AbideinLondon,MasterRidd,andhewillmakethyfortune。Hisjokeuponthynameprovesthat。AndI
  prayyouremember,MasterRidd,thattheSpanksaresixteeninfamily。’
  ButIwouldnottakethebagfromhim,regardingitasasortofbribetopaymesuchalumpofmoney,withoutsomuchasaskinghowgreathadbeenmyexpenses。
  ThereforeIonlytoldhimthatifhewouldkindlykeepthecashformeuntilthemorrow,Iwouldspendtherestofthedayincountingwhichalwaysissoreworkwithmehowmuchithadstoodmeinboardandlodging,sinceMasterStickleshadrenderedmeup;foruntilthattimehehadbornemyexpenses。InthemorningI
  wouldgiveMr。Spankamemorandum,dulysigned,andattestedbymylandlord,includingthebreakfastofthatday,andinexchangeforthisIwouldtaketheexactamountfromtheyellowbag,andbeverythankfulforit。
  ’Ifthatisthywayofusingopportunity,’saidSpank,lookingatmewithsomecontempt,’thouwiltneverthriveinthesetimes,mylad。EventheLordChiefJusticecanbelittlehelptothee;unlessthouknowestbetterthanthathowtohelpthyself’
  Itmatterednottome。Theword’approver’stuckinmygorge,asusedbytheLordChiefJustice;forwelookeduponanapproverasaverylowthingindeed。Iwouldratherpayforeverybreakfast,andeveneverydinner,eatenbymesincehereIcame,thantakemoneyasanapprover。AndindeedIwasmuchdisappointedatbeingtakeninthatlight,havingunderstoodthatIwassentforasatrustysubject,andhumblefriendofHisMajesty。
  InthemorningImetMr。Spankwaitingformeattheentrance,andverydesiroustoseeme。Ishowedhimmybill,madeoutinfaircopy,andhelaughedatit,andsaid,’Takeittwiceover,MasterRidd;onceforthineownsake,andonceforHisMajesty’s;asallhisloyaltradesmendo,whentheycangetany。HisMajestyknowsandisproudofit,foritshowstheirloveofhiscountenance;andhesays,“bisdatquicitodat,“thenhowcanIgrumbleatgivingtwice,whenIgivesoslowly?’
  ’Nay,Iwilltakeitbutonce,’Isaid;’ifHisMajestylovestoberobbed,heneednotlackofhisdesire,whiletheSpanksaresixteeninfamily。’
  Theclerksmiledcheerfullyatthis,beingproudofhischildren’sability;andthenhavingpaidmyaccount,hewhispered,——
  ’Heisallalonethismorning,John,andinraregoodhumour。HehathbeenpromisedthehandlingofpoorMasterAlgernonSidney,andhesayshewillsoonmakerepublicofhim;forhisstateshallshortlybeheadless。Heischucklingoverhisjoke,likeapigwithanut;andthatalwaysmakeshimpleasant。JohnRidd,mylord!’Withthatheswungupthecurtainbravely,andaccordingtospecialorders,Istood,facetoface,andalonewithJudgeJeffreys。
  Hislordshipwasbusywithsomeletters,anddidnotlookupforaminuteortwo,althoughheknewthatI
  wasthere。MeanwhileIstoodwaitingtomakemybow;
  afraidtobeginuponhim,andwonderingathisgreatbull-head。Thenheclosedhisletters,well-pleasedwiththeirimport,andfixedhisboldbroadstareonme,asifIwereanoysteropened,andhewouldknowhowfreshIwas。
  ’Mayitpleaseyourworship,’Isaid,’hereIamaccordingtoorder,awaitingyourgoodpleasure。’
  ’Thouartmadetoweight,John,morethanorder。Howmuchdostthoutipthescalesto?’
  ’Onlytwelvescorepounds,mylord,whenIbeinwrestlingtrim。AndsureImusthavelostweighthere,frettingsolonginLondon。’
  ’Ha,ha!Muchfretisthereinthee!HathHisMajestyseenthee?’
  ’Yes,mylord,twiceoreventhrice;andhemadesomejestconcerningme。’
  ’Averybadone,Idoubtnot。Hishumourisnotsodaintyasmine,butapttobecoarseandunmannerly。
  NowJohn,orJack,bythelookofthee,thouartmoreusedtobecalled。’
  ’Yes,yourworship,whenIamwitholdMollyandBettyMuxworthy。’
  ’Peace,thouforwardvarlet!Thereisadealtoomuchofthee。Weshallhavetotryshortcommonswiththee,andthouartaverylongcommon。Ha,ha!WhereisthatrogueSpank?Spankmusthearthatby-and-by。
  Itisbeyondthygreatthickhead,Jack。’
  ’Notso,mylord;Ihavebeenatschool,andhadverybadjokesmadeuponme。’
  ’Ha,ha!Ithathhittheehard。Andfaith,itwouldbehardtomissthee,evenwithharpoon。Andthoulookestliketoblubber,now。Capital,infaith!Ihavetheeoneveryside,Jack,andthysidesaremanifold;
  many-foldedatanyrate。Thoushalthavedoubleexpenses,Jack,forthewitthouhastprovokedinme。’
  ’Heavygoodslackheavypayment,isaproverbdownourway,mylord。’
  ’Ah,Ihurtthee,Ihurtthee,Jack。Theharpoonhathnotickleforthee。Now,JackWhale,havinghauledtheehard,wewillproceedtoexaminethee。’Hereallhismannerwaschanged,andhelookedwithhisheavybrowsbentuponme,asifhehadneverlaughedinhislife,andwouldallownoneelsetodoso。
  ’Iamreadytoanswer,mylord,’Ireplied,’ifheasksmenoughtbeyondmyknowledge,orbeyondmyhonour。’
  ’Hadstbetteranswermeeverything,lump。Whathastthoutodowithhonour?Nowisthereinthyneighbourhoodacertainnestofrobbers,miscreants,andoutlaws,whomallmenfeartohandle?’
  ’Yes,mylord。Atleast,Ibelievesomeofthemberobbers,andallofthemareoutlaws。’
  ’Andwhatisyourhighsheriffabout,thathedothnothangthemall?Orsendthemupformetohang,withoutmoretodoaboutthem?’
  ’Ireckonthatheisafraid,mylord;itisnotsafetomeddlewiththem。Theyareofgoodbirth,andreckless;andtheirplaceisverystrong。’
  ’Goodbirth!WhatwasLordRussellof,LordEssex,andthisSidney?’Tisthesurestheirshiptotheblocktobethechipofagoodone。Whatisthenameofthispestilentrace,andhowmanyofthemarethere?’
  ’TheyaretheDoonesofBagworthyforest,mayitpleaseyourworship。Andwereckontherebeaboutfortyofthem,besidethewomenandchildren。’
  ’FortyDoones,allfortythieves!andwomenandchildren!ThunderofGod!Howlonghavetheybeentherethen?’
  ’Theymayhavebeentherethirtyyears,mylord;andindeedtheymayhavebeenforty。Beforethegreatwarbrokeouttheycame,longerbackthanIcanremember。’
  ’Ay,longbeforethouwastborn,John。Good,thouspeakestplainly。Woebetidealiar,whensoIgetholdofhim。YewantmeontheWesternCircuit;byGod,andyeshallhaveme,whenLondontraitorsarespunandswung。ThereisafamilycalledDeWhichehalselivingverynighthee,John?’
  Thishesaidinasuddenmanner,asiftotakemeoffmyguard,andfixedhisgreatthickeyesonme。AndintruthIwasmuchastonished。
  ’Yes,mylord,thereis。Atleast,notsoveryfarfromus。BarondeWhichehalse,ofLeyManor。’
  ’Baron,ha!oftheExchequer——eh,lad?AndtakethduesinsteadofHisMajesty。Somewhatwhichhaltsthereoughttocomealittlefurther,Itrow。Itshallbeseento,aswellasthewitchwhichmakesitsotohalt。RiotousknavesinWestEngland,drunkenoutlaws,youshalldance,ifeverIplaypipeforyou。JohnRidd,IwillcometoOareparish,androutouttheOareofBabylon。’
  ’Althoughyourworshipissolearned,’Iansweredseeingthatnowhewasbeginningtomakethingsuneasy;
  ’yourworship,thoughbeingChiefJustice,doeslittlejusticetous。Wearedownrightgoodandloyalfolk;
  andIhavenotseen,sincehereIcametothisgreattownofLondon,anywhomaybetterus,orevencomeanighus,inhonesty,andgoodness,anddutytoourneighbours。Forweareveryquietfolk,notpratingourownvirtues——’
  ’Enough,goodJohn,enough!Knowestthounotthatmodestyisthemaidenhoodofvirtue,lostevenbyherownapproval?NowhastthoueverheardorthoughtthatDeWhichehalseisinleaguewiththeDoonesofBagworthy?’
  Sayingthesewordsratherslowly,heskeweredhisgreateyesintomine,sothatIcouldnotthinkatall,neitherlookathim,noryetaway。Theideawassonewtomethatitsetmywitsallwandering;andlookingintome,hesawthatIwasgropingforthetruth。
  ’JohnRidd,thineeyesareenoughforme。Iseethouhastneverdreamedofit。NowhastthoueverseenamanwhosenameisThomasFaggus?’
  ’Yes,sir,manyandmanyatime。Heismyownworthycousin;andIfearhethathathintentions’——hereI
  stopped,havingnorighttheretospeakaboutourAnnie。
  ’TomFaggusisagoodman,’hesaid;andhisgreatsquarefacehadasmilewhichshowedmehehadmetmycousin;’MasterFaggushathmademistakesastothetitletoproperty,aslawyersoftentimesmaydo;buttakehimallforall,heisathoroughlystraightforwardman;presentshisbill,andhasitpaid,andmakesnochargefordrawingit。
  Nevertheless,wemusttaxhiscosts,asofanyothersolicitor。’
  ’Tobesure,tobesure,mylord!’wasallthatIcouldsay,notunderstandingwhatallthismeant。
  ’Ifearhewillcometothegallows,’saidtheLordChiefJustice,sinkinghisvoicebelowtheechoes;
  ’tellhimthisfromme,Jack。Heshallneverbecondemnedbeforeme;butIcannotbeeverywhere,andsomeofourJusticesmaykeepshortmemoryofhisdinners。Tellhimtochangehisname,turnparson,ordosomethingelse,tomakeitwrongtohanghim。
  Parsonisthebestthing,hehathsuchcommandoffeatures,andhemighttakehistithesonhorseback。
  Nowafewmorethings,JohnRidd;andforthepresentI
  havedonewiththee。’
  Allmyheartleapedupatthis,togetawayfromLondonso:andyetIcouldhardlytrusttoit。
  ’IsthereanysoundroundyourwayofdisaffectiontoHisMajesty,HismostgraciousMajesty?’
  ’No,mylord:nosignwhatever。Weprayforhiminchurchperhaps,andwetalkabouthimafterwards,hopingitmaydohimgood,asitisintended。Butafterthatwehavenaughttosay,notknowingmuchabouthim——atleasttillIgethomeagain。’
  ’Thatisasitshouldbe,John。Andthelessyousaythebetter。ButIhaveheardofthingsinTaunton,andevennearertoyouinDulverton,andevennigherstilluponExmoor;thingswhichareofthepillorykind,andevenmoreofthegallows。Iseethatyouknownaughtofthem。Nevertheless,itwillnotbelongbeforeallEnglandhearsofthem。Now,John,Ihavetakenalikingtothee,fornevermantoldmethetruth,withoutfearorfavour,morethoroughlyandtrulythanthouhastdone。Keepthouclearofthis,myson。Itwillcometonothing;yetmanyshallswinghighforit。EvenIcouldnotsavethee,JohnRidd,ifthouwertmixedinthisaffair。KeepfromtheDoones,keepfromDeWhichehalse,keepfromeverythingwhichleadsbeyondthesightofthyknowledge。Imeanttousetheeasmytool;butIseethouarttoohonestandsimple。Iwillsendasharperdown;butneverletmefindthee,John,eitheratoolfortheotherside,oratubeformywordstopassthrough。’
  HeretheLordJusticegavemesuchaglarethatI
  wishedmyselfwellridofhim,thoughthankfulforhiswarnings;andseeinghowhehadmadeuponmealongabidingmarkoffear,hesmiledagaininajocularmanner,andsaid,——
  ’Now,gettheegone,Jack。Ishallrememberthee;andItrow,thouwilt’stnotformanyadayforgetme。’
  ’Mylord,Iwasneversogladtogo;forthehaymustbein,andthericksunthatched,andnoneofthemcanmakesparslikeme,andtwomentotwisteveryhay-rope,andmotherthinkingitallright,andlisteningrightandlefttolies,andcheatedateverypigshekills,andeventheskinsofthesheeptogo——’
  ’JohnRidd,Ithoughtnonecouldcomenighyourfolkinhonesty,andgoodness,anddutytotheirneighbours!’
  ’Sureenough,mylord;butbyourfolk,Imeanourselves,notthemennorwomenneither——’
  ’Thatwilldo,John。Gothyway。Notmen,norwomenneither,arebetterthantheyneedbe。’
  Iwishedtosetthismatterright;buthisworshipwouldnothearme,andonlydrovemeoutofcourt,sayingthatmenwerethievesandliars,nomoreinoneplacethananother,butallalikeallovertheworld,andwomennotfarbehindthem。ItwasnotformetodisputethispointthoughIwasnotyetpersuadedofit,bothbecausemylordwasaJudge,andmustknowmoreaboutit,andalsothatbeingamanmyselfImightseemtobedefendingmyselfinanunbecomingmanner。