ThenItoldhimallaboutit。Hewasdeeplyinterested,especiallywhenItoldhimthatthepipewasdrugged。ButwhenIrepeatedTress’swordsaboutitsbeinghaunted,andmentionedmyowndelusionaboutthecreaturemoving,hetookamoreseriousviewofthecasethanIhadexpectedhewoulddo。
“IproposethatweactonTress’ssuggestion,andgoandmakeinquiriesofhim。“
“Butyoudon’treallythinkthatthereisanythinginit?“
“OnthesesubjectsIneverallowmyselftothinkatall。ThereareTress’swords,andthereisyourstory。Itisagreedonallhandsthatthepipehaspeculiarproperties。Itseemstomethatthereisasufficientcaseheretomeritinquiry。“
Hepersuadedme。Iwentwithhim。Thepipe,inthesandalwoodbox,wenttoo。Tressreceiveduswithagrin——agrinwhichwasaccentuatedwhenIplacedthesandalwoodboxonthetable。
“Youunderstand,“hesaid,“thatagiftisagift。OnnotermswillIconsenttoreceivethatpipebackinmypossession。“
Iwasrathernettledbyhistone。
“Youneedbeundernoalarm。Ihavenointentionofsuggestinganythingofthekind。“
“Ourbusinesshere,“beganBrasher——Imustownthathismannerisalittleponderous——“isofascientific,Imaysayalso,andatthesametime,ofajudicialnature。OurobjectisthePursuitofTruthandtheAdvancementofInquiry。“
“Haveyoubeentryinganothersmoke?“inquiredTress,noddinghisheadtowardme。
BeforeIhadtimetoanswer,Brasherwentdroningon:
“Ourfriendheretellsmethatyousaythispipeishaunted。“
“IsayitishauntedbecauseitIShaunted。“
IlookedatTress。Ihalfsuspectedthathewaspokingfunatus。
Butheappearedtobeseriousenough。
“Inthesematters,“remarkedBrasher,asthoughheweregivingutterancetoanewandimportanttruth,“thereisascientificandnonscientificmethodofinquiry。Thescientificmethodistobeginatthebeginning。MayIaskhowthispipecameintoyourpossession?“
Tresspausedbeforeheanswered。
“Youmayask。“Hepausedagain。“Oh,youcertainlymayask。Butitdoesn’tfollowthatIshalltellyou。“
“Surelyyourobject,likeours,canbebuttheSpreadingAboutoftheTruth?“
“Idon’tseeitatall。Itispossibletoimagineacaseinwhichthespreadingaboutofthetruthmightmakemelookalittleawkward。“
“Indeed!“Brasherpurseduphislips。“Yourwordswouldalmostleadonetosupposethattherewassomethingaboutyourmethodofacquiringthepipewhichyouhavegoodandweightyreasonsforconcealing。“
“Idon’tknowwhyIshouldconcealthethingfromyou。Idon’tsupposeeitherofyouisanybetterthanIam。Idon’tmindtellingyouhowIgotthepipe。Istoleit。“
“Stoleit!“
Brasherseemedbothamazedandshocked。ButI,whohadpreviousexperienceofTress’smethodsofaddingtohiscollection,wasnotatallsurprised。Someofthepipeswhichhecallshis,ifonlythewholetruthaboutthemwerepubliclyknown,wouldsendhimtojail。
“That’snothing!“hecontinued。“Allcollectorssteal!Theeighthcommandmentwasnotintendedtoapplytothem。Why,Pughtherehas’conveyed’threefourthsofthepipeswhichheflattershimselfarehis。“
Iwassodumfounderedbythechargethatittookmybreathaway。I
satinastoundedsilence。Tresswentravingon:
“IwassoshyofthisparticularpipewhenIhadobtainedit,thatIputitawayforquitethreemonths。WhenItookitouttohavealookatitsomethingaboutthethingsotickledmethatIresolvedtosmokeit。Owingtopeculiarcircumstancesattendingthemannerinwhichthethingcameintomypossession,andonwhichIneednotdwell——youdon’tliketodwellonthosesortofthings,doyou,Pugh?——Iknewreallynothingaboutthepipe。AswasthecasewithPugh,onepeculiarityIlearnedfromactualexperience。ItwasalsofromactualexperiencethatIlearnedthatthethingwas——
well,Isaidhaunted,butyoumayuseanyotherwordyoulike。“
“Tellus,asbrieflyaspossible,whatitwasyoureallydiddiscover。“
“Takethepipeoutofthebox!“Brashertookthepipeoutoftheboxandhelditinhishand。“Youseethatcreatureonit。Well,whenIfirsthadititwasunderneaththepipe。“
“Howdoyoumeanthatitwasunderneaththepipe?“
“Itwasbunchedtogetherunderneaththestem,justattheendofthemouthpiece,inthesamewayinwhichaflymightbesuspendedfromtheceiling。WhenIbegantosmokethepipeIsawthecreaturemove。“
“ButIthoughtthatunconsciousnessimmediatelyfollowed。“
“Itdidfollow,butnotbeforeIsawthatthethingwasmoving。ItwasbecauseIthoughtthatIhadbeen,inaway,avictimofdeliriumthatItriedthesecondsmoke。SuspectingthatthethingwasdruggedIswallowedwhatIbelievedwouldproveapowerfulantidote。Itenabledmetoresisttheinfluenceofthenarcoticmuchlongerthanbefore,andwhileIstillretainedmysensesIsawthecreaturecrawlalongunderthestemandoverthebowl。Itwasthatsight,Ibelieve,asmuchasanythingelse,whichsentmesilly。WhenIcametoIthenandtheredecidedtopresentthepipetoPugh。ThereisonemorethingIwouldremark。Whenthepipeleftmethecreature’slegsweretwinedaboutthebowl。Nowtheyarewithdrawn。Possiblyyou,Pugh,areabletocapmystorywithalittleonewhichisallyourown。“
“IcertainlydidimaginethatIsawthecreaturemove。ButI
supposedthatwhileIwasundertheinfluenceofthedrugimaginationhadplayedmeatrick。“
“Notabitofit!Dependuponit,thebeastisbewitched。Eventomyeyeitlooksasthoughitwere,andtoatrainedeyelikeyours,Pugh!You’vebeenlookingforthedevilalongtime,andyou’vegothimatlast。“
“I——Iwishyouwouldn’tmakethoseremarks,Tress。Theyjaronme。“
“Iconfess,“interpolatedBrasher——Inoticedthathehadputthepipedownonthetableasthoughheweretiredofholdingit——
“that,toMYthinking,suchremarksarenotappropriate。Atthesametimewhatyouhavetoldusis,Iamboundtoallow,alittlecurious。ButofcoursewhatIrequireisoculardemonstration。I
haven’tseenthemovementmyself。“
“No,butyouverysoonwilldoifyoucaretohaveapullatthepipeonyourownaccount。Do,Brasher,toobligeme!There’sadear!“
“Itappears,then,thatthemovementisonlyobservablewhenthepipeissmoked。WehaveatleastarrivedatstepNo。1。“
“Here’samatch,Brasher!Lightup,andweshallhavearrivedatstepNo。2。“
TresslitamatchandhelditouttoBrasher。Brasherretreatedfromitsneighborhood。
“Thankyou,Mr。Tress,Iamnosmoker,asyouareaware。AndI
havenodesiretoacquiretheartofsmokingbymeansofapoisonedpipe。“
Tresslaughed。Heblewoutthematchandthrewitintothegrate。
“ThenItellyouwhatI’lldo——I’llhaveupBob。“
“Bob——whyBob?“
“Bob“——whoserealnamewasRobertHaines,thoughIshouldthinkhemusthaveforgottenthefact,soseldomwasheaddressedbyit——wasTress’sservant。Hehadbeenanoldsoldier,andhadaccompaniedhismasterwhenhelefttheservice。HewasasdepravedacharacterasTresshimself。Iamnotsureeventhathewasnotworsethanhismaster。Ishallneverforgethowheoncebehavedtowardmyself。HeactuallyhadtheassurancetoaccusemeofattemptingtostealtheWardourStreetrelicwhichTressfondlydeludeshimselfwasoncethepropertyofSirWalterRaleigh。ThetruthisthatIhadslippeditwithmyhandkerchiefintomypocketinafitofabsenceofmind。AmanwhocouldaccuseMEofsuchathingwouldbeguiltyofanything。IwasthereforequiteatonewithBrasherwhenheaskedwhatBobcouldpossiblybewantedfor。
Tressexplained。
“I’llgethimtosmokethepipe,“hesaid。
BrasherandIexchangedglances,butwerefrainedfromspeech。
“Itwon’tdohimanyharm,“saidTress。
“What——notapoisonedpipe?“askedBrasher。
“It’snotpoisoned——it’sonlydrugged。“
“ONLYdrugged!“
“NothinghurtsBob。Heislikeanostrich。Hehasdigestiveorganswhicharepeculiarlyhisown。Itwillonlyservehimasitservedme——andPugh——itwillknockhimover。ItisalldoneinthePursuitofTruthandfortheAdvancementofInquiry。“
IcouldseethatBrasherdidnotaltogetherlikethetoneinwhichTressrepeatedhiswords。Asforme,itwasnottobesupposedthatIshouldputmyselfoutinamatterwhichinnowayconcernedme。IfTresschosetopoisontheman,itwashisaffair,notmine。
Hewenttothedoorandshouted:
“Bob!Comehere,youscoundrel!“
Thatisthewayinwhichhespeakstohim。Noreallydecentservantwouldstandit。Ishouldn’tcaretoaddressNalder,myservant,insuchaway。Hewouldgivemenoticeonthespot。Bobcamein。Heisagreathulkingfellowwhoisalwaysonthegrin。
Tresshadadecanterofbrandyinhishand。Hefilledatumblerwiththeneatspirit。
“Bob,whatwouldyousaytoaglassfulofbrandy——therealthing——
myboy?“
“Thankyou,sir。“
“Andwhatwouldyousaytoapullatapipewhenthebrandyisdrunk!“
“Apipe?“Thefellowissharpenoughwhenhelikes。Isawhimlookatthepipeuponthetable,andthenatus,andthenagleamofintelligencecameintohiseyes。“I’ddoitforadollar,sir。“
“Adollar,youthief?“
“Imeanttenshillings,sir。“
“Tenshillings,youbrazenvagabond?“
“Ishouldhavesaidapound。“
“Apound!Waseverthelikeofthat!DoIunderstandyoutoaskapoundfortakingapullatyourmaster’spipe?“
“I’mthinkingthatI’llhavetomakeittwo。“
“Thedeuceyouare!Here,Pugh,lendmeapound。“
“I’mafraidI’veleftmypursebehind。“
“Thenlendmetenshillings——Ananias!“
“IdoubtifIhavemorethanfive。“
“Thengivemethefive。And,Brasher,lendmetheotherfifteen。“
Brasherlenthimthefifteen。Idoubtifweshalleitherofuseverseeourmoneyagain。HehandedthepoundtoBob。
“Here’sthebrandy——drinkitup!“Bobdrankitwithoutaword,drainingtheglassofeverydrop。“Andhere’sthepipe。“
“Isitpoisoned,sir?“
“Poisoned,youvillain!Whatdoyoumean?“
“Itisn’tthefirsttimeI’veseenyourtricks,sir——isitnow?
Andyou’renottheonetogiveapoundfornothingatall。Ifitkillsmeyou’llsendmybodytomymother——she’dliketoknowthatIwasdead。“
“Sendyourbodytoyourgrandmother!Youidiot,sitdownandsmoke!“
Bobsatdown。Tresshadfilledthepipe,andhandedit,withalightedmatch,toBob。Thefellowdeclinedthematch。Hehandledthepipeverygingerly,turningitoverandover,eyingitwithallhiseyes。
“Thankyou,sir——I’lllightupmyselfifit’sthesametoyou。I
carrymatchesofmyown。It’sabeautifulpipe,entirely。Ineverseethelikeofitforugliness。Andwhat’stheslimy-lookingvarmintthatlooksasthoughitwouldliketohavemylife?Isitliving,orisitdead?“
“Come,wedon’twanttosithereallday,myman!“
“Well,sir,thelookofthisherepipehasquiteupsetmystomach。
I’dlikeanotherdropofliquor,ifit’sthesametoyou。“
“Anotherdrop!Why,you’vehadatumblerfulalready!Here’sanothertumblerfultoputontopofthat。Youwon’twantthepipetokillyou——you’llbekilledbeforeyougettoit。“
“Andisn’titbettertodieanaturaldeath?“