Tellmewhy?“
“She’sso——so——well,solikeatightplait,“Rachelfloundered。
“Ah——Iseewhatyoumean。ButIdon’tagree。Andyouwon’twhenyou’reolder。AtyourageIonlylikedShelley。Icanremembersobbingoverhiminthegarden。
Hehasoutsoaredtheshadowofournight,Envyandcalumnyandhateandpain——youremember?
CantouchhimnotandtorturenotagainFromthecontagionoftheworld’sslowstain。
Howdivine!——andyetwhatnonsense!“Shelookedlightlyroundtheroom。
“Ialwaysthinkit’s_living_,notdying,thatcounts。Ireallyrespectsomesnuffyoldstockbrokerwho’sgoneonaddingupcolumnaftercolumnallhisdays,andtrottingbacktohisvillaatBrixtonwithsomeoldpugdogheworships,andadrearylittlewifesittingattheendofthetable,andgoingofftoMargateforafortnight——
IassureyouIknowheapslikethat——well,theyseemtome_really_
noblerthanpoetswhomeveryoneworships,justbecausethey’regeniusesanddieyoung。ButIdon’texpect_you_toagreewithme!“
ShepressedRachel’sshoulder。
“Um-m-m——“shewentonquoting——
Unrestwhichmenmiscalldelight——
“whenyou’remyageyou’llseethattheworldis_crammed_withdelightfulthings。Ithinkyoungpeoplemakesuchamistakeaboutthat——
notlettingthemselvesbehappy。Isometimesthinkthathappinessistheonlythingthatcounts。Idon’tknowyouwellenoughtosay,butIshouldguessyoumightbealittleinclinedto——whenone’syoungandattractive——I’mgoingtosayit!——_every_thing’satone’sfeet。“
Sheglancedroundasmuchastosay,“notonlyafewstuffybooksandBach。“
“Ilongtoaskquestions,“shecontinued。“Youinterestmesomuch。
IfI’mimpertinent,youmustjustboxmyears。“
“AndI——Iwanttoaskquestions,“saidRachelwithsuchearnestnessthatMrs。Dallowayhadtocheckhersmile。
“D’youmindifwewalk?“shesaid。“Theair’ssodelicious。“
Shesnuffeditlikearacehorseastheyshutthedoorandstoodondeck。
“Isn’titgoodtobealive?“sheexclaimed,anddrewRachel’sarmwithinhers。
“Look,look!Howexquisite!“
TheshoresofPortugalwerebeginningtolosetheirsubstance;
butthelandwasstilltheland,thoughatagreatdistance。
Theycoulddistinguishthelittletownsthatweresprinkledinthefoldsofthehills,andthesmokerisingfaintly。Thetownsappearedtobeverysmallincomparisonwiththegreatpurplemountainsbehindthem。
“Honestly,though,“saidClarissa,havinglooked,“Idon’tlikeviews。
They’retooinhuman。“Theywalkedon。
“Howodditis!“shecontinuedimpulsively。“Thistimeyesterdaywe’dnevermet。Iwaspackinginastuffylittleroominthehotel。
Weknowabsolutelynothingabouteachother——andyet——IfeelasifI
_did_knowyou!“
“Youhavechildren——yourhusbandwasinParliament?“
“You’veneverbeentoschool,andyoulive——?“
“WithmyauntsatRichmond。“
“Richmond?“
“Yousee,myauntslikethePark。Theylikethequiet。“
“Andyoudon’t!Iunderstand!“Clarissalaughed。
“IlikewalkingintheParkalone;butnot——withthedogs,“
shefinished。
“No;andsomepeople_are_dogs;aren’tthey?“saidClarissa,asifshehadguessedasecret。“Butnoteveryone——ohno,noteveryone。“
“Noteveryone,“saidRachel,andstopped。
“Icanquiteimagineyouwalkingalone,“saidClarissa:“andthinking——
inalittleworldofyourown。Buthowyouwillenjoyit——
someday!“
“Ishallenjoywalkingwithaman——isthatwhatyoumean?“saidRachel,regardingMrs。Dallowaywithherlargeenquiringeyes。
“Iwasn’tthinkingofamanparticularly,“saidClarissa。
“Butyouwill。“
“No。Ishallnevermarry,“Racheldetermined。
“Ishouldn’tbesosureofthat,“saidClarissa。HersidelongglancetoldRachelthatshefoundherattractivealthoughshewasinexplicablyamused。
“Whydopeoplemarry?“Rachelasked。
“That’swhatyou’regoingtofindout,“Clarissalaughed。
Rachelfollowedhereyesandfoundthattheyrestedforasecond,ontherobustfigureofRichardDalloway,whowasengagedinstrikingamatchonthesoleofhisboot;whileWilloughbyexpoundedsomething,whichseemedtobeofgreatinteresttothemboth。
“There’snothinglikeit,“sheconcluded。“DotellmeabouttheAmbroses。OramIaskingtoomanyquestions?“
“Ifindyoueasytotalkto,“saidRachel。
TheshortsketchoftheAmbroseswas,however,somewhatperfunctory,andcontainedlittlebutthefactthatMr。Ambrosewasheruncle。
“Yourmother’sbrother?“
Whenanamehasdroppedoutofuse,thelightesttouchuponittells。
Mrs。Dallowaywenton:
“Areyoulikeyourmother?“
“No;shewasdifferent,“saidRachel。
ShewasovercomebyanintensedesiretotellMrs。Dallowaythingsshehadnevertoldanyone——thingsshehadnotrealisedherselfuntilthismoment。
“Iamlonely,“shebegan。“Iwant——“Shedidnotknowwhatshewanted,sothatshecouldnotfinishthesentence;butherlipquivered。
ButitseemedthatMrs。Dallowaywasabletounderstandwithoutwords。
“Iknow,“shesaid,actuallyputtingonearmroundRachel’sshoulder。
“WhenIwasyourageIwantedtoo。NooneunderstooduntilI
metRichard。HegavemeallIwanted。He’smanandwomanaswell。“
HereyesresteduponMr。Dalloway,leaningupontherail,stilltalking。“Don’tthinkIsaythatbecauseI’mhiswife——
IseehisfaultsmoreclearlythanIseeanyoneelse’s。Whatonewantsinthepersononeliveswithisthattheyshouldkeeponeatone’sbest。IoftenwonderwhatI’vedonetobesohappy!“
sheexclaimed,andatearsliddownhercheek。Shewipeditaway,squeezedRachel’shand,andexclaimed:
“Howgoodlifeis!“Atthatmoment,standingoutinthefreshbreeze,withthesunuponthewaves,andMrs。Dalloway’shanduponherarm,itseemedindeedasiflifewhichhadbeenunnamedbeforewasinfinitelywonderful,andtoogoodtobetrue。
HereHelenpassedthem,andseeingRachelarm-in-armwithacomparativestranger,lookingexcited,wasamused,butatthesametimeslightlyirritated。ButtheywereimmediatelyjoinedbyRichard,whohadenjoyedaveryinterestingtalkwithWilloughbyandwasinasociablemood。
“ObservemyPanama,“hesaid,touchingthebrimofhishat。
“Areyouaware,MissVinrace,howmuchcanbedonetoinducefineweatherbyappropriateheaddress?Ihavedeterminedthatitisahotsummerday;Iwarnyouthatnothingyoucansaywillshakeme。
ThereforeIamgoingtositdown。Iadviseyoutofollowmyexample。“
Threechairsinarowinvitedthemtobeseated。
Leaningback,Richardsurveyedthewaves。
“That’saveryprettyblue,“hesaid。“Butthere’salittletoomuchofit。Varietyisessentialtoaview。Thus,ifyouhavehillsyououghttohaveariver;ifariver,hills。ThebestviewintheworldinmyopinionisthatfromBoarsHillonafineday——
itmustbeafineday,markyou——Arug?——Oh,thankyou,mydear……inthatcaseyouhavealsotheadvantageofassociations——
thePast。“
“D’youwanttotalk,Dick,orshallIreadaloud?“
Clarissahadfetchedabookwiththerugs。
“_Persuasion_,“announcedRichard,examiningthevolume。
“That’sforMissVinrace,“saidClarissa。“Shecan’tbearourbelovedJane。“
“That——ifImaysayso——isbecauseyouhavenotreadher,“saidRichard。
“Sheisincomparablythegreatestfemalewriterwepossess。“
“Sheisthegreatest,“hecontinued,“andforthisreason:
shedoesnotattempttowritelikeaman。Everyotherwomandoes;
onthataccount,Idon’tread’em。“
“Produceyourinstances,MissVinrace,“hewenton,joininghisfinger-tips。“I’mreadytobeconverted。“
Hewaited,whileRachelvainlytriedtovindicatehersexfromtheslightheputuponit。
“I’mafraidhe’sright,“saidClarissa。“Hegenerallyis——
thewretch!“
“Ibrought_Persuasion_,“shewenton,“becauseIthoughtitwasalittlelessthreadbarethantheothers——though,Dick,it’snogood_your_pretendingtoknowJanebyheart,consideringthatshealwayssendsyoutosleep!“
“Afterthelaboursoflegislation,Ideservesleep,“saidRichard。
“You’renottothinkaboutthoseguns,“saidClarissa,seeingthathiseye,passingoverthewaves,stillsoughtthelandmeditatively,“oraboutnavies,orempires,oranything。“Sosayingsheopenedthebookandbegantoread:
“’SirWalterElliott,ofKellynchHall,inSomersetshire,wasamanwho,forhisownamusement,nevertookupanybookbutthe_Baronetage_’——
don’tyouknowSirWalter?——’Therehefoundoccupationforanidlehour,andconsolationinadistressedone。’Shedoeswritewell,doesn’tshe?’There——’“Shereadoninalighthumorousvoice。
ShewasdeterminedthatSirWaltershouldtakeherhusband’smindoffthegunsofBritain,anddiverthiminanexquisite,quaint,sprightly,andslightlyridiculousworld。Afteratimeitappearedthatthesunwassinkinginthatworld,andthepointsbecomingsofter。Rachellookeduptoseewhatcausedthechange。
Richard’seyelidswereclosingandopening;openingandclosing。
Aloudnasalbreathannouncedthathenolongerconsideredappearances,thathewassoundasleep。
“Triumph!“Clarissawhisperedattheendofasentence。Suddenlysheraisedherhandinprotest。Asailorhesitated;shegavethebooktoRachel,andsteppedlightlytotakethemessage——“Mr。Gricewishedtoknowifitwasconvenient,“etc。Shefollowedhim。
Ridley,whohadprowledunheeded,startedforward,stopped,and,withagestureofdisgust,strodeofftohisstudy。ThesleepingpoliticianwasleftinRachel’scharge。Shereadasentence,andtookalookathim。Insleephelookedlikeacoathangingattheendofabed;therewereallthewrinkles,andthesleevesandtrouserskepttheirshapethoughnolongerfilledoutbylegsandarms。Youcanthenbestjudgetheageandstateofthecoat。
Shelookedhimalloveruntilitseemedtoherthathemustprotest。
Hewasamanoffortyperhaps;andheretherewerelinesroundhiseyes,andtherecuriouscleftsinhischeeks。Slightlybatteredheappeared,butdoggedandintheprimeoflife。
“Sistersandadormouseandsomecanaries,“Rachelmurmured,nevertakinghereyesoffhim。“Iwonder,Iwonder“sheceased,herchinuponherhand,stilllookingathim。Abellchimedbehindthem,andRichardraisedhishead。Thenheopenedhiseyeswhichworeforasecondthequeerlookofashortsightedperson’swhosespectaclesarelost。Ittookhimamomenttorecoverfromtheimproprietyofhavingsnored,andpossiblygrunted,beforeayounglady。Towakeandfindoneselfleftalonewithonewasalsoslightlydisconcerting。
“IsupposeI’vebeendozing,“hesaid。“What’shappenedtoeveryone?Clarissa?“
“Mrs。DallowayhasgonetolookatMr。Grice’sfish,“Rachelreplied。
“Imighthaveguessed,“saidRichard。“It’sacommonoccurrence。
Andhowhaveyouimprovedtheshininghour?Haveyoubecomeaconvert?“
“Idon’tthinkI’vereadaline,“saidRachel。
“That’swhatIalwaysfind。Therearetoomanythingstolookat。
Ifindnatureverystimulatingmyself。Mybestideashavecometomeoutofdoors。“
“Whenyouwerewalking?“
“Walking——riding——yachting——IsupposethemostmomentousconversationsofmylifetookplacewhileperambulatingthegreatcourtatTrinity。
Iwasatbothuniversities。Itwasafadofmyfather’s。Hethoughtitbroadeningtothemind。IthinkIagreewithhim。Icanremember——
whatanageagoitseems!——settlingthebasisofafuturestatewiththepresentSecretaryforIndia。Wethoughtourselvesverywise。
I’mnotsureweweren’t。Wewerehappy,MissVinrace,andwewereyoung——
giftswhichmakeforwisdom。“