Theservingmanlookedatmeaskance,rememberinghisorders,stillheusheredusintothejusticeroomwheretheSquiresatdrinkingale。
’Goodmorrowtoyou,neighbour,’saidtheSquire;’youarewelcomehere,butyoubringonewithyouwhoisnotwelcome,thoughhebeyourson。’
’Ibringhimforthelasttime,friendBozard。
Listentohisrequest,thengrantitorrefuseitasyouwill;butifyourefuseit,itwillnotbinduscloser。
Theladridesto-nighttotakeshipforSpaintoseekthatmanwhomurderedhismother。
Hegoesofhisownfreewillbecauseafterthedoingofthedeeditwashewhounwittinglysufferedthemurderertoescape,anditiswellthatheshouldgo。’
’Heisayounghoundtorunsuchaquarrytoearth,andinastrangecountry,’saidtheSquire。
’StillIlikehisspiritandwishhimwell。
Whatwouldheofme?’
’Leavetobidfarewelltoyourdaughter。
Iknowthathissuitdoesnotpleaseyouandcannotwonderatit,andformyownpartIthinkittooearlyforhimtosethisfancyinthewayofmarriage。
Butifhewouldseethemaiditcandonoharm,forsuchharmasthereishasbeendonealready。
Nowforyouranswer。’
SquireBozardthoughtawhile,thensaid:
’Theladisabraveladthoughheshallbenoson-in-lawofmine。
Heisgoingfar,andmayhapwillreturnnomore,andIdonotwishthatheshouldthinkunkindlyofmewhenIamdead。
Gowithout,ThomasWingfield,andstandunderyonderbeech——Lilyshalljoinyouthereandyoumayspeakwithherforthehalfofanhour——nomore。
Seetoitthatyoukeepwithinsightofthewindow。
Nay,nothanks;gobeforeIchangemymind。’
SoIwentandwaitedunderthebeechwithabeatingheart,andpresentlyLilyglideduptome,amorewelcomesighttomyeyesthananyangeloutofheaven。
And,indeed,Idoubtifanangelcouldhavebeenmorefairthanshe,ormoregoodandgentle。
’Oh!Thomas,’shewhispered,whenIhadgreetedher,’isthistruethatyousailoverseatoseektheSpaniard?’
’IsailtoseektheSpaniard,andtofindhimandtokillhimwhenheisfound。
Itwastocometoyou,Lily,thatIlethimgo,nowI
mustletyougotocometohim。
Nay,donotweep,Ihavesworntodoit,andwereItobreakmyoathIshouldbedishonoured。’
’AndbecauseofthisoathofyoursImustbewidowed,Thomas,beforeIamawife?
YougoandIshallneverseeyoumore。’
’Whocansay,mysweet?
Myfatherwentoverseasandcamebacksafe,havingpassedthroughmanyperils。’
’Yes,hecamebackand——notalone。
Youareyoung,Thomas,andinfarcountriesthereareladiesgreatandfair,andhowshallIholdmyowninyourheartagainstthem,Ibeingsofaraway?’
’Isweartoyou,Lily——’
’Nay,Thomas,swearnooathslestyoushouldaddtoyoursinsbybreakingthem。
Yet,love,forgetmenot,whoshallforgetyounever。
Perhaps——oh!itwringsmyhearttosayit——thisisourlastmeetingontheearth。
Ifso,thenwemusthopetomeetinheaven。
Attheleastbesureofthis,whileIliveIwillbetruetoyou,andfatherornofather,IwilldiebeforeIbreakmytroth。
Iamyoungtospeaksolargely,butitshallbeasIsay。
Oh!thispartingismorecruelthandeath。
Wouldthatwewereasleepandforgottenamongmen。
Yetitisbestthatyoushouldgo,forifyoustayedwhatcouldwebetoeachotherwhilemyfatherlives,andmayhelivelong!’
’Sleepandforgetfulnesswillcomesoonenough,Lily;nonemustawaitthemforverylong。
Meanwhilewehaveourlivestolive。
Letuspraythatwemaylivethemtoeachother。
Igotoseekfortuneaswellasfoes,andIwillwinitforyoursakethatwemaymarry。’
Sheshookherheadsadly。
’Itweretoomuchhappiness,Thomas。
Menandwomenmayseldomwedtheirtrueloves,oriftheydo,itisbuttolosethem。
Attheleastwelove,andletusbethankfulthatwehavelearnedwhatlovecanbe,forhavinglovedhere,perchanceattheworstwemayloveotherwherewhentherearenonetosayusnay。’
Thenwetalkedonawhile,babblingbrokenwordsofloveandhopeandsorrow,asyoungfolkssoplacedarewonttodo,tillatlengthLilylookedupwithasadsweetsmileandsaid:
’Itistimetogo,sweetheart。
Myfatherbeckonsmefromthelattice。
Allisfinished。’
’Letusgothen,’Iansweredhuskily,anddrewherbehindthetrunkoftheoldbeech。
AndthereIcaughtherinmyarmsandkissedheragainandyetagain,norwassheashamedtokissmeback。
AfterthisIrememberlittleofwhathappened,exceptthataswerodeawayIsawherbelovedface,wanandwistful,watchingmedepartingoutofherlife。
Fortwentyyearsthatsadandbeautifulfacehauntedme,andithauntsmeyetathwartlifeanddeath。
OtherwomenhavelovedmeandIhaveknownotherpartings,someofthemmoreterrible,butthememoryofthiswomanasshewasthen,andofherfarewelllook,overrunsthemall。
WheneverIgazedownthepastIseethispictureframedinitandIknowthatitisonewhichcannotfade。
Arethereanysorrowslikethesesorrowsofouryouth?
Cananybitternessequalthebitternessofsuchgood-byes?
IknowbutoneofwhichIwasfatedtotasteinafteryears,andthatshallbetoldofinitsplace。
itisacommonjesttomockatearlylove,butifitbereal,ifitbesomethingmorethanthemerearisingofthepassions,earlyloveislatelovealso;itisloveforever,thebestandworsteventwhichcanbefallamanorwoman。
Isayitwhoamoldandwhohavedonewitheverything,anditistrue。
OnethingIhaveforgotten。
Aswekissedandclunginourdespairbehindtheboleofthegreatbeech,Lilydrewaringfromherfingerandpresseditintomyhandsaying,’Lookonthiseachmorningwhenyouwake,andthinkofme。
Ithadbeenhermother’s,andto-dayitstillissetuponmywitheredhand,gleaminginthewintersunlightasItracethesewords。
Throughthelongyearsofwildadventure,throughallthetimeofafterpeace,inloveandwar,intheshineofthecampfire,intheglareofthesacrificialflame,inthelightoflonelystarsilluminingthelonelywilderness,thatringhasshoneuponmyhand,remindingmealwaysofherwhogaveit,andonthishanditshallgodownintothegrave。
Itisaplaincircletofthickgold,somewhatwornnow,aposy-ring,andonitsinnersurfaceiscutthisquaintcouplet:
Hearttoheart,Thoughfarapart。
Afittingmottoforusindeed,andonethathasitsmeaningtothishour。
ThatsamedayofourfarewellIrodewithmyfathertoYarmouth。
MybrotherGeoffreydidnotcomewithus,butwepartedwithkindlywords,andofthisIamglad,forweneversaweachotheragain。
NomorewassaidbetweenusastoLilyBozardandourwooingofher,thoughIknewwellenoughthatsosoonasmybackwasturnedhewouldtrytotakemyplaceatherside,asindeedhappened。
I
forgiveittohim;intruthIcannotblamehimmuch,forwhatmanistherethatwouldnothavedesiredtowedLilywhoknewher?
Onceweweredearfriends,GeoffreyandI,butwhenweripenedtowardsmanhood,ourloveofLilycamebetweenus,andwegrewmoreandmoreapart。
Itisacommoncaseenough。
Well,asitchancedhefailed,sowhyshouldIthinkunkindlyofhim?
Letmeratherremembertheaffectionofourchildhoodandforgettherest。
Godresthissoul。
Mary,mysister,whoafterLilyBozardwasnowthefairestmaideninthecountryside,weptmuchatmygoing。
Therewasbutayearbetweenus,andwelovedeachotherdearly,fornosuchshadowofjealousyhadfallenonouraffection。
IcomfortedheraswellasI
wasable,andtellingherallthathadpassedbetweenmeandLily,IprayedhertostandmyfriendandLily’s,shoulditeverbeinherpowertodoso。
ThisMarypromisedtodoreadilyenough,andthoughshedidnotgivethereason,Icouldseethatshethoughtitpossiblethatshemightbeabletohelpus。
AsIhavesaid,Lilyhadabrother,ayoungmanofsomepromise,whoatthistimewasawayatcollege,andheandmysisterMaryhadastrongfancyforeachother,thatmightormightnotripenintosomethingcloser。
Sowekissedandbadefarewellwithtears。
AndafterthatmyfatherandIrodeaway。
ButwhenwehadpasseddownPirnhowStreet,andmountedthelittlehillbeyondWaingfordMillstotheleftofBungaytown,Ihaltedmyhorse,andlookedbackuponthepleasantvalleyoftheWaveneywhereIwasborn,andmyheartgrewfulltobursting。
HadIknownallthatmustbefallme,beforemyeyesbeheldthatsceneagain,Ithinkindeedthatitwouldhaveburst。
ButGod,whoinhiswisdomhaslaidmanyaburdenuponthebacksofmen,hassavedthemfromthis;forhadweforeknowledgeofthefuture,Ithinkthatofourownwillbutfewofuswouldlivetoseeit。
SoIcastonelonglastlooktowardsthedistantmassofoaksthatmarkedthespotwhereLilylived,androdeon。
OnthefollowingdayIembarkedonboardthe’Adventuress’andwesailed。
BeforeIleft,myfather’sheartsoftenedmuchtowardsme,forherememberedthatIwasmymother’sbestbeloved,andfearedalsolestweshouldmeetnomore。
Somuchdiditsoftenindeed,thatatthelasthourhechangedhismindandwishedtoholdmebackfromgoing。
Buthavingputmyhandtotheploughandsufferedallthebitternessoffarewell,Iwouldnotreturntobemockedbymybrotherandmyneighbours。
’Youspeaktoolate,father,’I
said。
’Youdesiredmetogotoworkthisvengeanceandstirredmetoitwithmanybitterwords,andnowIwouldgoifIknewthatI
mustdiewithinaweek,forsuchoathscannotbelightlybroken,andtillmineisfulfilledthecurserestsonme。’
’Sobeit,son,’heansweredwithasigh。
’Yourmother’scrueldeathmaddenedmeandIsaidwhatImaylivetobesorryfor,thoughatthebestIshallnotlivelong,formyheartisbroken。
PerhapsIshouldhaverememberedthatvengeanceisinthehandoftheLord,whowreaksitatHisowntimeandwithoutourhelp。
Donotthinkunkindlyofme,myboy,ifweshouldchancetomeetnomore,forIloveyou,anditwasbutthedeeperlovethatIboretoyourmotherwhichmademedealharshlywithyou。’
’Iknowit,father,andbearnogrudge。
Butifyouthinkthatyouowemeanything,payitbyholdingbackmybrotherfromworkingwrongtomeandLilyBozardwhileIamabsent。’
’Iwilldomybest,son,thoughwereitnotthatyouandshehavegrownsodeartoeachother,thematchwouldhavepleasedmewell。
ButasIhavesaid,Ishallnotbelongheretowatchyourwelfareinthisoranyothermatter,andwhenIamgonethingsmustfollowtheirownfate。
DonotforgetyourGodoryourhomewhereveryouchancetowander,Thomas:keepyourselffrombrawling,bewareofwomenthatarethesnareofyouth,andsetawatchuponyourtongueandyourtemperwhichisnotofthebest。
Moreover,whereveryoumaybedonotspeakillofthereligionoftheland,ormakeamockofitbyyourwayoflife,lestyoushouldlearnhowcruelmencanbewhentheythinkthatitispleasingtotheirgods,asIhavelearntalready。’
IsaidthatIwouldbearhiscounselinmind,andindeeditsavedmefrommanyasorrow。