“Andtheloneliness!“hecontinued。AvisionofwalkingwithherthroughthestreetsofLondoncamebeforehiseyes。“Wewillgoforwalkstogether,“hesaid。Thesimplicityoftheidearelievedthem,andforthefirsttimetheylaughed。Theywouldhavelikedhadtheydaredtotakeeachotherbythehand,buttheconsciousnessofeyesfixedonthemfrombehindhadnotyetdesertedthem。
“Books,people,sights——Mrs。Nutt,Greeley,Hutchinson,“Hewetmurmured。
Witheverywordthemistwhichhadenvelopedthem,makingthemseemunrealtoeachother,sincethepreviousafternoonmeltedalittlefurther,andtheircontactbecamemoreandmorenatural。
UpthroughthesultrysouthernlandscapetheysawtheworldtheyknewappearclearerandmorevividlythanithadeverappearedbeforeAsuponthatoccasionatthehotelwhenshehadsatinthewindow,theworldoncemorearrangeditselfbeneathhergazeveryvividlyandinitstrueproportions。SheglancedcuriouslyatTerencefromtimetotime,observinghisgreycoatandhispurpletie;
observingthemanwithwhomshewastospendtherestofherlife。
Afteroneoftheseglancesshemurmured,“Yes,I’minlove。
There’snodoubt;I’minlovewithyou。“
Nevertheless,theyremaineduncomfortablyapart;drawnsoclosetogether,asshespoke,thatthereseemednodivisionbetweenthem,andthenextmomentseparateandfarawayagain。
Feelingthispainfully,sheexclaimed,“Itwillbeafight。“
Butasshelookedathimsheperceivedfromtheshapeofhiseyes,thelinesabouthismouth,andotherpeculiaritiesthathepleasedher,andsheadded:
“WhereIwanttofight,youhavecompassion。You’refinerthanIam;
you’remuchfiner。“
Hereturnedherglanceandsmiled,perceiving,muchasshehaddone,theverysmallindividualthingsaboutherwhichmadeherdelightfultohim。Shewashisforever。Thisbarrierbeingsurmounted,innumerabledelightslaybeforethemboth。
“I’mnotfiner,“heanswered。“I’monlyolder,lazier;aman,notawoman。“
“Aman,“sherepeated,andacurioussenseofpossessioncomingoverher,itstruckherthatshemightnowtouchhim;sheputoutherhandandlightlytouchedhischeek。Hisfingersfollowedwherehershadbeen,andthetouchofhishanduponhisfacebroughtbacktheoverpoweringsenseofunreality。Thisbodyofhiswasunreal;
thewholeworldwasunreal。
“What’shappened?“hebegan。“WhydidIaskyoutomarryme?
Howdidithappen?“
“Didyouaskmetomarryyou?“shewondered。Theyfadedfarawayfromeachother,andneitherofthemcouldrememberwhathadbeensaid。
“Wesatupontheground,“herecollected。
“Wesatupontheground,“sheconfirmedhim。Therecollectionofsittingupontheground,suchasitwas,seemedtounitethemagain,andtheywalkedoninsilence,theirmindssometimesworkingwithdifficultyandsometimesceasingtowork,theireyesaloneperceivingthethingsroundthem。Nowhewouldattemptagaintotellherhisfaults,andwhyhelovedher;andshewoulddescribewhatshehadfeltatthistimeoratthattime,andtogethertheywouldinterpretherfeeling。
Sobeautifulwasthesoundoftheirvoicesthatbydegreestheyscarcelylistenedtothewordstheyframed。Longsilencescamebetweentheirwords,whichwerenolongersilencesofstruggleandconfusionbutrefreshingsilences,inwhichtrivialthoughtsmovedeasily。
Theybegantospeaknaturallyofordinarythings,oftheflowersandthetrees,howtheygrewtheresored,likegardenflowersathome,andtherebentandcrookedlikethearmofatwistedoldman。
Verygentlyandquietly,almostasifitwerethebloodsinginginherveins,orthewaterofthestreamrunningoverstones,Rachelbecameconsciousofanewfeelingwithinher。Shewonderedforamomentwhatitwas,andthensaidtoherself,withalittlesurpriseatrecognisinginherownpersonsofamousathing:
“Thisishappiness,Isuppose。“AndaloudtoTerenceshespoke,“Thisishappiness。“
Ontheheelsofherwordsheanswered,“Thisishappiness,“
uponwhichtheyguessedthatthefeelinghadsprunginbothofthemthesametime。Theybeganthereforetodescribehowthisfeltandthatfelt,howlikeitwasandyethowdifferent;fortheywereverydifferent。
Voicescryingbehindthemneverreachedthroughthewatersinwhichtheywerenowsunk。TherepetitionofHewet’snameinshort,disseveredsyllableswastothemthecrackofadrybranchorthelaughterofabird。Thegrassesandbreezessoundingandmurmuringallroundthem,theynevernoticedthattheswishingofthegrassesgrewlouderandlouder,anddidnotceasewiththelapseofthebreeze。AhanddroppedabruptasirononRachel’sshoulder;
itmighthavebeenaboltfromheaven。Shefellbeneathit,andthegrasswhippedacrosshereyesandfilledhermouthandears。
Throughthewavingstemsshesawafigure,largeandshapelessagainstthesky。Helenwasuponher。Rolledthiswayandthat,nowseeingonlyforestsofgreen,andnowthehighblueheaven;
shewasspeechlessandalmostwithoutsense。Atlastshelaystill,allthegrassesshakenroundherandbeforeherbyherpanting。
Overherloomedtwogreatheads,theheadsofamanandwoman,ofTerenceandHelen。
Bothwereflushed,bothlaughing,andthelipsweremoving;
theycametogetherandkissedintheairaboveher。Brokenfragmentsofspeechcamedowntoherontheground。Shethoughtsheheardthemspeakofloveandthenofmarriage。Raisingherselfandsittingup,shetoorealisedHelen’ssoftbody,thestrongandhospitablearms,andhappinessswellingandbreakinginonevastwave。Whenthisfellaway,andthegrassesoncemorelaylow,andtheskybecamehorizontal,andtheearthrolledoutflatoneachside,andthetreesstoodupright,shewasthefirsttoperceivealittlerowofhumanfiguresstandingpatientlyinthedistance。
Forthemomentshecouldnotrememberwhotheywere。
“Whoarethey?“sheasked,andthenrecollected。
FallingintolinebehindMr。Flushing,theywerecarefultoleaveatleastthreeyards’distancebetweenthetoeofhisbootandtherimofherskirt。
Heledthemacrossastretchofgreenbytheriver-bankandthenthroughagroveoftrees,andbadethemremarkthesignsofhumanhabitation,theblackenedgrass,thecharredtree-stumps,andthere,throughthetrees,strangewoodennests,drawntogetherinanarchwherethetreesdrewapart,thevillagewhichwasthegoaloftheirjourney。
Steppingcautiously,theyobservedthewomen,whoweresquattingonthegroundintriangularshapes,movingtheirhands,eitherplaitingstraworinkneadingsomethinginbowls。Butwhentheyhadlookedforamomentundiscovered,theywereseen,andMr。Flushing,advancingintothecentreoftheclearing,wasengagedintalkwithaleanmajesticman,whosebonesandhollowsatoncemadetheshapesoftheEnglishman’sbodyappearuglyandunnatural。
Thewomentooknonoticeofthestrangers,exceptthattheirhandspausedforamomentandtheirlongnarroweyesslidroundandfixeduponthemwiththemotionlessinexpensivegazeofthoseremovedfromeachotherfarfarbeyondtheplungeofspeech。Theirhandsmovedagain,butthestarecontinued。Itfollowedthemastheywalked,astheypeeredintothehutswheretheycoulddistinguishgunsleaninginthecorner,andbowlsuponthefloor,andstacksofrushes;
intheduskthesolemneyesofbabiesregardedthem,andoldwomenstaredouttoo。Astheysaunteredabout,thestarefollowedthem,passingovertheirlegs,theirbodies,theirheads,curiouslynotwithouthostility,likethecrawlofawinterfly。Asshedrewaparthershawlanduncoveredherbreasttothelipsofherbaby,theeyesofawomanneverlefttheirfaces,althoughtheymoveduneasilyunderherstare,andfinallyturnedaway,ratherthanstandtherelookingatheranylonger。Whensweetmeatswereofferedthem,theyputoutgreatredhandstotakethem,andfeltthemselvestreadingcumbrouslyliketight-coatedsoldiersamongthesesoftinstinctivepeople。Butsoonthelifeofthevillagetooknonoticeofthem;theyhadbecomeabsorbedinit。Thewomen’shandsbecamebusyagainwiththestraw;theireyesdropped。Iftheymoved,itwastofetchsomethingfromthehut,ortocatchastrayingchild,ortocrossthespacewithajarbalancedontheirheads;
iftheyspoke,itwastocrysomeharshunintelligiblecry。
Voicesrosewhenachildwasbeaten,andfellagain;voicesroseinsong,whichslidupalittlewayanddownalittleway,andsettledagainuponthesamelowandmelancholynote。
Seekingeachother,TerenceandRacheldrewtogetherunderatree。
Peaceful,andevenbeautifulatfirst,thesightofthewomen,whohadgivenuplookingatthem,madethemnowfeelverycoldandmelancholy。
“Well,“Terencesighedatlength,“itmakesusseeminsignificant,doesn’tit?“
Rachelagreed。Soitwouldgoonforeverandever,shesaid,thosewomensittingunderthetrees,thetreesandtheriver。
Theyturnedawayandbegantowalkthroughthetrees,leaning,withoutfearofdiscovery,uponeachother’sarms。Theyhadnotgonefarbeforetheybegantoassureeachotheroncemorethattheywereinlove,werehappy,werecontent;butwhywasitsopainfulbeinginlove,whywastheresomuchpaininhappiness?
Thesightofthevillageindeedaffectedthemallcuriouslythoughalldifferently。St。Johnhadlefttheothersandwaswalkingslowlydowntotheriver,absorbedinhisownthoughts,whichwerebitterandunhappy,forhefelthimselfalone;andHelen,standingbyherselfinthesunnyspaceamongthenativewomen,wasexposedtopresentimentsofdisaster。Thecriesofthesenselessbeastsranginherearshighandlowintheair,astheyranfromtree-trunktotree-top。
Howsmallthelittlefigureslookedwanderingthroughthetrees!
Shebecameacutelyconsciousofthelittlelimbs,thethinveins,thedelicatefleshofmenandwomen,whichbreakssoeasilyandletsthelifeescapecomparedwiththesegreattreesanddeepwaters。
Afallingbranch,afootthatslips,andtheearthhascrushedthemorthewaterdrownedthem。Thusthinking,shekepthereyesanxiouslyfixeduponthelovers,asifbydoingsoshecouldprotectthemfromtheirfate。Turning,shefoundtheFlushingsbyherside。
Theyweretalkingaboutthethingstheyhadboughtandarguingwhethertheywerereallyold,andwhethertherewerenotsignshereandthereofEuropeaninfluence。Helenwasappealedto。
Shewasmadetolookatabrooch,andthenatapairofear-rings。
Butallthetimesheblamedthemforhavingcomeonthisexpedition,forhavingventuredtoofarandexposedthemselves。Thensherousedherselfandtriedtotalk,butinafewmomentsshecaughtherselfseeingapictureofaboatupsetontheriverinEngland,atmidday。
Itwasmorbid,sheknew,toimaginesuchthings;neverthelessshesoughtoutthefiguresoftheothersbetweenthetrees,andwhenevershesawthemshekepthereyesfixedonthem,sothatshemightbeabletoprotectthemfromdisaster。
Butwhenthesunwentdownandthesteamerturnedandbegantosteambacktowardscivilisation,againherfearswerecalmed。
Inthesemi-darknessthechairsondeckandthepeoplesittinginthemwereangularshapes,themouthbeingindicatedbyatinyburningspot,andthearmbythesamespotmovingupordownasthecigarorcigarettewasliftedtoandfromthelips。Wordscrossedthedarkness,but,notknowingwheretheyfell,seemedtolackenergyandsubstance。Deepsightsproceededregularly,althoughwithsomeattemptatsuppression,fromthelargewhitemoundwhichrepresentedthepersonofMrs。Flushing。Thedayhadbeenlongandveryhot,andnowthatallthecolourswereblottedoutthecoolnightairseemedtopresssoftfingersupontheeyelids,sealingthemdown。
Somephilosophicalremarkdirected,apparently,atSt。JohnHirstmisseditsaim,andhungsolongsuspendedintheairuntilitwasengulfedbyayawn,thatitwasconsidereddead,andthisgavethesignalforstirringoflegsandmurmursaboutsleep。
Thewhitemoundmoved,finallylengtheneditselfanddisappeared,andafterafewturnsandpacesSt。JohnandMr。Flushingwithdrew,leavingthethreechairsstilloccupiedbythreesilentbodies。
Thelightwhichcamefromalamphighonthemastandaskypalewithstarsleftthemwithshapesbutwithoutfeatures;buteveninthisdarknessthewithdrawaloftheothersmadethemfeeleachotherverynear,fortheywereallthinkingofthesamething。
Forsometimenoonespoke,thenHelensaidwithasigh,“Soyou’rebothveryhappy?“