Ipleadguilty,andwillnolongerdelaythepainful
confessionIhavetomake。
Doyourememberasingularlyhandsomeyoungman,who,duringmy
abodewithmadameLagarde,fascinatedmetillmyverysensesseemed
bewilderedbymypassion。
Youknowhowhebetrayedme,andhow,
throughhim,Iwasexpelledthehouse,aswellasthetermination
ofthisfoolishadventure。
Youarenowtopassoversevenor
eightyears,andtakeyourplacewithmeinthedrawing-room,in
whichIstoodwhenIrangtosummonaservanttoconveyaletter
totheducdeVilleroi。
YoumayrememberwhatItoldyouinthe
lastchapterofthepersonwhoentered,ofhisagitationandhis
blushes,andofhisfixinghiseyeswithdeepmeaninguponmetill
hequittedtheroom-thisservantwasNoel!
HadIlistenedtothedictatesofprudence,Ishould,without
lossoftime,haveobtainedagainsthima,
whichwouldhavefreedmefromallchanceofdiscoverythrough
hismeans;butIcouldnotlistentosuchcool-blooded,though
cautious,suggestions。
Oneideaonlytookpossessionofmy
mind——theabsurddesiretoknowwhathadbecomeofNoelsincewe
separated,andbywhataccidentInowfoundhimwearingmylivery
inthecastle。
WiththisintentIavailedmyselfofthefirst
momentIwassecurefrominterruption,tosummonhimtomypresence。
Hethrewhimselfatmyfeet,imploringofmetopardonhisaudacity。
“Alas,madam!“
saidhe,“Iammoreunfortunatethanguilty。
Isaw
youwalkingsometimesince,andIcouldobtainnorestorpeace
tillIwasfortunateenoughtoobtainadmissiontoyourestablishment。
Punishmeformytemerityifyouwill;expelmefromthecastle,
havemeconfinedinaprison,Ideserveitall;but,voluntarily,
Icannotleavethishouse;andifyouwillonlypermitmystay,I
solemnlyvowyoushallseenothinginmyconductbutthezeal
ofanattachedandrespectfulservant。“
IwasweakenoughtopardonNoelandshortlyaftertoraisehim
totherankof,whichbroughthiminfinitely
toomuchaboutme。
Yes,myfriend,thewomanis,afterallattemptstoexcuseit,
blamableforbestowingheraffectionononebelowherselfinthe
scaleofsociety。
Natureherselfappearstohaveplantedinour
bosomsakindofinstinct,whichwarnsusfromit,andaprejudice
againstallthosewhosodegradethemselves。
Itisdifferent
withmen;theycanconferrankandelevationonthebelovedobject。
Awomanshouldalwayshavereasontolookuptoandfeelproud
ofthemantowhomsheconsignsherheart;thisspeciesofvanity
ismixedwiththenoblestlove,andthewomanwhocanoverlook
it,actsfrompassionofthelowest,basestkind。
Howeasyisit
toreason!
Alas!
WhyhaveInotalwaysactedaswellasIspeak。
IwasthusagainasecondtimeenthralledbyNoel,andmuchmore
so,too,thanIwillnowtellyou。
MyfaithfulHenriette,whose
devotedattachmentformekepthereverwatchfulofmysafetyand
reputation,wasthunderstruckatperceivingwhatIvainlystrove
toconcealfromher;and,asshehassincetoldme,waslongin
decidingwhethertospeaktomeoftheaffair,whenanunexpected
incidentarose,whichdeterminedher,ateveryriskofmy
displeasure,touseherendeavorstoputanendtosodisgraceful
aconnexion,whichmustinfalliblyhaveendedinmydisgrace。
Onenight,orrathermidnight,allwasatrestinthecastle,and
IwassleepingpeacefullyinthearmsofNoel,whenallatonce
Iwasawakenedbythesuddenopeningofanouterdoor,which
announcedtometheapproachoftheking,whohadmerelyone
moredoortoopenerehewouldbeinmyapartment。
Noel,terrified,
leapedquicklyoutofbed,andrantoseekrefugeinasmall
chamberadjoiningwhereHenrietteslept。
Happilyshewasyet
awake;and,bythelightofanight-lamporrecognized
Noel,who,withclaspedhands,conjuredhertotakepityuponhim。
Henriettesawthedanger,andputtingoutherhand,seizedhim,
anddrawinghimrapidlytowardsher,madehimliedownbeside
her。
Noel,struckwithhergoodness,waspreparingtoofferher
thesamemarksofhisgratitudehehadshownmeofhisrespect;
butrepulsinghim,shesaidinalowvoice,“Wretch,thinknotit
isonyouraccountIthusexposemyreputation;’tistosavethat
ofmybelovedmistress;eitherconductyourselfwithsilentrespect
oryouarelost。“
AtthisthreatNoel’scouragemeltedaway
andhelaystillasafrightenedchild。
“Listen,“saidHenriette,
“ifyoudonotquitthisplaceto-morrowatbreakofday,without
seekingtoseemadameagain,Iwilldenounceyoutotheking,
whowillinflictuponyouthemostdreadfulpunishment。“
WhilstthesethingswerepassinginthechamberofHenriette,I
didnotfeelperfectlyateaseonmyside,andmanywerethewise
reflectionsImadeuponmyfolly,aswellasthepromisesIgave
neveragaintoexposemyselftosuchimminentdanger。
Nordidmy
terrorsabatetillafterthekinghadquittedme。
Atthesoundof
mybellHenriettehastenedtomybed-side。
“MygoodHenriette,“saidItoher,tremblingfromheadtofoot,
“whatanightofanxietyhaveIpassed,Imustindeedconfess——“
“Fearnot,mybelovedmistress,“repliedshe;“Iwillwatchover
yoursafety,andtrusttobeenabledfullytoprovideforit。“
Idurstnotthenaskforanyfurtherexplanationofherwords,for
suchwastheascendancyhergoodandsteadyconducthadgivenher
overme,thatshewouldcertainlyhaveblamedmeformyglaring
imprudence。
Ipressedherhandinmutethankfulness;she
comprehendedmysilenceandleftmetomyself。
Attheendofsomedays,seeingnothingofNoel,Iventuredto
questionherastohisfate:shethenrelatedtomeallyouhave
beentold,andadded,thatthedayfollowingthisshamefuland
unfortunatenightshehadlostnotimeinapprizingthecomte
Jeanofallthathadoccurred,whohadquicklydespatchedNoel
outofthekingdom,furnishinghimwithapurseoftenthousand
livrestodefrayhistravellingexpenses。
Suchwasthefortunate
terminationofthisdisgracefulaffair;andnow,havingcompleted
mypainfulconfession,Iwillchangethesubjecttoothersdoubtless
morecalculatedtointerestyouthantherecitalofsuchlapses。
MadameduBarrysucceedsinalienatingLouisXVfromtheduede
Choiseul——LetterfrommadamedeGrammont——LouisXV——Thechancellor
andthecountess——LouisXVandtheabbedelaVille——Themarechale
deMirepoixandmadameduBarry
Mattersnowassumedanairofimportance。
Mystrugglewiththe
desChoiseulshadbecomeadeadlywar,whichcouldonlybe
terminatedeitherbyhisdownfallormydismissalfromcourt;
thislattermeasurewasnotveryprobable;anoldmanisnot
easilydetachedfromawomanwhomheloves,andeachdayonly
addedtomyascendancyoverthemindoftheking。
Itistrue,
thatthesameforceofhabitwhichenchainedLouisXVtome
boundhimlikewisetoM。deChoiseul。
Theideaofchangeterrifiedhim;
andsogreatwashisdreadoffreshfaces,thathewouldhave
preferreddyingwithhisoldminister,tocreatingayoungerone
whomightwitnesshisend。
Happilythedukehimselfbroughton
thecrisisofhisfate;hispowerwascrampedonallsides,yet,
resolvednottolayitdowntillthelastextremity,hesought
tostayhisfailingcreditwiththerisinginfluenceofthedauphiness。
Hisenemieswerenotslowinpointingouttothekinghisminister’s
frequentvisitsandgreatassiduitiestoaforeignprincess,and
enlargeduponthefataleffectsthisnewalliancemightproduce
tothemonarchy。
Meanwhilethechancellor,threatenedbytheparliaments,saw
onlyonewayofavertingthestormwhichwasabouttoburston
hishead。
Thiswastointroduceintothecabinetpersonsentirely
devotedtohimself;buttoaccomplishhispurpose,itwasnecessary
toexcludetheducdeChoiseulandhisparty。
M。deMaupeoucame
tomeinDecember,andafterhavinggentlyscoldedmeforwhat
hetermedmycarelessness,heshowedmealetterfromtheduchesse
deGrammont,which,hesaid,wouldwonderfullyaidourplans。
Thisletterwaswrittentooneofthepresidentsoftheparliament
ofToulous,M。de。
Icannotgiveyouhisname;for,although
Ihavepreservedtheoriginaloftheletter,Ihavemislaidthe
envelopeonwhichtheaddresswaswritten。
Iheregiveyoua
copyofthiscuriousandimportantproduction:——
“MONSIEURLEPRESIDENT,——Ipromisedtogive
youtheexactdetailsofallthatpassedinthisgay
metropolis,and’tiswithmuchpleasureIsitdown
tofulfillmyengagement。
Thingsgoonmuch
asusual,or,perhaps,Ishouldbespeakingmore
correctly,wereItosaytheyarerapidly
progressingfrombadtoworse。
Wehave
nolongerakinginFrance;allpowerislodged
inthehandsofonesprungfromthemostinfamous
origin;who,inconjunctionwithothersas
intriguingasherself,seeksonlytoruinthe
kingdom,andtodegradeitintheeyesof
othernations。
“Thenoblefirmnessofsovereigncourtsis
odioustopeopleofthisclass;thusyoumay
imaginethedetestationinwhichtheyregard
thecandidandloyalconductoftheduke。