“Butpardonme!“shesaid。“Itiswrongofme。Iwearyyouwithmyeternalcomplaints。“
  “No,never,never!“
  “Ifyouknew,“shewenton,raisingtotheceilingherbeautifuleyes,inwhichatearwastrembling,“allthatIhaddreamed!“
  “AndI!Oh,Itoohavesuffered!OftenIwentout;Iwentaway。I
  draggedmyselfalongthequays,seekingdistractionamidthedinofthecrowdwithoutbeingabletobanishtheheavinessthatweigheduponme。Inanengraver’sshopontheboulevardthereisanItalianprintofoneoftheMuses。Sheisdrapedinatunic,andsheislookingatthemoon,withforget-me-notsinherflowinghair。Somethingdrovemetherecontinually;Istayedtherehourstogether。“Theninatremblingvoice,“Sheresembledyoualittle。“
  MadameBovaryturnedawayherheadthathemightnotseetheirrepressiblesmileshefeltrisingtoherlips。
  “Often,“hewenton,“IwroteyoulettersthatItoreup。“
  Shedidnotanswer。Hecontinued——
  “Isometimesfanciedthatsomechancewouldbringyou。IthoughtIrecognisedyouatstreet-corners,andIranafterallthecarriagesthroughwhosewindowsIsawashawlfluttering,aveillikeyours。“
  Sheseemedresolvedtolethimgoonspeakingwithoutinterruption。Crossingherarmsandbendingdownherface,shelookedattherosettesonherslippers,andatintervalsmadelittlemovementsinsidethesatinofthemwithhertoes。
  Atlastshesighed。
  “Butthemostwretchedthing,isitnot——istodragout,asIdo,auselessexistence。Ifourpainswereonlyofsomeusetosomeone,weshouldfindconsolationinthethoughtofthesacrifice。“
  Hestartedoffinpraiseofvirtue,duty,andsilentimmolation,havinghimselfanincrediblelongingforself-sacrificethathecouldnotsatisfy。
  “Ishouldmuchlike,“shesaid,“tobeanurseatahospital。“
  “Alas!menhavenoneoftheseholymissions,andIseenowhereanycalling——unlessperhapsthatofadoctor。“
  Withaslightshrugofhershoulders,Emmainterruptedhimtospeakofherillness,whichhadalmostkilledher。Whatapity!
  Sheshouldnotbesufferingnow!Leonatonceenviedthecalmofthetomb,andoneeveninghehadevenmadehiswill,askingtobeburiedinthatbeautifulrugwithvelvetstripeshehadreceivedfromher。Forthiswashowtheywouldhavewishedtobe,eachsettingupanidealtowhichtheywerenowadaptingtheirpastlife。Besides,speechisarolling-millthatalwaysthinsoutthesentiment。
  Butatthisinventionoftherugsheasked,“Butwhy?“
  “Why?“Hehesitated。“BecauseIlovedyouso!“Andcongratulatinghimselfathavingsurmountedthedifficulty,Leonwatchedherfaceoutofthecornerofhiseyes。
  Itwasliketheskywhenagustofwinddrivesthecloudsacross。
  Themassofsadthoughtsthatdarkenedthemseemedtobeliftedfromherblueeyes;herwholefaceshone。Hewaited。Atlastshereplied——
  “Ialwayssuspectedit。“
  Thentheywentoverallthetriflingeventsofthatfar-offexistence,whosejoysandsorrowstheyhadjustsummedupinoneword。Theyrecalledthearbourwithclematis,thedressesshehadworn,thefurnitureofherroom,thewholeofherhouse。
  “Andourpoorcactuses,wherearethey?“
  “Thecoldkilledthemthiswinter。“
  “Ah!howIhavethoughtofthem,doyouknow?Ioftensawthemagainasofyore,whenonthesummermorningsthesunbeatdownuponyourblinds,andIsawyourtwobarearmspassingoutamongsttheflowers。“
  “Poorfriend!“shesaid,holdingoutherhandtohim。
  Leonswiftlypressedhislipstoit。Then,whenhehadtakenadeepbreath——
  “AtthattimeyouweretomeIknownotwhatincomprehensibleforcethattookcaptivemylife。Once,forinstance,Iwenttoseeyou;butyou,nodoubt,donotrememberit。“
  “Ido,“shesaid;“goon。“
  “Youweredownstairsintheante-room,readytogoout,standingonthelaststair;youwerewearingabonnetwithsmallblueflowers;andwithoutanyinvitationfromyou,inspiteofmyself,Iwentwithyou。Everymoment,however,Igrewmoreandmoreconsciousofmyfolly,andIwentonwalkingbyyou,notdaringtofollowyoucompletely,andunwillingtoleaveyou。Whenyouwentintoashop,Iwaitedinthestreet,andIwatchedyouthroughthewindowtakingoffyourglovesandcountingthechangeonthecounter。ThenyourangatMadameTuvache’s;youwereletin,andIstoodlikeanidiotinfrontofthegreatheavydoorthathadclosedafteryou。“
  MadameBovary,asshelistenedtohim,wonderedthatshewassoold。Allthesethingsreappearingbeforeherseemedtowidenoutherlife;itwaslikesomesentimentalimmensitytowhichshereturned;andfromtimetotimeshesaidinalowvoice,hereyeshalfclosed——
  “Yes,itistrue——true——true!“
  TheyheardeightstrikeonthedifferentclocksoftheBeauvoisinequarter,whichisfullofschools,churches,andlargeemptyhotels。Theynolongerspoke,buttheyfeltastheylookeduponeachotherabuzzingintheirheads,asifsomethingsonoroushadescapedfromthefixedeyesofeachofthem。Theywerehandinhandnow,andthepast,thefuture,reminiscencesanddreams,allwereconfoundedinthesweetnessofthisecstasy。
  Nightwasdarkeningoverthewalls,onwhichstillshone,halfhiddenintheshade,thecoarsecoloursoffourbillsrepresentingfourscenesfromthe“TourdeNesle,“withamottoinSpanishandFrenchatthebottom。Throughthesash-windowapatchofdarkskywasseenbetweenthepointedroofs。
  Sherosetolighttwowax-candlesonthedrawers,thenshesatdownagain。
  “Well!“saidLeon。
  “Well!“shereplied。
  Hewasthinkinghowtoresumetheinterruptedconversation,whenshesaidtohim——
  “Howisitthatnooneuntilnowhaseverexpressedsuchsentimentstome?“
  Theclerksaidthatidealnaturesweredifficulttounderstand。
  Hefromthefirstmomenthadlovedher,andhedespairedwhenhethoughtofthehappinessthatwouldhavebeentheirs,ifthankstofortune,meetingherearlier,theyhadbeenindissolublyboundtooneanother。
  “Ihavesometimesthoughtofit,“shewenton。
  “Whatadream!“murmuredLeon。Andfingeringgentlythebluebindingofherlongwhitesash,headded,“Andwhopreventsusfrombeginningnow?“
  “No,myfriend,“shereplied;“Iamtooold;youaretooyoung。
  Forgetme!Otherswillloveyou;youwilllovethem。“
  “Notasyou!“hecried。
  “Whatachildyouare!Come,letusbesensible。Iwishit。“
  Sheshowedhimtheimpossibilityoftheirlove,andthattheymustremain,asformerly,onthesimpletermsofafraternalfriendship。
  Wasshespeakingthusseriously?NodoubtEmmadidnotherselfknow,quiteabsorbedasshewasbythecharmoftheseduction,andthenecessityofdefendingherselffromit;andcontemplatingtheyoungmanwithamovedlook,shegentlyrepulsedthetimidcaressesthathistremblinghandsattempted。
  “Ah!forgiveme!“hecried,drawingback。
  Emmawasseizedwithavaguefearatthisshyness,moredangeroustoherthantheboldnessofRodolphewhenheadvancedtoheropen-armed。Nomanhadeverseemedtohersobeautiful。Anexquisitecandouremanatedfromhisbeing。Heloweredhislongfineeyelashes,thatcurledupwards。Hischeek,withthesoftskinreddened,shethought,withdesireofherperson,andEmmafeltaninvinciblelongingtopressherlipstoit。Then,leaningtowardstheclockasiftoseethetime——
  “Ah!howlateitis!“shesaid;“howwedochatter!“
  Heunderstoodthehintandtookuphishat。
  “Ithasevenmademeforgetthetheatre。AndpoorBovaryhasleftmehereespeciallyforthat。MonsieurLormeaux,oftheRueGrand-Pont,wastotakemeandhiswife。“
  Andtheopportunitywaslost,asshewastoleavethenextday。
  “Really!“saidLeon。
  “Yes。“
  “ButImustseeyouagain,“hewenton。“Iwantedtotellyou——“
  “What?“
  “Something——important——serious。Oh,no!Besides,youwillnotgo;