Theeducationofboysatdistantgreatschools,ofyoungmenatdistantcolleges,ofyoungladiesindistantnunneriesandboarding-schools,seems,inthehigherranksoflife,tohavehurtmostessentiallythedomesticmorals,andconsequentlythedomestichappiness,bothofFranceandEngland。Doyouwishtoeducateyourchildrentobedutifultotheirparents,tobekindandaffectionatetotheirbrothersandsisters?putthemunderthenecessityofbeingdutifulchildren,ofbeingkindandaffectionatebrothersandsisters:educatetheminyourownhouse。Fromtheirparent’shousetheymay,withproprietyandadvantage,goouteverydaytoattendpublicschools:butlettheirdwellingbealwaysathome。Respectforyoumustalwaysimposeaveryusefulrestraintupontheirconduct;andrespectforthemmayfrequentlyimposenouselessrestraintuponyourown。Surelynoacquirement,whichcanpossiblybederivedfromwhatiscalledapubliceducation,canmakeanysortofcompensationforwhatisalmostcertainlyandnecessarilylostbyit。Domesticeducationistheinstitutionofnature;publiceducation,thecontrivanceofman。Itissurelyunnecessarytosay,whichislikelytobethewisest。
Insometragediesandromances,wemeetwithmanybeautifulandinterestingscenes,foundedupon,whatiscalled,theforceofblood,oruponthewonderfulaffectionwhichnearrelationsaresupposedtoconceiveforoneanother,evenbeforetheyknowthattheyhaveanysuchconnection。Thisforceofblood,however,Iamafraid,existsno-wherebutintragediesandromances。Evenintragediesandromances,itisneversupposedtotakeplacebetweenanyrelations,butthosewhoarenaturallybredupinthesamehouse;betweenparentsandchildren,betweenbrothersandsisters。Toimagineanysuchmysteriousaffectionbetweencousins,orevenbetweenauntsoruncles,andnephewsornieces,wouldbetooridiculous。
Inpastoralcountries,andinallcountrieswheretheauthorityoflawisnotalonesufficienttogiveperfectsecuritytoeverymemberofthestate,allthedifferentbranchesofthesamefamilycommonlychusetoliveintheneighbourhoodofoneanother。Theirassociationisfrequentlynecessaryfortheircommondefence。Theyareall,fromthehighesttothelowest,ofmoreorlessimportancetooneanother。Theirconcordstrengthenstheirnecessaryassociation;theirdiscordalwaysweakens,andmightdestroyit。Theyhavemoreintercoursewithoneanother,thanwiththemembersofanyothertribe。Theremotestmembersofthesametribeclaimsomeconnectionwithoneanother;and,whereallothercircumstancesareequal,expecttobetreatedwithmoredistinguishedattentionthanisduetothosewhohavenosuchpretensions。Itisnotmanyyearsagothat,intheHighlandsofScotland,theChieftainusedtoconsiderthepoorestmanofhisclan,ashiscousinandrelation。ThesameextensiveregardtokindredissaidtotakeplaceamongtheTartars,theArabs,theTurkomans,and,Ibelieve,amongallothernationswhoarenearlyinthesamestateofsocietyinwhichtheScotsHighlanderswereaboutthebeginningofthepresentcentury。
Incommercialcountries,wheretheauthorityoflawisalwaysperfectlysufficienttoprotectthemeanestmaninthestate,thedescendantsofthesamefamily,havingnosuchmotiveforkeepingtogether,naturallyseparateanddisperse,asinterestorinclinationmaydirect。Theysoonceasetobeofimportancetooneanother;and,inafewgenerations,notonlyloseallcareaboutoneanother,butallremembranceoftheircommonorigin,andoftheconnectionwhichtookplaceamongtheirancestors。
Regardforremoterelationsbecomes,ineverycountry,lessandless,accordingasthisstateofcivilizationhasbeenlongerandmorecompletelyestablished。IthasbeenlongerandmorecompletelyestablishedinEnglandthaninScotland;andremoterelationsare,accordingly,moreconsideredinthelattercountrythanintheformer,though,inthisrespect,thedifferencebetweenthetwocountriesisgrowinglessandlesseveryday。
Greatlords,indeed,are,ineverycountry,proudofrememberingandacknowledgingtheirconnectionwithoneanother,howeverremote。Theremembranceofsuchillustriousrelationsflattersnotalittlethefamilyprideofthemall;anditisneitherfromaffection,norfromanythingwhichresemblesaffection,butfromthemostfrivolousandchildishofallvanities,thatthisremembranceissocarefullykeptup。Shouldsomemorehumble,though,perhaps,muchnearerkinsman,presumetoputsuchgreatmeninmindofhisrelationtotheirfamily,theyseldomfailtotellhimthattheyarebadgenealogists,andmiserablyill-informedconcerningtheirownfamilyhistory。Itisnotinthatorder,Iamafraid,thatwearetoexpectanyextraordinaryextensionof,whatiscalled,naturalaffection。
Iconsiderwhatiscallednaturalaffectionasmoretheeffectofthemoralthanofthesupposedphysicalconnectionbetweentheparentandthechild。Ajealoushusband,indeed,notwithstandingthemoralconnection,notwithstandingthechild’shavingbeeneducatedinhisownhouse,oftenregards,withhatredandaversion,thatunhappychildwhichhesupposestobetheoffspringofhiswife’sinfidelity。Itisthelastingmonumentofamostdisagreeableadventure;ofhisowndishonour,andofthedisgraceofhisfamily。
Amongwell-disposedpeople,thenecessityorconveniencyofmutualaccommodation,veryfrequentlyproducesafriendshipnotunlikethatwhichtakesplaceamongthosewhoareborntoliveinthesamefamily。Colleaguesinoffice,partnersintrade,calloneanotherbrothers;andfrequentlyfeeltowardsoneanotherasiftheyreallywereso。Theirgoodagreementisanadvantagetoall;and,iftheyaretolerablyreasonablepeople,theyarenaturallydisposedtoagree。Weexpectthattheyshoulddoso;
andtheirdisagreementisasortofasmallscandal。TheRomansexpressedthissortofattachmentbythewordnecessitudo,which,fromtheetymology,seemstodenotethatitwasimposedbythenecessityofthesituation。
Eventhetriflingcircumstanceoflivinginthesameneighbourhood,hassomeeffectofthesamekind。Werespectthefaceofamanwhomweseeeveryday,providedhehasneveroffendedus。Neighbourscanbeveryconvenient,andtheycanbeverytroublesome,tooneanother。Iftheyaregoodsortofpeople,theyarenaturallydisposedtoagree。Weexpecttheirgoodagreement;andtobeabadneighbourisaverybadcharacter。Therearecertainsmallgoodoffices,accordingly,whichareuniversallyallowedtobeduetoaneighbourinpreferencetoanyotherpersonwhohasnosuchconnection。
Thisnaturaldispositiontoaccommodateandtoassimilate,asmuchaswecan,ourownsentiments,principles,andfeelings,tothosewhichweseefixedandrootedinthepersonswhomweareobligedtoliveandconverseagreatdealwith,isthecauseofthecontagiouseffectsofbothgoodandbadcompany。Themanwhoassociateschieflywiththewiseandthevirtuous,thoughhemaynothimselfbecomeeitherwiseorvirtuous,cannothelpconceivingacertainrespectatleastforwisdomandvirtue;andthemanwhoassociateschieflywiththeprofligateandthedissolute,thoughhemaynothimselfbecomeprofligateanddissolute,mustsoonlose,atleast,allhisoriginalabhorrenceofprofligacyanddissolutionofmanners。Thesimilarityoffamilycharacters,whichwesofrequentlyseetransmittedthroughseveralsuccessivegenerations,may,perhaps,bepartlyowingtothisdisposition,toassimilateourselvestothosewhomweareobligedtoliveandconverseagreatdealwith。Thefamilycharacter,however,likethefamilycountenance,seemstobeowing,notaltogethertothemoral,butpartlytootothephysicalconnection。Thefamilycountenanceiscertainlyaltogetherowingtothelatter。
Butofallattachmentstoanindividual,thatwhichisfoundedaltogetherupontheesteemandapprobationofhisgoodconductandbehaviour,confirmedbymuchexperienceandlongacquaintance,is,byfar,themostrespectable。Suchfriendships,arisingnotfromaconstrainedsympathy,notfromasympathywhichhasbeenassumedandrenderedhabitualforthesakeofconveniencyandaccommodation;butfromanaturalsympathy,fromaninvoluntaryfeelingthatthepersonstowhomweattachourselvesarethenaturalandproperobjectsofesteemandapprobation;canexistonlyamongmenofvirtue。Menofvirtueonlycanfeelthatentireconfidenceintheconductandbehaviourofoneanother,whichcan,atalltimes,assurethemthattheycannevereitheroffendorbeoffendedbyoneanother。Viceisalwayscapricious:virtueonlyisregularandorderly。Theattachmentwhichisfoundedupontheloveofvirtue,asitiscertainly,ofallattachments,themostvirtuous;soitislikewisethehappiest,aswellasthemostpermanentandsecure。
Suchfriendshipsneednotbeconfinedtoasingleperson,butmaysafelyembraceallthewiseandvirtuous,withwhomwehavebeenlongandintimatelyacquainted,anduponwhosewisdomandvirtuewecan,uponthataccount,entirelydepend。Theywhowouldconfinefriendshiptotwopersons,seemtoconfoundthewisesecurityoffriendshipwiththejealousyandfollyoflove。Thehasty,fond,andfoolishintimaciesofyoungpeople,founded,commonly,uponsomeslightsimilarityofcharacter,altogetherunconnectedwithgoodconduct,uponataste,perhaps,forthesamestudies,thesameamusements,thesamediversions,orupontheiragreementinsomesingularprincipleoropinion,notcommonlyadopted;thoseintimacieswhichafreakbegins,andwhichafreakputsanendto,howagreeablesoevertheymayappearwhiletheylast,canbynomeansdeservethesacredandvenerablenameoffriendship。
Ofallthepersons,however,whomnaturepointsoutforourpeculiarbeneficence,therearenonetowhomitseemsmoreproperlydirectedthantothosewhosebeneficencewehaveourselvesalreadyexperienced。Nature,whichformedmenforthatmutualkindness,sonecessaryfortheirhappiness,renderseverymanthepeculiarobjectofkindness,tothepersonstowhomhehimselfhasbeenkind。Thoughtheirgratitudeshouldnotalwayscorrespondtohisbeneficence,yetthesenseofhismerit,thesympatheticgratitudeoftheimpartialspectator,willalwayscorrespondtoit。Thegeneralindignationofotherpeople,againstthebasenessoftheiringratitude,willeven,sometimes,increasethegeneralsenseofhismerit。Nobenevolentmaneverlostaltogetherthefruitsofhisbenevolence。Ifhedoesnotalwaysgatherthemfromthepersonsfromwhomheoughttohavegatheredthem,heseldomfailstogatherthem,andwithatenfoldincrease,fromotherpeople。Kindnessistheparentofkindness;
andiftobebelovedbyourbrethrenbethegreatobjectofourambition,thesurestwayofobtainingitis,byourconducttoshowthatwereallylovethem。
Afterthepersonswhoarerecommendedtoourbeneficence,eitherbytheirconnectionwithourselves,bytheirpersonalqualities,orbytheirpastservices,comethosewhoarepointedout,notindeedto,whatiscalled,ourfriendship,buttoourbenevolentattentionandgoodoffices;thosewhoaredistinguishedbytheirextraordinarysituation;thegreatlyfortunateandthegreatlyunfortunate,therichandthepowerful,thepoorandthewretched。Thedistinctionofranks,thepeaceandorderofsociety,are,inagreatmeasure,foundedupontherespectwhichwenaturallyconceivefortheformer。Thereliefandconsolationofhumanmiserydependaltogetheruponourcompassionforthelatter。Thepeaceandorderofsociety,isofmoreimportancethaneventhereliefofthemiserable。Ourrespectforthegreat,accordingly,ismostapttooffendbyitsexcess;ourfellow_feelingforthemiserable,byitsdefect。
Moralistsexhortustocharityandcompassion。Theywarnusagainstthefascinationofgreatness。Thisfascination,indeed,issopowerful,thattherichandthegreataretoooftenpreferredtothewiseandthevirtuous。Naturehaswiselyjudgedthatthedistinctionofranks,thepeaceandorderofsociety,wouldrestmoresecurelyupontheplainandpalpabledifferenceofbirthandfortune,thanupontheinvisibleandoftenuncertaindifferenceofwisdomandvirtue。Theundistinguishingeyesofthegreatmobofmankindcanwellenoughperceivetheformer:itiswithdifficultythatthenicediscernmentofthewiseandthevirtuouscansometimesdistinguishthelatter。Intheorderofallthoserecommendations,thebenevolentwisdomofnatureisequallyevident。