Everythinghesawwasdistastefultohim。Hehatedtheblueandwhite,theintensityanddefiniteness,thehumandheatofthesouth;
  thelandscapeseemedtohimashardandasromanticasacardboardbackgroundonthestage,andthemountainbutawoodenscreenagainstasheetpaintedblue。Hewalkedfastinspiteoftheheatofthesun。
  Tworoadsledoutofthetownontheeasternside;onebranchedofftowardstheAmbroses’villa,theotherstruckintothecountry,eventuallyreachingavillageontheplain,butmanyfootpaths,whichhadbeenstampedintheearthwhenitwaswet,ledofffromit,acrossgreatdryfields,toscatteredfarm-houses,andthevillasofrichnatives。Hewetsteppedofftheroadontooneofthese,inordertoavoidthehardnessandheatofthemainroad,thedustofwhichwasalwaysbeingraisedinsmallcloudsbycartsandramshackleflieswhichcarriedpartiesoffestivepeasants,orturkeysswellingunevenlylikeabundleofairballsbeneathanet,orthebrassbedsteadandblackwoodenboxesofsomenewlyweddedpair。
  Theexerciseindeedservedtoclearawaythesuperficialirritationsofthemorning,butheremainedmiserable。ItseemedprovedbeyondadoubtthatRachelwasindifferenttohim,forshehadscarcelylookedathim,andshehadtalkedtoMr。Flushingwithjustthesameinterestwithwhichshetalkedtohim。Finally,Hirst’sodiouswordsflickedhismindlikeawhip,andherememberedthathehadlefthertalkingtoHirst。Shewasatthismomenttalkingtohim,anditmightbetrue,ashesaid,thatshewasinlovewithhim。
  Hewentoveralltheevidenceforthissupposition——hersuddeninterestinHirst’swriting,herwayofquotinghisopinionsrespectfully,orwithonlyhalfalaugh;herverynicknameforhim,“thegreatMan,“
  mighthavesomeseriousmeaninginit。Supposingthattherewereanunderstandingbetweenthem,whatwoulditmeantohim?
  “Damnitall!“hedemanded,“amIinlovewithher?“Tothathecouldonlyreturnhimselfoneanswer。Hecertainlywasinlovewithher,ifheknewwhatlovemeant。Eversincehehadfirstseenherhehadbeeninterestedandattracted,moreandmoreinterestedandattracted,untilhewasscarcelyabletothinkofanythingexceptRachel。
  Butjustashewasslidingintooneofthelongfeastsofmeditationaboutthemboth,hecheckedhimselfbyaskingwhetherhewantedtomarryher?
  Thatwastherealproblem,forthesemiseriesandagoniescouldnotbeendured,anditwasnecessarythatheshouldmakeuphismind。
  Heinstantlydecidedthathedidnotwanttomarryanyone。
  PartlybecausehewasirritatedbyRacheltheideaofmarriageirritatedhim。Itimmediatelysuggestedthepictureoftwopeoplesittingaloneoverthefire;themanwasreading,thewomansewing。
  Therewasasecondpicture。Hesawamanjumpup,saygood-night,leavethecompanyandhastenawaywiththequietsecretlookofonewhoisstealingtocertainhappiness。Boththesepictureswereveryunpleasant,andevenmoresowasathirdpicture,ofhusbandandwifeandfriend;andthemarriedpeopleglancingateachotherasthoughtheywerecontenttoletsomethingpassunquestioned,beingthemselvespossessedofthedeepertruth。Otherpictures——
  hewaswalkingveryfastinhisirritation,andtheycamebeforehimwithoutanyconsciouseffort,likepicturesonasheet——
  succeededthese。Herewerethewornhusbandandwifesittingwiththeirchildrenroundthem,verypatient,tolerant,andwise。
  Butthattoo,wasanunpleasantpicture。Hetriedallsortsofpictures,takingthemfromthelivesoffriendsofhis,forheknewmanydifferentmarriedcouples;buthesawthemalways,walledupinawarmfirelitroom。When,ontheotherhand,hebegantothinkofunmarriedpeople,hesawthemactiveinanunlimitedworld;
  aboveall,standingonthesamegroundastherest,withoutshelteroradvantage。Allthemostindividualandhumaneofhisfriendswerebachelorsandspinsters;indeedhewassurprisedtofindthatthewomenhemostadmiredandknewbestwereunmarriedwomen。
  Marriageseemedtobeworseforthemthanitwasformen。
  Leavingthesegeneralpicturesheconsideredthepeoplewhomhehadbeenobservinglatelyatthehotel。Hehadoftenrevolvedthesequestionsinhismind,ashewatchedSusanandArthur,orMr。andMrs。Thornbury,orMr。andMrs。Elliot。Hehadobservedhowtheshyhappinessandsurpriseoftheengagedcouplehadgraduallybeenreplacedbyacomfortable,tolerantstateofmind,asiftheyhadalreadydonewiththeadventureofintimacyandweretakinguptheirparts。SusanusedtopursueArthuraboutwithasweater,becausehehadonedayletslipthatabrotherofhishaddiedofpneumonia。Thesightamusedhim,butwasnotpleasantifyousubstitutedTerenceandRachelforArthurandSusan;andArthurwasfarlesseagertogetyouinacornerandtalkaboutflyingandthemechanicsofaeroplanes。Theywouldsettledown。Hethenlookedatthecoupleswhohadbeenmarriedforseveralyears。ItwastruethatMrs。Thornburyhadahusband,andthatforthemostpartshewaswonderfullysuccessfulinbringinghimintotheconversation,butonecouldnotimaginewhattheysaidtoeachotherwhentheywerealone。TherewasthesamedifficultywithregardtotheElliots,exceptthattheyprobablybickeredopenlyinprivate。Theysometimesbickeredinpublic,thoughthesedisagreementswerepainfullycoveredoverbylittleinsinceritiesonthepartofthewife,whowasafraidofpublicopinion,becauseshewasmuchstupiderthanherhusband,andhadtomakeeffortstokeepholdofhim。
  Therecouldbenodoubt,hedecided,thatitwouldhavebeenfarbetterfortheworldifthesecoupleshadseparated。EventheAmbroses,whomheadmiredandrespectedprofoundly——inspiteofallthelovebetweenthem,wasnottheirmarriagetooacompromise?
  Shegavewaytohim;shespoilthim;shearrangedthingsforhim;
  shewhowasalltruthtootherswasnottruetoherhusband,wasnottruetoherfriendsiftheycameinconflictwithherhusband。
  Itwasastrangeandpiteousflawinhernature。PerhapsRachelhadbeenright,then,whenshesaidthatnightinthegarden,“Webringoutwhat’sworstineachother——weshouldliveseparate。“
  NoRachelhadbeenutterlywrong!EveryargumentseemedtobeagainstundertakingtheburdenofmarriageuntilhecametoRachel’sargument,whichwasmanifestlyabsurd。Fromhavingbeenthepursued,heturnedandbecamethepursuer。Allowingthecaseagainstmarriagetolapse,hebegantoconsiderthepeculiaritiesofcharacterwhichhadledtohersayingthat。Hadshemeantit?Surelyoneoughttoknowthecharacterofthepersonwithwhomonemightspendallone’slife;
  beinganovelist,lethimtrytodiscoverwhatsortofpersonshewas。
  Whenhewaswithherhecouldnotanalyseherqualities,becauseheseemedtoknowtheminstinctively,butwhenhewasawayfromheritsometimesseemedtohimthathedidnotknowheratall。Shewasyoung,butshewasalsoold;shehadlittleself-confidence,andyetshewasagoodjudgeofpeople。Shewashappy;butwhatmadeherhappy?
  Iftheywerealoneandtheexcitementhadwornoff,andtheyhadtodealwiththeordinaryfactsoftheday,whatwouldhappen?
  Castinghiseyeuponhisowncharacter,twothingsappearedtohim:
  thathewasveryunpunctual,andthathedislikedansweringnotes。
  AsfarasheknewRachelwasinclinedtobepunctual,buthecouldnotrememberthathehadeverseenherwithapeninherhand。
  Lethimnextimagineadinner-party,sayattheCrooms,andWilson,whohadtakenherdown,talkingaboutthestateoftheLiberalparty。
  Shewouldsay——ofcourseshewasabsolutelyignorantofpolitics。
  Neverthelessshewasintelligentcertainly,andhonesttoo。
  Hertemperwasuncertain——thathehadnoticed——andshewasnotdomestic,andshewasnoteasy,andshewasnotquiet,orbeautiful,exceptinsomedressesinsomelights。Butthegreatgiftshehadwasthatsheunderstoodwhatwassaidtoher;therehadneverbeenanyonelikeherfortalkingto。Youcouldsayanything——
  youcouldsayeverything,andyetshewasneverservile。Herehepulledhimselfup,foritseemedtohimsuddenlythatheknewlessaboutherthanaboutanyone。Allthesethoughtshadoccurredtohimmanytimesalready;oftenhadhetriedtoargueandreason;
  andagainhehadreachedtheoldstateofdoubt。Hedidnotknowher,andhedidnotknowwhatshefelt,orwhethertheycouldlivetogether,orwhetherhewantedtomarryher,andyethewasinlovewithher。
  Supposinghewenttoherandsaidheslackenedhispaceandbegantospeakaloud,asifhewerespeakingtoRachel:
  “Iworshipyou,butIloathemarriage,Ihateitssmugness,itssafety,itscompromise,andthethoughtofyouinterferinginmywork,hinderingme;whatwouldyouanswer?“
  Hestopped,leantagainstthetrunkofatree,andgazedwithoutseeingthematsomestonesscatteredonthebankofthedryriver-bed。HesawRachel’sfacedistinctly,thegreyeyes,thehair,themouth;thefacethatcouldlooksomanythings——plain,vacant,almostinsignificant,orwild,passionate,almostbeautiful,yetinhiseyeswasalwaysthesamebecauseoftheextraordinaryfreedomwithwhichshelookedathim,andspokeasshefelt。
  Whatwouldsheanswer?Whatdidshefeel?Didshelovehim,ordidshefeelnothingatallforhimorforanyotherman,being,asshehadsaidthatafternoon,free,likethewindorthesea?
  “Oh,you’refree!“heexclaimed,inexultationatthethoughtofher,“andI’dkeepyoufree。We’dbefreetogether。
  We’dshareeverythingtogether。Nohappinesswouldbelikeours。
  Noliveswouldcomparewithours。“Heopenedhisarmswideasiftoholdherandtheworldinoneembrace。
  Nolongerabletoconsidermarriage,ortoweighcoollywhathernaturewas,orhowitwouldbeiftheylivedtogether,hedroppedtothegroundandsatabsorbedinthethoughtofher,andsoontormentedbythedesiretobeinherpresenceagain。
  ButHewetneednothaveincreasedhistormentsbyimaginingthatHirstwasstilltalkingtoRachel。Thepartyverysoonbrokeup,theFlushingsgoinginonedirection,Hirstinanother,andRachelremaininginthehall,pullingtheillustratedpapersabout,turningfromonetoanother,hermovementsexpressingtheunformedrestlessdesireinhermind。Shedidnotknowwhethertogoortostay,thoughMrs。Flushinghadcommandedhertoappearattea。
  Thehallwasempty,saveforMissWillettwhowasplayingscaleswithherfingersuponasheetofsacredmusic,andtheCarters,anopulentcouplewhodislikedthegirl,becausehershoelaceswereuntied,andshedidnotlooksufficientlycheery,whichbysomeindirectprocessofthoughtledthemtothinkthatshewouldnotlikethem。
  Rachelcertainlywouldnothavelikedthem,ifshehadseenthem,fortheexcellentreasonthatMr。Carterwaxedhismoustache,andMrs。Carterworebracelets,andtheywereevidentlythekindofpeoplewhowouldnotlikeher;butshewastoomuchabsorbedbyherownrestlessnesstothinkortolook。
  ShewasturningovertheslipperypagesofanAmericanmagazine,whenthehalldoorswung,awedgeoflightfelluponthefloor,andasmallwhitefigureuponwhomthelightseemedfocussed,madestraightacrosstheroomtoher。
  “What!Youhere?“Evelynexclaimed。“Justcaughtaglimpseofyouatlunch;butyouwouldn’tcondescendtolookat_me_。“
  ItwaspartofEvelyn’scharacterthatinspiteofmanysnubswhichshereceivedorimagined,shenevergaveupthepursuitofpeopleshewantedtoknow,andinthelongrungenerallysucceededinknowingthemandeveninmakingthemlikeher。
  Shelookedroundher。“Ihatethisplace。Ihatethesepeople,“
  shesaid。“Iwishyou’dcomeuptomyroomwithme。Idowanttotalktoyou。“
  AsRachelhadnowishtogoortostay,Evelyntookherbythewristanddrewheroutofthehallandupthestairs。Astheywentupstairstwostepsatatime,Evelyn,whostillkeptholdofRachel’shand,ejaculatedbrokensentencesaboutnotcaringahangwhatpeoplesaid。
  “Whyshouldone,ifoneknowsone’sright?Andlet’emallgotoblazes!Them’smyopinions!“