“Well,youmusttaketheresponsibility,“hesaid。“I’vemadeupmymind;IshallgototheBar。“
Hiswordswereveryserious,almostemotional;theyrecalledHelenafterasecond’shesitation。
“I’msureyou’reright,“shesaidwarmly,andshookthehandheheldout。“You’llbeagreatman,I’mcertain。“
Then,asiftomakehimlookatthescene,shesweptherhandroundtheimmensecircumferenceoftheview。Fromthesea,overtheroofsofthetown,acrossthecrestsofthemountains,overtheriverandtheplain,andagainacrossthecrestsofthemountainsitsweptuntilitreachedthevilla,thegarden,themagnolia-tree,andthefiguresofHirstandherselfstandingtogether,whenitdroppedtoherside。
HewetandRachelhadlongagoreachedtheparticularplaceontheedgeofthecliffwhere,lookingdownintothesea,youmightchanceonjelly-fishanddolphins。Lookingtheotherway,thevastexpanseoflandgavethemasensationwhichisgivenbynoview,howeverextended,inEngland;thevillagesandthehillstherehavingnames,andthefarthesthorizonofhillsasoftenasnotdippingandshowingalineofmistwhichisthesea;heretheviewwasoneofinfinitesun-driedearth,earthpointedinpinnacles,heapedinvastbarriers,earthwideningandspreadingawayandawayliketheimmensefloorofthesea,earthchequeredbydayandbynight,andpartitionedintodifferentlands,wherefamouscitieswerefounded,andtheracesofmenchangedfromdarksavagestowhitecivilisedmen,andbacktodarksavagesagain。PerhapstheirEnglishbloodmadethisprospectuncomfortablyimpersonalandhostiletothem,forhavingonceturnedtheirfacesthatwaytheynextturnedthemtothesea,andfortherestofthetimesatlookingatthesea。
Thesea,thoughitwasathinandsparklingwaterhere,whichseemedincapableofsurgeoranger,eventuallynarroweditself,cloudeditspuretintwithgrey,andswirledthroughnarrowchannelsanddashedinashiverofbrokenwatersagainstmassivegraniterocks。
ItwasthisseathatfloweduptothemouthoftheThames;
andtheThameswashedtherootsofthecityofLondon。
Hewet’sthoughtshadfollowedsomesuchcourseasthis,forthefirstthinghesaidastheystoodontheedgeofthecliffwas——
“I’dliketobeinEngland!“
Rachellaydownonherelbow,andpartedthetallgrasseswhichgrewontheedge,sothatshemighthaveaclearview。Thewaterwasverycalm;rockingupanddownatthebaseofthecliff,andsoclearthatonecouldseetheredofthestonesatthebottomofit。
Soithadbeenatthebirthoftheworld,andsoithadremainedeversince。Probablynohumanbeinghadeverbrokenthatwaterwithboatorwithbody。Obeyingsomeimpulse,shedeterminedtomarthateternityofpeace,andthrewthelargestpebbleshecouldfind。
Itstruckthewater,andtheripplesspreadoutandout。
Hewetlookeddowntoo。
“It’swonderful,“hesaid,astheywidenedandceased。Thefreshnessandthenewnessseemedtohimwonderful。Hethrewapebblenext。
Therewasscarcelyanysound。
“ButEngland,“Rachelmurmuredintheabsorbedtoneofonewhoseeyesareconcentrateduponsomesight。“Whatd’youwantwithEngland?“
“Myfriendschiefly,“hesaid,“andallthethingsonedoes。“
HecouldlookatRachelwithouthernoticingit。Shewasstillabsorbedinthewaterandtheexquisitelypleasantsensationswhichalittledepthoftheseawashingoverrockssuggests。
Henoticedthatshewaswearingadressofdeepbluecolour,madeofasoftthincottonstuff,whichclungtotheshapeofherbody。
Itwasabodywiththeanglesandhollowsofayoungwoman’sbodynotyetdeveloped,butinnowaydistorted,andthusinterestingandevenlovable。RaisinghiseyesHewetobservedherhead;
shehadtakenherhatoff,andthefacerestedonherhand。
Asshelookeddownintothesea,herlipswereslightlyparted。
Theexpressionwasoneofchildlikeintentness,asifshewerewatchingforafishtoswimpastovertheclearredrocks。
Neverthelesshertwenty-fouryearsoflifehadgivenheralookofreserve。Herhand,whichlayontheground,thefingerscurlingslightlyin,waswellshapedandcompetent;thesquare-tippedandnervousfingerswerethefingersofamusician。WithsomethinglikeanguishHewetrealisedthat,farfrombeingunattractive,herbodywasveryattractivetohim。Shelookedupsuddenly。
Hereyeswerefullofeagernessandinterest。
“Youwritenovels?“sheasked。
Forthemomenthecouldnotthinkwhathewassaying。Hewasovercomewiththedesiretoholdherinhisarms。
“Ohyes,“hesaid。“Thatis,Iwanttowritethem。“
Shewouldnottakeherlargegreyeyesoffhisface。
“Novels,“sherepeated。“Whydoyouwritenovels?Yououghttowritemusic。Music,yousee“——sheshiftedhereyes,andbecamelessdesirableasherbrainbegantowork,inflictingacertainchangeuponherface——“musicgoesstraightforthings。Itsaysallthereistosayatonce。Withwritingitseemstomethere’ssomuch“——shepausedforanexpression,andrubbedherfingersintheearth——“scratchingonthematchbox。MostofthetimewhenI
wasreadingGibbonthisafternoonIwashorribly,ohinfernally,damnablybored!“Shegaveashakeoflaughter,lookingatHewet,wholaughedtoo。
“_I_shan’tlendyoubooks,“heremarked。
“Whyisit,“Rachelcontinued,“thatIcanlaughatMr。Hirsttoyou,butnottohisface?AtteaIwascompletelyoverwhelmed,notbyhisugliness——byhismind。“Sheenclosedacircleintheairwithherhands。SherealisedwithagreatsenseofcomfortwhoeasilyshecouldtalktoHewet,thosethornsorraggedcornerswhichtearthesurfaceofsomerelationshipsbeingsmoothedaway。
“SoIobserved,“saidHewet。“That’sathingthatneverceasestoamazeme。“Hehadrecoveredhiscomposuretosuchanextentthathecouldlightandsmokeacigarette,andfeelingherease,becamehappyandeasyhimself。
“Therespectthatwomen,evenwell-educated,veryablewomen,haveformen,“hewenton。“Ibelievewemusthavethesortofpoweroveryouthatwe’resaidtohaveoverhorses。Theyseeusthreetimesasbigasweareorthey’dneverobeyus。Forthatveryreason,I’minclinedtodoubtthatyou’lleverdoanythingevenwhenyouhavethevote。“Helookedatherreflectively。Sheappearedverysmoothandsensitiveandyoung。“It’lltakeatleastsixgenerationsbeforeyou’resufficientlythick-skinnedtogointolawcourtsandbusinessoffices。Considerwhatabullytheordinarymanis,“
hecontinued,“theordinaryhard-working,ratherambitioussolicitorormanofbusinesswithafamilytobringupandacertainpositiontomaintain。Andthen,ofcourse,thedaughtershavetogivewaytothesons;thesonshavetobeeducated;theyhavetobullyandshovefortheirwivesandfamilies,andsoitallcomesoveragain。
Andmeanwhiletherearethewomeninthebackground……Doyoureallythinkthatthevotewilldoyouanygood?“
“Thevote?“Rachelrepeated。Shehadtovisualiseitasalittlebitofpaperwhichshedroppedintoaboxbeforesheunderstoodhisquestion,andlookingateachothertheysmiledatsomethingabsurdinthequestion。
“Nottome,“shesaid。“ButIplaythepiano……Aremenreallylikethat?“sheasked,returningtothequestionthatinterestedher。
“I’mnotafraidofyou。“Shelookedathimeasily。
“Oh,I’mdifferent,“Hewetreplied。“I’vegotbetweensixandsevenhundredayearofmyown。Andthennoonetakesanovelistseriously,thankheavens。There’snodoubtithelpstomakeupforthedrudgeryofaprofessionifaman’stakenvery,veryseriouslybyeveryone——
ifhegetsappointments,andhasofficesandatitle,andlotsoflettersafterhisname,andbitsofribbonanddegrees。
Idon’tgrudgeit’em,thoughsometimesitcomesoverme——whatanamazingconcoction!Whatamiraclethemasculineconceptionoflifeis——judges,civilservants,army,navy,HousesofParliament,lordmayors——whataworldwe’vemadeofit!LookatHirstnow。
Iassureyou,“hesaid,“notaday’spassedsincewecameherewithoutadiscussionastowhetherhe’stostayonatCambridgeortogototheBar。It’shiscareer——hissacredcareer。AndifI’veheardittwentytimes,I’msurehismotherandsisterhavehearditfivehundredtimes。Can’tyouimaginethefamilyconclaves,andthesistertoldtorunoutandfeedtherabbitsbecauseSt。Johnmusthavetheschool-roomtohimself——’St。John’sworking,’’St。Johnwantshisteabroughttohim。’Don’tyouknowthekindofthing?
NowonderthatSt。Johnthinksitamatterofconsiderableimportance。
Itistoo。Hehastoearnhisliving。ButSt。John’ssister——“
Hewetpuffedinsilence。“Noonetakesherseriously,poordear。
Shefeedstherabbits。“
“Yes,“saidRachel。“I’vefedrabbitsfortwenty-fouryears;itseemsoddnow。“Shelookedmeditative,andHewet,whohadbeentalkingmuchatrandomandinstinctivelyadoptingthefemininepointofview,sawthatshewouldnowtalkaboutherself,whichwaswhathewanted,forsotheymightcometoknoweachother。
Shelookedbackmeditativelyuponherpastlife。
“Howdoyouspendyourday?“heasked。
Shemeditatedstill。Whenshethoughtoftheirdayitseemedtoheritwascutintofourpiecesbytheirmeals。Thesedivisionswereabsolutelyrigid,thecontentsofthedayhavingtoaccommodatethemselveswithinthefourrigidbars。Lookingbackatherlife,thatwaswhatshesaw。
“Breakfastnine;luncheonone;teafive;dinnereight,“shesaid。
“Well,“saidHewet,“whatd’youdointhemorning?“
“Ineedtoplaythepianoforhoursandhours。“
“Andafterluncheon?“
“ThenIwentshoppingwithoneofmyaunts。Orwewenttoseesomeone,orwetookamessage;orwedidsomethingthathadtobedone——
thetapsmightbeleaking。Theyvisitthepooragooddeal——
oldchar-womenwithbadlegs,womenwhowantticketsforhospitals。
OrIusedtowalkintheparkbymyself。Andafterteapeoplesometimescalled;orinsummerwesatinthegardenorplayedcroquet;
inwinterIreadaloud,whiletheyworked;afterdinnerIplayedthepianoandtheywroteletters。Iffatherwasathomewehadfriendsofhistodinner,andaboutonceamonthwewentuptotheplay。
Everynowandthenwedinedout;sometimesIwenttoadanceinLondon,butthatwasdifficultbecauseofgettingback。
Thepeoplewesawwereoldfamilyfriends,andrelations,butwedidn’tseemanypeople。Therewastheclergyman,Mr。Pepper,andtheHunts。Fathergenerallywantedtobequietwhenhecamehome,becauseheworksveryhardatHull。Alsomyauntsaren’tverystrong。Ahousetakesupalotoftimeifyoudoitproperly。
Ourservantswerealwaysbad,andsoAuntLucyusedtodoagooddealinthekitchen,andAuntClara,Ithink,spentmostofthemorningdustingthedrawing-roomandgoingthroughthelinenandsilver。
Thentherewerethedogs。Theyhadtobeexercised,besidesbeingwashedandbrushed。NowSandy’sdead,butAuntClarahasaveryoldcockatoothatcamefromIndia。Everythinginourhouse,“
sheexclaimed,“comesfromsomewhere!It’sfullofoldfurniture,notreallyold,Victorian,thingsmother’sfamilyhadorfather’sfamilyhad,whichtheydidn’tliketogetridof,Isuppose,thoughwe’vereallynoroomforthem。It’sratheranicehouse,“
shecontinued,“exceptthatit’salittledingy——dullIshouldsay。“
Shecalledupbeforehereyesavisionofthedrawing-roomathome;
itwasalargeoblongroom,withasquarewindowopeningonthegarden。
Greenplushchairsstoodagainstthewall;therewasaheavycarvedbook-case,withglassdoors,andageneralimpressionoffadedsofacovers,largespacesofpalegreen,andbasketswithpiecesofwool-workdroppingoutofthem。PhotographsfromoldItalianmasterpieceshungonthewalls,andviewsofVenetianbridgesandSwedishwaterfallswhichmembersofthefamilyhadseenyearsago。