Thepoorwardengroanedashesatperfectlystill,lookingupatthehard-heartedoratorwhothustormentedhim,andthebishopechoedthesoundfaintlyfrombehindhishands;
butthearchdeaconcaredlittleforsuchsignsofweakness,andcompletedhisexhortation。
’Butletussupposetheofficetobeleftvacant,andthatyourowntroublesconcerningitwereover;wouldthatsatisfyyou?
Areyouronlyaspirationsinthematterconfinedtoyourselfandfamily?Iknowtheyarenot。Iknowyouareasanxiousasanyofusforthechurchtowhichwebelong;andwhatagrievousblowwouldsuchanactofapostacygiveher!Youoweittothechurchofwhichyouareamemberandaminister,tobearwiththisaffliction,howeversevereitmaybe:youoweittomyfather,whoinstitutedyou,tosupporthisrights:youoweittothosewhoprecededyoutoassertthelegalityoftheirposition;youoweittothosewhoaretocomeafteryou,tomaintainuninjuredforthemthatwhichyoureceiveduninjuredfromothers;andyouowetousalltheunflinchingassistanceofperfectbrotherhoodinthismatter,sothatupholdingoneanotherwemaysupportourgreatcausewithoutblushingandwithoutdisgrace。’
Andsothearchdeaconceased,andstoodself-satisfied,watchingtheeffectofhisspokenwisdom。
Thewardenfelthimself,toacertainextent,stifled;hewouldhavegiventheworldtogethimselfoutintotheopenairwithoutspeakingto,ornoticingthosewhowereintheroomwithhim;butthiswasimpossible。Hecouldnotleavewithoutsayingsomething,andhefelthimselfconfoundedbythearchdeacon’seloquence。Therewasaheavy,unfeeling,unanswerabletruthinwhathehadsaid;therewassomuchpractical,butodiouscommonsenseinit,thatheneitherknewhowtoassentortodiffer。Ifitwerenecessaryforhimtosuffer,hefeltthathecouldendurewithoutcomplaintandwithoutcowardice,providingthathewasself-satisfiedofthejusticeofhisowncause。Whathecouldnotendurewas,thatheshouldbeaccusedbyothers,andnotacquittedbyhimself。
Doubting,ashehadbeguntodoubt,thejusticeofhisownpositioninthehospital,heknewthathisownself-confidencewouldnotberestoredbecauseMrBoldhadbeeninerrorastosomelegalform;norcouldhebesatisfiedtoescape,because,throughsomelegalfiction,hewhoreceivedthegreatestbenefitfromthehospitalmightbeconsideredonlyasoneofitsservants。
Thearchdeacon’sspeechhadsilencedhim——stupefiedhim——annihilatedhim;anythingbutsatisfiedhim。Withthebishopitfarednotmuchbetter。Hedidnotdiscernclearlyhowthingswere,buthesawenoughtoknowthatabattlewastobepreparedfor;abattlethatwoulddestroyhisfewremainingcomforts,andbringhimwithsorrowtothegrave。
Thewardenstillsat,andstilllookedatthearchdeacon,tillhisthoughtsfixedthemselveswhollyonthemeansofescapefromhispresentposition,andhefeltlikeabirdfascinatedbygazingonasnake。
’Ihopeyouagreewithme,’saidthearchdeaconatlast,breakingthedreadsilence;’mylord,Ihopeyouagreewithme。’
Oh,whatasighthebishopgave!’Mylord,Ihopeyouagreewithme,’againrepeatedthemercilesstyrant。
’Yes,Isupposeso,’groanedthepooroldman,slowly。
’Andyou,warden?’
MrHardingwasnowstirredtoaction——hemustspeakandmove,sohegotupandtookoneturnbeforeheanswered。
’Donotpressmeforananswerjustatpresent;Iwilldonothinglightlyinthematter,andofwhateverIdoIwillgiveyouandthebishopnotice。’Andsowithoutanotherwordhetookhisleave,escapingquicklythroughthepalacehall,anddowntheloftysteps,nordidhebreathefreelytillhefoundhimselfaloneunderthehugeelmsofthesilentclose。Herehewalkedlongandslowly,thinkingonhiscasewithatroubledair,andtryinginvaintoconfutethearchdeacon’sargument。
Hethenwenthome,resolvedtobearitall——ignominy,suspense,disgrace,self-doubt,andheart-burning——andtodoasthosewouldhavehim,whohestillbelievedweremostfitandmostabletocounselhimaright。
TribulationMrHardingwasasaddermanthanhehadeveryetbeenwhenhereturnedtohisownhouse。Hehadbeenwretchedenoughonthatwell-rememberedmorningwhenhewasforcedtoexposebeforehisson-in-lawthepublisher’saccountforusheringintotheworldhisdearbookofsacredmusic:whenaftermakingsuchpaymentsashecoulddounassisted,hefoundthathewasadebtorofmorethanthreehundredpounds;buthissufferingsthenwereasnothingtohispresentmisery;——thenhehaddonewrong,andheknewit,andwasabletoresolvethathewouldnotsininlikemanneragain;butnowhecouldmakenoresolution,andcomforthimselfbynopromisesoffirmness。Hehadbeenforcedtothinkthathislothadplacedhiminafalseposition,andhewasabouttomaintainthatpositionagainsttheopinionoftheworldandagainsthisownconvictions。
Hehadreadwithpity,amountingalmosttohorror,thestrictureswhichhadappearedfromtimetotimeagainsttheEarlofGuildfordasmasterofStCross,andtheinvectivesthathadbeenheapedonrichdiocesandignitariesandovergrownsinecurepluralists。Injudgingofthem,hejudgedleniently;
thewholebiasofhisprofessionhadtaughthimtothinkthattheyweremoresinnedagainstthansinning,andthattheanimositywithwhichtheyhadbeenpursuedwasvenomousandunjust;buthehadnotthelessregardedtheirplightasmostmiserable。
Hishairhadstoodonendandhisfleshhadcreptashereadthethingswhichhadbeenwritten;hehadwonderedhowmencouldliveundersuchaloadofdisgrace;howtheycouldfacetheirfellow-creatureswhiletheirnameswerebandiedaboutsoinjuriouslyandsopublicly——andnowthislotwastobehis——he,thatshy,retiringman,whohadsocomfortedhimselfinthehiddenobscurityofhislot,whohadsoenjoyedtheunassumingwarmthofhisownlittlecorner,hewasnowdraggedforthintotheglaringday,andgibbetedbeforeferociousmultitudes。Heenteredhisownhouseacrestfallen,humiliatedman,withoutahopeofovercomingthewretchednesswhichaffectedhim。
Hewanderedintothedrawing-roomwherewashisdaughter;
buthecouldnotspeaktohernow,soheleftit,andwentintothebook-room。HewasnotquickenoughtoescapeEleanor’sglance,ortopreventherfromseeingthathewasdisturbed;
andinalittlewhileshefollowedhim。Shefoundhimseatedinhisaccustomedchairwithnobookopenbeforehim,nopenreadyinhishand,noill-shapennotesofblottedmusiclyingbeforehimaswasusual,noneofthosehospitalaccountswithwhichhewassopreciseandyetsounmethodical:hewasdoingnothing,thinkingofnothing,lookingatnothing;
hewasmerelysuffering。
’Leaveme,Eleanor,mydear,’hesaid;’leaveme,mydarling,forafewminutes,forIambusy。’
Eleanorsawwellhowitwas,butshedidleavehim,andglidedsilentlybacktoherdrawing-room。Whenhehadsatawhile,thusaloneandunoccupied,hegotuptowalkagain——
hecouldmakemoreofhisthoughtswalkingthansitting,andwascreepingoutintohisgarden,whenhemetBunceonthethreshold。
’Well,Bunce,’saidhe,inatonethatforhimwassharp,’whatisit?doyouwantme?’
’Iwasonlycomingtoaskafteryourreverence,’saidtheoldbedesman,touchinghishat;’andtoinquireaboutthenewsfromLondon,’headdedafterapause。
Thewardenwinced,andputhishandtohisforeheadandfeltbewildered。
’AttorneyFinneyhasbeentherethismorning,’continuedBunce,’andbyhislooksIguessheisnotsowellpleasedasheoncewas,andithasgotabroadsomehowthatthearchdeaconhashaddowngreatnewsfromLondon,andHandyandMoodyarebothasblackasdevils。AndIhope,’saidtheman,tryingtoassumeacheerytone,’thatthingsarelookingup,andthatthere’llbeanendsoontoallthisstuffwhichbothersyourreverencesosorely。’
’Well,Iwishtheremaybe,Bunce。’
’Butaboutthenews,yourreverence?’saidtheoldman,almostwhispering。
MrHardingwalkedon,andshookhisheadimpatiently。
PoorBuncelittleknewhowhewastormentinghispatron。
’Iftherewasanythingtocheeryou,Ishouldbesogladtoknowit,’saidhe,withatoneofaffectionwhichthewardeninallhismiserycouldnotresist。
Hestopped,andtookboththeoldman’shandsinhis。
’Myfriend,’saidhe,’mydearoldfriend,thereisnothing;
thereisnonewstocheerme——God’swillbedone’:andtwosmallhottearsbrokeawayfromhiseyesandstoledownhisfurrowedcheeks。
’ThenGod’swillbedone,’saidtheothersolemnly;’buttheytoldmethattherewasgoodnewsfromLondon,andI
cametowishyourreverencejoy;butGod’swillbedone,’
andsothewardenagainwalkedon,andthebedesman,lookingwistfullyafterhimandreceivingnoencouragementtofollow,returnedsadlytohisownabode。
Foracoupleofhoursthewardenremainedthusinthegarden,nowwalking,nowstandingmotionlessontheturf,andthen,ashislegsgotweary,sittingunconsciouslyonthegardenseats,andthenwalkingagain。AndEleanor,hiddenbehindthemuslincurtainsofthewindow,watchedhimthroughthetreesashenowcameinsight,andthenagainwasconcealedbytheturningsofthewalk;andthusthetimepassedawaytillfive,whenthewardencreptbacktothehouseandpreparedfordinner。
Itwasbutasorrymeal。Thedemureparlour-maid,asshehandedthedishesandchangedtheplates,sawthatallwasnotright,andwasmoredemurethanever:neitherfathernordaughtercouldeat,andthehatefulfoodwassoonclearedaway,andthebottleofportplaceduponthetable。