do,andnevershallknowmuchofit,this,Isay,sobroughtherround,thatallherfearwasnowforme,andhowtogetmesafelyoff,withoutmischancetoanyone。Andsoothtosay,inspiteoflongingjusttoseeifMasterCarvercouldhaveservedmesuchatrick——asitgrewtowardsthedusk,Iwasnotbestpleasedtobethere;foritseemedalawlessplace,andsomeofLorna’sfrightstayedwithmeasItalkeditawayfromher。
  AfterhearingthattalefromLorna,Iwenthomeinsorryspirits,havingaddedfearforher,andmiseryabout,toallmyotherailments。Andwasitnotquitecertainnowthatshe,beingownedfullcousintoapeerandlordofScotlandalthoughhewasadeadone,musthavenoughttodowithme,ayeoman’sson,andboundtobethefatherofmoreyeomen?IhadbeenverysorrywhenfirstIheardaboutthatpooryoungpopinjay,andwouldgladlyhavefoughthardforhim;butnowitstruckmethatafterallhehadnorighttobethere,prowlingasitwereforLorna,withoutanyinvitation:andwefarmerslovenottrespass。Still,ifIhadseenthething,Imusthavetriedtosavehim。
  Moreover,Iwasgreatlyvexedwithmyownhesitation,stupidity,orshyness,orwhateverelseitwas,whichhadheldmebackfromsaying,ereshetoldherstory,whatwasinmyhearttosay,videlicet,thatImustdieunlesssheletmeloveher。NotthatIwasfoolenoughtothinkthatshewouldanswermeaccordingtomyliking,orbegintocareaboutmeforalongtimeyet;
  ifindeedsheevershould,whichIhardlydaredtohope。ButthatIhadheardfrommenmoreskillfulinthematterthatitiswisetobeintime,thatsothemaidsmaybegintothink,whentheyknowthattheyarethoughtof。And,totellthetruth,Ihadbitterfears,onaccountofherwondrousbeauty,lestsomeyoungfellowofhigherbirthandfinerparts,andfinish,mightstealinbeforepoorme,andcutmeoutaltogether。Thinkingofwhich,Iusedtodoublemygreatfist,withoutknowingit,andkeepitinmypocketready。
  Buttheworstofallwasthis,thatinmygreatdismayandanguishtoseeLornaweepingso,Ihadpromisednottocauseheranyfurthertroublefromanxietyandfearofharm。Andthis,beingbroughttopractice,meantthatIwasnottoshowmyselfwithintheprecinctsofGlenDoone,foratleastanothermonth。UnlessindeedasIcontrivedtoedgeintotheagreementanythingshouldhappentoincreaseherpresenttroubleandeveryday’suneasiness。Inthatcase,shewastothrowadarkmantle,orcoveringofsomesort,overalargewhitestonewhichhungwithintheentrancetoherretreat——Imeantheouterentrance——andwhich,thoughunseenfromthevalleyitself,wasasIhadobserved
  conspicuousfromtheheightwhereIstoodwithUncleReuben。
  Nowcominghomesosadandweary,yettryingtoconsolemyselfwiththethoughtthatloveo’erleapethrank,andmuststillbelordofall,Ifoundashamefulthinggoingon,whichmademeveryangry。ForitneedsmusthappenthatyoungMarwooddeWhichehalse,onlysonoftheBaron,ridinghomethatveryevening,fromchasingoftheExmoorbustards,withhishoundsandserving-
  men,shouldtaketheshortcutthroughourfarmyard,andbeingdryfromhisexercise,shouldcomeandaskfordrink。AnditneedsmusthappenalsothatthereshouldbenonetogiveittohimbutmysisterAnnie。
  ImorethansuspectthathehadheardsomereportofourAnnie’scomeliness,andhadamindtosatisfyhimselfuponthesubject。Now,ashetookthelargeox-hornofourquarantine-appleciderwhichwealwayskeepapartfromtherest,beingtoogoodexceptforthequality,helethisfingersdwellonAnnie’s,bysomesortofaccident,whileheliftedhisbeavergallantly,andgazedonherfaceinthelightfromthewest。ThenwhatdidAnniedoassheherselftoldmeafterwards
  butmakeherverybestcurtseytohim,beingpleasedthathewaspleasedwithher,whileshethoughtwhatafineyoungmanhewasandsomuchbreedingabouthim!
  Andintruthhewasadark,handsomefellow,hasty,reckless,andchangeable,withalookofsaddestinyinhisblackeyesthatwouldmakeanywomanpityhim。
  WhathewasthinkingofourAnnieisnotformetosay,althoughImaythinkthatyoucouldnothavefoundanothersuchmaidenonExmoor,exceptofcoursemyLorna。
  ThoughyoungSquireMarwoodwassothirsty,hespentmuchtimeoverhiscider,oratanyrateovertheox-horn,andhemademanybowstoAnnie,anddrankhealthtoallthefamily,andspokeofmeasifIhadbeenhisverybestfriendatBlundell’s;whereasheknewwellenoughallthetimethatwehadnoughttosaytooneanother;hebeingthreeyearsolder,andthereforeofcoursedisdainingme。Butwhilehewascastingaboutperhapsforsomeexcusetostoplonger,andAnniewasbeginningtofearlestmothershouldcomeafterher,orElizabeatthewindow,orBettyupinpigs’house,suddenlytherecameuptothem,asiffromtheveryheartoftheearth,thatlong,low,hollow,mysterioussoundwhichIspokeofinwinter。
  Theyoungmanstartedinhissaddle,letthehornfallonthehorse-steps,andgazedallaroundinwonder;
  whileasforAnnie,sheturnedlikeaghost,andtriedtoslamthedoor,butfailedthroughtheviolenceofhertrembling;fornevertillnowhadanyonehearditsocloseathandasyoumightsayorinthemerefallofthetwilight。Andbythistimetherewasnoman,atleastinourparish,butknew——fortheParsonhimselfhadtoldusso——thatitwasthedevilgroaningbecausetheDoonesweretoomanyforhim。
  MarwooddeWhichehalsewasnotsoalarmedbutwhathesawafineopportunity。Heleapedfromhishorse,andlaidholdofdearAnnieinahighlycomfortingmanner;
  andsheneverwouldtellusaboutitbeingsoshyandmodest,whetherinbreathinghiscomforttoherhetriedtotakesomefromherpurelips。Ihopehedidnot,becausethattomewouldseemnotthedeedofagentleman,andhewasofgoodoldfamily。
  Atthisverymoment,whoshouldcomeintotheendofthepassageuponthembuttheheavywriterofthesedoingsI,JohnRiddmyself,andwalkingthefaster,itmaybe,onaccountofthenoiseImentioned。Ienteredthehousewithsomewrathuponmeatseeingthegazehoundsintheyard;foritseemsacruelthingtometoharassthebirdsinthebreeding-time。AndtomyamazementthereIsawSquireMarwoodamongthemilk-panswithhisarmaroundourAnnie’swaist,andAnnieallblushingandcoaxinghimoff,forshewasnotcometoscoldyet。
  PerhapsIwaswrong;Godknows,andifIwas,nodoubtIshallpayforit;butIgavehimtheflatofmyhandonhishead,anddownhewentinthethickofthemilk-pans。Hewouldhavehadmyfist,Idoubt,butforhavingbeenatschoolwithme;andafterthatitislikeenoughhewouldneverhavespokenanotherword。
  Asitwas,helaystunned,withthecreamrunningonhim;whileItookpoorAnnieupandcarriedherintomother,whohadheardthenoiseandwasfrightened。
  ConcerningthismatterIaskednomore,butheldmyselfreadytobearitoutinanyformconvenient,feelingthatIhaddonemyduty,andcarednotfortheconsequence;onlyforseveraldaysdearAnnieseemedfrightenedratherthangrateful。ButtheoddestresultofitwasthatEliza,whohadsodespisedme,andmadeveryrudeversesaboutme,nowcametryingtositonmyknee,andkissme,andgivemethebestofthepan。
  However,Iwouldnotallowit,becauseIhatesuddenchanges。
  Anotherthingalsoastonishedme——namely,abeautifulletterfromMarwooddeWhichehalsehimselfsentbyagroomsoonafterwards,inwhichheapologisedtome,asifIhadbeenhisequal,forhisrudenesstomysister,whichwasnotintendedintheleast,butcameoftheircommonalarmatthemoment,andhisdesiretocomforther。Alsohebeggedpermissiontocomeandseeme,asanoldschoolfellow,andseteverythingstraightbetweenus,asshouldbeamonghonestBlundellites。
  Allthiswassodifferenttomyideaoffightingoutaquarrel,whenonceitisuponaman,thatIknewnotwhattomakeofit,butbowedtohigherbreeding。OnlyonethingIresolvedupon,thatcomewhenhewouldheshouldnotseeAnnie。Andtodomysisterjustice,shehadnodesiretoseehim。
  However,Iamtooeasy,thereisnodoubtofthat,beingveryquicktoforgiveaman,andveryslowtosuspect,unlesshehathonceliedtome。Moreover,astoAnnie,ithadalwaysseemedtomemuchagainstmywishesthatsomeshrewdloveofawaitingsortwasbetweenherandTomFaggus:andthoughTomhadmadehisfortunenow,andeverybodyrespectedhim,ofcoursehewasnottobecompared,inthatpointofrespectability,withthosepeoplewhohangedtherobberswhenfortuneturnedagainstthem。
  SoyoungSquireMarwoodcameagain,asthoughIhadneversmittenhim,andspokeofitinaslightawayasifwewerestillatschooltogether。Itwasnotinmynature,ofcourse,tokeepanyangeragainsthim;andI
  knewwhatacondescensionitwasforhimtovisitus。
  Anditisaverygrievousthing,whichtouchessmalllandowners,toseeanancientfamilydaybydaydecaying:andwhenweheardthatLeyBartonitself,andalltheManorofLyntonwereunderaheavymortgagedebttoJohnLoveringofWeare-Gifford,therewasnotmuch,inourlittleway,thatwewouldnotgladlydoorsufferforthebenefitofDeWhichehalse。
  Meanwhiletheworkofthefarmwastoward,andeverydaygaveusmoreadotodisposeofwhatitselfwasdoing。ForafterthelongdryskelteringwindofMarchandpartofApril,therehadbeenafortnightofsoftwet;andwhenthesuncameforthagain,hillandvalley,woodandmeadow,couldnotmakeenoughofhim。
  ManyaspringhaveIseensincethen,butneveryettwospringsalike,andneveronesobeautiful。Orwasitthatmylovecameforthandtouchedtheworldwithbeauty?
  Thespringwasinourvalleynow;creepingfirstforsheltershylyinthepauseoftheblusteringwind。
  Therethelambscamebleatingtoher,andtheorchisliftedup,andthethindeadleavesofcloverlayforthenewonestospringthrough。Therethestiffestthingsthatsleep,thestubbyoak,andthesaplin’dbeech,droppedtheirbrowndefiancetoher,andpreparedforasoftreply。
  Whileherover-eagerchildrenwhohadstartedforthtomeether,throughthefrostandshowerofsleet,catkin’dhazel,gold-glovedwithy,youthfulelder,andoldwoodbine,withallthetribeofgoodhedge-climberswhomusthastenwhilehastetheymay——wasthereoneofthemthatdidnotclaimthemeritofcomingfirst?
  Thereshestayedandheldherrevel,assoonasthefearoffrostwasgone;alltheairwasafountoffreshness,andtheearthofgladness,andthelaughingwatersprattledofthekindnessofthesun。
  Butallthismadeitmuchharderforus,plyingthehoeandrake,tokeepthefieldswithroomuponthemforthecorntotiller。Thewinterwheatwaswellenough,beingsturdyandstrong-sided;butthespringwheatandthebarleyandtheoatswereoverrunbyillweedsgrowingfaster。Therefore,astheoldsayingis,——
  Farmer,thatthywifemaythrive,Letnotburrandburdockwive;
  Andifthouwouldstkeepthyson,Seethatbineandgithhavenone。
  Sowewerecompelledtogodownthefieldandupit,strikinginandoutwithcarewherethegreenbladeshungtogether,sothateachhadspacetomoveinandtospreaditsrootsabroad。AndIdoassureyounow,thoughyoumaynotbelieveme,itwasharderworktokeepJohnFry,BillDadds,andJemSlocomballinalineandallmovingnimblytothetuneofmyowntool,thanitwastosetoutinthemorningalone,andhoehalfanacrebydinner-time。For,insteadofkeepingthegoodashmoving,theywouldforeverbefindingsomethingtolookatortospeakof,oratanyrate,tostopwith;blamingtheshapeoftheirtoolsperhaps,ortalkingaboutotherpeople’saffairs;or,whatwasmostirksomeofalltome,takingadvantageasmarriedmen,andwhisperingjokesofnoexcellenceaboutmyhaving,orhavingnot,orbeingashamedofasweetheart。AndthiswentsofaratlastthatIwasforcedtotaketwoofthemandknocktheirheadstogether;afterwhichtheyworkedwithabetterwill。
  Whenwemettogetherintheeveningroundthekitchenchimney-place,afterthemenhadhadtheirsupperandtheirheavybootsweregone,mymotherandElizawoulddotheirveryutmosttolearnwhatIwasthinkingof。
  Notthatwekeptanyfirenow,afterthecrockwasemptied;butthatwelovedtoseetheashescooling,andtobetogether。AtthesetimesAnniewouldneveraskmeanycraftyquestionsasElizadid,butwouldsitwithherhairuntwined,andonehandunderneathherchin,sometimeslookingsoftlyatme,asmuchastosaythatsheknewitallandIwasnoworseoffthanshe。
  Butstrangetosaymymotherdreamednot,evenforaninstant,thatitwaspossibleforAnnietobethinkingofsuchathing。Shewassoverygoodandquiet,andcarefulofthelinen,andcleveraboutthecookeryandfowlsandbacon-curing,thatpeopleusedtolaugh,andsayshewouldneverlookatabacheloruntilhermotherorderedher。ButIperhapsfrommyownconditionandthesenseofwhatitwasfeltnocertaintyaboutthis,andevenhadanotheropinion,aswassaidbefore。