`Idon’tknowwhetheritwasthedemoralizationofmyutterdefeatinmyencounterwithaspectreoffearlessthananhourago，butIlethimcapturemewithoutevenashowofresistance。Iwasdoomedtobetherecipientofconfidences，andtobeconfrontedwithunanswerablequestions。Itwastrying；butthecontempt，theunreasonedcontempt，theman’sappearanceprovoked，madeiteasiertobear。Hecouldn’tpossiblymatter。Nothingmattered，sinceIhadmadeupmymindthatJim，forwhomaloneIcared，hadatlastmasteredhisfate。Hehadtoldmehewassatisfied……nearly。
　　Thisisgoingfurtherthanmostofusdare。I——whohavetherighttothinkmyselfgoodenough——darenot。Neitherdoesanyofyouhere，Isuppose？……’
　　Marlowpaused，asifexpectingananswer。Nobodyspoke。
　　`Quiteright，’hebeganagain。`Letnosoulknow，sincethetruthcanbewrungoutofusonlybysomecruel，little，awfulcatastrophe。Butheisoneofus，andhecouldsayhewassatisfied……nearly。Justfancythis!Nearlysatisfied。Onecouldalmostenvyhimhiscatastrophe。Nearlysatisfied。Afterthisnothingcouldmatter。Itdidnotmatterwhosuspectedhim，whotrustedhim，wholovedhim，whohatedhim——especiallyasitwasCorneliuswhohatedhim。
　　`Yetafterallthiswasakindofrecognition。Youshalljudgeofamanbyhisfoesaswellasbyhisfriends，andthisenemyofJimwassuchasnodecentmanwouldbeashamedtoown，without，however，makingtoomuchofhim。ThiswastheviewJimtook，andinwhichIshared；butJimdisregardedhimongeneralgrounds。“MydearMarlow，“hesaid，“IfeelthatifIgostraightnothingcantouchme。IndeedIdo。Nowyouhavebeenlongenoughheretohaveagoodlookround——and，frankly，don’tyouthinkIamprettysafe？Italldependsuponme，and，byJove!Ihavelotsofconfidenceinmyself。Theworstthinghecoulddowouldbetokillme，Isuppose。Idon’tthinkforamomenthewould。Hecouldn’t，youknow——notifIweremyselftohandhimaloadedrifleforthepurpose，andthenturnmybackonhim。That’sthesortofthingheis。Andsupposehewould——supposehecould？Well——whatofthat？Ididn’tcomehereflyingformylife——didI？Icameheretosetmybackagainstthewall，andIamgoingtostayhere……
　　“`Tillyouarequitesatisfied，“Istruckin。
　　`Weweresittingatthetimeundertheroofinthesternofhisboat；
　　twentypaddlesflashedlikeone，tenonaside，strikingthewaterwithasinglesplash，whilebehindourbacksTamb’Itamdippedsilentlyrightandleft，andstaredrightdownthetheriver，attentivetokeepthelongcanoesinthegreateststrengthofthecurrent。Jimbowedhishead，andourlasttalkseemedtoflickeroutforgood。Hewasseeingmeoffasfarasthemouthoftheriver。Theschoonerhadleftthedaybefore，workingdownanddriftingontheebb，whileIhadprolongedmystayovernight。
　　Andnowhewasseeingmeoff。
　　`JimhadbeenalittleangrywithmeformentioningCorneliusatall。
　　Ihadnot，intruth，saidmuch。Themanwastooinsignificanttobedangerous，thoughhewasasfullofhateashecouldhold。Hehadcalledme“honourablesir“ateverysecondsentence，andhadwhinedatmyelbowashefollowedmefromthegraveofhis“latewife“tothegateofJim’scompound。Hedeclaredhimselfthemostunhappyofmen，avictim，crushedlikeaworm；
　　heentreatedmetolookathim。Iwouldn’tturnmyheadtodoso；butI
　　couldseeoutofthecornerofmyeyehisobsequiousshadowglidingaftermine，whilethemoon，suspendedonourrighthand，seemedtogloatserenelyuponthespectacle。Hetriedtoexplain——asI’vetoldyou——hisshareintheeventsofthememorablenight。Itwasamatterofexpediency。Howcouldheknowwhowasgoingtogettheupperhand？“Iwouldhavesavedhim，honourablesir!Iwouldhavesavedhimforeightydollars，“heprotestedindulcettones，keepingapacebehindme。“Hehadsavedhimself，“Isaid，“andhehasforgivenyou。“Iheardasortoftittering，andturneduponhim；atonceheappearedreadytotaketohisheels。“Whatareyoulaughingat？“
　　Iasked，standingstill。“Don’tbedeceived，honourablesir!“heshrieked，seeminglylosingallcontroloverhisfeelings。“Hesavehimself!
　　Heknowsnothing，honourablesir——nothingwhatever。Whoishe？Whatdoeshewanthere——thebigthief？Whatdoeshewanthere？Hethrowsdustintoeverybody’seyes；hethrowsdustintoyoureyes，honourablesir；buthecan’tthrowdustintomyeyes。Heisabigfool，honourablesir。“Ilaughedcontemptuously，and，turningonmyheel，begantowalkonagain。Heranuptomyelbowsandwhisperedforcibly，“He’snomorethanalittlechildhere——likealittlechild——alittlechild。“OfcourseIdidn’ttaketheslightestnotice，andseeingthetimepressed，becausewewereapproachingthebamboofencethatglitteredovertheblackenedgroundoftheclearing，hecametothepoint。Hecommencedbybeingabjectlylachrymose。Hisgreatmisfortuneshadaffectedhishead。HehopedIwouldkindlyforgetwhatnothingbuthistroublesmadehimsay。Hedidn’tmeananythingbyit；onlythehonourablesirdidnotknowwhatitwastoberuined，brokendown，trampledupon。Afterthisintroductionheapproachedthematternearhisheart，butinsucharambling，ejaculatory，cravenfashion，thatforalongtimeIcouldn’tmakeoutwhathewasdrivingat。HewantedmetointercedewithJiminhisfavour。Itseemed，too，tobesomesortofmoneyaffair。
　　Iheardtimeandagainthewords，“Moderateprovision——suitablepresent。“
　　Heseemedtobeclaimingvalueforsomething，andheevenwentthelengthofsayingwithsomewarmththatlifewasnotworthhavingifamanweretoberobbedofeverything。Ididnotbreatheaword，ofcourse，butneitherdidIstopmyears。Thegistoftheaffair，whichbecamecleartomegradually，wasinthis，thatheregardedhimselfasentitledtosomemoneyinexchangeforthegirl。Hehadbroughtherup。Somebodyelse’schild。Greattroublesandpains——oldmannow——suitablepresent。Ifthehonourablesirwouldsayaword……Istoodstilltolookathimwithcuriosity，andfearfullestIshouldthinkhimextortionate，Isuppose，hehastilybroughthimselftomakeaconcession。Inconsiderationofa“suitablepresent“givenatonce，hewould，hedeclared，bewillingtoundertakethechargeofthegirl，“withoutanyotherprovision——whenthetimecameforthegentlemantogohome。“Hislittleyellowface，allcrumpledasthoughithadbeensqueezedtogether，expressedthemostanxious，eageravarice。Hisvoicewhinedcoaxingly，“Nomoretrouble——naturalguardian——asumofmoney……“
　　`Istoodthereandmarvelled。Thatkindofthing，withhim，wasevidentlyavocation。Idiscoveredsuddenlyinhiscringingattitudeasortofassurance，asthoughhehadbeenallhislifedealingincertitudes。HemusthavethoughtIwasdispassionatelyconsideringhisproposal，becausehebecameassweetashoney。“Everygentlemanmadeaprovisionwhenthetimecametogohome，“hebegan，insinuatingly。Islammedthelittlegate。“Inthiscase，Mr。Cornelius，“Isaid，“thetimeshallnevercome。“Hetookafewsecondstogatherthisin。“What!“hefairlysquealed。“Why，“Icontinuedfrommysideofthegate，“haven’tyouheardhimsaytohimself？Hewillnevergohome。““Oh!thisistoomuch，“heshouted。Hewouldnotaddressmeas“honourablesir“anymore。Hewasverystillforatime，andthenwithoutatraceofhumilitybeganverylow：“Nevergo——ah!He——he——hecomesheredevilknowsfromwhere——comeshere——devilknowswhy——totrampleonmetillIdie——ah——trample“hestampedsoftlywithbothfeet，“tramplelikethis——nobodyknowswhy——tillIdie……“Hisvoicebecamequiteextinct；hewasbotheredbyalittlecough；hecameupclosetothefenceandtoldme，droppingintoaconfidentialandpiteoustone，thathewouldnotbetrampledupon。“Patience——patience，“hemuttered，strikinghisbreast。Ihaddonelaughingathim，butunexpectedlyhetreatedmetoawildcrackedburstofit。“Ha!ha!ha!Weshallsee!Weshallsee!
　　What!Stealfromme？Stealfrommeeverything!Everything!Everything!“
　　Hisheaddroopedononeshoulder，hishandswerehangingbeforehimlightlyclasped。Onewouldhavethoughthehadcherishedthegirlwithsurpassinglove，thathisspirithadbeencrushedandhisheartbrokenbythemostcruelofspoliations。Suddenlyheliftedhisheadandshotoutaninfamousword。“Likehermother——sheislikeherdeceitfulmother。Exactly。Inherface，too。Inherface。Thedevil!“Heleanedhisforeheadagainstthefence，andinthatpositionutteredthreatsandhorribleblasphemiesinPortugueseinveryweakejaculations，mingledwithmiserableplaintsandgroans，comingoutwithaheaveoftheshouldersasthoughhehadbeenovertakenbyadeadlyfitofsickness。Itwasaninexpressiblygrotesqueandvileperformance，andIhastenedaway。Hetriedtoshoutsomethingafterme。SomedisparagementofJim，Ibelive——nottooloudthough，weweretoonearthehouse。AllIhearddistinctlywas，“Nomorethanalittlechild——alittlechild。“’
　　LordJim：Chapter35CHAPTERXXXV`BUTnextmorning，atthefirstbendoftherivershuttingoffthehousesofPatusan，allthisdroppedoutofmysightbodily，withitscolour，itsdesign，anditsmeaning，likeapicturecreatedbyfancyonacanvas，uponwhich，afterlongcontemplation，youturnyourbackforthelasttime。Itremainsinthememorymotionless，unfaded，withitslifearrested，inanunchanginglight。Therearetheambitions，thefears，thehate，thehopes，andtheyremaininmymindjustasIhadseenthem——intenseandasifforeversuspendedintheirexpression。Ihadturnedawayfromthepictureandwasgoingbacktotheworldwhereeventsmove，menchange，lightflickers，lifeflowsinaclearstream，nomatterwhetherovermudoroverstones。Iwasn’tgoingtodiveintoit；Iwouldhaveenoughtodotokeepmyheadabovethesurface。ButastowhatIwasleavingbehind，Icannotimagineanyalteration。TheimmenseandmagnanimousDoraminandhislittlemotherlywitchofawife，gazingtogetheruponthelandandnursingsecretlytheirdreamsofparentalambition；TunjuAllang，wizenedandgreatlyperplexed；DainWaris，intelligentandbrave，withhisfaithinJim，withhisfirmglanceandhisironicfriendliness；thegirl，absorbedinherfrightened，suspiciousadoration；Tamb’Itam，surlyandfaithful；
　　Cornelius，leaninghisforeheadagainstthefenceunderthemoonlight——I
　　amcertainofthem。Theyexistasifunderanenchanter’swand。Butthefigureroundwhichallthesearegrouped——thatonelives，andIamnotcertainofhim。Nomagician’swandcanimmobilizehimundermyeyes。Heisoneofus。
　　`Jim，asI’vetoldyou，accompaniedmeonthefirststageofmyjourneybacktotheworldhehadrenounced，andthewayattimesseemedtoleadthroughtheveryheartofuntouchedwilderness。Theemptyreachessparkledunderthehighsun；betweenthehighwallsofvegetationtheheatdrowseduponthewater，andtheboat，impelledvigorously，cutherwaythroughtheairthatseemedtohavesettleddenseandwarmundertheshelterofloftytrees。
　　`Theshadowoftheimpendingseparationhadalreadyputanimmensespacebetweenus，andwhenwespokeitwaswithaneffort，asiftoforceourlowvoicesacrossavastandincreasingdistance。Theboatfairlyflew；
　　weswelteredsidebysideinthestagnantsuperheatedair；thesmellofmud，ofmarsh，theprimevalsmelloffecundearth，seemedtostingourfaces；tillsuddenlyatabenditwasasifagreathandfarawayhadliftedaheavycurtain，hadflungopenanimmenseportal。Thelightitselfseemedtostir，theskyaboveourheadswidened，afar-offmurmurreachedourears，afreshnessenvelopedus，filledourlungs，quickenedourthoughts，ourblood，ourregrets——and，straightahead，theforestssankdownagainstthedark-blueridgeofthesea。
　　`Ibreatheddeeply，Irevelledinthevastnessoftheopenedhorizon，inthedifferentatmospherethatseemedtovibratewithatoiloflife，withtheenergyofanimpeccableworld。Thisskyandthisseawereopentome。Thegirlwasright——therewasasign，acallinthem——somethingtowhichIrespondedwitheveryfibreofmybeing。Iletmyeyesroamthroughspace，likeamanreleasedfrombondswhostretcheshiscrampedlimbs，runs，leaps，respondstotheinspiringelationoffreedom。“Thisisglorious!“
　　Icried，andthenIlookedatthesinnerbymyside。Hesatwithhisheadsunkonhisbreastandsaid“Yes，“withoutraisinghiseyes，asifafraidtoseewritlargeontheclearskyoftheoffingthereproachofhisromanticconscience。
　　`Irememberthesmallestdetailsofthatafternoon。Welandedonabitofwhitebeach。Itwasbackedbyalowcliffwoodedonthebrow，drapedincreeperstotheveryfoot。Belowustheplainofthesea，ofasereneandintenseblue，stretchedwithaslightupwardtilttothethread-likehorizondrawnattheheightofoureyes。Greatwavesofglitterblewlightlyalongthepitteddarksurface，asswiftasfeatherschasedbythebreeze。