A Bundle of Letters_第1章_无广告免费看-丁香书院

　　CHAPTERI
　　FROMMISSMIRANDAMOPE，INPARIS，TOMRS。ABRAHAMC。MOPE，ATBANGOR，MAINE。
　　September5th，1879。
　　Mydearmother——IhavekeptyoupostedasfarasTuesdayweeklast，and，althoughmyletterwillnothavereachedyouyet，Iwillbeginanotherbeforemynewsaccumulatestoomuch。Iamgladyoushowmylettersroundinthefamily，forIlikethemalltoknowwhatIamdoing，andIcan’twritetoeveryone，thoughItrytoanswerallreasonableexpectations。Butthereareagreatmanyunreasonableones，asIsupposeyouknow——notyours，dearmother，forIamboundtosaythatyouneverrequiredofmemorethanwasnatural。Youseeyouarereapingyourreward：IwritetoyoubeforeIwritetoanyoneelse。
　　Thereisonething，Ihope——thatyoudon’tshowanyofmyletterstoWilliamPlatt。Ifhewantstoseeanyofmyletters，heknowstherightwaytogotowork。Iwouldn’thavehimseeoneoftheseletters，writtenforcirculationinthefamily，foranythingintheworld。Ifhewantsoneforhimself，hehasgottowritetomefirst。
　　Lethimwritetomefirst，andthenIwillseeaboutansweringhim。
　　Youcanshowhimthisifyoulike；butifyoushowhimanythingmore，Iwillneverwritetoyouagain。
　　ItoldyouinmylastaboutmyfarewelltoEngland，mycrossingtheChannel，andmyfirstimpressionsofParis。IhavethoughtagreatdealaboutthatlovelyEnglandsinceIleftit，andallthefamoushistoricscenesIvisited；butIhavecometotheconclusionthatitisnotacountryinwhichIshouldcaretoreside。Thepositionofwomandoesnotseemtomeatallsatisfactory，andthatisapoint，youknow，onwhichIfeelverystrongly。ItseemstomethatinEnglandtheyplayaveryfaded—outpart，andthosewithwhomI
　　conversedhadakindofdepressedandhumiliatedtone；alittledull，tamelook，asiftheywereusedtobeingsnubbedandbullied，whichmademewanttogivethemagoodshaking。Thereareagreatmanypeople——andagreatmanythings，too——overherethatIshouldliketoperformthatoperationupon。Ishouldliketoshakethestarchoutofsomeofthem，andthedustoutoftheothers。IknowfiftygirlsinBangorthatcomemuchmoreuptomynotionofthestandatrulynoblewomanshouldtake，thanthoseyoungladiesinEngland。Buttheyhadamostlovelywayofspeaking（inEngland），andthemenareREMARKABLYHANDSOME。（YoucanshowthistoWilliamPlatt，ifyoulike。）
　　IgaveyoumyfirstimpressionsofParis，whichquitecameuptomyexpectations，muchasIhadheardandreadaboutit。Theobjectsofinterestareextremelynumerous，andtheclimateisremarkablycheerfulandsunny。Ishouldsaythepositionofwomanherewasconsiderablyhigher，thoughbynomeanscominguptotheAmericanstandard。Themannersofthepeopleareinsomerespectsextremelypeculiar，andIfeelatlastthatIamindeedinFOREIGNPARTS。Itis，however，atrulyelegantcity（verysuperiortoNewYork），andI
　　havespentagreatdealoftimeinvisitingthevariousmonumentsandpalaces。Iwon’tgiveyouanaccountofallmywanderings，thoughI
　　havebeenmostindefatigable；forIamkeeping，asItoldyoubefore，amostEXHAUSTIVEjournal，whichIwillallowyouthePRIVILEGEofreadingonmyreturntoBangor。Iamgettingonremarkablywell，andImustsayIamsometimessurprisedatmyuniversalgoodfortune。Itonlyshowswhatalittleenergyandcommon—sensewillaccomplish。I
　　havediscoverednoneoftheseobjectionstoayoungladytravellinginEuropebyherselfofwhichweheardsomuchbeforeIleft，andI
　　don’texpectIevershall，forIcertainlydon’tmeantolookforthem。IknowwhatIwant，andIalwaysmanagetogetit。
　　Ihavereceivedagreatdealofpoliteness——someofitreallymostpressing，andIhaveexperiencednodrawbackswhatever。Ihavemadeagreatmanypleasantacquaintancesintravellinground（bothladiesandgentlemen），andhadagreatmanymostinterestingtalks。Ihavecollectedagreatdealofinformation，forwhichIreferyoutomyjournal。Iassureyoumyjournalisgoingtobeasplendidthing。I
　　dojustexactlyasIdoinBangor，andIfindIdoperfectlyright；
　　andatanyrate，Idon’tcareifIdon’t。Ididn’tcometoEuropetoleadamerelyconventionallife；IcoulddothatatBangor。YouknowIneverWOULDdoitatBangor，soitisn’tlikelyIamgoingtomakemyselfmiserableoverhere。SolongasIaccomplishwhatIdesire，andmakemymoneyholdout，Ishallregardthethingasasuccess。
　　SometimesIfeelratherlonely，especiallyintheevening；butI
　　generallymanagetointerestmyselfinsomethingorinsomeone。IntheeveningIusuallyreadupabouttheobjectsofinterestIhavevisitedduringtheday，orIpostupmyjournal。SometimesIgotothetheatre；orelseIplaythepianointhepublicparlour。Thepublicparlouratthehotelisn’tmuch；butthepianoisbetterthanthatfearfuloldthingattheSebagoHouse。SometimesIgodownstairsandtalktotheladywhokeepsthebooks——aFrenchlady，whoisremarkablypolite。Sheisverypretty，andalwayswearsablackdress，withthemostbeautifulfit；shespeaksalittleEnglish；shetellsmeshehadtolearnitinordertoconversewiththeAmericanswhocomeinsuchnumberstothishotel。ShehasgivenmeagreatdealofinformationaboutthepositionofwomaninFrance，andmuchofitisveryencouraging。ButshehastoldmeatthesametimesomethingsthatIshouldnotliketowritetoyou（Iamhesitatingevenaboutputtingthemintomyjournal），especiallyifmylettersaretobehandedroundinthefamily。IassureyoutheyappeartotalkaboutthingsherethatweneverthinkofmentioningatBangor，orevenofthinkingabout。Sheseemstothinkshecantellmeeverything，becauseItoldherIwastravellingforgeneralculture。Well，IDOwanttoknowsomuchthatitseemssometimesasifIwantedtoknoweverything；andyettherearesomethingsthatI
　　thinkIdon’twanttoknow。But，asageneralthing，everythingisintenselyinteresting；Idon’tmeanonlyeverythingthatthisFrenchladytellsme，buteverythingIseeandhearformyself。IfeelreallyasifIshouldgainallIdesire。
　　ImeetagreatmanyAmericans，who，asageneralthing，Imustsay，arenotaspolitetomeasthepeopleoverhere。Thepeopleoverhere——especiallythegentlemen——aremuchmorewhatIshouldcallATTENTIVE。Idon’tknowwhetherAmericansaremoreSINCERE；I
　　haven’tyetmadeupmymindaboutthat。TheonlydrawbackI
　　experienceiswhenAmericanssometimesexpresssurprisethatIshouldbetravellingroundalone；soyouseeitdoesn’tcomefromEuropeans。
　　Ialwayshavemyanswerready；"Forgeneralculture，toacquirethelanguages，andtoseeEuropeformyself；"andthatgenerallyseemstosatisfythem。Dearmother，mymoneyholdsoutverywell，anditIS
　　realinteresting。
　　CHAPTERII
　　FROMTHESAMETOTHESAME。
　　September16th。
　　SinceIlastwrotetoyouIhaveleftthathotel，andcometoliveinaFrenchfamily。It’sakindofboarding—housecombinedwithakindofschool；onlyit’snotlikeanAmericanhoarding—house，norlikeanAmericanschooleither。Therearefourorfivepeopleherethathavecometolearnthelanguage——nottotakelessons，buttohaveanopportunityforconversation。Iwasverygladtocometosuchaplace，forIhadbeguntorealisethatIwasnotmakingmuchprogresswiththeFrench。ItseemedtomethatIshouldfeelashamedtohavespenttwomonthsinParis，andnottohaveacquiredmoreinsightintothelanguage。IhadalwaysheardsomuchofFrenchconversation，andIfoundIwashavingnomoreopportunitytopractiseitthanifIhadremainedatBangor。Infact，IusedtohearagreatdealmoreatBangor，fromthoseFrenchCanadiansthatcamedowntocuttheice，thanIsawIshouldeverhearatthathotel。TheladythatkeptthebooksseemedtowantsomuchtotalktomeinEnglish（forthesakeofpractice，too，Isuppose），thatIcouldn’tbeartoletherknowI
　　didn’tlikeit。ThechambermaidwasIrish，andallthewaiterswereGerman，sothatIneverheardawordofFrenchspoken。Isupposeyoumighthearagreatdealintheshops；only，asIdon’tbuyanything——
　　Iprefertospendmymoneyforpurposesofculture——Idon’thavethatadvantage。
　　Ihavebeenthinkingsomeoftakingateacher，butIamwellacquaintedwiththegrammaralready，andteachersalwayskeepyoubotheringovertheverbs。Iwasagooddealtroubled，forIfeltasifIdidn’twanttogoawaywithouthaving，atleast，gotageneralideaofFrenchconversation。Thetheatregivesyouagooddealofinsight，andasItoldyouinmylast，Igoagooddealtoplacesofamusement。Ifindnodifficultywhateveringoingtosuchplacesalone，andamalwaystreatedwiththepolitenesswhich，asItoldyoubefore，Iencountereverywhere。Iseeplentyofotherladiesalone（mostlyFrench），andtheygenerallyseemtobeenjoyingthemselvesasmuchasI。ButatthetheatreeveryonetalkssofastthatIcanscarcelymakeoutwhattheysay；and，besides，thereareagreatmanyvulgarexpressionswhichitisunnecessarytolearn。Butitwasthetheatre，nevertheless，thatputmeonthetrack。TheverynextdayafterIwrotetoyoulastIwenttothePalaisRoyal，whichisoneoftheprincipaltheatresinParis。Itisverysmall，butitisverycelebrated，andinmyguide—bookitismarkedwithTWOSTARS，whichisasignofimportanceattachedonlytoFIRST—CLASSobjectsofinterest。ButafterIhadbeentherehalfanhourIfoundIcouldn’tunderstandasinglewordoftheplay，theygabbleditoffsofast，andtheymadeuseofsuchpeculiarexpressions。Ifeltagooddealdisappointedandtroubled——IwasafraidIshouldn’tgainallIhadcomefor。ButwhileIwasthinkingitover——thinkingwhatISHOULD
　　do——Iheardtwogentlementalkingbehindme。Itwasbetweentheacts，andIcouldn’thelplisteningtowhattheysaid。TheyweretalkingEnglish，butIguesstheywereAmericans。
　　"Well，"saidoneofthem，"italldependsonwhatyouareafter。I’mFrench；that’swhatI’mafter。"
　　"Well，"saidtheother，"I’mafterArt。"
　　"Well，"saidthefirst，"I’mafterArttoo；butI’mafterFrenchmost。"
　　Then，dearmother，Iamsorrytosaythesecondonesworealittle。
　　Hesaid，"Oh，damnFrench！"
　　"No，Iwon’tdamnFrench，"saidhisfriend。"I’llacquireit——that’swhatI’lldowithit。I’llgorightintoafamily。"
　　"Whatfamily’llyougointo？"
　　"IntosomeFrenchfamily。That’stheonlywaytodo——togotosomeplacewhereyoucantalk。Ifyou’reafterArt，youwanttosticktothegalleries；youwanttogorightthroughtheLouvre，roombyroom；
　　youwanttotakearoomaday，orsomethingofthatsort。But，ifyouwanttoacquireFrench，thethingistolookoutforafamily。
　　TherearelotsofFrenchfamiliesherethattakeyoutoboardandteachyou。Mysecondcousin——thatyoungladyItoldyouabout——shegotinwithacrowdlikethat，andtheybookedherrightupinthreemonths。Theyjusttookherrightinandtheytalkedtoher。That’swhattheydotoyou；theysetyourightdownandtheytalkATyou。
　　You’vegottounderstandthem；youcan’thelpyourself。Thatfamilymycousinwaswithhasmovedawaysomewhere，orIshouldtryandgetinwiththem。Theywereverysmartpeople，thatfamily；aftersheleft，mycousincorrespondedwiththeminFrench。ButImeantofindsomeothercrowd，ifittakesalotoftrouble！
　　Ilistenedtoallthiswithgreatinterest，andwhenhespokeabouthiscousinIwasonthepointofturningaroundtoaskhimtheaddressofthefamilythatshewaswith；butthenextmomenthesaidtheyhadmovedaway；soIsatstill。Theothergentleman，however，didn’tseemtobeaffectedinthesamewayasIwas。
　　"Well，"hesaid，"youmayfollowupthatifyoulike；Imeantofollowupthepictures。Idon’tbelievethereisevergoingtobeanyconsiderabledemandintheUnitedStatesforFrench；butIcanpromiseyouthatinabouttenyearsthere’llbeabigdemandforArt！
　　Anditwon’tbetemporaryeither。"
　　Thatremarkmaybeverytrue，butIdon’tcareanythingaboutthedemand；IwanttoknowFrenchforitsownsake。Idon’twanttothinkIhavebeenallthiswhilewithouthavinggainedaninsight……Theverynextday，Iaskedtheladywhokeptthebooksatthehotelwhethersheknewofanyfamilythatcouldtakemetoboardandgivemethebenefitoftheirconversation。Sheinstantlythrewupherhands，withseverallittleshrillcries（intheirFrenchway，youknow），andtoldmethatherdearestfriendkeptaregularplaceofthatkind。IfshehadknownIwaslookingoutforsuchaplaceshewouldhavetoldmebefore；shehadnotspokenofitherself，becauseshedidn’twishtoinjurethehotelbybeingthecauseofmygoingaway。Shetoldmethiswasacharmingfamily，whohadoftenreceivedAmericanladies（andothersaswell）whowishedtofollowupthelanguage，andshewassureIshouldbedelightedwiththem。Soshegavemetheiraddress，andofferedtogowithmetointroduceme。
　　ButIwasinsuchahurrythatIwentoffbymyself；andIhadnotroubleinfindingthesegoodpeople。Theyweredelightedtoreceiveme，andIwasverymuchpleasedwithwhatIsawofthem。Theyseemedtohaveplentyofconversation，andtherewillbenotroubleaboutthat。
　　Icameheretostayaboutthreedaysago，andbythistimeIhaveseenagreatdealofthem。Thepriceofboardstruckmeasratherhigh；butImustrememberthataquantityofconversationisthrownin。Ihaveaveryprettylittleroom——withoutanycarpet，butwithsevenmirrors，twoclocks，andfivecurtains。IwasratherdisappointedafterIarrivedtofindthatthereareseveralotherAmericanshereforthesamepurposeasmyself。AtleasttherearethreeAmericansandtwoEnglishpeople；andalsoaGermangentleman。
　　Iamafraid，therefore，ourconversationwillberathermixed，butI
　　havenotyettimetojudge。ItrytotalkwithMadamedeMaisonrougeallIcan（sheistheladyofthehouse，andtheREALfamilyconsistsonlyofherselfandhertwodaughters）。Theyareallmostelegant，interestingwomen，andIamsureweshallbecomeintimatefriends。I
　　willwriteyoumoreabouttheminmynext。TellWilliamPlattI
　　don’tcarewhathedoes。
　　CHAPTERIII
　　FROMMISSVIOLETRAY，INPARIS，TOMISSAGNESRICH，INNEWYORK。
　　September21st。
　　WehadhardlygotherewhenfatherreceivedatelegramsayinghewouldhavetocomerightbacktoNewYork。Itwasforsomethingabouthisbusiness——Idon’tknowexactlywhat；youknowIneverunderstandthosethings，neverwantto。Wehadjustgotsettledatthehotel，insomecharmingrooms，andmotherandI，asyoumayimagine，weregreatlyannoyed。Fatherisextremelyfussy，asyouknow，andhisfirstidea，assoonashefoundheshouldhavetogoback，wasthatweshouldgobackwithhim。HedeclaredhewouldneverleaveusinParisalone，andthatwemustreturnandcomeoutagain。Idon’tknowwhathethoughtwouldhappentous；Isupposehethoughtweshouldbetooextravagant。It’sfather’stheorythatwearealwaysrunningupbills，whereasalittleobservationwouldshowhimthatwewearthesameoldRAGSFORMONTHS。Butfatherhasnoobservation；hehasnothingbuttheories。MotherandI，however，have，fortunately，agreatdealofPRACTICE，andwesucceededinmakinghimunderstandthatwewouldn’tbudgefromParis，andthatwewouldratherbechoppedintosmallpiecesthancrossthatdreadfuloceanagain。So，atlast，hedecidedtogobackalone，andtoleaveushereforthreemonths。But，toshowyouhowfussyheis，herefusedtoletusstayatthehotel，andinsistedthatweshouldgointoaFAMILY。Idon’tknowwhatputsuchanideaintohishead，unlessitwassomeadvertisementthathesawinoneoftheAmericanpapersthatarepublishedhere。
　　TherearefamiliesherewhoreceiveAmericanandEnglishpeopletolivewiththem，underthepretenceofteachingthemFrench。Youmayimaginewhatpeopletheyare——Imeanthefamiliesthemselves。ButtheAmericanswhochoosethispeculiarmannerofseeingParismustbeactuallyjustasbad。MotherandIwerehorrified，anddeclaredthatmainforceshouldnotremoveusfromthehotel。Butfatherhasawayofarrivingathisendswhichismoreefficientthanviolence。Heworriesandfusses；he"nags，"asweusedtosayatschool；and，whenmotherandIarequitewornout，histriumphisassured。MotherisusuallywornoutmoreeasilythanI，andsheendsbysidingwithfather；sothat，atlast，whentheycombinetheirforcesagainstpoorlittleme，Ihavetosuccumb。Youshouldhaveheardthewayfatherwentonaboutthis"family"plan；hetalkedtoeveryonehesawaboutit；heusedtogoroundtothebanker’sandtalktothepeoplethere—
　　—thepeopleinthepost—office；heusedtotryandexchangeideasaboutitwiththewaitersatthehotel。Hesaiditwouldbemoresafe，morerespectable，moreeconomical；thatIshouldperfectmyFrench；thatmotherwouldlearnhowaFrenchhouseholdisconducted；
　　thatheshouldfeelmoreeasy，andfivehundredreasonsmore。Theywerenoneofthemgood，butthatmadenodifference。It’sallhumbug，histalkingabouteconomy，wheneveryoneknowsthatbusinessinAmericahascompletelyrecovered，thattheprostrationisallover，andthatimmensefortunesarebeingmade。Wehavebeeneconomisingforthelastfiveyears，andIsupposedwecameabroadtoreapthebenefitsofit。
　　AsformyFrench，itisquiteasperfectasIwantittobe。（I
　　assureyouIamoftensurprisedatmyownfluency，and，whenIgetalittlemorepracticeinthegendersandtheidioms，Ishalldoverywellinthisrespect。）Tomakealongstoryshort，however，fathercarriedhispoint，asusual；motherbaselydesertedmeatthelastmoment，and，afterholdingoutaloneforthreedays，Itoldthemtodowithmewhattheypleased！FatherlostthreesteamersinsuccessionbyremaininginParistoarguewithme。YouknowheisliketheschoolmasterinGoldsmith’s"DesertedVillage"——"e’enthoughvanquished，hewouldarguestill。"Heandmotherwenttolookatsomeseventeenfamilies（theyhadgottheaddressessomewhere），whileI
　　retiredtomysofa，andwouldhavenothingtodowithit。Atlasttheymadearrangements，andIwastransportedtotheestablishmentfromwhichInowwriteyou。IwriteyoufromthebosomofaParisianmenage——fromthedepthsofasecond—rateboarding—house。
　　FatheronlyleftParisafterhehadseenuswhathecallscomfortablysettledhere，andhadinformedMadamedeMaisonrouge（themistressoftheestablishment——theheadofthe"family"）thathewishedmyFrenchpronunciationespeciallyattendedto。Thepronunciation，asithappens，isjustwhatIammostathomein；ifhehadsaidmygendersormyidiomstherewouldhavebeensomesense。Butpoorfatherhasnotact，andthisdefectisespeciallymarkedsincehehasbeeninEurope。Hewillbeabsent，however，forthreemonths，andmotherandIshallbreathemorefreely；thesituationwillbelessintense。I
　　mustconfessthatwebreathemorefreelythanIexpected，inthisplace，wherewehavebeenforaboutaweek。Iwassure，beforewecame，thatitwouldprovetobeanestablishmentoftheLOWEST
　　DESCRIPTION；butImustsaythat，inthisrespect，Iamagreeablydisappointed。TheFrencharesocleverthattheyknowevenhowtomanageaplaceofthiskind。Ofcourseitisverydisagreeabletolivewithstrangers，butas，afterall，ifIwerenotstayingwithMadamedeMaisonrougeIshouldnotbelivingintheFaubourgSt。
　　Germain，Idon’tknowthatfromthepointofviewofexclusivenessitisanygreatlosstobehere。
　　Ourroomsareveryprettilyarranged，andthetableisremarkablygood。Mammathinksthewholething——theplaceandthepeople，themannersandcustoms——veryamusing；butmammaisveryeasilyamused。
　　Asforme，youknow，allthatIaskistobeletalone，andnottohavepeople’ssocietyforceduponme。Ihaveneverwantedforsocietyofmyownchoosing，and，solongasIretainpossessionofmyfaculties，Idon’tsupposeIevershall。AsIsaid，however，theplaceisverywellmanaged，andIsucceedindoingasIplease，which，youknow，ismymostcherishedpursuit。MadamedeMaisonrougehasagreatdealoftact——muchmorethanpoorfather。Sheiswhattheycallhereabellefemme，whichmeansthatsheisatall，uglywoman，withstyle。Shedressesverywell，andhasagreatdealoftalk；but，thoughsheisaverygoodimitationofalady，Ineverseeherbehindthedinner—table，intheevening，smilingandbowing，asthepeoplecomein，andlookingallthewhileatthedishesandtheservants，withoutthinkingofadamedecomptoirbloominginacornerofashoporarestaurant。Iamsurethat，inspiteofherfinename，shewasonceadamedecomptoir。Iamalsosurethat，inspiteofhersmilesandtheprettythingsshesaystoeveryone，shehatesusall，andwouldliketomurderus。Sheisahard，cleverFrenchwoman，whowouldliketoamuseherselfandenjoyherParis，andshemustbeboredtodeathatpassingallhertimeinthemidstofstupidEnglishpeoplewhomumblebrokenFrenchather。Somedayshewillpoisonthesouporthevinrouge；butIhopethatwillnotbeuntilaftermotherandIshallhavelefther。Shehastwodaughters，who，exceptthatoneisdecidedlypretty，aremeagreimitationsofherself。
　　The"family，"fortherest，consistsaltogetherofourbelovedcompatriots，andofstillmorebelovedEnglanders。ThereisanEnglishmanhere，withhissister，andtheyseemtoberathernicepeople。Heisremarkablyhandsome，butexcessivelyaffectedandpatronising，especiallytousAmericans；andIhopetohaveachanceofbitinghisheadoffbeforelong。Thesisterisverypretty，and，apparently，verynice；but，incostume，sheisBritanniaincarnate。
　　ThereisaverypleasantlittleFrenchman——whentheyarenicetheyarecharming——andaGermandoctor，abigblondeman，wholookslikeagreatwhitebull；andtwoAmericans，besidesmotherandme。OneofthemisayoungmanfromBoston，——anaestheticyoungman，whotalksaboutitsbeing"arealCorotday，"etc。，andayoungwoman——agirl，afemale，Idon’tknowwhattocallher——fromVermont，orMinnesota，orsomesuchplace。ThisyoungwomanisthemostextraordinaryspecimenofartlessYankeeismthatIeverencountered；sheisreallytoohorrible。IhavebeenthreetimestoClementineaboutyourunderskirt，etc。
　　CHAPTERIV
　　FROMLOUISLEVERETT，INPARIS，TOHARVARDTREMONT，INBOSTON。
　　September25th。
　　MydearHarvard——Ihavecarriedoutmyplan，ofwhichIgaveyouahintinmylast，andIonlyregretthatIshouldnothavedoneitbefore。Itishumannature，afterall，thatisthemostinterestingthingintheworld，anditonlyrevealsitselftothetrulyearnestseeker。Thereisawantofearnestnessinthatlifeofhotelsandrailroadtrains，whichsomanyofourcountrymenarecontenttoleadinthisstrangeOldWorld，andIwasdistressedtofindhowfarI，myself；hadbeenledalongthedusty，beatentrack。Ihad，however，constantlywantedtoturnasideintomoreunfrequentedways；toplungebeneaththesurfaceandseewhatIshoulddiscover。Buttheopportunityhadalwaysbeenmissing；somehow，Inevermeetthoseopportunitiesthatwehearaboutandreadabout——thethingsthathappentopeopleinnovelsandbiographies。AndyetIamalwaysonthewatchtotakeadvantageofanyopeningthatmaypresentitself；I
　　amalwayslookingoutforexperiences，forsensations——Imightalmostsayforadventures。
　　ThegreatthingistoLIVE，youknow——tofeel，tobeconsciousofone’spossibilities；nottopassthroughlifemechanicallyandinsensibly，likealetterthroughthepost—office。Therearetimes，mydearHarvard，whenIfeelasifIwerereallycapableofeverything——capabledetout，astheysayhere——ofthegreatestexcessesaswellasthegreatestheroism。Oh，tobeabletosaythatonehaslived——qu’onavecu，astheysayhere——thatideaexercisesanindefinableattractionforme。Youwill，perhaps，reply，itiseasytosayit；butthethingistomakepeoplebelieveyou！And，then，I
　　don’twantanysecond—hand，spurioussensations；Iwanttheknowledgethatleavesatrace——thatleavesstrangescarsandstainsandreveriesbehindit！ButIamafraidIshockyou，perhapsevenfrightenyou。
　　IfyourepeatmyremarkstoanyoftheWestCedarStreetcircle，besureyoutonethemdownasyourdiscretionwillsuggest。Foryourself；youwillknowthatIhavealwayshadanintensedesiretoseesomethingofREALFRENCHLIFE。YouareacquaintedwithmygreatsympathywiththeFrench；withmynaturaltendencytoenterintotheFrenchwayoflookingatlife。Isympathisewiththeartistictemperament；Irememberyouusedsometimestohinttomethatyouthoughtmyowntemperamenttooartistic。Idon’tthinkthatinBostonthereisanyrealsympathywiththeartistictemperament；wetendtomakeeverythingamatterofrightandwrong。AndinBostononecan’tLIVE——onnepeutpasvivre，astheysayhere。Idon’tmeanonecan’treside——foragreatmanypeoplemanagethat；butonecan’tliveaesthetically——Imayalmostventuretosay，sensuously。ThisiswhyIhavealwaysbeensomuchdrawntotheFrench，whoaresoaesthetic，sosensuous。IamsosorrythatTheophileGautierhaspassedaway；Ishouldhavelikedsomuchtogoandseehim，andtellhimallthatIowehim。HewaslivingwhenIwasherebefore；but，youknow，atthattimeIwastravellingwiththeJohnsons，whoarenotaesthetic，andwhousedtomakemefeelratherashamedofmyartistictemperament。IfIhadgonetoseethegreatapostleofbeauty，Ishouldhavehadtogoclandestinely——encachette，astheysayhere；andthatisnotmynature；Iliketodoeverythingfrankly，freely，naivement，augrandjour。Thatisthegreatthing——tobefree，tobefrank，tobenaif。Doesn’tMatthewArnoldsaythatsomewhere——orisitSwinburne，orPater？
　　WhenIwaswiththeJohnsonseverythingwassuperficial；and，asregardslife，everythingwasbroughtdowntothequestionofrightandwrong。Theyweretoodidactic；artshouldneverbedidactic；andwhatislifebutanart？Paterhassaidthatsowell，somewhere。
　　WiththeJohnsonsIamafraidIlostmanyopportunities；thetonewasgrayandcottony，Imightalmostsaywoolly。Butnow，asItellyou，Ihavedeterminedtotakerightholdformyself；tolookrightintoEuropeanlife，andjudgeitwithoutJohnsonianprejudices。IhavetakenupmyresidenceinaFrenchfamily，inarealParisianhouse。
　　YouseeIhavethecourageofmyopinions；Idon’tshrinkfromcarryingoutmytheorythatthegreatthingistoLIVE。
　　YouknowIhavealwaysbeenintenselyinterestedinBalzac，whonevershrankfromthereality，andwhosealmostLURIDpicturesofParisianlifehaveoftenhauntedmeinmywanderingsthroughtheoldwicked—
　　lookingstreetsontheothersideoftheriver。Iamonlysorrythatmynewfriends——myFrenchfamily——donotliveintheoldcity——aucoeurduvieuxParis，astheysayhere。TheyliveonlyintheBoulevardHaussman，whichislesspicturesque；butinspiteofthistheyhaveagreatdealoftheBalzactone。MadamedeMaisonrougebelongstooneoftheoldestandproudestfamiliesinFrance；butshehashadreverseswhichhavecompelledhertoopenanestablishmentinwhichalimitednumberoftravellers，whoarewearyofthebeatentrack，whohavethesenseoflocalcolour——sheexplainsitherself；
　　sheexpressesitsowell——inshort，toopenasortofboarding—house。
　　Idon’tseewhyIshouldnot，afterall，usethatexpression，foritisthecorrelativeofthetermpensionbourgeoise，employedbyBalzacinthePereGoriot。DoyourememberthepensionbourgeoiseofMadameVauquerneedeConflans？Butthisestablishmentisnotatalllikethat：andindeeditisnotatallbourgeois；thereissomethingdistinguished，somethingaristocratic，aboutit。ThePensionVauquerwasdark，brown，sordid，graisseuse；butthisisinquiteadifferenttone，withhigh，clear，lightly—drapedwindows，tender，subtle，almostmorbid，colours，andfurnitureinelegant，studied，reed—likelines。MadamedeMaisonrougeremindsmeofMadameHulot——doyouremember"labelleMadameHulot？"——inLesBarentsPauvres。Shehasagreatcharm；alittleartificial，alittlefatigued，withalittlesuggestionofhiddenthingsinherlife；butIhavealwaysbeensensitivetothecharmoffatigue，ofduplicity。
　　Iamratherdisappointed，Iconfess，inthesocietyIfindhere；itisnotsolocal，socharacteristic，asIcouldhavedesired。Indeed，totellthetruth，itisnotlocalatall；but，ontheotherhand，itiscosmopolitan，andthereisagreatadvantageinthat。WeareFrench，weareEnglish，weareAmerican，weareGerman；and，I
　　believe，therearesomeRussiansandHungariansexpected。Iammuchinterestedinthestudyofnationaltypes；incomparing，contrasting，seizingthestrongpoints，theweakpoints，thepointofviewofeach。Itisinterestingtoshiftone’spointofview——toenterintostrange，exoticwaysoflookingatlife。
　　TheAmericantypesherearenot，Iamsorrytosay，sointerestingastheymightbe，and，exceptingmyself；areexclusivelyfeminine。WeareTHIN，mydearHarvard；wearepale，wearesharp。Thereissomethingmeagreaboutus；ourlineiswantinginroundness，ourcompositioninrichness。Welacktemperament；wedon’tknowhowtolive；nousnesavonspasvivre，astheysayhere。TheAmericantemperamentisrepresented（puttingmyselfaside，andIoftenthinkthatmytemperamentisnotatallAmerican）byayounggirlandhermother，andanotheryounggirlwithouthermother——withouthermotheroranyattendantorappendagewhatever。Theseyounggirlsarerathercurioustypes；theyhaveacertaininterest，theyhaveacertaingrace，buttheyaredisappointingtoo；theydon’tgofar；theydon’tkeepalltheypromise；theydon’tsatisfytheimagination。Theyarecold，slim，sexless；thephysiqueisnotgenerous，notabundant；itisonlythedrapery，theskirtsandfurbelows（thatis，Imeanintheyoungladywhohashermother）thatareabundant。Theyareverydifferent：oneofthemallelegance，allexpensiveness，withanairofhighfashion，fromNewYork；theotheraplain，pure，clear—eyed，straight—waisted，straight—steppingmaidenfromtheheartofNewEngland。Andyettheyareverymuchaliketoo——morealikethantheywouldcaretothinkthemselvesfortheyeyeeachotherwithcold，mistrustful，deprecatinglooks。TheyarebothspecimensoftheemancipatedyoungAmericangirl——practical，positive，passionless，subtle，andknowing，asyouplease，eithertoomuchortoolittle。
　　Andyet，asIsay，theyhaveacertainstamp，acertaingrace；Iliketotalkwiththem，tostudythem。
　　ThefairNewYorkeris，sometimes，veryamusing；sheasksmeifeveryoneinBostontalkslikeme——ifeveryoneisas"intellectual"asyourpoorcorrespondent。SheisforeverthrowingBostonupatme；I
　　can’tgetridofBoston。Theotheronerubsitintometoo；butinadifferentway；sheseemstofeelaboutitasagoodMahommedanfeelstowardMecca，andregardsitasakindoffocusoflightforthewholehumanrace。PoorlittleBoston，whatnonsenseistalkedinthyname！ButthisNewEnglandmaidenis，inherway，astrangetype：
　　sheistravellingalloverEuropealone——"toseeit，"shesays，"forherself。"Forherself！Whatcanthatstiffslimselfofhersdowithsuchsights，suchvisions！Shelooksateverything，goeseverywhere，passesherway，withherclearquieteyeswideopen；
　　skirtingtheedgeofobsceneabysseswithoutsuspectingthem；pushingthroughbrambleswithouttearingherrobe；exciting，withoutknowingit，themostinjurioussuspicions；andalwaysholdinghercourse，passionless，stainless，fearless，charmless！Itisalittlefigureinwhich，afterall，ifyoucangettherightpointofview，thereissomethingratherstriking。
　　Bywayofcontrast，thereisalovelyEnglishgirl，witheyesasshyasviolets，andavoiceassweet！ShehasasweetGainsboroughhead，andagreatGainsboroughhat，withamightyplumeinfrontofit，whichmakesashadowoverherquietEnglisheyes。Thenshehasasage—greenrobe，"mystic，wonderful，"allembroideredwithsubtledevicesandflowers，andbirdsoftendertint；verystraightandtightinfront，andadornedbehind，alongthespine，withlarge，strange，iridescentbuttons。Therevivaloftaste，ofthesenseofbeauty，inEngland，interestsmedeeply；whatisthereinasimplerowofspinalbuttonstomakeonedream——todonnorarever，astheysayhere？Ithinkthatagreataestheticrenascenceisathand，andthatagreatlightwillbekindledinEngland，foralltheworldtosee。TherearespiritstherethatIshouldliketocommunewith；I
　　thinktheywouldunderstandme。
　　ThisgraciousEnglishmaiden，withherclingingrobes，heramuletsandgirdles，withsomethingquaintandangularinherstep，hercarriagesomethingmediaevalandGothic，inthedetailsofherpersonanddress，thislovelyEvelynVane（isn’titabeautifulname？）isdeeply，delightfullypicturesque。Sheismuchawoman——elleestbienfemme，astheysayhere；simpler，softer，rounder，richerthantheyounggirlsIspokeofjustnow。Notmuchtalk——agreat，sweetsilence。Thenthevioleteye——theveryeyeitselfseemstoblush；
　　thegreatshadowyhat，makingthebrowsoquiet；thestrange，clinging，clutching，picturedraiment！AsIsay，itisaverygracious，tendertype。Shehasherbrotherwithher，whoisabeautiful，fair—haired，gray—eyedyoungEnglishman。Heispurelyobjective；andhe，too，isveryplastic。
　　CHAPTERV
　　FROMMIRANDAHOPETOHERMOTHER。
　　September26th。
　　Youmustnotbefrightenedatnothearingfrommeoftener；itisnotbecauseIaminanytrouble，butbecauseIamgettingonsowell。IfIwereinanytroubleIdon’tthinkIshouldwritetoyou；Ishouldjustkeepquietandseeitthroughmyself。Butthatisnotthecaseatpresentand，ifIdon’twritetoyou，itisbecauseIamsodeeplyinterestedoverherethatIdon’tseemtofindtime。Itwasarealprovidencethatbroughtmetothishouse，where，inspiteofallobstacles，Iamabletodomuchgoodwork。IwonderhowIfindthetimeforallIdo；butwhenIthinkthatIhaveonlygotayearinEurope，IfeelasifIwouldn’tsacrificeasinglehour。
　　TheobstaclesIrefertoarethedisadvantagesIhaveinlearningFrench，therebeingsomanypersonsaroundmespeakingEnglish，andthat，asyoumaysay，intheverybosomofaFrenchfamily。ItseemsasifyouheardEnglisheverywhere；butIcertainlydidn’texpecttofinditinaplacelikethis。Iamnotdiscouraged，however，andI
　　talkFrenchallIcan，evenwiththeotherEnglishboarders。ThenI
　　havealessoneverydayfromMissMaisonrouge（theelderdaughteroftheladyofthehouse），andFrenchconversationeveryeveninginthesalon，fromeighttoeleven，withMadameherself，andsomefriendsofhersthatoftencomein。Hercousin，Mr。Verdier，ayoungFrenchgentleman，isfortunatelystayingwithher，andImakeapointoftalkingwithhimasmuchaspossible。IhaveEXTRAPRIVATELESSONS
　　fromhim，andIoftengoouttowalkwithhim。Somenight，soon，heistoaccompanymetotheopera。WehavealsoamostinterestingplanofvisitingallthegalleriesinParistogether。LikemostoftheFrench，heconverseswithgreatfluency，andIfeelasifI
　　shouldreallygainfromhim。Heisremarkablyhandsome，andextremelypolite——payingagreatmanycompliments，which，Iamafraid，arenotalwaysSINCERE。WhenIreturntoBangorIwilltellyousomeofthethingshehassaidtome。Ithinkyouwillconsiderthemextremelycurious，andverybeautifulINTHEIRWAY。
　　Theconversationintheparlour（fromeighttoeleven）isoftenremarkablybrilliant，andIoftenwishthatyou，orsomeoftheBangorfolks，couldbetheretoenjoyit。Eventhoughyoucouldn’tunderstanditIthinkyouwouldliketohearthewaytheygoon；theyseemtoexpresssomuch。IsometimesthinkthatatBangortheydon’texpressenough（butitseemsasifoverthere，therewaslesstoexpress）。Itseemsasif；atBangor，therewerethingsthatfolksnevertriedtosay；buthere，IhavelearnedfromstudyingFrenchthatyouhavenoideawhatyoucansay，beforeyoutry。AtBangortheyseemtogiveitupbeforehand；theydon’tmakeanyeffort。（I
　　don’tsaythisintheleastforWilliamPlatt，inparticular。
　　IamsureIdon’tknowwhattheywillthinkofmewhenIgetback。
　　Itseemsasif；overhere，Ihadlearnedtocomeoutwitheverything。
　　IsupposetheywillthinkIamnotsincere；butisn’titmoresinceretocomeoutwiththingsthantoconcealthem？Ihavebecomeverygoodfriendswitheveryoneinthehouse——thatis（yousee，IAM
　　sincere），withALMOSTeveryone。ItisthemostinterestingcircleI
　　everwasin。There’sagirlhere，anAmerican，thatIdon’tlikesomuchastherest；butthatisonlybecauseshewon’tletme。I
　　shouldliketolikeher，eversomuch，becausesheismostlovelyandmostattractive；butshedoesn’tseemtowanttoknowmeortolikeme。ShecomesfromNewYork，andsheisremarkablypretty，withbeautifuleyesandthemostdelicatefeatures；sheisalsoremarkablyelegant——inthisrespectwouldbearcomparisonwithanyoneIhaveseenoverhere。Butitseemsasifshedidn’twanttorecognisemeorassociatewithme；asifshewantedtomakeadifferencebetweenus。Itislikepeopletheycall"haughty"inbooks。Ihaveneverseenanyonelikethatbefore——anyonethatwantedtomakeadifference；andatfirstIwasrightdowninterested，sheseemedtomesolikeaproudyoungladyinanovel。Ikeptsayingtomyselfallday，"haughty，haughty，"andIwishedshewouldkeeponso。Butshedidkeepon；shekeptontoolong；andthenIbegantofeelhurt。

已是第一章

查看目录