shillingpieceandtheseragsonmyback。WhatrespectableinnkeeperwouldtakeMEintohishouse?Iwalkedabout,wonderinghowIcouldfindmywayoutoftheworldwithoutdisfiguringmyself,andwithoutsufferingmuchpain。Youhavenoriverintheseparts。Ididn’tseemywayoutoftheworld,tillIheardyouringingatthedoctor’shouse。Igotaglimpseatthebottlesinthesurgery,whenheletyouin,andIthoughtofthelaudanumdirectly。Whatwereyoudoingthere?Whoisthatmedicinefor?
Yourwife?“
“Iamnotmarried!“
Shelaughedagain。“Notmarried!IfIwasalittlebetterdressedtheremightbeachanceforME。Wheredoyoulive?Here?“
Wehadarrived,bythistime,atmymother’sdoor。Sheheldoutherhandtosaygood-by。Houselessandhomelessasshewas,sheneveraskedmetogiveherashelterforthenight。ItwasMY
proposalthatsheshouldrest,undermyroof,unknowntomymotherandmyaunt。Ourkitchenwasbuiltoutatthebackofthecottage:
shemightremainthereunseenandunhearduntilthehouseholdwasastirinthemorning。Iledherintothekitchen,andsetachairforherbythedyingembersofthefire。IdaresayIwastoblame——shamefullytoblame,ifyoulike。IonlywonderwhatYOU
wouldhavedoneinmyplace。Onyourwordofhonorasaman,wouldYOUhaveletthatbeautifulcreaturewanderbacktotheshelterofthestonequarrylikeastraydog?Godhelpthewomanwhoisfoolishenoughtotrustandloveyou,ifyouwouldhavedonethat!
Ileftherbythefire,andwenttomymother’sroom。
Ifyouhaveeverfelttheheartache,youwillknowwhatIsufferedinsecretwhenmymothertookmyhand,andsaid,“Iamsorry,Francis,thatyournight’sresthasbeendisturbedthroughME。“I
gaveherthemedicine;andIwaitedbyhertillthepainsabated。
MyauntChancewentbacktoherbed;andmymotherandIwereleftalone。Inoticedthatherwriting-desk,movedfromitscustomaryplace,wasonthebedbyherside。Shesawmelookingatit。
“Thisisyourbirthday,Francis,“shesaid。“Haveyouanythingtotellme?“IhadsocompletelyforgottenmyDream,thatIhadnonotionofwhatwaspassinginhermindwhenshesaidthosewords。
Foramomenttherewasaguiltyfearinmethatshesuspectedsomething。Iturnedawaymyface,andsaid,“No,mother;Ihavenothingtotell。“Shesignedtometostoopdownoverthepillowandkissher。“Godblessyou,mylove!“shesaid;andmanyhappyreturnsoftheday。“Shepattedmyhand,andclosedherwearyeyes,and,littlebylittle,felloffpeaceablyintosleep。
Istoledownstairsagain。Ithinkthegoodinfluenceofmymothermusthavefollowedmedown。Atanyrate,thisistrue:Istoppedwithmyhandontheclosedkitchendoor,andsaidtomyself:
“SupposeIleavethehouse,andleavethevillage,withoutseeingherorspeakingtohermore?“
ShouldIreallyhavefledfromtemptationinthisway,ifIhadbeenlefttomyselftodecide?Whocantell?Asthingswere,I
wasnotlefttodecide。Whilemydoubtwasinmymind,sheheardme,andopenedthekitchendoor。Myeyesandhereyesmet。Thatendedit。
Weweretogether,unsuspectedandundisturbed,forthenexttwohours。Timeenoughforhertorevealthesecretofherwastedlife。Timeenoughforhertotakepossessionofmeasherown,todowithmeassheliked。Itisneedlesstodwellhereonthemisfortuneswhichhadbroughtherlow;theyaremisfortunestoocommontointerestanybody。
HernamewasAliciaWarlock。Shehadbeenbornandbredalady。
Shehadlostherstation,hercharacter,andherfriends。Virtueshudderedatthesightofher;andVicehadgotherfortherestofherdays。Shockingandcommon,asItoldyou。ItmadenodifferencetoME。Ihavesaiditalready——Isayitagain——Iwasamanbewitched。Isthereanythingsoverywonderfulinthat?JustrememberwhoIwas。Amongthehonestwomeninmyownstationinlife,wherecouldIhavefoundthelikeofHER?CouldTHEYwalkasshewalked?andlookasshelooked?WhenTHEYgavemeakiss,didtheirlipslingeroveritashersdid?HadTHEYherskin,herlaugh,herfoot,herhand,hertouch?SHEneverhadaspeckofdirtonher:Itellyouherfleshwasaperfume。Whensheembracedme,herarmsfoldedroundmelikethewingsofangels;andhersmilecoveredmesoftlywithitslightlikethesuninheaven。I
leaveyoutolaughatme,ortocryoverme,justasyourtempermayincline。Iamnottryingtoexcusemyself——Iamtryingtoexplain。Youaregentle-folks;whatdazzledandmaddenedME,iseverydayexperiencetoYOU。Fallenornot,angelordevil,itcametothis——shewasalady;andIwasagroom。
Beforethehousewasastir,Igotherawaybytheworkmen’strain
toalargemanufacturingtowninourparts。
Here——withmysavingsinmoneytohelpher——shecouldgetheroutfitofdecentclothesandherlodgingamongstrangerswhoaskednoquestionssolongastheywerepaid。Here——nowononepretenseandnowonanother——Icouldvisither,andwecouldbothplantogetherwhatourfuturelivesweretobe。IneednottellyouthatIstoodpledgedtomakehermywife。Amaninmystationalwaysmarriesawomanofhersort。
DoyouwonderifIwashappyatthistime?Ishouldhavebeenperfectlyhappybutforonelittledrawback。Itwasthis:Iwasneverquiteatmyeaseinthepresenceofmypromisedwife。
Idon’tmeanthatIwasshywithher,orsuspiciousofher,orashamedofher。TheuneasinessIamspeakingofwascausedbyafaintdoubtinmymindwhetherIhadnotseenhersomewhere,beforethemorningwhenwemetatthedoctor’shouse。Overandoveragain,Ifoundmyselfwonderingwhetherherfacedidnotremindmeofsomeotherface——whatotherInevercouldtell。Thisstrangefeeling,thisonequestionthatcouldneverbeanswered,vexedmetoadegreethatyouwouldhardlycredit。Itcamebetweenusatthestrangesttimes——oftenest,however,atnight,whenthecandleswerelit。Youhaveknownwhatitistotryandrememberaforgottenname——andtofail,searchasyoumay,tofinditinyourmind。Thatwasmycase。Ifailedtofindmylostface,justasyoufailedtofindyourlostname。
Inthreeweekswehadtalkedmattersover,andhadarrangedhowI
wastomakeacleanbreastofitathome。ByAlicia’sadvice,I
wastodescribeherashavingbeenoneofmyfellowservantsduringthetimeIwasemployedundermykindmasterandmistressinLondon。Therewasnofearnowofmymothertakinganyharmfromtheshockofagreatsurprise。Herhealthhadimprovedduringthethreeweeks’interval。Onthefirsteveningwhenshewasabletotakeheroldplaceatteatime,Isummonedmycourage,andtoldherIwasgoingtobemarried。Thepoorsoulflungherarmsroundmyneck,andburstoutcryingforjoy。“Oh,Francis!“shesays,“IamsogladyouwillhavesomebodytocomfortyouandcareforyouwhenIamgone!“AsformyauntChance,youcananticipatewhatSHE
did,withoutbeingtold。Ah,me!Iftherehadreallybeenanypropheticvirtueinthecards,whataterriblewarningtheymighthavegivenusthatnight!ItwasarrangedthatIwastobringmypromisedwifetodinneratthecottageonthenextday。
IownIwasproudofAliciawhenIledherintoourlittleparlorattheappointedtime。Shehadnever,tomymind,lookedsobeautifulasshelookedthatday。Inevernoticedanyotherwoman’sdress——InoticedhersascarefullyasifIhadbeenawomanmyself!Sheworeablacksilkgown,withplaincollarandcuffs,andamodestlavender-coloredbonnet,withonewhiteroseinitplacedattheside。Mymother,dressedinherSundaybest,roseup,allinaflutter,towelcomeherdaughter-in-lawthatwastobe。Shewalkedforwardafewsteps,halfsmiling,halfintears——
shelookedAliciafullintheface——andsuddenlystoodstill。Hercheeksturnedwhiteinaninstant;hereyesstaredinhorror;herhandsdroppedhelplesslyathersides。Shestaggeredback,andfellintothearmsofmyaunt,standingbehindher。Itwasnoswoon——shekepthersenses。HereyesturnedslowlyfromAliciatome。“Francis,“shesaid,“doesthatwoman’sfaceremindyouofnothing?“
BeforeIcouldanswer,shepointedtoherwriting-deskonthetableatthefireside。“Bringit!“shecried,“bringit!“
AtthesamemomentIfeltAlicia’shandonmyshoulder,andsawAlicia’sfaceredwithanger——andnowonder!
“Whatdoesthismean?“sheasked。“Doesyourmotherwanttoinsultme?“
Isaidafewwordstoquiether;whattheywereIdon’tremember——I
wassoconfusedandastonishedatthetime。BeforeIhaddone,I
heardmymotherbehindme。
Myaunthadfetchedherdesk。Shehadopenedit;shehadtakenapaperfromit。Stepbystep,helpingherselfalongbythewall,shecamenearerandnearer,withthepaperinherhand。Shelookedatthepaper——shelookedinAlicia’sface——sheliftedthelong,loosesleeveofhergown,andexaminedherhandandarm。IsawfearsuddenlytaketheplaceofangerinAlicia’seyes。Sheshookherselffreeofmymother’sgrasp。“Mad!“shesaidtoherself,“andFrancisnevertoldme!“Withthosewordssheranoutoftheroom。
Iwashasteningoutafterher,whenmymothersignedtometostop。
Shereadthewordswrittenonthepaper。Whiletheyfellslowly,onebyone,fromherlips,shepointedtowardtheopendoor。
“Lightgrayeyes,withadroopinthelefteyelid。Flaxenhair,withagold-yellowstreakinit。Whitearms,withadownuponthem。Little,lady’shand,witharosy-redlookaboutthefingernails。TheDreamWoman,Francis!TheDreamWoman!“
Somethingdarkenedtheparlorwindowasthosewordswerespoken。I
lookedsidelongattheshadow。AliciaWarlockhadcomeback!Shewaspeeringinatusoverthelowwindowblind。Therewasthefatalfacewhichhadfirstlookedatmeinthebedroomofthelonelyinn。There,restingonthewindowblind,wasthelovelylittlehandwhichhadheldthemurderousknife。IHADseenherbeforewemetinthevillage。TheDreamWoman!TheDreamWoman!
XI
IexpectnobodytoapproveofwhatIhavenexttotellofmyself。
InthreeweeksfromthedaywhenmymotherhadidentifiedherwiththeWomanoftheDream,ItookAliciaWarlocktochurch,andmadehermywife。Iwasamanbewitched。AgainandagainIsayit——I
wasamanbewitched!
Duringtheintervalbeforemymarriage,ourlittlehouseholdatthecottagewasbrokenup。Mymotherandmyauntquarreled。Mymother,believingintheDream,entreatedmetobreakoffmyengagement。Myaunt,believinginthecards,urgedmetomarry。
Thisdifferenceofopinionproducedadisputebetweenthem,inthecourseofwhichmyauntChance——quiteunconsciousofhavinganysuperstitiousfeelingsofherown——actuallysetoutthecardswhichprophesiedhappinesstomeinmymarriedlife,andaskedmymotherhowanybodybut“ablindedheathencouldbefuleenough,afterseeingthosecairds,tobelieveinadream!“Thiswas,naturally,toomuchformymother’spatience;hardwordsfollowedoneitherside;Mrs。ChancereturnedindudgeontoherfriendsinScotland。
Sheleftmeawrittenstatementofmyfutureprospects,asrevealedbythecards,andwithitanaddressatwhichapost-officeorderwouldreachher。“Thedaywasnotthatfaroff,“sheremarked,“whenFranciemightrememberwhatheowedtohisauntChance,maintainingherainunbleemishedwidowhoodonthrattypundsayear。“
Havingrefusedtogivehersanctiontomymarriage,mymotheralsorefusedtobepresentatthewedding,ortovisitAliciaafterwards。Therewasnoangeratthebottomofthisconductonherpart。BelievingasshedidinthisDream,shewassimplyinmortalfearofmywife。Iunderstoodthis,andImadeallowancesforher。Notacrosswordpassedbetweenus。Myonehappyremembrancenow——thoughIdiddisobeyherinthematterofmymarriage——isthis:Ilovedandrespectedmygoodmothertothelast。
Asformywife,sheexpressednoregretattheestrangementbetweenhermother-in-lawandherself。Bycommonconsent,weneverspokeonthatsubject。WesettledinthemanufacturingtownwhichIhavealreadymentioned,andwekeptalodging-house。Mykindmaster,atmyrequest,grantedmealumpsuminplaceofmyannuity。Thisputusintoagoodhouse,decentlyfurnished。Forawhilethingswentwellenough。Imaydescribemyselfatthistimeofmylifeasahappyman。
Mymisfortunesbeganwithareturnofthecomplaintwithwhichmymotherhadalreadysuffered。Thedoctorconfessed,whenIaskedhimthequestion,thattherewasdangertobedreadedthistime。
Naturally,afterhearingthis,Iwasagooddealawayatthecottage。Naturallyalso,Ileftthebusinessoflookingafterthehouse,inmyabsence,tomywife。Littlebylittle,Ifoundherbeginningtoaltertowardme。Whilemybackwasturned,sheformedacquaintanceswithpeopleofthedoubtfulanddissipatedsort。Oneday,Iobservedsomethinginhermannerwhichforcedthesuspiciononmethatshehadbeendrinking。Beforetheweekwasout,mysuspicionwasacertainty。Fromkeepingcompanywithdrunkards,shehadgrowntobeadrunkardherself。