Shelookedattheclock。Charleswaslate。Then,sheaffectedanxiety。Twoorthreetimessheevenrepeated,“Heissogood!“
TheclerkwasfondofMonsieurBovary。Butthistendernessonhisbehalfastonishedhimunpleasantly;neverthelesshetookuponhispraises,whichhesaideveryonewassinging,especiallythechemist。
“Ah!heisagoodfellow,“continuedEmma。
“Certainly,“repliedtheclerk。
AndhebegantalkingofMadameHomais,whoseveryuntidyappearancegenerallymadethemlaugh。
“Whatdoesitmatter?“interruptedEmma。“Agoodhousewifedoesnottroubleaboutherappearance。“
Thensherelapsedintosilence。
Itwasthesameonthefollowingdays;hertalks,hermanners,everythingchanged。Shetookinterestinthehousework,wenttochurchregularly,andlookedafterherservantwithmoreseverity。
ShetookBerthefromnurse。Whenvisitorscalled,Felicitebroughtherin,andMadameBovaryundressedhertoshowoffherlimbs。Shedeclaredsheadoredchildren;thiswasherconsolation,herjoy,herpassion,andsheaccompaniedhercaresseswithlyricaloutburstwhichwouldhaveremindedanyonebuttheYonvillepeopleofSachettein“NotreDamedeParis。“
WhenCharlescamehomehefoundhisslippersputtowarmnearthefire。Hiswaistcoatnowneverwantedlining,norhisshirtbuttons,anditwasquiteapleasuretoseeinthecupboardthenight-capsarrangedinpilesofthesameheight。Shenolongergrumbledasformerlyattakingaturninthegarden;whatheproposedwasalwaysdone,althoughshedidnotunderstandthewishestowhichshesubmittedwithoutamurmur;andwhenLeonsawhimbyhisfiresideafterdinner,histwohandsonhisstomach,histwofeetonthefender,histwocheeksredwithfeeding,hiseyesmoistwithhappiness,thechildcrawlingalongthecarpet,andthiswomanwiththeslenderwaistwhocamebehindhisarm-chairtokisshisforehead:“Whatmadness!“hesaidtohimself。“Andhowtoreachher!“
Andthussheseemedsovirtuousandinaccessibletohimthathelostallhope,eventhefaintest。Butbythisrenunciationheplacedheronanextraordinarypinnacle。Tohimshestoodoutsidethosefleshlyattributesfromwhichhehadnothingtoobtain,andinhisheartsheroseever,andbecamefartherremovedfromhimafterthemagnificentmannerofanapotheosisthatistakingwing。Itwasoneofthosepurefeelingsthatdonotinterferewithlife,thatarecultivatedbecausetheyarerare,andwhoselosswouldafflictmorethantheirpassionrejoices。
Emmagrewthinner,hercheekspaler,herfacelonger。Withherblackhair,herlargeeyes,heraquilinenose,herbirdlikewalk,andalwayssilentnow,didshenotseemtobepassingthroughlifescarcelytouchingit,andtobearonherbrowthevagueimpressofsomedivinedestiny?Shewassosadandsocalm,atoncesogentleandsoreserved,thatnearheronefeltoneselfseizedbyanicycharm,asweshudderinchurchesattheperfumeoftheflowersminglingwiththecoldofthemarble。Theothersevendidnotescapefromthisseduction。Thechemistsaid——
“Sheisawomanofgreatparts,whowouldn’tbemisplacedinasub-prefecture。“
Thehousewivesadmiredhereconomy,thepatientsherpoliteness,thepoorhercharity。
Butshewaseatenupwithdesires,withrage,withhate。Thatdresswiththenarrowfoldshidadistractedfear,ofwhosetormentthosechastelipssaidnothing。ShewasinlovewithLeon,andsoughtsolitudethatshemightwiththemoreeasedelightinhisimage。Thesightofhisformtroubledthevoluptuousnessofthismediation。Emmathrilledatthesoundofhisstep;theninhispresencetheemotionsubsided,andafterwardsthereremainedtoheronlyanimmenseastonishmentthatendedinsorrow。
Leondidnotknowthatwhenheleftherindespairsheroseafterhehadgonetoseehiminthestreet。Sheconcernedherselfabouthiscomingsandgoings;shewatchedhisface;sheinventedquiteahistorytofindanexcuseforgoingtohisroom。Thechemist’swifeseemedhappytohertosleepunderthesameroof,andherthoughtsconstantlycentereduponthishouse,likethe“Liond’Or“pigeons,whocametheretodiptheirredfeetandwhitewingsinitsgutters。ButthemoreEmmarecognisedherlove,themoreshecrusheditdown,thatitmightnotbeevident,thatshemightmakeitless。ShewouldhavelikedLeontoguessit,andsheimaginedchances,catastrophesthatshouldfacilitatethis。
Whatrestrainedherwas,nodoubt,idlenessandfear,andasenseofshamealso。Shethoughtshehadrepulsedhimtoomuch,thatthetimewaspast,thatallwaslost。Then,pride,andjoyofbeingabletosaytoherself,“Iamvirtuous,“andtolookatherselfintheglasstakingresignedposes,consoledheralittleforthesacrificeshebelievedshewasmaking。
Thenthelustsoftheflesh,thelongingformoney,andthemelancholyofpassionallblendedthemselvesintoonesuffering,andinsteadofturningherthoughtsfromit,sheclavetoitthemore,urgingherselftopain,andseekingeverywhereoccasionforit。Shewasirritatedbyanill-serveddishorbyahalf-opendoor;bewailedthevelvetsshehadnot,thehappinessshehadmissed,hertooexalteddreams,hernarrowhome。
WhatexasperatedherwasthatCharlesdidnotseemtonoticeheranguish。Hisconvictionthathewasmakingherhappyseemedtoheranimbecileinsult,andhissurenessonthispointingratitude。Forwhosesake,thenwasshevirtuous?Wasitnotforhim,theobstacletoallfelicity,thecauseofallmisery,and,asitwere,thesharpclaspofthatcomplexstrapthatbuckedherinonallsides。
Onhimalone,then,sheconcentratedallthevarioushatredsthatresultedfromherboredom,andeveryefforttodiminishonlyaugmentedit;forthisuselesstroublewasaddedtotheotherreasonsfordespair,andcontributedstillmoretotheseparationbetweenthem。Herowngentlenesstoherselfmadeherrebelagainsthim。Domesticmediocritydrovehertolewdfancies,marriagetendernesstoadulterousdesires。ShewouldhavelikeCharlestobeather,thatshemighthaveabetterrighttohatehim,torevengeherselfuponhim。Shewassurprisedsometimesattheatrociousconjecturesthatcameintoherthoughts,andshehadtogoonsmiling,tohearrepeatedtoheratallhoursthatshewashappy,topretendtobehappy,toletitbebelieved。
Yetshehadloathingofthishypocrisy。ShewasseizedwiththetemptationtofleesomewherewithLeontotryanewlife;butatonceavaguechasmfullofdarknessopenedwithinhersoul。
“Besides,henolongerlovesme,“shethought。“Whatistobecomeofme?Whathelpistobehopedfor,whatconsolation,whatsolace?“
Shewasleftbroken,breathless,inert,sobbinginalowvoice,withflowingtears。
“Whydon’tyoutellmaster?“theservantaskedherwhenshecameinduringthesecrises。
“Itisthenerves,“saidEmma。“Donotspeaktohimofit;itwouldworryhim。“
“Ah!yes,“Felicitewenton,“youarejustlikeLaGuerine,PereGuerin’sdaughter,thefishermanatPollet,thatIusedtoknowatDieppebeforeIcametoyou。Shewassosad,sosad,toseeherstandinguprightonthethresholdofherhouse,sheseemedtoyoulikeawinding-sheetspreadoutbeforethedoor。Herillness,itappears,wasakindoffogthatshehadinherhead,andthedoctorscouldnotdoanything,northepriesteither。Whenshewastakentoobadshewentoffquitealonetothesea-shore,sothatthecustomsofficer,goinghisrounds,oftenfoundherlyingflatonherface,cryingontheshingle。Then,afterhermarriage,itwentoff,theysay。“
“Butwithme,“repliedEmma,“itwasaftermarriagethatitbegan。“
ChapterSixOneeveningwhenthewindowwasopen,andshe,sittingbyit,hadbeenwatchingLestiboudois,thebeadle,trimmingthebox,shesuddenlyheardtheAngelusringing。
ItwasthebeginningofApril,whentheprimrosesareinbloom,andawarmwindblowsovertheflower-bedsnewlyturned,andthegardens,likewomen,seemtobegettingreadyforthesummerfetes。Throughthebarsofthearbourandawaybeyond,theriverseeninthefields,meanderingthroughthegrassinwanderingcurves。Theeveningvapoursrosebetweentheleaflesspoplars,touchingtheiroutlineswithaviolettint,palerandmoretransparentthanasubtlegauzecaughtathwarttheirbranches。Inthedistancecattlemovedabout;neithertheirstepsnortheirlowingcouldbeheard;andthebell,stillringingthroughtheair,keptupitspeacefullamentation。
Withthisrepeatedtinklingthethoughtsoftheyoungwomanlostthemselvesinoldmemoriesofheryouthandschool-days。Sherememberedthegreatcandlesticksthatroseabovethevasesfullofflowersonthealtar,andthetabernaclewithitssmallcolumns。Shewouldhavelikedtobeoncemorelostinthelonglineofwhiteveils,markedoffhereandtherebythestuffblackhoodsofthegoodsistersbendingovertheirprie-Dieu。AtmassonSundays,whenshelookedup,shesawthegentlefaceoftheVirginamidthebluesmokeoftherisingincense。Thenshewasmoved;shefeltherselfweakandquitedeserted,likethedownofabirdwhirledbythetempest,anditwasunconsciouslythatshewenttowardsthechurch,includedtonomatterwhatdevotions,sothathersoulwasabsorbedandallexistencelostinit。
OnthePlaceshemetLestivoudoisonhiswayback,for,inordernottoshortenhisday’slabour,hepreferredinterruptinghiswork,thenbeginningitagain,sothatherangtheAngelustosuithisownconvenience。Besides,theringingoveralittleearlierwarnedtheladsofcatechismhour。
Alreadyafewwhohadarrivedwereplayingmarblesonthestonesofthecemetery。Others,astridethewall,swungtheirlegs,kickingwiththeirclogsthelargenettlesgrowingbetweenthelittleenclosureandthenewestgraves。Thiswastheonlygreenspot。Alltherestwasbutstones,alwayscoveredwithafinepowder,despitethevestry-broom。
Thechildreninlistshoesranaboutthereasifitwereanenclosuremadeforthem。Theshoutsoftheirvoicescouldbeheardthroughthehummingofthebell。Thisgrewlessandlesswiththeswingingofthegreatropethat,hangingfromthetopofthebelfry,draggeditsendontheground。Swallowsflittedtoandfroutteringlittlecries,cuttheairwiththeedgeoftheirwings,andswiftlyreturnedtotheiryellownestsunderthetilesofthecoping。Attheendofthechurchalampwasburning,thewickofanight-lightinaglasshungup。Itslightfromadistancelookedlikeawhitestaintremblingintheoil。Alongrayofthesunfellacrossthenaveandseemedtodarkenthelowersidesandthecorners。
“Whereisthecure?“askedMadameBovaryofoneofthelads,whowasamusinghimselfbyshakingaswivelinaholetoolargeforit。