Theycastanabsurdpoetryoverthelandscape；theyinvitedthemselvestoberemindedofpassagesofEuropeantravelbyit；，andtheyplacedvillasandcastlesandpalacesuponalltheeligiblebuilding-sites。Ashamedofthesedevices，presently，BasilpatrioticallytriedtoreconstructtheDutchandIndianpastoftheMohawkValley，butherehewasfoiledbytheimmenseignoranceofhiswife，who，asatrueAmericanwoman，knewnothingofthehistoryofherowncountry，andlessthannothingofthebarbarousregionsbeyondthebordersofhernativeprovince。SheprovedabewilderinglabyrinthoferrorconcerningtheeventswhichBasilmentioned；andshehadneverevenheardofthemassacresbytheFrenchandIndiansatSchenectady，whichheinhisboyhoodhadknownsovividlythathewasscalpedeverynightinhisdreams，andwokeupinthemorningexpectingtoseemarksofthetomahawkonthehead-board。So，failingatlasttoextractanysentimentfromthesceneswithout，theyturnedtheirfacesfromthewindow，andlookedaboutthemforamusementwithinthecar。
　　Itwasinallrespectsanordinarycarfulofhumanbeings，anditwasperhapsthemoreworthytobestudiedonthataccount。Asinliteraturethetrueartistwillshuntheuseevenofrealeventsiftheyareofanimprobablecharacter，sothesincereobserverofmanwillnotdesiretolookupontheheroicoroccasionalphases，butwillseekhiminhishabitualmoodsofvacancyandtiresomeness。Tome，atanyrate，heisatsuchtimesveryprecious；andIneverperceivehimtobesomuchamanandabrotheraswhenIfeelthepressureofhisvast，natural，unaffecteddullness。ThenIamabletoenterconfidentlyintohislifeandinhabitthere，tothinkhisshallowandfeeblethoughts，tobemovedbyhisdumb，stupiddesires，tobedimlyilluminedbyhisstintedinspirations，tosharehisfoolishprejudices，topracticehisobtuseselfishness。Yes，itisaveryamusingworld，ifyoudonotrefusetobeamused；andourfriendswereverywillingtobeentertained。Theydelightedintheprecise，thick-fingeredoldladieswhoboughtsweetapplesoftheboyscomeaboardwithbaskets，andwhoweresolonginfindingtherightchange，thatourtravellers，leapinginthoughtwiththeboysfromthemovingtrain，feltthattheydidsoattheperiloftheirlives。Thentheywereinterestedinpeoplewhowentoutandfoundtheirfriendswaitingforthem，orelsedidnotfindthem，andwandereddisconsolatelyupanddownbeforethecountrystations，carpet-baginhand；inwomenwhocameaboard，andwereawkwardlyshakenhandswithorsheepishlykissedbythosewhohastilygotseatsforthem，andplacedtheirbagsortheirbabiesintheirlaps，andturnedforanodatthedoor；inyoungladieswhowereseentoplacesbyyoungmenthelatterseemednottocareifthetraindidgooffwiththem，andthenthrewuptheirwindowsandtalkedwithgirl-friends，ontheplatformwithout，tillthetrainbegantomove，andatlastturnedwithgleamingeyesandmoistredlips，andpantedhardintheexcitementofthinkingaboutit，andcouldnotcalmthemselvestothedulllevelofthetravelaroundthem；intheconductor，coldlyandinaccessiblyvigilant，ashewenthisrounds，reachingblindlyfortheticketswithonehandwhilehebenthisheadfromtime，totime，andlistenedwithafaint，sarcasticsmiletothequestionsofpassengerswhosupposedtheyweregoingtogetsomeinformationoutofhim；inthetrainboy，whopassedthroughonhismanyerrandswithprizecandies，gum-drops，pop-corn，papersandmagazines，anddistributedbooksandthepolicejournalswithablindimpartiality，oraprodigiousignorance，orasupernaturalperceptionofcharacterinthosewhoreceivedthem。
　　AthroughtrainfromEasttoWestpresentssomepeculiarfeaturesaswellasthetraitscommontoallrailwaytravel；andourfriendsdecidedthatthiswasnotaverywell-dressedcompany，andwouldcontrastwiththepeopleonanexpress-trainbetweenBostonandNewYorktonobetteradvantagethanthesewouldshowbesidetheaveragepassengersbetweenLondonandParis。Anditseemstruethatonawestering’line，theblackingfadesgraduallyfromtheboots，thehatsoftensandsinks，thecoatlosesitsrigorofcut，andthewholepersonloungesintoincreasinginformalityofcostume。Ispeakoftheundressfulsexalone:woman，whereversheis，appearsinthelastattainableeffectsoffashion，whicharenowallbuttelegraphicanduniversal。Butmostofthepassengershereweremen，andtheymereplainlyofthefree-andeasyWestratherthanthedapperEast。Theyworefacesthoughtfulwiththeproblemofbuyingcheapandsellingdear，andtheycouldbeknownbytheirsilencefromtheloquacious，acquaintance-makingway-travellers。Inthese，themerecomingaboardseemedtobegetanaggressivelyconfidentialmood。
　　Perhapstheyclutchedrecklesslyatanymeansofrelievingtheirennui；
　　ortheyfeltthattheymighthereindulgesafelyinthepleasuresofautobiography，sodeartoallofus；orelse，inviewofthemanypossiblecatastrophes，theydesiredtoleavesomelittlememoryofthemselvesbehind。Atanyrate，wheneverthetrainstopped，thewedding-
　　journeyerscaughtfragmentsofthepersonalhistoriesoftheirfellow-
　　passengerswhichhadbeenrehearsingtothosethatsatnextthenarrators。Itwasnomorethanfairthattheseshouldsomewhatmagnifythemselves，andputthebestcomplexionontheiractionsandtheworstupontheirsufferings；thattheyshouldallappeartheluckiestortheunluckiest，thehealthiestorthesickest，peoplethateverwere，andshouldallhavemadeorlostthemostmoney。Therewasaprevailingdesireamongthemtomakeoutthattheycamefromorweregoingtosameverylargeplace；andourfriendsfanciedanactualmortificationinthefaceofamodestgentlemanwhogotoutatPenelopeorsomeotherinsignificantclassicalstation，intheancientGreekandRomanpartofNewYorkState，afterhavinglistenedtothelifeofasomewhatrustic-
　　lookingpersonwhohaddescribedhimselfasbelongingnearNewYorkCity。
　　Basilalsofounddiversioninthetendercouples，whopubliclycomportedthemselvesasifinasylvansolitude，and，asithadbeenonthebankofsomeumbrageousstream，farfromthekenofenviousorunsympatheticeyes，reclineduponeachother’sshouldersandslept；butIsabeldeclaredthatthisbehaviorwasperfectlyindecent。Shegranted，ofcourse，thattheywerefoolish，innocentpeople，whomeantnooffense，anddidnotfeelguiltyofanimpropriety，butshesaidthatthissortofthingwasanationalreproach。Ifitweremerelyrusticlovers，sheshouldnotcaresomuch；butyousawpeoplewhooughttoknowbetter，well-dressed，stylishpeople，flauntingtheirdevotioninthefaceoftheworld，andgoingtosleeponeachother’sshouldersoneveryrailroadtrain。Itwasoutrageous，itwasscandalous，itwasreallyinfamous。Beforeshewouldallowherselftodosuchathingshewould——well，shehardlyknewwhatshewouldnotdo；shewouldhaveadivorce，atanyrate。ShewonderedthatBasilcouldlaughatit；andhewouldmakeherhatehimifhekepton。
　　Fromtheseatbehindtheirowntheywerenowmadelistenerstothehistoryofatenweeks’typhoidfever，fromthemomentwhenthenarratornoticedthathehadnotfeltverywellforadayortwoback，andallatonceakindofshivertookhim，tillhelayfourteendaysperfectlyinsensible，andcouldeatnothingbutalittlepoundedice——andhiswife——
　　asmallwoman，too——usedtolifthimbackandforthbetweenthebedandsofalikeafeather，andtheneighborsdidnotknowhalfthetimewhetherhewasdeadoralive。Thishistory，fromwhichnotthesmallestparticularortheleastsignificantsymptomofthecasewasomitted，occupiedanhourinrecital，andwastold，asitseemed，fortheentertainmentofonewhohadbeenfiveminutesbeforeitbeganastrangertothehistorian。
　　Atlastthetraincametoastand，andIsabelwailedforthinaccentsofdesperationthewords，“O，disgusting！“Themonotonyofthenarrativeintheseatbehind，fatallycombiningwiththeheatoftheday，hadlulledherintoslumbersfromwhichsheawokeatthestoppingofthetrain，tofindherheadrestingtenderlyuponherhusband’sshoulder。
　　Sheconfrontedhismerrimentwithevesofmournfulrebuke；butasshecouldnotfindhim，ortheharshestconstruction，intheleasttoblame，shewassilent。
　　“Nevermind，dear，nevermind，“hecoaxed，youwerereallynotresponsible。Itwasfatigue，destiny，thespiteoffortune，——whateveryoulike。Inthecaseoftheothers，whomyoudespisesojustly，Idaresayitissheer，disgracefulaffection。Butseethatravishingplacard，swingingfromtheroof:’ThistrainstopstwentyminutesfordinneratUtica。’InafewminutesmoreweshallbeatUtica。Iftheyhaveanythingediblethere，itshallnevercontractmypowers。IcoulddineattheAlbanystation，even。“
　　Inalittlewhiletheyfoundthemselvesinanairy，comfortabledining-
　　room，eatingadinner，whichitseemedtothemFranceintheflushofherprosperityneednothaveblushedtoserve；forifitwantedalittleinthelastgracesofart，itredeemeditselfinabundance，variety，andwholesomeness。Attheelbowofeveryfamishingpassengerstoodabeneficentcoal-blackglossyfairy，inawhitelinenapronandjacket，servinghimwiththatalacrityandkindlinessandgracewhichmakethenegrowaiterthemaster，nottheslaveofhiscalling，whichdisenthrallitofservility，andconstitutehimyoureagerhost，notyourmenial，forthemoment。Fromtabletotablepassedacalminginfluenceinthepersonoftheproprietor，who，ashetookhisrichlyearnedmoney，checkedtherisingfearsoftheguestsbyrepeatedproclamationsthattherewasplentyoftime，andthathewouldgivethemduewarningbeforethetrainstarted。Thosewhohadflockedoutofthecars，topreywithbeakandclaw，asthevulture-likefashionis，uponeverythinginreach，remainedtoeatlikeChristians；andevenapoor，scantily-EnglishedFrenchman，whowastedhalfhistimeintryingtoaskhowlongthecarsstoppedandinlookingathiswatch，madeagooddinnerinspiteofhimself。
　　“OBasil，Basil！“criedIsabel，whenthetrainwasagaininmotion，“havewereallydinedoncemore？Itseemstoogoodtobetrue。Cleanliness，plenty，wholesomeness，civility！Yes，asyousay，theycannotbecivilwheretheyarenotjust；honestyandcourtesygotogether；andwherevertheygiveyououtrageousthingstoeat，theyaddindigestibleinsults。
　　Basil，dear，don’tbejealous；Ishallnevermeethimagain；butI’minlovewiththatblackwaiteratourtable。Ineversawsuchperfectmanners，suchawinningandaffectionatepoliteness。HemademefeelthateverymouthfulIatewasapersonalfavortohim。Whatacompletegentleman。Thereoughtnevertobeawhitewaiter。Nonebutnegroesareabletorendertheirserviceapleasureanddistinctiontoyou。“
　　Sotheyprattledon，doing，intheireagernesstobesatisfied，ahomageperhapsbeyonditsdeserttothegooddinnerandthedecentserviceofit。Butheretheyerredintherightdirection，andIfindnothingmoreadmirableintheirbehaviorthroughoutaweddingjourneywhichcertainlyhaditstrials，thantheirwillingnesstomaketheveryheatofwhateverwouldsufferitselftobemadeanythingatallof。Theycelebrateditspleasureswithmagnanimousexcess，theypassedoveritsgriefswithawiseforbearance。Thatwhichtheyfoundthemostdifficultofmanagementwasthewantofincidentforthemostpartofthetime；andIwhowritetheirhistorymightalsosinkunderit，butthatIamsupportedbythefactthatitissotypical，inthisrespect。Ievenimaginethatidealreaderforwhomonewritesasyawningoverthesebarrendetailswiththelife-likewearinessofanactualtravellingcompanionoftheirs。Theirownsilenceoftensufficedmyweddedlovers，orthen，whentherewasabsolutelynothingtoengagethem，theyfellbackuponthestoryoftheirlove，whichtheywerenevertiredofhearingastheyseverallyknewit。
　　LetitnotbeareproachtohumannatureortomeifIsaythattherewassomethinginthecomfortofhavingwelldinedwhichnowtouchedthespringsofsentimentwithmagicaleffect，andthattheyhadneversorejoicedinthesetenderreminiscences。
　　TheyhadplannedtostopoveratRochestertillthemorrow，thattheymightarriveatNiagarabydaylight，andatUticatheyhadsuddenlyresolvedtomaketherestoftheday’sjourneyinadrawing-roomcar。
　　Thechangegavethemanaddedreasonforcontent；andtheyrealizedhowmuchtheyhadpreviouslysacrificedtotheideaoftravellinginthemostAmericanmanner，withoutachievingitafterall，forthisseemedatouchofAmericanismbeyondtheold-fashionedcar。Theyreclinedinluxuryupontheeasy-cushioned，revolvingchairs；theysurveyedwithinfinitesatisfactiontheeleganceoftheflying-parlorinwhichtheysat，orturnedtheircontentedregardthroughthebroadplate-glasswindowsuponthelandscapewithout。TheysaidthatnonebutAmericansorenchantedprincesinthe“ArabianNights“evertravelledinsuchstate；andwhenthestewardsofthecarcameroundsuccessivelywithtropicalfruits，ice-creams，andclaret-punches，theyfeltaheightenedassurancethattheywereeitherenchantedprinces——orAmericans。Thereweremoreladiesandmorefashionthanintheothercars；andprettilydressedchildrenplayedaboutonthecarpet；butthegeneralappearanceofthepassengershardlysuggestedgreaterwealththanelsewhere；andtheywereplainlyinthatcarbecausetheywereoftheAmericanrace，whichfindsnothingtoogoodforitthatitsmoneycanbuy。