“’HaveyouneverheardoftheLeagueoftheRed-headedMen?’heasked,withhiseyesopen。
  “’Never。’
  “’Why,Iwonderatthat,foryouareeligibleyourselfforoneofthevacancies。’
  “’Andwhataretheyworth?’Iasked。
  “’Oh,merelyacoupleofhundredayear,buttheworkisslight,anditneednotinterfereverymuchwithone’sotheroccupations。’
  “Well,youcaneasilythinkthatthatmademeprickupmyears,forthebusinesshasnotbeenovergoodforsomeyears,andanextracoupleofhundredwouldhavebeenveryhandy。
  “’Tellmeallaboutit,’saidI。
  “’Well,’saidhe,showingmetheadvertisement,’youcanseeforyourselfthattheLeaguehasavacancy,andthereistheaddresswhereyoushouldapplyforparticulars。AsfarasIcanmakeout,theLeaguewasfoundedbyanAmericanmillionaire,EzekiahHopkins,whowasverypeculiarinhisways。Hewashimselfred-headed,andhehadagreatsympathyforallred-headedmen;so,whenhedied,itwasfoundthathehadlefthisenormousfortuneinthehandsoftrustees,withinstructionstoapplytheinteresttotheprovidingofeasyberthstomenwhosehairisofthatcolor。FromallIhearitissplendidpay,andverylittletodo。’
  “’But,’saidI,’therewouldbemillionsofred-headedmenwhowouldapply。’
  “’Notsomanyasyoumightthink,’heanswered。’YouseeitisreallyconfinedtoLondoners,andtogrownmen。ThisAmericanhadstartedfromLondonwhenhewasyoung,andhewantedtodotheoldtownagoodturn。Then,again,Ihavehearditisofnouseyourapplyingifyourhairislightred,ordarkred,oranythingbutreal,bright,blazing,fieryred。Now,ifyoucaredtoapply,Mr。
  Wilson,youwouldjustwalkin;butperhapsitwouldhardlybeworthyourwhiletoputyourselfoutofthewayforthesakeofafewhundredpounds。’
  “Nowitisafact,gentlemen,asyoumayseeforyourselves,thatmyhairisofaveryfullandrichtint,sothatitseemedtomethat,iftherewastobeanycompetitioninthematter,IstoodasgoodachanceasanymanthatIhadevermet。VincentSpauldingseemedtoknowsomuchaboutitthatIthoughthemightproveuseful,soIjustorderedhimtoputuptheshuttersfortheday,andtocomerightawaywithme。Hewasverywillingtohaveaholiday,soweshutthebusinessup,andstartedofffortheaddressthatwasgivenusintheadvertisement。
  “Ineverhopetoseesuchasightasthatagain,Mr。Holmes。Fromnorth,south,east,andwesteverymanwhohadashadeofredinhishairhadtrampedintotheCitytoanswertheadvertisement。
  FleetStreetwaschokedwithred-headedfolk,andPope’sCourtlookedlikeacoster’sorangebarrow。Ishouldnothavethoughtthereweresomanyinthewholecountryaswerebroughttogetherbythatsingleadvertisement。Everyshadeofcolortheywere——straw,lemon,orange,brick,Irishsetter,liver,clay;but,asSpauldingsaid,therewerenotmanywhohadtherealvividflame-coloredtint。WhenIsawhowmanywerewaiting,Iwouldhavegivenitupindespair;butSpauldingwouldnothearofit。HowhediditI
  couldnotimagine,buthepushedandpulledandbutteduntilhegotmethroughthecrowd,andrightuptothestepswhichledtotheoffice。Therewasadoublestreamuponthestair,somegoingupinhope,andsomecomingbackdejected;butwewedgedinaswellaswecould,andsoonfoundourselvesintheoffice。“
  “Yourexperiencehasbeenamostentertainingone,“remarkedHolmes,ashisclientpausedandrefreshedhismemorywithahugepinchofsnuff。“Praycontinueyourveryinterestingstatement。“
  “Therewasnothingintheofficebutacoupleofwoodenchairsandadealtable,behindwhichsatasmallman,withaheadthatwasevenredderthanmine。Hesaidafewwordstoeachcandidateashecameup,andthenhealwaysmanagedtofindsomefaultinthemwhichwoulddisqualifythem。Gettingavacancydidnotseemtobesuchaveryeasymatterafterall。However,whenourturncame,thelittlemanwasmuchmorefavorabletomethantoanyoftheothers,andheclosedthedoorasweentered,sothathemighthaveaprivatewordwithus。
  “’ThisisMr。JabezWilson,’saidmyassistant,’andheiswillingtofillavacancyintheLeague。’
  “’Andheisadmirablysuitedforit,’theotheranswered。’Hehaseveryrequirement。IcannotrecallwhenIhaveseenanythingsofine。’Hetookastepbackward,cockedhisheadononeside,andgazedatmyhairuntilIfeltquitebashful。Thensuddenlyheplungedforward,wrungmyhand,andcongratulatedmewarmlyonmysuccess。
  “’Itwouldbeinjusticetohesitate,’saidhe。’Youwill,however,Iamsure,excusemefortakinganobviousprecaution。’Withthatheseizedmyhairinbothhishands,andtuggeduntilIyelledwiththepain。’Thereiswaterinyoureyes,’saidhe,ashereleasedme。’Iperceivethatallisasitshouldbe。Butwehavetobecareful,forwehavetwicebeendeceivedbywigsandoncebypaint。
  Icouldtellyoutalesofcobbler’swaxwhichwoulddisgustyouwithhumannature。’Hesteppedovertothewindowandshoutedthroughitatthetopofhisvoicethatthevacancywasfilled。A
  groanofdisappointmentcameupfrombelow,andthefolkalltroopedawayindifferentdirections,untiltherewasnotaredheadtobeseenexceptmyownandthatofthemanager。
  “’Myname,’saidhe,’isMr。DuncanRoss,andIammyselfoneofthepensionersuponthefundleftbyournoblebenefactor。Areyouamarriedman,Mr。Wilson?Haveyouafamily?’
  “IansweredthatIhadnot。
  “Hisfacefellimmediately。
  “’Dearme!’hesaid,gravely,’thatisveryseriousindeed!Iamsorrytohearyousaythat。Thefundwas,ofcourse,forthepropagationandspreadoftheredheadsaswellasfortheirmaintenance。Itisexceedinglyunfortunatethatyoushouldbeabachelor。’
  “Myfacelengthenedatthis,Mr。Holmes,forIthoughtthatIwasnottohavethevacancyafterall;but,afterthinkingitoverforafewminutes,hesaidthatitwouldbeallright。
  “’Inthecaseofanother,’saidhe,’theobjectionmightbefatal,butwemuststretchapointinfavorofamanwithsuchaheadofhairasyours。Whenshallyoubeabletoenteruponyournewduties?’
  “’Well,itisalittleawkward,forIhaveabusinessalready,’
  saidI。
  “’Oh,nevermindaboutthat,Mr。Wilson!’saidVincentSpaulding。
  ’Ishallbeabletolookafterthatforyou。’
  “’Whatwouldbethehours?’Iasked。
  “’Tentotwo。’
  “Nowapawnbroker’sbusinessismostlydoneofanevening,Mr。
  Holmes,especiallyThursdayandFridayevenings,whichisjustbeforepayday;soitwouldsuitmeverywelltoearnalittleinthemornings。Besides,Iknewthatmyassistantwasagoodman,andthathewouldseetoanythingthatturnedup。
  “’Thatwouldsuitmeverywell,’saidI。’Andthepay?’
  “’Isfourpoundsaweek。’
  “’Andthework?’
  “’Ispurelynominal。’
  “’Whatdoyoucallpurelynominal?’
  “’Well,youhavetobeintheoffice,oratleastinthebuilding,thewholetime。Ifyouleave,youforfeityourwholepositionforever。Thewillisveryclearuponthatpoint。Youdon’tcomplywiththeconditionsifyoubudgefromtheofficeduringthattime。’
  “’It’sonlyfourhoursaday,andIshouldnotthinkofleaving,’
  saidI。
  “’Noexcusewillavail,’saidMr。DuncanRoss,’neithersickness,norbusiness,noranythingelse。Thereyoumuststay,oryouloseyourbillet。’
  “’Andthework?’
  “’Istocopyoutthe“EncyclopaediaBritannica。“Thereisthefirstvolumeofitinthatpress。Youmustfindyourownink,pens,andblottingpaper,butweprovidethistableandchair。
  Willyoubereadyto-morrow?’
  “’Certainly,’Ianswered。
  “’Then,good-by,Mr。JabezWilson,andletmecongratulateyouoncemoreontheimportantpositionwhichyouhavebeenfortunateenoughtogain。’Hebowedmeoutoftheroom,andIwenthomewithmyassistanthardlyknowingwhattosayordo,Iwassopleasedatmyowngoodfortune。
  “Well,Ithoughtoverthematterallday,andbyeveningIwasinlowspiritsagain;forIhadquitepersuadedmyselfthatthewholeaffairmustbesomegreathoaxorfraud,thoughwhatitsobjectmightbeIcouldnotimagine。Itseemedaltogetherpastbeliefthatanyonecouldmakesuchawill,orthattheywouldpaysuchasumfordoinganythingsosimpleascopyingoutthe’EncyclopaediaBritannica。’VincentSpauldingdidwhathecouldtocheermeup,butbybedtimeIhadreasonedmyselfoutofthewholething。
  However,inthemorningIdeterminedtohavealookatitanyhow,soIboughtapennybottleofink,andwithaquillpenandsevensheetsoffoolscappaperIstartedoffforPope’sCourt。
  “Well,tomysurpriseanddelighteverythingwasasrightaspossible。Thetablewassetoutreadyforme,andMr。DuncanRosswastheretoseethatIgotfairlytowork。HestartedmeoffupontheletterA,andthenheleftme;buthewoulddropinfromtimetotimetoseethatallwasrightwithme。Attwoo’clockhebademegood-day,complimentedmeupontheamountthatIhadwritten,andlockedthedooroftheofficeafterme。
  “Thiswentondayafterday,Mr。Holmes,andonSaturdaythemanagercameinandplankeddownfourgoldensovereignsformyweek’swork。Itwasthesamenextweek,andthesametheweekafter。EverymorningIwasthereatten,andeveryafternoonI
  leftattwo。BydegreesMr。DuncanRosstooktocominginonlyonceofamorning,andthen,afteratime,hedidnotcomeinatall。Still,ofcourse。Ineverdaredtoleavetheroomforaninstant,forIwasnotsurewhenhemightcome,andthebilletwassuchagoodone,andsuitedmesowell,thatIwouldnotriskthelossofit。
  “Eightweekspassedawaylikethis,andIhadwrittenaboutAbbots,andArchery,andArmor,andArchitecture,andAttica,andhopedwithdiligencethatImightgetontotheBsbeforeverylong。Itcostmesomethinginfoolscap,andIhadprettynearlyfilledashelfwithmywritings。Andthensuddenlythewholebusinesscametoanend。“
  “Toanend?“
  “Yes,sir。Andnolaterthanthismorning。Iwenttomyworkasusualatteno’clock,butthedoorwasshutandlocked,withalittlesquareofcardboardhammeredontothemiddleofthepanelwithatack。Hereitis,andyoucanreadforyourself。“
  Heheldupapieceofwhitecardboard,aboutthesizeofasheetofnotepaper。Itreadinthisfashion:
  “THERED-HEADEDLEAGUEISDISSOLVED。
  Oct。9,1890。“
  SherlockHolmesandIsurveyedthiscurtannouncementandtheruefulfacebehindit,untilthecomicalsideoftheaffairsocompletelyovertoppedeveryconsiderationthatwebothburstoutintoaroaroflaughter。
  “Icannotseethatthereisanythingveryfunny,“criedourclient,flushinguptotherootsofhisflaminghead。“Ifyoucandonothingbetterthanlaughatme,Icangoelsewhere。“
  “No,no,“criedHolmes,shovinghimbackintothechairfromwhichhehadhalfrisen。“Ireallywouldn’tmissyourcasefortheworld。Itismostrefreshinglyunusual。Butthereis,ifyouwillexcusemysayingso,somethingjustalittlefunnyaboutit。Praywhatstepsdidyoutakewhenyoufoundthecarduponthedoor?“
  “Iwasstaggered,sir。Ididnotknowwhattodo。ThenIcalledattheofficesround,butnoneofthemseemedtoknowanythingaboutit。Finally,Iwenttothelandlord,whoisanaccountantlivingonthegroundfloor,andIaskedhimifhecouldtellmewhathadbecomeoftheRed-headedLeague。Hesaidthathehadneverheardofanysuchbody。ThenIaskedhimwhoMr。DuncanRosswas。Heansweredthatthenamewasnewtohim。