ByJEROMEK。JEROME
Myself，Idonotbelievethisstory。Sixpersonsarepersuadedofitstruth；andthehopeofthesesixistoconvincethemselvesitwasanhallucination。Theirdifficultyistherearesixofthem。Eachonealoneperceivesclearlythatitnevercouldhavebeen。Unfortunately，theyareclosefriends，andcannotgetawayfromoneanother；andwhentheymeetandlookintoeachother’seyesthethingtakesshapeagain。
Theonewhotoldittome，andwhoimmediatelywishedhehadnot，wasArmitage。HetoldittomeonenightwhenheandIweretheonlyoccupantsoftheClubsmoking—room。Histellingme——asheexplainedafterwards——wasanimpulseofthemoment。Senseofthethinghadbeenpressinguponhimallthatdaywithunusualpersistence；andtheideahadoccurredtohim，onmyenteringtheroom，thattheflippantscepticismwithwhichanessentiallycommonplacemindlikemyown——heusedthewordsinnooffensivesense——wouldbesuretoregardtheaffairmighthelptodirecthisownattentiontoitsmoreabsurdaspect。Iaminclinedtothinkitdid。Hethankedmefordismissinghisentirenarrativeasthedelusionofadisorderedbrain，andbeggedmenottomentionthemattertoanotherlivingsoul。Ipromised；andImayaswellhereobservethatIdonotcallthismentioningthematter。Armitageisnottheman’srealname；itdoesnotevenbeginwithanA。Youmightreadthisstoryanddinenexttohimthesameevening：youwouldknownothing。
Also，ofcourse，Ididnotconsidermyselfdebarredfromspeakingaboutit，discreetly，toMrs。Armitage，acharmingwoman。Sheburstintotearsatthefirstmentionofthething。IttookmeallIknewtotranquillizeher。Shesaidthatwhenshedidnotthinkaboutthethingshecouldbehappy。SheandArmitageneverspokeofittooneanother；andlefttothemselvesheropinionwasthateventuallytheymightputremembrancebehindthem。ShewishedtheywerenotquitesofriendlywiththeEveretts。Mr。andMrs。Everetthadbothdreamtpreciselythesamedream；thatis，assumingitwasadream。Mr。
Everettwasnotthesortofpersonthataclergymanought，perhaps，toknow；butasArmitagewouldalwaysargue：forateacherofChristianitytowithdrawhisfriendshipfromamanbecausethatmanwassomewhatofasinnerwouldbeinconsistent。Rathershouldheremainhisfriendandseektoinfluencehim。TheydinedwiththeEverettsregularlyonTuesdays，andsittingoppositetheEveretts，itseemedimpossibletoacceptasafactthatallfourofthematthesametimeandinthesamemannerhadfallenvictimstothesameillusion。IthinkIsucceededinleavinghermorehopeful。Sheacknowledgedthatthestory，lookedatfromthepointofcommonsense，didsoundridiculous；andthreatenedmethatifIeverbreathedawordofittoanyone，sheneverwouldspeaktomeagain。Sheisacharmingwoman，asIhavealreadymentioned。
ByacuriouscoincidenceIhappenedatthetimetobeoneofEverett’sdirectorsonaCompanyhehadjustpromotedfortakingoveranddevelopingtheRedSeaCoastingtrade。IlunchedwithhimthefollowingSunday。Heisaninterestingtalker，andcuriositytodiscoverhowsoshrewdamanwouldaccountforhisconnectionwithsoinsane——soimpossibleafancy，promptedmetohintmyknowledgeofthestory。Themannerbothofhimandofhiswifechangedsuddenly。Theywantedtoknowwhoitwashadtoldme。Irefusedtheinformation，becauseitwasevidenttheywouldhavebeenangrywithhim。Everett’stheorywasthatoneofthemhaddreamtit——probablyCamelford——andbyhypnoticsuggestionhadconveyedtotherestofthemtheimpressionthattheyhaddreamtitalso。Headdedthatbutforoneslightincidentheshouldhaveridiculedfromtheverybeginningtheargumentthatitcouldhavebeenanythingelsethanadream。Butwhatthatincidentwashewouldnottellme。Hisobject，asheexplained，wasnottodwelluponthebusiness，buttotryandforgetit。Speakingasafriend，headvisedme，likewise，nottocackleaboutthematteranymorethanIcouldhelp，lesttroubleshouldarisewithregardtomydirector’sfees。Hiswayofputtingthingsisoccasionallyblunt。
ItwasattheEveretts’，lateron，thatImetMrs。Camelford，oneofthehandsomestwomenIhaveeverseteyesupon。Itwasfoolishofme，butmymemoryfornamesisweak。IforgotthatMr。andMrs。Camelfordweretheothertwoconcerned，andmentionedthestoryasacurioustaleIhadreadyearsagoinanoldMiscellany。Ihadreckonedonittoleadmeintoadiscussionwithheronplatonicfriendship。Shejumpedupfromherchairandgavemealook。Irememberedthen，andcouldhavebittenoutmytongue。Ittookmealongwhiletomakemypeace，butshecameroundintheend，consentingtoattributemyblundertomerestupidity。Shewasquiteconvincedherself，shetoldme，thatthethingwaspureimagination。Itwasonlywhenincompanywiththeothersthatanydoubtastothiscrossedhermind。Herownideawasthat，ifeverybodywouldagreenevertomentionthematteragain，itwouldendintheirforgettingit。Shesupposeditwasherhusbandwhohadbeenmyinformant：hewasjustthatsortofass。Shedidnotsayitunkindly。Shesaidwhenshewasfirstmarried，tenyearsago，fewpeoplehadamoreirritatingeffectuponherthanhadCamelford；butthatsinceshehadseenmoreofothermenshehadcometorespecthim。Iliketohearawomanspeakwellofherhusband。Itisadeparturewhich，inmyopinion，shouldbemoreencouragedthanitis。IassuredherCamelfordwasnottheculprit；andontheunderstandingthatImightcometoseeher——nottoooften——onherThursdays，IagreedwithherthatthebestthingIcoulddowouldbetodismissthesubjectfrommymindandoccupymyselfinsteadwithquestionsthatconcernedmyself。
IhadnevertalkedmuchwithCamelfordbeforethattime，thoughIhadoftenseenhimattheClub。Heisastrangeman，ofwhommanystoriesaretold。Hewritesjournalismforaliving，andpoetry，whichhepublishesathisownexpense，apparentlyforrecreation。Itoccurredtomethathistheorywouldatalleventsbeinteresting；butatfirsthewouldnottalkatall，pretendingtoignorethewholeaffair，asidlenonsense。Ihadalmostdespairedofdrawinghimout，whenoneevening，ofhisownaccord，heaskedmeifIthoughtMrs。Armitage，withwhomheknewIwasontermsoffriendship，stillattachedimportancetothething。OnmyexpressingtheopinionthatMrs。
Armitagewasthemosttroubledofthegroup，hewasirritated；andurgedmetoleavetherestofthemaloneanddevotewhateversenseI
mightpossesstopersuadingherinparticularthattheentirethingwasandcouldbenothingbutpuremyth。Heconfessedfranklythattohimitwasstillamystery。Hecouldeasilyregarditaschimera，butforoneslightincident。Hewouldnotforalongwhilesaywhatthatwas，butthereissuchathingasperseverance，andintheendI
draggeditoutofhim。Thisiswhathetoldme。
"Wehappenedbychancetofindourselvesaloneintheconservatory，thatnightoftheball——wesix。Mostofthecrowdhadalreadyleft。
Thelast’extra’wasbeingplayed：themusiccametousfaintly。
StoopingtopickupJessica’sfan，whichshehadletfalltotheground，somethingshiningonthetesselatedpavementunderneathagroupofpalmssuddenlycaughtmyeye。Wehadnotsaidawordtooneanother；indeed，itwasthefirsteveningwehadanyofusmetoneanother——thatis，unlessthethingwasnotadream。Ipickeditup。
Theothersgatheredroundme，andwhenwelookedintooneanother’seyesweunderstood：itwasabrokenwine—cup，acuriousgobletofBavarianglass。Itwasthegobletoutofwhichwehadalldreamtthatwehaddrunk。"
Ihaveputthestorytogetherasitseemstomeitmusthavehappened。
Theincidents，atallevents，arefacts。Thingshavesinceoccurredtothoseconcernedaffordingmehopethattheywillneverreadit。I
shouldnothavetroubledtotellitatall，butthatithasamoral。
***
Sixpersonssatroundthegreatoaktableinthewainscoted_SpeiseSaal_ofthatcosyhostelry，theKneiperHofatKonigsberg。Itwaslateintothenight。Underordinarycircumstancestheywouldhavebeeninbed，buthavingarrivedbythelasttrainfromDantzic，andhavingsuppedonGermanfare，ithadseemedtothemdiscreetertoremainawhileintalk。Thehousewasstrangelysilent。Therotundlandlord，leavingtheircandlesrangeduponthesideboard，hadwishedthem"GuteNacht"anhourbefore。Thespiritoftheancienthouseenfoldedthemwithinitswings。
Hereinthisverychamber，ifrumouristobebelieved，EmmanuelKanthimselfhadsatdiscoursingmanyatimeandoft。Thewalls，behindwhichformorethanfortyyearsthelittlepeak—facedmanhadthoughtandworked，rosesilveredbythemoonlightjustacrossthenarrowway；
thethreehighwindowsofthe_SpeiseSaal_giveoutupontheoldCathedraltowerbeneathwhichnowherests。Philosophy，curiousconcerninghumanphenomena，eagerforexperience，unhamperedbythelimitationConventionwouldimposeuponallspeculation，wasinthesmokyair。
"Notintofutureevents，"remarkedtheRev。NathanielArmitage，"itisbettertheyshouldbehiddenfromus。Butintothefutureofourselves——ourtemperament，ourcharacter——Ithinkweoughttobeallowedtosee。Attwentyweareoneindividual；atforty，anotherpersonentirely，withotherviews，withotherinterests，adifferentoutlookuponlife，attractedbyquiteotherattributes，repelledbytheveryqualitiesthatonceattractedus。Itisextremelyawkward，forallofus。"
"Iamgladtohearsomebodyelsesaythat，"observedMrs。Everett，inhergentle，sympatheticvoice。"Ihavethoughtitallmyselfsooften。SometimesIhaveblamedmyself，yethowcanonehelpit：thethingsthatappearedofimportancetous，theybecomeindifferent；newvoicescalltous；theidolsweonceworshipped，weseetheirfeetofclay。"
"Ifundertheheadofidolsyouincludeme，"laughedthejovialMr。
Everett，"don’thesitatetosayso。"Hewasalargered—facedgentleman，withsmalltwinklingeyes，andamouthbothstrongandsensuous。"Ididn’tmakemyfeetmyself。Ineveraskedanybodytotakemeforastained—glasssaint。ItisnotIwhohavechanged。"
"Iknow，dear，itisI，"histhinwifeansweredwithameeksmile。"I
wasbeautiful，therewasnodoubtaboutit，whenyoumarriedme。"
"Youwere，mydear，"agreedherhusband："Asagirlfewcouldholdacandletoyou。"
"Itwastheonlythingaboutmethatyouvalued，mybeauty，"continuedhiswife；"anditwentsoquickly。IfeelsometimesasifIhadswindledyou。"
"Butthereisabeautyofthemind，ofthesoul，"remarkedtheRev。
NathanielArmitage，"thattosomemenismoreattractivethanmerephysicalperfection。"
Thesofteyesofthefadedladyshoneforamomentwiththelightofpleasure。"IamafraidDickisnotofthatnumber，"shesighed。
"Well，asIsaidjustnowaboutmyfeet，"answeredherhusbandgenially，"Ididn’tmakemyself。Ialwayshavebeenaslavetobeautyandalwaysshallbe。Therewouldbenosenseinpretendingamongchumsthatyouhaven’tlostyourlooks，oldgirl。"Helaidhisfinehandwithkindlyintentuponherbonyshoulder。"Butthereisnocallforyoutofretyourselfasifyouhaddoneitonpurpose。Noonebutaloverimaginesawomangrowingmorebeautifulasshegrowsolder。"
"Somewomenwouldseemto，"answeredhiswife。
InvoluntarilysheglancedtowhereMrs。Camelfordsatwithelbowsrestingonthetable；andinvoluntarilyalsothesmalltwinklingeyesofherhusbandfollowedinthesamedirection。Thereisatypethatreachesitsprimeinmiddleage。Mrs。Camelford，_nee_JessicaDearwood，attwentyhadbeenanuncanny—lookingcreature，theonlythingaboutherappealingtogeneralmasculinetastehavingbeenhermagnificenteyes，andeventhesehadfrightenedmorethantheyhadallured。Atforty，Mrs。CamelfordmighthaveposedfortheentireJuno。
"Yes，he’sacunningoldjokerisTime，"murmuredMr。Everett，almostinaudibly。
"Whatoughttohavehappened，"saidMrs。Armitage，whilewithdeftfingersrollingherselfacigarette，"wasforyouandNellietohavemarried。"
Mrs。Everett’spalefaceflushedscarlet。
"Mydear，"exclaimedtheshockedNathanielArmitage，flushinglikewise。
"Oh，whymayonenotsometimesspeakthetruth？"answeredhiswifepetulantly。"YouandIareutterlyunsuitedtooneanother——everybodyseesit。Atnineteenitseemedtomebeautiful，holy，theideaofbeingaclergyman’swife，fightingbyhissideagainstevil。Besides，youhavechangedsincethen。Youwerehuman，mydearNat，inthosedays，andthebestdancerIhadevermet。Itwasyourdancingwasyourchiefattractionformeaslikelyasnot，ifIhadonlyknownmyself。Atnineteenhowcanoneknowoneself？"
"Welovedeachother，"theRev。Armitageremindedher。
"Iknowwedid，passionately——then；butwedon’tnow。"Shelaughedalittlebitterly。"PoorNat！Iamonlyanothertrialaddedtoyourlonglist。Yourbeliefs，youridealsaremeaninglesstome——merenarrow—mindeddogmas，stiflingthought。NelliewasthewifeNaturehadintendedforyou，sosoonasshehadlostherbeautyandwithitallherworldlyideas。Fatewasmaturingherforyou，ifonlywehadknown。Asforme，Ioughttohavebeenthewifeofanartist，ofapoet。"UnconsciouslyaglancefromhereverrestlesseyesflashedacrossthetabletowhereHoratioCamelfordsat，puffingcloudsofsmokeintotheairfromahugeblackmeerschaumpipe。"Bohemiaismycountry。Itspoverty，itsstrugglewouldhavebeenajoytome。
Breathingitsfreeair，lifewouldhavebeenworthliving。"
HoratioCamelfordleantbackwitheyesfixedontheoakenceiling。
"Itisamistake，"saidHoratioCamelford，"fortheartistevertomarry。"
ThehandsomeMrs。Camelfordlaughedgood—naturedly。"Theartist，"
remarkedMrs。Camelford，"fromwhatIhaveseenofhimwouldneverknowtheinsideofhisshirtfromtheoutsideifhiswifewasnottheretotakeitoutofthedrawerandputitoverhishead。"
"Hiswearingitinsideoutwouldnotmakemuchdifferencetotheworld，"arguedherhusband。"Thesacrificeofhisarttothenecessityofkeepinghiswifeandfamilydoes。"
"Well，youatalleventsdonotappeartohavesacrificedmuch，myboy，"camethebreezyvoiceofDickEverett。"Why，alltheworldisringingwithyourname。"
"WhenIamforty—one，withallthebestyearsofmylifebehindme，"
answeredthePoet。"Speakingasaman，Ihavenothingtoregret。Noonecouldhavehadabetterwife；mychildrenarecharming。Ihavelivedthepeacefulexistenceofthesuccessfulcitizen。HadIbeentruetomytrustIshouldhavegoneoutintothewilderness，theonlypossiblehomeoftheteacher，theprophet。TheartististhebridegroomofArt。Marriageforhimisanimmorality。HadImytimeagainIshouldremainabachelor。"
"Timebringsitsrevenges，yousee，"laughedMrs。Camelford。"AttwentythatfellowthreatenedtocommitsuicideifIwouldnotmarryhim，andcordiallydislikinghimIconsented。Nowtwentyyearslater，whenIamjustgettingusedtohim，hecalmlyturnsroundandsayshewouldhavebeenbetterwithoutme。"
"Iheardsomethingaboutitatthetime，"saidMrs。Armitage。"Youwereverymuchinlovewithsomebodyelse，wereyounot？"
"Isnottheconversationassumingaratherdangerousdirection？"
laughedMrs。Camelford。
"Iwasthinkingthesamething，"agreedMrs。Everett。"Onewouldimaginesomestrangeinfluencehadseizeduponus，forcingustospeakourthoughtsaloud。"
"IamafraidIwastheoriginalculprit，"admittedtheReverendNathaniel。"Thisroomisbecomingquiteoppressive。Hadwenotbettergotobed？"
Theancientlampsuspendedfromitssmoke—grimedbeamutteredafaint，gurglingsob，andsplutteredout。TheshadowoftheoldCathedraltowercreptinandstretchedacrosstheroom，nowilluminatedonlybyoccasionalbeamsfromthecloud—curtainedmoon。Attheotherendofthetablesatapeak—facedlittlegentleman，clean—shaven，infull—bottomedwig。
"Forgiveme，"saidthelittlegentleman。HespokeinEnglish，withastrongaccent。"Butitseemstomehereisacasewheretwopartiesmightbeofservicetooneanother。"
Thesixfellow—travellersroundthetablelookedatoneanother，butnonespoke。Theideathatcametoeachofthem，astheyexplainedtooneanotherlater，wasthatwithoutrememberingittheyhadtakentheircandlesandhadgonetobed。Thiswassurelyadream。
"Itwouldgreatlyassistme，"continuedthelittlepeak—facedgentleman，"inexperimentsIamconductingintothephenomenaofhumantendencies，ifyouwouldallowmetoputyourlivesbacktwentyyears。"
Stillnooneofthesixreplied。Itseemedtothemthatthelittleoldgentlemanmusthavebeensittingthereamongthemallthetime，unnoticedbythem。
"Judgingfromyourtalkthisevening，"continuedthepeak—facedlittlegentleman，"youshouldwelcomemyoffer。Youappeartometobeoneandallofexceptionalintelligence。Youperceivethemistakesthatyouhavemade：youunderstandthecauses。Thefutureveiled，youcouldnothelpyourselves。WhatIproposetodoistoputyoubacktwentyyears。Youwillbeboysandgirlsagain，butwiththisdifference：thattheknowledgeofthefuture，sofarasitrelatestoyourselves，willremainwithyou。
"Come，"urgedtheoldgentleman，"thethingisquitesimpleofaccomplishment。As——asacertainphilosopherhasclearlyproved：theuniverseisonlytheresultofourownperceptions。Bywhatmayappeartoyoutobemagic——bywhatinrealitywillbesimplyachemicaloperation——Iremovefromyourmemorytheeventsofthelasttwentyyears，withtheexceptionofwhatimmediatelyconcernsyourownpersonalities。Youwillretainallknowledgeofthechanges，physicalandmental，thatwillbeinstoreforyou；allelsewillpassfromyourperception。"
Thelittleoldgentlemantookasmallphialfromhiswaistcoatpocket，and，fillingoneofthemassivewine—glassesfromadecanter，measuredintoitsomehalf—a—dozendrops。Thenheplacedtheglassinthecentreofthetable。
"Youthisagoodtimetogobackto，"saidthepeak—facedlittlegentleman，withasmile。"Twentyyearsago，itwasthenightoftheHuntBall。Yourememberit？"
ItwasEverettwhodrankfirst。HedrankitwithhislittletwinklingeyesfixedhungrilyontheproudhandsomefaceofMrs。Camelford；andthenhandedtheglasstohiswife。Itwassheperhapswhodrankfromitmosteagerly。HerlifewithEverett，fromthedaywhenshehadrisenfromabedofsicknessstrippedofallherbeauty，hadbeenonebitterwrong。Shedrankwiththewildhopethatthethingmightpossiblybenotadream；andthrilledtothetouchofthemansheloved，asreachingacrossthetablehetooktheglassfromherhand。
Mrs。Armitagewasthefourthtodrink。Shetookthecupfromherhusband，drankwithaquietsmile，andpasseditontoCamelford。AndCamelforddrank，lookingatnobody，andreplacedtheglassuponthetable。
"Come，"saidthelittleoldgentlemantoMrs。Camelford，"youaretheonlyoneleft。Thewholethingwillbeincompletewithoutyou。"
"Ihavenowishtodrink，"saidMrs。Camelford，andhereyessoughtthoseofherhusband，buthewouldnotlookather。
"Come，"againurgedtheFigure。AndthenCamelfordlookedatherandlaugheddrily。
"Youhadbetterdrink，"hesaid。"It’sonlyadream。"
"Ifyouwishit，"sheanswered。Anditwasfromhishandsshetooktheglass。
***
ItisfromthenarrativeasArmitagetoldittomethatnightintheClubsmoking—roomthatIamtakingmostofmymaterial。Itseemedtohimthatallthingsbeganslowlytoriseupward，leavinghimstationary，butwithagreatpainasthoughtheinsideofhimwerebeingtornaway——thesamesensationgreatlyexaggerated，sohelikenedit，asdescendinginalift。Butaroundhimallthetimewassilenceanddarknessunrelieved。Afteraperiodthatmighthavebeenminutes，thatmighthavebeenyears，afaintlightcrepttowardshim。Itgrewstronger，andintotheairwhichnowfannedhischeektherestolethesoundoffar—offmusic。Thelightandthemusicbothincreased，andonebyonehissensescamebacktohim。Hewasseatedonalowcushionedbenchbeneathagroupofpalms。Ayounggirlwassittingbesidehim，butherfacewasturnedawayfromhim。
"Ididnotcatchyourname，"hewassaying。"Wouldyoumindtellingittome？"
Sheturnedherfacetowardshim。Itwasthemostspirituallybeautifulfacehehadeverseen。"Iaminthesamepredicament，"shelaughed。"Youhadbetterwriteyoursonmyprogramme，andIwillwritemineonyours。"
Sotheywroteuponeachother’sprogrammeandexchangedagain。ThenameshehadwrittenwasAliceBlatchley。
Hehadneverseenherbefore，thathecouldremember。Yetatthebackofhismindtheredweltthehauntingknowledgeofher。Somewherelongagotheyhadmet，talkedtogether。Slowly，asonerecallsadream，itcamebacktohim。Insomeotherlife，vague，shadowy，hehadmarriedthiswoman。Forthefirstfewyearstheyhadlovedeachother；thenthegulfhadopenedbetweenthem，widened。Stern，strongvoiceshadcalledtohimtolayasidehisselfishdreams，hisboyishambitions，totakeuponhisshoulderstheyokeofagreatduty。Whenmorethaneverhehaddemandedsympathyandhelp，thiswomanhadfallenawayfromhim。Hisidealsbutirritatedher。Onlyatthecostofdailybitternesshadhebeenabletoresistherendeavourstodrawhimfromhispath。Aface——thatofawomanwithsofteyes，fullofhelpfulness，shonethroughthemistofhisdream——thefaceofawomanwhowouldonedaycometohimoutoftheFuturewithoutstretchedhandsthathewouldyearntoclasp。
"Shallwenotdance？"saidthevoicebesidehim。"Ireallywon’tsitoutawaltz。"
Theyhurriedintotheball—room。Withhisarmaboutherform，herwondrouseyesshyly，atraremoments，seekinghis，thenvanishingagainbehindtheirdroopinglashes，thebrain，themind，theverysouloftheyoungmanpassedoutofhisownkeeping。Shecomplimentedhiminherbewitchingmanner，adelightfulblendingofcondescensionandtimidity。
"Youdanceextremelywell，"shetoldhim。"Youmayaskmeforanother，lateron。"
Thewordsflashedoutfromthatdimhauntingfuture。"Yourdancingwasyourchiefattractionforme，aslikelyasnot，hadIbutknown？"
AllthateveningandformanymonthstocomethePresentandtheFuturefoughtwithinhim。AndtheexperienceofNathanielArmitage，divinitystudent，wastheexperiencelikewiseofAliceBlatchley，whohadfalleninlovewithhimatfirstsight，havingfoundhimthedivinestdancershehadeverwhirledwithtothesensuousmusicofthewaltz；ofHoratioCamelford，journalistandminorpoet，whosejournalismearnedhimabareincome，butatwhoseminorpoetrycriticssmiled；ofJessicaDearwood，withhergloriouseyes，andmuddycomplexion，andherwildhopelesspassionforthebig，handsome，ruddy—beardedDickEverett，who，knowingit，onlylaughedatherinhiskindly，lordlyway，tellingherwithfrankbrutalnessthatthewomanwhowasnotbeautifulhadmissedhervocationinlife；ofthatscheming，conqueringyounggentlemanhimself，whoattwenty—fivehadalreadymadehismarkintheCity，shrewd，clever，cool—headedasafox，exceptwhereaprettyfaceandshapelyhandoranklewereconcerned；ofNellieFanshawe，thenintheprideofherravishingbeauty，wholovednonebutherself，whoseclay—madegodswerejewels，andfinedressesandrichfeasts，theenvyofotherwomenandthecourtshipofallmankind。
Thateveningoftheballeachclungtothehopethatthismemoryofthefuturewasbutadream。Theyhadbeenintroducedtooneanother；
hadheardeachother’snamesforthefirsttimewithastartofrecognition；hadavoidedoneanother’seyes；hadhastenedtoplungeintomeaninglesstalk；tillthatmomentwhenyoungCamelford，stoopingtopickupJessica’sfan，hadfoundthatbrokenfragmentoftheRhenishwine—glass。Thenitwasthatconvictionrefusedtobeshakenoff，thatknowledgeofthefuturehadtobesadlyaccepted。
Whattheyhadnotforeseenwasthatknowledgeofthefutureinnowayaffectedtheiremotionsofthepresent。NathanielArmitagegrewdaybydaymorehopelesslyinlovewithbewitchingAliceBlatchley。Thethoughtofhermarryinganyoneelse——thelong—haired，priggishCamelfordinparticular——sentthebloodboilingthroughhisveins；
addedtowhichsweetAlice，withherarmsabouthisneck，wouldconfesstohimthatlifewithouthimwouldbeamiseryhardlytobeendured，thatthethoughtofhimasthehusbandofanotherwoman——ofNellieFanshaweinparticular——wasmadnesstoher。Itwasrightperhaps，knowingwhattheydid，thattheyshouldsaygood—byetooneanother。Shewouldbringsorrowintohislife。Betterfarthatheshouldputherawayfromhim，thatsheshoulddieofabrokenheart，asshefeltsureshewould。Howcouldhe，afondlover，inflictthissufferinguponher？HeoughtofcoursetomarryNellieFanshawe，buthecouldnotbearthegirl。Woulditnotbetheheightofabsurditytomarryagirlhestronglydislikedbecausetwentyyearshenceshemightbemoresuitabletohimthanthewomanhenowlovedandwholovedhim？
NorcouldNellieFanshawebringherselftodiscusswithoutlaughterthesuggestionofmarryingonahundred—and—fiftyayearacuratethatshepositivelyhated。Therewouldcomeatimewhenwealthwouldbeindifferenttoher，whenherexaltedspiritwouldaskbutforthesatisfactionofself—sacrifice。Butthattimehadnotarrived。Theemotionsitwouldbringwithitshecouldnotinherpresentstateevenimagine。Herwholepresentbeingcravedforthethingsofthisworld，thethingsthatwerewithinhergrasp。Toaskhertoforegothemnowbecauselateronshewouldnotcareforthem！itwasliketellingaschoolboytoavoidthetuck—shopbecause，whenaman，thethoughtofstick—jawwouldbenauseoustohim。Ifhercapacityforenjoymentwastobeshort—lived，allthemorereasonforgraspingjoyquickly。
AliceBlatchley，whenherloverwasnotby，gaveherselfmanyaheadachetryingtothinkthethingoutlogically。WasitnotfoolishofhertorushintothismarriagewithdearNat？Atfortyshewouldwishshehadmarriedsomebodyelse。Butmostwomenatforty——shejudgedfromconversationroundabouther——wishedtheyhadmarriedsomebodyelse。Ifeverygirlattwentylistenedtoherselfatfortytherewouldbenomoremarriage。Atfortyshewouldbeadifferentpersonaltogether。Thatotherelderlypersondidnotinteresther。
Toaskayounggirltospoilherlifepurelyintheinterestsofthismiddle—agedparty——itdidnotseemright。Besides，whomelsewasshetomarry？Camelfordwouldnothaveher；hedidnotwantherthen；hewasnotgoingtowantheratforty。ForpracticalpurposesCamelfordwasoutofthequestion。Shemightmarrysomebodyelsealtogether——andfareworse。Shemightremainaspinster：shehatedthemerenameofspinster。Theinky—fingeredwomanjournalistthat，ifallwentwell，shemightbecome：itwasnotheridea。Wassheactingselfishly？Oughtshe，inhisowninterests，torefusetomarrydearNat？Nellie——thelittlecat——whowouldsuithimatforty，wouldnothavehim。IfhewasgoingtomarryanyonebutNelliehemightaswellmarryher，Alice。Abachelorclergyman！itsoundedalmostimproper。NorwasdearNatthetype。Ifshethrewhimoveritwouldbeintothearmsofsomedesigningminx。Whatwasshetodo？
Camelfordatforty，undertheinfluenceoffavourablecriticism，wouldhavepersuadedhimselfhewasaheaven—sentprophet，hiswholelifetobebeautifullyspentinthesavingofmankind。Attwentyhefelthewantedtolive。Weird—lookingJessica，withhermagnificenteyesveilingmysteries，wasofmoreimportancetohimthantherestofthespeciescombined。Knowledgeofthefutureinhiseaseonlyspurreddesire。Themuddycomplexionwouldgrowpinkandwhite，thethinlimbsroundandshapely；thenowscornfuleyeswouldonedaylightwithloveathiscoming。Itwaswhathehadoncehoped：itwaswhathenowknew。Atfortytheartistisstrongerthantheman；attwentythemanisstrongerthantheartist。
Anuncannycreature，somostfolkswouldhavedescribedJessicaDearwood。Fewwouldhaveimaginedherdevelopingintothegood—natured，easy—goingMrs。Camelfordofmiddleage。Theanimal，sostrongwithinherattwenty，atthirtyhadburntitselfout。Ateighteen，madly，blindlyinlovewithred—bearded，deep—voicedDickEverettshewould，hadhewhistledtoher，haveflungherselfgratefullyathisfeet，andthisinspiteoftheknowledgeforewarningherofthemiserablelifehewouldcertainlyleadher，atalleventsuntilherslowlydevelopingbeautyshouldgiveherthewhiphandofhim——bywhichtimeshewouldhavecometodespisehim。Fortunately，asshetoldherself，therewasnofearofhisdoingso，thefuturenotwithstanding。NellieFanshawe’sbeautyheldhimaswithchainsofsteel，andNelliehadnointentionofallowingherrichprizetoescapeher。Herownlover，itwastrue，irritatedhermorethananymanshehadevermet，butatleasthewouldaffordherrefugefromthebreadofcharity。JessicaDearwood，anorphan，hadbeenbroughtupbyadistantrelative。Shehadnotbeenthechildtowinaffection。Ofsilent，broodingnature，everythoughtlessincivilityhadbeentoheraninsult，awrong。AcceptanceofyoungCamelfordseemedheronlyescapefromalifethathadbecometoheramartyrdom。Atforty—onehewouldwishhehadremainedabachelor；butatthirty—eightthatwouldnottroubleher。Shewouldknowherselfhewasmuchbetteroffashewas。Meanwhile，shewouldhavecometolikehim，torespecthim。Hewouldbefamous，shewouldbeproudofhim。Cryingintoherpillow——shecouldnothelpit——forloveofhandsomeDick，itwasstillacomforttoreflectthatNellieFanshawe，asitwere，waswatchingoverher，protectingherfromherself。
Dick，ashemutteredtohimselfadozentimesaday，oughttomarryJessica。Atthirty—eightshewouldbehisideal。Helookedatherasshewasateighteen，andshuddered。Nellieatthirtywouldbeplainanduninteresting。Butwhendidconsiderationofthefutureevercryhalttopassion：whendidalovereverpausethinkingofthemorrow？
Ifherbeautywastoquicklypass，wasnotthatonereasonthemoreurginghimtopossessitwhileitlasted？
NellieFanshaweatfortywouldbeasaint。Theprospectdidnotpleaseher：shehatedsaints。Shewouldlovethetiresome，solemnNathaniel：ofwhatusewasthattohernow？Hedidnotdesireher；
hewasinlovewithAlice，andAlicewasinlovewithhim。Whatwouldbethesense——eveniftheyallagreed——inthethreeofthemmakingthemselvesmiserableforalltheiryouththattheymightbecontentedintheiroldage？Letagefendforitselfandleaveyouthtoitsowninstincts。Letelderlysaintssuffer——itwastheir_metier_——andyouthdrinkthecupoflife。ItwasapityDickwastheonly"catch"
available，buthewasyoungandhandsome。Othergirlshadtoputupwithsixtyandthegout。
Anotherpoint，averyseriouspoint，hadbeenoverlooked。Allthathadarrivedtotheminthatdimfutureofthepasthadhappenedtothemastheresultsoftheirmakingthemarriagestheyhadmade。Towhatfateotherroadswouldleadtheirknowledgecouldnottellthem。
NellieFanshawehadbecomeatfortyalovelycharacter。Mightnotthehardlifeshehadledwithherhusband——alifecallingforcontinualsacrifice，fordailyself—control——havehelpedtowardsthisend？Asthewifeofapoorcurateofhighmoralprinciples，wouldthesameresulthavebeensecured？ThefeverthathadrobbedherofherbeautyandturnedherthoughtsinwardhadbeentheresultofsittingoutonthebalconyoftheParisOperaHousewithanItalianCountontheoccasionofafancydressball。AsthewifeofanEastEndclergymanthechancesareshewouldhaveescapedthatfeveranditspurifyingeffects。Wastherenotdangerintheposition：asupremelybeautifulyoungwoman，worldly—minded，hungryforpleasure，condemnedtoalifeofpovertywithamanshedidnotcarefor？TheinfluenceofAliceuponNathanielArmitage，duringthosefirstyearswhenhischaracterwasforming，hadbeenallforgood。Couldhebesurethat，marriedtoNellie，hemightnothavedeteriorated？
WereAliceBlatchleytomarryanartistcouldshebesurethatatfortyshewouldstillbeinsympathywithartisticideals？Evenasachildhadnotherdesireeverbeenintheoppositedirectiontothatfavouredbyhernurse？DidnotthereadingofConservativejournalsinvariablyinclinehertowardsRadicalism，andthesteadystreamofRadicaltalkroundherhusband’stableinvariablysetherseekingargumentsinfavourofthefeudalsystem？Mightitnothavebeenherhusband’sgrowingPuritanismthathaddrivenhertocraveforBohemianism？Supposethattowardsmiddleage，thewifeofawildartist，shesuddenly"tookreligion，"asthesayingis。Herlaststatewouldbeworsethanthefirst。
Camelfordwasofdelicatephysique。Asanabsent—mindedbachelorwithnoonetogivehimhismeals，noonetoseethathisthingswereaired，couldhehavelivedtillforty？Couldhebesurethathomelifehadnotgivenmoretohisartthanithadtakenfromit？
JessicaDearwood，ofanervous，passionatenature，marriedtoabadhusband，mightatfortyhaveposedforoneoftheFuries。Notuntilherlifehadbecomerestfulhadhergoodlooksshownthemselves。Herswasthetypeofbeautythatforitsdevelopmentdemandstranquillity。
DickEveretthadnodelusionsconcerninghimself。That，hadhemarriedJessica，hecouldfortenyearshaveremainedthefaithfulhusbandofasingularlyplainwifeheknewtobeimpossible。ButJessicawouldhavebeennopatientGriselda。Theextremeprobabilitywasthathavingmarriedherattwentyforthesakeofherbeautyatthirty，attwenty—nineatlatestshewouldhavedivorcedhim。
Everettwasamanofpracticalideas。Itwashewhotookthematterinhand。TherefreshmentcontractoradmittedthatcuriousgobletsofGermanglassoccasionallycreptintotheirstock。Oneofthewaiters，ontheunderstandingthatinnocaseshouldhebecalledupontopayforthem，admittedhavingbrokenmorethanonewine—glassonthatparticularevening：thoughtitnotunlikelyhemighthaveattemptedtohidethefragmentsunderaconvenientpalm。Thewholethingevidentlywasadream。Soyouthdecidedatthetime，andthethreemarriagestookplacewithinthreemonthsofoneanother。
ItwassometenyearslaterthatArmitagetoldmethestorythatnightintheClubsmoking—room。Mrs。Everetthadjustrecoveredfromasevereattackofrheumaticfever，contractedthespringbeforeinParis。Mrs。Camelford，whompreviouslyIhadnotmet，certainlyseemedtomeoneofthehandsomestwomenIhaveeverseen。Mrs。
Armitage——IknewherwhenshewasAliceBlatchley——Ifoundmorecharmingasawomanthanshehadbeenasagirl。WhatshecouldhaveseeninArmitageInevercouldunderstand。Camelfordmadehismarksometenyearslater：poorfellow，hedidnotlivelongtoenjoyhisfame。DickEveretthasstillanothersixyearstoworkoff；butheiswellbehaved，andthereistalkofapetition。
Itisacuriousstoryaltogether，Iadmit。AsIsaidatthebeginning，Idonotmyselfbelieveit。