byAristophanesanonymoustranslatorCHARACTERSINTHEPLAY
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　NICIAS
　　AGORACRITUS，aSausage—SellerCLEON
　　DEMOS
　　CHORUSOFKNIGHTS
　　KNIGHTS
　　（SCENE：—TheOrchestrarepresentsthePnyxatAthens；intheback—
　　groundisthehouseofDEMOS。）
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Oh！alas！alas！alas！Oh！woe！oh！woe！MiserablePaphlagonian！
　　maythegodsdestroybothhimandhiscursedadvice！Sincethatevildaywhenthisnewslaveenteredthehousehehasneverceasedbelabouringuswithblows。
　　NICIAS
　　Maytheplagueseizehim，thearch—fiend—himandhislyingtales！
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Hah！mypoorfellow，whatisyourcondition？
　　NICIAS
　　Verywretched，justlikeyourown。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Thencome，letussingaduetofgroansinthestyleofOlympus。
　　DEMOSTHENESANDNICIAS
　　Boo，hoo！boo，hoo！boo，hoo！boo，hoo！boo，hoo！boo，hoo！！
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Bah！it’slostlabourtoweep！Enoughofgroaning！Letusconsidernowtosaveourpelts。
　　NICIAS
　　Buthowtodoit！Canyousuggestanything？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　No，youbegin。Icedeyouthehonour。
　　NICIAS
　　ByApollo！no，notI。Come，havecourage！Speak，andthenIwillsaywhatIthink。
　　DEMOSTHENES（intragicstyle）
　　"Ah！wouldyoubuttellmewhatIshouldtellyou！
　　NICIAS
　　Idarenot。HowcouldIexpressmythoughtswiththepompofEuripides？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Oh！pleasespareme！Donotpeltmewiththosevegetables，butfindsomewayofleavingourmaster。
　　NICIAS
　　Well，then！Say"Let—us—bolt，"likethis，inonebreath。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Ifollowyou—’Let—us—bolt。"
　　NICIAS
　　Nowafter"Let—us—bolt"say"at—top—speedDEMOSTHENES
　　"At—top—speed！
　　NICIAS
　　Splendid！justasifyouweremasturbating；firstslowly，"Let—us—bolt"；thenquickandfirmly，"at—top—speed！"
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Let—us—bolt，let—us—bolt—at—top—speed！
　　NICIAS
　　Hah！doesthatnotpleaseyou？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Yes，indeed，yetIfearyouromenbodesnogoodtomyhide。
　　NICIAS
　　Howso？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Becausemasturbationchafestheskin。
　　NICIAS
　　Thebestthingwecandoforthemomentistothrowourselvesatthefeetofthestatueofsomegod。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Ofwhichstatue？Anystatue？Doyouthenbelievetherearegods？
　　NICIAS
　　Certainly。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Whatproofhaveyou？
　　NICIAS
　　Theproofthattheyhavetakenagrudgeagainstme。Isthatnotenough？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　I’mconvinceditis。Buttopasson。Doyouconsenttomytellingthespectatorsofourtroubles？
　　NICIAS
　　There’snothingwrongwiththat，andwemightaskthemtoshowusbytheirmanner，whetherourfactsandactionsaretotheirliking。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Iwillbeginthen。Wehaveaverybrutalmaster，aperfectgluttonforbeans，andmostbad—tempered；it’sDemosofthePnyx，anintolerableoldmanandhalfdeaf。Thebeginningoflastmonthheboughtaslave，aPaphlagoniantanner，anarrantrogue，theincarnationofcalumny。Thismanofleatherknowshisoldmasterthoroughly；heplaysthefawningcur，flatters，cajoles，wheedles，anddupeshimatwillwithlittlescrapsofleavings，whichheallowshimtoget。"DearDemos，"hewillsay，"tryasinglecaseandyouwillhavedoneenough；thentakeyourbath，eat，swallowanddevour；herearethreeobols。"ThenthePaphlagonianfilchesfromoneofuswhatwehavepreparedandmakesapresentofittoouroldman。TheotherdayIhadjustkneadedaSpartancakeatPylos，thecunningroguecamebehindmyback，sneakeditandofferedthecake，whichwasmyinvention，inhisownname。Hekeepsusatadistanceandsuffersnonebuthimselftowaituponthemaster；whenDemosisdining，hekeepsclosetohissidewithathonginhishandandputstheoratorstoflight。Hekeepssingingoraclestohim，sothattheoldmannowthinksofnothingbuttheSibyl。Then，whenheseeshimthoroughlyobfuscated，heusesallhiscunningandpilesupliesandcalumniesagainstthehousehold；thenwearescourgedandthePaphlagonianrunsaboutamongtheslavestodemandcontributionswiththreatsandgatherstheminwithbothhands。Hewillsay，"YouseehowIhavehadHylasbeaten！Eithercontentmeordieatonce！"Weareforcedtogive，forotherwisetheoldmantramplesonusandmakesuscrapforthallourbodycontains。（ToNICIAS）Theremustbeanendtoit，friendLetussee！whatcanbedone？Whowillgetusoutofthismess？
　　NICIAS
　　Thebestthing，friend，isourfamous"Let—us—bolt！"
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　ButnonecanescapethePaphlagonian，hiseyeiseverywhere。Andwhatastride！HehasonelegonPylosandtheotherintheAssembly；hisarsegapesexactlyoverthelandoftheChaonians，hishandsarewiththeAetoliansandhismindwiththeClopidians。
　　NICIAS
　　It’sbestthentodie；butletusseekthemostheroicdeath。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Letmethink，whatisthemostheroic？
　　NICIAS
　　Letusdrinkthebloodofabull；that’sthedeathThemistocleschose。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　No，notthat，butabumperofgoodunmixedwineinhonouroftheGoodGenius；perchancewemaystumbleonahappythought。
　　NICIAS
　　Lookathim！"Unmixedwine！"Yourmindisondrinkintent？Canamanstrikeoutabrilliantthoughtwhendrunk？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Withoutquestion。Go，ninny，blowyourselfoutwithwater；doyoudaretoaccusewineofcloudingthereason？Quotememoremarvellouseffectsthanthoseofwine。Look！whenamandrinks，heisrich，everythinghetouchessucceeds，hegainslawsuits，ishappyandhelpshisfriends。Come，bringhitherquickaflagonofwine，thatImaysoakmybrainandgetaningeniousidea。
　　NICIAS
　　MyGod！Whatcanyourdrinkingdotohelpus？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Much。Butbringittome，whileItakemyseat。Oncedrunk，I
　　shallstrewlittleideas，littlephrases，littlereasoningseverywhere。
　　（NICIASentersthehouseandreturnsalmostimmediatelywithabottle。）
　　NICIAS
　　ItisluckyIwasnotcaughtinthehousestealingthewine。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Tellme，whatisthePaphlagoniandoingnow？
　　NICIAS
　　Thewretchhasjustgobbledupsomeconfiscatedcakes；heisdrunkandliesatfull—lengthsnoringonhishides。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Verywell，comealong，pourmeoutwineandplentyofit。
　　NICIAS
　　TakeitandofferalibationtoyourGoodGenius。
　　DEMOSTHENES（tohimself）
　　Inhale，ah，inhalethespiritofthegeniusofPramnium。（Hedrinks。Inspiredly）Ah！GoodGenius，thinetheplan，notmine！
　　NICIAS
　　Tellme，whatisit？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　RunindoorsquickandstealtheoraclesofthePaphlagonian，whileheisasleep。
　　NICIAS
　　Blessme！IfearthisGoodGeniuswillbebutaveryBadGeniusforme。
　　（Hegoesintothehouse。）
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　AndI’llsettheflagonnearme，thatImaymoistenmywittoinventsomebrilliantnotion。
　　（NICIASentersthehouseandreturnsatonce。）
　　NICIAS
　　HowloudlythePaphlagonianfartsandsnores！Iwasabletoseizethesacredoracle，whichhewasguardingwiththegreatestcare，withouthisseeingme。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Oh！cleverfellow！Handithere，thatImayread。Come，pourmeoutsomedrink，bestiryourself！Letmeseewhatthereisinit。Oh！
　　prophecy！Somedrink！somedrink！Quick！
　　NICIAS
　　Well！whatsaystheoracle？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Pouragain。
　　NICIAS
　　Is"Pouragain"intheoracle？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Oh，Bacis！
　　NICIAS
　　Butwhatisinit？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Quick！somedrink！
　　NICIAS
　　Bacisisverydry！
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Oh！miserablePaphlagonian！Thistheniswhyyouhavesolongtakensuchprecautions；yourhoroscopegaveyouqualmsofterror。
　　NICIAS
　　Whatdoesitsay？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Itsaysherehowhemustend。
　　NICIAS
　　Andhow？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　How？theoracleannouncesclearlythatadealerinoakummustfirstgovernthecity。
　　NICIAS
　　That’sonetradesman。Andafterhim，who？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Afterhim，asheep—dealer。
　　NICIAS
　　Twotradesmen，eh？Andwhatisthisone’sfate？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Toreignuntilafilthierscoundrelthanhearises；thenheperishesandinhisplacetheleather—sellerappears，thePaphlagonianrobber，thebawler，whoroarslikeatorrent。
　　NICIAS
　　Andtheleather—sellermustdestroythesheep—seller？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Yes。
　　NICIAS
　　Ohwoeisme！Wherecananothersellerbefound，isthereeveraoneleft？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Thereisyetone，whopliesafirst—ratetrade。
　　NICIAS
　　Tellme，pray，whatisthat？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Youreallywanttoknow？
　　NICIAS
　　Yes。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Wellthen！it’sasausage—sellerwhomustoverthrowhim。
　　NICIAS
　　Asausage—seller！Ah！byPosidon！whatafinetrade！Butwherecanthismanbefound？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Let’sseekhim。Butlook！thereheis，goingtowardsthemarket—place；’tisthegods，thegodswhosendhim！（Callingout）Thisway，thisway，oh；luckysausage—seller，comeforward，dearfriend，oursaviour，thesaviourofourcity。
　　（EnterAGORACRITUS，asellerofsausages，carryingabasketofhiswares。）
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Whatisit？Whydoyoucallme？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Comehere，comeandlearnaboutyourgoodluck，youwhoareFortune’sfavourite！
　　NICIAS
　　Come！Relievehimofhisbasket—trayandtellhimtheoracleofthegod；IwillgoandlookafterthePaphlagonian。
　　（Hegoesintothehouse。）
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Firstputdownallyourgear，thenworshiptheearthandthegods。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Done。Whatisthematter？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Happiness，riches，power；to—dayyouhavenothing，to—morrowyouwillhaveall，oh！chiefofhappyAthens。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Whynotleavemetowashmytripeandtosellmysausagesinsteadofmakinggameofme？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Oh！thefool！Yourtripe！Doyouseethesetiersofpeople？
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Yes。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Youshallbemastertothemall，governorofthemarket，oftheharbours，ofthePnyx；youshalltrampletheSenateunderfoot，beabletocashierthegenerals，loadthemwithfetters，throwthemintogaol，andyouwillfornicateinthePrytaneum。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　What！I？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　You，withoutadoubt。Butyoudonotyetseeallthegloryawaitingyou。StandonyourbasketandlookatalltheislandsthatsurroundAthens。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Iseethem。Whatthen？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Lookatthestorehousesandtheshipping。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Yes，Iamlooking。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Existsthereamortalmoreblestthanyou？Furthermore，turnyourrighteyetowardsCariaandyourlefttowardCarthage！
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Thenit’sablessingtobecock—eyed！
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　No，butyouaretheonewhoisgoingtotradeawayallthis。
　　Accordingtotheoracleyoumustbecomethegreatestofmen。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Justtellmehowasausage—sellercanbecomeagreatman。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Thatispreciselywhyyouwillbegreat，becauseyouareasadrascalwithoutshame，nobetterthanacommonmarketrogue。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Idonotholdmyselfworthyofwieldingpower。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Oh！bythegods！Whydoyounotholdyourselfworthy？Haveyouthensuchagoodopinionofyourself？Come，areyouofhonestparentage？
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Bythegods！No！ofverybadindeed。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Spoiltchildoffortune，everythingfitstogethertoensureyourgreatness。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　ButIhavenothadtheleasteducation。Icanonlyread，andthatverybadly。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Thatiswhatmaystandinyourway，almostknowinghowtoread。
　　Ademagoguemustbeneitheraneducatednoranhonestman；hehastobeanignoramusandarogue。Butdonot，donotletgothisgift，whichtheoraclepromises。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Butwhatdoestheoraclesay？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Faith，itisputtogetherinveryfineenigmaticalstyle，aselegantasitisdear："Whentheeagle—tannerwiththehookedclawsshallseizeastupiddragon，ablood—sucker，itwillbeanendtothehotPaphlagonianpickledgarlic。Thegodgrantsgreatglorytothesausage—sellersunlesstheyprefeirtoselltheirwares。"
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Inwhatwaydoesthisconcernme？Pleaseinstructmyignorance。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Theeagle—tanneristhePaphlagonian。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Whatdothehookedclawsmean？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Itmeanstosay，thatherobsandpillagesuswithhisclaw—likehands。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Andthedragon？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Thatisquiteclear。Thedragonislongandsoalsoisthesausage；thesausagelikethedragonisadrinkerofblood。
　　Thereforetheoraclesays，thatthedragonwilltriumphovertheeagle—tanner，ifhedoesnotlethimselfbecajoledwithwords。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Theoraclesofthegodsflatterme！Faith！IdonotatallunderstandhowIcanbecapableofgoverningthepeople。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Nothingsimpler。Continueyourtrade。Mixandkneadtogetherallthestatebusinessasyoudoforyoursausages。Towinthepeople，alwayscookthemsomesavourythatpleasesthem。Besides，youpossessalltheattributesofademagogue；ascreeching，horriblevoice，aperverse，cross—grainednatureandthelanguageofthemarket—place。Inyouallisunitedwhichisneedfulforgoverning。Theoraclesareinyourfavour，evenincludingthatofDelphi。Come，takeachaplet，offeralibationtothegodofStupidityandtakecaretofightvigorously。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Whowillbemyally？fortherichfearthePaphlagonianandthepoorshudderatthesightofhim。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　YouwillhaveathousandbraveKnights，whodetesthim，onyourside；alsothehonestcitizensamongstthespectators，thosewhoaremenofbravehearts，andfinallymyselfandthegod。Fearnot，youwillnotseehisfeatures，fornonehavedaredtomakeamaskresemblinghim。Butthepublichavewitenoughtorecognizehim。
　　NICIAS（fromwithin）
　　Oh！mercy！herecomesthePaphlagonian！
　　（CLEONrushesoutofthehouse。）
　　CLEON
　　Bythetwelvegods！Woebetideyou，whohavetoolongbeenconspiringagainstDemos。WhatmeansthisChalcidiancup？NodoubtyouareprovokingtheChalcidianstorevolt。Youshallbekilledandbutchered，youbraceofrogues。
　　DEMOSTHENES（totheSAUSAGE—SELLER）
　　What！areyouforrunningaway？Come，come，standfirm，boldSausage—seller，donotbetrayus。Totherescue，oh，Knights。Nowisthetime。Simon，Panaetius，getyoutotherightwing；theyarecomingon；holdtightandreturntothecharge。Icanseethedustoftheirhorses’hoofs；theyaregallopingtoouraid。（TotheSAUSAGE—SELLER）Courage！Attackhim，puthimtoflight。
　　（TheCHORUSOFKNIGHTSentersattopspeed。）
　　LEADEROFTHECHORUS
　　Strike，strikethevillain，whohasspreadconfusionamongsttheranksoftheKnights，thispublicrobber，thisyawninggulfofplunder，thisdevouringCharybdis，thisvillain，thisvillain，thisvillain！Icannotsaythewordtoooften，forheisavillainathousandtimesaday。Come，strike，drive，hurlhimoverandcrushhimtopieces；hatehimaswehatehim：stunhimwithyourblowsandyourshouts。Andbewarelestheescapeyou；heknowsthewayEucratestookstraighttoabransackforconcealment。
　　CLEON
　　Oh！veteranHeliasts，brotherhoodofthethreeobols，whomI
　　fosteredbybawlingatrandom，helpme；Iambeingbeatentodeathbyrebels。
　　LEADEROFTHECHORUS
　　Andjustlytoo；youdevourthepublicfundsthatallshouldsharein；youtreatthetreasuryofficialslikethefruitofthefigtree，squeezingthemtofindwhicharestillgreenormoreorlessripe；and，whenyoufindasimpleandtimidone，youforcehimtocomefromtheChersonese，thenyouseizehimbythemiddle，throttlehimbytheneck，whileyoutwisthisshoulderback；hefallsandyoudevourhim。Besides，youknowverywellhowtoselectfromamongthecitizensthosewhoareasmeekaslambs，rich，withoutguileandloathersoflawsuits。
　　CLEON
　　Eh！what！Knights，areyouhelpingthem？But，ifIambeaten，itisinyourcause，forIwasgoingtoproposetoerectastatueinthecityinmemoryofyourbravery。
　　LEADEROFTHECHORUS
　　Oh！theimpostor！thedullvarlet！See！hetreatsuslikeolddotardsandcrawlsatourfeettodeceiveus；butthecunningwhereinhispowerliesshallthistimerecoilonhimself；hetripsuphimselfbyresortingtosuchartifices。
　　CLEON
　　Ohcitizens！ohpeople！seehowthesebrutesareburstingmybelly。
　　LEADEROFTHECHORUS
　　Whatshouts！butit’sthisverybawlingthatincessantlyupsetsthecity！
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Icanshouttoo—andsoloudthatyouwillfleewithfear。
　　LEADEROFTHECHORUS
　　IfyoushoutlouderthanhedoesIwillstrikeupthetriumphalhymn；ifyousurpasshiminimpudencethecakeisours。
　　CLEON
　　Idenouncethisfellow；hehashadtastystewsexportedfromAthensfortheSpartanfleet。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndIdenouncehim；herunsintothePrytaneumwithanemptybellyandcomesoutwithitfull。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　AndbyZeus！hecarriesoffbread，meat，andfish，whichisforbidden。Pericleshimselfneverhadthisright。
　　（Ascreamingmatchnowensues，eachlinemoreraucousthanthelast。Therapidityofthedialoguelikewiseincreases。）
　　CLEON
　　Youaretravellingtherightroadtogetkilled。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　I’llbawlthreetimesasloudasyou。
　　CLEON
　　Iwilldeafenyouwithmyyells。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndIyouwithmybellowing。
　　CLEON
　　Ishallcalumniateyou，ifyoubecomeaStrategus。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Dog，Iwilllayyourbackopenwiththelash。
　　CLEON
　　Iwillmakeyoudropyourarrogance，SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Iwillbaffleyourmachinations。
　　CLEON
　　Daretolookmeintheface！
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Itoowasbroughtupinthemarket—place。
　　CLEON
　　Iwillcutyoutoshredsifyouwhisperaword。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Ifyouopenyourmouth，I’llshutitwithshit。
　　CLEON
　　IadmitI’mathief；that’smorethanyoudo。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　ByourHermesofthemarket—place，ifcaughtintheact，why，I
　　perjuremyselfbeforethosewhosawme。
　　CLEON
　　Thesearemyownspecialtricks。IwilldenounceyoutothePrytanesastheownerofsacredtripe，thathasnotpaidtithe。
　　CHORUS（singing）
　　Oh！youscoundrel！youimpudentbawler！everythingisfilledwithyourdaring，allAttica，theAssembly，theTreasury，thedecrees，thetribunals。Asafurioustorrentyouhaveoverthrownourcity；youroutcrieshavedeafenedAthensand，posteduponahighrock，youhavelaininwaitforthetributemoneysasthefishermandoesforthetunny—fish。
　　CLEON（somewhatlessloudly）
　　Iknowyourtricks；it’sanoldplotresoled。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Ifyouknownaughtofsoling，Iunderstandnothingofsausages；
　　you，whocutbadleatherontheslanttomakeitlookstoutanddeceivethecountryyokels。Theyhadnotwornitadaybeforeithadstretchedsometwospans。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　That’stheverytrickheplayedonme；bothmyneighboursandmyfriendslaughedheartilyatme，andbeforeIreachedPergasaeIwasswimminginmyshoes。
　　CHORUS（singing）
　　Haveyounotalwaysshownthatblatantimpudence，whichisthesolestrengthofourorators？Youpushitsofar，thatyou，theheadoftheState，daretomilkthepursesoftheopulentaliensand，atsightofyou，thesonofHippodamusmeltsintotears。Buthereisanothermanwhogivesmepleasure，forheisamuchgreaterrascalthanyou；hewilloverthrowyou；’tiseasytosee，thathewillbeatyouinroguery，inbrazennessandincleverturns。Come，you，whohavebeenbroughtupamongtheclasswhichto—daygivesusallourgreatmen，showusthataliberaleducationismeretomfoolery。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Justhearwhatsortoffellowthatfinecitizenis。
　　CLEON
　　Willyounotletmespeak？
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Assuredlynot，forItooamanawfulrascal。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Ifhedoesnotgiveinatthat，tellhimyourparentswereawfulrascalstoo。
　　CLEON
　　Oncemore，willyouletmespeak？
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　No，byZeus！
　　CLEON
　　Yes，byZeus，youshall！
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　No，byPosidon！Wewillfightfirsttoseewhoshallspeakfirst。
　　CLEON
　　Iwilldiesooner。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Iwillnotletyou……
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Lethim，inthenameofthegods，lethimdie。
　　CLEON
　　Whatmakesyousoboldastodaretospeaktomyface？
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　BecauseIknowbothhowtospeakandhowtocook。
　　CLEON
　　Hah！thefinespeaker！Truly，ifsomebusinessmatterfellyourway，youwouldknowthoroughlywellhowtoattackit，tocarveitupalive！ShallItellyouwhathashappenedtoyou？Likesomanyothers，youhavegainedsomepettylawsuitagainstsomealien。Didyoudrinkenoughwatertoinspireyou？Didyoumutteroverthethingsufficientlythroughthenight，spoutitalongthestreet，reciteittoallyoumet？Haveyouboredyourfriendsenoughwithit？Andforthisyoudeemyourselfanorator。Youpoorfool！
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Andwhatdoyoudrinkyourselfthen，tobeableallalonebyyourselftodumbfoundandstupefythecitysowithyourclamour？
　　CLEON
　　Canyoumatchmewitharival？Me？WhenIhavedevouredagoodhottunny—fishanddrunkontopofitagreatjarofunmixedwine。Isay"toHellwiththegeneralsofPylos！"
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndI，whenIhaveboltedthetripeofanoxtogetherwithasow’sbellyandswallowedthebrothaswell，Iamfit，thoughslobberingwithgrease，tobellowlouderthanalloratorsandtoterrifyNicias。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Iadmireyourlanguagesomuch；theonlythingIdonotapproveisthatyouswallowallthebrothyourself。
　　CLEON
　　Eventhoughyougorgedyourselfonsea—dogs，youwouldnotbeattheMilesians。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Givemeabullock’sbreasttodevour，andIamamantotrafficinmines。
　　CLEON
　　IwillrushintotheSenateandsetthemallbytheears。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndIwillpulloutyourarsetostufflikeasausage。
　　CLEON
　　Asforme，Iwillseizeyoubytherumpandhurlyouheadforemostthroughthedoor。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　ByPosidon，onlyafteryouhavethrownmetherefirst。
　　CLEON
　　（Beginninganothercrescendoofcompetitivescreeching）
　　Bewareofthecarcan！
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Idenounceyouforcowardice。
　　CLEON
　　Iwilltanyourhide。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Iwillflayyouandmakeathief’spouchwiththeskin。
　　CLEON
　　Iwillpegyououtontheground。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Iwillsliceyouintomince—meat。
　　CLEON
　　Iwilltearoutyoureyelashes。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Iwillslityourgullet。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Wewillsethismouthopenwithawoodenstickasthecooksdowithpigs；wewilltearouthistongue，and，lookingdownhisgapingthroat，willseewhetherhisinsidehasanypimples。
　　CHORUS（singing）
　　ThusthenatAthenswehavesomethingmorefierythanfire，moreimpudentthanimpudenceitself！’Tisagravematter；come，wewillpushandjostlehimwithoutmercy。There，yougriphimtightlyunderthearms；ifhegiveswayattheonset，youwillfindhimnothingbutacraven；Iknowmyman。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Thathehasbeenallhislifeandhehasonlymadehimselfanamebyreapinganother’sharvest；andnowhehastieduptheearshegatheredoverthere，heletsthemdryandseekstosellthem。
　　CLEON
　　IdonotfearyouaslongasthereisaSenateandapeoplewhichstandslikeafool，gapingintheair。
　　CHORUS（singing）
　　Whatunparalleledimpudence！’Tiseverthesamebrazenfront。IfI
　　don’thateyou，why，I’mreadytotaketheplaceoftheoneblanketCratinuswets；I’lloffertoplayatragedybyMorsimus。Oh！youcheat！whoturnallintomoney，whoflutterfromoneextortiontoanother；mayyoudisgorgeasquicklyasyouhavecrammedyourself！
　　ThenonlywouldIsing，"Letusdrink，letusdrinktothishappyevent！"TheneventhesonofUlius，theoldwheat—fairy，wouldemptyhiscupwithtransportsofjoy，crying，"Io，Paean！Io，Bacchus！"
　　CLEON
　　ByPosidon！You！wouldyoubeatmeinimpudence！Ifyousucceed，mayInolongerhavemyshareofthevictimsofferedtoZeusonthecityaltar。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndI，Iswearbytheblowsthathavesooftraineduponmyshoulderssinceinfancy，andbytheknivesthathavecutme，thatI
　　willshowmoreeffronterythanyou；assureasIhaveroundedthisfinestomachbyfeedingonthepiecesofbreadthathadcleansedotherfolk’sgreasyfingers。
　　CLEON
　　Onpiecesofbread，likeadog！Ah！wretch！youhavethenatureofadogandyoudaretofightadog—headedape？
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Ihavemanyanothertrickinmysack，memoriesofmychildhood’sdays。Iusedtolingeraroundthecooksandsaytothem，"Look，friends，don’tyouseeaswallow？It’stheheraldofspringtime。"
　　Andwhiletheystood，theirnosesintheair，Imadeoffwithapieceofmeat。
　　CHORUS
　　Oh！mostcleverman！Howwellthoughtout！Youdidastheeatersofartichokes，yougatheredthembeforethereturnoftheswallows。"
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Theycouldmakenothingofit；or，iftheysuspectedatrick，I
　　hidthemeatinmycrotchanddeniedthethingbyallthegods—sothatanorator，seeingmeatthegame，cried，"Thischildwillgeton；hehasthemettlethatmakesastatesman。"
　　LEADEROFTHECHORUS
　　Hearguedrightly；tosteal，perjureyourselfandmakeyourarsereceptivearethreeessentialsforclimbinghigh。
　　CLEON
　　Iwillstopyourinsolence，orrathertheinsolenceofbothofyou。Iwillthrowmyselfuponyoulikeaterriblehurricaneravagingbothlandandseaatthewillofitsfury。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　ThenIwillgatherupmysausagesandentrustmyselftothekindlywavesoffortunesoastomakeyouallthemoreenraged。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　AndIwillwatchinthebilgesincasetheboatshouldmakewater。
　　CLEON
　　No，byDemeter！Iswear，itwillnotbewithimpunitythatyouhavethievedsomanytalentsfromtheAthenians。
　　DEMOSTHENES（totheSAUSAGE—SELLER）
　　Oh！oh！reefyoursailabit！HereisaNortheasterblowingcalumniously。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　IknowthatyougottentalentsoutofPotidaea。
　　CLEON
　　Wait！Iwillgiveyouone；butkeepitdark！
　　DEMOSTHENES（aside）
　　Hah！thatwillpleasehimmightily；（totheSAUSAGE—SELLER）nowyoucantravelunderfullsail。Thewindhaslostitsviolence。
　　CLEON
　　Iwillbringfoursuitsagainstyou，eachofonehundredtalents。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndItwentyagainstyouforshirkingdutyandmorethanathousandforrobbery。
　　CLEON
　　Imaintainthatyourparentswereguiltyofsacrilegeagainstthegoddess。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndI，thatoneofyourgrandfatherswasasatellite……
　　CLEON
　　Towhom？Explain！
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　ToByrsina，themotherofHippias。
　　CLEON
　　Youareanimpostor。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Andyouarearogue。
　　（HestrikesCLEONwithasausage。）
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Hithimhard。
　　CLEON
　　Alas！Theconspiratorsaremurderingme！
　　DEMOSTHENES（totheSAUSAGE—SELLER）
　　Hithim！Hithimwithallyourmight！Bruisehisbellyandlashhimwithyourgutsandyourtripe！Punishhimwithbothhands！
　　（CLEONsinksbeneaththeblows。）
　　CHORUS—LEADER
　　Oh！vigorousassailantandintrepidheart！Seehowyouhavetotallyroutedhiminthisduelofabuse，sothattousandtothecitizensyouseemthesaviourofthecity。HowshallIgivetonguetomyjoyandpraiseyousufficiently？
　　CLEON（recoveringhiswits）
　　Ah！byDemeter！Iwasnotignorantofthisplotandthesemachinationsthatwerebeingforgedandnailedandputtogetheragainstme。
　　DEMOSTHENES（totheSAUSAGE—SELLER）
　　Lookout，lookout！Comeoutfencehimwithsomewheelwrightslang。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　HistricksatArgosdonotescapeme。UnderpretenceofforminganalliancewiththeArgives，heishatchingaplotwiththeLacedaemoniansthere；andIknowwhythebellowsareblowingandthemetalthatisontheanvil；it’sthequestionoftheprisoners。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Welldone！Forgeon，ifhebeawheelwright。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndtherearemenatSpartawhoarehammeringtheironwithyou；
　　butneithergoldnorsilvernorprayersnoranythingelseshallimpedemydenouncingyourtrickerytotheAthenians。
　　CLEON
　　Asforme，IhastentotheSenatetorevealyourplotting，yournightlygatheringsinthecity，yourtraffickingwiththeMedesandwiththeGreatKing，andallyouareforagingforinBoeotia。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　WhatpricethenispaidforforagebyBoeotians？
　　CLEON
　　Oh！byHeracles！Iwilltanyourhide。
　　（Hedeparts。）
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Come，ifyouhavebothwitandheart，nowisthetimetoshowit，asonthedaywhenyouhidthemeatinyourcrotch，asyousay。
　　HastentotheSenate，forhewillrushtherelikeatornadotocalumniateusallandgiveventtohisfearfulbellowings。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Iamgoing，butfirstImustridmyselfofmytripeandmyknives；
　　Iwillleavethemhere。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Stay！rubyourneckwithlard；inthiswayyouwillslipbetweenthefingersofcalumny。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Spokenlikeafinishedwrestlingcoach。
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Now，boltdowntheseclovesofgarlic。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Pray，whatfor？
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　Wellprimedwithgarlic，youwillhavegreatermettleforthefight。Buthurry，makehasterapidly！
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　That’sjustwhatI’mdoing。
　　（Hedeparts。）
　　DEMOSTHENES
　　And，aboveall，biteyourfoe，rendhimtoatoms，tearoffhiscombanddonotreturnuntilyouhavedevouredhiswattles。
　　（HegoesintothehouseofDEMOS。）
　　LEADEROFTHECHORUS
　　Go！makeyourattackwithalightheart，avengemeandmayZeusguardyou！Iburntoseeyoureturnthevictorandladenwithchapletsofglory。Andyou，spectators，enlightenedcriticsofallkindofpoetry，lendaneartomyanapests。（TheChorusmovesforwardandfacestheaudience。）
　　Hadoneoftheoldauthorsaskedmetomountthisstagetorecitehisverses，hewouldnothavefoundithardtopersuademe。Butourpoetofto—dayislikewiseworthyofthisfavour；hesharesourhatred，hedarestotellthetruth，heboldlybravesbothwaterspoutsandhurricanes。Manyamongyou，hetellsus，haveexpressedwonder，thathehasnotlongsincehadapiecepresentedinhisownname，andhaveaskedthereasonwhy。Thisiswhathebidsussayinreplytoyourquestions；itisnotwithoutgroundsthathehascourtedtheshade，for，inhisopinion，nothingismoredifficultthantocultivatethecomicMuse；manycourther，butveryfewsecureherfavours。Moreover，heknowsthatyouareficklebynatureandbetrayyourpoetswhentheygrowold。WhatfatebefellMagnes，whenhishairwentwhite？Oftenenoughhadhetriumphedoverhisrivals；hehadsunginallkeys，playedthelyreandflutteredwings；heturnedintoaLydianandevenintoagnat，daubedhimselfwithgreentobecomeafrog。Allinvain！Whenyoung，youapplaudedhim；inhisoldageyouhootedandmockedhim，becausehisgeniusforrailleryhadgone。Cratinusagainwaslikeatorrentofgloryrushingacrosstheplain，up—rootingoak，planetreeandrivalsandbearingthempell—mellinhiswake。Theonlysongsatthebanquetwere，"Doro，shodwithlyingtales"and"AdeptsoftheLyricMuse，"sogreatwashisrenown。Lookathimnow！hedrivels，hislyrehasneitherstringsnorkeys，hisvoicequivers，butyouhavenopityforhim，andyoulethimwanderaboutashecan，likeConnas，histemplescircledwithawitheredchaplet；thepooroldfellowisdyingofthirst；hewho，inhonourofhisgloriouspast，shouldbeinthePrytaneumdrinkingathisease，andinsteadoftrudgingthecountryshouldbesittingamongstthefirstrowofthespectators，closetothestatueofDionysusandloadedwithperfumes。Crates，again，haveyoudonehoundinghimwithyourrageandyourhisses？
　　True，itwasbutmeagrefarethathissterileMusecouldofferyou；
　　afewingeniousfanciesformedthesoleingredients，butneverthelessheknewhowtostandfirmandtorecoverfromhisfalls。Itissuchexamplesthatfrightenourpoet；inaddition，hewouldtellhimself，thatbeforebeingapilot，hemustfirstknowhowtorow，thentokeepwatchattheprow，afterthathowtogaugethewinds，andthatonlythenwouldhebeabletocommandhisvessel。Ifthenyouapprovethiswisecautionandhisresolvethathewouldnotboreyouwithfoolishnonsense，raiseloudwavesofapplauseinhisfavourthisday，sothat，atthisLenaeanfeast，thebreathofyourfavourmayswellthesailsofhistriumphantgalleyandthepoetmaywithdrawproudofhissuccess，withheaderectandhisfacebeamingwithdelight。
　　FIRSTSEMI—CHORUS（singing）
　　Posidon，godoftheracingsteeds，Isaluteyou，youwhodelightintheirneighingandintheresoundingclatteroftheirbrass—shodhoofs，godoftheswiftgalleys，which，loadedwithmercenaries，cleavetheseaswiththeirazurebeaks，godoftheequestriancontests，inwhichyoungrivals，eagerforglory，ruinthemselvesforthesakeofdistinctionwiththeirchariotsinthearena，comeanddirectourchorus；Posidonwiththetridentofgold，you，whoreignoverthedolphins，whoareworshippedatSuniumandatGeraestusbelovedofPhormio，anddeartothewholecityabovealltheimmortals，Isaluteyou！
　　LEADEROFFIRSTSEMI—CHORUS
　　Letussingthegloryofourforefathers；evervictors，bothonlandandsea，theymeritthatAthens，renderedfamousbythese，herworthysons，shouldwritetheirdeedsuponthesacredpeplus。Assoonastheysawtheenemy，theyatoncesprangathimwithoutevercountinghisstrength。Shouldoneofthemfallintheconflicthewouldshakeoffthedust，denyhismishapandbeginthestruggleanew。
　　NotoneofthesegeneralsofoldtimewouldhaveaskedCleaenetustobefedatthecostoftheState；butourpresentmenrefusetofight，unlesstheygetthehonoursofthePrytaneumandprecedenceintheirseats。Asforus，weplaceourvalourgratuitouslyattheserviceofAthensandofhergods；ouronlyhopeisthat，shouldpeaceeverputatermteourtoils，youwillnotgrudgeusourlong，scentedhairnorourdelicatecareforourtoilet。
　　SECONDSEMI—CHORUS（singing）
　　Oh！Pallas，guardianofAthens，you，whoreignoverthemostpiouscity，themostpowerful，therichestinwarriorsandinpoets，hastentomycall，bringinginyourtrainourfaithfulallyinallourexpeditionsandcombats，Victory，whosmilesonourchorusesandfightswithusagainstourrivals。Oh！goddess！manifestyourselftooursight；thisdaymorethaneverwedeservethatyoushouldensureourtriumph。
　　LEADEROFSECONDSEMI—CHORUS
　　Wewillsinglikewisetheexploitsofoursteeds！theyareworthyofourpraises；inwhatinvasions，whatfightshaveInotseenthemhelpingus！Butespeciallyadmirablewerethey，whentheybravelyleaptuponthegalleys，takingnothingwiththembutacoarsewine，someclovesofgarlicandonions；despitethis，theyneverthelessseizedthesweepsjustlikemen，curvedtheirbacksoverthethwartsandshouted，"Hippapai！Giveway！Come，allpulltogether！Come，come！How！Samphoras！Areyounotrowing？"TheyrusheddownuponthecoastofCorinth，andtheyoungesthollowedoutbedsinthesandwiththeirhoofsorwenttofetchcoverings；insteadofluzern，theyhadnofoodbutcrabs，whichtheycaughtonthestrandandeveninthesea；sothatTheoruscausesaCorinthiancrabtosay，"’Tisacruelfate，ohPosidonneithermydeephiding—places，whetheronlandoratsea，canhelpmetoescapetheKnights。"
　　（TheSAUSAGE—SELLERreturns。）
　　LEADEROFTHECHORUS
　　Welcome，oh，dearestandbravestofmen！HowdistractedIhavebeenduringyourabsence！Buthereyouareback，safeandsound。
　　Tellusaboutthefightyouhavehad。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　TheimportantthingisthatIhavebeatentheSenate。
　　CHORUS（singing）
　　Allglorytoyou！Letusburstintoshoutsofjoy！Youspeakwell，butyourdeedsareevenbetter。Come，tellmeeverythingindetail；
　　whatalongjourneywouldInotbereadytotaketohearyourtale！
　　Come，dearfriend，speakwithfullconfidencetoyouradmirers。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Thestoryisworthhearing。Listen！FromhereIrushedstraighttotheSenate，rightinthetrackofthisman；hewasalreadylettingloosethestorm，unchainingthelightning，crushingtheKnightsbeneathhugemountainsofcalumniesheapedtogetherandhavingalltheairoftruth；hecalledyouconspiratorsandhisliescaughtrootlikeweedsineverymind；darkwerethelooksoneverysideandbrowswereknitted。WhenIsawthattheSenatelistenedtohimfavourablyandwasbeingtrickedbyhisimpostureIsaidtomyself，"Come，godsofrascalsandbraggarts，godsofallfools，andtoad—eaters，andthoutoo，ohmarket—place，whereinIwasbredfrommyearliestdays，givemeunbridledaudacity，anuntiringchatterandashamelessvoice。"
　　NosoonerhadIendedthisprayerthanapederastfartedonmyright。"Hah！agoodomen，"saidI，andprostratedmyself；thenIburstopenthedoorbyavigorouspushwithmyarse，and，openingmymouthtotheutmost，shouted，"Senators，Iwantedyoutobethefirsttohearthegoodnews；sincethewarbrokeout，Ihaveneverseenanchoviesatalowerprice！"AllfacesbrightenedatonceandIwasvotedachapletformygoodtidings；andIadded，"WithacoupleofwordsIwillrevealtoyouhowyoucanhavequantitiesofanchoviesforanobol；allyouhavetodoistoseizeonallthedishesthemerchantshave。"Withmouthsgapingwithadmiration，theyapplaudedme。However，thePaphlagonianwindedthematterand，wellknowingthesortoflanguagewhichpleasestheSenatebest，said，"Friends，Iamresolvedtoofferonehundredoxentothegoddessinrecognitionofthishappyevent。"TheSenateatonceveeredtohisside。SowhenIsawmyselfdefeatedbythisoxdung，Ioutbadethefellow，crying，"Twohundred！"AndbeyondthisImovedthatavowbemadetoDianaofathousandgoatsifthenextdayanchoviesshouldonlybeworthanobolahundred。AndtheSenatelookedtowardsmeagain。Theother，stunnedwiththeblow，grewdeliriousinhisspeech，andatlastthePrytanesandtheScythiansdraggedhimout。TheSenatorsthenstoodtalkingnoisilyabouttheanchovies。Cleon，however，beggedthemtolistentotheLacedaemonianenvoy，whohadcometomakeproposalsofpeace；butallwithoneaccordcried"Certainlyit’snotthemomenttothinkofpeacenow！Ifanchoviesaresocheap，whatneedhaveweofpeace？Letthewartakeitscourse！"
　　AndwithloudshoutstheydemandedthatthePrytanesshouldclosethesittingandthentheyleaptovertherailsinalldirections。Asforme，Islippedawaytobuyallthecorianderseedandleekstherewereonthemarketandgaveittothemgratisasseasoningfortheiranchovies。Itwasmarvellous！Theyloadedmewithpraisesandcaresses；thusIconqueredtheSenatewithanobol’sworthofleeks，andhereIam。
　　CHORUS（singing）
　　Bravo！youarethespoiltchildofFortune。Ah！ourknavehasfoundhismatchinanother，whohasfarbettertricksinhissack，athousandkindsofknaveriesandofwilywords。Butthefightbeginsafresh；takecarenottoweaken；youknowthatIhavelongbeenyourmostfaithfulally。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Ah！ah！herecomesthePaphlagonian！Onewouldsayitwasahurricanelashingtheseaandrollingthewavesbeforeitinitsfury。
　　Helooksasifhewantedtoswallowmeupalive！Yegods！whatanimpudentknave！
　　CLEON（asherushesin）
　　Tomyaid，mybelovedlies！Iamgoingtodestroyyou，ormynameislost。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Oh！howhedivertsmewithhisthreatsHisblustermakesmelaugh！
　　AndIdancethemothonforjoy，andsingatthetopofmyvoice，cuckoo！
　　CLEON
　　Ah！byDemeter！ifIdonotkillanddevouryou，mayIdie！
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Ifyoudonotdevourme？andI，ifIdonotdrinkyourbloodtothelastdrop，andthenburstwithindigestion。
　　CLEON
　　I，Iwillstrangleyou，IswearitbythefrontseatwhichPylosgainedme。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Bythefrontseat！Ah！Ah！mightIseeyoufallintothehindmostseat！
　　CLEON
　　Byheaven！Iwillputyoutothetorture。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Whatalivelywit！Come，what’sthebesttogiveyoutoeat？
　　Whatdoyouprefer？Apurse？
　　CLEON
　　Iwilltearoutyourinsideswithmynails。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndIwillcutoffyourvictualsatthePrytaneum。
　　CLEON
　　IwillhaulyoubeforeDemos，whowillmeteoutjusticetoyou。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndItoowilldragyoubeforehimandbelchforthmorecalumniesthanyou。Why，poorfool，hedoesnotbelieveyou，whereasI
　　playwithhimatwill。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　IsthenDemosyourproperty，yourcontemptiblecreature？
　　CLEON
　　It’sbecauseIknowthedishesthatpleasehim。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Andthesearelittlemouthfuls，whichyouservetohimlikeaclevernurse。Youchewthepiecesandplacesomeinsmallquantitiesinhismouth，whileyouswallowthreepartsyourself。
　　CLEON
　　Thankstomyskill，Iknowexactlyhowtoenlargeorcontractthisgullet。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Myarseisjustasclever。
　　CLEON
　　Well，myfriend，youtrickedmeattheSenate，buttakecare！
　　LetusgobeforeDemos。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　That’seasilydone；come，let’sdoitrightaway。
　　CLEON（loudly）
　　Oh，Demos！Come，Iadjureyoutohelpme，myfatherI
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER（moreloudly）
　　Come，oh，mydearlittleDemos；comeandseehowIaminsulted。
　　DEMOS（comingoutofhishousefollowedbyDEMOSTHENES）
　　Whatahubhub！TotheDevilwithyou，bawlers！Alas！myolivebranch，whichtheyhavetorndown！Ah！it’syou，Paphlagonian。Andwho，pray，hasbeenmaltreatingyou？
　　CLEON
　　Youarethecauseofthismanandtheseyoungpeoplehavingcoveredmewithblows。
　　DEMOS
　　Andwhy？
　　CLEON
　　Becauseyoulovemepassionately，Demos。
　　DEMOS（totheSAUSAGE—SELLER）
　　Andyou，whoareyou？
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Hisrival。FormanyalongyearhaveIlovedyou，haveIwishedtodoyouhonour，Iandacrowdofothermenofmeans。Butthisrascalherehaspreventedus。Youresemblethoseyoungmenwhodonotknowwheretochoosetheirlovers；yourepulsehonestfolks；toearnyourfavours，onehastobealamp—seller，acobbler，atanneroracurrier。
　　CLEON
　　Iamthebenefactorofthepeople。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Inwhatway，please？
　　CLEON
　　Inwhatway？IsupplantedtheGeneralsatPylos，IhurriedthitherandIbroughtbacktheLaconiancaptives。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndI，whilstsimplyloitering，clearedoffwithapotfromashop，whichanotherfellowhadbeenboiling。
　　CLEON
　　Demos，convenetheassemblyatoncetodecidewhichofustwolovesyoubestandmostmeritsyourfavour。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Yes，yes，provideditbenotatthePnyx。
　　DEMOS
　　Icouldnotsitelsewhere；itisatthePnyxthatyoumustappearbeforeme。
　　（HesitsdownonastoneintheOrchestra，）
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　Ah！greatgods！Iamundone！Athomethisoldfellowisthemostsensibleofmen，buttheinstantheisseatedonthosecursedstoneseats，heistherewithmouthagapeasifhewerehangingupfigsbytheirstemstodry。
　　FIRSTSEMI—CHORUS（singing）
　　Come，looseallsail。Bebold，skilfulinattackandentanglehiminargumentswhichadmitofnoreply。Itisdifficulttobeathim，forheisfullofcraftandpullshimselfoutoftheworstcorners。
　　Collectallyourforcestocomeforthfromthisfightcoveredwithglory。
　　LEADEROFTHECHORUS
　　Buttakecare！Lethimnotassumetheattack，getreadyyourgrapplesandadvancewithyourvesseltoboardhim！
　　CLEON
　　Oh！guardiangoddessofourcity！oh！AtheneifitbetruethatnexttoLysicles，CynnaandSalabacchononehavedonesomuchgoodfortheAthenianpeopleasI，suffermetocontinuetobefedatthePrytaneumwithoutworking；butifIhateyou，ifIamnotreadytofightinyourdefencealoneandagainstall，mayIperish，besawntobitsaliveandmyskincutupintothongs。
　　SAUSAGE—SELLER
　　AndI，Demos，ifitbenottrue，thatIloveandcherishyou，mayIbecookedinastew；andifthatisnotsayingenough，mayI
　　begratedonthistablewithsomecheeseandthenhashed，mayahookbepassedthroughmyballsandletmebedraggedthustotheCeramicus！