalvesfit，I
　　shallknowthatthisisthesamelittleMargaretthatIremember。"
　　Themessagewentdown，andtheotherhalfoftheshellwaspromptlysentup。MarkTwainhadthetwohalf—shellsincisedfirmlyingold，andoneoftheseheworeonhiswatch—fob，andsenttheothertoMargaret。
　　HeafterwardcorrespondedwithMargaret，andoncewroteher：
　　I’malreadymakingmistakes。WhenIwasinNewYork，sixweeksago，IwasonacornerofFifthAvenueandIsawasmallgirl——notabigone——startacrossfromtheoppositecorner，andIexclaimedtomyselfjoyfully，"ThatiscertainlymyMargaret！"soIrushedtomeether。ButasshecamenearerIbegantodoubt，andsaidtomyself，"It’saMargaret——thatisplainenough——butI’mafraiditissomebodyelse’s。"SowhenIwaspassingherIheldmyshellsoshecouldn’thelpbutseeit。Dear，sheonlyglancedatitandpassedon！Iwonderedifshecouldhaveoverlookedit。Itseemedbesttofindout；soIturnedandfollowedandcaughtupwithher，andsaid，deferentially；"DearMiss，Ialreadyknowyourfirstnamebythelookofyou，butwouldyoumindtellingmeyourotherone？"Shewasvexedandsaidprettysharply，"It’sDouglas，ifyou’resoanxioustoknow。Iknowyournamebyyourlooks，andI’dadviseyoutoshutyourselfupwithyourpenandinkandwritesomemorerubbish。Iamsurprisedthattheyallowyoutorun’atlarge。Youarelikelytogetrunoverbyababy—carriageanytime。Runalongnowanddon’tletthecowsbiteyou。"
　　Whatanidea！Therearen’tanycowsinFifthAvenue。ButIdidn’tsmile；Ididn’tletontoperceivehowunculturedshewas。Shewasfromthecountry，ofcourse，anddidn’tknowwhatacomicalblunder。
　　shewasmaking。
　　Mr。Rogers’shealthwasverypoorthatwinter，andClemensurgedhimtotryBermuda，andofferedtogobackwithhim；sotheysailedawaytothesummerisland，andthoughMargaretwasgone，therewasotherentertainingcompany——othergranddaughterstobeadopted，andnewfriendsandoldfriends，anddiversionsofmanysorts。Mr。Rogers’sson—in—law，WilliamEvartsBenjamin，camedownandjoinedthelittlegroup。ItwasoneofMarkTwain’srealholidays。Mr。Rogers’shealthimprovedrapidly，andMarkTwainwasinfinetrim。ToMrs。Rogers，attheendofthefirstweek，hewrote：
　　DEARMRS。ROGERS，Heisgettingalongsplendidly！Thiswastheveryplaceforhim。Heenjoyshimself&isasquarrelsomeasacat。
　　ButhewillgetabacksetifBenjamingoeshome。Benjaministhebrightestmanintheseregions，&thebestcompany。Bright？Heismuchmorethanthat，heisbrilliant。Hekeepsthecrowdintenselyalive。
　　Withlove&allgoodwishes。
　　S。L。C。
　　MarkTwainandHenryRogersweremuchtogetherandmuchobserved。Theywereoftenreferredtoas"theKing"and"theRajah，"anditwasalwaysaquestionwhetheritwas"theKing"whotookcareof"theRajah，"orviceversa。Therewasgenerallyagrouptogatheraroundthem，andClemenswassureofanattentiveaudience，whetherhewantedtoairhisphilosophies，hisviewsofthehumanrace，ortoreadaloudfromtheversesofKipling。
　　"Iamnotfondofallpoetry，"hewouldsay；"butthere’ssomethinginKiplingthatappealstome。Iguesshe’sjustaboutmylevel。"
　　MissWallacerecallscertainKiplingreadingsinhisroom，whenhisfriendsgatheredtolisten。
　　OnthoseKiplingeveningsthe’mise—en—scene’wasastrikingone。
　　Thebarehotelroom，thepinewoodworkandpinefurniture，loosewindowswhichrattledinthesea—wind。Onceinawhileagustofasthmaticmusicfromthespiritlessorchestradownstairscameupthehallway。Yellow，unprotectedgas—lightsburneduncertainly，andMarkTwaininthemidstofthislayonhisbedtherewasnocouch
　　stillinhiswhitesergesuit，withthelightfromthejetshiningdownonthecrownofhissilverhair，makingitgleamandglistenlikefrostedthreads。
　　Inonehandheheldhisbook，intheotherhehadhispipe，whichheusedprincipallytogesturewithinthemostdramaticpassages。
　　Margaret’ssmallsuccessorsbecametheearliestmembersoftheAngelFishClub，whichClemensconcludedtoorganizeafteravisittothespectacularBermudaaquarium。Theprettyangel—fishsuggestedyouthandfemininebeautytohim，andhisadoptedgranddaughtersbecameangel—fishtohimfromthattimeforward。Heboughtlittleenamelangel—fishpins，andcarriedanumberofthemwithhimmostofthetime，sothathecouldcreatemembershiponshortnotice。Itwasjustanotheroftheharmlessandhappydiversionsofhisgentlerside。Hewasalwaysfondofyouthandfreshness。Heregardedthedecrepitudeofoldageasanunnecessarypartoflife。Oftenhesaid：
　　"IfIhadbeenhelpingtheAlmightywhen，Hecreatedman，IwouldhavehadHimbeginattheotherend，andstarthumanbeingswitholdage。Howmuchbetteritwouldhavebeentostartoldandhaveallthebitternessandblindnessofageinthebeginning！Onewouldnotmindthenifhewerelookingforwardtoajoyfulyouth。Thinkofthejoyousprospectofgrowingyounginsteadofold！Thinkoflookingforwardtoeighteeninsteadofeighty！Yes，theAlmightymadeapoorjobofit。IwishHehadinvitedmyassistance。"
　　Tooneoftheangelfishhewrote，justafterhisreturn：
　　Imissyou，dear。ImissBermuda，too，butnotsomuchasImissyou；foryouwererare，andoccasionalandselect，andLtd。；whereasBermuda’scharmsand，graciousnesseswerefreeandcommonandunrestricted——liketherain，youknow，whichfallsuponthejustandtheunjustalike；athingwhichwouldnothappenifIweresuperintendingtherain’saffairs。No，Iwouldrainsoftlyandsweetlyuponthejust，butwheneverIcaughtasampleoftheunjustoutdoorsIwoulddrownhim。
　　CCLXVII
　　VIEWSANDADDRESSES
　　[AsIambeginningthischapter，April16，1912，thenewscomesoftheloss，onherfirsttrip，ofthegreatWhiteStarLinesteamerTitanic，withthedestructionofmanypassengers，amongwhomareFrankD。Millet，WilliamT。Stead，IsadoreStraus，JohnJacobAstor，andotherdistinguishedmen。Theydiedasheroes，remainingwiththeshipinorderthatthewomenandchildrenmightbesaved。
　　ItwasthekindofdeathFrankMilletwouldhavewishedtodie。
　　Hewasalwaysasoldier——aknight。Hehasappearedfromtimetotimeinthesepages，forhewasadearfriendoftheClemenshousehold。OneofAmerica’sforemostpainters；atthetimeofhisdeathhewasheadoftheAmericanAcademyofArtsinRome。]
　　MarkTwainmadeanumberofaddressesduringthespringof1908。
　　HespokeattheCartoonists’dinner，verysoonafterhisreturnfromBermuda；hespokeattheBooksellers’banquet，expressinghisdebtofobligationtothosewhohadpublishedandsoldhisbooks；hedeliveredafineaddressatthedinnergivenbytheBritishSchoolsandUniversityClubatDelmonico’s，May25th，inhonorofQueenVictoria’sbirthday。
　　InthatspeechhepaidhightributetotheQueenforherattitudetowardAmerica，duringthecrisisoftheCivilWax，andtoherroyalconsort，PrinceAlbert。
　　WhatshedidforusinAmericainourtimeofstormandstressweshallnotforget，andwheneverwecallittomindweshallalwaysgratefullyrememberthewiseandrighteousmindthatguidedherinitandsustainedandsupportedher——PrinceAlbert’s。Weneednottalkanyidletalkhereto—nightabouteitherpossibleorimpossiblewarbetweentwocountries；therewillbenowarwhileweremainsaneandthesonofVictoriaandAlbertsitsuponthethrone。Inconclusion，IbelieveImayjustlyclaimtoutterthevoiceofmycountryinsayingthatweholdhimindeephonor，andalsoincordiallywishinghimalonglifeandahappyreign。
　　ButperhapshismostimpressiveappearancewasatthededicationofthegreatCityCollegeMay14，1908，wherePresidentJohnFinley，whohadbeenstrugglingalongwithinsufficientroom，wastohavespaceatlastforhisfreerandfullereducationalundertakings。Agreatnumberofhonoredscholars，statesmen，anddiplomatsassembledonthecollegecampus，aspaciousopencourtsurroundedbystatelycollegearchitectureofmedievaldesign。Thesedistinguishedguestswerecladintheiracademicrobes，andtheprocessioncouldnothavebeenwidelydifferentfromthatoneatOxfordofayearbefore。Buttherewassomethingratherfearsomeaboutit，too。Akindofscaffoldinghadbeenrearedinthecenterofthecampusfortheceremonies；andwhenthosegravemenintheirrobesofstatestoodgroupeduponitthepicturewasstrikinglysuggestiveofoneofGeorgeCruikshank’sdrawingsofanexecutionsceneattheTowerofLondon。Manyoftherobeswereblack——thesewouldbethepriests——andthefewscarletoneswouldbethecardinalswhomighthaveassembledforsomeroyalmartyrdom。TherewasabrightMaysunlightoveritall，oneofthosestill，coolbrightnesseswhichservedtoheightentheweirdeffect。Iamsurethatothersfeltitbesidesmyself，foreverybodyseemedwordlessandawed，evenattimeswhentherewasnooccasionforsilence。Therewassomethingofanotherageaboutthewholesetting，tosaytheleast。
　　Welefttheplaceinamotor—car，acrowdofboysfollowingafter。AsClemensgotintheygatheredaroundthecarandgavethecollegeyell，endingwith"Twain！Twain！Twain！"andaddedthreecheersforTomSawyer，HuckFinn，andPudd’nheadWilson。Theycalledforaspeech，butheonlysaidafewwordsinapologyfornotgrantingtheirrequest。HemadeaspeechtothemthatnightattheWaldorf——whereheproposedfortheCityCollegeachairofcitizenship，anideawhichmetwithheartyapplause。
　　Inthesameaddresshereferredtothe"GodTrust"mottoonthecoins，andspokeapprovinglyofthePresident’sorderforitsremoval。
　　WedonottrustinGod，intheimportantmattersoflife，andnotevenaministeroftheGospelwilltakeanycoinforacentmorethanitsacceptedvaluebecauseofthatmotto。Ifcholerashouldeverreachtheseshoresweshouldprobablypraytobedeliveredfromtheplague，butwewouldputourmaintrustintheBoardofHealth。
　　Nextmorning，commentingonthereportofthisspeech，hesaid：
　　"IfonlythereporterswouldnottrytoimproveonwhatIsay。Theyseemtomissthefactthattheveryartofsayingathingeffectivelyisinitsdelicacy，andastheycan’treproducethemannerandintonationintypetheymakeitemphaticandclumsyintryingtoconveyittothereader。"
　　Ipleadedthatthereporterswereoftenyoungmen，eager，andunmellowedintheirsenseofliteraryart。
　　"Yes，"heagreed，"theyaresoafraidtheirreaderswon’tseemygoodpointsthattheysetupredflagstomarkthemandbeatagong。Theymeanwell，butIwishtheywouldn’tdoit。"
　　Hereferredtotheportionofhisspeechconcerningthemottoonthecoins。Hehadfreelyexpressedsimilarsentimentsonotherpublicoccasions，andhehadreceivedalettercriticizinghimforsayingthatwedonotreallytrustinGodinanyfinancialmatter。
　　"Iwantedtoanswerit，"hesaid；"butIdestroyedit。Itdidn’tseemworthnoticing。"
　　Iaskedhowthemottohadoriginated。
　　"About1853someidiotinCongresswantedtoannouncetotheworldthatthiswasareligiousnation，andproposedputtingitthere，andnootherCongressmanhadcourageenoughtoopposeit，ofcourse。Ittookcourageinthosedaystodoathinglikethat；butIthinkthesamethingwouldhappento—day。"
　　"Stillthecountryhasbecomebroader。IttookabravemanbeforetheCivilWartoconfesshehadreadthe’AgeofReason’。"
　　"Soitdid，andyetthatseemsamildbooknow。IreaditfirstwhenI
　　wasacubpilot，readitwithfearandhesitation，butmarvelingatitsfearlessnessandwonderfulpower。Ireaditagainayearortwoago，forsomereason，andwasamazedtoseehowtameithadbecome。ItseemedthatPainewasapologizingeverywhereforhurtingthefeelingsofthereader。"
　　Hedrifted，naturally，intoadiscussionoftheKnickerbockerTrustCompany’ssuspension，whichhadtiedupsomefifty—fivethousanddollarsofhiscapital，andwonderedhowmanyweretrustinginGodforthereturnoftheseimperiledsums。Clemenshimself，atthistime，didnotexpecttocomeoutwholefromthatdisaster。Hehadsaidverylittlewhenthenewscame，thoughitmeantthathisimmediatefortuneswerelockedup，anditcamenearstoppingthebuildingactivitiesatRedding。Itwasonlythesmallerthingsoflifethatirritatedhim。Heoftenmetlargecalamitieswithaserenitywhichalmostresembledindifference。IntheKnickerbockersituationheevenfoundhumorastimepassed，andwroteanumberofgayletters，someofwhichfoundtheirwayintoprint。
　　ItshouldbeaddedthatintheendtherewasnolosstoanyoftheKnickerbockerdepositors。
　　CCLXVIII
　　REDDING
　　ThebuildingofthenewhomeatReddinghadbeengoingsteadilyforwardforsomethingmorethanayear。JohnMeadHowellshadmadetheplans；
　　W。W。SunderlandandhissonPhilip，ofDanbury，Connecticut，werethebuilders，andintheabsenceofMissClemens，thenonaconcerttour，MarkTwain’ssecretary，MissI。V。Lyon，hadsuperintendedthefurnishing。
　　"InnocenceatHome，"astheplacewasoriginallynamed，wastobereadyforitsoccupantinJune，witheverydetailinplace，ashedesired。HehadnevervisitedRedding；hehadscarcelyevenglancedattheplansordiscussedanyofthedecorationsofthenewhome。Hehadrequiredonlythatthereshouldbeonegreatliving—roomfortheorchestrelle，andanotherbigroomforthebilliard—table，withplentyofaccommodationsforguests。Hehadrequiredthatthebilliard—roombered，forsomethinginhisnatureansweredtothewarmluxuryofthatcolor，particularlyinmomentsofdiversion。Besides，hisotherbilliard—roomshadbeenred，andsuchassociationmaynotbelightlydisregarded。Hisoneotherrequirementwasthattheplaceshouldbecomplete。
　　"Idon’twanttoseeit，"hesaid，"untilthecatispurringonthehearth。"
　　Howellssays：
　　"Hehadgrownsowearyofchange，andsoindifferenttoit，thathewaswithoutinterest。"
　　Butitwasrather，Ithink，thathewasafraidoflosinginterestbybecomingweariedwithdetailswhichwerelikelytoexasperatehim；also，hewantedthedramaticsurpriseofwalkingintoahomethathadbeenconjuredintoexistenceaswithaword。
　　Itwasexpectedthatthemovewouldbemadeearlyinthemonth；butthereweredelays，anditwasnotuntilthe18thofJunethathetookpossession。
　　Theplan，atthistime，wasonlytousetheReddingplaceasasummerresidence，andtheFifthAvenuehousewasnotdismantled。Afewdaysbeforethe18ththeservants，withoneexception，weretakenuptothenewhouse，ClemensandmyselfremaininginthelonelinessofNo。21，attendingtothelettersinthemorningandplayingbilliardstherestofthetime，waitingfortheappointeddayandtrain。Itwasreallyapleasantthreedays。Heinventedanewgame，andwewereriotousandlaughedasloudlyaswepleased。Ithinkhetalkedverylittleofthenewhomewhichhewassosoontosee。Itwasreferredtonooftenerthanonceortwiceaday，andthenIbelieveonlyinconnectionwithcertainofthebilliard—roomarrangements。Ihavewonderedsincewhatpictureofithecouldhavehadinhismind，forhehadneverseenaphotograph。
　　Hehadageneralideathatitwasbuiltuponahill，andthatitsarchitecturewasoftheItalianvillaorder。IconfessIhadmomentsofanxiety，forIhadselectedthelandforhim，andhadbeenmoreorlessaccessoryotherwise。Ididnotreallyworry，forIknewhowbeautifulandpeacefulitallwas；alsosomethingofhistasteandneeds。
　　Ithadbeenadryspring，andcountryroadsweredusty，sothatthosewhowereresponsiblehadbeenprayingforrain，tobefollowedbyapleasantdayforhisarrival。Bothpetitionsweregranted；June18thwouldfallonThursday，andMondaynighttherecameagood，thorough，andrefreshingshowerthatwashedthevegetationcleanandlaidthedust。Themorningofthe18thwasbrightandsunnyandcool。Clemenswasupandshavedbysixo’clockinordertobeintime，thoughthetraindidnotleaveuntilfourintheafternoon——anexpressnewlytimedtostopatRedding——itsfirsttripscheduledforthedayofMarkTwain’sarrival。
　　Wewerestillplayingbilliardswhenwordwasbroughtupthatthecabwaswaiting。Mydaughter，Louise，whoseschoolonLongIslandhadclosedthatday，waswithus。ClemensworehiswhiteflannelsandaPanamahat，andatthestationagroupquicklycollected，reportersandothers，tointerviewhimandspeedhimtohisnewhome。Hewascordialandtalkative，andquiteevidentlyfullofpleasantanticipation。Areporterortwoandaspecialphotographercamealong，tobepresentathisarrival。
　　Thenew，quicktrain，thegreen，flyinglandscape，withglimpsesoftheSoundandwhitesails，thehillsidesandclearstreamsbecomingrapidlysteeperanddearerasweturnednorthward：allseemedtogratifyhim，andwhenhespokeatallitwasapprovingly。Thehourandahalfrequiredtocoverthesixtymilesofdistanceseemedveryshort。AsthetrainsloweddownfortheReddingstation，hesaid：
　　"We’llleavethisboxofcandy"——hehadboughtalargeboxontheway——
　　"thosecoloredporterssometimeslikecandy，andwecangetsomemore。"
　　Hedrewoutagreathandfulofsilver。
　　"Givethemsomething——giveeverybodyliberallythatdoesanyservice。"
　　Therewasasortofopen—airreceptioninwaiting。Reddinghadrecognizedtheoccasionashistoric。Avariedassemblageofvehiclesfestoonedwithflowershadgatheredtoofferagallantcountrywelcome。
　　Itwasnowalittlebeforesixo’clockofthatlongJuneday，stillanddreamlike；andtothepeopleassembledtheremayhavebeensomethingwhichwasnotquiterealityinthescene。Therewasatendencytobeverystill。Theynodded，wavedtheirhandstohim，smiled，andlookedtheirfill；butaspelllayuponthem，andtheydidnotcheer。Itwouldhavebeenapityiftheyhaddoneso。Anoise，andtheillusionwouldhavebeenshattered。
　　Hiscarriageledawayonthethree—miledrivetothehouseonthehilltop，andthefloralturnoutfellinbehind。Nofirstimpressionofafairlandcouldhavecomeatasweetertime。Hillsidesweregreen，fieldswerewhitewithdaisies，dog—woodandlaurelshoneamongthetrees。Andoverallwasthebluesky，andeverywherethefragranceofJune。
　　Hewasveryquietaswedrovealong。Oncewithgentlehumor，lookingoverawhitedaisyfield，hesaid：
　　"Thatisbuckwheat。IalwaysrecognizebuckwheatwhenIseeit。IwishIknewasmuchaboutotherthingsasIknowaboutbuckwheat。Itseemstobeveryplentifulhere；itevengrowsbytheroadside。"Andalittlelater："ThisisthekindofaroadIlike；agoodcountryroadthroughthewoods。"
　　Thewaterwasflowingoverthemill—damwheretheroadcrossestheSaugatuck，andheexpressedapprovalofthatclear，picturesquelittleriver，oneofthosecharmingConnecticutstreams。Alittlefartheronabrookcascadeddownthehillside，andhecompareditwithsomeofthetinystreamsofSwitzerland，IbelievetheGiessbach。Thelanethatledtothenewhomeopenedjustabove，andasheenteredtheleafywayhesaid，"ThisisjustthekindofalaneIlike，"thuscompletinghisacceptanceofeverythingbutthehouseandthelocation。
　　Thelastoftheprocessionhaddroppedawayattheentranceofthelane，andhewasalonewiththosewhohadmostanxietyforhisverdict。Theyhadnotlongtowait。Asthecarriageascendedhighertotheopenviewhelookedaway，acrosstheSaugatuckValleytothenestlingvillageandchurch—spireandfarm—houses，andtothedistanthills，anddeclaredthelandtobeagoodlandandbeautiful——aspottosatisfyone’ssoul。Thencamethehouse——simpleandsevereinitsarchitecture——anItalianvilla，suchashehadknowninFlorence，adaptednowtoAmericanclimateandneeds。Thescarsofbuildinghadnotallhealedyet，butclosetothehousewavedgreengrassandbloomingflowersthatmighthavebeentherealways。Neitherdidthehouseitselflooknew。Thesoft，graystuccohadtakenonatonethatmeltedintotheskyandfoliageofitsbackground。Attheentrancehisdomesticstaffwaitedtogreethim，andthenhesteppedacrossthethresholdintothewidehallandstoodinhisownhomeforthefirsttimeinseventeenyears。Itwasananxiousmoment，andnoonespokeimmediately。Butpresentlyhiseyehadtakeninthesatisfyingharmonyoftheplaceandfollowedonthroughthewidedoorsthatledtothedining—room——onthroughtheopenFrenchwindowstoanenchantingvistaoftree—topsanddistantfarmsideandbluehills。Hesaid，verygently：
　　"Howbeautifulitallis？Ididnotthinkitcouldbeasbeautifulasthis。"
　　Hewastakenthroughtherooms；thegreatliving—roomatoneendofthehall——aroomonthewallsofwhichtherewasnopicture，butonlycolor—
　　harmony——andattheotherendofthehall，thesplendid，glowingbilliard—room，wherehungallthepicturesinwhichhetookdelight。
　　Thentothefloorabove，withitsspaciousapartmentsandacontinuationofcolor——welcomeandconcord，thewindowsopentothepleasanteveninghills。Whenhehadseenitall——thenaturalItaliangardenbelowtheterraces；theloggia，whosearchesframedlandscapevistasandformedararepicture—gallery；whenhehadcompletedtheroundandstoodinthebilliard—room——hisespecialdomain——oncemorehesaid，asafinalverdict：
　　"Itisaperfecthouse——perfect，sofarasIcansee，ineverydetail。
　　Itmighthavebeenherealways。"
　　Hewasathometherefromthatmoment——absolutely，marvelouslyathome，forhefittedthesettingperfectly，andtherewasnotahitchorflawinhisadaptation。Toseehimoverthebilliard—table，fiveminuteslater，onecouldeasilyfancythatMarkTwain，aswellasthehouse，had"been，therealways。"Onlythepresenceofhisdaughterswasneedednowtocompletehissatisfactionineverything。
　　Thereweregueststhatfirstevening——asmallhomedinner—party——andsoperfectweretheappointmentsandservice，thatonenotknowingwouldscarcelyhaveimaginedittobethefirstdinnerservedinthatlovelyroom。Alittlelater；atthefootofthegardenofbayandcedar，neighbors，inspiredbyDanBeard，whohadrecentlylocatednearby，setoffsomefireworks。Clemenssteppedoutontheterraceandsawrocketsclimbingthroughthesummerskytoannouncehisarrival。
　　"Iwonderwhytheyallgotosomuchtroubleforme，"hesaid，softly。
　　"Inevergotoanytroubleforanybody"——astatementwhichallwhoheardit，andallhismultitudeofreadersineveryland，stoodreadytodeny。
　　Thatfirsteveningclosedwithbilliards——boisterous，triumphantbilliards——andwhenwithmidnightthedayendedandthecuesweresetintherack，therewasnonetosaythatMarkTwain’sfirstdayinhisnewhomehadnotbeenahappyone。
　　CCLXIX
　　FIRSTDAYSATSTORMFIELD
　　Iwentupnextafternoon，forIknewhowhedreadedloneliness。Weplayedbilliardsforatime，thensetoutforawalk，followingthelongdrivetotheleafylanethatledtomyownproperty。Presentlyhesaid：
　　"InonewayIamsorryIdidnotseethisplacesooner。Ineverwanttoleaveitagain。IfIhadknownitwassobeautifulIshouldhavevacatedthehouseintownandmovedupherepermanently。"
　　Isuggestedthathecouldstilldoso，ifhechose，andheenteredimmediatelyintotheidea。Byandbyweturneddownadesertedroad，grassyandbeautiful，thatranalonghisland。Atonesidewasaslopefacingthewest，anddottedwiththeslender，cypress—likecedarsofNewEngland。Hehadaskedifthatwerepartofhisland，andonbeingtolditwashesaid：
　　"IwouldlikeHowellstohaveahousethere。WemusttrytogivethattoHowells。"
　　Atthefootofthehillwecametoabrookandfolloweditintoameadow。
　　ItoldhimthatIhadoftencaughtfinetroutthere，andthatsoonI
　　wouldbringinsomeforbreakfast。Heanswered：
　　"Yes，Ishouldlikethat。Idon’tcaretocatchthemanymoremyself。I
　　likethemveryhot。"
　　Wepassedthroughsomewoodsandcameoutnearmyownancientlittlehouse。Henoticeditandsaid：
　　"ThemanwhobuiltthathadsomememoryofGreeceinhismindwhenheputonthatlittleporchwiththosecolumns。"
　　Myseconddaughter，Frances，wascomingfromadistantschoolontheeveningtrain，andthecarriagewasstartingjustthentobringher。I
　　suggestedthatperhapshewouldfinditpleasanttomakethedrive。
　　"Yes，"heagreed，"Ishouldenjoythat。"
　　SoItookthereins，andhepickeduplittleJoy，whocamerunningoutjustthen，andclimbedintothebackseat。Itwasanotherbeautifulevening，andhewasinatalkativehumor。Joypointedoutasmallturtleintheroad，andhesaid：
　　"Thatisawildturtle。Doyouthinkyoucouldteachitarithmetic？"
　　Joywasuncertain。
　　"Well，"hewenton，"yououghttogetanarithmetic——alittleten—centarithmetic——andteachthatturtle。"
　　Wepassedsomeswampywoods，ratherdimandjunglelike。
　　"Those，"hesaid，"areelephantwoods。"
　　ButJoyanswered：
　　"Theyarefairywoods。Thefairiesarethere，butyoucan’tseethembecausetheywearmagiccloaks。"
　　Hesaid："IwishIhadoneofthosemagiccloaks，sometimes。Ihadoneonce，butitiswornoutnow。"
　　Joylookedathimreverently，asonewhohadoncebeentheownerofapieceoffairyland。
　　Itwasasweetdrivetoandfromthevillage。Therearenonetoomanysucheveningsinalifetime。ColonelHarvey’slittledaughter，Dorothy，cameupadayortwolater，andwithmydaughterLouisespentthefirstweekwithhiminthenewhome。Theywerecreated"Angel—Fishes"——thefirstinthenewaquarium；thatistosay，thebilliard—room，wherehefollowedouttheideabyhangingarowofcoloredprintsofBermudafishesinasortoffriezearoundthewalls。Eachvisitingmemberwasrequiredtoselectoneasherparticularpatronfishandhewrotehernameuponit。Itwashisdelighttogatherhisjuvenileguestsinthisroomandteachthemthescienceofbilliardangles；butitwassodifficulttoresisttakingthecueandmakingplayshimselfthathewasrequiredtostandonalittleplatformandgiveinstructionjustoutofreach。Hissnowyflannelsandgleamingwhitehair，againstthoserichredwalls，withthosesmall，summer—cladplayers，madeaprettypicture。
　　Theplacedidnotretainitsoriginalname。Hedeclaredthatitwouldalwaysbe"InnocenceatHome"totheangel—fishvisitors，butthatthetitledidn’tremaincontinuouslyappropriate。ThemoneywhichhehadderivedfromCaptainStormfield’sVisittoHeavenhadbeenusedtobuildtheloggiawing，andheconsideredthenameof"Stormfield"asasubstitute。When，presently，thesummerstormsgatheredonthatrock—
　　bound，openhill，withitswidereachesofvineandshrub—wild，fiercestormsthatbentthebirchandcedar，andstrainedatthebayandhuckleberry，withlightningandturbulentwindandthunder，followedbythechargingrain——thenameseemedtobecomepeculiarlyappropriate。
　　Standingwithhisheadbaredtothetumult，hiswhitehairtossingintheblast，andlookingoutuponthewidesplendorofthespectacle，herechristenedtheplace，and"Stormfield"itbecameandremained。
　　ThelastdayofMarkTwain’sfirstweekinRedding，June25th，wassaddenedbythenewsofthedeathofGroverClevelandathishomeinPrinceton，NewJersey。ClemenshadalwaysbeenanardentClevelandadmirer，andtoMrs。Clevelandnowhesentthiswordofcondolence——
　　YourhusbandwasamanIknewandlovedandhonoredfortwenty—fiveyears。Imournwithyou。
　　Andonceduringtheeveninghesaid：
　　"HewasoneofourtwoorthreerealPresidents。Thereisnonetotakehisplace。"
　　CCLXX
　　THEALDRICHMEMORIAL
　　AttheendofJunecamethededicationatPortsmouth，NewHampshire，oftheThomasBaileyAldrichMemorialMuseum，whichthepoet’swifehadestablishedthereintheoldAldrichhomestead。Itwashotweather。
　　WewereobligedtotakearatherpoortrainfromSouthNorwalk，andClemenswassilentandgloomymostofthewaytoBoston。Oncethere，however，lodgedinacoolandcomfortablehotel，mattersimproved。
　　HehadbroughtalongforreadingtheoldcopyofSirThomasMalory’sArthurTales，andafterdinnerhetookoffhisclothesandclimbedintobedandsatupandreadaloudfromthosestatelylegends，withcommentsthatIwishIcouldremembernow，onlystoppingatlastwhenoverpoweredwithsleep。
　　WewentonaspecialtraintoPortsmouthnextmorningthroughthesummerheat，andassembled，withthosewhoweretospeak，inthebackportionoftheopera—house，behindthescenes：Clemenswasgenialandgood—naturedwithallthediscomfortofit；andhelikedtofancy，withHowells，whohadcomeoverfromKitteryPoint，howAldrichmustbeamusedatthewholecircumstanceifhecouldseethempunishingthemselvestodohonortohismemory。RichardWatsonGilderwasthere，andHamiltonMabie；alsoGovernorFloydofNewHampshire；ColonelHigginson，RobertBridges，andotherdistinguishedmen。Wegottothemoreopenatmosphereofthestagepresently，andtheexercisesbegan。Clemenswaslastontheprogram。
　　Theothershadallsaidhandsome，seriousthings，andClemenshimselfhadmentallypreparedsomethingofthesort；butwhenhisturncame，andherosetospeak，asuddenreactionmusthavesetin，forhedeliveredanaddressthatcertainlywouldhavedelightedAldrichliving，andmusthavedelightedhimdead，ifhecouldhearit。Itwasfullofthemostcharminghumor，delicate，refreshing，andspontaneous。Theaudience，thathadbeenmaintainingapropergravitythroughout，showeditsappreciationinripplesofmerrimentthatgrewpresentlyintogenuinewavesoflaughter。Hespokeouthisregretforhavingwornblackclothes。Itwasamistake，hesaid，toconsiderthisasolemntime——
　　Aldrichwouldnothavewishedittobesoconsidered。Hehadbeenamanwholovedhumorandbrightnessandwit，andhadhelpedtomakelifemerryanddelightful。Certainly，ifhecouldknow，hewouldnotwishthisdedicationofhisownhometobealugubrious，smilelessoccasion。