IamaCheapJack，andmyownfather’snamewasWillumMarigold。ItwasinhislifetimesupposedbysomethathisnamewasWilliam，butmyownfatheralwaysconsistentlysaid，No，itwasWillum。OnwhichpointIcontentmyselfwithlookingattheargumentthisway：Ifamanisnotallowedtoknowhisownnameinafreecountry，howmuchisheallowedtoknowinalandofslavery？AstolookingattheargumentthroughthemediumoftheRegister，WillumMarigoldcomeintotheworldbeforeRegisterscomeupmuch，——andwentoutofittoo。Theywouldn’thavebeengreatlyinhislineneither，iftheyhadchancedtocomeupbeforehim。
　　IwasbornontheQueen’shighway，butitwastheKing’satthattime。Adoctorwasfetchedtomyownmotherbymyownfather，whenittookplaceonacommon；andinconsequenceofhisbeingaverykindgentleman，andacceptingnofeebutatea—tray，IwasnamedDoctor，outofgratitudeandcomplimenttohim。Thereyouhaveme。
　　DoctorMarigold。
　　Iamatpresentamiddle—agedmanofabroadishbuild，incords，leggings，andasleevedwaistcoatthestringsofwhichisalwaysgonebehind。Repairthemhowyouwill，theygolikefiddle—strings。
　　Youhavebeentothetheatre，andyouhaveseenoneofthewiolin—
　　playersscrewuphiswiolin，afterlisteningtoitasifithadbeenwhisperingthesecrettohimthatitfeareditwasoutoforder，andthenyouhavehearditsnap。That’sasexactlysimilartomywaistcoatasawaistcoatandawiolincanbelikeoneanother。
　　Iampartialtoawhitehat，andIlikeashawlroundmyneckworelooseandeasy。Sittingdownismyfavouriteposture。IfIhaveatasteinpointofpersonaljewelry，itismother—of—pearlbuttons。
　　Thereyouhavemeagain，aslargeaslife。
　　Thedoctorhavingacceptedatea—tray，you’llguessthatmyfatherwasaCheapJackbeforeme。Youareright。Hewas。Itwasaprettytray。Itrepresentedalargeladygoingalongaserpentiningup—hillgravel—walk，toattendalittlechurch。Twoswanshadlikewisecomeastraywiththesameintentions。WhenIcallheralargelady，Idon’tmeaninpointofbreadth，forthereshefellbelowmyviews，butshemorethanmadeitupinheighth；herheighthandslimnesswas——inshortTHEheighthofboth。
　　Ioftensawthattray，afterIwastheinnocentlysmilingcause（ormorelikelyscreechingone）ofthedoctor’sstandingituponatableagainstthewallinhisconsulting—room。Whenevermyownfatherandmotherwereinthatpartofthecountry，Iusedtoputmyhead（Ihaveheardmyownmothersayitwasflaxencurlsatthattime，thoughyouwouldn’tknowanoldhearth—broomfromitnowtillyoucometothehandle，andfounditwasn’tme）inatthedoctor’sdoor，andthedoctorwasalwaysgladtoseeme，andsaid，"Aha，mybrotherpractitioner！Comein，littleM。D。Howareyourinclinationsastosixpence？"
　　Youcan’tgoonforever，you’llfind，noryetcouldmyfathernoryetmymother。Ifyoudon’tgooffasawholewhenyouareaboutdue，you’reliabletogooffinpart，andtwotooneyourhead’sthepart。Graduallymyfatherwentoffhis，andmymotherwentoffhers。Itwasinaharmlessway，butitputoutthefamilywhereI
　　boardedthem。Theoldcouple，thoughretired，gottobewhollyandsolelydevotedtotheCheapJackbusiness，andwerealwayssellingthefamilyoff。Whenevertheclothwaslaidfordinner，myfatherbeganrattlingtheplatesanddishes，aswedoinourlinewhenweputupcrockeryforabid，onlyhehadlostthetrickofit，andmostlylet’emdropandbroke’em。Astheoldladyhadbeenusedtositinthecart，andhandthearticlesoutonebyonetotheoldgentlemanonthefootboardtosell，justinthesamewayshehandedhimeveryitemofthefamily’sproperty，andtheydisposedofitintheirownimaginationsfrommorningtonight。Atlasttheoldgentleman，lyingbedriddeninthesameroomwiththeoldlady，criesoutintheoldpatter，fluent，afterhavingbeensilentfortwodaysandnights："Nowhere，myjollycompanionseveryone，——whichtheNightingaleclubinavillagewasheld，AtthesignoftheCabbageandShears，Wherethesingersnodoubtwouldhavegreatlyexcelled，Butforwantoftaste，voicesandears，——now，here，myjollycompanions，everyone，isaworkingmodelofaused—upoldCheapJack，withoutatoothinhishead，andwithapainineverybone：
　　solikelifethatitwouldbejustasgoodifitwasn’tbetter，justasbadifitwasn’tworse，andjustasnewifitwasn’twornout。
　　BidfortheworkingmodeloftheoldCheapJack，whohasdrunkmoregunpowder—teawiththeladiesinhistimethanwouldblowthelidoffawasherwoman’scopper，andcarryitasmanythousandsofmileshigherthanthemoonasnaughtnixnaught，dividedbythenationaldebt，carrynothingtothepoor—rates，threeunder，andtwoover。
　　Now，myheartsofoakandmenofstraw，whatdoyousayforthelot？
　　Twoshillings，ashilling，tenpence，eightpence，sixpence，fourpence。Twopence？Whosaidtwopence？Thegentlemaninthescarecrow’shat？Iamashamedofthegentlemaninthescarecrow’shat。Ireallyamashamedofhimforhiswantofpublicspirit。NowI’lltellyouwhatI’lldowithyou。Come！I’llthrowyouinaworkingmodelofaoldwomanthatwasmarriedtotheoldCheapJacksolongagothatuponmywordandhonourittookplaceinNoah’sArk，beforetheUnicorncouldgetintoforbidthebannsbyblowingatuneuponhishorn。Therenow！Come！Whatdoyousayforboth？
　　I’lltellyouwhatI’lldowithyou。Idon’tbearyoumaliceforbeingsobackward。Here！Ifyoumakemeabidthat’llonlyreflectalittlecreditonyourtown，I’llthrowyouinawarming—panfornothing，andlendyouatoasting—forkforlife。Nowcome；whatdoyousayafterthatsplendidoffer？Saytwopound，saythirtyshillings，sayapound，saytenshillings，sayfive，saytwoandsix。Youdon’tsayeventwoandsix？Yousaytwoandthree？No。
　　Youshan’thavethelotfortwoandthree。I’dsoonergiveittoyou，ifyouwasgood—lookingenough。Here！Missis！Chucktheoldmanandwomanintothecart，putthehorseto，anddrive’emawayandbury’em！"SuchwerethelastwordsofWillumMarigold，myownfather，andtheywerecarriedout，byhimandbyhiswife，myownmother，ononeandthesameday，asIoughttoknow，havingfollowedasmourner。
　　MyfatherhadbeenalovelyoneinhistimeattheCheapJackwork，ashisdyingobservationswenttoprove。ButItophim。Idon’tsayitbecauseit’smyself，butbecauseithasbeenuniversallyacknowledgedbyallthathashadthemeansofcomparison。Ihaveworkedatit。Ihavemeasuredmyselfagainstotherpublicspeakers，——MembersofParliament，Platforms，Pulpits，Counsellearnedinthelaw，——andwhereIhavefound’emgood，Ihavetookabitofimaginationfrom’em，andwhereIhavefound’embad，Ihavelet’emalone。NowI’lltellyouwhat。ImeantogodownintomygravedeclaringthatofallthecallingsillusedinGreatBritain，theCheapJackcallingistheworstused。Whyain’tweaprofession？Whyain’tweendowedwithprivileges？Whyareweforcedtotakeoutahawker’slicense，whennosuchthingisexpectedofthepoliticalhawkers？Where’sthedifferencebetwixtus？ExceptthatweareCheapJacksandtheyareDearJacks，Idon’tseeanydifferencebutwhat’sinourfavour。
　　Forlookhere！Sayit’selectiontime。Iamonthefootboardofmycartinthemarket—place，onaSaturdaynight。Iputupageneralmiscellaneouslot。Isay："Nowhere，myfreeandindependentwoters，I’magoingtogiveyousuchachanceasyouneverhadinallyourborndays，noryetthedayspreceding。NowI’llshowyouwhatIamagoingtodowithyou。Here’sapairofrazorsthat’llshaveyoucloserthantheBoardofGuardians；here’saflat—ironworthitsweightingold；here’safrying—panartificiallyflavouredwithessenceofbeefsteakstothatdegreethatyou’veonlygotfortherestofyourlivestofrybreadanddrippinginitandthereyouarerepletewithanimalfood；here’sagenuinechronometerwatchinsuchasolidsilvercasethatyoumayknockatthedoorwithitwhenyoucomehomelatefromasocialmeeting，androuseyourwifeandfamily，andsaveupyourknockerforthepostman；andhere’shalf—a—
　　dozendinnerplatesthatyoumayplaythecymbalswithtocharmbabywhenit’sfractious。Stop！I’llthrowinanotherarticle，andI’llgiveyouthat，andit’sarolling—pin；andifthebabycanonlygetitwellintoitsmouthwhenitsteethiscomingandrubthegumsoncewithit，they’llcomethroughdouble，inafitoflaughterequaltobeingtickled。Stopagain！I’llthrowyouinanotherarticle，becauseIdon’tlikethelooksofyou，foryouhaven’ttheappearanceofbuyersunlessIlosebyyou，andbecauseI’dratherlosethannottakemoneyto—night，andthat’salooking—glassinwhichyoumayseehowuglyyoulookwhenyoudon’tbid。Whatdoyousaynow？Come！Doyousayapound？Notyou，foryouhaven’tgotit。Doyousaytenshillings？Notyou，foryouowemoretothetallyman。Wellthen，I’lltellyouwhatI’lldowithyou。I’llheap’emallonthefootboardofthecart，——theretheyare！razors，flatwatch，dinnerplates，rolling—pin，andawayforfourshillings，andI’llgiveyousixpenceforyourtrouble！"Thisisme，theCheapJack。ButontheMondaymorning，inthesamemarket—place，comestheDearJackonthehustings——HIScart——and，whatdoesHEsay？
　　"Nowmyfreeandindependentwoters，Iamagoingtogiveyousuchachance"（hebeginsjustlikeme）"asyouneverhadinallyourborndays，andthat’sthechanceofsendingMyselftoParliament。NowI’lltellyouwhatIamagoingtodoforyou。Here’stheinterestsofthismagnificenttownpromotedabovealltherestofthecivilisedanduncivilisedearth。Here’syourrailwayscarried，andyourneighbours’railwaysjockeyed。Here’sallyoursonsinthePost—office。Here’sBritanniasmilingonyou。Here’stheeyesofEuropeonyou。Here’suniwersalprosperityforyou，repletionofanimalfood，goldencornfields，gladsomehomesteads，androundsofapplausefromyourownhearts，allinonelot，andthat’smyself。
　　WillyoutakemeasIstand？Youwon’t？Well，then，I’lltellyouwhatI’lldowithyou。Comenow！I’llthrowyouinanythingyouaskfor。There！Church—rates，abolitionofmoremalttax，nomalttax，universaleducationtothehighestmark，oruniwersalignorancetothelowest，totalabolitionofflogginginthearmyoradozenforeveryprivateonceamonthallround，WrongsofMenorRightsofWomen——onlysaywhichitshallbe，take’emorleave’em，andI’mofyouropinionaltogether，andthelot’syourownonyourownterms。
　　There！Youwon’ttakeityet！Well，then，I’lltellyouwhatI’lldowithyou。Come！YouAREsuchfreeandindependentwoters，andI
　　amsoproudofyou，——youAREsuchanobleandenlightenedconstituency，andIAMsoambitiousofthehonouranddignityofbeingyourmember，whichisbyfarthehighestleveltowhichthewingsofthehumanmindcansoar，——thatI’lltellyouwhatI’lldowithyou。I’llthrowyouinallthepublic—housesinyourmagnificenttownfornothing。Willthatcontentyou？Itwon’t？
　　Youwon’ttakethelotyet？Well，then，beforeIputthehorseinanddriveaway，andmaketheoffertothenextmostmagnificenttownthatcanbediscovered，I’lltellyouwhatI’lldo。Takethelot，andI’lldroptwothousandpoundinthestreetsofyourmagnificenttownforthemtopickupthatcan。Notenough？Nowlookhere。
　　ThisistheveryfurthestthatI’magoingto。I’llmakeittwothousandfivehundred。Andstillyouwon’t？Here，missis！Putthehorse——no，stophalfamoment，Ishouldn’tliketoturnmybackuponyouneitherforatrifle，I’llmakeittwothousandsevenhundredandfiftypound。There！Takethelotonyourownterms，andI’llcountouttwothousandsevenhundredandfiftypoundonthefoot—
　　boardofthecart，tobedroppedinthestreetsofyourmagnificenttownforthemtopickupthatcan。Whatdoyousay？Comenow！Youwon’tdobetter，andyoumaydoworse。Youtakeit？Hooray！Soldagain，andgottheseat！"
　　TheseDearJackssoapthepeopleshameful，butweCheapJacksdon’t。
　　Wetell’emthetruthaboutthemselvestotheirfaces，andscorntocourt’em。Astowenturesomenessinthewayofpuffingupthelots，theDearJacksbeatushollow。ItisconsideredintheCheapJackcalling，thatbetterpattercanbemadeoutofagunthananyarticleweputupfromthecart，exceptapairofspectacles。I
　　oftenholdforthaboutagunforaquarterofanhour，andfeelasifIneedneverleaveoff。ButwhenItell’emwhattheguncando，andwhatthegunhasbroughtdown，InevergohalfsofarastheDearJacksdowhentheymakespeechesinpraiseofTHEIRguns——theirgreatgunsthatset’emontodoit。Besides，I’minbusinessformyself：Iain’tsentdownintothemarket—placetoorder，astheyare。Besides，again，mygunsdon’tknowwhatIsayintheirlaudation，andtheirgunsdo，andthewholeconcernof’emhavereasontobesickandashamedallround。ThesearesomeofmyargumentsfordeclaringthattheCheapJackcallingistreatedillinGreatBritain，andforturningwarmwhenIthinkoftheotherJacksinquestionsettingthemselvesuptopretendtolookdownuponit。
　　Icourtedmywifefromthefootboardofthecart。Ididindeed。
　　ShewasaSuffolkyoungwoman，anditwasinIpswichmarketplacerightoppositethecorn—chandler’sshop。IhadnoticedherupatawindowlastSaturdaythatwas，appreciatinghighly。Ihadtooktoher，andIhadsaidtomyself，"Ifnotalreadydisposedof，I’llhavethatlot。"NextSaturdaythatcome，Ipitchedthecartonthesamepitch，andIwasinveryhighfeatherindeed，keeping’emlaughingthewholeofthetime，andgettingoffthegoodsbriskly。
　　AtlastItookoutofmywaistcoat—pocketasmalllotwrappedinsoftpaper，andIputitthisway（lookingupatthewindowwhereshewas）。"Nowhere，mybloomingEnglishmaidens，isanarticle，thelastarticleofthepresentevening’ssale，whichIoffertoonlyyou，thelovelySuffolkDumplingsbilingoverwithbeauty，andIwon’ttakeabidofathousandpoundsforfromanymanalive。Nowwhatisit？Why，I’lltellyouwhatitis。It’smadeoffinegold，andit’snotbroke，thoughthere’saholeinthemiddleofit，andit’sstrongerthananyfetterthateverwasforged，thoughit’ssmallerthananyfingerinmysetoften。Whyten？Because，whenmyparentsmadeovermypropertytome，Itellyoutrue，therewastwelvesheets，twelvetowels，twelvetable—cloths，twelveknives，twelveforks，twelvetablespoons，andtwelveteaspoons，butmysetoffingerswastwoshortofadozen，andcouldneversincebematched。Nowwhatelseisit？Come，I’lltellyou。It’sahoopofsolidgold，wrappedinasilvercurl—paper，thatImyselftookofftheshininglocksoftheeverbeautifuloldladyinThreadneedleStreet，Londoncity；Iwouldn’ttellyousoifIhadn’tthepapertoshow，oryoumightn’tbelieveitevenofme。Nowwhatelseisit？
　　It’saman—trapandahandcuff，theparishstocksandaleg—lock，allingoldandallinone。Nowwhatelseisit？It’sawedding—
　　ring。NowI’lltellyouwhatI’magoingtodowithit。I’mnotagoingtoofferthislotformoney；butImeantogiveittothenextofyoubeautiesthatlaughs，andI’llpayheravisitto—morrowmorningatexactlyhalfafternineo’clockasthechimesgo，andI’lltakeheroutforawalktoputupthebanns。"Shelaughed，andgottheringhandeduptoher。WhenIcalledinthemorning，shesays，"Odear！It’sneveryou，andyounevermeanit？""It’severme，"saysI，"andIameveryours，andIevermeanit。"Sowegotmarried，afterbeingputupthreetimes——which，bythebye，isquiteintheCheapJackwayagain，andshowsoncemorehowtheCheapJackcustomspervadesociety。
　　Shewasn’tabadwife，butshehadatemper。Ifshecouldhavepartedwiththatonearticleatasacrifice，Iwouldn’thaveswoppedherawayinexchangeforanyotherwomaninEngland。NotthatI
　　everdidswopheraway，forwelivedtogethertillshedied，andthatwasthirteenyear。Now，mylordsandladiesandgentlefolksall，I’llletyouintoasecret，thoughyouwon’tbelieveit。
　　ThirteenyearoftemperinaPalacewouldtrytheworstofyou，butthirteenyearoftemperinaCartwouldtrythebestofyou。Youarekeptsoveryclosetoitinacart，yousee。There’sthousandsofcouplesamongyougettingonlikesweetileuponawhetstoneinhousesfiveandsixpairsofstairshigh，thatwouldgototheDivorceCourtinacart。Whetherthejoltingmakesitworse，I
　　don’tundertaketodecide；butinacartitdoescomehometoyou，andsticktoyou。WiolenceinacartisSOwiolent，andaggrawationinacartisSOaggrawating。
　　Wemighthavehadsuchapleasantlife！Aroomycart，withthelargegoodshungoutside，andthebedslungunderneathitwhenontheroad，anironpotandakettle，afireplaceforthecoldweather，achimneyforthesmoke，ahanging—shelfandacupboard，adogandahorse。Whatmoredoyouwant？Youdrawoffuponabitofturfinagreenlaneorbytheroadside，youhobbleyouroldhorseandturnhimgrazing，youlightyourfireupontheashesofthelastvisitors，youcookyourstew，andyouwouldn’tcalltheEmperorofFranceyourfather。Buthaveatemperinthecart，flinginglanguageandthehardestgoodsinstockatyou，andwhereareyouthen？Putanametoyourfeelings。
　　MydogknewaswellwhenshewasontheturnasIdid。Beforeshebrokeout，hewouldgiveahowl，andbolt。Howheknewit，wasamysterytome；butthesureandcertainknowledgeofitwouldwakehimupoutofhissoundestsleep，andhewouldgiveahowl，andbolt。AtsuchtimesIwishedIwashim。
　　Theworstofitwas，wehadadaughterborntous，andIlovechildrenwithallmyheart。Whenshewasinherfuriesshebeatthechild。Thisgottobesoshocking，asthechildgottobefourorfiveyearold，thatIhavemanyatimegoneonwithmywhipovermyshoulder，attheoldhorse’shead，sobbingandcryingworsethaneverlittleSophydid。ForhowcouldIpreventit？Suchathingisnottobetriedwithsuchatemper——inacart——withoutcomingtoafight。It’sinthenaturalsizeandformationofacarttobringittoafight。Andthenthepoorchildgotworseterrifiedthanbefore，aswellasworsehurtgenerally，andhermothermadecomplaintstothenextpeoplewelightedon，andthewordwentround，"Here’sawretchofaCheapJackbeenabeatinghiswife。"
　　LittleSophywassuchabravechild！Shegrewtobequitedevotedtoherpoorfather，thoughhecoulddosolittletohelpher。Shehadawonderfulquantityofshiningdarkhair，allcurlingnaturalabouther。Itisquiteastonishingtomenow，thatIdidn’tgotearingmadwhenIusedtoseeherrunfromhermotherbeforethecart，andhermothercatchherbythishair，andpullherdownbyit，andbeather。
　　SuchabravechildIsaidshewas！Ah！withreason。
　　"Don’tyoumindnexttime，fatherdear，"shewouldwhispertome，withherlittlefacestillflushed，andherbrighteyesstillwet；
　　"ifIdon’tcryout，youmayknowIamnotmuchhurt。AndevenifI
　　docryout，itwillonlybetogetmothertoletgoandleaveoff。"
　　WhatIhaveseenthelittlespiritbear——forme——withoutcryingout！
　　Yetinotherrespectshermothertookgreatcareofher。Herclotheswerealwayscleanandneat，andhermotherwasnevertiredofworkingat’em。Suchistheinconsistencyinthings。Ourbeingdowninthemarshcountryinunhealthyweather，IconsiderthecauseofSophy’stakingbadlowfever；buthowevershetookit，onceshegotitsheturnedawayfromhermotherforevermore，andnothingwouldpersuadehertobetouchedbyhermother’shand。Shewouldshiverandsay，"No，no，no，"whenitwasofferedat，andwouldhideherfaceonmyshoulder，andholdmetighterroundtheneck。
　　TheCheapJackbusinesshadbeenworsethaneverIhadknownit，whatwithonethingandwhatwithanother（andnotleastwithrailroads，whichwillcutitalltopieces，Iexpect，atlast），andIwasrundryofmoney。Forwhichreason，onenightatthatperiodoflittleSophy’sbeingsobad，eitherwemusthavecometoadead—
　　lockforvictualsanddrink，orImusthavepitchedthecartasI
　　did。
　　Icouldn’tgetthedearchildtoliedownorleavegoofme，andindeedIhadn’tthehearttotry，soIsteppedoutonthefootboardwithherholdingroundmyneck。Theyallsetupalaughwhentheyseeus，andonechuckle—headedJoskin（thatIhatedforit）madethebidding，"Tuppenceforher！"
　　"Now，youcountryboobies，"saysI，feelingasifmyheartwasaheavyweightattheendofabrokensashline，"IgiveyounoticethatIamagoingtocharmthemoneyoutofyourpockets，andtogiveyousomuchmorethanyourmoney’sworththatyou’llonlypersuadeyourselvestodrawyourSaturdaynight’swageseveragainarterwardsbythehopesofmeetingmetolay’emoutwith，whichyouneverwill，andwhynot？BecauseI’vemademyfortunesbysellingmygoodsonalargescaleforseventy—fivepercent。lessthanI
　　givefor’em，andIamconsequentlytobeelevatedtotheHouseofPeersnextweek，bythetitleoftheDukeofCheapandMarkisJackaloorul。Nowlet’sknowwhatyouwantto—night，andyoushallhaveit。Butfirstofall，shallItellyouwhyIhavegotthislittlegirlroundmyneck？Youdon’twanttoknow？Thenyoushall。
　　ShebelongstotheFairies。She’safortune—teller。Shecantellmeallaboutyouinawhisper，andcanputmeuptowhetheryou’regoingtobuyalotorleaveit。Nowdoyouwantasaw？No，shesaysyoudon’t，becauseyou’retooclumsytouseone。Elsehere’sasawwhichwouldbealifelongblessingtoahandyman，atfourshillings，atthreeandsix，atthree，attwoandsix，attwo，ateighteen—pence。Butnoneofyoushallhaveitatanyprice，onaccountofyourwell—knownawkwardness，whichwouldmakeitmanslaughter。ThesameobjectionappliestothissetofthreeplaneswhichIwon’tletyouhaveneither，sodon’tbidfor’em。
　　NowIamagoingtoaskherwhatyoudowant。"（ThenIwhispered，"Yourheadburnsso，thatIamafraidithurtsyoubad，mypet，"andsheanswered，withoutopeningherheavyeyes，"Justalittle，father。"）"O！Thislittlefortune—tellersaysit’samemorandum—
　　bookyouwant。Thenwhydidn’tyoumentionit？Hereitis。Lookatit。Twohundredsuperfinehot—pressedwire—wovepages——ifyoudon’tbelieveme，count’em——readyruledforyourexpenses，aneverlastinglypointedpenciltoput’emdownwith，adouble—bladedpenknifetoscratch’emoutwith，abookofprintedtablestocalculateyourincomewith，andacamp—stooltositdownuponwhileyougiveyourmindtoit！Stop！Andanumbrellatokeepthemoonoffwhenyougiveyourmindtoitonapitch—darknight。NowI
　　won’taskyouhowmuchforthelot，buthowlittle？Howlittleareyouthinkingof？Don’tbeashamedtomentionit，becausemyfortune—tellerknowsalready。"（Thenmakingbelievetowhisper，I
　　kissedher，——andshekissedme。）"Why，shesaysyouarethinkingofaslittleasthreeandthreepence！Icouldn’thavebelievedit，evenofyou，unlessshetoldme。Threeandthreepence！Andasetofprintedtablesinthelotthat’llcalculateyourincomeuptofortythousandayear！Withanincomeoffortythousandayear，yougrudgethreeandsixpence。Wellthen，I’lltellyoumyopinion。I
　　sodespisethethreepence，thatI’dsoonertakethreeshillings。
　　There。Forthreeshillings，threeshillings，threeshillings！
　　Gone。Hand’emovertotheluckyman。"
　　Astherehadbeennobidatall，everybodylookedaboutandgrinnedateverybody，whileItouchedlittleSophy’sfaceandaskedherifshefeltfaint，orgiddy。"Notvery，father。Itwillsoonbeover。"Thenturningfromtheprettypatienteyes，whichwereopenednow，andseeingnothingbutgrinsacrossmylightedgrease—pot，I
　　wentonagaininmyCheapJackstyle。"Where’sthebutcher？"（Mysorrowfuleyehadjustcaughtsightofafatyoungbutcherontheoutsideofthecrowd。）"Shesaysthegoodluckisthebutcher’s。
　　Whereishe？"Everybodyhandedontheblushingbutchertothefront，andtherewasaroar，andthebutcherfelthimselfobligedtoputhishandinhispocket，andtakethelot。Thepartysopickedout，ingeneral，doesfeelobligedtotakethelot——goodfourtimesoutofsix。Thenwehadanotherlot，thecounterpartofthatone，andsolditsixpencecheaper，whichisalwayswerymuchenjoyed。
　　Thenwehadthespectacles。Itain’taspecialprofitablelot，butIput’emon，andIseewhattheChancelloroftheExchequerisgoingtotakeoffthetaxes，andIseewhatthesweetheartoftheyoungwomanintheshawlisdoingathome，andIseewhattheBishopshasgotfordinner，andadealmorethatseldomfailstofetchem’upintheirspirits；andthebettertheirspirits，thebettertheirbids。Thenwehadtheladies’lot——theteapot，tea—
　　caddy，glasssugar—basin，half—a—dozenspoons，andcaudle—cup——andallthetimeIwasmakingsimilarexcusestogivealookortwoandsayawordortwotomypoorchild。Itwaswhilethesecondladies’
　　lotwasholding’emenchainedthatIfeltherliftherselfalittleonmyshoulder，tolookacrossthedarkstreet。"Whattroublesyou，darling？""Nothingtroublesme，father。Iamnotatalltroubled。
　　Butdon’tIseeaprettychurchyardoverthere？""Yes，mydear。"
　　"Kissmetwice，dearfather，andlaymedowntorestuponthatchurchyardgrasssosoftandgreen。"Istaggeredbackintothecartwithherheaddroppedonmyshoulder，andIsaystohermother，"Quick。Shutthedoor！Don’tletthoselaughingpeoplesee！"
　　"What’sthematter？"shecries。"Owoman，woman，"Itellsher，"you’llnevercatchmylittleSophybyherhairagain，forshehasflownawayfromyou！"
　　MaybethosewereharderwordsthanImeant’em；butfromthattimeforthmywifetooktobrooding，andwouldsitinthecartorwalkbesideit，hoursatastretch，withherarmscrossed，andhereyeslookingontheground。Whenherfuriestookher（whichwasratherseldomerthanbefore）theytookherinanewway，andshebangedherselfabouttothatextentthatIwasforcedtoholdher。Shegotnonethebetterforalittledrinknowandthen，andthroughsomeyearsIusedtowonder，asIploddedalongattheoldhorse’shead，whethertherewasmanycartsupontheroadthatheldsomuchdrearinessasmine，forallmybeinglookeduptoastheKingoftheCheapJacks。Sosadourliveswentontillonesummerevening，when，aswewerecomingintoExeter，outofthefartherWestofEngland，wesawawomanbeatingachildinacruelmanner，whoscreamed，"Don’tbeatme！Omother，mother，mother！"Thenmywifestoppedherears，andranawaylikeawildthing，andnextdayshewasfoundintheriver。
　　Meandmydogwereallthecompanyleftinthecartnow；andthedoglearnedtogiveashortbarkwhentheywouldn’tbid，andtogiveanotherandanodofhisheadwhenIaskedhim，"Whosaidhalfacrown？Areyouthegentleman，sir，thatofferedhalfacrown？"Heattainedtoanimmenseheightofpopularity，andIshallalwaysbelievetaughthimselfentirelyoutofhisownheadtogrowlatanypersoninthecrowdthatbidaslowassixpence。Buthegottobewelloninyears，andonenightwhenIwasconwulsingYorkwiththespectacles，hetookaconwulsiononhisownaccountupontheveryfootboardbyme，anditfinishedhim。
　　Beingnaturallyofatenderturn，Ihaddreadfullonelyfeelingsonmearterthis。Iconquered’ematsellingtimes，havingareputationtokeep（nottomentionkeepingmyself），buttheygotmedowninprivate，androlleduponme。That’softenthewaywithuspubliccharacters。Seeusonthefootboard，andyou’dgiveprettywellanythingyoupossesstobeus。Seeusoffthefootboard，andyou’daddatrifletobeoffyourbargain。ItwasunderthosecircumstancesthatIcomeacquaintedwithagiant。Imighthavebeentoohightofallintoconversationwithhim，haditnotbeenformylonelyfeelings。Forthegeneralruleis，goingroundthecountry，todrawthelineatdressingup。Whenamancan’ttrusthisgettingalivingtohisundisguisedabilities，youconsiderhimbelowyoursort。AndthisgiantwhenonviewfiguredasaRoman。
　　Hewasalanguidyoungman，whichIattributetothedistancebetwixthisextremities。Hehadalittleheadandlessinit，hehadweakeyesandweakknees，andaltogetheryoucouldn’tlookathimwithoutfeelingthattherewasgreatlytoomuchofhimbothforhisjointsandhismind。Buthewasanamiablethoughtimidyoungman（hismotherlethimout，andspentthemoney），andwecomeacquaintedwhenhewaswalkingtoeasethehorsebetwixttwofairs。
　　HewascalledRinaldodiVelasco，hisnamebeingPickleson。
　　Thisgiant，otherwisePickleson，mentionedtomeunderthesealofconfidencethat，beyondhisbeingaburdentohimself，hislifewasmadeaburdentohimbythecrueltyofhismastertowardsastep—
　　daughterwhowasdeafanddumb。Hermotherwasdead，andshehadnolivingsoultotakeherpart，andwasusedmosthard。Shetravelledwithhismaster’scaravanonlybecausetherewasnowheretoleaveher，andthisgiant，otherwisePickleson，didgosofarastobelievethathismasteroftentriedtoloseher。Hewassuchaverylanguidyoungman，thatIdon’tknowhowlongitdidn’ttakehimtogetthisstoryout，butitpassedthroughhisdefectivecirculationtohistopextremityincourseoftime。
　　WhenIheardthisaccountfromthegiant，otherwisePickleson，andlikewisethatthepoorgirlhadbeautifullongdarkhair，andwasoftenpulleddownbyitandbeaten，Icouldn’tseethegiantthroughwhatstoodinmyeyes。Havingwiped’em，Igivehimsixpence（forhewaskeptasshortashewaslong），andhelaiditoutintwothree—penn’orthsofgin—and—water，whichsobriskedhimup，thathesangtheFavouriteComicofShiveryShakey，ain’titcold？——apopulareffectwhichhismasterhadtriedeveryothermeanstogetoutofhimasaRomanwhollyinvain。
　　Hismaster’snamewasMim，aweryhoarseman，andIknewhimtospeakto。IwenttothatFairasamerecivilian，leavingthecartoutsidethetown，andIlookedaboutthebackoftheVanswhiletheperformingwasgoingon，andatlast，sittingdozingagainstamuddycart—wheel，Icomeuponthepoorgirlwhowasdeafanddumb。AtthefirstlookImightalmosthavejudgedthatshehadescapedfromtheWildBeastShow；butatthesecondIthoughtbetterofher，andthoughtthatifshewasmorecaredforandmorekindlyusedshewouldbelikemychild。Shewasjustthesameagethatmyowndaughterwouldhavebeen，ifherprettyheadhadnotfelldownuponmyshoulderthatunfortunatenight。
　　Tocutitshort，IspokeconfidentialtoMimwhilehewasbeatingthegongoutsidebetwixttwolotsofPickleson’spublics，andIputittohim，"Sheliesheavyonyourownhands；what’llyoutakeforher？"Mimwasamostferociousswearer。Suppressingthatpartofhisreplywhichwasmuchthelongestpart，hisreplywas，"Apairofbraces。""NowI’lltellyou，"saysI，"whatI’magoingtodowithyou。I’magoingtofetchyouhalf—a—dozenpairoftheprimestbracesinthecart，andthentotakeherawaywithme。"SaysMim（againferocious），"I’llbelieveitwhenI’vegotthegoods，andnosooner。"ImadeallthehasteIcould，lestheshouldthinktwiceofit，andthebargainwascompleted，whichPicklesonhewastherebysorelievedinhismindthathecomeoutathislittlebackdoor，longwayslikeaserpent，andgiveusShiveryShakeyinawhisperamongthewheelsatparting。
　　ItwashappydaysforbothofuswhenSophyandmebegantotravelinthecart。IatoncegiveherthenameofSophy，toputherevertowardsmeintheattitudeofmyowndaughter。Wesoonmadeouttobegintounderstandoneanother，throughthegoodnessoftheHeavens，whensheknowedthatImeanttrueandkindbyher。Inaverylittletimeshewaswonderfulfondofme。Youhavenoideawhatitistohaveanybodywonderfulfondofyou，unlessyouhavebeengotdownandrolleduponbythelonelyfeelingsthatIhavementionedashavingoncegotthebetterofme。
　　You’dhavelaughed——ortherewerse——it’saccordingtoyourdisposition——ifyoucouldhaveseenmetryingtoteachSophy。AtfirstIwashelped——you’dneverguessbywhat——milestones。Igotsomelargealphabetsinabox，allthelettersseparateonbitsofbone，andsayingwewasgoingtoWINDSOR，Igiveherthoselettersinthatorder，andthenateverymilestoneIshowedherthosesamelettersinthatsameorderagain，andpointedtowardstheabodeofroyalty。AnothertimeIgiveherCART，andthenchalkedthesameuponthecart。AnothertimeIgiveherDOCTORMARIGOLD，andhungacorrespondinginscriptionoutsidemywaistcoat。Peoplethatmetusmightstareabitandlaugh，butwhatdidIcare，ifshecaughttheidea？Shecaughtitafterlongpatienceandtrouble，andthenwedidbegintogetonswimmingly，Ibelieveyou！Atfirstshewasalittlegiventoconsidermethecart，andthecarttheabodeofroyalty，butthatsoonworeoff。