Fromtheirfacesitseemedthatforthemostparttheymadenoeffortatall,and,recumbentasitwere,acceptedtheideasthewordsgaveasrepresentinggoodness,inthesameway,nodoubt,asoneofthoseindustriousneedlewomenhadacceptedthebrightuglypatternonhermatasbeauty。
Whateverthereasonmightbe,forthefirsttimeinherlife,insteadofslippingatonceintosomecuriouspleasantcloudofemotion,toofamiliartobeconsidered,Rachellistenedcriticallytowhatwasbeingsaid。Bythetimetheyhadswunginanirregularwayfromprayertopsalm,frompsalmtohistory,fromhistorytopoetry,andMr。Baxwasgivingouthistext,shewasinastateofacutediscomfort。Suchwasthediscomfortshefeltwhenforcedtositthroughanunsatisfactorypieceofmusicbadlyplayed。
Tantalised,enragedbytheclumsyinsensitivenessoftheconductor,whoputthestressonthewrongplaces,andannoyedbythevastflockoftheaudiencetamelypraisingandacquiescingwithoutknowingorcaring,soshewasnottantalizedandenraged,onlyhere,witheyeshalf-shutandlipspursedtogether,theatmosphereofforcedsolemnityincreasedheranger。Allroundherwerepeoplepretendingtofeelwhattheydidnotfeel,whilesomewhereaboveherfloatedtheideawhichtheycouldnoneofthemgrasp,whichtheypretendedtograsp,alwaysescapingoutofreach,abeautifulidea,anidealikeabutterfly。Oneafteranother,vastandhardandcold,appearedtoherthechurchesallovertheworldwherethisblunderingeffortandmisunderstandingwereperpetuallygoingon,greatbuildings,filledwithinnumerablemenandwomen,notseeingclearly,whofinallygaveuptheefforttosee,andrelapsedtamelyintopraiseandacquiescence,half-shuttingtheireyesandpursinguptheirlips。
Thethoughthadthesamesortofphysicaldiscomfortasiscausedbyafilmofmistalwayscomingbetweentheeyesandtheprintedpage。
Shedidherbesttobrushawaythefilmandtoconceivesomethingtobeworshippedastheservicewenton,butfailed,alwaysmisledbythevoiceofMr。Baxsayingthingswhichmisrepresentedtheidea,andbythepatterofbaainginexpressivehumanvoicesfallingroundherlikedampleaves。Theeffortwastiringanddispiriting。
Sheceasedtolisten,andfixedhereyesonthefaceofawomannearher,ahospitalnurse,whoseexpressionofdevoutattentionseemedtoprovethatshewasatanyratereceivingsatisfaction。
Butlookingathercarefullyshecametotheconclusionthatthehospitalnursewasonlyslavishlyacquiescent,andthatthelookofsatisfactionwasproducedbynosplendidconceptionofGodwithinher。
Howindeed,couldsheconceiveanythingfaroutsideherownexperience,awomanwithacommonplacefacelikehers,alittleroundredface,uponwhichtrivialdutiesandtrivialspiteshaddrawnlines,whoseweakblueeyessawwithoutintensityorindividuality,whosefeatureswereblurred,insensitive,andcallous?Shewasadoringsomethingshallowandsmug,clingingtoit,sotheobstinatemouthwitnessed,withtheassiduityofalimpet;nothingwouldtearherfromherdemurebeliefinherownvirtueandthevirtuesofherreligion。
Shewasalimpet,withthesensitivesideofherstucktoarock,foreverdeadtotherushoffreshandbeautifulthingspasther。
ThefaceofthissingleworshipperbecameprintedonRachel’smindwithanimpressionofkeenhorror,andshehaditsuddenlyrevealedtoherwhatHelenmeantandSt。JohnmeantwhentheyproclaimedtheirhatredofChristianity。Withtheviolencethatnowmarkedherfeelings,sherejectedallthatshehadimplicitlybelieved。
MeanwhileMr。Baxwashalf-waythroughthesecondlesson。
Shelookedathim。Hewasamanoftheworldwithsupplelipsandanagreeablemanner,hewasindeedamanofmuchkindlinessandsimplicity,thoughbynomeansclever,butshewasnotinthemoodtogiveanyonecreditforsuchqualities,andexaminedhimasthoughhewereanepitomeofallthevicesofhisservice。
RightatthebackofthechapelMrs。Flushing,Hirst,andHewetsatinarowinaverydifferentframeofmind。Hewetwasstaringattheroofwithhislegsstuckoutinfrontofhim,forashehadnevertriedtomaketheservicefitanyfeelingorideaofhis,hewasabletoenjoythebeautyofthelanguagewithouthindrance。
Hismindwasoccupiedfirstwithaccidentalthings,suchasthewomen’shairinfrontofhim,thelightonthefaces,thenwiththewordswhichseemedtohimmagnificent,andthenmorevaguelywiththecharactersoftheotherworshippers。ButwhenhesuddenlyperceivedRachel,allthesethoughtsweredrivenoutofhishead,andhethoughtonlyofher。Thepsalms,theprayers,theLitany,andthesermonwereallreducedtoonechantingsoundwhichpaused,andthenreneweditself,alittlehigheroralittlelower。
HestaredalternatelyatRachelandattheceiling,buthisexpressionwasnowproducednotbywhathesawbutbysomethinginhismind。
Hewasalmostaspainfullydisturbedbyhisthoughtsasshewasbyhers。
EarlyintheserviceMrs。FlushinghaddiscoveredthatshehadtakenupaBibleinsteadofaprayer-book,and,asshewassittingnexttoHirst,shestoleaglanceoverhisshoulder。Hewasreadingsteadilyinthethinpale-bluevolume。Unabletounderstand,shepeeredcloser,uponwhichHirstpolitelylaidthebookbeforeher,pointingtothefirstlineofaGreekpoemandthentothetranslationopposite。
“What’sthat?“shewhisperedinquisitively。
“Sappho,“hereplied。“TheoneSwinburnedid——thebestthingthat’severbeenwritten。“
Mrs。Flushingcouldnotresistsuchanopportunity。ShegulpeddowntheOdetoAphroditeduringtheLitany,keepingherselfwithdifficultyfromaskingwhenSappholived,andwhatelseshewroteworthreading,andcontrivingtocomeinpunctuallyattheendwith“theforgivenessofsins,theResurrectionofthebody,andthelifeeverlastin’。Amen。“
MeanwhileHirsttookoutanenvelopeandbeganscribblingonthebackofit。WhenMr。BaxmountedthepulpitheshutupSapphowithhisenvelopebetweenthepages,settledhisspectacles,andfixedhisgazeintentlyupontheclergyman。Standinginthepulpithelookedverylargeandfat;thelightcomingthroughthegreenishunstainedwindow-glassmadehisfaceappearsmoothandwhitelikeaverylargeegg。
Helookedroundatallthefaceslookingmildlyupathim,althoughsomeofthemwerethefacesofmenandwomenoldenoughtobehisgrandparents,andgaveouthistextwithweightysignificance。
Theargumentofthesermonwasthatvisitorstothisbeautifulland,althoughtheywereonaholiday,owedadutytothenatives。
Itdidnot,intruth,differverymuchfromaleadingarticleupontopicsofgeneralinterestintheweeklynewspapers。Itrambledwithakindofamiableverbosityfromoneheadingtoanother,suggestingthatallhumanbeingsareverymuchthesameundertheirskins,illustratingthisbytheresemblanceofthegameswhichlittleSpanishboysplaytothegameslittleboysinLondonstreetsplay,observingthatverysmallthingsdoinfluencepeople,particularlynatives;infact,averydearfriendofMr。Bax’shadtoldhimthatthesuccessofourruleinIndia,thatvastcountry,largelydependeduponthestrictcodeofpolitenesswhichtheEnglishadoptedtowardsthenatives,whichledtotheremarkthatsmallthingswerenotnecessarilysmall,andthatsomehowtothevirtueofsympathy,whichwasavirtuenevermoreneededthanto-day,whenwelivedinatimeofexperimentandupheaval——
witnesstheaeroplaneandwirelesstelegraph,andtherewereotherproblemswhichhardlypresentedthemselvestoourfathers,butwhichnomanwhocalledhimselfamancouldleaveunsettled。
HereMr。Baxbecamemoredefinitelyclerical,ifitwerepossible,heseemedtospeakwithacertaininnocentcraftiness,ashepointedoutthatallthislaidaspecialdutyuponearnestChristians。
Whatmenwereinclinedtosaynowwas,“Oh,thatfellow——he’saparson。“
Whatwewantthemtosayis,“He’sagoodfellow“——inotherwords,“Heismybrother。“Heexhortedthemtokeepintouchwithmenofthemoderntype;theymustsympathisewiththeirmultifariousinterestsinordertokeepbeforetheireyesthatwhateverdiscoveriesweremadetherewasonediscoverywhichcouldnotbesuperseded,whichwasindeedasmuchofanecessitytothemostsuccessfulandmostbrilliantofthemallasithadbeentotheirfathers。
Thehumblestcouldhelp;theleastimportantthingshadaninfluenceherehismannerbecamedefinitelypriestlyandhisremarksseemedtobedirectedtowomen,forindeedMr。Bax’scongregationsweremainlycomposedofwomen,andhewasusedtoassigningthemtheirdutiesinhisinnocentclericalcampaigns。Leavingmoredefiniteinstruction,hepassedon,andhisthemebroadenedintoaperorationforwhichhedrewalongbreathandstoodveryupright,——“Asadropofwater,detached,alone,separatefromothers,fallingfromthecloudandenteringthegreatocean,alters,soscientiststellus,notonlytheimmediatespotintheoceanwhereitfalls,butallthemyriaddropswhichtogethercomposethegreatuniverseofwaters,andbythismeansalterstheconfigurationoftheglobeandthelivesofmillionsofseacreatures,andfinallythelivesofthemenandwomenwhoseektheirlivingupontheshores——
asallthisiswithinthecompassofasingledropofwater,suchasanyrainshowersendsinmillionstolosethemselvesintheearth,tolosethemselveswesay,butweknowverywellthatthefruitsoftheearthcouldnotflourishwithoutthem——
soisamarvelcomparabletothiswithinthereachofeachoneofus,whodroppingalittlewordoralittledeedintothegreatuniversealtersit;yea,itisasolemnthought,_alters_it,forgoodorforevil,notforoneinstant,orinonevicinity,butthroughouttheentirerace,andforalleternity。“Whippingroundasthoughtoavoidapplause,hecontinuedwiththesamebreath,butinadifferenttoneofvoice,——“AndnowtoGodtheFather……“
Hegavehisblessing,andthen,whilethesolemnchordsagainissuedfromtheharmoniumbehindthecurtain,thedifferentpeoplebeganscrapingandfumblingandmovingveryawkwardlyandconsciouslytowardsthedoor。Half-wayupstairs,atapointwherethelightandsoundsoftheupperworldconflictedwiththedimnessandthedyinghymn-tuneoftheunder,Rachelfeltahanddropuponhershoulder。
“MissVinrace,“Mrs。Flushingwhisperedperemptorily,“staytoluncheon。
It’ssuchadismalday。Theydon’tevengiveonebeefforluncheon。
Pleasestay。“
Heretheycameoutintothehall,whereoncemorethelittlebandwasgreetedwithcuriousrespectfulglancesbythepeoplewhohadnotgonetochurch,althoughtheirclothingmadeitclearthattheyapprovedofSundaytotheveryvergeofgoingtochurch。
Rachelfeltunabletostandanymoreofthisparticularatmosphere,andwasabouttosayshemustgoback,whenTerencepassedthem,drawnalongintalkwithEvelynM。Rachelthereuponcontentedherselfwithsayingthatthepeoplelookedveryrespectable,whichnegativeremarkMrs。Flushinginterpretedtomeanthatshewouldstay。
“Englishpeopleabroad!“shereturnedwithavividflashofmalice。
“Ain’ttheyawful!Butwewon’tstayhere,“shecontinued,pluckingatRachel’sarm。“Comeuptomyroom。“
SheboreherpastHewetandEvelynandtheThornburysandtheElliots。
Hewetsteppedforward。
“Luncheon——“hebegan。
“MissVinracehaspromisedtolunchwithme,“saidMrs。Flushing,andbegantopoundenergeticallyupthestaircase,asthoughthemiddleclassesofEnglandwereinpursuit。Shedidnotstopuntilshehadslammedherbedroomdoorbehindthem。
“Well,whatdidyouthinkofit?“shedemanded,pantingslightly。
AllthedisgustandhorrorwhichRachelhadbeenaccumulatingburstforthbeyondhercontrol。
“IthoughtitthemostloathsomeexhibitionI’deverseen!“
shebrokeout。“Howcanthey——howdarethey——whatdoyoumeanbyit——
Mr。Bax,hospitalnurses,oldmen,prostitutes,disgusting——“
Shehitoffthepointssherememberedasfastasshecould,butshewastooindignanttostoptoanalyseherfeelings。Mrs。Flushingwatchedherwithkeengustoasshestoodejaculatingwithemphaticmovementsofherheadandhandsinthemiddleoftheroom。
“Goon,goon,dogoon,“shelaughed,clappingherhands。
“It’sdelightfultohearyou!“
“Butwhydoyougo?“Racheldemanded。