“Ofcourse，“hesaidwithashrugofhisshoulders，whenTerenceaskedhim，“Issheveryill？“
　　TheywerebothconsciousofacertainsenseofreliefwhenDr。Lesagewasgone，leavingexplicitdirections，andpromisinganothervisitinafewhours’time；but，unfortunately，theriseoftheirspiritsledthemtotalkmorethanusual，andintalkingtheyquarrelled。
　　Theyquarrelledaboutaroad，thePortsmouthRoad。St。JohnsaidthatitismacadamisedwhereitpassesHindhead，andTerenceknewaswellasheknewhisownnamethatitisnotmacadamisedatthatpoint。
　　Inthecourseoftheargumenttheysaidsomeverysharpthingstoeachother，andtherestofthedinnerwaseateninsilence，saveforanoccasionalhalf-stifledreflectionfromRidley。
　　Whenitgrewdarkandthelampswerebroughtin，Terencefeltunabletocontrolhisirritationanylonger。St。Johnwenttobedinastateofcompleteexhaustion，biddingTerencegood-nightwithrathermoreaffectionthanusualbecauseoftheirquarrel，andRidleyretiredtohisbooks。Leftalone，Terencewalkedupanddowntheroom；hestoodattheopenwindow。
　　Thelightswerecomingoutoneafteranotherinthetownbeneath，anditwasverypeacefulandcoolinthegarden，sothathesteppedoutontotheterrace。Ashestoodthereinthedarkness，ableonlytoseetheshapesoftreesthroughthefinegreylight，hewasovercomebyadesiretoescape，tohavedonewiththissuffering，toforgetthatRachelwasill。Heallowedhimselftolapseintoforgetfulnessofeverything。Asifawindthathadbeenragingincessantlysuddenlyfellasleep，thefretandstrainandanxietywhichhadbeenpressingonhimpassedaway。Heseemedtostandinanunvexedspaceofair，onalittleislandbyhimself；hewasfreeandimmunefrompain。
　　ItdidnotmatterwhetherRachelwaswellorill；itdidnotmatterwhethertheywereapartortogether；nothingmattered——nothingmattered。
　　Thewavesbeatontheshorefaraway，andthesoftwindpassedthroughthebranchesofthetrees，seemingtoencirclehimwithpeaceandsecurity，withdarkandnothingness。Surelytheworldofstrifeandfretandanxietywasnottherealworld，butthiswastherealworld，theworldthatlaybeneaththesuperficialworld，sothat，whateverhappened，onewassecure。Thequietandpeaceseemedtolaphisbodyinafinecoolsheet，soothingeverynerve；
　　hismindseemedoncemoretoexpand，andbecomenatural。
　　Butwhenhehadstoodthusforatimeanoiseinthehouserousedhim；
　　heturnedinstinctivelyandwentintothedrawing-room。Thesightofthelamp-litroombroughtbacksoabruptlyallthathehadforgottenthathestoodforamomentunabletomove。
　　Herememberedeverything，thehour，theminuteeven，whatpointtheyhadreached，andwhatwastocome。Hecursedhimselfformakingbelieveforaminutethatthingsweredifferentfromwhattheyare。
　　Thenightwasnowhardertofacethanever。
　　Unabletostayintheemptydrawing-room，hewanderedoutandsatonthestairshalf-wayuptoRachel’sroom。Helongedforsomeonetotalkto，butHirstwasasleep，andRidleywasasleep；
　　therewasnosoundinRachel’sroom。TheonlysoundinthehousewasthesoundofChaileymovinginthekitchen。Atlasttherewasarustlingonthestairsoverhead，andNurseMcInniscamedownfasteningthelinksinhercuffs，inpreparationforthenight’swatch。
　　Terenceroseandstoppedher。Hehadscarcelyspokentoher，butitwaspossiblethatshemightconfirmhiminthebeliefwhichstillpersistedinhisownmindthatRachelwasnotseriouslyill。
　　HetoldherinawhisperthatDr。Lesagehadbeenandwhathehadsaid。
　　“Now，Nurse，“hewhispered，“pleasetellmeyouropinion。Doyouconsiderthatsheisveryseriouslyill？Issheinanydanger？“
　　“Thedoctorhassaid——“shebegan。
　　“Yes，butIwantyouropinion。Youhavehadexperienceofmanycaseslikethis？“
　　“IcouldnottellyoumorethanDr。Lesage，Mr。Hewet，“sherepliedcautiously，asthoughherwordsmightbeusedagainsther。“Thecaseisserious，butyoumayfeelquitecertainthatwearedoingallwecanforMissVinrace。“Shespokewithsomeprofessionalself-approbation。
　　Butsherealisedperhapsthatshedidnotsatisfytheyoungman，whostillblockedherway，forsheshiftedherfeetslightlyuponthestairandlookedoutofthewindowwheretheycouldseethemoonoverthesea。
　　“Ifyouaskme，“shebeganinacuriouslystealthytone，“IneverlikeMayformypatients。“
　　“May？“Terencerepeated。
　　“Itmaybeafancy，butIdon’tliketoseeanybodyfallillinMay，“
　　shecontinued。“ThingsseemtogowronginMay。Perhapsit’sthemoon。
　　Theysaythemoonaffectsthebrain，don’tthey，Sir？“
　　Helookedatherbuthecouldnotanswerher；likealltheothers，whenonelookedathersheseemedtoshrivelbeneathone’seyesandbecomeworthless，malicious，anduntrustworthy。
　　Sheslippedpasthimanddisappeared。
　　Thoughhewenttohisroomhewasunableeventotakehisclothesoff。
　　Foralongtimehepacedupanddown，andthenleaningoutofthewindowgazedattheearthwhichlaysodarkagainstthepalerblueofthesky。Withamixtureoffearandloathinghelookedattheslimblackcypresstreeswhichwerestillvisibleinthegarden，andheardtheunfamiliarcreakingandgratingsoundswhichshowthattheearthisstillhot。Allthesesightsandsoundsappearedsinisterandfullofhostilityandforeboding；togetherwiththenativesandthenurseandthedoctorandtheterribleforceoftheillnessitselftheyseemedtobeinconspiracyagainsthim。
　　Theyseemedtojointogetherintheirefforttoextractthegreatestpossibleamountofsufferingfromhim。Hecouldnotgetusedtohispain，itwasarevelationtohim。Hehadneverrealisedbeforethatunderneatheveryaction，underneaththelifeofeveryday，painlies，quiescent，butreadytodevour；heseemedtobeabletoseesuffering，asifitwereafire，curlingupovertheedgesofallaction，eatingawaythelivesofmenandwomen。Hethoughtforthefirsttimewithunderstandingofwordswhichhadbeforeseemedtohimempty:thestruggleoflife；thehardnessoflife。
　　Nowheknewforhimselfthatlifeishardandfullofsuffering。
　　Helookedatthescatteredlightsinthetownbeneath，andthoughtofArthurandSusan，orEvelynandPerrottventuringoutunwittingly，andbytheirhappinesslayingthemselvesopentosufferingsuchasthis。Howdidtheydaretoloveeachother，hewondered；howhadhehimselfdaredtoliveashehadlived，rapidlyandcarelessly，passingfromonethingtoanother，lovingRachelashehadlovedher？
　　Neveragainwouldhefeelsecure；hewouldneverbelieveinthestabilityoflife，orforgetwhatdepthsofpainliebeneathsmallhappinessandfeelingsofcontentandsafety。Itseemedtohimashelookedbackthattheirhappinesshadneverbeensogreatashispainwasnow。
　　Therehadalwaysbeensomethingimperfectintheirhappiness，somethingtheyhadwantedandhadnotbeenabletoget。Ithadbeenfragmentaryandincomplete，becausetheyweresoyoungandhadnotknownwhattheyweredoing。
　　Thelightofhiscandleflickeredovertheboughsofatreeoutsidethewindow，andasthebranchswayedinthedarknesstherecamebeforehismindapictureofalltheworldthatlayoutsidehiswindow；hethoughtoftheimmenseriverandtheimmenseforest，thevaststretchesofdryearthandtheplainsoftheseathatencircledtheearth；fromtheseatheskyrosesteepandenormous，andtheairwashedprofoundlybetweentheskyandthesea。
　　Howvastanddarkitmustbetonight，lyingexposedtothewind；
　　andinallthisgreatspaceitwascurioustothinkhowfewthetownswere，andhowsmalllittleringsoflight，orsingleglow-wormshefiguredthem，scatteredhereandthere，amongtheswellinguncultivatedfoldsoftheworld。Andinthosetownswerelittlemenandwomen，tinymenandwomen。Oh，itwasabsurd，whenonethoughtofit，tosithereinalittleroomsufferingandcaring。Whatdidanythingmatter？Rachel，atinycreature，layillbeneathhim，andhereinhislittleroomhesufferedonheraccount。Thenearnessoftheirbodiesinthisvastuniverse，andtheminutenessoftheirbodies，seemedtohimabsurdandlaughable。
　　Nothingmattered，herepeated；theyhadnopower，nohope。
　　Heleantonthewindow-sill，thinking，untilhealmostforgotthetimeandtheplace。Nevertheless，althoughhewasconvincedthatitwasabsurdandlaughable，andthattheyweresmallandhopeless，heneverlostthesensethatthesethoughtssomehowformedpartofalifewhichheandRachelwouldlivetogether。
　　Owingperhapstothechangeofdoctor，Rachelappearedtoberatherbetternextday。TerriblypaleandwornthoughHelenlooked，therewasaslightliftingofthecloudwhichhadhungallthesedaysinhereyes。
　　“Shetalkedtome，“shesaidvoluntarily。“Sheaskedmewhatdayoftheweekitwas，likeherself。“
　　Thensuddenly，withoutanywarningoranyapparentreason，thetearsformedinhereyesandrolledsteadilydownhercheeks。
　　Shecriedwithscarcelyanyattemptatmovementofherfeatures，andwithoutanyattempttostopherself，asifshedidnotknowthatshewascrying。Inspiteofthereliefwhichherwordsgavehim，Terencewasdismayedbythesight；hadeverythinggivenway？Weretherenolimitstothepowerofthisillness？
　　Wouldeverythinggodownbeforeit？Helenhadalwaysseemedtohimstronganddetermined，andnowshewaslikeachild。
　　Hetookherinhisarms，andsheclungtohimlikeachild，cryingsoftlyandquietlyuponhisshoulder。Thensherousedherselfandwipedhertearsaway；itwassillytobehavelikethat，shesaid；
　　verysilly，sherepeated，whentherecouldbenodoubtthatRachelwasbetter。SheaskedTerencetoforgiveherforherfolly。
　　Shestoppedatthedoorandcamebackandkissedhimwithoutsayinganything。
　　OnthisdayindeedRachelwasconsciousofwhatwentonroundher。
　　Shehadcometothesurfaceofthedark，stickypool，andawaveseemedtobearherupanddownwithit；shehadceasedtohaveanywillofherown；shelayonthetopofthewaveconsciousofsomepain，butchieflyofweakness。Thewavewasreplacedbythesideofamountain。Herbodybecameadriftofmeltingsnow，abovewhichherkneesroseinhugepeakedmountainsofbarebone。
　　ItwastruethatshesawHelenandsawherroom，buteverythinghadbecomeverypaleandsemi-transparent。Sometimesshecouldseethroughthewallinfrontofher。SometimeswhenHelenwentawaysheseemedtogosofarthatRachel’seyescouldhardlyfollowher。
　　Theroomalsohadanoddpowerofexpanding，andthoughshepushedhervoiceoutasfaraspossibleuntilsometimesitbecameabirdandflewaway，shethoughtitdoubtfulwhetheriteverreachedthepersonshewastalkingto。Therewereimmenseintervalsorchasms，forthingsstillhadthepowertoappearvisiblybeforeher，betweenonemomentandthenext；itsometimestookanhourforHelentoraiseherarm，pausinglongbetweeneachjerkymovement，andpouroutmedicine。Helen’sformstoopingtoraiseherinbedappearedofgiganticsize，andcamedownuponherliketheceilingfalling。
　　Butforlongspacesoftimeshewouldmerelylieconsciousofherbodyfloatingonthetopofthebedandherminddriventosomeremotecornerofherbody，orescapedandgoneflittingroundtheroom。
　　Allsightsweresomethingofaneffort，butthesightofTerencewasthegreatesteffort，becauseheforcedhertojoinmindtobodyinthedesiretoremembersomething。Shedidnotwishtoremember；
　　ittroubledherwhenpeopletriedtodisturbherloneliness；
　　shewishedtobealone。Shewishedfornothingelseintheworld。
　　Althoughshehadcried，TerenceobservedHelen’sgreaterhopefulnesswithsomethingliketriumph；intheargumentbetweenthemshehadmadethefirstsignofadmittingherselfinthewrong。HewaitedforDr。Lesagetocomedownthatafternoonwithconsiderableanxiety，butwiththesamecertaintyatthebackofhismindthathewouldintimeforcethemalltoadmitthattheywereinthewrong。
　　Asusual，Dr。Lesagewassulkyinhismannerandveryshortinhisanswers。ToTerence’sdemand，“Sheseemstobebetter？“
　　hereplied，lookingathiminanoddway，“Shehasachanceoflife。“
　　ThedoorshutandTerencewalkedacrosstothewindow。Heleanthisforeheadagainstthepane。
　　“Rachel，“herepeatedtohimself。“Shehasachanceoflife。Rachel。“
　　HowcouldtheysaythesethingsofRachel？HadanyoneyesterdayseriouslybelievedthatRachelwasdying？Theyhadbeenengagedforfourweeks。Afortnightagoshehadbeenperfectlywell。