Isuppose
itwas,forIdidnothearitsoastounderstandit,whichwas
thegentlewomanthatsenthim;forthemessengersaid,’There
sheis,sir’;atwhichhecomesdirectlyuptome,kissesme,
tookmeinhisarms,andembracedmewithsomuchpassion
thathecouldnotspeak,butIcouldfeelhisbreastheaveand
throblikeachild,thatcries,butsobs,andcannotcryitout。
Icanneitherexpressnordescribethejoythattouchedmyvery
soulwhenIfound,foritwaseasytodiscoverthatpart,that
hecamenotasastranger,butasasontoamother,andindeed
asasonwhohadneverbeforeknownwhatamotherofhis
ownwas;inshort,wecriedoveroneanotheraconsiderable
while,whenatlasthebrokeoutfirst。
’Mydearmother,’says
he,’areyoustillalive?
Ineverexpectedtohaveseenyour
face。’
Asforme,Icouldsaynothingagreatwhile。
Afterwehadbothrecoveredourselvesalittle,andwereable
totalk,hetoldmehowthingsstood。AstowhatIhadwritten
tohisfather,hetoldmehehadnotshowedmylettertohis
father,ortoldhimanythingaboutit;thatwhathisgrandmother
leftmewasinhishands,andthathewoulddomejusticeto
myfullsatisfaction;thatastohisfather,hewasoldandinfirm
bothinbodyandmind;thathewasveryfretfulandpassionate,
almostblind,andcapableofnothing;andhequestioned
whetherhewouldknowhowtoactinanaffairwhichwasof
soniceanatureasthis;andthatthereforehehadcomehimself,
aswelltosatisfyhimselfinseeingme,whichhecouldnot
restrainhimselffrom,asalsotoputitintomypowertomake
ajudgment,afterIhadseenhowthingswere,whetherIwould
discovermyselftohisfatherorno。
Thiswasreallysoprudentlyandwiselymanaged,thatIfound
mysonwasamanofsense,andneedednodirectionfromme。
ItoldhimIdidnotwonderthathisfatherwasashehad
describedhim,forthathisheadwasalittletouchedbeforeI
wentaway;andprincipallyhisdisturbancewasbecauseI
couldnotbepersuadedtoconcealourrelationandtolivewith
himasmyhusband,afterIknewthathewasmybrother;that
asheknewbetterthanIwhathisfather’spresentcondition
was,Ishouldreadilyjoinwithhiminsuchmeasureashe
woulddirect;thatIwasindifferentastoseeinghisfather,
sinceIhadseenhimfirst,andhecouldnothavetoldmebetter
newsthantotellmethatwhathisgrandmotherhadleftme
wasentrustedinhishands,who,Idoubtednot,nowheknew
whoIwas,would,ashesaid,domejustice。
Iinquiredthen
howlongmymotherhadbeendead,andwhereshedied,and
toldsomanyparticularsofthefamily,thatIlefthimnoroom
todoubtthetruthofmybeingreallyandtrulyhismother。
MysontheninquiredwhereIwas,andhowIhaddisposed
myself。
ItoldhimIwasontheMarylandsideofthebay,at
theplantationofaparticularfriendwhocamefromEngland
inthesameshipwithme;thatasforthatsideofthebaywhere
hewas,Ihadnohabitation。
HetoldmeIshouldgohome
withhim,andlivewithhim,ifIpleased,aslongasIlived;
thatastohisfather,heknewnobody,andwouldneverso
muchasguessatme。
Iconsideredofthatalittle,andtold
him,thatthoughitwasreallynoconcerntometoliveata
distancefromhim,yetIcouldnotsayitwouldbethemost
comfortablethingintheworldtometoliveinthehousewith
him,andtohavethatunhappyobjectalwaysbeforeme,which
hadbeensuchablowtomypeacebefore;thatthoughIshould
begladtohavehiscompanymyson,ortobeasnearhimas
possiblewhileIstayed,yetIcouldnotthinkofbeinginthe
housewhereIshouldbealsounderconstantrestraintforfear
ofbetrayingmyselfinmydiscourse,norshouldIbeableto
refrainsomeexpressionsinmyconversingwithhimasmy
son,thatmightdiscoverthewholeaffair,whichwouldbyno
meansbeconvenient。
HeacknowledgedthatIwasrightinallthis。
’Butthen,dear
mother,’sayshe,’youshallbeasnearmeasyoucan。’
Sohe
tookmewithhimonhorsebacktoaplantationnexttohisown,
andwhereIwasaswellentertainedasIcouldhavebeeninhis
own。
Havingleftmetherehewentawayhome,tellingmewe
wouldtalkofthemainbusinessthenextday;andhavingfirst
calledmehisaunt,andgivenachargetothepeople,whoit
seemswerehistenants,totreatmewithallpossiblerespect。
Abouttwohoursafterhewasgone,hesentmeamaid-servant
andaNegroboytowaitonme,andprovisionsreadydressed
formysupper;andthusIwasasifIhadbeeninanewworld,
andbegansecretlynowtowishthatIhadnotbroughtmy
LancashirehusbandfromEnglandatall。
However,thatwishwasnotheartyneither,forIlivedmy
Lancashirehusbandentirely,asindeedIhadeverdonefrom
thebeginning;andhemeritedfrommeasmuchasitwas
possibleforamantodo;butthatbytheway。
Thenextmorningmysoncametovisitmeagainalmostas
soonasIwasup。
Afteralittlediscourse,hefirstofallpulled
outadeerskinbag,andgaveitme,withfive-and-fiftySpanish
pistolesinit,andtoldmethatwastosupplymyexpensesfrom
England,forthoughitwasnothisbusinesstoinquire,yethe
oughttothinkIdidnotbringagreatdealofmoneyoutwith
me,itnotbeingusualtobringmuchmoneyintothatcountry。
Thenhepulledouthisgrandmother’swill,andreaditoverto
me,wherebyitappearedthatshehadleftasmallplantation,
ashecalledit,onYorkRiver,thatis,wheremymotherlived,
tome,withthestockofservantsandcattleuponit,andgiven
itintrusttothissonofmineformyuse,wheneverheshould
hearofmybeingalive,andtomyheirs,ifIhadanychildren,
andindefaultofheirs,towhomsoeverIshouldbywilldispose
ofit;butgavetheincomeofit,tillIshouldbeheardof,or
found,tomysaidson;andifIshouldnotbeliving,thenitwas
tohim,andhisheirs。
Thisplantation,thoughremotefromhim,hesaidhedidnot
letout,butmanageditbyahead-clerksteward,ashedid
anotherthatwashisfather’s,thatlayhardbyit,andwentover
himselfthreeorfourtimesayeartolookafterit。
Iaskedhim
whathethoughttheplantationmightbeworth。
Hesaid,ifI
wouldletitout,hewouldgivemeabout60ayearforit;but
ifIwouldliveonit,thenitwouldbeworthmuchmore,and,
hebelieved,wouldbringmeinabout#150ayear。
Butseeing
Iwaslikelyeithertosettleontheothersideofthebay,or
mightperhapshaveamindtogobacktoEnglandagain,ifI
wouldlethimbemystewardhewouldmanageitforme,as
hehaddoneforhimself,andthathebelievedheshouldbe
abletosendmeasmuchtobaccotoEnglandfromitaswould
yieldmeabout#100ayear,sometimesmore。
Thiswasallstrangenewstome,andthingsIhadnotbeen
usedto;andreallymyheartbegantolookupmoreseriously
thanIthinkiteverdidbefore,andtolookwithgreatthankfulness
tothehandofProvidence,whichhaddonesuchwondersfor
me,whohadbeenmyselfthegreatestwonderofwickedness
perhapsthathadbeensufferedtoliveintheworld。
AndImust
againobserve,thatnotonthisoccasiononly,butevenonall
otheroccasionsofthankfulness,mypastwickedandabominable
lifeneverlookedsomonstroustome,andIneversocompletely
abhorredit,andreproachedmyselfwithit,aswhenIhada
senseuponmeofProvidencedoinggoodtome,whileIhad
beenmakingthosevilereturnsonmypart。
ButIleavethereadertoimprovethesethoughts,asnodoubt
theywillseecause,andIgoontothefact。
Myson’stender
carriageandkindoffersfetchedtearsfromme,almostallthe
whilehetalkedwithme。
Indeed,Icouldscarcediscourse
withhimbutintheintervalsofmypassion;however,atlength
Ibegan,andexpressingmyselfwithwonderatmybeingso
happytohavethetrustofwhatIhadleft,putintothehands
ofmyownchild,Itoldhim,thatastotheinheritanceofit,I
hadnochildbuthimintheworld,andwasnowpasthaving
anyifIshouldmarry,andthereforewoulddesirehimtoget
awritingdrawn,whichIwasreadytoexecute,bywhichI
would,afterme,giveitwhollytohimandtohisheirs。
And
inthemeantime,smiling,Iaskedhimwhatmadehimcontinue
abachelorsolong。
Hisanswerwaskindandready,that
Virginiadidnotyieldanygreatplentyofwives,andthatsince
ItalkedofgoingbacktoEngland,Ishouldsendhimawife
fromLondon。
Thiswasthesubstanceofourfirstday’sconversation,the
pleasantestdaythateverpassedovermyheadinmylife,and
whichgavemethetruestsatisfaction。
Hecameeveryday
afterthis,andspentgreatpartofhistimewithme,andcarried
meabouttoseveralofhisfriends’houses,whereIwas
entertainedwithgreatrespect。
AlsoIdinesseveraltimesat
hisownhouse,whenhetookcarealwaystoseehishalf-dead
fathersooutofthewaythatIneversawhim,orheme。
I
madehimonepresent,anditwasallIhadofvalue,andthat
wasoneofthegoldwatches,ofwhichImentionedabove,
thatIhadtwoinmychest,andthisIhappenedtohavewith
me,andIgaveithimathisthirdvisit。
ItoldhimIhadnothing
ofanyvaluetobestowbutthat,andIdesiredhewouldnow
andthenkissitformysake。
IdidnotindeedtellhimthatI
hadstoleitfromagentlewoman’sside,atameeting-housein
London。
That’sbytheway。