FIRSTBRANCH——MYSELF
Ihavekeptonesecretinthecourseofmylife。Iamabashfulman。Nobodywouldsupposeit,nobodyeverdoessupposeit,nobodyeverdidsupposeit,butIamnaturallyabashfulman。ThisisthesecretwhichIhaveneverbreatheduntilnow。
ImightgreatlymovethereaderbysomeaccountoftheinnumerableplacesIhavenotbeento,theinnumerablepeopleIhavenotcalleduponorreceived,theinnumerablesocialevasionsIhavebeenguiltyof,solelybecauseIambyoriginalconstitutionandcharacterabashfulman。ButIwillleavethereaderunmoved,andproceedwiththeobjectbeforeme。
ThatobjectistogiveaplainaccountofmytravelsanddiscoveriesintheHolly—TreeInn;inwhichplaceofgoodentertainmentformanandbeastIwasoncesnowedup。
IthappenedinthememorableyearwhenIpartedforeverfromAngelaLeath,whomIwasshortlytohavemarried,onmakingthediscoverythatshepreferredmybosomfriend。Fromourschool—daysIhadfreelyadmittedEdwin,inmyownmind,tobefarsuperiortomyself;
and,thoughIwasgrievouslywoundedatheart,Ifeltthepreferencetobenatural,andtriedtoforgivethemboth。ItwasunderthesecircumstancesthatIresolvedtogotoAmerica——onmywaytotheDevil。
CommunicatingmydiscoveryneithertoAngelanortoEdwin,butresolvingtowriteeachofthemanaffectingletterconveyingmyblessingandforgiveness,whichthesteam—tenderforshoreshouldcarrytothepostwhenImyselfshouldbeboundfortheNewWorld,farbeyondrecall,——Isay,lockingupmygriefinmyownbreast,andconsolingmyselfasIcouldwiththeprospectofbeinggenerous,I
quietlyleftallIhelddear,andstartedonthedesolatejourneyI
havementioned。
Thedeadwinter—timewasinfulldrearinesswhenIleftmychambersforever,atfiveo’clockinthemorning。Ihadshavedbycandle—
light,ofcourse,andwasmiserablycold,andexperiencedthatgeneralall—pervadingsensationofgettinguptobehangedwhichI
haveusuallyfoundinseparablefromuntimelyrisingundersuchcircumstances。
HowwellIremembertheforlornaspectofFleetStreetwhenIcameoutoftheTemple!Thestreet—lampsflickeringinthegustynorth—
eastwind,asiftheverygaswerecontortedwithcold;thewhite—
toppedhouses;thebleak,star—lightedsky;themarketpeopleandotherearlystragglers,trottingtocirculatetheiralmostfrozenblood;thehospitablelightandwarmthofthefewcoffee—shopsandpublic—housesthatwereopenforsuchcustomers;thehard,dry,frostyrimewithwhichtheairwascharged(thewindhadalreadybeatenitintoeverycrevice),andwhichlashedmyfacelikeasteelwhip。
Itwantedninedaystotheendofthemonth,andendoftheyear。
ThePost—officepacketfortheUnitedStateswastodepartfromLiverpool,weatherpermitting,onthefirstoftheensuingmonth,andIhadtheinterveningtimeonmyhands。Ihadtakenthisintoconsideration,andhadresolvedtomakeavisittoacertainspot(whichIneednotname)onthefartherbordersofYorkshire。ItwasendearedtomebymyhavingfirstseenAngelaatafarmhouseinthatplace,andmymelancholywasgratifiedbytheideaoftakingawintryleaveofitbeforemyexpatriation。Ioughttoexplain,that,toavoidbeingsoughtoutbeforemyresolutionshouldhavebeenrenderedirrevocablebybeingcarriedintofulleffect,IhadwrittentoAngelaovernight,inmyusualmanner,lamentingthaturgentbusiness,ofwhichsheshouldknowallparticularsby—and—by—
—tookmeunexpectedlyawayfromherforaweekortendays。
TherewasnoNorthernRailwayatthattime,andinitsplacetherewerestage—coaches;whichIoccasionallyfindmyself,incommonwithsomeotherpeople,affectingtolamentnow,butwhicheverybodydreadedasaveryseriouspenancethen。Ihadsecuredthebox—seatonthefastestofthese,andmybusinessinFleetStreetwastogetintoacabwithmyportmanteau,sotomakethebestofmywaytothePeacockatIslington,whereIwastojointhiscoach。ButwhenoneofourTemplewatchmen,whocarriedmyportmanteauintoFleetStreetforme,toldmeaboutthehugeblocksoficethathadforsomedayspastbeenfloatingintheriver,havingclosedupinthenight,andmadeawalkfromtheTempleGardensovertotheSurreyshore,I
begantoaskmyselfthequestion,whetherthebox—seatwouldnotbelikelytoputasuddenandafrostyendtomyunhappiness。Iwasheart—broken,itistrue,andyetIwasnotquitesofargoneastowishtobefrozentodeath。
WhenIgotuptothePeacock,——whereIfoundeverybodydrinkinghotpurl,inself—preservation,——Iaskediftherewereaninsideseattospare。Ithendiscoveredthat,insideorout,Iwastheonlypassenger。Thisgavemeastilllivelierideaofthegreatinclemencyoftheweather,sincethatcoachalwaysloadedparticularlywell。However,Itookalittlepurl(whichIfounduncommonlygood),andgotintothecoach。WhenIwasseated,theybuiltmeupwithstrawtothewaist,and,consciousofmakingaratherridiculousappearance,Ibeganmyjourney。
ItwasstilldarkwhenweleftthePeacock。Foralittlewhile,pale,uncertainghostsofhousesandtreesappearedandvanished,andthenitwashard,black,frozenday。Peoplewerelightingtheirfires;smokewasmountingstraightuphighintotherarifiedair;
andwewererattlingforHighgateArchwayoverthehardestgroundI
haveeverheardtheringofironshoeson。Aswegotintothecountry,everythingseemedtohavegrownoldandgray。Theroads,thetrees,thatchedroofsofcottagesandhomesteads,thericksinfarmers’yards。Out—doorworkwasabandoned,horse—troughsatroad—
sideinnswerefrozenhard,nostragglersloungedabout,doorswerecloseshut,littleturnpikehouseshadblazingfiresinside,andchildren(eventurnpikepeoplehavechildren,andseemtolikethem)
rubbedthefrostfromthelittlepanesofglasswiththeirchubbyarms,thattheirbrighteyesmightcatchaglimpseofthesolitarycoachgoingby。Idon’tknowwhenthesnowbegintosetin;butI
knowthatwewerechanginghorsessomewherewhenIheardtheguardremark,"Thattheoldladyupintheskywaspickinghergeeseprettyhardto—day。"Then,indeed,Ifoundthewhitedownfallingfastandthick。
Thelonelydayworeon,andIdozeditout,asalonelytravellerdoes。Iwaswarmandvaliantaftereatinganddrinking,——
particularlyafterdinner;coldanddepressedatallothertimes。I
wasalwaysbewilderedastotimeandplace,andalwaysmoreorlessoutofmysenses。ThecoachandhorsesseemedtoexecuteinchorusAuldLangSyne,withoutamoment’sintermission。Theykeptthetimeandtunewiththegreatestregularity,androseintotheswellatthebeginningoftheRefrain,withaprecisionthatworriedmetodeath。Whilewechangedhorses,theguardandcoachmanwentstumpingupanddowntheroad,printingofftheirshoesinthesnow,andpouredsomuchliquidconsolationintothemselveswithoutbeinganytheworseforit,thatIbegantoconfoundthem,asitdarkenedagain,withtwogreatwhitecasksstandingonend。Ourhorsestumbleddowninsolitaryplaces,andwegotthemup,——whichwasthepleasantestvarietyIhad,foritwarmedme。Anditsnowedandsnowed,andstillitsnowed,andneverleftoffsnowing。Allnightlongwewentoninthismanner。Thuswecameroundtheclock,upontheGreatNorthRoad,totheperformanceofAuldLangSynebydayagain。Anditsnowedandsnowed,andstillitsnowed,andneverleftoffsnowing。
Iforgetnowwherewewereatnoononthesecondday,andwhereweoughttohavebeen;butIknowthatwewerescoresofmilesbehindhand,andthatourcasewasgrowingworseeveryhour。Thedriftwasbecomingprodigiouslydeep;landmarksweregettingsnowedout;theroadandthefieldswereallone;insteadofhavingfencesandhedge—rowstoguideus,wewentcrunchingonoveranunbrokensurfaceofghastlywhitethatmightsinkbeneathusatanymomentanddropusdownawholehillside。Stillthecoachmanandguard——
whokepttogetheronthebox,alwaysincouncil,andlookingwellaboutthem——madeoutthetrackwithastonishingsagacity。
Whenwecameinsightofatown,itlooked,tomyfancy,likealargedrawingonaslate,withabundanceofslate—pencilexpendedonthechurchesandhouseswherethesnowlaythickest。Whenwecamewithinatown,andfoundthechurchclocksallstopped,thedial—
faceschokedwithsnow,andtheinn—signsblottedout,itseemedasifthewholeplacewereovergrownwithwhitemoss。Astothecoach,itwasameresnowball;similarly,themenandboyswhoranalongbesideustothetown’send,turningourcloggedwheelsandencouragingourhorses,weremenandboysofsnow;andthebleakwildsolitudetowhichtheyatlastdismisseduswasasnowySahara。
Onewouldhavethoughtthisenough:notwithstandingwhich,Ipledgemywordthatitsnowedandsnowed,andstillitsnowed,andneverleftoffsnowing。
WeperformedAuldLangSynethewholeday;seeingnothing,outoftownsandvillages,butthetrackofstoats,hares,andfoxes,andsometimesofbirds。Atnineo’clockatnight,onaYorkshiremoor,acheerfulburstfromourhorn,andawelcomesoundoftalking,withaglimmeringandmovingaboutoflanterns,rousedmefrommydrowsystate。Ifoundthatweweregoingtochange。
Theyhelpedmeout,andIsaidtoawaiter,whosebareheadbecameaswhiteasKingLear’sinasingleminute,"WhatInnisthis?"
"TheHolly—Tree,sir,"saidhe。
"Uponmyword,Ibelieve,"saidI,apologetically,totheguardandcoachman,"thatImuststophere。"
Nowthelandlord,andthelandlady,andtheostler,andthepost—
boy,andallthestableauthorities,hadalreadyaskedthecoachman,tothewide—eyedinterestofalltherestoftheestablishment,ifhemeanttogoon。Thecoachmanhadalreadyreplied,"Yes,he’dtakeherthroughit,"——meaningbyHerthecoach,——"ifsobeasGeorgewouldstandbyhim。"Georgewastheguard,andhehadalreadyswornthathewouldstandbyhim。Sothehelperswerealreadygettingthehorsesout。
Mydeclaringmyselfbeaten,afterthisparley,wasnotanannouncementwithoutpreparation。Indeed,butforthewaytotheannouncementbeingsmoothedbytheparley,Imorethandoubtwhether,asaninnatelybashfulman,Ishouldhavehadtheconfidencetomakeit。Asitwas,itreceivedtheapprovalevenoftheguardandcoachman。Therefore,withmanyconfirmationsofmyinclining,andmanyremarksfromonebystandertoanother,thatthegentlemancouldgofor’ardbythemailto—morrow,whereasto—nighthewouldonlybefroze,andwherewasthegoodofagentlemanbeingfroze——ah,letaloneburiedalive(whichlatterclausewasaddedbyahumoroushelperasajokeatmyexpense,andwasextremelywellreceived),Isawmyportmanteaugotoutstiff,likeafrozenbody;
didthehandsomethingbytheguardandcoachman;wishedthemgood—
nightandaprosperousjourney;and,alittleashamedofmyself,afterall,forleavingthemtofightitoutalone,followedthelandlord,landlady,andwaiteroftheHolly—Treeup—stairs。
IthoughtIhadneverseensuchalargeroomasthatintowhichtheyshowedme。Ithadfivewindows,withdarkredcurtainsthatwouldhaveabsorbedthelightofageneralillumination;andtherewerecomplicationsofdraperyatthetopofthecurtains,thatwentwanderingaboutthewallinamostextraordinarymanner。Iaskedforasmallerroom,andtheytoldmetherewasnosmallerroom。
Theycouldscreenmein,however,thelandlordsaid。Theybroughtagreatoldjapannedscreen,withnatives(Japanese,Isuppose)
engagedinavarietyofidioticpursuitsalloverit;andleftmeroastingwholebeforeanimmensefire。
Mybedroomwassomequarterofamileoff,upagreatstaircaseattheendofalonggallery;andnobodyknowswhatamiserythisistoabashfulmanwhowouldrathernotmeetpeopleonthestairs。ItwasthegrimmestroomIhaveeverhadthenightmarein;andallthefurniture,fromthefourpostsofthebedtothetwooldsilvercandle—sticks,wastall,high—shouldered,andspindle—waisted。
Below,inmysitting—room,ifIlookedroundmyscreen,thewindrushedatmelikeamadbull;ifIstucktomyarm—chair,thefirescorchedmetothecolourofanewbrick。Thechimney—piecewasveryhigh,andtherewasabadglass——whatImaycallawavyglass——
aboveit,which,whenIstoodup,justshowedmemyanteriorphrenologicaldevelopments,——andtheseneverlookwell,inanysubject,cutshortoffattheeyebrow。IfIstoodwithmybacktothefire,agloomyvaultofdarknessaboveandbeyondthescreeninsistedonbeinglookedat;and,initsdimremoteness,thedraperyofthetencurtainsofthefivewindowswenttwistingandcreepingabout,likeanestofgiganticworms。
IsupposethatwhatIobserveinmyselfmustbeobservedbysomeothermenofsimilarcharacterinthemselves;thereforeIamemboldenedtomention,that,whenItravel,IneverarriveataplacebutIimmediatelywanttogoawayfromit。BeforeIhadfinishedmysupperofbroiledfowlandmulledport,Ihadimpresseduponthewaiterindetailmyarrangementsfordepartureinthemorning。Breakfastandbillateight。Flyatnine。Twohorses,or,ifneedful,evenfour。
TiredthoughIwas,thenightappearedaboutaweeklong。Incasesofnightmare,IthoughtofAngela,andfeltmoredepressedthaneverbythereflectionthatIwasontheshortestroadtoGretnaGreen。
WhathadItodowithGretnaGreen?IwasnotgoingthatwaytotheDevil,butbytheAmericanroute,Iremarkedinmybitterness。
InthemorningIfoundthatitwassnowingstill,thatithadsnowedallnight,andthatIwassnowedup。Nothingcouldgetoutofthatspotonthemoor,orcouldcomeatit,untiltheroadhadbeencutoutbylabourersfromthemarket—town。WhentheymightcuttheirwaytotheHolly—Treenobodycouldtellme。
ItwasnowChristmas—eve。IshouldhavehadadismalChristmas—timeofitanywhere,andconsequentlythatdidnotsomuchmatter;still,beingsnowedupwaslikedyingoffrost,athingIhadnotbargainedfor。Ifeltverylonely。YetIcouldnomorehaveproposedtothelandlordandlandladytoadmitmetotheirsociety(thoughIshouldhavelikedit——verymuch)thanIcouldhaveaskedthemtopresentmewithapieceofplate。Heremygreatsecret,therealbashfulnessofmycharacter,istobeobserved。Likemostbashfulmen,Ijudgeofotherpeopleasiftheywerebashfultoo。Besidesbeingfartooshamefacedtomaketheproposalmyself,Ireallyhadadelicatemisgivingthatitwouldbeinthelastdegreedisconcertingtothem。
Tryingtosettledown,therefore,inmysolitude,Ifirstofallaskedwhatbookstherewereinthehouse。ThewaiterbroughtmeaBookofRoads,twoorthreeoldNewspapers,alittleSong—Book,terminatinginacollectionofToastsandSentiments,alittleJest—
Book,anoddvolumeofPeregrinePickle,andtheSentimentalJourney。Ikneweverywordofthetwolastalready,butIreadthemthroughagain,thentriedtohumallthesongs(AuldLangSynewasamongthem);wententirelythroughthejokes,——inwhichIfoundafundofmelancholyadaptedtomystateofmind;proposedallthetoasts,enunciatedallthesentiments,andmasteredthepapers。Thelatterhadnothinginthembutstockadvertisements,ameetingaboutacountyrate,andahighwayrobbery。AsIamagreedyreader,I
couldnotmakethissupplyholdoutuntilnight;itwasexhaustedbytea—time。Beingthenentirelycastuponmyownresources,Igotthroughanhourinconsideringwhattodonext。Ultimately,itcameintomyhead(fromwhichIwasanxiousbyanymeanstoexcludeAngelaandEdwin),thatIwouldendeavourtorecallmyexperienceofInns,andwouldtryhowlongitlastedme。Istirredthefire,movedmychairalittletoonesideofthescreen,——notdaringtogofar,forIknewthewindwaswaitingtomakearushatme,Icouldhearitgrowling,——andbegan。
MyfirstimpressionsofanInndatedfromtheNursery;consequentlyIwentbacktotheNurseryforastarting—point,andfoundmyselfatthekneeofasallowwomanwithafishyeye,anaquilinenose,andagreengown,whosespeciallywasadismalnarrativeofalandlordbytheroadside,whosevisitorsunaccountablydisappearedformanyyears,untilitwasdiscoveredthatthepursuitofhislifehadbeentoconvertthemintopies。Forthebetterdevotionofhimselftothisbranchofindustry,hehadconstructedasecretdoorbehindtheheadofthebed;andwhenthevisitor(oppressedwithpie)hadfallenasleep,thiswickedlandlordwouldlooksoftlyinwithalampinonehandandaknifeintheother,wouldcuthisthroat,andwouldmakehimintopies;forwhichpurposehehadcoppers,underneathatrap—door,alwaysboiling;androlledouthispastryinthedeadofthenight。Yetevenhewasnotinsensibletothestingsofconscience,forheneverwenttosleepwithoutbeingheardtomutter,"Toomuchpepper!"whichwaseventuallythecauseofhisbeingbroughttojustice。Ihadnosoonerdisposedofthiscriminalthantherestartedupanotherofthesameperiod,whoseprofessionwasoriginallyhouse—breaking;inthepursuitofwhicharthehadhadhisrightearchoppedoffonenight,ashewasburglariouslygettinginatawindow,byabraveandlovelyservant—maid(whomtheaquiline—nosedwoman,thoughnotatallansweringthedescription,alwaysmysteriouslyimpliedtobeherself)。Afterseveralyears,thisbraveandlovelyservant—maidwasmarriedtothelandlordofacountryInn;whichlandlordhadthisremarkablecharacteristic,thathealwaysworeasilknightcap,andneverwouldonanyconsiderationtakeitoff。Atlast,onenight,whenhewasfastasleep,thebraveandlovelywomanlifteduphissilknightcapontherightside,andfoundthathehadnoearthere;uponwhichshesagaciouslyperceivedthathewastheclippedhousebreaker,whohadmarriedherwiththeintentionofputtinghertodeath。Sheimmediatelyheatedthepokerandterminatedhiscareer,forwhichshewastakentoKingGeorgeuponhisthrone,andreceivedthecomplimentsofroyaltyonhergreatdiscretionandvalour。Thissamenarrator,whohadaGhoulishpleasure,Ihavelongbeenpersuaded,interrifyingmetotheutmostconfinesofmyreason,hadanotherauthenticanecdotewithinherownexperience,founded,Inowbelieve,uponRaymondandAgnes,ortheBleedingNun。Shesaidithappenedtoherbrother—in—law,whowasimmenselyrich,——whichmyfatherwasnot;andimmenselytall,——whichmyfatherwasnot。ItwasalwaysapointwiththisGhoultopresentmyclearestrelationsandfriendstomyyouthfulmindundercircumstancesofdisparagingcontrast。Thebrother—in—lawwasridingoncethroughaforestonamagnificenthorse(wehadnomagnificenthorseatourhouse),attendedbyafavouriteandvaluableNewfoundlanddog(wehadnodog),whenhefoundhimselfbenighted,andcametoanInn。Adarkwomanopenedthedoor,andheaskedherifhecouldhaveabedthere。Sheansweredyes,andputhishorseinthestable,andtookhimintoaroomwherethereweretwodarkmen。Whilehewasatsupper,aparrotintheroombegantotalk,saying,"Blood,blood!Wipeuptheblood!"Uponwhichoneofthedarkmenwrungtheparrot’sneck,andsaidhewasfondofroastedparrots,andhemeanttohavethisoneforbreakfastinthemorning。Aftereatinganddrinkingheartily,theimmenselyrich,tallbrother—in—lawwentuptobed;buthewasrathervexed,becausetheyhadshuthisdoginthestable,sayingthattheyneveralloweddogsinthehouse。Hesatveryquietformorethananhour,thinkingandthinking,when,justashiscandlewasburningout,heheardascratchatthedoor。Heopenedthedoor,andtherewastheNewfoundlanddog!Thedogcamesoftlyin,smeltabouthim,wentstraighttosomestrawinthecornerwhichthedarkmenhadsaidcoveredapples,torethestrawaway,anddisclosedtwosheetssteepedinblood。Justatthatmomentthecandlewentout,andthebrother—in—law,lookingthroughachinkinthedoor,sawthetwodarkmenstealingup—stairs;onearmedwithadaggerthatlong(aboutfivefeet);theothercarryingachopper,asack,andaspade。Havingnoremembranceofthecloseofthisadventure,I
supposemyfacultiestohavebeenalwayssofrozenwithterroratthisstageofit,thatthepoweroflisteningstagnatedwithinmeforsomequarterofanhour。
Thesebarbarousstoriescarriedme,sittingthereontheHolly—Treehearth,totheRoadsideInn,renownedinmytimeinasixpennybookwithafoldingplate,representinginacentralcompartmentofovalformtheportraitofJonathanBradford,andinfourcornercompartmentsfourincidentsofthetragedywithwhichthenameisassociated,——colouredwithahandatoncesofreeandeconomical,thatthebloomofJonathan’scomplexionpassedwithoutanypauseintothebreechesoftheostler,and,smearingitselfoffintothenextdivision,becameruminabottle。ThenIrememberedhowthelandlordwasfoundatthemurderedtraveller’sbedside,withhisownknifeathisfeet,andblooduponhishand;howhewashangedforthemurder,notwithstandinghisprotestationthathehadindeedcometheretokillthetravellerforhissaddle—bags,buthadbeenstrickenmotionlessonfindinghimalreadyslain;andhowtheostler,yearsafterwards,ownedthedeed。BythistimeIhadmademyselfquiteuncomfortable。Istirredthefire,andstoodwithmybacktoitaslongasIcouldbeartheheat,lookingupatthedarknessbeyondthescreen,andatthewormycurtainscreepinginandcreepingout,likethewormsintheballadofAlonzotheBraveandtheFairImogene。
TherewasanInninthecathedraltownwhereIwenttoschool,whichhadpleasanterrecollectionsaboutitthananyofthese。Itookitnext。ItwastheInnwherefriendsusedtoputup,andwhereweusedtogotoseeparents,andtohavesalmonandfowls,andbetipped。Ithadanecclesiasticalsign,——theMitre,——andabarthatseemedtobethenextbestthingtoabishopric,itwassosnug。I
lovedthelandlord’syoungestdaughtertodistraction,——butletthatpass。ItwasinthisInnthatIwascriedoverbymyrosylittlesister,becauseIhadacquiredablackeyeinafight。Andthoughshehadbeen,thatHolly—Treenight,formanyalongyearwherealltearsaredried,theMitresoftenedmeyet。
"Tobecontinuedto—morrow,"saidI,whenItookmycandletogotobed。Butmybedtookituponitselftocontinuethetrainofthoughtthatnight。Itcarriedmeaway,liketheenchantedcarpet,toadistantplace(thoughstillinEngland),andthere,alightingfromastage—coachatanotherInninthesnow,asIhadactuallydonesomeyearsbefore,IrepeatedinmysleepacuriousexperienceIhadreallyhadthere。MorethanayearbeforeImadethejourneyinthecourseofwhichIputupatthatInn,Ihadlostaverynearanddearfriendbydeath。Everynightsince,athomeorawayfromhome,Ihaddreamedofthatfriend;sometimesasstillliving;
sometimesasreturningfromtheworldofshadowstocomfortme;
alwaysasbeingbeautiful,placid,andhappy,neverinassociationwithanyapproachtofearordistress。ItwasatalonelyInninawidemoorlandplace,thatIhaltedtopassthenight。WhenIhadlookedfrommybedroomwindowoverthewasteofsnowonwhichthemoonwasshining,Isatdownbymyfiretowritealetter。Ihadalways,untilthathour,keptitwithinmyownbreastthatIdreamedeverynightofthedearlostone。ButintheletterthatIwroteI
recordedthecircumstance,andaddedthatIfeltmuchinterestedinprovingwhetherthesubjectofmydreamwouldstillbefaithfultome,travel—tired,andinthatremoteplace。No。Ilostthebelovedfigureofmyvisioninpartingwiththesecret。Mysleephasneverlookeduponitsince,insixteenyears,butonce。IwasinItaly,andawoke(orseemedtoawake),thewell—rememberedvoicedistinctlyinmyears,conversingwithit。Ientreatedit,asitroseabovemybedandsoareduptothevaultedroofoftheoldroom,toanswermeaquestionIhadaskedtouchingtheFutureLife。Myhandswerestilloutstretchedtowardsitasitvanished,whenIheardabellringingbythegardenwall,andavoiceinthedeepstillnessofthenightcallingonallgoodChristianstoprayforthesoulsofthedead;itbeingAllSouls’Eve。
ToreturntotheHolly—Tree。WhenIawokenextday,itwasfreezinghard,andtheloweringskythreatenedmoresnow。Mybreakfastclearedaway,Idrewmychairintoitsformerplace,and,withthefiregettingsomuchthebetterofthelandscapethatIsatintwilight,resumedmyInnremembrances。
ThatwasagoodInndowninWiltshirewhereIputuponce,inthedaysofthehardWiltshireale,andbeforeallbeerwasbitterness。
ItwasontheskirtsofSalisburyPlain,andthemidnightwindthatrattledmylatticewindowcamemoaningatmefromStonehenge。Therewasahanger—onatthatestablishment(asupernaturallypreservedDruidIbelievehimtohavebeen,andtobestill),withlongwhitehair,andaflintyblueeyealwayslookingafaroff;whoclaimedtohavebeenashepherd,andwhoseemedtobeeverwatchingforthereappearance,onthevergeofthehorizon,ofsomeghostlyflockofsheepthathadbeenmuttonformanyages。HewasamanwithaweirdbeliefinhimthatnoonecouldcountthestonesofStonehengetwice,andmakethesamenumberofthem;likewise,thatanyonewhocountedthemthreetimesninetimes,andthenstoodinthecentreandsaid,"Idare!"wouldbeholdatremendousapparition,andbestrickendead。Hepretendedtohaveseenabustard(Isuspecthimtohavebeenfamiliarwiththedodo),inmannerfollowing:Hewasoutupontheplainatthecloseofalateautumnday,whenhedimlydiscerned,goingonbeforehimatacuriousfitfullyboundingpace,whatheatfirstsupposedtobeagig—umbrellathathadbeenblownfromsomeconveyance,butwhathepresentlybelievedtobealeandwarfmanuponalittlepony。Havingfollowedthisobjectforsomedistancewithoutgainingonit,andhavingcalledtoitmanytimeswithoutreceivinganyanswer,hepursueditformilesandmiles,when,atlengthcomingupwithit,hediscoveredittobethelastbustardinGreatBritain,degeneratedintoawinglessstate,andrunningalongtheground。Resolvedtocapturehimorperishintheattempt,heclosedwiththebustard;butthebustard,whohadformedacounter—resolutionthatheshoulddoneither,threwhim,stunnedhim,andwaslastseenmakingoffduewest。Thisweirdmain,atthatstageofmetempsychosis,mayhavebeenasleep—walkeroranenthusiastorarobber;butIawokeonenighttofindhiminthedarkatmybedside,repeatingtheAthanasianCreedinaterrificvoice。Ipaidmybillnextday,andretiredfromthecountywithallpossibleprecipitation。
ThatwasnotacommonplacestorywhichworkeditselfoutatalittleInninSwitzerland,whileIwasstayingthere。Itwasaveryhomelyplace,inavillageofonenarrowzigzagstreet,amongmountains,andyouwentinatthemaindoorthroughthecow—house,andamongthemulesandthedogsandthefowls,beforeascendingagreatbarestaircasetotherooms;whichwereallofunpaintedwood,withoutplasteringorpapering,——likeroughpacking—cases。Outsidetherewasnothingbutthestragglingstreet,alittletoychurchwithacopper—colouredsteeple,apineforest,atorrent,mists,andmountain—sides。AyoungmanbelongingtothisInnhaddisappearedeightweeksbefore(itwaswinter—time),andwassupposedtohavehadsomeundiscoveredloveaffair,andtohavegoneforasoldier。
Hehadgotupinthenight,anddroppedintothevillagestreetfromtheloftinwhichhesleptwithanotherman;andhehaddoneitsoquietly,thathiscompanionandfellow—labourerhadheardnomovementwhenhewasawakenedinthemorning,andtheysaid,"Louis,whereisHenri?"Theylookedforhimhighandlow,invain,andgavehimup。Now,outsidethisInn,therestood,astherestoodoutsideeverydwellinginthevillage,astackoffirewood;butthestackbelongingtotheInnwashigherthananyoftherest,becausetheInnwastherichesthouse,andburntthemostfuel。Itbegantobenoticed,whiletheywerelookinghighandlow,thataBantamcock,partofthelivestockoftheInn,puthimselfwonderfullyoutofhiswaytogettothetopofthiswood—stack;andthathewouldstaythereforhoursandhours,crowing,untilheappearedindangerofsplittinghimself。Fiveweekswenton,——sixweeks,——andstillthisterribleBantam,neglectinghisdomesticaffairs,wasalwaysonthetopofthewood—stack,crowingtheveryeyesoutofhishead。
BythistimeitwasperceivedthatLouishadbecomeinspiredwithaviolentanimositytowardstheterribleBantam,andonemorninghewasseenbyawoman,whosatnursinghergoitreatalittlewindowinagleamofsun,tocatchuparoughbilletofwood,withagreatoath,hurlitattheterribleBantamcrowingonthewood—stack,andbringhimdowndead。Hereuponthewoman,withasuddenlightinhermind,stoleroundtothebackofthewood—stack,and,beingagoodclimber,asallthosewomenare,climbedup,andsoonwasseenuponthesummit,screaming,lookingdownthehollowwithin,andcrying,"SeizeLouis,themurderer!Ringthechurchbell!Hereisthebody!"Isawthemurdererthatday,andIsawhimasIsatbymyfireattheHolly—TreeInn,andIseehimnow,lyingshackledwithcordsonthestablelitter,amongthemildeyesandthesmokingbreathofthecows,waitingtobetakenawaybythepolice,andstaredatbythefearfulvillage。Aheavyanimal,——thedullestanimalinthestables,——withastupidhead,andalumpishfacedevoidofanytraceofinsensibility,whohadbeen,withintheknowledgeofthemurderedyouth,anembezzlerofcertainsmallmoneysbelongingtohismaster,andwhohadtakenthishopefulmodeofputtingapossibleaccuseroutofhisway。Allofwhichheconfessednextday,likeasulkywretchwhocouldn’tbetroubledanymore,nowthattheyhadgotholdofhim,andmeanttomakeanendofhim。Isawhimonceagain,onthedayofmydeparturefromtheInn。
InthatCantontheheadsmanstilldoeshisofficewithasword;andIcameuponthismurderersittingbound,toachair,withhiseyesbandaged,onascaffoldinalittlemarket—place。Inthatinstant,agreatsword(loadedwithquicksilverinthethickpartoftheblade)sweptroundhimlikeagustofwindorfire,andtherewasnosuchcreatureintheworld。Mywonderwas,notthathewassosuddenlydispatched,butthatanyheadwasleftunreaped,withinaradiusoffiftyyardsofthattremendoussickle。
ThatwasagoodInn,too,withthekind,cheerfullandladyandthehonestlandlord,whereIlivedintheshadowofMontBlanc,andwhereoneoftheapartmentshasazoologicalpaperingonthewalls,notsoaccuratelyjoinedbutthattheelephantoccasionallyrejoicesinatiger’shindlegsandtail,whilethelionputsonatrunkandtusks,andthebear,moultingasitwere,appearsastoportionsofhimselflikealeopard。ImadeseveralAmericanfriendsatthatInn,whoallcalledMontBlancMountBlank,——exceptonegood—
humouredgentleman,ofaverysociablenature,whobecameonsuchintimatetermswithitthathespokeofitfamiliarlyas"Blank;"
observing,atbreakfast,"Blanklooksprettytallthismorning;"orconsiderablydoubtinginthecourtyardintheevening,whethertherewarn’tsomego—aheadnatersinourcountry,sir,thatwouldmakeoutthetopofBlankinacoupleofhoursfromfirststart——now!
OnceIpassedafortnightatanInnintheNorthofEngland,whereI
washauntedbytheghostofatremendouspie。ItwasaYorkshirepie,likeafort,——anabandonedfortwithnothinginit;butthewaiterhadafixedideathatitwasapointofceremonyateverymealtoputthepieonthetable。AftersomedaysItriedtohint,inseveraldelicateways,thatIconsideredthepiedonewith;as,forexample,byemptyingfag—endsofglassesofwineintoit;
puttingcheese—platesandspoonsintoit,asintoabasket;puttingwine—bottlesintoit,asintoacooler;butalwaysinvain,thepiebeinginvariablycleanedoutagainandbroughtupasbefore。Atlast,beginningtobedoubtfulwhetherIwasnotthevictimofaspectralillusion,andwhethermyhealthandspiritsmightnotsinkunderthehorrorsofanimaginarypie,Icutatriangleoutofit,fullyaslargeasthemusicalinstrumentofthatnameinapowerfulorchestra。Humanprovisioncouldnothaveforeseentheresult——butthewaitermendedthepie。Withsomeeffectualspeciesofcement,headroitlyfittedthetriangleinagain,andIpaidmyreckoningandfled。
TheHolly—Treewasgettingratherdismal。Imadeanoverlandexpeditionbeyondthescreen,andpenetratedasfarasthefourthwindow。HereIwasdrivenbackbystressofweather。Arrivedatmywinter—quartersoncemore,Imadeupthefire,andtookanotherInn。
ItwasintheremotestpartofCornwall。AgreatannualMiners’
FeastwasbeingholdenattheInn,whenIandmytravellingcompanionspresentedourselvesatnightamongthewildcrowdthatweredancingbeforeitbytorchlight。Wehadhadabreak—downinthedark,onastonymorasssomemilesaway;andIhadthehonourofleadingoneoftheunharnessedpost—horses。Ifanyladyorgentleman,onperusalofthepresentlines,willtakeanyverytallpost—horsewithhistraceshangingabouthislegs,andwillconducthimbythebearing—reinintotheheartofacountrydanceofahundredandfiftycouples,thatladyorgentlemanwillthen,andonlythen,formanadequateideaoftheextenttowhichthatpost—
horsewilltreadonhisconductor’stoes。Overandabovewhich,thepost—horse,findingthreehundredpeoplewhirlingabouthim,willprobablyrear,andalsolashoutwithhishindlegs,inamannerincompatiblewithdignityorself—respectonhisconductor’spart。
Withsuchlittledrawbacksonmyusuallyimpressiveaspect,I
appearedatthisCornishInn,totheunutterablewonderoftheCornishMiners。Itwasfull,andtwentytimesfull,andnobodycouldbereceivedbutthepost—horse,——thoughtogetridofthatnobleanimalwassomething。Whilemyfellow—travellersandIwerediscussinghowtopassthenightandsomuchofthenextdayasmustintervenebeforethejovialblacksmithandthejovialwheelwrightwouldbeinaconditiontogooutonthemorassandmendthecoach,anhonestmansteppedforthfromthecrowdandproposedhisunletflooroftworooms,withsupperofeggsandbacon,aleandpunch。
Wejoyfullyaccompaniedhimhometothestrangestofcleanhouses,wherewewerewellentertainedtothesatisfactionofallparties。
Butthenovelfeatureoftheentertainmentwas,thatourhostwasachair—maker,andthatthechairsassignedtousweremereframes,altogetherwithoutbottomsofanysort;sothatwepassedtheeveningonperches。Norwasthistheabsurdestconsequence;forwhenweunbentatsupper,andanyoneofusgavewaytolaughter,heforgotthepeculiarityofhisposition,andinstantlydisappeared。
Imyself,doubledupintoanattitudefromwhichself—extricationwasimpossible,wastakenoutofmyframe,likeaclowninacomicpantomimewhohastumbledintoatub,fivetimesbythetaper’slightduringtheeggsandbacon。
TheHolly—Treewasfastrevivingwithinmeasenseofloneliness。I
begantofeelconsciousthatmysubjectwouldnevercarryonuntilI
wasdugout。Imightbeaweekhere,——weeks!
Therewasastorywithasingularideainit,connectedwithanInnIoncepassedanightatinapicturesqueoldtownontheWelshborder。Inalargedouble—beddedroomofthisInntherehadbeenasuicidecommittedbypoison,inonebed,whileatiredtravellersleptunconsciousintheother。Afterthattime,thesuicidebedwasneverused,buttheotherconstantlywas;thedisusedbedsteadremainingintheroomempty,thoughastoallotherrespectsinitsoldstate。Thestoryran,thatwhosoeversleptinthisroom,thoughneversoentireastranger,fromneversofaroff,wasinvariablyobservedtocomedowninthemorningwithanimpressionthathesmeltLaudanum,andthathismindalwaysturneduponthesubjectofsuicide;towhich,whateverkindofmanhemightbe,hewascertaintomakesomereferenceifheconversedwithanyone。Thiswentonforyears,untilitatlengthinducedthelandlordtotakethedisusedbedsteaddown,andbodilyburnit,——bed,hangings,andall。
Thestrangeinfluence(thiswasthestory)nowchangedtoafainterone,butneverchangedafterwards。Theoccupantofthatroom,withoccasionalbutveryrareexceptions,wouldcomedowninthemorning,tryingtorecallaforgottendreamhehadhadinthenight。Thelandlord,onhismentioninghisperplexity,wouldsuggestvariouscommonplacesubjects,notoneofwhich,asheverywellknew,wasthetruesubject。Butthemomentthelandlordsuggested"Poison,"
thetravellerstarted,andcried,"Yes!"Heneverfailedtoacceptthatsuggestion,andheneverrecalledanymoreofthedream。
ThisreminiscencebroughttheWelshInnsingeneralbeforeme;withthewomenintheirroundhats,andtheharperswiththeirwhitebeards(venerable,buthumbugs,Iamafraid),playingoutsidethedoorwhileItookmydinner。ThetransitionwasnaturaltotheHighlandInns,withtheoatmealbannocks,thehoney,thevenisonsteaks,thetroutfromtheloch,thewhisky,andperhaps(havingthematerialssotemptinglyathand)theAtholbrose。OncewasIcomingsouthfromtheScottishHighlandsinhothaste,hopingtochangequicklyatthestationatthebottomofacertainwildhistoricalglen,whentheseeyesdidwithmortificationseethelandlordcomeoutwithatelescopeandsweepthewholeprospectforthehorses;
whichhorseswereawaypickinguptheirownliving,anddidnotheaveinsightunderfourhours。Havingthoughtoftheloch—trout,IwastakenbyquickassociationtotheAnglers’InnsofEngland(I
haveassistedatinnumerablefeatsofanglingbylyinginthebottomoftheboat,wholesummerdays,doingnothingwiththegreatestperseverance;whichIhavegenerallyfoundtobeaseffectualtowardsthetakingoffishasthefinesttackleandtheutmostscience),andtothepleasantwhite,clean,flower—pot—decoratedbedroomsofthoseinns,overlookingtheriver,andtheferry,andthegreenait,andthechurch—spire,andthecountrybridge;andtothepearlessEmmawiththebrighteyesandtheprettysmile,whowaited,blessher!withanaturalgracethatwouldhaveconvertedBlue—Beard。CastingmyeyesuponmyHolly—Treefire,InextdiscernedamongtheglowingcoalsthepicturesofascoreormoreofthosewonderfulEnglishposting—innswhichweareallsosorrytohavelost,whichweresolargeandsocomfortable,andwhichweresuchmonumentsofBritishsubmissiontorapacityandextortion。Hewhowouldseethesehousespiningaway,lethimwalkfromBasingstoke,orevenWindsor,toLondon,bywayofHounslow,andmoraliseontheirperishingremains;thestablescrumblingtodust;
unsettledlabourersandwanderersbivouackingintheouthouses;
grassgrowingintheyards;therooms,whereerstsomanyhundredbedsofdownweremadeup,letofftoIrishlodgersateighteenpenceaweek;alittleill—lookingbeer—shopshrinkinginthetapofformerdays,burningcoach—housegatesforfirewood,havingoneofitstwowindowsbungedup,asifithadreceivedpunishmentinafightwiththeRailroad;alow,bandy—legged,brick—makingbulldogstandinginthedoorway。WhatcouldInextseeinmyfiresonaturallyasthenewrailway—houseofthesetimesnearthedismalcountrystation;withnothingparticularondraughtbutcoldairanddamp,nothingworthmentioninginthelarderbutnewmortar,andnobusinessdoingbeyondaconceitedaffectationofluggageinthehall?ThenIcametotheInnsofParis,withtheprettyapartmentoffourpiecesuponehundredandseventy—fivewaxedstairs,theprivilegeofringingthebellalldaylongwithoutinfluencinganybody’smindorbodybutyourown,andthenot—too—much—for—