’UntilIdoremember,love,thatyouwillsooncomebacktome,andbemyownforever。ThisiswhatI
alwaysthinkof,thisiswhatIhopefor。’
Althoughhereyesweresoglorious,andbeamingwitheternity,thisdistantsortofbeatitudewasnotmuchtomyliking。Iwantedtohavemyloveonearth;andmydearwifeinmyownhome;andchildreningoodtime,ifGodshouldpleasetosendusany。AndthenIwouldbetothem,exactlywhatmyfatherwastome。Andbesideallthis,Idoubtedmuchaboutbeingfitforheaven;wherenoploughsare,andnocattle,unlesssacrificedbullswentthither。
ThereforeIsaid,’Nowkissme,Lorna;anddon’ttalkanynonsense。’Andthedarlingcameanddidit;beingkindlyobedient,astheotherworldoftenmakesus。
’Yousweetlove,’Isaidatthis,beingslavetohersoftobedience;’doyousupposeIshouldbecontenttoleaveyouuntilElysium?’
’HowonearthcanItell,dearJohn,whatyouwillbecontentwith?’
’You,andonlyyou,’saidI;’thewholeofitliesinasyllable。Nowyouknowmyentirewant;andwantmustbemycomfort。’
’ButsurelyifIhavemoney,sir,andbirth,andrank,andallsortsofgrandeur,youwouldneverdaretothinkofme。’
Shedrewherselfupwithanairofpride,asshegravelypronouncedthesewords,andgavemeascornfulglance,ortried;andturnedawayasiftoentersomegrandcoachorpalace;whileIwassoamazedandgrievedinmyrawsimplicityespeciallyafterthewayinwhichshehadfirstreceivedmynews,solovingandwarm-hearted,thatIneversaidaword,butstaredandthought,’Howdoesshemeanit?’
Shesawthepainuponmyforehead,andthewonderinmyeyes,andleavingcoachandpalacetoo,backsheflewtomeinamoment,assimpleassimplestmilkmaid。
’Oh,youfearfulstupid,John,youinexpressiblystupid,John,’shecriedwithbotharmsroundmyneck,andherlipsuponmyforehead;’youhavecalledyourselfthick-headed,John,andIneverwouldbelieveit。ButnowIdowithallmyheart。WillyouneverknowwhatIam,love?’
’No,Lorna,thatInevershall。Icanunderstandmymotherwell,andoneatleastofmysisters,andboththeSnowegirlsveryeasily,butyouIneverunderstand;onlyloveyouallthemoreforit。’
’Thennevertrytounderstandme,iftheresultisthat,dearJohn。AndyetIamtheverysimplestofallfoolishsimplecreatures。Nay,Iamwrong;thereinI
yieldthepalmtoyou,mydear。TothinkthatIcanactso!NowondertheywantmeinLondon,asanornamentforthestage,John。’
Nowinafterdays,whenIheardofLornaastherichest,andnoblest,andloveliestladytobefoundinLondon,Ioftenrememberedthatlittlescene,andrecalledeverywordandgesture,wonderingwhatlayunderit。Evennow,whileitwasquiteimpossibleoncetodoubtthosecleardeepeyes,andthebrightlipstremblingso;neverthelessIfelthowmuchtheworldwouldhavetodowithit;andthatthebestandtruestpeoplecannotshakethemselvesquitefree。However,forthemoment,Iwasveryproudandshowedit。
Andhereindiffersfactfromfancy,thingsastheybefallusfromthingsaswewouldhavethem,humanendsfromhumanhopes;thatthefirstaremovedbyathousandandthelastontwowheelsonly,whichbeingnamedaredesireandfear。Hopeofcourseisnothingmorethandesirewithatelescope,magnifyingdistantmatters,overlookingnearones;openingoneeyeontheobjects,closingtheothertoallobjections。Andifhopebethefuturetenseofdesire,thefutureoffearisreligion——atleastwithtoomanyofus。
WhetherIamrightorwronginthesesmallmoralities,onethingissureenough,towit,thathopeisthefastesttraveller,atanyrate,inthetimeofyouth。
AndsoIhopedthatLornamightbeprovedofblamelessfamily,andhonourablerankandfortune;andyetnonethelessforthat,lovemeandbelongtome。SoIledherintothehouse,andshefellintomymother’sarms;
andIleftthemtohaveagoodcryofit,withAnniereadytohelpthem。
IfMasterSticklesshouldnotmendenoughtogainhisspeechalittle,anddeclaretousallheknew,IwastosetoutforWatchett,ridinguponhorseback,andtheretohireacartwithwheels,suchaswehadnotbegun,asyet,touseonExmoor。Forallourworkwentonbroadwood,withrunnersandwithearthboards;andmanyofusstilllookeduponwheelsthoughmentionedintheBibleastheinventionoftheevilone,andPharoah’sespecialproperty。
Now,insteadofgettingbetter,ColonelSticklesgrewworseandworse,inspiteofallourtendanceofhim,withsimplesandwithnourishment,andnopoisonousmedicine,suchasdoctorswouldhavegivenhim。Andthefaultofthislaynotwithus,butpurelywithhimselfandhisunquietconstitution。Forherousedhimselfuptoaperfectfever,whenthroughLizzie’sgiddinesshelearnedtheverythingwhichmotherandAnniewerehidingfromhim,withtheutmostcare;
namely,thatSergeantBloxhamhadtakenuponhimselftosenddirecttoLondonbytheChanceryofficers,afullreportofwhathadhappened,andoftheillnessofhischief,togetherwithanurgentprayerforafullbattalionofKing’stroops,andaplenarycommander。
ThisSergeantBloxham,beingseniorofthesurvivingsoldiers,andaveryworthymaninhisway,butatrifleover-zealous,hadsucceededtothecaptaincyuponhismaster’sdisablement。Then,withdesiretoservehiscountryandshowhiseducation,hesatupmostpartofthreenights,andwrotethisverywonderfulreportbytheaidofourstablelanthorn。Itwasaveryfinepieceofwork,asthreementowhomhereaditbutonlyoneatatimepronounced,beingundersealofsecrecy。Andallmighthavegonewellwithit,iftheauthorcouldonlyhaveheldhistongue,whenneartheearsofwomen。Butthiswasbeyondhissenseasitseems,althoughsogoodawriter。ForhavingheardthatourLizziewasafamousjudgeofliteratureasindeedshetoldalmosteveryone,hecouldnotcontainhimself,butmusthaveheropinionuponhiswork。
Lizziesatonalogofwood,andlistenedwithallherearsup,havingmadeprovisothatnooneelseshouldbetheretointerrupther。Andsheputinasyllablehereandthere,andmanyatimeshetookoutonefortheSergeantoverloadedhisgun,moreoftenthanunderchargedit;likealiberalmanofletters,andthenshedeclaredtheresultsogood,sochaste,andthestyletobesoelegant,andyetsofervent,thattheSergeantbrokehispipeinthree,andfellinlovewithheronthespot。Nowthishasledmeoutofmyway;asthingsarealwaysdoing,partlythroughtheirownperverseness,partlythroughmykinddesiretogivefairturntoallofthem,andtoallthepeoplewhodothem。Ifanyoneexpectsofmeastrictandwell-drilledstory,standing’atattention’allthetime,withhandsatthesideliketwowensonmytrunk,andeyesgoingneitherrightnorleft;Itrowthatmanhasbeendisappointedmanyapageago,andhasleftmetomyevilways;andifnot,Ilovehischarity。
Thereforeletmeseekhisgrace,andgetback,andjustbeginagain。
ThatgreatdespatchwassenttoLondonbytheChanceryofficers,whomwefittedupwithclothes,andforthreedaysfattenedthem;whichinstrictjusticetheyneededmuch,aswellasinpointofequity。Theywerekindenoughtobepleasedwithus,andacceptedmynewshirtsgenerously;andurgentastheirbusinesswas,anotherweekastheybothdeclaredcoulddonoharmtonobody,andmightsetthemupontheirlegsagain。
Andknowing,althoughtheywereLondonmen,thatfishdoliveinwater,thesetwofellowswentfishingallday,butneverlandedanything。However,theirholidaywascutshort;fortheSergeant,havingfinishednowhisnarrativeofproceedings,wasnotthemantoletithangfire,andbequenchedperhapsbyStickles。
Therefore,havingdonetheirbusiness,andservedbothcitations,thesetwogoodmenhadapannierofvictualsputupbydearAnnie,andborrowingtwoofourhorses,rodetoDunster,wheretheyleftthem,andhiredontowardsLondon。Wehadnottimetolikethemmuch,andsowedidnotmissthem,especiallyinourgreatanxietyaboutpoorMasterStickles。
Jeremylaybetweenlifeanddeath,foratleastafortnight。Ifthelinkofchainhadflownupwardsforhalfalinkofchainitwaswhichtookhiminthemouthso,evenoneinchupwards,thepoormancouldhaveneedednooneexceptParsonBowden;forthebottomofhisskull,whichholdsthebrainasintheegg-cup,musthavecleangonefromhim。Butstrikinghimhorizontally,andalittleupontheskew,themetalcameoutatthebackofhisneck,andthepowdernotbeingstrong,Isupposeitlodgedinhisleathercollar。
Nowtherustofthisironhunginthewound,oratleastwethoughtso;thoughsinceIhavetalkedwithamanofmedicine,Iamnotsosureofit。Andourchiefaimwastopurgethisrust;whenratherweshouldhavestoppedthehole,andlettheoxidedoitsworst,withaplugofnewfleshonbothsidesofit。
AtlastIprevaileduponhimbyargument,thathemustgetbetter,tosavehimselffrombeingignoblyandunjustlysuperseded;andhereuponIreviledSergeantBloxhammorefiercelythanJeremy’sselfcouldhavedone,andindeedtosuchapitchthatJeremyalmostforgavehim,andbecamemuchmilder。Andafterthathisfeverandtheinflammationofhiswound,diminishedveryrapidly。
However,notknowingwhatmighthappen,orevenhowsoonpoorLornamightbetakenfromourpower,and,fallingintolawyers’hands,havecausetowishherselfmostheartilybackamongtherobbers,IsetforthonedayforWatchett,takingadvantageofthevisitofsometroopersfromanoutpost,whowouldmakeourhousequitesafe。Irodealone,beingfullyprimed,andhavingnomisgivings。ForitwassaidthateventheDooneshadbeguntofearme,sinceIcasttheirculverinthroughthedoor,asaboverelated;andtheycouldnotbutbelieve,frommybeingstilluntouchedalthoughsolargeanobjectinthethickestoftheirfire,bothofgunandcannon,thatImustbearacharmedlife,proofagainstballandbullet。However,IknewthatCarverDoonewasnotalikelymantoholdanysuperstitiousopinions;andofhimIhadaninstinctivedread,althoughquitereadytofacehim。
Ridingalong,ImeditateduponLorna’shistory;howmanythingswerenowbeginningtounfoldthemselves,whichhadbeenobscureanddark!Forinstance,SirEnsorDoone’sconsent,ortosaytheleasthisindifference,tohermarriagewithayeoman;whichinamansoproudthoughdyinghadgreatlypuzzledbothofus。Butnow,ifshenotonlyprovedtobenograndchildoftheDoone,butevendescendedfromhisenemy,itwasnaturalenoughthatheshouldfeelnogreatrepugnancetoherhumiliation。AndthatLorna’sfatherhadbeenafoetothehouseofDooneIgatheredfromhermother’scrywhenshebeheldtheirleader。
Moreoverthatfactwouldsupplytheirmotiveincarryingofftheunfortunatelittlecreature,andrearingheramongthem,andasoneoftheirownfamily;
yethidinghertruebirthfromher。Shewasa’greatcard,’aswesay,whenplayingAll-foursatChristmas-time;andifoneofthemcouldmarryher,beforeshelearnedofrightandwrong,vastproperty,enoughtobuypardonsforathousandDoones,wouldbeattheirmercy。AndsinceIwascometoknowLornabetter,andshetoknowmethoroughly——manythingshadbeenoutspoken,whichherearlybashfulnesshadkeptcoveredfromme。AttemptsImeantopledgeherlovetothisone,orthatother;someofwhichperhapsmighthavebeensuccessful,iftherehadnotbeentoomany。
Andthen,asherbeautygrewricherandbrighter,CarverDoonewassmittenstrongly,andwouldhearofnooneelseasasuitorforher;andbytheterrorofhisclaimdroveoffalltheothers。Heretoomaytheexplanationofathingwhichseemedtobeagainstthelawsofhumannature,anduponwhichIlonged,butdarednottocross-questionLorna。Howcouldsuchalovelygirl,althoughsoyoung,andbrave,anddistant,haveescapedthevileaffectionsofalawlesscompany?
Butnowitwasasclearasneedbe。Foranyprovenviolencewouldhaveutterlyvitiatedallclaimuponhergrandestate;atleastasthoseclaimsmustbeurgedbeforeacourtofequity。Andthereforealltheelderswithviewsuponherrealestatekeptstrictwatchontheyoungers,whoconfinedtheirviewstoherpersonality。
NowIdonotmeantosaythatallthis,orthehundredotherthingswhichcame,crowdingconsideration,werehalfasplaintomeatthetime,asIhavesetthemdownabove。Farbeitfrommetodeceiveyouso。Nodoubtmythoughtswerethendarkandhazy,likeanoil-lampfulloffungus;andIhavetrimmedthem,aswhentheyburned,withscissorssharpenedlongafterwards。AllImeantosayisthis,thatjoggingalongtoacertaintuneofthehorse’sfeet,whichwecall’three-halfpenceandtwopence,’Isawmywayalittleintosomethingswhichhadpuzzledme。
WhenIknockedatthelittledoor,whosesillwasgrittyandgrimedwithsand,noonecameforaverylongtimetoanswerme,ortoletmein。Notwishingtobeunmannerly,Iwaitedalongtime,andwatchedthesea,fromwhichthewindwasblowing;andwhosemanylipsofwaves——thoughthetidewashalf-wayout——spoketoandrefreshedme。AfterawhileIknockedagain,formyhorsewasbecominghungry;andagoodwhileafterthatagain,avoicecamethroughthekey-hole,——
’Whoisthatwishestoenter?’